The Self-Care Industry Is Making Us Broke

Summary

Frugal Friends Podcast: The Self-Care Industry Is Making Us Broke

Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Date: May 1, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this lively episode, Jen and Jill tackle the booming, often overwhelming self-care industry and its surprising impact on our wallets and well-being. Through candid discussion, sharp critiques of viral trends, and plenty of humor, they expose how modern self-care—especially as portrayed on social media—has shifted from a tool for true well-being to a marketing juggernaut pushing over-consumption, impossible routines, and impulse purchases. The hosts offer a refreshing, grounded perspective on what real self-care looks like and practical advice for practicing it without breaking the bank.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Absurdity of Mainstream “Self-Care” Trends

Timestamps: [01:11]–[05:52], [11:10]–[14:35]

• Jen and Jill play and dissect viral “self-care” video clips, notably one recommending an hour and a half of daily walking plus 30 minutes of strength training, clean eating, and “15,000 steps per day.”

  • Jen (sarcastically): “You just have to…just an hour and a half every morning at the gym plus 30 minutes of strength training...and you’re going to be, most importantly, hot.” [03:10]
  • Jill: “It’s so crazy though, because self care is actually supposed to not exhaust you...”

• They highlight the rise of the “everything shower” trend—a marathon of beauty products and elaborate routines that make self-care seem like an endless to-do.

  • Jill: “We think the more we do the better the results…But then we associate self care with taking a lot of time, and if we don’t have the time...it can put a really big barrier in place.” [14:02]

• Underlying theme: Complicated self-care rituals, promoted online, signal that we must spend more time and money for results, fueling unrealistic standards.

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2. The Commodification and Marketing of Self-Care

Timestamps: [10:04], [14:35]–[16:37]

• Self-care has become synonymous with consumption. Jill and Jen point out that influencers and brands increasingly sell products as “essential” for self-care.
  • Jen: “People who are normalizing that kind of rhetoric are playing into the over-consumption piece of it.”
• Even simple acts of self-care (a peaceful shower or waxing) end up feeling like chores under the pressure of social media expectations.

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3. Retail Therapy: The “Pick-Me-Up” Trap

Timestamps: [19:30]–[23:42]

• They examine the cycle of using shopping as self-care—citing videos where buying makeup, clothes, or even small trinkets is framed as emotional revitalization.
  • Retail Therapy Commentator: “Retail therapy stops working at some point…instead of making you feel better, it makes you feel worse because now you’re like, I know I didn’t need this.”
• Jill warns that retail therapy can create habits and coping mechanisms that drain finances and clutter homes.
  • Jill: “It didn’t actually hit the mark. It wasn’t actually self care, it was self-sabotage. And now we’re back in this cycle…”

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4. Rethinking What Self-Care Actually Means

Timestamps: [08:29]–[10:04], [24:27]–[27:45]

• Jill’s concise definition: “Self care is self…that. It starts with that foundation of knowing who you are, what makes you tick, what works when you feel in a funk…It must be rooted in a good understanding of who we are and what we need.”
• They advocate a holistic, personalized approach that considers emotional, mental, physical, relational, and financial health—not just aesthetics or trend-following.
• The “basics” matter most (hydration, sleep, movement, setting boundaries, etc.)
  • Wellness Advocate Clip: “Wellness looks very different when you’re broke…it’s silence in the morning, meditation…going to bed earlier, drinking more water…Maybe we just need to be.” [24:08]

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5. Using Maslow’s Hierarchy of Needs as a Self-Care Filter

Timestamps: [25:30]–[31:07]

• The hosts introduce Maslow’s hierarchy as a framework for identifying unmet needs instead of reflexively spending:
  • Jen: “Every purchase we make fulfills some kind of need… If you can understand this hierarchy, you can make much more informed decisions about the purchases that you’re making, what the insecurity or gap is behind them, and then figure out what you can actually do to solve the root of the problem instead of spending money.”
• Examples: If you lack sleep or hydration (physiological needs), fix those rather than “treat” the problem with a shopping spree.
• Self-actualization is often misunderstood; many use shopping or “creative” shower routines to try to meet this need for fulfillment, but there are better, cheaper alternatives.

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6. Practical, Low/No-Cost Self-Care Alternatives

Timestamps: [31:07]–[34:12], Lightning Round [41:22]–[44:44]

• Move your body in ways that feel good (walk, stretch, nap).
• Tend to safety and stability through financial decisions (save money, pay debt).
• Connect with friends or supportive communities.
• Engage in esteem-boosting activities (learn, create, organize).
• Practice creativity at home, e.g., redecorate, try new recipes, rearrange furniture.
• Hosts and listeners share their own self-care wins, like dark chocolate, a regular sleep schedule, or walks outdoors.
  • Jen: “Steps have been like more integral in my life…I take a 20-minute walk in the morning…that sets me up for a good day.” [41:49]

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7. Frugal Wins: “Bill of the Week”

Timestamps: [34:27]–[38:44]

• Listener Liza bought popular brand-name lip gloss for her daughter by snagging new, discounted items on Poshmark, using the “Make an Offer” feature for even deeper savings.
  • Jill: “Either buy the name brand lip gloss now or pay $200 an hour for their [therapy] later…”
• Emphasis: Self-care (and parenting) doesn’t require paying premium prices—savvy shopping is empowering and budget-friendly.

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Notable Quotes and Moments

• Jill (on retail therapy): “It didn’t actually hit the mark. It didn’t actually resolve whatever I was dealing with. It wasn’t actually self care, it was self sabotage.” [22:22]
• Jen (on why we overspend on self-care): “When you haven’t defined self care and figured out what it looks for you, then people on the Internet can sell you.” [10:04]
• Jill (on over-complicated routines): “We make things more complex because we associate things that we don’t understand with being of higher intelligence when really it’s this complexity that leads to everything showers and just…everything.” [13:25]
• Wellness Advocate Clip: “Wellness isn’t matcha lattes and pilates studios…Maybe we just need to be. If you have breath you have life, and that’s one of the wealthiest things you can have.” [24:15]

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Timestamps for Essential Segments

• [01:11] Satirical breakdown of “hot-girl” self-care routines
• [10:04] The commodification of self-care, why people fall for it
• [11:10] “Everything shower” and product overload critique
• [19:30] Retail therapy as a false solution
• [24:27] Back to basics—true affordable self-care
• [25:30] Using Maslow’s Hierarchy for better self-care decisions
• [31:07] Practical alternatives to spending in the name of self-care
• [34:27] “Bill of the Week”—frugal parenting win
• [41:22] Lightning Round: Hosts’ favorite mindful self-care habits

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Tone & Language

• Conversational, witty, and self-aware.
• Honest about their own struggles and wins (“I don’t know if I care about myself or hate myself, so I’m running a marathon.” [04:34])
• Empathetic, validating listeners’ experiences and encouraging a nonjudgmental approach.
• Directly challenge the industry’s messaging and call out monetary motivations behind self-care trends.

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Final Takeaways

• Self-care is foundational and personal—it shouldn’t cost a fortune, become a chore, or create more stress.
• Don’t let social media, marketers, or influencers tell you what you need: define your own needs and ways to care for yourself.
• Check your motivations before spending in the name of self-care; make sure it truly serves you, not just your momentary mood.
• Simple, mindful alternatives work—and often work better—for long-term well-being and financial health.

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Want more? Subscribe to Frugal Friends for more down-to-earth, practical wisdom on saving money, spending with intention, and creating genuine, sustainable well-being.

Transcript

[Asana AI Narrator]

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[Jen]

The self care industry is making us broke.

[Podcast Host Intro]

Welcome to the Frugal Friends Podcast where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity and live a richer life. Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jen]

I love the soft life. Welcome Frugal friends. I'm Jen. I'm Jill and we too love the soft life. But we're tired so welcome to they

[Jill]

say they do self care but what the does that mean? Cause I don't have a clue what actually makes me feel good. How to revive yourself when you are a tired goblin who simply cannot.

[Jen]

And because we're so tired, we're just going to skip today's episode and we have found a video that has a simple three step routine for your self care.

[Self Care Video Coach]

If you start now, it's March 2nd. By June you will be snatched. Glowing and most importantly, hot walking. I'm talking minimum 15,000 steps a day strength training. However that might look for you. I like a Pilates strength training combo, but like I said, whatever works for you. High protein, high fat, quality food. That means staying away from things that are ultra processed. So just keep it as clean as possible. Lots of water, gulp away all day. The more hydrated you are, the more glowy you will look. Don't over complicate this. I'm talking an hour walk paired with 20 to 30 minutes of resistance training. Every morning I go to the gym and I walk for around an hour and a half. That usually gets me to six miles, but like I said, you could just walk for an hour. That's four miles and then keep your actual workout around 30 minutes. What you put in is what you're going to get back in return. So if you're just kind of doing the bare minimum, then you're probably not going to see the most amazing results ever. So like I said, three months from now is June, AKA summer. Which is perfect timing because you're not only going to look amazing, but you're

[Jill]

going to feel so tired. You're going to feel so tired.

[Jen]

Oh my God, Okay.

[Jill]

I was taking so many things.

[Jen]

You just have to just an hour and a half every morning at the

[Jill]

gym plus 30 minutes of strength training

[Jen]

and you're going to not just feel good, you're going to be most importantly hot.

[Jill]

So that is most important. I mean honestly, if you wake up at 2am, yes, you do an hour and a half of walking, you do 30 minutes of strength training, you cook yourself combo, right? Then you do a high protein diet and then you drink all of the water. By summer you'll be hot.

[Jen]

Most importantly hot doctor. But you will be so hot.

[Jill]

Oh my gosh. It's so crazy though, because self care is actually supposed to not exhaust you. Like the point of it is to provide some rejuvenation and provide a routine that actually works and weaves into our lives, not this like 18 step nonsense that really does just exhaust us and make us feel like we're not doing enough. And so we really wanted to talk today about the marketing that we're seeing that is disguised as self care and what you can actually do to be taking care of yourself somewhat from, you know, my perspective as a licensed mental health counselor clinician.

[Jen]

So I mean if that video was enough for you, for sure you, you can, you can go and you're welcome. But if you're looking for something to be less tired and maybe do not prioritize being hot as much as being cared for and rested, then tune in for the rest of the episode because we're going to critique what you're seeing on social media and we really think that there is this core principle to self care that not a lot of people talk about. Like you don't need to know a bunch of different things. If you can keep this one core tenant in mind, and we've talked about it before, so I'm really excited to tie it into this idea. But first, for my self care, I run and because I'm not sure if I care about myself or I hate myself, I've decided to run a full marathon.

[Jill]

Woo. How long will that one take? Longer than an hour and a half for sure.

[Jen]

Longer than an I will be out there longer than an hour and a half on that day, not every day. Tem hot. I will, I don't know, it's in

[Jill]

January so there'll be temperature hot.

[Jen]

I, I will be so hot, but the temperature will be so cold that maybe we'll be temperate. I am running though in Support of Ronald McDonald House Charities and I was able to go there the other day and volunteer and I would love to show you and in hopes that you will support them and me at the race.

[Ronald McDonald House Charity Runner]

Hey, frugal friends, I know you are conscious consumers and values driven spenders, and

[Jen]

I would like to appeal to you today on that.

[Ronald McDonald House Charity Runner]

I have the opportunity with a few friends to run the Disney World Marathon in January. And we are doing it to raise money for Ronald McDonald House Charities. Now, if you are unfamiliar with Ronald McDonald House, it's an organization that does something incredibly simple and incredibly powerful. When parents are faced with the unimaginable. A child sick in the hospital, far from home, Ronald McDonald House steps in and gives them a safe, warm place to sleep, eat and breathe, do laundry, shower, store their stuff. And it's just steps from the hospital. And we want to raise $3,400, which is the cost for a family to stay there for three weeks. And how you can help is by heading to frugalfriendspodcast.com run and donating to help us not just run the Disney World Marathon, but helping these families stay together. And for every donation of over $25, we are going to send you one of these frugal, not cheap, bags because that's what you're doing when you are donating to Ronald McDonald House Charities. So again, frugalfriendspodcast.com run and I look forward to seeing how much the Frugal Friends community can raise for this amazing organization and showing you fun behind the scenes as I train for the Disney World Marathon in January.

[Jen]

Thanks. So again, if you would like to help our team raise funds for Ronald McDonald House Charities, please head to frugalfriendspodcast.com run and we will be doing more fun stuff in the coming months to raise money for this amazing organization and get us to the starting line of the race. All right, so let's just talk about

[Jill]

what, what actually is self care from, from our perspective, how would we define it? And honestly, if I were to put it as succinctly as possible, I would say self care is self that. It does start with that foundation of knowing who you are, what makes you tick, what makes you come alive and what works when you feel in a funk and when things aren't going quite as planned. When you're overwhelmed, you're stressed, it must be rooted in a good understanding of who we are and what we need. And with that, then it's this whole proactive, holistic approach that considers our emotions and mental health and physical health and relational health and financial health that all of these things come together. And if we can find the routines and rhythms that allow us to meet our needs and care for ourselves on all of those different levels, then we can potentially prevent burnout. It's not a failure if we do find ourselves burnt out sometimes. It's just the circumstances that lead to that. But it could provide a little bit more longevity for us. It can certainly help to improve our well being, help us to relate to the world and our experiences in a little bit more beneficial way for us and those around us. So that's kind of in a nutshell, the way that we would describe what self care is. And yet it has become so commoditized.

[Jen]

Yeah. I think the biggest issue that we see and what we will see throughout these videos is that lack of knowing. And when you haven't defined self care and figured out what self care looks for you, then people on the Internet can sell you. And we see this like what we saw in our episode about organized hoarding. You might recognize some of these, some of these videos from that episode. What we see is this kind of like, how about I just sell you everything because you don't know what you want or who you are. So how about you be everything? And maybe you can pick or choose, you know yourself enough to pick or choose one or two things. But that's how we kind of start with this. Okay, how about self care is just

[Jill]

everything and nothing over nothing reveals the over commoditization. Is this a word of. Of self care like the everything shower?

[Jen]

Hi, girlies. Today I'm here to show you my foolproof everything shower routine. With all of my products from pre poo to skincare, this is my everything

[Jill]

shower routine that I do every Saturday

[Jen]

to maintain my sanity. I had a really bad day. But you know what never fails to make me feel better? And everything shower. Here's my current routine. I have the best shower routine in the world. The therapist says it's actually a nervous system regulation tool.

[Jill]

Because it's that good.

[Jen]

I'm gonna share it with you. Rapid fire. Because it's really. Yeah. So the everything shower is a trend on social media. And if you're watching this on YouTube, we're going to kind of play some of these. The most, the most notorious culprits of the everything shower of kind of just doing what it sounds like everything. But it's every product on the market imaginable. And for some reason they. Everybody is also using the same thing. So like we've got like body shower lotions and, but multiple soaps, like lotion soap Shower gel. We've got serum scrubs, serums, lotions, all these, all these things. So pre poo.

[Jill]

I don't even know what that is.

[Jen]

Can we. We glossed over that.

[Jill]

We did gloss over that free poo. I don't love it and I can't get it out of my head.

[Jen]

So as a curly hair girl, I know about a deep conditioner but a deep conditioner goes on post poo.

[Jill]

Oh no, I don't know.

[Jen]

Still don't like that. Still not. So yeah, there's like all of, all of these things that people have added to make our self care routine more complex because there is this phenomenon and there's this bias in our heads that simplicity is stupid. Like if it's simple it must be unintelligent or less than so that. So we over complexify. That's surely not a word. I am simple.

[Jill]

I don't even know how to say the word complex.

[Jen]

We make things more complex because we associate things that we don't understand with being of higher intelligence when really it is this over like complicate, complication. I am so sorry. And none of this will be edited out, so keep going. It's this complexity that leads to everything. Showers and, and just the, everything we see like, like these like shedding routines. Like these people that have everything on their face and they quote unquote wake up and like shed.

[Jill]

Yeah, yeah. We think the more we do the better results we're going to get. If this one thing is good then more is better and we're just seeing that in self care. But it really stinks because then, then we associate self care with taking a lot of time and if we don't have the time to do all of the things that it seems other people are doing and it looks like other people lives are better, especially on social media, then it can put a really big barrier in place to whatever we imagine self care is.

[Jen]

I'm not afraid to admit that my hobby is self care. And if you feel like you don't have a hobby per se, like you don't knit or draw or paint or I don't know, whatever, whatever people do as a hobby, it's okay. Because I feel like self care and wellness is not just a hobby, it's a full time job.

[Retail Therapy Commentator]

On Sunday we self care and today we are doing a skincare focused detox.

[Jen]

Do these six things every single day

[Skincare Influencer]

that help impact drainage, anti aging, overall mental health, bright and white teeth.

[Jen]

It's 60 degrees. My kids are playing outside and I finally get A moment of silence to wax my mustache in peace.

[Jill]

I mean that last one's real.

[Jen]

You do? Yeah, that last one.

[Jill]

I get you girl.

[Jen]

I feel I, I mean I don't feel you but like, like I feel

[Jill]

you if there's a mustache there. Yeah. Find your moment of peace to get that thing. But like taken care of.

[Jen]

It does feel from what we see about self care on social media that it is a chore. Even if you're not doing like all day everything, showers or walking for an hour and a half every day. Like some of these things that you have to do to stay healthy and can feel like a hobby. And I personally don't agree with that. I think the people who are normalizing that kind of rhetoric are playing into the over consumption piece of it because we recently did like a little luxuries episode and that is full of these like self care options that don't cost any money.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

Yeah.

[Jen]

And so I feel like a lot people who are doing these, you know, I do self care all the time and follow this for like anti aging yada, yada yada. They're all trying to sell you something. Maybe not in that video, but there's going to be a follow up or a preceding video that is trying to sell you something.

[Jill]

And it's wild because the more that we see videos like this, the more normalized it becomes that this is the association we have with self care when in reality self care is the bound. It's, it's woven into our lives. We don't have to carve out two hours for self care and, and we'll get there on, on the what other things that we can do. But self care is boundaries. Self care is eating the food that makes your body feel good. Self care is buying the convenience thing when you just simply don't have the time. So yeah, sometimes it could cost money. But it's not this. I do this for three hours and that's my self care. There's a much more interwoven path, but we're not seeing it. It's not becoming normalized. So that's why we're here to tell you about the alternatives. It doesn't have to look like this.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

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[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

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[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

I ordered my go to proteins which included their organic chicken breast and grass fed ground beef which helps me to make a simple meal plan, know what's for dinner each night and move on.

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

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[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

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[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

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[Skincare Influencer]

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[Jill]

But there is another example of the ways that we might approach self care.

[Jen]

One more example and I think it's going to be more relevant for this audience than maybe like the the funny like you know, facial and bath stuff was and it might hit A little hard, you guys.

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

I was sad that the Cubs lost,

[Jen]

so I went to Alexandra Marks to get myself a little permanent bracelet. I really need to springify my life in my house, so you and I are gonna go to Target and HomeGoods. So my life is a total mess right now. Sounds like a good time to go shopping, y'. All.

[Retail Therapy Commentator]

It's not even funny. Retail therapy stops working at some point. Stops working, obviously. Like, that frontal lobe develops for my late teens, early 20s, even up to mid-20s. My little thing, when you're down, not feeling so great, will pick me up.

[Jill]

Now.

[Retail Therapy Commentator]

Instead of making you feel better, it makes you feel worse because now you're like, I. I know I didn't need this.

[Jen]

I didn't need this.

[Retail Therapy Commentator]

I might return it. And now you created an extra task for yourself. Like today, I've been, you know, I've

[Skincare Influencer]

been on the grind.

[Retail Therapy Commentator]

And then there was other things that came up, and I was like, I literally need a minute to breathe. I need something that makes me. Reminds me that this is worth it. Let's go to the mall. I've been eyeing these shoes for months. Let's go check them out. Check them out. They have my size. I try them out. I like them, I buy them. Not an ounce of joy or excitement. Nothing.

[Jen]

I think this other end of the spectrum from all that over consumption that we saw in the first half is this retail therapy aspect. And it's not like traditional retail therapy. Think like we saw the. The first couple videos where we're, you know, Julia Roberts sing it, you know, like in Pretty Woman. And it's. It's this pickme up sort of thing. Like, I had a hard week at work. I'm going to go to T.J. maxx, or I, you know, finished a project that was really hard. I'm going to get a pedicure, which I literally did last week.

[Jill]

And.

[Jen]

And so it's stuff like that, like getting a little coffee. Pick me up. It's all these, like, pick me up culture that is associated, which is not bad. The things in themselves are not bad to purchase. But when we associate it with caring for ourselves, that is where the danger comes in. Because that's where habits form, and that's where coping mechanisms form. And that's how we end up with empty bank accounts and houses full of things that we bought for the dopamine hit.

[Jill]

Yeah. Thinking it's going to be an activity that. That resolves whatever emotional state we're in or stress we're experiencing or it's going to be in I deserve this kind of moment. But then like the last person was saying it just can end up being this spiral, this cycle of ah but I didn't actually have that money to spend. I wish that I would have spent my time differently. And it didn't actually hit the mark. It didn't actually resolve whatever I was dealing with. It wasn't actually self care, it was self sabotage. And now we're back in this cycle all over again. Because I didn't know or understand myself.

[Jen]

Yeah. And this girl was not being irresponsible. She was going to look at shoes that she had been looking at for a while. You like having them in your cart for a while to make sure you still want them and then going to get them but going for the wrong reason. Not for the shoe but for what you were feeling and what you wanted to get from the purchase. And that is what we have to be aware of. That's the line, that's the dividing line where we where self care can dive like divulge or deteriorate into impulse spending. One day I'm gonna learn how to use words.

[Jill]

It's a day we all have em.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

So what do we do about this? We do think one of the things is just to get back to the basics.

[Wellness Advocate]

I don't know who needs to hear this but wellness looks very different when you're broke. It's not matcha lattes and pilates studios and fancy journals. It's silence in the morning, it's meditation, it's eft tapping, it's prayer, it's waking up with the sunlight, it's going to

[Jen]

bed earlier, is drinking more water.

[Wellness Advocate]

We have got to get back to the basis when it comes down to taking care of ourselves. And it's so easy to feel like I need to be doing this, I need to be doing that, I need

[Jen]

to be doing, doing, doing, doing.

[Wellness Advocate]

Maybe we just need to be. Maybe we need to just start being. And if you have breath you have life and that's one of the wealthiest things you can have. So let's get it. Chance to get back to the basics.

[Jill]

Let's get it.

[Jen]

I do love that because that I mean sums up the essence of self care. And there are still people on the Internet who get that you might get served more of the over consumption content. That's intentional, that that's a platform choice because that platform makes more money when you buy more things either through its in app shopping platform or from the influencers that dominate it. That is an intentional decision but there are still people, and I think we forget that, that are getting back to the basics. They're drinking more water, they're going to bed early, they're doing, they're doing all the things that you hear people talk about. Right. But, but maybe feel a little disconnected from purpose. And so we wanted to tie purpose to all these like really good, healthy things around self care.

[Jill]

Yeah. Because ultimately this self care is supposed to improve our well being on the different domains that we talked about, the things that make up our personhood. Self care in one area should still uplift all the other areas of our life. Self care should not make us broke. Self care should not set us back with our mental health. Self care should not make us feel disconnected from other people. It's, it should be the opposite of those things that bring about health and well being. And one of the things that we found so helpful as a guide in understanding this, well, how am I supposed to know what my needs are and how do I meet them accurately and not through shopping and you know, these dopamine hits that aren't going to last long. Maslow's hierarchy of needs can be a really good guide for this. And so if you're watching the video on the screen, we've kind of got this for you to be able to visualize how we have our basic needs, our lower level physical needs, followed by some more of our emotional needs, needs for belonging, and then at the very tippy tippy top, the need for self actualization. And so we can kind of filter our own experiences through the lens of this hierarchy and be able to look at, okay, what are my physical needs and how am I meeting them? In what ways is it actually working? I feel a sense of safety and security. In what ways is it not working and making me feel less secure, less stable? In what ways am I experiencing love and belonging? How, how might I be spending money to achieve that? And are there alternatives? How am I experiencing self esteem? In what ways might I be making purchases to make myself feel better? Be doing the everything shower? Because I think maybe that will finally make me look the way that I want to rather than embracing who I currently am at this stage of life and doing the things that I know that I'm good at to increase and boost that self esteem? So we've found that this can be helpful to kind of find some of those solutions and know where we can build upon and where tweaks can be made.

[Jen]

Yeah, I truly believe that every purchase we make fulfills some kind of need in Some way, even impulse purchases. And this is where self care truly comes into play. And so I'll use a common example of, I had a rough week at work. It's Friday. I want to stop at TJ Maxx. And so we look at this hierarchy of needs, and you can kind of dictate for yourself where you fall on it and what need this impulse purchase you're about to make at TJ Maxx is going to stack them from. We've got our physiological needs, which are food, water, sleep. Well, am I overly stressed because I had a bad week of sleep, or I haven't had enough water or good food? Like, those are major ones. And those are really easy to point out. And it kind of gets harder and harder to identify. And we have to look into ourselves more intentionally, more and more intentionally with every level we get up. So then it has safety. And this is where I feel like safety and esteem are where I feel like a lot of our work issues come up. So, like safety of employment, security of body, safety of morality, of your family, of your health. And so if these things, so many of these things are not in our control, and when we feel out of control, we want to do something to put ourselves back in control. And the easiest and most normalized way to do that is to buy something. And so we can kind of inspect, like, am I feeling insecure in my employment, insecure in my, you know, health or family or something. That could be a reason that we are making impulse purchases, disguise, you know, and calling it self care. And then you can just read all the way up, like, like, like insecurity in relationships, insecurity and self confidence, or self esteem, insecurity and self actualization. And this is one that we always like to point out because it is the least understood one. So it's not like I'm going into the forest and like taking ayahuasca and finding my self actualization. That's not what it means. Self actualization is a person's motivation to reach his or her full potential. And so it is at the top of the hierarchy needs, hierarchy of needs. And it is still a need. But all your basic needs must be met before you can actually realize self actualization. So that is feeling creative, spontaneous, being able to solve problems, accepting facts, and just like accepting your role in the world when those things are insecure. You can also overspend on purchases disguised as self care. I mean, anything really, right? But these, these are the things, if you can understand this hierarchy, you can make much more informed decisions about the purchases that you're making, what the insecurity or gap is behind them, and then figure out what you can actually do to solve the root of the problem instead of spending money.

[Jill]

So some examples, if we're identifying, okay, this is something physical going on in my body that's causing me to want to do something that isn't actually going to hit the need, then we find ways to move our body. Maybe it's some light stretching, maybe it's going for a walk, maybe it is just sleep. Sometimes we think we need to do all these other things when in reality we just need to go to bed. It's safety. If there's some insecurity in some of our feeling stable, it could be that we just need to put some money into savings and like that's not the only way to bring safety back in. But it's an example of maybe it's not shopping and doing the opposite of securing our finances. Maybe it's putting it away and saying I'm spending on my future self or paying debt. Yeah, finding something free to do in celebration of that good decision. If it's belonging, certainly we want to connect with a friend where there's reciprocity. Sometimes relationships can be really draining and it makes us think, I just need to isolate. And then we find ourselves in a deeper pit than we were before. When in reality what we needed was to meet that need relationally. But with people who really understand us, with people who are going to care for us, us as well as we care for them. And then esteem. Maybe it's learning something new. Maybe it's doing something that you already know how to do so that you can feel really confident again and remind yourself of, oh, there are some things that I am good at and I got to do that. If it's self actualization and maybe we are incorporating that impulsivity, that spontaneity to spending, flip the script and try and do something creative. Think about what you could do spontaneously within your own home. Trying a new way to organize the furniture or redecorate the place. Try a new recipe, you name it. There's always ways to meet these needs in free or low cost ways. And if you're still not sure, just keep subscribe to the Frugal Friends channel and keep watching because we give so many ideas on what you can do instead.

[Jen]

Yeah, I do believe the self actualization one is the most in like deepest cut when it comes to impulse spending on self care. Even with when we're looking at the everything shower People will create these, like, shower, like themed shower routines. Have you seen those?

[Jill]

No.

[Jen]

Where everything is pink or green or carnival themed. And I. And that is a way to express creativity. Like it is a bait, like a. A need, a human need to be creative. And so, yes, that is a way to be creative. But is it the best way? It's definitely not the only way. So how can I get to the root of what I really want without overspending and over consuming, which just inevitably leads to more stress and anxiety when it comes to our money.

[Jill]

I'm so thrilled that we've gotten to the root of what we need. And it's not stressful and it doesn't cost us money.

[Jen]

It is something that I incorporate into my daily routine, typically once or twice a week.

[Jill]

The bill of the week.

[Podcast Host Intro]

That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is as William. Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck bills, Buffalo Bills, Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week.

[Liza]

Hey, frugal friends. This is Liza with a mini bill. My daughter is in middle school and really wanted a certain brand of lip gloss that the kids are wearing. And it's $24 a tube and my frugal heart has a very hard time with that. So I did a little googling and I found some boxes that are new in box on Poshmark and for about half the cost.

[Podcast Host Intro]

So.

[Liza]

And then I was going to go check out, but I saw the make the make an offer button. So I just put in an offer that was about 15 or 20% less and it was accepted. So now I'm going to have two boxes shipped to my house for less than the price of one. And as a bonus, they're going to arrive before Christmas where the other box was not. Anyway, thanks, frugal friends. Oh, and if you can hear anything in the background, that's you guys playing downstairs on the kitchen. Alexa.

[Jill]

That's wild. That's meta.

[Jen]

If you can hear anything, it's you

[Jill]

playing back to you on your own podcast.

[Jen]

That is so great. I love Poshmark for stuff like this. And we actually just got into whatnot, which is similar. But I love. You might have already heard us read ads for it. And maybe my obsession has started grown

[Jill]

on the whatnot platform.

[Jen]

The. The ads I read might start getting a little more eccentric, maybe a little more animated. But yeah, it's because of stuff like this like yes, you can get what? And this is so much more for kids because they really care about the brand name and it is sometimes life or death. Like you don't want to get them the knockoff and then they get bullied and then you just have to pay more money in therapy down the line. Right? Like where's the trade off? Where's the financial Inc.

[Jill]

Either buy the name brand lip gloss now or pay $200 an hour for their.

[Jen]

I just think you nailed it. I just think you nailed. I think you nailed it.

[Jill]

This is so great. There's always a way to get a deal and it doesn't mean that you have to buy the knockoff and it doesn't mean that you have to buy it used. Right. This is brand new in box.

[Jen]

Things we should do an episode. Things we don't buy used.

[Jill]

Exactly. So sorry we are so late. Five months later on listening.

[Jen]

Honestly, if you've ever submitted a bill, you know it's gonna be five months.

[Jill]

This was, this was brilliant.

[Jen]

Worth the wait though.

[Jill]

Two boxes for the price of one. Brand new retail, new inbox. You just crushed it. And I really hope that your daughter appreciated opening this on Christmas because you really did it, mom. You did it the best.

[Jen]

But kids don't appreciate anything enough to warrant buying anything for them new. So I will stand on this business that kids don't deserve anything new. Except lip gloss.

[Jill]

Underwear. There's an underwear, lip gloss, socks,

[Jen]

food. But socks only because. Well, okay. Food, yes. Socks only because they do like deteriorate and they use get so bad. Like what do kids do with their feet?

[Jill]

Right? Yeah.

[Jen]

Okay.

[Jill]

You did, you, you, you momed hard. You frugal hard and well done. If you're listening and you have a bill that you want to submit if it has to do with whatever you did five months ago or what you're doing now and we'll hear about it in five months.

[Jen]

Give us a bill that's going to happen happen in five months so that when we play it, it is just

[Jill]

can't wait to hear it. Frugalfriends podcast.com Bill One way I reduce

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

decision fatigue is by simplifying my getting dressed routine. This means having closet staples with versatility. So my outfits just work for this. Quinte has been my go to. Everything feels effortless but still put together. Which is exactly the vibe I want when I'm running errands or recording same.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

But for me, it's all about their tanks. I am obsessed with. They're super soft. They hold their shape and they somehow make me feel like I tried even when I absolutely did not try. It's giving elevated basics without the elevated price.

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

I live in their linen pants and dresses. They're lightweight, breathable and actually flattering, which

[Jill]

is not always the case with linen.

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

I also grabbed one of their washable silk dresses and had to double check the price because it felt way more expensive than it was. I genuinely wear these pieces on repeat.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

Refresh your everyday with luxury you'll actually use head to quince.comfrugal for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns.

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

Now available in Canada too.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

That's Q-U-I-N C E.comfrugal for free Shipping and 365 day returns quince.comfrugal you know

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

that feeling when you find something so good at a thrift store and you're like wait, how is this still here? That's kind of what it feels like Shopping on Whatnot. It's a live shopping app where you can snag amazing deals in real time.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

I finally tried it and now I get the hype. I grabbed a bunch of clothes for my kids, all of which cost me with shipping and tax less than $5 per item and I didn't have to leave my house. I got their summer shopping done secondhand and was even able to chat with the seller live and requested that they list a jacket I saw in the background for me to bid on.

[Jen]

And I got it.

[Quince and Whatnot Promoter]

I do enjoy the community aspect. Sellers can show pieces up close, answer questions and help you figure out sizing. And you're almost never paying full price. We've been using Whatnot and recommend it for getting the things already on your buy list.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

Download the Whatnot app today and get free shipping on your first order. Just search wh a t n o t whatnot in the app store and start scoring amazing deals.

[Jill]

And now it's time for the lightning round.

[Jen]

All right, what's a self care habit you are being more mindful about or incorporating into your life these days?

[Jill]

Go for it.

[Jen]

So I'm personally walking an hour and a half every morning and then doing a 30 minute Pilates and strength combo throughout. Drinking a gas gallon of water while

[Jill]

you're high protein and being very high.

[Jen]

Okay. No, I am walking more steps though. So for me steps have been a way to get me outside. They have been like just a little extra boost. I do. If I take a 20 minute walk in the morning before Travis leaves for work I will go through A whole thing of water. And one of my biggest like struggles in life is drinking enough water. So that just sets me up for a good day. So steps have been like more integral in my life and I like them. I can't run right now because I have Achilles tendonitis. And so it has been my way to get outside, being outside. It's one of the, the elements of running that I love. And so this has kind of helped with that.

[Jill]

Yeah, for me, I think I found just a really good routine that for me it's, it's maintenance. Knowing that now this works for me. I've been able to stack certain habits and weave different things into my life that we're just, we're kind of maintaining. So that does include like a regular sleep schedule, exercising five days a week. It just is good for me. I'm not at a place where I've got to get fit for, for summer. This is just, I notice it in my mental health and emotional health if I'm not lifting heavy things regularly, which

[Jen]

I never thought I would hear coming out of Jill's mouth.

[Jill]

No, no.

[Jen]

I want to put that out there. This is the first time I'm hearing it out like, like said verbatim and it is a phrase I never thought I would hear from her.

[Jill]

I have been exercising for a long time, but you. But now, like the lifting heavy things part.

[Jen]

Yeah, that is new and I love that for you. Me too. Yeah.

[Jill]

Honestly, regular meal planning feels a part of a self care routine. To have done it on Sunday, collected the supplies, paid as little as possible on my groceries, not like depriving myself, but because I'm doing it. The cost is so low. Knowing what I'm going to have to eat that week, incorporating sometimes new things, but sometimes just keeping it straight easy because I know what my week is going to look like. These things are my self care and I just feel really great when I'm able to keep up that routine.

[Jen]

Dark chocolate. Another one for me.

[Jill]

Oh yes.

[Jen]

Couple squares of dark chocolate a day. Oh yeah.

[Jill]

We always got to have chocolate around. I've got the peanut butter cups from Aldi in, in the pant. You know, one a day.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

Keeps the doctor away.

[Jen]

One a day. And that is the thing that keeps the doctor away.

[Jill]

All right everyone, thanks for being here. If you've got a self care routine or things that you know are really working for you, we'd love to hear it. Tell us in the comments.

[Jen]

Please do. Please expand our, our knowledge of self care practices that don't cost Money. Yeah. Or like maybe a little bit of money. Because dark chocolate ain't right.

[Jill]

That's so true.

[Jen]

But it ain't as much as a serum.

[Jill]

Yeah. And. But you know what Can Be Free is our book. If you get it from the library.

[Jen]

Amen.

[Jill]

I've been getting DMs from people about.

[Jen]

I just got it from the library. I love it.

[Jill]

It warms my heart. But here's what you can do for us. If that's you, you can leave us a review. Love it. When they're five stars like this from. From Johanna. Jen Until. His approach to finances is about more than just spending and saving. It's about getting clear on your priorities and seeking contentment. They share relatable stories, facts to back up their research, and plenty of jokes. This is a great way to start the year.

[Jen]

Yes. Thank you so much, Johanna.

[Butcherbox and Whatnot Promoter]

Yeah.

[Jen]

If you could leave a review, subscribe to the YouTube channel. We are on the path to 10,000 subscribers.

[Jill]

Yeah, we are. For your birthday. For your 10th birthday.

[Jen]

For my birthday. That isn't like, in a week. And we are so excited to be here with you. And again, frugalfriendspodcast.com run if you would like to give to the Ronald McDonald House Charities and force me to run a full marathon. If you don't donate, I don't run. So if you want me to feel cared for, then you have to do it. You have to give. I don't make the world.

[Jill]

You gotta give. You gotta give.

[Jen]

You gotta give. Bye.

[Jill]

See you next time.

[Jen]

Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sears.

[Jill]

Will you. Will you reward people? Wait, did you already say this? If they give.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jill]

Reward them with a video of you running.

[Jen]

Okay, so there's going to be a couple rewards that I'm not announcing like, like super publicly because I want them to be reserved for the OGs, because they don't have an infinite number of them. But we do have frugal, not cheap, bags.

[Jill]

I love those bags.

[Jen]

Yeah. And those I'm gonna give to. If you donate $25 or more, you just have to send your confirmation to Goldie or respond to any of the friend letters emails. So we will do that. And when I start training in July for it, I will maybe be dressing up in some costumes and maybe some donors can choose what those costumes are.

[Jill]

French fries.

[Jen]

That's a weird costume. I don't know.

[Jill]

You can see how I got there though, right?

[Jen]

I guess.

[Jill]

Ronald McDonald's. McDonald's. McDonald's French fries. Jen runs the Ronald McDonald race as French fries done.

[Jen]

Yeah, yeah, I see where you got that.

[Jill]

Gonna spritz ya with whatever oil they're fried in.

[Jen]

She takes it too far. Oh, every time gets weird. She takes it too far. It's so cute though.

[Jill]

Early birds always rise to the occasion for summer vacation planning because early gets you closer to the actual. So don't be late. Book your next vacation early on VRBO and save over $120. Rise and Shine Everest Savings $141 select homes only

[Capital Ideas Podcast Narrator]

In a world full of noise, long term thinking stands out. On the Capital Ideas podcast, Capital Group leaders explore the decisions that matter most in investing, leadership and life. It's a rare look inside a firm that's been helping people pursue their financial goals for more than 90 years. Listen to the Capital Ideas podcast from Capital Group, published by Capital Client Group, Inc.