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- [00:00]
Jen
It's time for Cyber Monday. Dell Technologies Biggest Sale of the year. That's right, you'll find the lowest prices of the year on select Dell PCs like the Dell 16 Plus. With Intel Core Ultra processors and with built in advanced AI features, it's the PC that helps you do more faster.
- [00:16]
Jill
From smarter multitasking to extended battery life, these PCs get the busy work done so you can focus on what matters most to you, plus earn Dell Rewards and enjoy many other benefits like free shipping, expert support, price match guarantee and flexible finance financing options.
- [00:33]
Jen
They also have the biggest deals on accessories that pair perfectly with your Dell PC, improving the way you work, play and connect. Whether you just started holiday shopping or you're finishing up, these PCs and accessories make perfect gifts for everyone on your list.
- [00:47]
Jill
Shop now@dell.com deals and don't miss out on the best prices of the year. That's Dell.com deals.
- [00:58]
Jen
You'Ve heard us talk about HelloFresh. They're America's number one meal kit, but this isn't the HelloFresh you remember. This fall they've leveled up in many ways. Starting with bigger, the menu has literally doubled. You can pick from over 100 options every week, including seasonal dishes and flavors from around the world.
- [01:14]
Jill
Also, the portions are bigger and healthier. You can choose from over 15 high protein recipes weekly including things like grass fed ribeyes or lamb chops, plus veggie packed meals with two or more veggies per dish.
- [01:28]
Jen
We've used HelloFresh and think they're a great solution for all our busy friends who still want home cooked meals like classic beef Chili or honey glazed pork Tenderloin plus seasonal produce like leeks and broccolini.
- [01:39]
Jill
The best way to cook just got better. Go to hellofresh.com frugal10fm now to get 10 free meals plus a free breakfast for life. One box with active subscription free meals applied as discount on first box. New subscribers only. Varies by plan. That's hellofresh.com frugals10fm to get 10 free meals plus free breakfast for life Stop.
- [02:03]
Jen
Budgeting and start values based spending in 2026.
- [02:12]
Jill
Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity and live a richer life.
- [02:22]
Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.
- [02:26]
Budgeting can elicit feelings of deprivation, guilt, shame and if that's the case for you, it could mean that you need to stop budgeting and start managing money in a new way.
- [02:37]
Jen
I spent years building budgets that I just never could stick to and I thought it was a me problem. I thought I needed more willpower, more self discipline. It made me feel really guilty. But what I realized when it finally stuck is that I needed to align my spending and my budgets with my values. And so that's what we're talking about today. Welcome, frugal friends. I'm Jen.
- [03:01]
Jill
I'm Jill.
- [03:02]
Jen
And budgeting gets a bad rep from people who really love it, from people who really hate it. And if you know us, you know, we think that there's a radical middle between the people who have just been so burned by budgeting they don't want to budget versus the people who religiously budget like it is their true religion. And so we really think after years of doing this, that values based spending and values based budgeting is that radical middle. And we haven't talked about it in a little while on the show after writing a whole book about it. So we figured it was time.
- [03:41]
Jill
We still think it's important though. We still think everyone should be doing it. It's been such a journey for me though, in what this has looked like because life changes, my rhythms and routines change, the amount of money I make changes. I mean, you know, some of us, Eric and I have been married since we were babies, but some of us get married and we have to join our finances. Eric and I, like grew up together. We learned how to do all this stuff together. So there was a. I was a child and then there was. I was married.
- [04:15]
Jen
But.
- [04:19]
This is not going to cut.
- [04:20]
Jill
Well, I said what I said my experience.
- [04:23]
Jen
She was not a child at the same time, she was a bride. We just want to make that clear.
- [04:29]
Jill
Both, both of us were children. Does that make it better?
- [04:33]
Jen
Nope.
- [04:35]
Jill
Well, yeah, I think I went from kind of more rigid to flexible though in it because when we as a young adult, I did not have a ton of money and so I had to be a lot more stringent with it. I did the whole cash envelope system, which I do, can be a really great way for people who really want to understand their money and where it's going to lock in on. But not, not it doesn't have to be long term. Like, I think we can get a good sense of our money and how to manage it without needing to carry all of our cash with us everywhere. But that's kind of where I began. And then now I'm a little bit more in the spreadsheet with really minimal categories. Like I am not making it complicated and incorporating this values based spending ide, which I know we'll talk about more.
- [05:26]
Jen
Yeah. I am on the other end of the spectrum, where I got married a little older. I mean, I was still. I mean.
- [05:33]
Jill
No, you didn't.
- [05:35]
Jen
I was older than you.
- [05:37]
Jill
You were older than me. You felt older.
- [05:39]
Jen
I felt older.
- [05:40]
Jill
26 felt old to you at the time, right?
- [05:42]
Jen
Well, I had been living on my own since I was 17, like, days after I turned 17. And so I would make these budgets, like I said in the intro, and I just would make these perfect budgets, and I couldn't stick to them, and I didn't know why. And I really thought it was a me problem, and it made me on that side of the spectrum that just, like, hated budgets. So when Travis and I decided to pay off our student loans, I had to reengage with budgeting, and I had to find a new way to do it. And in that season, I was super strict on the budget, but I found that in having. So we're probably, like, eight years out now since we paid off our debt. I went really strict to seasons of, like, absolutely. Like, again, hating the budget, wanting flexibility. But I think the difference that I found was that when you have a really specific goal, you need to have more specific actions, more intentional and specific actions and tools, practices, all of that. And I don't think everyone should have a really specific goal every minute of their life. I think that's really trendy on social media, on YouTube, podcasts, to always be working towards the next goal, but I don't think it's healthy, and I think it diminishes the value of the goals that we are trying to reach. And so we had this big debt payoff goal, and we had to be very specific. We had to be willing to say no to things if they were falling outside the budget. So now I don't actually have a goal that I'm trying to reach. So I don't.
- [07:32]
Jill
You mean specifically with money?
- [07:33]
Jen
With money, yeah. I mean, I have other life goals, sure.
- [07:36]
Jill
Yeah.
- [07:36]
Jen
Yeah, yeah. I was gonna say girl. But so. But those are more, like, recent. There was. I'm not always working towards, like, a very specific goal.
- [07:47]
Jill
Sometimes we're maintaining.
- [07:49]
Jen
Right.
- [07:49]
Jill
And that's okay.
- [07:49]
Jen
And I don't have a really specific financial goal right now. Like, I have an education goal or, like, a career goal, I guess, which is peripheral. But I don't budget monthly. Like, I don't have a monthly budget. And I know that sounds, like, super sacrilegious, but when I've talked to other personal finance media people on the inside, I'm not the Only one that does this. I felt like I was doing something wrong because I was like, I'm talking about budgets and I don't actually have a budget. But that's also not always the best strategy for everyone or long term. But it can be manageable if you're in this season or even if you're in the strict season of budgeting and you're trying to rework how you think about budgeting. Values based spending is that radical middle that can allow you to have freedom and flexibility with your spending without going off the rails.
- [08:54]
Jill
Yeah, I think I love what you're describing about having that specific goal, going after it, but then being able to have some of that flexibility on the other end of it doesn't have to parlay into some other thing that is causing you a ton of stress, a ton of rigidity, which I think is one of the reasons why it's such a good goal to have. Because it can feel so overwhelming, it can take so much of our time and energy to achieve debt freedom that there can be this relief, this exhale on the other side of things. Which is why we made the 90 day debt freedom fast track that we're going to be doing in the new year. So the first three months of the new year, we really want to help our viewers and listeners who are in a debt payoff journey to really catapult themselves. Like we believe that we can go further with support and resources and we are providing those to you all. So if this is your story and you want help in making those extra payments towards debt, we believe we can help you find an extra $1,000 to put towards debt in those three months through challenges.
- [10:03]
Jen
We want our community to pay off $100,000 of debt cumulatively in the first quarter of 2026. And we think we can do it. We think we can get $100,000 of debt paid off in the first quarter of the new year. And we want you to be part of that 100,000. We have a goal for you specifically of $1,000 in the first three months. So that's a little under $400 a month. And maybe you set the goal $400 a month, but it doesn't have to be that anything will do. Anything will go towards this collective goal and this collective energy that comes with doing this thing with other people. We're not just doing it alone and for ourselves. We are doing this as a collective to get that hundred thousand dollars paid off and out of the debt of our collective community.
- [11:01]
Jill
So we're Gonna have four calls with us. Three challenges, one challenge for every month. These are gonna be the first three months.
- [11:08]
Jen
These are the skill building challenges that will help you throughout the entirety of your debt payoff.
- [11:13]
Jill
Two free books, one goal of paying off debt. So we've got some early bird pricing happening until December 16th. So if you wanna get in on this, if this sounds like it's for you wanna learn more about like what are these challenges? Cause we don't wanna waste all of our time here talking about that. Definitely go to frugalfriendspodcast.com debt free.
- [11:37]
Jen
I forgot to put the link in the outline, but that's what it is. Frugalfriendspodcast.com debt free or the link is in the description. If you are on YouTube, please check it out and join us. This is going to be so beneficial. Even if you've just got a little bit of debt, a little bit of debt, a lot of debt, it doesn't matter. We want you to join us because these habits and these skills we will be building in these three months are going to be beneficial. Not just to pay off debt here, but really to reach other goals outside of financial moving forward. So maybe once you reach your financial goal, you have a health goal or you have a career goal or something like that, these are going to be beneficial there as well. Whenever you do pick your next goal after you take a break.
- [12:26]
Jill
So once you paid off debt, when did you decide? Oh, I'm not, I'm not budgeting anymore now.
- [12:33]
Jen
So it was a seasonal thing. It wasn't like a decision like I'm going to stop budgeting. It happened. So once we paid off debt, we wanted to get a really good chunk of money invested for retirement. And so we continued to live pretty bare bones after we paid off debt. Because you don't just like go from 60 to 0 immediately. It is almost impossible to take your foot off the gas entirely.
- [13:01]
Jill
Take it Whiplash. Right.
- [13:02]
Jen
And so I often say I had a debt payoff hangover honestly. So we spent a year and a half building that, maybe almost two years. And then I got laid off for my job and that was the last W2 position that I had and full time W2 position and that. And I was seven months pregnant at the time. So when we had Kai is when I was unable to budget in the way that I had before and I didn't know a way really to do it differently. And I am so Kai is now six and a half years old. And so it's really been this Kind of back and forth of.
- [13:57]
Discovering values based spending in real time. Like developing the things that we wrote about in buy what you love without going broke. Like I was trying to develop them in real time, trying to keep my spending in check with all the chaos going on around me while not making a budget. Not because I couldn't make a budget, it's because I chose not to. I chose to use the limited energy resources I had in other ways.
- [14:30]
Jill
Yeah, I mean, I think it's worth clarifying that it's not as if no budget then means you're just spending wildly or going into further debt. I think what you're describing, and it sounds very like. Ooh, like.
- [14:49]
Jen
Scandalous.
- [14:50]
Jill
Scandalous, yeah. What's the word? It makes me nervous, that's for sure. But it's this whole concept of what you're describing, having done it for so long and really knowing what you can spend, what you can't spend, but also really digging into this concept of values based spending, which we came to this understanding through these years of podcasting and through writing the book that we all do share these kind of four common values, we call them now the four Fs of faith, family, friends, and fulfilling work. And that we want to be putting the majority of our efforts towards fulfilling these values. That this is where we're going to get the most fulfillment, the most purpose, and that a lot of our spending actually is to get us closer to those four Fs, but sometimes it doesn't actually fulfill us in the way that we think it's going to. I know you talk about in our book how you would spend money going out to eat, but it'd be in a loud restaurant and, you know, you might buy beer, which you don't like, and you never really got to connect with the people that you went out with and instead finding some of these alternatives. And I think that kind of that example is really at the heart part of what we're describing here, that when we start to focus our money on what matters most to us and our values, we can find that we don't actually have to spend so much in those areas, which can help us free up money and then make some of those decisions. On what do I want to do then with some of this margin that I'm finding. Is it to pay down debt? Is it guilt free towards this? Because going out to eat in and of itself doesn't necessarily bring us connection with people. Connecting with people, people is what brings us connection. There's plenty of ways to do that. In some of those free ways. So I think that's what we're describing here. And so you do have a sense of a budget. It's just not written down in the traditional ways that you might write it down. You kind of know you've got your way of how do I find free events and ways to get together with people on the weekend and how can I have people over and how can I enjoy family time? And there's a lot of things that you're doing that are leading a rich life, but it's not spending a ton of money. And so then you don't have to feel stressed about where all your money's going.
- [17:21]
Jen
There are pros and cons. So values based spending at its simplest definition is of course spending on what you value and saying no to what you don't. That's a simple definition, but it's quite complicated to, to get there because first you have to figure out, what do I value? And I went through a lot of this discovery while I was in that really strict budgeting mode. And that like self imposed restriction, those self made barriers do really help you in finding what you value and what you don't. So there's definitely a place for them and I think even to an extent a requirement to visit these extremes. While we want to live in the radical middle, it is beneficial to visit the extremes so that you can get a sense as to what your place in the middle is. And so I was living in college and stuff in this extreme, you know, like, I'll never get out of debt. I make less per year than what I have in debt. I'm just going to spend everything I make and like not worry about it. So I spent years living there and that was so fun. Loved it, but was really anxious all the time about money for some reason. So then we went into this really strict, like every dollar, every penny spent has to be accounted for in advance. And that was not sustainable. But it was really healthy because I had those instances that you were talking about that I wrote about where I was going out with friends to a brewery and sitting there drinking a beer. And I was like, I actually don't, I don't think I like beer. Like, I love hanging out with my friends and I love getting a drink. Like don't get me wrong, I do love a martini. I love an old fashioned, like I do, you know, vibe in a cocktail.
- [19:24]
Jill
I get down. Right.
- [19:26]
Jen
But that didn't mean like also like I'm not super into wine. Like I. So I was, I Was figuring out these things instead of just operating out of habit and autopilot. I had to really think like, oh, I'm spending money on this and do I, is this what I want to be spending money on? It doesn't mean I can't spend money on any recreational things. But I have to figure out, okay, I am in a specific goal reaching seeking season right now, so what are the things that I want to say yes to and what are the things I want to say no to. And in that season it was a lot of no just for no's sake. And it was miserable. Like I was not having as much fun. But the more I don't know. It's a blessing and a curse, a double edged sword because I was then forced to get creative with how I met my, my deeper values. And so that's where we are getting creative in like how can I get what I value for free? And if I can't get it for free, how can I get it for low cost?
- [20:37]
So secondhand or just really, really low cost, then how can I get like a deal on it and then how can I pay full price without guilt? Those are kind of like the four levels of values based spending once you find your values and you want to spend on them. But yeah, so I had that really strict time figuring out what did I value and what did I not value. And that was really integral to being able to live right now in this kind of like 201 level of where I'm not writing a budget. I still have Monarch. I use Monarch to keep track of my transactions in real time. Frugalfriendspodcast.com Monarch will get you 50% off of what? Of your first year. Highly recommend people try it. If you don't have a budgeting app you already love. I can see transactions in real time. I can see if there's any fraudulent transactions. I can keep up with what I am spending. So that I'm always asking like, okay, did I value that transaction? I'm always having to ask myself every day and check in with myself. But it's definitely like a 201 version. There's different spectrum, like sides of the spectrum of values based spending.
- [21:53]
Jill
I think what you're saying underscores why it can be so non beneficial to start with the math. I think for those of us who find that budgeting just isn't working. For me, budgeting feels like deprivation. I hate the word budgeting. A lot of times it's because we're trying to fit like a square Peg into a round hole or we're just hearing here's how you do it and plop it into your circumstances and make it work. And it just doesn't. And even if it works one month, it's that same thing is not going to work for the next month. And so we don't have the flexibility with it that we actually want. And we don't know ourselves well enough yet to just jump to the math. And so that's why we recommend beginning with if you've never done it or starting anew with a 90 day transaction inventory. I think knowing where our money has been going can be indicative of where it might be going in the future. It can reveal a lot to us about what we value or some of the discrepancies between what I say I want to do versus where my money is actually going. And so being able to look at what have I spent money on in the last 90 days from the credit card transactions to the bank transactions. And we're including everything, right? This still includes mortgage and rent and the utility bills. That's. That's a part of where our money goes. And it's important. And I think those things can be questioned of is this, do I want this percentage of my income to be going to this living situation or whatever it may be, but get all those transactions in one place and go through them. What do I remember spending on, what do I forget spending on? What do I feel really good about, what do I wish I hadn't? What can I still return and get some money back? This is going to help reveal to us.
- [23:44]
What is good, what do I want to keep and what do I want to say no to. Right? That easy question that you can ask at the beginning but it takes a while to get there of what do I value spending money on and what do I not value spending money on and start to shift some of our behaviors and the things that we do to that more values aligned. And I think similarly to when we are minimizing or simplifying our spaces. We don't start with our mementos, our most treasured supplies and gifts. We start with the junk drawer. We start with the easiest, best thing first. So what's easy to say no to?
- [24:24]
Jen
Beer.
- [24:24]
Jill
That's an easy one to cut out. For me it's Starbucks for going to Target. I never need to go there ever. Cut out the things that aren't going to hurt you to cut out and then keep going from there. And it doesn't mean that eventually we won't have a Monarch app or a spreadsheet like me, but that we can kind of take a break from the rigidity, understand ourselves, and then start to incorporate the math.
- [24:52]
Jen
The world is full of tours.
- [24:57]
Jill
But you don't choose a Toyota truck to.
- [24:59]
Jen
Follow the beaten path.
- [25:01]
Sheri
You choose it to find the places.
- [25:03]
Jen
In between.
- [25:06]
The detours where each adventure pulls you toward the next.
- [25:11]
Jill
And wrong turns turn out right.
- [25:15]
Jen
So why would you ever take a tour when you could take a detour? Toyota trucks what I love about Chime is how simple they make money feel. No overdraft fees, no monthly fees, no minimum balance. Just actual fee free banking that isn't working against you.
- [25:33]
Jill
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- [25:42]
Jen
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- [25:55]
Jill
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- [26:23]
Jen
So we really think that values based spending can not just eliminate the need for budgeting because again that can come like later. But most of you, if you're watching this, you probably have a financial goal that you are trying to reach right now. And so values based spending can be used right up front even before you know your values or any what you don't value any of that. You probably have some kind of inkling but it, I think it can really help heal this, this relationship with budgeting. You can kind of reset your feelings about budgeting and there's like there's one thing in particular I think that we have been talking about that we invited our friend Sherry to chat with us more about and that's like this money dysmorphia. So money dysmorphia is just you're seeing your money in the in one way in your brain and it's not necessarily what is in reality. And so people can use budgeting as a way to, to either justify this dysmorphia, even though budgeting should be a tool to root yourself back into reality. And people can also do the same. They can avoid budget to affirm this dysmorphia. So I think.
- [27:50]
Talking with Sheri, who has seen. She is a financial advisor. She has a podcast called Everybody's Everyone's Talking Money. And so we just wanted. She's seen this in her clients a ton. So we wanted to chat with her about like what she sees.
- [28:11]
When she's explaining values based spending to people with money dysmorphia. Sheri, you did a three episode series on money dysmorphia and I thought that concept was super interesting. Can you kind of explain it and how you became like aware of it?
- [28:32]
Sheri
Yeah. So money dysmorphia is essentially having a distorted view of your financial situation. And it can go from one extreme to the other. It could be like, I have no money. I have no idea what I'm doing with my money. Everything is terrible. Which leads to over saving, never feeling like you can have enough saved. So really restricting yourself. Conversely, money dysmorphia could also have. You could have a better view of your financial situation. So actually think you're doing better than what you are. We're presenting you're doing better than what you are. Which then is overspending.
- [29:20]
Which obviously creates an issue creating debt. So it's two extremes, but it's just not being kind of in reality of where you really are financially.
- [29:32]
Jill
What would alert somebody to having this? Because it sounds like part of even the description of money dysmorphia is you don't know. You don't know.
- [29:42]
Jen
Yeah. Is this something that even. Yeah. And even when you see you still think like differently.
- [29:49]
Sheri
So it could be someone that.
- [29:52]
As far as the I don't do as well as I should be or everyone's doing better than me side of money dysmorphia. If you're like thinking like, like, well, I, I have the good job. I, I don't have that much debt. I save, I do all the right things, quote unquote. But I'm still so far behind compared to everyone else. I'm doing so terribly. I, I'm never doing the right things with my money. And you just feel like that constant despair where if someone were would present to you like you, but not. You don't know. It's you, you'd be like, oh, they're doing great. They're all right, they're doing just fine. So it's kind of like if you never feel like you're. If the feeling of I'm never going to get there. I'm never feeling like I'm doing enough, I have enough saved enough investing enough, and it's all. It's going to be that way forever. But like, looking from the outside in, that's not, that's not realistic. Then that's kind of the money dysmorphia. And like, like everyone kind of has it a little bit in one way or another. Like, so there is a difference between just like some doubt, like, and like questioning versus not being in reality when it comes to your money.
- [31:11]
Jill
What do you think leads to this? Like, why do we all have a version of this somewhere along the spectrum, like, why. Why is our perspective different from reality wise there that disparity, do you think?
- [31:24]
Sheri
Because we live in a vacuum when it comes to money. We don't talk about money, thankfully, we're doing our part to change that. But even still, we're talking into microphones and people are listening in their earbuds. How often does that translate to people having conversations with their friends or family members or whoever about money? So even then, we're still in our silos. So we're listening right now and we're taking this information in or any episodes that we put out, we're taking this information in and then we're trying to apply it to our lives ourselves. And again, we're just in the vacuum or in our own thoughts. And you know, we, we've talked before about like, extremes. When you're in your own thoughts or you're only thinking thoughts that are similar to yours, that's when the extremes come in. There's no checks and balances. There's no one coming to you with a different perspective or a different opinion. So it just kind of morphs into like this monster. So we get this way because we're not talking to anyone about our money. We're not getting help. We're just living in our own vacuum and functioning there.
- [32:43]
Jill
Do you think that. So is that one of the solutions here in kind of remedying money dysmorphia? Do you think it's conversations with people like what. What else might help us to move more towards this place where our perspective and reality are more in alignment?
- [32:59]
Sheri
Totally talking about it. 1. I mean, if you can speak to a professional, right, A planner, a financial coach, a Financial therapist to talk these things through. That's super helpful, right? Because they can present to you the facts. Still acknowledge, especially with anyone that you seek out for help professionally, they need to have a understand your emotions, right? Because they can't just say, well, here's the facts and here's what it is, because that's not going to help. They need to understand your emotions too. But they can help work through the emotions and look at the numbers a little bit more. Like, hey, you're saving X amount of your income. You have this much saved for retirement when you retire in 25 years. Like, yeah, based on, you're going to be just fine. And they can use the facts and the figures and the charts and the systems to show you those things. But like, if you don't ever talk about it or get help or, or help find someone to help you move through the muck of the emotions and show you more of the facts, you're never going to think you have enough for retirement, for example, because enough is never enough. But if someone shows you, no, like, here's my systems that go through every market scenario in existence and yeah, you are going to have enough, quote unquote, and I'm really simplifying the conversation, but you are going to have enough money in retirement, like that helps to alleviate some of the, some of the issues.
- [34:43]
So being able to talk it out or like even if you're not, you're like, well, I'm not ready to talk to a professional about it. Like, start talking with your friends. Like maybe your one friend who you think has it all together. Like, hey, like, how do you do what you do? You may one find out they don't have it all together and it's just a facade, right? Or they may give you some strategies and like some of the things they're saying, you might be like, oh, I'm already doing that. Okay. Like, I'm not that far off. So looking like, so yeah, talking about it, taking the lid off of this stuff is so important and, but just starting with like simple, easy conversation. So like not living in the vacuum of our thoughts helps to break away this dysmorphia.
- [35:34]
Jen
After hearing Sheri explain money dysmorphia, did you feel like you have had that before?
- [35:40]
Jill
100%.
- [35:41]
Jen
A hundred percent. I still do struggle with it.
- [35:45]
Jill
Oh yeah. I think it depends on like even the context in which we find ourselves because we're going to compare ourselves not just to the people online, but the people in our own lives. And so I think we can find ourselves on either end of the spectrum thinking we're doing really great, maybe we're not, or we're doing really poorly. And maybe that's not true either. And so I think it's good to find some of these tethers for where is reality. And I think one of the best tethers is knowing ourselves well and understanding where do I want my money to be going, what are my goals? I think we can lack an anchor really in life, but definitely within finances. If we don't have a clear picture of what's beneficial for us, what we want to be doing, what are our goals. And we can just kind of flounder around of, oh, I hear they're paying off debt. Okay, maybe let me try that for a little bit. Oh, no, they're talking about investing. Okay, let me do that for a little bit. Oh no, they're just going on vacation. I want to try that.
- [36:50]
Jen
I would prefer that one, actually. That's the one that I would like. Sounds better. Yeah.
- [36:56]
Jill
And we can just get tossed and turned around a bit. But I think if we really have an understanding of what do I want to be doing, what's valuable to me, where do I feel best when I'm spending money, what's an easy no? And then we can make our math build around that. We can feel a lot more confident and we're not so questioning where am I? Or having maybe these ideas about our situation that are not based in reality whatsoever.
- [37:24]
Jen
Yeah. So in conclusion, budgeting is still an integral part of money management. And I'll be honest, when like not budgeting gives me a. Still gives me a certain level of anxiety. Right. But it is again, it is always a choice to budget or not budget is a choice to follow your budget or not follow it. And that's why I think we need to give ourselves more grace. But we also need to change how we think about budgeting so that we can better stick to it. And that's where I think values based spending comes in. It gives you that different way of thinking about your budget, which is just a plan for your money. And it gives you more freedom to make your own budget. You don't have to be on here searching for like the 50, 30, 20 budget or the zero based budget or whatever budgeting method people are say is going to change everything for you. It's not. You have to to change budgeting to work for you.
- [38:38]
Jill
Values based budgeting is something that can serve us beyond just managing our money. It is one of those things that helps us realize what's most important to me. How do I spend more time and energy on those things? I mean, when I went through a season of really wanting to cut back to be able to put more money towards renovations, it was a challenge for me to not do some of the things I was doing previously. And so I leaned into more free community events and having friends over checking out parks in my area that I hadn't been to. And even when the renovations were done and everything was paid off, I still kept up with those things because I learned I really like being outside. I really like having people over for a potluck. I really enjoy finding free things to do and getting more plugged in with my community rather than just doing the classic just go to the movies, go out to eat, go spend money on this thing. And so it has served me well in even allowing me to try new things, finding other things that I enjoy. And so I can't say enough good things about it if you want to learn more about Values based spending because we surely did not cover it all, we wrote a whole book about it. Buy what yout Love Without Going Broke.
- [40:02]
Jen
And it's if you want us to do more videos expounding on topics within values based spending, if you have questions about anything we talked about, leave it in the comments and we can do follow up videos. If you see the comment already there, like it and we'll do more on this in addition to if you want to read the book@buywhatyoulovebook.com and there's even instructions on that site on how to request at your library if your library doesn't already have it.
- [40:33]
Jill
Do you know what else we'll do more on every single episode?
- [40:36]
Jen
Oh, you don't have to request this, but you can.
- [40:40]
Jill
The Bill of the Week.
- [40:52]
That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his.
- [40:58]
Jen
Name is is William.
- [41:00]
Jill
Maybe you paid off your mortgage. Maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck Bills, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton this is the Bill of the Week. Hi, my name is Joe Meyer. I've been listening to your podcast for a few months.
- [41:16]
Sheri
My Bill of the Week is about.
- [41:18]
Jill
Money I didn't spend this week. Instead of buying new lampshades, I decided to see if I could bring my old ones back to life.
- [41:25]
Sheri
Life.
- [41:25]
Jill
They were looking dingy and dusty and I was tempted to replace them. But then I found a YouTube video.
- [41:30]
Sheri
On how to clean fabric lampshades I followed the steps, removed the shades, brushed.
- [41:35]
Jill
The dust, pre treated with dawn dish soap, gently scrubbed them with laundry detergent.
- [41:40]
Sheri
And warm water, rinsed and let them air dry overnight.
- [41:44]
Jill
The result? They look brand new. No money spent, no waste. And my lampshades are shiny bright again. Thanks to a little Internet search and elbow grease, I saved at least $120 and kept perfectly good lampshades out of the landfill.
- [41:59]
Jen
Oh, Jo.
- [42:01]
Jill
Jo.
- [42:02]
Jen
Bless EMS upon.
- [42:05]
Blessings upon.
- [42:08]
Woo.
- [42:10]
Jill
Why does this make my heart so happy? Spending money.
- [42:15]
Jen
Don't need none of that.
- [42:16]
Jill
Don't need none of that Stuff in the landfill. Don't need none of that.
- [42:21]
Yes. If you're wondering, we are referencing a completely unhinged Instagram reel that we're both obsessed with. But I will share it.
- [42:31]
Jen
I'll add the link to it in the outline so it makes it into.
- [42:34]
Jill
The description so you can know what we're imitating. Jo, this is amazing. First of all, I want to comment on how expensive lampshades are. Some of us don't think we're like, oh, I'm going to do like a little refresh, go get some new lampshades. First of all, really hard to find a lampshade that's gonna fit your lamp. Lamp lamp style, lamp aesthetic. And there's structure of the lamp and then price point. Oh boy. And then sometimes I think I'm gonna find a lampshade at the thrift store. Again, so hard to find lampshades. And then the thrift store is gonna charge you at least $25 for them. It's wild. It's wild with what big lampshade is out there doing.
- [43:15]
Jen
Big lampshade, Big lampshade.
- [43:17]
Jill
And I love the ingenuity here to say I'm going to look up a YouTube video. Surely someone is teaching me how to clean this. You did it. You did it. Well, it worked. You learned a new skill. This is what we're talking about where we might have typically just spent and not out of deprivation. Just do I really have a value to spend $120 on new lampshades? Just, just cuz what else could I do with that money? Let me try something. Let me spend, you know, a little bit of time doing this new thing I've never done before. Love it. Love it so much. Joe. Well done.
- [43:54]
Jen
Bless upon.
- [43:55]
Jill
Bless upon. And if you all are listening, have a bill that you want to submit. If it has to do with not spending your hard earned dollar bills or spending them without guilt because you've learned all about values based spending or your name is Bill. Frugalfriendspodcast.com/bill. We can't wait to hear it.
- [44:14]
Jen
Open enrollment always reminds me how confusing health care can be. High premiums, networks, fine print. But you don't have to just accept it. Crowd Health puts you in control.
- [44:24]
Jill
I've dealt with high premiums, surprise denials and crazy bills before and it's so frustrating. But Crowd Health does things differently. It's not insurance. It's a community funding each other's medical bills. No middleman, no networks, no nonsense.
- [44:37]
Jen
For under $100 a month, you get bill negotiators, low cost labs and prescriptions, and a database of vetted doctors. If something major happens, you pay the first $500 and the crowd helps with the rest. Members have already saved over $40 million in healthcare expenses because they refuse to overpay for health care.
- [44:55]
Jill
This open enrollment Take back your power. Join Crowd Health to get started today for $99 for your first three months using code FRUGAL@JoinCrowdHealth.com that's JoinCrowdHealth.com code FRUGAL. Crowd health is not insurance. Opt out. Take your power back. This is how we win.
- [45:13]
Jen
Join CrowdHealth.com Every holiday I think about the year I got Tevas. You know, the shoes with the bright straps everybody wanted? I wore them non stop until they basically disintegrated. I wish they'd lasted longer than a few summers because they looked so good on me.
- [45:29]
Jill
Some gifts really should last a lifetime, like the gift of security that you could be giving to your family by using Policy Genius and Insurance Marketplace. We truly don't want you to be one of the nearly half of American adults who say they would suffer financial hardship within six months if they lost their primary income earner.
- [45:48]
Jen
Which is why we're constantly recommending term life insurance. And policygenius is our trusted resource to help you find and compare life insurance from top companies online for free. Their licensed team makes everything clear and simple.
- [46:02]
Jill
No guesswork with Policygenius. Real users have gotten 20 year $2 million policies for just $53 a month. Don't wait until next year. Give your family the gift of security today with Policygenius. Head to Policygenius.com to compare life insurance quotes from top companies and see how much you could save. That's policygenius.com and now it's time for the lightning round.
- [46:32]
Jen
What's a recent purchase you made that you felt good about? Slash was aligned with your values?
- [46:40]
Jill
Hey O Hey O I Recently.
- [46:45]
Went to a local yoga studio and participated in hot yoga. It was donation based class.
- [46:56]
I did pay a donation. Don't you worry.
- [46:59]
Jen
I, I didn't worry about that. The hot yoga part is what I was worried about.
- [47:05]
Jill
Yeah.
- [47:06]
Jen
Those two words separately do not interest me and together they interest me even less.
- [47:13]
Jill
It's so crazy. Yeah. You and I are so similar in many ways and then so very different in other ways. Like I loved it so much like this. It was so enjoyable.
- [47:29]
Jen
Oh God.
- [47:30]
Jill
And I'll say guilt free for so many reasons. I went with a friend that was such a fun way to spend time together. It's a local studio, so you know us, we love to support local. I love the structure of, of donation based because it really allows. It makes it accessible for anybody to be able to go. They usually recommend between 5 to $15 donation for classes like that. And it got me trying something new which I am finding that I really enjoy. Just. Oh, never done that before. Sure, let me try it. Let me get out and meet new people. And, and it was so enjoyable. I hope I do it again. And actually, believe it or not, many of you probably won't believe this. It got chilly last week here in Florida. It was like 40 degrees in the morning, which did feel very cold to me. And that was the day that I went and did hot yoga. So it was actually again so amazing.
- [48:38]
Jen
We get so, so few cool days in this city and you spent one of them doing hot yoga.
- [48:48]
Jill
It was just what my chili bones needed.
- [48:51]
Jen
Okay.
- [48:52]
Jill
Okay. How about you?
- [48:55]
Jen
Last weekend we took the kids out and we had tacos on a patio at Torchy's and then we went to get.
- [49:06]
Frozen custard at this new frozen custard place that just opened and we, we split, the four of us split two custards. But that's just because we were full. And I loved every.
- [49:19]
Jill
Not because you're broke.
- [49:21]
Jen
Right.
- [49:21]
Jill
I just need to clarify.
- [49:24]
Jen
I mean, there's other practical reasons. I don't want people to think like I'm. I guess I didn't have to say how many we got. I just didn't want people to think we're like depriving our children of ice cream.
- [49:40]
I don't know. She said what she said, I said what I said. So that was so lovely to take the kids out and do that. And it was a beautiful evening outside and it was such a lovely time. We rarely go out.
- [49:57]
Jill
Yeah.
- [49:59]
Jen
And so that was just like a lovely thing.
- [50:02]
Jill
And that's an example of how sometimes going out does meet your values head on.
- [50:08]
Jen
I think it's when we do something over and over and over, it takes the specialness out of it. And going out people, it's not like people never went out in the 60s and the 70s and the 50s. These times we kind of like idolize, quote unquote for their frugality. Like, no, people went out to eat, but they went out to eat less. And it was a special event. Like, I'm sure maybe you talked to your grandparents or your parents and saying like, oh yeah, when the family went out for McDonald's it was like, so it was this thing I remembered. Like, it was so great. Like, those are the things that I want to like bring to my kids. I don't want them to just assume, oh, we need to eat, so we're going out to McDonald's or something. I want these special things to be special and I want other more mundane things to be not special.
- [51:09]
Jill
Agreed.
- [51:10]
Jen
So thank you guys so much for listening, for watching wherever you're tuning in.
- [51:18]
We love reading your reviews and your comments. Whether you're listening on on Spotify or you're watching on YouTube, we would love for you to join in the conversation. So whatever platform you're on, if you could leave a rating a comment, click the subscribe button. If you're on YouTube, we love and if you've read the book, buy what you love without going broke. We would love a review on that on Amazon. You don't even have to have purchased it on Amazon, but that is where most people go first. First to read reviews for books or. Or Goodreads. Kind of like this one from Karen. It says wise advice, creative ideas and kindness all the way. As a fan of the podcast, I bought this book knowing it would inspire me as I continue to strengthen my financial muscles and transform my identity from consumer to investor. I love the holistic approach, the practical advice mixed with a healthy helping of higher level writing on how money is integrated with our values. This is one of those books books I wanted to instantly reread.
- [52:23]
Jill
Thank you, Karen.
- [52:24]
Sheri
Wow.
- [52:25]
Jen
Yes.
- [52:25]
Jill
Instant reread. That feels like an honor.
- [52:31]
Jen
And if you are a Spanish speaker, the book is going to be published in Spain and I believe Mexico. We have not signed the contract yet, but we have entered into the agreement and so the Spanish language versions are coming.
- [52:49]
Jill
Yay.
- [52:50]
Jen
So be on the lookout for those.
- [52:51]
Jill
Yeah. Thanks for being here. Thanks for leaving a review, a comment. Thanks for liking following. Just, you know, we love all the things that you do for free that support us and we'll see you next time.
- [53:00]
Jen
Yes. And if you're still here, if, if you're the real one, you're still here. In Friday's Friend Letter, we are sending out a free list of 100 online secondhand shopping stores. Because our next episode we'll talk a little bit about consumerism.
- [53:17]
So if you want it, definitely check out your friend letter. Move it to your primary inbox so you see that if you're not already getting the friend letter, head to frugalfriendspodcast.com it's right there on the homepage to sign up because you are not going to want to miss this list.
- [53:33]
Jill
Can't wait.
- [53:34]
Jen
Bye.
- [53:36]
Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirian.
- [53:50]
Jill
Okay, Jen, something happened yesterday that like really kind of shook me.
- [54:00]
I was near tears and just so grateful. Guess what it was.
- [54:07]
Jen
Oh, my God.
- [54:08]
Jill
I know. That was a lot of adjectives. There's no way you're gonna guess. Okay.
- [54:12]
Jen
It's gonna be something weird.
- [54:15]
Jill
No, it's not. It's not. I didn't know what to do with this. I honestly almost sent you a voice memo because I was just so floored about it.
- [54:27]
Here we go. Here it is. We got an email from a person who receives the friend letter about cit, the high yield savings account that we always recommend, the one that I use. So this person had signed up for the friendline or for CIT and had been investing in it. And she had a question essentially about what APY meant and why she wasn't getting more money monthly, that kind of a thing. And she said in the email, is there something big that I'm missing? I just wanted to ask you guys, like, I'm gonna reach out to the bank, but in case there's something that I'm missing, I don't wanna call them and look like an idiot.
- [55:11]
Jen
Right, Jen?
- [55:14]
Jill
I'm like, I'm still.
- [55:17]
I don't know what it's doing to me viscerally, but I am so overwhelmed by the fact that we have a community and this isn't this type of thing. Isn't the first time that it has happened something like this. But it's, it's so remarkable that we've got people who feel so comfortable to reach out to us with their questions that they would feel like an idiot asking like a bank or going to the entity to should they reach out.
- [55:47]
Jen
To us because we're a safe space. Yes.
- [55:52]
Jill
I couldn't get over how remarkable that was, how much that hit me that like it was no problem for her. I mean she sent us a screenshot of like the balance in her CIT account. Just like fully asking the question that we don't think dumb.
- [56:11]
Jen
But I didn't get a screenshot.
- [56:15]
Jill
Same email.
- [56:18]
Jen
I didn't look at it as hard.
- [56:22]
I didn't think as much about it.
- [56:24]
Jill
I don't think it's a dumb question.
- [56:26]
Jen
No, it was a great, it was a really smart question.
- [56:30]
Jill
They thought that it would be a dumb question to ask a bank but not a dumb question to ask us.
- [56:37]
Jen
And that means we're doing it right. I love that.
- [56:40]
Jill
We feel like the safe place to go ask these questions.
- [56:45]
Jen
And if you have more questions, frugalfriendspodcast.com debt free will be with you to answer them. No question is dumb in the debt free fast track.
- [56:55]
Jill
You're looking at the camera right now. What we're recording right now is not on the camera.
- [57:00]
Jen
I know, I do that all the time actually. I record the after show and I.
- [57:05]
Jill
Look at the camera in the room.
- [57:06]
Jen
With us right now. I feel, well, it looks like the robot from Wall E. Only a black version of her.
- [57:13]
Jill
Yes, the camera represents our listeners. So yeah, it feels friendly.
- [57:20]
Jen
I mean, you'll give her a hug.
- [57:22]
Jill
VRBO helps you swap gift wrap time for quality time.
- [57:25]
Jen
Go to VRBO now and book a last minute week long stay and save.
- [57:29]
Jill
Over $390 this holiday season. Book your next vacation rental home on VRBO. Average savings $396.
- [57:36]
Jen
Select homes only.
- [57:37]
Jill
What do you think makes the perfect snack? It's gotta be when I'm really craving it and it's convenient. Could you be more specific? When it's cravenient. Okay, like a freshly baked cookie made with real butter available right now in the street at a.m. p.m. Or a savory breakfast sandwich I can grab in just a second at a.m. pM. I'm seeing a pattern here.
- [57:55]
Jen
Well yeah, we're talking about what I.
- [57:56]
Jill
Crave, which is anything from AM pm. What more could you want?
- [57:59]
Jen
Stop by AMPM where the snacks and drinks are perfectly craveable and convenient. That's cravinience AM PM too much good stuff.