You Might Have to Support Your Parents… Here’s What to Do

Summary

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Podcast Summary: Frugal Friends Podcast

Episode: "You Might Have to Support Your Parents… Here’s What to Do"

Hosts: Jen Smith & Jill Sirianni
Date: July 21, 2026

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Overview

This episode tackles a rarely discussed but increasingly important topic: preparing to financially and practically support aging parents. Jen and Jill bring humor and candor to a subject that affects millions of adults, especially Millennials and Gen X, as they navigate the “sandwich generation” challenge—taking care of children and elderly parents at the same time. The hosts share personal stories, break down societal and financial realities, and offer step-by-step guidance for listeners who may face this responsibility.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Why This is Becoming a Modern Reality

• Aging Population & Longevity: People are living longer, with health outcomes varying, requiring extended care ([05:57]).
• Retirement Savings Gaps: Many parents didn’t have access to 401(k)s or robust retirement plans, especially before the 1990s ([04:20]).
• Changing Family Structures: Fewer siblings mean the caregiving and financial load often falls on one or two children (“The buck stops with you.” – Jen, [08:20]).
• Healthcare and Long-Term Care Costs: These are rapidly rising, often outpacing what retirees saved (“It's the ‘go go, slow go, no go’ years.” – Jill, [07:33]).
• Gender and Family Roles: Women are statistically more likely to become primary caregivers ([10:12]).
• Stats Highlight:
  • 1 in 4 adults is a caregiver, representing 63 million people
  • 10% of U.S. adults care for a parent over 65 ([09:16])
  • 29% of caregivers are in the “sandwich generation” ([12:01])
• Financial Strain: Caregivers spend ~$7,200/year out of pocket; many experience setbacks to savings or retirement ([10:17]).

2. What Not to Do First

• Don’t Sacrifice Your Financial Health: “We do not want to deteriorate boundaries.” – Jen, [13:12]).
• Avoid Financial Commingling or Giving Out of Guilt: Strive for a balance between support and self-preservation.
• Know the Limits of Government Benefits: Don’t overestimate Medicare or underestimate Social Security ([13:12]).

3. Proactive Steps: What To Do

Step 1: Start the Conversation Early

• Approach the topic sensitively, focusing first on your parents’ wishes, not just numbers. “This is about alignment, not them thinking you want to take control.” – Jen, [19:28], [21:09].
• Good on-ramp questions:
  • What do you want later in life?
  • How do you feel about in-home care, nursing facilities, or living arrangements?
  • Have you thought about what help you may need? ([18:07]–[19:28])
• Frame as learning from their expertise or previous experiences for less confrontation.

Step 2: Understand the Financial Picture

• Without prying, try to clarify:
  • Income sources (Social Security, pensions, etc.)
  • Assets and debts
  • Insurance policies (life, long-term care, etc.)
• Useful approach: Share your own experiences (“When we got life insurance… do you have any recommendations?”) ([22:24]).

Step 3: Define and Communicate Boundaries

• Know what you can realistically offer in terms of time, money, or housing ([25:35]).
• For those with siblings: Have the “divide and conquer” conversation about sharing responsibilities ([26:36]).
• “A good way to help define what is and isn’t okay is not harming your own financial future in order to help your parents.” – Jill, [27:33].

Step 4: Learn the Systems—Don’t Overpay

• Understand the difference between Medicare and Medicaid, the realities of long-term care, state/local programs, and what’s “scammy.”
• Notable moment: Jen’s story about learning from her mom that direct cremation can cost as little as $250 instead of thousands ([28:10]).
• “When you are grieving, that’s not when you can learn this; you have to learn this stuff now.” – Jen, [29:24]–[30:52].

Step 5: Plan and Put It in Writing

• Essential documents and actions:
  • Durable Power of Attorney (POA) (for finances/decision making)
  • Healthcare Power of Attorney (for medical decisions)
  • Up-to-date wills and named beneficiaries on all accounts
  • Consider trusts if warranted ([31:14]–[33:52])
• “If your POA is older than three years, you gotta do another. Banks are super, super protective.” – Jen, [32:06].
• Recommended reading: Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk by Cameron Huddleston. Jen’s story is featured there, and she credits the book for her preparedness ([34:25]).

4. Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “It is becoming more and more common for people in their 30s, 40s, and 50s to be financially caring for their parents or in a different type of caregiving role.” – Jill ([02:27])
• “We live in isolation, thinking ‘it’s just me’ when it’s not.” – Jen ([10:17])
• “Give yourself grace. This is a thing that will change throughout. There's no way you can plan for the exact outcome.” – Jen ([35:04])

5. Real-Life Examples & Personal Touches

• Jen’s Story: As an only child, she and her husband set up a plan so her mother can move into their old house at discounted rent, with reciprocity expected (e.g., overnight care for grandkids). She stresses that this is possible due to early planning and life choices ([43:12]–[45:10]).
• Jill’s Story: Her mother is going through the process of caring for her own grandmother, providing a window into the extended duration and evolving nature of caregiving ([45:51]).

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Timestamps for Key Segments

| Segment | Timestamp | |---------------------------------------|:--------------| | Introduction to the Issue | [01:24]–[04:20]| | Why Millennials Face This Issue | [05:08]–[10:17]| | Caregiving Stats & Sandwich Generation| [09:16]–[12:01]| | Step-by-Step Guidance | [18:01]–[36:42]| | Notable real-life examples (Housing) | [43:12]–[45:10]| | Discussing Legal Planning | [31:14]–[36:42]| | Q&A Lightning Round / Reflections | [43:12]–End |

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Additional Recommendations & Resources

• Get help from a certified financial planner (CFP): “You yourself do not have to be an expert on that… but it is something you need to start the conversation, not avoid it and come prepared.” – Jill ([15:03])
• Document Checklist:
  • Durable Power of Attorney (renew every 3–5 years)
  • Healthcare Power of Attorney
  • Will and guardianship (for parents and for yourself)
  • Named beneficiaries on all bank, insurance, and retirement accounts
  • Trust (if necessary)

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Tone and Style

• Warm, honest, filled with empathy and practical advice
• Personal anecdotes underpin broader advice
• Relatable banter: “Yeah, this is where you need to...divide and conquer...who has this kind of relationship with mom or dad?” – Jen ([26:36])
• Emphasis on grace and flexibility: “This will change; give yourself grace.” ([35:04])
• Humor woven throughout, helping make a heavy topic feel approachable

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Conclusion

Preparing to support aging parents is an emotional and financial challenge, but with early, open conversations, defined boundaries, research into systems and benefits, and proper legal planning, it can become manageable and less stressful.
The hosts encourage listeners to start small, seek help, and afford themselves—and their parents—plenty of grace as they create a plan tailored to their family’s needs.

For further reading:

• Cameron Huddleston, Mom and Dad, We Need to Talk
• Frugal Friends resources: frugalfriendspodcast.com/cfp

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Listener Call to Action:
Share your experiences or wisdom about caring for aging parents in the YouTube comment section for this episode, helping create a “wealth of wisdom” for others in this season.

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[End of Summary]

Transcript

[Jill]

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[Jen]

You might have to support your parents. Here's what to do. Welcome to the Frugal Friends podcast, where you'll learn to save money, embrace simplicity,

[Jill]

and live a richer life. Here are your hosts, Jen and Jill.

[Jen]

Welcome Frugal Friends. I'm Jen.

[Jill]

I'm Jill.

[Jen]

And a lot of us may have to face a financial struggle that people, a lot of people are not talking about. Most people are not talking about, and that's taking care of our parents. And I thought that I was maybe more isolated in this. Like, this is something that I thought about. I know you've thought about, but we don't talk about widely until I was talking with our friend Nehemiah and he was also thinking about it for his parents. And I'm like, oh my gosh, if it's me and this like one random person that I just randomly brought this up with. There has to be more of us out there who are thinking like, am I going to. Our parents just don't have retirement funds and am I going to have to do some kind of financial care? Am I going to have to do time care? Like what? In what capacity am I going to have to. Or can I support my parents in their older age?

[Jill]

And it is becoming more and more common for people in their 30s, 40s, 50s to be financially caring for their parents or in a different type of caregiving role? And so we want to talk about our own personal experiences, but also break down what to expect and how to prepare, because no one's talking about how to prepare for this. And so Often we're blindsided by it.

[Jen]

Yeah. And so if this is the kind of stuff that you want to talk about financially, if you want to dive into the topics that not a lot of other people are covering, please subscribe to this channel because this is the kind of stuff that we want to cover. This is the kind of stuff we want to help people prepare for and like the video because this is not like a widely viral prone topic, but we do think a lot of people are interested in this and if they're not, then maybe they need to start thinking about it and having these conversations. Maybe they just don't know. And this is the video that will inspire them to find out, like how much or how little they're going to need to support their parents in the future. So give the video a like on YouTube, subscribe on YouTube so this message can get as much traction as possible. So again, this is a topic that's super personal to both of us. My mom and my dad did not have college educations. They did not save for retirement. It wasn't super easy to save for retirement on your own until like the 2010s. So a lot of our parents, if you weren't, if you didn't own your own business or have like a high paying job to where you could see a financial advisor, a lot of people are just not going to be saved enough for retirement. Not a lot of people had access to 401ks in our generation. Almost everyone has access to one, but still not everyone. And so IRAs, Roth IRAs were not invented until the 90s. So like I was, you know, I was born in 89. So like, this is just something that's going to be so common for millennials to go through. And while my dad is no longer with us, I have been thinking, like since I got married, how are we going to manage our finances so that one day when I do have to take care of my mom, it is not so much of a burden to us.

[Jill]

Yeah, this is something that I've had to think about a lot. I've seen my mom go through it with her parents. And not just a caregiving role, but even just managing money, even if you don't have to give financially, there can still be the managing component and just more involvement. So I think conversations and awareness around this is so important. And to be talking with our parents about what, what will this entail for you and what can I be doing. So before we kind of get to that point of what the next steps, let's just Break down the expectations here. Why are we finding ourselves needing to have these conversations potentially even earlier than it seemed like it needed to happen?

[Jen]

Yeah, like where maybe our parents and our grandparents actually did not need to think about this as much as we do.

[Jill]

Yeah. And so you've mentioned some of the things, but first of all, people are living longer, in some cases healthier, in some cases not so much. And so they're just, they're living longer but requiring more care. So that can require more from us. There's retirement savings gaps, which you've mentioned, but a lot of employers have moved away from pension plans because it's expensive and they're the ones taking on the risk versus defined contribution plans, which is, you know, your 401k and the things that you are putting your own salary into can be a lot more affordable for the employer. But the employee may or may not choose to do that or it might not be enough. Not enough was put away. So that can cause a lot of risk. I mean, 401ks didn't really come on the scene until the 80s. That's when our parents were graduating from college, kind of just getting life started. And so if there wasn't a lot of investment acumen, which for the common person there wasn't, and there was no

[Jen]

Internet like widely available.

[Jill]

Where are you hearing about these things? Also there's rising healthcare costs, long term care costs. These are the things that are causing retirees so much money. It's kind of, we're learning in our CFP course about retirement and he describes it as a smiley face. The amount of money that you need and from like 65 to 75, it's a little bit more, that's the, I

[Jen]

forget all your traveling and you're doting on the grandkids and you're doing, you're very active.

[Jill]

It's your go go years, that's what he called. And then 75 to 85 is your slow go years. That's, that's the dip. You don't need as much money because you're just kind of doing, doing a little bit to get by. And then 85, the, the curve goes up and that's, I forget what that your no go years, that's when you're,

[Jen]

you're seeing more health care, rising healthcare costs.

[Jill]

But for people on a fixed income, they might not have the money for that or they might not have anticipated that they were going to be living for that long and the money can start to run out. These are all the components. Also fewer siblings Smaller families, not as many people to be coming together to provide care for the parents. I mean, for you, you're. You're one.

[Jen]

I am the only child.

[Jill]

The buck stops with you.

[Jen]

Yeah. So. And we're thankful that Travis's parents are fine. They're taking care of. They've got retirement and other kids that will take care of them. But my mom really does have only me. And so I think it's. I think it's an important, like, distinction to make with smaller families. We can say, like, okay, I know I'm not going to save extra for my parents because I'm just going to, like, take the manual labor costs and because that's what my, you know, mom did. That's what my grandmother did, and that is what my mom did and my grandmother did. Like, that's what they did. But ultimately it's with smaller families. The load. You used to be shared with larger families, and now the load is really isolated with fewer fam. I mean, boomers were the largest generation, but they had less kids. So then there were less kids to have fewer kids. So there are just like, fewer. Fewer people, theoretically.

[Jill]

Yeah. And so now at this point, about 1 in 4 adults is now a caregiver. That represents 63 million people. Caregiving itself has increased significantly over 32% in the last decade. Approximately 10% of all U.S. adults are actively caring for a parent. 65 plus. This is my mom's situation with her mother, my grandmother, and my mom is also a caregiver, somebody that you could hire to provide care to your aging parents. So the, the need for it is so strong. And so that's an option. You can hire some of it out, but they're not going to cost you money.

[Jen]

And there's a, a stat that I always look at is that the average age at which people say they want to retire and the average age at which people actually do retire is about four, four years difference. So people have to retire and are retiring four years earlier than when they say they want to retire or have planned to retire.

[Jill]

And this is especially for women who typically are the ones taking on those caregiving roles for their parents.

[Jen]

Absolutely. It's either, it's. It's somehow health related either to their health or to the health of a family member who they then have to take care of. So it's something that we have to be thinking about and we should, should be talking openly with the people around us about it too. Like, we live in such isolation, thinking it's just me when it's not, it's all millennials, for the most part, who have to be thinking about this in some capacity. So some of the data that millennials should be aware of is that caregivers spend about $7,200 a year out of pocket on average for the person they're giving care for. Nearly half experience financial setbacks. So that's draining savings, reducing retirement contributions. And so, which is why we say starting early, as early as possible, even if you are investing with little, is so important, because that time horizon you may think you have might be four to five years shorter than you, than you had planned. So we need to be starting early. And then many caregivers have to reduce work or earnings, impacting long term wealth. Again, maybe you're not going down to, you know, maybe you're not quitting your job, many people do, but maybe you're going down to part time and so you're not able to save. And this is while a lot of us will also have older kids that have sports or college or something. And so all of this really does converge at the same time, which is why when we start thinking about it now, we actually have time to prepare versus once it's there, the time horizon's gone.

[Jill]

Yeah, you've also got the sandwich generation problem. So for those who are in their 30s, 40s, 50s, needing to think about the needs of their parents, oftentimes they also have children. So caring for kids and parents simultaneously, you can imagine that's quite a stressor, that's quite a demand on both time and, and finances. And so there can be an emotional and financial tension that needs to be navigated here. And there's a lot that can't be relieved in that, but there is some that can be prepared for. It's why we think it's so important to talk about this, have the awareness, have the conversations so that we're not in this place of reaction. But we've had some opportunity to be a little bit proactive about that, because 29% of caregivers are in that sandwich generation. And now, now I don't even know what you'd call this, but my mom, who's caring for her mom, is also a grandmother. So that sandwich generation can go for a very long time where you're still caring for an aging parent and now also grandkids. So we've got a longer time span to need to be prepping for.

[Jen]

So we want to talk about what to do. But first we want to say, here's what we. Let's set the stage of what we don't want to do. We do not want to deteriorate boundaries. So we still want to have healthy boundaries with our parents. We don't want there to be like financial commingling. We don't want to sacrifice the financial future we are building for our kids to take care of our parents. And we don't want to over commit financially out of guilt. So whether that is a guilt that's coming from within you or guilt that's coming externally from the parents, from the family, from people around you, culturally, there is this balance when we talk about what to do in how at least we plan how we're planning. And again, this is just how we're planning. This isn't what we are actually doing. This is just how we are projecting it. And we want to share that with you during all of this. We want to protect ourselves and the lives that we are building for our children. And so we don't want, on the one side just think, oh, it'll work itself out, I'll get to it when I get to it. And then on the other side, we don't want to over commit and over plan and then also not plan for government benefits. There's a lot that most people don't understand about Medicare long term care. They either overestimate and think Medicare can do everything or underestimate and just think Social Security isn't going to exist. So we want to kind of understand those things while we are creating this plan.

[Jill]

And this is a great time to be able to pull in a certified financial planner. You don't have to go to them just to handle all of your assets so you can go to them with questions like this. Financial planning for retirement is a huge topic that CFP professionals are experts at. And so going to someone who's a fiduciary to be able to help you navigate this, you yourself do not have to be an expert on that because it's not a crisis that you yourself have to solve alone. But it is something that you need to start the conversation, not avoid it and come prepared.

[Jen]

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[Jen]

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[Jen]

So four, five steps. Five steps.

[Jill]

Okay, so more than a couple, but we got this.

[Jen]

Yeah.

[Jill]

So step one is going to be start the conversation early. We know that this can be one of the most uncomfortable things. We know it because it's tough to pay off debt. It's tough to do that. First step of what's the number? What are we talking about here? How are we tackling it? It's the same thing here. If not More difficult because we're bringing in life expectancy and an interesting dynamic that we might not be accustomed to with parents. But if we can find an inroad, whether it's, hey, I've seen you navigate this with your own parents. I want to be able to have this conversation with you. I want to be as supportive as possible and, and know what I can do to help you out. What do you need from me? That kind of a thing. So being able to ask questions like, what's your plan if you need care? Not assuming that that's going to be necessary, but if you do need it, have you thought about that? What do you have saved? Do you have some sort of retirement plans? Do you, do you have your own individual retirement accounts? Kind of getting just a basic understanding of what is there already and what would you want from me versus not want from me. What's important and what are you like? They are also allowed, your parents can have their own boundaries. What is okay and what's not okay. Same. Same for you.

[Jen]

Yeah, I think a good on ramp question is similar to that, but like kind of what do you want later in life versus not want. So they'll be quick to, you know, be like, I don't want to be in a nursing home, I want to be in my house. Like, stuff like that. When you can get them talking about what they want versus don't want before heading straight to any of the financial or kind of like the death adjacent questions, that is an easier on ramp. So this is about alignment, not them thinking you want to take control. So really keep those onboarding questions about them and just, you know, being like, just so I know you know what you want, like tell me more about what you're planning. And it may not. There can be some shame about not having retirement savings. So the financial questions really you have to suss out. Right. But everyone kind of knows what they want or don't want. And that can be indicative of how much they have saved versus how they answer those questions. If they want more, you might be able to assume like, okay, they might have a plan for that and if they want very, very little, then you can kind of suss out where they are financially. Although they could just think you're going to pay for everything and they want the moon and the stars and plan for you to pay for it. Who knows? It really depends on the relationship.

[Jill]

You have so many different dynamics.

[Jen]

There are so many different. And that's something you're gonna have to suss out on your own for Me, I have the on ramp of my dad dying. And we had had some conversations about that. And she had had to navigate that kind of in isolation because I was a teenager. And so I broached the topic to be like, hey, I saw how it was hard for you to go through that with dad. What do I need to know? So that if something happens to you, I'm not like going it alone. And so she was able to kind of like impart wisdom. She felt like she was teaching me. And all the while I was kind of on ramping the conversations. So. All right, next is where we get into more of the finances. So start to understand. Understand the financial picture. That's step two. Whatever they'll tell you again, don't pry. Don't get them to close off. So in ways that you can start to think, ask about income sources, assets, debt, and insurance. And so some of the ways that you can start to broach these topics and when. So like when I got life insurance, I'm like, oh, Travis. And I just got life insurance. Do you have any life insurance? Do you have any recommendations? Then you can find out if they've got a term policy, whole policy, or whatever. So again, if they feel like they're imparting wisdom on you, then they'll be more likely to answer your questions. Debt is maybe one that I might leave for last that might have some shame attached to it. Social Security can be a pretty easy one to broach initially, being like, hey, what's the deal with Social Security? What should I know about that? And then they can start to tell you, like, obviously they're not experts in Social Security. What they know is going to be what they've experienced. And so then they're going to be more open about what they've experienced.

[Jill]

And depending on the relationship and how far in into the conversation you are or the months into being able to broach this topic. I do think it'd be helpful to even have a guide, because we can't. While I think it's a great approach to go to our parents as if they're the experts on the thing, they may not actually be experts and they don't know what they don't know. And that might be a barrier to talking about it because they're not sure what they should have in order. And there's question marks around it. And there could be shame and guilt around those things, question marks. And so I think maybe even coming to the table with a resource, which I'm thinking off the top of my head, Would be great for us to create someday.

[Jen]

It's not going to be right now.

[Jill]

I'm sure it exists though, of the full picture because we actually went to a cremation seminar and they had one of these and like, that would be so helpful of where is everything? What are the insurances? What are the retirement accounts, the bank accounts? How do I get access to it if I need. What are the different types of designations that we might want to be talking about when it comes to medical power and blanket training? Yeah, there's another one like a directive. So being able to talk about these different things and get it in place before it's an emergency because otherwise these things end up going through probate and it ends up costing a ton of money. And so being able to have those reasons for it and a guide that you both can go through could be really helpful and get you both on board and on the same page and have something written down. So, you know, this is the picture. This is how to access all of these things.

[Jen]

Yeah, but you definitely. Ideally you would come into the conversations with a level of knowledge. You don't have to be an expert either. Ultimately, we're kind of broaching these subjects to get to step five, which is. Is ultimate, you know, ultimately where we want to be. But yeah, coming in and just opening these conversations and then ideally eventually getting to that. You know, that Planning Step Step 3

[Jill]

involves something that you're. You will have had to do a little bit ahead of time. But this is kind of when we're communicating it and that is your own boundaries. This is super critical. You've got to define what is and isn't okay for you. So what are you able to help with or give when it comes to your time? And we've got to be really realistic about this. But recognize it could shift what you could give of your time in the next five years might be different from the 10 years following that. So. So giving that some thought, what are you able to help with when it comes to money? Anything financial. What does that look like now? What does that look like down the road? Housing. Is that going to be a question too? Do you near your parents or away from your parents? These are all really critical things to talk about and what you are going to be able to help with. This would also involve siblings, if you do have siblings, to be able to discuss who's going to be able to do what for mom and dad, if. If and when that's needed.

[Jen]

Yeah, this is the step three is where you have the Conversations with the siblings. And you figure out, I can do more time, I can do more money, and we start some of the siblings. You will even need to like, broach this topic sensitively with them as well. And so you know your siblings and who, you know who will need to be on ramp to this highway more slowly. Right? But this is where you need to come together so that you can almost like divide and conquer this. Who has this type of relationship with mom and dad. Who has this or this type of relationship with mom, this type of relationship with dad. And so we can get this together and protect our boundaries, protect the boundaries of our siblings and still create dignity for our parents.

[Jill]

And a good way to help define what is and isn't okay is not harming your own financial future in order to help your parents. That doesn't mean that there can't be some degree of sacrifice, but really being protective of your own goals so that this doesn't become a problem for your own children as you age.

[Jen]

Okay, so step four is to learn the systems so you don't overpay. And so Jill, Jill said, we recently went to a cremation seminar. We went to a free lunch where they talked about cremation packages because.

[Jill]

Free lunch, duh.

[Jen]

And so we. But also we were like, interested, right? And so I go to my mom because my dad was cremated, my grandmother was cremated, and I was like, hey, I went to a cremation lunch. And she's like, all those things are scams. I know where to go. I got ma, I got mom, her mom and dad, my dad, both cremated for like 250 each. And I was like, oh, wow, okay, well, will you just let me know where that is and what the process is like? Because I didn't know. And like, people like, we were just. We're recording this in May. And do you know the race car driver Kyle Busch?

[Jill]

Nope.

[Jen]

Of course. I don't think he would. You listening? Might. Okay, so I just, just heard last week that this, like, NASCAR driver died on Sunday. He had a quote unquote cold, and on Thursday he was dead. 41 years old. 41. Two years older than Travis. And it really, it hit me very hard realizing, like, man, we are, we are at that age where anything could happen at any time. And it ended up being pneumonia that turned into sepsis. But when I heard they were just like, he had a cold and then it was a very severe illness. But so coming to terms with the fact that like this could happen at any time. And so we really should Know this not even just for our parents, but just in general because when you are in grieving and like your brain is all over the place, that's not when you can learn this stuff. You have to learn this stuff now. So I'm like, you know, mom, just tell me like where the discount cremator is. So all that to say step four is learn the systems so you don't overpay. So this includes like stuff like cremation, but it's also Medicare versus Medicaid. Do you know the difference? I didn't for a very long time. And honestly they're so close together that sometimes I still mix them up because they are almost the same, same word. But there is a huge difference. Long term care realities, whether that is something you can afford, long term care insurance, whether that is something that your parent has a net worth low enough or savings low enough to qualify for some Medicare, long term care, local and state resources, stuff that they might know that you need to know and stuff they might not know that you need to start researching on. So if you don't, then you end up paying for, you know, $2,000 cremation services. When, when the discount cremator is 250, right?

[Jill]

Yeah, because we didn't ask the questions.

[Jen]

You didn't ask the questions.

[Jill]

Okay, final step, step five is to start planning.

[Jen]

This is it. This is where the rubber meets the road. So come, come back and these are the things, these are terms that you need to know.

[Jill]

Here we go. The ones I was blanking on earlier. The durable power of attorney and a health care poa.

[Jen]

Power of attorney. Yes.

[Jill]

So these, they, they are both a little bit different in the way that they will, what they will provide you to be able to do A durable power of attorney is something that can last even while the person is alive. You to be able to do some of the things on their behalf that, that might be necessary if they're in the hospital, but you still need to be able to pay their mortgage or you name it. There are things that you might need to do on their behalf and being able to have the power to do that is really crucial.

[Jen]

Yeah, durable is more like the financial stuff and just general decisions like if you need to access money in their bank account. A durable power of attorney will in most cases allow you to do that. Banks are super, super protective of your money, thankfully. So the durable power of attorney needs to be at least like within the last three to five years. If your POA is older than three years, you got to do another One, and these documents have to be notarized. And then the healthcare POA is what it sounds like. It's health care decisions. It's to make sure that whoever your parent wants making their health care decisions is able to make them. Especially if a husband and a wife or two partners are maybe incapacitated together, like in an accident. Who's the POA of that? Like, which sibling do they want making the decisions? That's what a healthcare POA does.

[Jill]

And of course, having wills in place, making sure that these are up to date, that, I mean, we should be having these. But definitely our parents. Parents make sure that they have wills and that they have designated beneficiaries on all of the possible accounts that require beneficiaries, that they exist on life insurance, that they exist on the retirement accounts and individual accounts and bank accounts. Like, if you. If they do not designate a beneficiary, the court is going to decide. And that is going. Maybe they'll decide that it'll end up going to the person that it should have gone to from the beginning, but it's going to cost a lot of money. It's going to take a lot of time. Far easier to just make sure there's beneficiaries in place.

[Jen]

It's so easy.

[Jill]

Trusts if they're needed. That's one of those things to get connected with a certified financial planner to be able to suss out, is this necessary? What's going to be the most helpful? Create an individualized plan. We can't recommend enough. The book by Cameron Huddleston called Mom and Dad, we need to Talk. If this all sounds really overwhelming and you feel as though, yeah, I need this, but I'm still not sure where. Where to start. And I need more hand holding. That one's a really excellent book, actually. Jen, your story is shared in that book as well.

[Jen]

Cameron is the one who taught me a lot of this stuff. She interviewed me for her book, gosh, like seven years ago. And from gleaning her wisdom is how I learned. Like, I need a durable power of attorney and a health care power of attorney immediately for my mom. So because she does not have a spouse and I am the only child, a lot of this stuff would naturally fall to me, but it just makes it easier to access and make decisions and do everything quickly with these documents. And that's the thing. When we are in these situations, sometimes speed is our ally. And so having these releases a lot of friction. And then the beneficiary. I think if you have. And I'm talking to you right now. If you have children, you need a will because that's what dictates guardianship of your children. If your will does not dictate guardianship of your children, then the court will and it may not go to who you want. So you need a will. Yeah, but like, but beneficiaries, at least for your parents accounts, they should have updated beneficiaries. Maybe a beneficiary has passed or they got a divorce, they want to change something. So all making sure all beneficiaries have been updated, they may have accounts do not have a beneficiary and they just didn't know. And so really making sure that that is in place. And those are the biggest things to start with. And then I would say read mom and dad, we need to Talk by Cameron Huddleston. We'll link to it in the description and give yourself grace. This is a thing that will change throughout. We don't know how long our parents are going to live. We don't know how long we're going to live. Like there are so many unknown variables in this conversation that we can plan for the best, plan for the worst, plan somewhere in the middle and, and just go with the flow with whatever happens. But give yourself grace because there's no way you can plan for the exact outcome that will will be derived.

[Jill]

Do you know what we always plan for? And this is when we don't know the outcome every time either, but we know it's going to be great.

[Jen]

But we always plan for it.

[Jill]

The bill of the week.

[Jen]

That's right. It's time for the best minute of your entire week. Maybe a baby was born and his name is William.

[Jill]

Maybe you paid off your mortgage, maybe

[Jen]

your car died and you're happy to not have to pay that bill anymore. Duck bills. Buffalo Bills. Bill Clinton. This is the bill of the week. Hey, Jen and Jill, this is Courtney from Oklahoma City. My bill of the week is my car insurance bill. My husband and I both have a car with full coverage and then my 18 year old son also does. We were paying $471 a month. Month on car insurance. I went online and got a new quote and we will now be paying $341 a month for better coverage, saving us almost $1600 a year. So everybody listen up. Make the call, go online, get the quote, do the thing, save the money. Hope you guys have a wonderful week. Bye, Courtney.

[Jill]

You did it, girl. Yeah.

[Jen]

Okay, let me just do the math here. $1,600 a year divided by the price of a latte, which is $7 in the year of our Lord 2026. That's 228 lattes. You would have to say no to. To save the same amount of money versus making one call. Courtney saved that in a year and probably for the the next year and the following year.

[Jill]

I'm more interested in what sixteen hundred dollars would be invested.

[Jen]

Oh.

[Jill]

At the end of each month in 10 years.

[Jen]

Wow.

[Jill]

Oh, my. $323,932. I assumed a 10% rate of return because I'm feeling generous, but. Okay, let's do seven.

[Jen]

Yeah, let's do seven.

[Jill]

That's fun. Okay. Okay. If you invested sixteen hundred dollars into the S&P for. For ten years, I say that. Oh, no, that's every month. I'm so sorry. No.

[Jen]

Anyways.

[Jill]

Okay.

[Jen]

Still.

[Jill]

Still amazing. Okay. Ten years annually. Sixteen hundred dollars. We've got $25,253.

[Jen]

How much of that is interest?

[Jill]

$7,653 is just interest. So, yeah, you could buy however many lattes you just mentioned, or you can have $25,253 in 10 years.

[Jen]

Yeah. Also, it is 32 times. You can get takeout of $50 each.

[Jill]

Whatever you choose, you did it. You made the call. And now you get to choose what you're going to do with 1600 extra dollars.

[Jen]

$7000 in interest. Do you want it to earn that? Do you want 32 takeouts, or do you want 228 lattes? You get to choose now because you made the call.

[Jill]

Well done, Courtney. Well done. Being the star student. Just an example of frugality. You are the pillar. And if you all are listening and have a bill that you want to share about making the call and saving so much money that you could have tens of thousands of dollars in ten years from now. Or your name is Bill. We'd love to hear from you. Frugalfriendspodcast.com can't wait for it. The best summer pieces are the ones you end up wearing on repeat. Comfortable, versatile somehow. Right? For almost every occasion. That's why I love Quint's. They make elevated essentials using premium materials like European linen, organic cotton, and washable silk without the traditional retail markup. Their 100% European linen pants and dresses have basically become my personal summer wardrobe. And with prices Starting at just $32, it's hard to beat.

[Jen]

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[Jen]

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[Jill]

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[Jen]

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[Jill]

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[Jen]

Okay, what have you done recently and what do you need to do next next to prepare for care. So for me we I've told you how much I hate being a landlord, right? Have I mentioned that I hate being a landlord? But the reason we got another house was always for the reason we got into this was because not because we wanted to be landlords because we wanted a place for my mom. That was why we were going. We were going to get like a 2:1 so that my mom could live in it. And it was just you couldn't. You couldn't find a 2:1 for a reasonable rate. You couldn't find a 2:1. They were all being bought up by like hedge funds. So that's how we ended up in our Reno and but we still own our original house that we never intended to leave and we have been renting it out and we are planning to move my mom into there. She'll still pay rent, but it will be like rent controlled. And our property, you know, so that. So nothing's no rug is pulled out of her with her housing. It's always going to be there for her. Also because it's like half of what we would charge for a renter. What she's paying won't even cover the mortgage. We're going to mandate that one of the bedrooms be for the boys. And she like take the boys overnight more often. Yes. She lives in a one bedroom apartment right now, so the boys can't stay there. You know. And if she moves, there's gotta be

[Jill]

a little bit of reciprocity. You know, you get inexpensive rent in a three, two and occasionally you do weekend overnights.

[Jen]

You have to watch your grandkids. Yeah.

[Jill]

Is it the worst thing? No, they're adorable.

[Jen]

She's very excited about it actually. So that is cool.

[Jill]

That is awesome to be in that. Not positioned to be able to do that. That is because of decisions you all have made early on.

[Jen]

Yeah. And it's at a good time because we're adding financial planning and Atlas is out of daycare. So it has come at a good time to be able to take that financial hit, to be able to do this. But something the next thing I need to do is I do need to update the durable power of attorney and healthcare power of attorney because those are way over five years old and a bank, there's a bank will just not accept a durable power of attorney over five years old. There's no way. So yeah, that is, I think what I need to do next. Yeah.

[Jill]

So my parents are divorced and my eyes are primarily on my mom and what she's going to need as she gets older. And it has been a really great inroad to watch her go through what she's going through with my grandmother. It's allowed for a lot of good conversation. She's been very open with me about her current needs, what she thinks her future needs are going to be. So that's something we kind of visit monthly, I would say maybe every other month. We kind of have another check in on her financial situation. I've got, got, you know, an understanding of where all of her different accounts are. But the next step is creating the power of attorney. We don't actually have that in writing. So I know you're watching this, Mom, I'm coming for you. And we gotta get in writing.

[Jen]

Those things need to be notarized too. Yeah. So it is like an official document and it's something to be taken seriously. You definitely want your most trusted child to have it because then they have access, right?

[Jill]

Yeah.

[Jen]

Yeah. So it's not something to be taken lightly. But let us know in the comments of the YouTube video if this is something you've navigated, if there's something you've learned or wisdom you want to impart that we didn't talk about in the episode. We would love for you to add to this conversation in the comment section. And let's make it a wealth of wisdom for other millennials going or Gen X going through this season right now. And thank you so much for listening. Again, we would love if you'd give this video a thumbs up this episode a thumbs up and subscribe to the YouTube channel so that more people can hear stuff like this. We also have a book called buy what you love without going broke and it helps with spending values based on spending and learning the skill of spending money. So if you need to save a little bit more for your parents but you're having trouble, our book might be able to help you with that. May sure thinks so. They left a five star review. That said overall, a very good and well balanced book on financial wellness. I think it has great and realistic advice for a large audience.

[Jill]

Beautiful Melee, wonderful five star review. If you've not read the book, you can get it at Buy Buy what you love book dot com. If you've not left a review, we'd love for you to do that and subscribe to our YouTube channel. We'll see you next time.

[Jen]

Bye. Frugal Friends is produced by Eric Sirianni.

[Jill]

What's something that you want to do in retirement?

[Jen]

I want to take a luxury like cruise. Like the cruise is for old people that are very small and the ones

[Jill]

where you get antivirus.

[Jen]

No. Yeah, maybe. If I'm gonna go, I'm gonna go on a cruise.

[Jill]

Where to?

[Jen]

Oh, I don't know. Probably like Europe. Because the big cruise ships can't get to, you know, the good places in Europe. So you know the good places in Europe that the big cruise ships don't go to.

[Jill]

It does seem nice, the river cruises. You see stuff as you're going. You're not just out in the middle of the ocean.

[Jen]

Yes, that's what I want.

[Jill]

You think you'd have to wait for retirement for that?

[Jen]

Maybe not, but I probably should. There's so many more active things that I should do while I have the body for it. And then when I'm like in my slow go years, then I can, like.

[Jill]

Then you can cruise.

[Jen]

Yeah. Cruise in the river. Yeah. How about you?

[Jill]

Sounds nice. Honestly, it probably also involves a boat and water. Or maybe that's just my dream vacation. And I just imagine I'll get it. I'll maybe get it in retirement, but. But I've always had a, you know, a nice private yacht just bouncing around all the different islands in Greece.

[Jen]

Yes.

[Jill]

With a private chef and all my friends.

[Jen]

It feels like we're on the same cruise. In retirement.

[Jill]

Yes.

[Jen]

Yes, it's convenient.

[Jill]

Just not getting hantavirus.

[Jen]

Not getting hantavirus. Yeah, we're not going to do that.

[Jill]

Done.