The Problem With Thrifting: What No One Tells You About Thrift Shopping Secondhand

Summary

Podcast Summary

Frugal Friends Podcast

Episode: The Problem With Thrifting: What No One Tells You About Thrift Shopping Secondhand
Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Release Date: August 19, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jen and Jill tackle the myths and realities of thrifting. While a core tenet of frugality is “buy secondhand first," the hosts critically examine the hidden costs and drawbacks of thrift shopping, from fit issues and time wasted to overconsumption and even (humorously) hauntings. They mix personal stories, social media clips, and actionable advice to help listeners make thrift shopping a more intentional, value-aligned practice.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why Challenge Thrifting? (03:06–04:41)

• Thrifting is not a frugal cure-all. Jen and Jill review their own and others' obsessive thrifting habits, questioning if “secondhand first” is always best.
• Jen: “Even with good things, whether it be shopping secondhand, sustainability, meal planning... it's good to check in every once in a while to make sure is what I'm doing still good for me on the path to my goals.” (03:39)
• Jill: Pushes back on some anti-thrifting arguments, but agrees it’s time to get "off our high horses" (or horse sweaters).

2. Fit and Accessibility Challenges (07:41–10:45)

• Plus-size and uncommon sizes are often excluded.
• Guest clip: A plus-size shopper describes the “bleak" offerings: “This is what you’re finding in the plus-size women’s thrift section. Like, what is that shirt?” (08:21)
• Even mainstream sizes can struggle to find items that fit personal style and need.
• Jill: “If you’re not in that range of sizing, you’re not going to find what you’re looking for. And even if you are, you still might not find the thing.”

3. Quality vs. Quantity & Fast Fashion Alternatives (10:45–12:31)

• Quantity over value is a risk—even secondhand.
• Jen: “I have heard of people who bought a lot of fast fashion, spent a grand in a year…and then ended up spending the same when they switched to quality pieces—but only had five or six items.”
• Jill: “Thrifting can lead to just a lot of quantity… we justify it by ‘it’s secondhand’, but don’t look at our consumption or (maybe) hoarding behaviors.”

4. The ‘Haunted’ Factor—Risks and Red Flags (12:34–19:32)

• Tongue-in-cheek talk of “haunted” objects, but real warnings about cleanliness:
  • Victorian mourning jewelry made from hair, signet rings, vintage glasses = "super haunted."
• Jen’s story: A secondhand blender from Facebook Marketplace brought German cockroaches into their home. (14:27–15:49)
  • Her tip: “Give it a couple bangs on the counter before you bring it home.”
• Practical Tips:
  • Wash all thrifted clothes immediately.
  • Be aware of potential pests, mold, or even lead in vintage items.

5. Time Cost of Thrifting (21:00–27:21)

• Thrift shopping eats up hours; in-person vs. online discussed.
• Guest clip: “You can use filters online, but in-store you sift endlessly. Most people don’t have the time or desire.”
• Jill: Loves the “hunt” aspect, but acknowledges, “You need to have in mind what you’re looking for and not just be led by low prices."
• Jen: Prefers online for convenience, though acknowledges risks (can’t try on, poor listing accuracy).

6. Does Thrifting Hurt Personal Style? (28:04–33:42)

• Hot Take from Fashion Expert: “Thrifting gives you the opportunity to make bad decisions at scale…Use it to supplement your wardrobe, not build it.”
  • “You don’t control the inventory. It eliminates your perspective on what’s out there to actually solve your problem.”
• Jill: “Yeah, my closet was just a hodgepodge… None of it really goes together. It derails a minimalist wardrobe… leads to clutter and wasted money.”
• Jen: Balances critique—thrifting brings unique style, but can also lead to settling or losing sight of what actually suits you.

7. Thrifting & Overconsumption (35:35–39:49)

• Thrifting-enabled overbuying: Social media hauls echo regular consumerism.
• Guest clip: Describes her “thrifting addiction” as a hobby, noting that “Depop and [other online] alternatives make you think more and sleep on purchases.”
• Jill: “It was much more a hobby, an activity...I was just collecting things because they were inexpensive and wasn’t putting much thought into the value.”
• Jen: "Anything in too high a quantity can be toxic.”

8. Thrifting with Intention: Striking the Middle Path (39:49–40:52)

• Recap: Thrifting remains “one of the first places” to shop, but must be paired with values-based, intentional spending.
• Jen: “It’s easy to judge people for buying new. There’s room for balance. Be frugal, be sustainable, and buy new and secondhand.”

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Jen (on haunted objects): “I will say, don’t buy anything braided in somebody else’s hair because it’s weird. And I don’t want you to be weird like that.” (13:40)
• Jill (on overconsumption): “It can just be this outlet for hoarding things that we don’t actually value, we’re not going to care for, we’re just going to end up throwing away.” (38:50)
• Jen (on learning values): “There is a cost to finding what you value. You have to spend money on things to find out you don’t like them...these costs are not wasted if they get you to more values-aligned spending." (34:55)
• Jill (on personal growth): “My new way, paired with having had my colors done, knowing what I’m missing in my minimalist wardrobe...has straight changed the game.” (31:00)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [03:06–04:41] — Challenging the blind “secondhand first” mantra
• [07:41–10:45] — Plus-size and fit limitations in thrift stores
• [11:53–12:31] — Risks of focusing on quantity over quality
• [12:34–19:32] — “Haunted” and pest-infested thrift finds (blender story)
• [21:00–27:21] — The significant time cost of in-person vs. online thrifting
• [28:12–33:42] — Does thrifting prevent finding your true style?
• [35:35–39:49] — Thrifting as another path to overconsumption
• [39:49–40:52] — Summary: Find the balanced, intentional path

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Lightning Round: Thrift Fails (45:04–49:17)

Both hosts share embarrassing or regrettable thrift purchases:

• Jen: “The sheer amount of clothing I’ve bought trying to be cool, edgy, indie...I just want to be comfortable.” (45:04)
• Jill: Remembers her sister’s regrettable thrifted maid of honor dress: “It was very towel-like...I probably bought it for $12, and... it did not look like wedding day attire.” (47:04–48:56)

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Final Takeaways & Wisdom

• No spending method is perfect—not even thrifting.
• Buy intentionally, whether secondhand or new. Let your needs and values—not the “deal"—lead.
• Acknowledge the downsides (fit, time, hidden costs, and consumption), but also that some experimentation (and even mistakes) is part of learning what you really value.

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Episode in a Sentence

Thrift shopping can be a frugal, sustainable choice—if you avoid the pitfalls of impulse, overconsumption, and lost personal style along the way.

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For more on intentional spending and value-aligned living, check out Jen and Jill’s book, "Buy What You Love Without Going Broke."

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Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.

Transcript

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[Jen]

Thrifting what no one tells you about thrift shopping.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity, and live a richer life. Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jen]

Welcome Frugal Friends. I'm Jen.

[Jill]

I'm Jill.

[Jen]

And as frugal people, we love thrifting.

[Jill]

And apparently so do influencers. I went a little crazy at the.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Thrift today, so let me show you what I got.

[Jen]

I spent five hours at Goodwill.

[Jill]

Let's do a haul. Someone needs to ban me from being.

[Jen]

Able to go thrifting.

[Jill]

I have no room for any more.

[Jen]

Clothes, but yeah, it's not my fault.

[Jill]

Here's everything I got at goodwill for $102.

[Jen]

Another ungodly goodwill haul.

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

I have a bunch of stuff here.

[Jen]

Let's get into it. I don't like. What is this?

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

It's just a scarecrow man and a tree. Looks like something out of Winnie the Pooh.

[Jen]

I love stuff like this.

[Jill]

I fear I may be the queen of thrift ink. I have everything I Need now I.

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

Have to show you what I've got.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Yeah.

[Jill]

$4.

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

I saw this.

[Jill]

It had just barely come out on.

[Jen]

The rack, and I snatched this so freaking fast, guys. The horse sweater, though I hear it is required in Montana to have one.

[Jill]

Horse sweater is actually everything. I'm not gonna lie.

[Jen]

Let us know in the comments if I am correct about you. If you live in Montana, you have to have a horse sweater. That's just what I've heard.

[Jill]

Yeah. So we've got a hot take, though, on thrifting, and we might be ruffling some feathers, even my own. I got a little bit ruffled just in creating this one.

[Jen]

I made this outline, and Jill read it, and she was like, I. I.

[Jill]

Have some pushback, and I do, and I still do.

[Jen]

Okay. Okay.

[Jill]

But I appreciate some of the other side and perspective that has been brought to thrifting and how thrifting actually might be costing us more than what we actually think. And to be re looking at some of our behaviors there.

[Jen]

Yeah. And I think it's reasonable. Even with good things, whether it be shopping, secondhand, sustainability, meal planning, all these good things we talk about. It's good to check in every once in a while to make sure is what I'm doing still good for me on, you know, the path to my goals, what I really want in life, and am I still doing it in the way that I want? And a lot of these influencers and videos that we found have kind of given us some motivation to. To why we should be rethinking how we shop secondhand, and hopefully you as well.

[Jill]

Yeah. I still think that secondhand. Buying secondhand first is the way to go. But it really caused me to think critically about am I letting the deal lead me, or am I actually identifying what I want, the thing that I want, and then looking for it? And so, yeah, yeah, we're excited to share this perspective.

[Jen]

But first, this episode is brought to you by all my black tank tops. I have three. I used to have four, but I bleached one to make it brown, and now I have three, and they're all secondhand. I will say this is kind of the one I'm wearing now. I don't count because it's not all black. It says frugal on it, and it's not secondhand because I had it made, but so it doesn't count. But they're all secondhand. I love them all. They all serve a different purpose, but they are all black. So why? Why? Because I get very overwhelmed at the thrift store. And I tend to stick to the colors that make me feel safe, I. E. Black. And that's how I've ended up with so many black tank tops over the years. And you know something else that can be overwhelming? It's black budgeting. And we don't want you to feel that way. So you end up with the same deprived budget every single month, thinking that's what healthy budgeting looks like. No. So we created our mobile optimize spending planner spreadsheet. It is the perfect amount of black tank top to red polka dot denim jacket. I think it is that radical middle between the two. And it's mobile optimized. So if whether you want to just track your money from your phone or you want a comprehensive annual budget, you can do it in this spreadsheet. There are tabs for monthly budgeting, financial picture at a glance, annual finance. There's even a calculator that will help you calculate opportunity cost of buying something. And that's fun to just kind of keep track of all the things that you add in there to see over the year how much money you've saved by choosing not to buy something. So that is very fun. And we have a discount for all of our friends watching on YouTube if you head to the description, even if you're not watching on YouTube and you just head to the description of the video, you can get a 30% off discount discount code and you can check it out straight there. Frugalfriendspodcast.com budget so we've got a couple.

[Jill]

Of reasons why thrifting might not be what you think that it is. And this is a hot take from the frugal friends.

[Jen]

We want to identify some of the it's not perfect, so some of the dark side or the unfortunate side so that we can get off our high horses. We never want to be on very high horses because it's dangerous.

[Jill]

I don't really want to be on a horse in general.

[Jen]

I think we should just get off horses.

[Jill]

Yeah, you can pet them, you can.

[Jen]

Be on a horse if you love them.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

But I think most of us should get off.

[Jill]

So the first reason is it can be really hard to actually find clothes in your size at in bestie.

[Plus Size Thrifter]

We are going thrifting as a plus size girly. Because every time I talk about ethical and sustainable fashion, I am told I just need to go thrifting.

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

And I think there is a very.

[Plus Size Thrifter]

Big disconnect between the experience advances of being straight sized and thrifting and being plus Size because it is bleak. This sweater is the first thing I found that I did end up getting. It was new with pegs and men's. And then I also found these brand new Stuart Reisman blue spike shoes. Like they have never been worn. They were the find of my life. I'm so excited about it. But those aren't clothes. These are clothes. This is what you're finding in the plus size women's thrift section. Like, what is that shirt?

[Jill]

Truly?

[Plus Size Thrifter]

Why do I think I'm gonna find a vest that I went back another day to a different thrift store. This dress was pretty cute. It was an extra large stretch fit, but was $35.

[Jen]

And here are the two pieces I.

[Plus Size Thrifter]

Found for my striped size best friend without even looking in her size range. So, yeah, that's thrifting as a plus size girl.

[Jen]

Yeah. And if you're not watching the video, she's probably about a size like 18 to 20, I would guess, but definitely not the average size that you would find at a thrift store.

[Jill]

Yeah. And according to data from Thredup, Poshmark, Goodwill, the most common sizes donated to the thrift store is 8 to 14. So that's the most donated. So if you're not in that range of sizing, you're not going to find what you're looking for. And even if you are, you still might not find the thing. Right. You could be looking specifically for a pair of jeans, and they have the brand and cut that you like, but it's still not in your sizing. And so that sometimes can then lead us to buying things even still, but they don't fit quite right. And we think, oh, maybe I'll tailor it or get it tailored and then that's going to be an extra cost. But then we never do. So then we don't wear it. So then it just sits in our closet. And so. And we're not just talking about, okay, don't ever do second hand, but specifically thrift stores in person. And I think that's where, you know, like, going online could be a really good alternative. And we'll talk about some of the solutions in the end.

[Jen]

Yeah, I think it's important that we understand this as people like, so I am in that, like 8 to 14. I'm squarely in there as my, like, average size. And I still have a hard time finding things that I like at a thrift store, which is why I have so many black tank tops. So it's hard even when there's a lot of things in Your size. I find that while the pickins in small and extra small are slim, that's where, like, the cuter stuff is. And so to have this end all be all of just buy everything secondhand is really a narrow side. Like, it's very narrow sided when we're giving advice about how to be frugal because we want people to look good and feel good. And sometimes you're just like, not going to find that secondhand.

[Jill]

Yeah, you can't always just chase the deal. And it's not just about the deal. It's also about sustainability. So again, it is good to look secondhand first. But it's worth recognizing that there can be downsides. You might not find what you're looking for in the timeframe you need it.

[Jen]

So then you have the okay, so then how do I find affordable clothing beyond that? Am I going fast fashion? And this is where we've really landed on the advice of if you want the thing, buy the thing. Because fast fashion isn't the answer either. And that's where we get affordable. But there was a lot of people that I was hearing who bought a lot of cheap, fast fashion stuff, spent maybe like a grand over a year. And then as they grew older and started buying like, more quality pieces, spent more outrageously more per piece, but ended up spending the same amount, but maybe got like five or six pieces.

[Jill]

Yeah. I am getting to be more and more all about spending the big money on the staples that are sustainably made from quality companies. Yeah. Not the fast fashion, but being really certain about what pieces do I want to complete my wardrobe and being willing to spend on the quality over quantity. And I think thrifting can lead to just a lot of quantity. And we might be able to justify it by the fact that, oh, I got it secondhand, but then not looking at our consumption and maybe like borderline hoarding behaviors that end up happening.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

But the other thing that is not not talked about when it comes to.

[Jen]

Thrifting, is that super important. I just want to, like, prepare. If you're not paying attention, come back to us. Because this one's so important.

[Jill]

Your finds could be haunted.

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

Here are more things you probably shouldn't buy. Disclaimer. Not all of these will be haunted, but there's a large chance that there is. And I'm not personally willing to take that risk, even though I'm pretty good at sensing out what's haunted, what's not. Not everybody is. I wouldn't risk it personally.

[Jill]

But you don't, do you?

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

Boo you do you. I don't care. But here's a warning. Any kind of jewelry that looks like this. So this is Victorian morning jewelry, and those braided things are hair. Not a chance, Jack. Another example of hair jewelry. This one's braided and encased in glass. You also won't catch me dead with anybody's signet ring. It's fine if it's a family heirloom, but I wouldn't get anybody else's. Those things are literally custom made for a person. A lot of energy there, and I don't want to mess with that. And lastly, vintage glasses. Super cool, super haunted. A person literally needed these to see. Very personal, very haunted.

[Jill]

Very personal, very haunted. I love that someone else needed these to see.

[Jen]

I don't know anything about things being haunted, but I will say, don't buy anything braided in somebody else's hair because it's weird. And I don't want you to be weird like that. You can be weird in a lot of ways, and I love that for you.

[Jill]

Yeah. Unless it's your own hair. Then that's just creative and fun and it's a good use of your own hair. Someone else's hair. Yeah. You just gotta draw the line somewhere.

[Jen]

Hair is where I draw the line. Even my own hair. I will say, yeah.

[Jill]

But not even having to do with, like, haunted things. So that's a little tongue in cheek.

[Jen]

It could be haunted by spin spirits, but it could also be haunted by bugs.

[Jill]

Yes. So that's a real thing. And you've got a story for that. You could come home with bugs.

[Jen]

I do. I. Okay. So, yeah, your stuff secondhand, whether it's from thrift store or Facebook Marketplace, could legitimately be haunted by some kind of pest. So we got a blender off of Facebook Marketplace from a home that seemed quite normal. It's not like we felt weird or dodgy where we were picking it up. But shortly after we brought it into our home, we had an infestation of German cockroaches. And we could not figure out, like, why, because we're not the cleanest people on earth, but we're definitely not like, German cockroach dirty.

[Jill]

Right.

[Jen]

And we realized when we. I took the blender and I, like, banged it on the counter, all of the, like, poop and stuff was coming out of there. And I was like, we brought these into our home, so we had to treat for it. We left the blender outside. We still have the blender. So, like, my advice is to just give it a couple bangs on the counter before you bring it home to make sure there's nothing living in there. Right.

[Jill]

Give it a good old, like, knock around.

[Jen]

Yeah. So there's things you can do. Like, there's a lot of things your secondhand finds can be haunted with from thrift stores. So there's bedbugs, lice, mold, mildew. There are some people on social media that go out and they test plates and other things for lead paint. That's like a whole section on social media. There is even faulty wiring that has led to fires in thrift stores. How wild is that?

[Jill]

Yeah. Again, not a reason to totally not do it. But I think that we need to recognize that secondhand isn't always all rainbows and butterflies and good deals. There are some perils that can come with it, honestly, every time. One of my favorite types of thrift stores are the bin stores, the outlet thrift. And I know that's next level.

[Jen]

Oh, I love it too.

[Jill]

Literally going in and digging and then paying by the pound. Some of these places will have scales for the entire shopping cart. You just wheel your shopping cart onto it. It's adjusted for the weight of the carts. You're only paying for what's inside of it. And I love it because I'm not gonna lie, the thrill of the hunt is a big deal for me. And more is more thrift. It scratches that itch. However, I also do get itchy every time I go. I. I have to be prepared. Like, I will think about what I'm wearing when I go because I don't. It needs to be something. I do plan to wash soon because I'm probably going to get hair, dog hair dander, who knows on me dust. And I always carry a tissue with me because about 20 minutes in I start.

[Jen]

I always take a Claritin before I start thrifting. I have to. Or by the end I will be just a goner.

[Jill]

It is wild to say these things.

[Jen]

Out loud, but people need to know. I mean, we need to know. Sometimes I feel like we are so as frugal people. We are like just out of touch on some things. And it is good to be brought back down to know how weird we are again. Being weird is so good. But like, don't wear somebody else's hair like that. Don't be like that. There is even one video I found that a girl was like putting on a sweater and she was just doing like a little camera, like try on pose. And then she puts her hand in the pocket and she like freaks out and she like puts her hand back in and pulls out a cough drop. But she initially thought it was a cockroach, which understandably.

[Jill]

So, like, you never know what's going.

[Jen]

To be in there. You don't know.

[Jill]

You hope it's money, but usually it's just cough drops.

[Jen]

Right? So check the purses because it could be money, but it's usually cough drops. And just plan for it. Like keep the stuff outside if you need to for like a day or two. Or when you're taking out clothes, put them on the floor and right into the washing machine. And like, if you're not doing washing immediately, like close that thing up. Make sure nothing can get out. Know if there are bugs. Just be wise when you go thrifting. Cause it's rare, but it only takes one time to like traumatize you, honestly.

[Jill]

To have German cockroaches.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

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[Jen]

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[Jen]

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[Jill]

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[Jill]

The third reason thing we need to talk about here is that there is a significant time cost, specifically when it comes to going in person to some of these thrift store secondhand spots that we can just eat up. A lot of our day.

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

These are three reasons I stopped thrifting in stores. Don't get me wrong, I love a good thrift store. But there are some things that have made me really start to like online thrifting better. Number one is that it's hard to find exactly what I'm looking for. Items are not always organized by size, color or style, whereas online I can use filters to narrow down exactly what I'm looking for. Reason number two is the sheer amount of time that it takes to really go through a thrift store. It's awesome to see that so many items are donated, but most people don't have the time or the desire to sift through items in a thrift store. And lastly, the biggest advantage to shopping online versus in store is just the convenience of it. You can shop whenever and wherever you want. What are your thoughts? Do you prefer to shop in store or online?

[Jill]

Again, for me, that's what I like about it. And I think for any of our friends who impulse spending has to do with the thrill of the hunt, this is a decent outlet for that. I will still say we need to have in mind what we're looking for and not just be led by the low prices. But I like digging through. I like being able to find something unique. And it can kind of be a little bit of an activity for me when I have a specific thing in mind that I'm looking for. And this is where I we've talked about it before, but having our colors done. And for me now having gone through a personal style theory, I am able to whip through the racks so much faster at a regular store or a thrift store to know. Nope, not that color, not that color, not that cut, not that fabric. And so that really cuts down time. Even if the thrift store isn't that well organized, I will also poke a hole in the hole. You'll spend less time online because that can be an entire time suck. Even though you're able to look for your specific size, your specific thing, you could then spend ad infinitum amount of time looking at the Internet, get dragged into a whole rabbit hole, end up impulse spending because it is so easy and accessible. So there's downsides to both.

[Jen]

Did you say ad infinitum?

[Jill]

Yeah. Is that a wow. Is that a thing?

[Jen]

I don't know. It just blew me away.

[Jill]

The dome.

[Jen]

I mean, I agree, like you can spend ad infinitum.

[Jill]

I took Latin in high school, so.

[Jen]

Yeah, I do agree on that. But I am with her on How I am not. I do not like the hunt in a thrift store. That is not me. Again, I have to take a Claritin before I go in. I usually have a kid with me who is like just not about it. And so for me it's hard to hunt. It's hard to enjoy going through everything. If I find something I like and it's not my size, I can't just grab the other size. And if it isn't my size, I typically don't like the style. That's a problem for me. Like I don't love a lot of the styles. Yeah, I don't know. I have not had a style inventory done.

[Jill]

I recommend it.

[Jen]

I had my colors done and I'm wearing approximately zero of them currently. But I does having the colors done does help speed up the process. I. I do prefer to shop online, but you can get into that. Like I have a thing that I want and I just obsessively look for it. And so again this is where the. If there is something you want, don't buy the dupe. Don't even buy a secondhand dupe if you know you truly want it, it's good quality and you're going to use it for at least five years. This isn't like a trend. Then just get the thing.

[Jill]

But you could get that exact thing having been pre owned. So with things like Benny but like.

[Jen]

A good quality pre owned, not just like the cheapest but like let's say.

[Jill]

For example you want this specific Patagonia pullover. You can go on Patagonia's website with the Benny browser extension installed and it will pop up and tell you if that exact thing or maybe something similar is available on one of these secondhand sites. So it still is worth knowing. Could I get this thing? Because if it's good quality then it will continue to last. But also know that we can buy guilt free from some of these more ethical brands who might cost more.

[Jen]

I did see a video and I don't think I included it but maybe I will pop it in on mute. But this girl bought this blue coat secondhand and it was a little sun faded, a little dirty. She took it to the dry cleaner and the dry cleaner basically said we can clean it but we can't color correct it. It's a blue leather coat, really great quality. And she found the coat because she found it initially for like $200 still secondhand but she didn't want to spend $200 on it. So when she found it cheaper she Bought that one, but then that one wasn't salvageable. She ended up buying the other one anyway because it's what she really wanted. So just because you. I mean, it doesn't have to be brand new. But again, she paid more. She spent more on the cleaning and the cheap coat that, you know, actually couldn't be worn and then still ended up getting the one that she wanted originally.

[Jill]

Yeah. Yeah, that can be.

[Jen]

So, yeah, I think there's a. There's a time cost to shopping in store. There's also a time cost to doing it online, and you just have to choose which one fits you. I'm much more of an online shopper, but I've also been burned by Poshmark getting, like, poorer quality than what was promised in the listing. You can't return it, and you can't return it. You can't try it on.

[Jill]

So that's what scares me about stocking secondhand online.

[Jen]

So that's when overall, that is like the time cost. You don't get that back, and you still aren't insured that what you really want is gonna be what you truly wanted. So it just gives pause. It's not a reason to not thrift, but it does give pause to make sure, like, okay, maybe we're not thrifting every piece on our body, but the safer pieces, like coats or shoes or something like that, and then maybe saving for in store these more, I don't know, touchy, more temperamental sizing pieces. Yeah.

[Jill]

The fourth thing Lesser talked about when it comes to thrifting is that it could actually hinder your personal style.

[Jen]

I found this one felt like a hot take.

[Jill]

Yes.

[Jen]

And I. I was. I was really convicted by it.

[Fashion Industry Expert]

Millennial woman looking to start your wardrobe from scratch. Here's the biggest thing I would tell you. Stop thrifting. As someone who's been working in the fashion industry for 10 years, I will tell you thrifting is one of the worst enemies to creating your own personal style, because it gives you the opportunity to make bad decisions at scale, to not solve the problem. Everything should only be done as a way to supplement your already essential wardrobe, as opposed to using it to create one, which creates another problem. You don't have the ability to control the inventory that you're being presented with in real time. It eliminates your entire perspective on the opportunities that are out there to actually solve your problem. Instead of aimlessly thrifting and buying these clothes that are just going to sit in your closet for years and years to come, I need you. To understand something that we're going to be talking about on this page, you need to identify what is it that you are feeling or what are you experiencing in your wardrobe that is causing this problem and try to find the solution to it.

[Jill]

That last question is really gold.

[Jen]

Yeah, I. So when I first saw it, I was like, I don't agree, because it's just giving you a different set of designs to choose from. So you either choose from the limited number of designs you have available to you from a quality designer, or you choose secondhand. Right. But yes, it was that last question. That last one really got me.

[Jill]

To me, this feels like the difference between going to a grocery store with a plan and allowing the grocery store to tell you what to buy. Right. And sometimes I like those trips. Sometimes I'm gonna go to Trader Joe's and just be like, show me. Tell me, Joe, what to put into my cart. And because thrift stores are so inexpensive, that has been a strategy for me in the past. But I think that would be where I push back on this video, even though overarchingly, like I like, the take of it is that you can also approach the thrift store with different motives, but just going there with a, let me just see what the prices and the racks have to say, because I can afford it, because I got $20 in my pocket. And then what I end up with is this hodgepodge of a closet with. And how has me at 35, being like, I don't even know how to dress myself anymore. I just got whatever hand me down. Somebody wanted to give me whatever felt good in the moment. Really, it was just an impulse purchase from the thrift store. None of it really goes together. And it really derails a minimalist wardrobe. It derails me being able to find items that I feel really confident in that are gonna last a long time. It leads to me spending more money, as you said earlier, over time, to kind of fix some of these problems. It leads to a cluttered closet of things that don't quite fit me.

[Jen]

Right.

[Jill]

May have holes in them, might have stains. And so that. That I agree with. Like, oh, my gosh. Yeah, no, I need to push back against that kind of strategy and approach. However, my new way that is paired with having had my colors done, knowing what kind of lines I'm looking for, what I'm missing in my minimalist wardrobe, which is what he's recommending, has straight changed the game. So I still want to shop secondhand as much as possible, but also from sustainable brands. And I feel far more equipped to know what is going to serve me rather than just like chasing the low ticket prices.

[Jen]

Yeah. I have been thinking about this for a while now, about how our style, between our clothes, our homes, everything is so homogenized by social media and how thrifting does give us the opportunity for uniqueness.

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

But it can also cause us to settle for circumstantial. So there is this pro and con. I would love to know your thoughts in the comments of how thrifting has either enhanced or limited your personal style. Do you agree, disagree, Like, I would love for us to kind of like weigh the pros and cons together in the comment section about how there is one way that, yes, thrifting can be detrimental for our personal style. And not because we have to have a certain style. Not that it's necessity necessary, but we feel good in certain things. And I think that's your personal style, the things that you feel great in. And so how social media can homogenize it so we all look the same, but thrifting can also hinder it.

[Jill]

But I also think that this would be if we're not looking at perfection versus, you know, straight failure, but a radical middle. I think the reason a lot of people will go to even fast fashion is it's affordability, certainly, which thrifting has that same thing, but also to be able to get to try different things, to really hone in on what you want. And so if that's what's happening for somebody in a certain season of life, then 100%, I'm going to say fine, do the thrift store thing. Figure it out to kind of eventually get you to a point where you can narrow it down rather than purchasing from these stores that are, you know, using unethical practices and that kind of a thing. So there is still a radical middle with it.

[Jen]

Yeah, we do have to be intentional about it because we're not gonna fall into personal style. It is an intentional thing. I haven't fallen into it yet, but.

[Jill]

For instance, not with clothing. But a recent holiday, I was getting gifts for Eric. He wanted a foot massager. And I knew that. I knew that whatever foot massager he gets, it's going to inform him on what he's actually looking for in the foot massager. So for me, rather than spending $220 on something may or may not be able to return it, or, you know, put. Put the stressors of delivery on the environment and on myself, I was like, I'm gonna first Just get one off of Facebook Marketplace because it will at least be a foot massager, it will be secondhand and he will then be able to know after having that, do you like it or does this help you to know what you want out of the actual one you end up landing on? And I don't really regret that strategy because it helped us get there without spending a ton of money on the thing.

[Jen]

Yeah, well, there is something people don't think about is there is a cost to finding what you value. We talk a lot about spend on what you value and don't spend on what you don't. But you don't just come up with what you value. You do have to spend money on things to find out you don't like them or to find out that you do like them. There is a cost. So these costs on something you may not like are not wasted, but if they are viewed not as a, oh well, this is just what I have to spend. This is how I have to spend. No, this is a cost in order to get to a more values aligned spending habit.

[Jill]

So true. So the fifth and final thing Lesser talked about, we've touched on it a bit is that thrifting can just be another outlet for overconsumption.

[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Environment is going to hate what I'm about to say, but one of the best things I've done recently that's also been saving me money is that I stopped thrifting. I used to be so addicted to thrifting, especially, especially when I lived in la. It was so bad. I was going to like one to two flea markets a week whenever I had free time. Whenever I was bored I would walk and go to all of the secondhand shops. And there's a lot in la. It was just my hobby. Like I loved looking through the thrift stores. I loved like finding good stuff and you get this like thrifting brainwash that happens that like when you're in a thrift store and you find something that's vintage or a good brand at a low price, you're like, oh, that's such a good find. Like that's, that's such a good steal. Like I have to get that like versus like if I go to Aritzia or something and I buy a cardigan for $90 it I really had to have loved that cardigan for me to buy it and then I end up wearing it all the time. I still love thrifting. I would say like majority of my closet is secondhand but I feel like Depop especially For me and Poshmark and all the other ones are just a healthier alternative because you're thinking about it more. You're really like sleeping on it. Like, for example, right now I'm looking for a polka dot jacket. I really want a polka dot jacket. And if I would be in my thrifting era right now, once I was at a flea market, I saw a polka dot jacket, I'd probably buy the first one I saw. And then it would probably be like ugly and has rips in it and smells and I would never wear it. Versus on Depop, if I search up like polka dot jacket, I'm looking through so many options. I have like a few in my cart. I'm comparing them, I'm putting offers on them even. And like, I'm thinking about it and I'll be like, actually, I don't really like this and I'll take it out of my cart. It's just a better alternative.

[Jill]

And this is the point in the episode where personally I feel more bought into the title of this episode. Like by this point in my own preparation for this, I'm like, I resonate with her so much. And I actually talk about this in our book, Buy what yout Love Without Going Broke. You can get [e-mail] I share about this very experience for myself. Before we lived in a tiny home, we used to live in a trailer. 170 square feet. My activity beforehand was thrifting yard sales, garage sales, estate sales. And again, I still love it. But I had to drastically change my behaviors. Like what she was saying. It was much more a hobby, an activity, something that I did. I was still spending money on, albeit not a ton of money, but I was just collecting things because they were inexpensive and wasn't putting much thought into what value or benefit is it going to bring to me. And had to really reorient myself when it came to tiny living that anything I buy I have to bring in and I have to have a place for it. And I just didn't have a place for it. And you know, that like kind of tied my hands. Whereas she's kind of just gone through her own process without cutting herself at the knees. But that thought of it can just be this outlet for hoarding things that we don't actually value, we're not gonna care for, we're just gonna end up throwing away.

[Jen]

Yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I think with all the hauls, I think this is a way that frugal people or people of limited means can participate in some of the same over consumption culture that we see on social media. And we just have to be very conscious about how we're consuming. Yes, it's more ethical, it's more sustainable, but it still takes up space in our minds, in our closet. Because every day when we're presented with too many choices, it becomes harder and harder to choose our daily outfit and we are, you know, going back to the same black tank tops every day. So I, I really do love thrifting. I really do love shopping secondhand. But anything in too high a quantity can be toxic.

[Jill]

And that essentially is our wrap up that again, shopping secondhand is still a great way to go. We think one of the first places that we should look when shopping. But to recognize that it does still have drawbacks to it and to measure ourselves in the way that we engage with secondhand, that it doesn't mean, oh, no holds barred, like all the rules are out the window. Forget about everything you learned about impulse spending or values based spending. No, those things still matter, even when it comes to buying secondhand.

[Jen]

Yeah. And it's not a place where we can again be on our high horses and shame people when they are buying new. I think it's very easy to do, especially on social media or people in our lives that we love. We can be judgmental of and knowing that there is room for balance on both. We can be frugal people, we can be sustainably minded and buy both new and secondhand clothing.

[Jill]

Mm. And you know what else is just some wisdom dropped?

[Jen]

Yeah. That you might actually, if you want to place judgment, place judgment on your friends that don't submit a bill of the week.

[Sleep Number Announcer]

That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck bills, Buffalo bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.

[Plus Size Thrifter]

Hi, Jen and Jill. This is Sonia in Westchester County, New York. My bill of the week is the dog groomer. I was raised to believe that you should do anything that you could do yourself and not pay somebody else to do it, no matter how much agony, misery, time spent, and general disarray it caused your life. Turns out this is not the case. I hate washing my dog. My dog hates washing my dog. Nobody has a good time and my bathroom is trashed and I save not that much money, so I bit the bullet and I've been taking My dog to the groomer every other month, and we are both much, much happier for it. It turns out that it is okay to pay somebody to do something, even if you can do it yourself. So that's my bill of the week, and my dog and I say, woof.

[Jen]

Thank you.

[Plus Size Thrifter]

We love your podcast.

[Jen]

Ah, yes, Sonia, amen. First, I got a dog in February after saying I would never get a dog, and it was inherited.

[Jill]

Never say never.

[Jen]

Never say never. But I inherited a dog in February. And yes, we tried to give her a bath at first. We were never gonna cut her. She's. She's all black. She's a poodle and her nails are black. Her fur is black. Her skin might be black. I don't know. But I was just never going to do that because I'm like, I'm gonna just cut her nails. If you cut the wrong way in the nails, they just start bleeding. And I was like, you can't tell, like, how far back you're going. It's all, like, one color. So, yeah, we took her to the groomer. Shout out to petsmart. What an affordable place.

[Jill]

Not sponsored.

[Jen]

Not sponsored. But I started taking Ellie to petsmart, and they're so great there.

[Jill]

But do you remember when you did say you were gonna learn how to groom?

[Jen]

Absolutely.

[Jill]

Because poodles need to be groomed regularly.

[Jen]

Yeah, absolutely. Yeah. That was a mistake.

[Jill]

And that's the thing. I couldn't agree more with thinking that we need to do everything ourselves just because it would be the less expensive way. No, no, not this brand of frugality. We say that we can spend on what we value. We can say no in other areas, so we can say emphatic yeses in the areas that matter and count. And it sounds like this is the case for you. It's an extreme inconvenience. Take it off your plate. And to only have to go every other month. That's not bad.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

And six times a year. Done.

[Jen]

Yeah. And, I mean, Lucas at Pet Smart had such a great time shaving Ellie all the way down to this.

[Jill]

No way. You did?

[Jen]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Jill]

I haven't seen her since then.

[Jen]

Ellie. Yeah. Jill has not seen Ellie in a while.

[Jill]

You're making it sound like I've never. I've never hung out with you before since getting your dog, but maybe it's been less.

[Jen]

Yeah. Since February.

[Jill]

Well, if you have a bill that you want to submit, if it has to do with paying for someone else to do the dirty work that you don't want to do, if it has to do with what it's like to be Bill. If you have a dog named Bill, oh, how fun would that be? Frugalfriendspodcast.com Bill. Or if you're watching us on YouTube, click that link in the bio. And while you're there, hit the subscribe button. And now it's time for the lightning round.

[Jen]

Okay, what is your biggest thrift, fail or regret? And I think mine is just the sheer number. Like, sheer amount of clothing I've bought over the years where I am trying to be cool, like edgy or indie or somebody of intense style. I think there are. Style is a spectrum. And some people have a lot of style, and I don't. And I've tried to be those people before. And I've just bought so many things secondhand, trying to be unique in a way that I don't actually want to be unique. I want to be comfortable.

[Jill]

How are you describing the style you're going for lately? I forget you used a term recently. This is good. I like it. Comfortable.

[Jen]

Yeah, comfortable. I basically live in leggings just like every other mom on social media. Yeah, I am one of them. Yeah. And in Florida, it's summer. I live in a sports bra because I get so sweaty every day. You can't wear a regular bra. No, you know, I'm sorry.

[Jill]

Don't even bother.

[Jen]

Sorry about that. If it's too much information.

[Jill]

No, I'd say it's not enough info. I want you to elaborate.

[Additional Speaker or Guest]

No, I don't.

[Jill]

No, I don't. Never mind. I take it back. For me, this just. I was just remembering this. My sister's maid of honor dress.

[Jen]

Okay, I'm sorry. So first you have the wedding dress debacle, which you did talk about on a recent episode.

[Jill]

Yeah, we don't need to revisit that.

[Jen]

So go back into the last. I. It was probably in the last couple weeks.

[Jill]

Just go back and listen to everything. Nbd. Just enter the wedding dress story.

[Jen]

But now the maid of honor dress.

[Jill]

Yeah, listen, I was very young when I got married, and alongside that, very broke. And. And then we had a very short engagement. It was all extreme. Okay. And my sister needed a maid of honor dress, but we didn't. I didn't have a bridal party. It was only her. So I didn't need matching dresses to be bought from a certain shop. It was kind of just, well, what do I put my sister in? And we were running out of time, and I'm like, well, let's just go to the thrift. Store and let the thrift store tell us. And that's where it went wrong. I found this gray strapless J. Crew dress, which seemed at the time, like, oh, yeah, a great brand. And that's a. That's a good color. This works. But it was strapless and short. And my sister in these pictures just, you know, I am going to refrain from using some of the words I could use and just say it did not look classy. It did not look like wedding day attire. And I look back and I feel so badly that, like, I kind of chose that dress. Like, I went, I bought it probably for, like, $12. And I'm like, here, do this. It's your size. And I found it at the thrift store.

[Jen]

She puts it on like she's going to a nightclub.

[Jill]

She was fine with it. I don't know. I'll have to ask her, like, how did she feel about it at the time? Not like, I felt so good in that dress.

[Jen]

Still wear it?

[Jill]

Yeah, it was. It was very towel. Like, it looked like, you know, she's just. It covered the amount that a towel would cover.

[Jen]

I did not know this story.

[Jill]

Yeah. I've probably not talked about it before. It just came to mind. Sweet regret that.

[Jen]

I know. Poor girl.

[Jill]

I just went. I went like the sheep.

[Jen]

Yeah, she's not towel dress girl.

[Jill]

No, she's not.

[Jen]

I couldn't imagine her clubbing.

[Jill]

I'll have to show you pictures.

[Jen]

Poor Jeff. Oh, my gosh. That's amazing.

[Jill]

Yeah. Well, if you want to hear about other unhinged ways that people save money, we've got this. This video that might be the episode.

[Jen]

Yeah. Yeah. Yes. No. Thank you so much for listening, guys. We love reading your kind reviews and your comments on the YouTube channel. Every subscribe and every comment, every, like, on every video really does help us spread this message far and wide that we're trying to save money, but not at the sacrifice of the relationships with our friends and ethical consumption of products. So we love reading what you guys have to say, especially if it's on our book, which is the only new product you should ever buy new, ever, and definitely don't get it from your library or used. Don't do that.

[Jill]

Don't do that.

[Jen]

We will not tell you how to request it at your library. If you go to buywhatyoulovebook.com the instructions are for sure not right on the page, but we love everyone who has read the book, and it seems like you guys have loved it too. Like this one from Haley, who has given it five stars and says, I've spent a lot of time reading various personal finance books and I have to say this is hands down my favorite book. It's so well done and it's evident how much time the authors spent on it. I don't just mean the time it took them to write, but rather the years of experience experience they collectively have between their own personal finance journeys and others they've learned from. I appreciate the holistic approach they take. It's not just another personal finance book giving you 10 tips on how to be better with money. It ties in psychology and research with real life experiences and stories. I can't recommend this book enough. If you're looking for ways to live your life in alignment with your values and simultaneously make sure your spending is also values based on, then this book is for you. The outcome is quite literally to help you learn to buy what you love without going broke. Kudos on the title choice.

[Jill]

We are still obsessed with the title choice.

[Jen]

Thank you. Yes.

[Jill]

That was a very generous review. Thank you. And if you have kind words to say about this book, please do leave us a review. And if you have kind things to say about the podcast about the YouTube channel, please comment. Leave reviews subscribe to the YouTube channel. Even if you're listening to us auditorily on the podcast, we you with the words today. It would really help us.

[Jen]

Yeah. If you love the show, we're Frugal Friends. If you don't love the show, we're how to Money. We'll see you next time. Love you guys. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.

[Jill]

That's amazing. We do actually love the dudes over how to Money.

[Jen]

We we love Joel and Matt and we'll get to see them soon at fincon hopefully.

[Jill]

Yeah. This comes out. Oh this comes out just a. Just a smidge before my birthday.

[Jen]

Oh. Oh my gosh.

[Jill]

Happy birthday to me.

[Jen]

I'm super smidgen before your birthday.

[Jill]

No. August 21st. I officially become middle aged.

[Jen]

You are.

[Jill]

I am currently middle aged, but I'm like I'm closer to 40 than I am to 30 now.

[Jen]

I wouldn't say you're middle aged, but mid 30s. I don't think we are middle aged yet. And I have because I'm already 36.

[Jill]

It feels like it.

[Jen]

I'm gonna have to say no.

[Jill]

Okay. What is middle age then? 40s?

[Jen]

I would say 40 to 50.

[Jill]

Okay.

[Jen]

Yeah. Is middle. So you.

[Jill]

Oh. See you.

[Jen]

I know we still have our youth. Yeah, I know our youth.

[Jill]

It is slipping away like sand between my fingertips.

[Jen]

Yeah, but we do have to be strength training because social media says that our muscles are literally disintegrating underneath us.

[Jill]

Social loves to make me so scared I am mostly afraid. I am scrolling.

[Jen]

I am mostly afraid all the time.

[Jill]

Anxious about not doing enough and then.

[Jen]

Anxious about doing too much.

[Jill]

Isn't that the truth about it?

[Jen]

Well, until next time.

[Jill]

Bye.

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[Guest or Additional Speaker]

Thanks.

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[Jen]

Minutes to run club meets and it's time for a quick pre workout snack. Go Go Squeeze Active Fruit Blend to the rescue. Made with Celestial like B vitamins to help release energy, it's an easy squeezable pouch made to move with me. The taste so good and made with real fruit. Even better. Whether I'm hitting the trail or meeting my friends on the court, this is my go to on the go snack. Quick, easy, ready when I am. When it's go time, I go with Gogo Squeeze Active. Snag yours on your next store run. Search for Gogo Squeeze on Amazon.