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Listen, give me a break on canceled people. More specifically, learning of canceled people. I don't know why it agitates me so much, but if I'm like, oh, I love this artist and this music video is so great. So well done. Kudos to them. And then you're like, it's funny you should say that because that same person actually ate three living babies in Kissimmee, Florida, five years ago. And they got away with it. Also, they touch everybody's titties without consent. Horrible, horrible person. And so you probably also a horrible person. Like, bitch, I barely keep up with the comings and goings of people I care about and love dearly. How the fuck I'm supposed to know every single person business and who got canceled for what? Just, like, slow down the taste. Give me a minute, all right? I would be 39 years old in a shake. I don't know none of these people. I don't know any of these people. This is why I don't even watch award shows anymore, because they have nothing to do with me. You know what my portion of the award show now is? The lifetime achievement. I gotta wait until they're like, here, you old bitch. Here's an award for you being old and still being here and doing something, something with your life at one point. That's when we get to the people I recognize. So please, please, if I'm like, oh, this tiktoker posted something that's funny, I wouldn't do that. I don't know nobody on TikTok, but you follow what I'm saying. Oh, wow, this show is so great. And you're like, well, everyone on there is a murderer. They're all at Diddy's party or whatever. Like, girl, okay, just be like, hey, here's a link. Bless your heart. You know who this is and you know what time it is. Kid Fury. Furious thoughts. Let's get started. Okay, niggas, let's just settle a debate. Okay. Drums versus flats. So many of us feel so strongly about this, and it is always a delightful Negro debate on which end of a chicken wing or whatever is the best one. Drum sticks flat. So I would like to pitch an option that I feel is seldomly discussed when it comes to this thing. And I feel like it really is the best one. I feel like it's the most unifying. Chicken. Chicken is the answer. Drum flat A, sharp B. What? I don't care. I want chicken. I don't care. I really don't care. Because you know what? I'm gonna do. I'm gonna clean that bone. I'm gonna review the bone to make sure there's no leftover meat that I forgot about. I'm gonna eat my chicken. So I don't even really feel like we have time to be wasting too much time going back and forth with one another about which side is best. Because in. In that time that y' all are arguing, I didn't finish the whole. The whole box. Like, there's nothing left but wet lemon pepper sauce. Because y' all wanted to argue. Y' all just really, like. I think niggas have, like, a. A particular thing with, like, rules and boundaries, and y' all gatekeep the wrong things. Jack Harlow, I'm talking to you. But I don't feel like you in the gate no more. I feel like have, like, collectively come. Like, we. I think we're on the same page now. It's like, how did he get here? Whose sister is he? You know what I mean? I forgot what I was talking about. I'm so. Oh, chicken. Drums or flats? Like, why are y' all arguing about this? Chicken is the answer. Chicken is the answer. Drums or flats. Chicken. So the next time somebody asks you that, that should be your answer. Unless you genuinely, like, cannot eat one or the other, in which case, you know, I would say that's a failure probably in your state's education system, you know, or parenting, lack thereof. Because what the fuck you mean you can't eat one size chicken? What are we here for? I think I was playing Marvel Rivals the other day, and I thought to myself, why does Mr. Fantastic get the good name and nobody else did, right? It's like, okay, so Fantastic Four, you have the Human Torch. Guess what? That nigga can light himself on fire. You have the Invisible Woman. Guess what she does. And then you have this rock nigga named the Thing, which I feel like has always been cruel, seeing as how he came back from the moon or whatever looking a mess. Everybody still pretty much look like themselves. Can go down to Walgreens, nobody is batting an eyelash. They call this motherfucker the Thing. So you have the Thing, Invisible Woman, the Human Torch. And then Reid is like, I'mma be Mr. Fantastic, bitch. Excuse me. So hold on. The rest us get these store brand serial ass names, which you get to call yourself Mr. Fantastic. Also the name of the group. Ain't you supposed to be the smartest person on earth? Why you couldn't think of no better names for the rest of us? It feels like stank a little bit Right. It's. There's something like incredibly disrespectful and vain about it. Mr. Fantastic, with all of the other names in the group, you clearly should have been called, like, Stretch Guy, Elastic Man. I think that's already a hero. But. And sue, you gonna just take the goddamn name and be like, ooh, let's have. Have babies, and we'll. We'll be a family. He's disrespected you. The Invisible Woman. You know what I mean? He don't see you. He don't see you. He cannot think about you. He has arms, legs, and other things probably long enough to stretch the next bitch he's playing in your face that he can't see. What are the origins of Excuse my French? I could look it up. Didn't feel like it. So is it, like. Are French people known to be very vulgar? Were they incredibly vulgar at a time? Is it that when French people speak, or maybe when they speak loudly, it all sounds like cussing? I really wanna know. Is it because Paris is ghetto? So. Because I will never forget being an ignorant American going to Paris for the first time and being like, wow, this is the hood. Because it is a lot like many cities here, except niggas speak French and there's a towel tower that's, you know, shaped like a butt plug. There are many beautiful neighborhoods and landmarks and, ooh, shopping and stuff. But it is like many places here I've been to. Very easy for you to twirl the block somewhere and be like, oh, crack. You know, like, this is ghetto. Like, I have to put my purse into my holes to make sure that I keep them. So is that where excuse my French comes from? Because, like, the French are ghetto. French people. I'm so sorry. I'm so sorry. Haitian people, they ain't got nothing to do with you. Water is so delicious. Can we talk about that? That's a theory. That's a. Okay, we'll do that next time. So we're swimming, right? We're. We're in the pool. We're at the beach. You. And you decide to splash someone with water. Why? Why? I'm not even one of those people who gets, like, violently upset about it, but I am genuinely curious about what the purpose is. Because if. If someone is not in the pool, especially if they're dressed, splashing them obviously is ridiculous, right? We can answer why that is foolish. If I'm in the pool or the ocean with you, I'm already wet. So why do you. Why do you do it? Adults Specifically, I'm talking to adults. You're under the age of, like, 11. Why do you do any of the bullshit that you do? I'm not talking to you grownups. There's some things that if you see a toddler do it, you should be like, I. I. Okay, I'm maybe being petty. I just don't get it. I think it's stupid. People in relationships do y' all get, like, extremely tired when you're by yourself and someone comes up to you and is like, hey, where's so and so? Like, where's your partner? You have to. You have to. Like, are you allowed to go out where you're not stuck together like dogs? Are you permitted to do that? I just find it fascinating whenever I'm out with a friend that's like, married or, you know, coupled up and someone's like, where is such and such? You know what y' all should do? My mother's gonna be pissed. She. I tell her not to watch these things. When we were kids, if we would ask my mother where something was that she had no reason to know the location of, she would do this. And it's a little gross, but we'll say like, oh, mommy, where's the. The remote? She would go like. As if to say, it's in my nostrils. How the am I supposed to know where it is? That lady's hilarious. She doesn't even know how funny she is. She's gonna be so mad if she sees that. But whatever, like, be proud. It's funny. That's what some of y' all should do. Like, who the cares where they're at? Unless you're like, in deep in the den of iniquity. And even then, what are you doing here? Mind your goddamn business. I don't know. I just feel like that's something that maybe y' all can, like, speak up about because it has to be exhausting. Furthermore, if I'm like, in a deep relationship, me and this been together forever. Allow me the time to breathe. If I'm out. Everyday people, are we at, you know, some concert or at the park, beach, whatever the fuck, And I'm finally alone. I don't even want to remember about this bitch. Like, this is me time. Where are they at? Hopefully wherever the fuck I left them. Honestly, I don't even care. Let me breathe, bitch. This is the whole reason I'm outside by myself right now. So I don't have to give a fuck where that bitch at. But I'm also single. I have a bad attitude and don't like people in general. So maybe that's where I'm coming from with that. I don't know. Either way, I'm thinking about you, so you're welcome. Calling someone jealous out loud is humiliating. It. It's because, like, say, telling someone you're jealous of me out loud is just so incredible. Like, it sounds obnoxious regardless of whether or not that person is actually jealous of you. Because, A, how do you know that? B, you sound so, like, uppity and ridiculous. C, most of the time. Most of the time, say that you're jealous of them. Have zero to be jealous about. It doesn't it just. It. It always sounds stupid. It always sounds stupid. If somebody's jealous of you, just let them be jealous of you. It's just gross. It just sounds stupid. Every. I could never. First of all, I can't even think of anybody. Nobody comes to mind that I would be like, oh, this person is jealous. And I don't know. I don't even know how I would identify that personally, but even if I did feel like that person was jealous, me arguing with you and being like, you're jealous of me, that's the issue. Why don't we just call Andy Cohen's gay cockeyed ass in here and just, like, really have at it. Hosted by Nene Leaks or whatever. You're jealous. It just sounds stupid. Nobody with sense or any, like, feet on the ground. It really would out loud say someone is jealous of them. Y' all have group chats. Just use them. All right. This one, I feel like is primarily for white people, but really it is an issue across many races, cultures, creeds and so on. Why are y' all still going? Well, you go outside. That is diabolical. What's going on? Wendy Williams is dead. There's no reason to even still be. Oh. Oh. It like. Like, I feel like that was like my. My mom's things it so West Hollywood, y' all on this bad. Obviously, this is what I'm saying. Like, I feel like it's a white thing, but even if I go to like a. Just a regular little outside tiptoe mixed thing. Oh, oh. It's like. And then it's off beat. So what are you even doing it for? Oh, my God. It's like I get secondhand embarrassment. I really do. Because it's like a played out thing that nobody is accepting is played out. And it makes you sound like. It makes you sound like you. Like you went to Studio 54 and then you fell into a Coma. And then you just woke up and you immediately went to, like, pride or something. It's humiliate, like my great aunt should. Ua, ua. I don't even remember where I was recently and I heard people doing this. I wanted to like, throw a Gatorade at them and say, enough, enough. The kids say six, seven. Now you probably wouldn't even say that shit. No, no shade. They probably don't even say that anymore because I know what it means now, so I'm sure they're done. Someone has to come up with, like, an official guideline for etiquette at a bar line. A line for the bar at any place that serves liquor, drinks, what have you. If you're not ordering a drink, if you have received a drink, why are you in line? Why are you in line? If you don't need anything from the bar, and there are people who do need things from the bar, why are you in the line? So now when I take this elbow and I strike you in your neck and tell you to get the fuck, I'm going to be wrong, right? Then it's assault. But I would argue it's self defense because you and your behavior are violent. They're disruptive at that point. It's like a citizen's arrest, so get the fuck, huh? Out of the way. I would also argue that if you finna buy five drinks or more, let a hoe skip you. No shade. No shade. Especially if you're one of these bars where it's taking them, you know, 15 minutes to make one drink, that's for another day. Move. Ho. Y' all are like people at the the airport who get on those little walk mover things and just stand up. Or people on an elevator who stand on one side, like the walk. So everybody knows that if you're on the elevator and you don't intend to walk up it, you stand to the right so you can let people who do want to walk straight up. If you didn't know that, you're welcome. I am an educator. I am here to push our long game. That is not true. Please do not file any papers against me. Move. Move. Amen. We'll work on some more rules in the future because there. There should be many parents. There is a white man on Twitch named Burnt Peanut, and he's. Your children are giving him all their money. All your money. He is literally a virtual peanut. Think of, like if somebody was in like a planter's costume, but computer shit and yelling and screaming and a multimillionaire, I believe so ask your children what they're into. It doesn't even have to be judgmental. You know what I'm saying? I just think that it's wild that you can just, I don't know, play Escape from Tarkov as a peanut and be richer than everybody outside. I need a gimmick. What should my virtual thing be? I can't be a Hennessy bottle because that's copyright whatever, trademark infringement, one of the two, a blunt would probably get me blocked from. What should I be? Rainbow condom. That's, you know, that's really just encouraging people to practice safe sex. So I should be able to get away with that. Or, ooh, could I just be Trick Daddy? I feel like, like a VR person could build that. Or Trina. I can't be Trina. That's disrespectful. No, I can't be a Nike. I can't be a Jordan either. I. Everything I want to be is like, I'll get in trouble for it. At the Sliced Mango. It was right there. It was right there, bitch. The Sliced Mango down. Now, I will be vulgar. I will be cussing. That's what I do anytime. But being that I am presenting myself as sliced fruit is likely that your children will be watching me. Bright colors foolishness. Now, I don't intend to on keeping the curse words to myself. I don't plan on ending my rants on dicks. So ask your kids what they're into. This club closing at 2am Bullshit is ridiculous. Like as a Miami native. A Miami. A Dade county, baby. I find it to be fuckery. What do you mean 2 o'? Clock? 2am is when we grown ass adults have to leave the club for what? We got about six more hours of, of nighttime. I thought they changed that too. Like aren't there are places that stay open, but there's so, so many parties that end at 2:00am I'm used to getting to the club at like 12:45, 1:00', clock, so. And the thing is, these holes ain't going home and going to sleep. They're going to go traipse around in the middle of the road somewhere in a K hole looking a fool and then they go to jail. So it feels like you could actually save a lot of space in the county pan if you would just keep the party going. No, they'll just do more coke and can they probably die. But that's because y' all hoes don't know how to do drugs out here. And that's no shade. I don't know how to do drugs either. I don't know how to do drugs, mommy. I never do any drugs. I just love water and Welch's fruit snacks and a balanced diet. Okay. There is a plot device in a lot of stories that I'm very, very, very, very, very, very tired of. This happens a lot in horror. This happens a lot in sci fi. And it is the idea that human beings, specifically like the United States government, would encounter some sort of powerful, deadly, otherworldly being, creature entity and be like, what if we put it in the military? What? I'm tired of it. I'm tired of it. Jurassic Park. Oh, let's just steal a Tyrannosaurus rex and fly it to Hollywood. Why? Why? It just killed 50 people like 6 months ago. Why do you want to bring it to La Brea? There are tar pits right there. Like, I don't understand what you're missing. It. We don't know anything about this shape shifting, blood thirsty, incredibly intelligent baby eating beasts from outer space. But what if it could be our pet? Let's put a leash on it. Pennywise can look like your mama. Huh? One second you're like, oh my really did have a taste for sweet tea. And the next thing you know your mother has sprouted 700 teeth and you are dead now. Sir. What? What was I watching the other day? And the same shit happened. Oh no. I was playing a game. Directive 8020. Just think the thing meets like Deep Horizon. Knees in a spaceship. Alien, right? Shape shifting monster alien on a spaceship. Killing everybody. Can look like anybody. There's this one Earth man who spoiler is like, I want to know what this being can do and if we can harness it and if not, we'll destroy it. Bishop already killed three of your homies and it looked like you. So harness. Harness What? Harness what? Bitch, you can't even find it. What are you talking about? Just run or kill it. Why do y' all want it to be Colin Powell? You. You cannot do this. The Meg. What if. What if we ride the shark? It's so stupid. Like it never makes sense. I don't know why we keep doing this. It is so unnecessary. Why would any. I mean this America would absolutely buy like 50 velociraptors and then, you know, set them free in a mosque or something. But in general, come on. That Pennywise fried me. And of course they killed all of them. You can't even kill him. It all you can really do to to Pennywise is beat his ass and you'll be like, all right, see you in 27 years, I guess. It scratches my ass every time. It makes no sense. And Fat Man Scoop, I don't care who none of these people zodiac sign is, bitch, and you can know it. Oh, God. If I could just go to one party where I do not hear fat Bed Scoop, bless his heart. Icon, legend, something to the people, community, sanctuary. Watch your zodiac sign. Watch our zodiac sign. I don't care. I don't care. Furthermore, it's two out of three, 300 niggas in here each yelling one of 12 things. So it's one of those things where you go, what's your zodiac sign? Why are we doing it? Why are we doing it? I've talked about the zodiac shit on here before and some of y' all got upset. That's fine. Upsetting people is one of my favorite things to do. I'm into some of it. I believe some of it. Not enough that we have to like show our paperwork every time we go out. Care about you all your zodiac sign. But some people do. I was watching some the other day on tv. I think it was on Bravo. One girl was lusting after this incredible like crazy looking man model or some shit like that came over, started talking to her. I think within like 30 seconds he said his sign, which I don't remember what it was. It fucking doesn't matter. As soon as he said his sign, she was like, oh, y' all are all psychopaths. You're sociopathic. I had a really bad experience with one of you guys before. You're trash. It was nice to meet you. I was like, Let's say you're. You're right. You could have at least fucked him. That got to do with the month he was born. Bitch, you could at least got some dick and been like, well, Gemini, nice to meet you or whatever. Like at that point, just like get a crystal ball, get a little tent fog machine. Like, lean in, bitch, if you're going to give me a little razzle dazzle. For those of you who don't know, I am an avid gamer and I think maybe last week there was this huge show, summer games fest where lots of new games are revealed, announced, whatever. I think that same week a God of War spinoff was announced called God of War Laufey. I think Laufei. It's a spin off of the God of War series that stars Kratos wife, the main protagonist from God of War. His wife is the main playable character in this new game. And like Clockwork Mouth Breathing Incel bastards online are like woke up. God of War is more like God of woke. Let's not play this game because why do we need to play? As a woman, I'm so sick and tired of this shit. I'm so sick and fucking tired of this shit for so many reasons. Okay, where to begin? One, don't nobody give a fuck what you think. Let's start there. Let's put a pin in that, right? I might come back to it. Don't nobody give a fuck what you talking about. That's one, two specific to this franchise, God of War. First of all, none of y' all can say shit to me about any of this gaming shit. I'm in it, been in it, right? All teeth, skin, fabric in the game. You cannot clock me. I've played every single God of War game up to this point. Even the ones on PlayStation Portable, Vita. I even played that little shitty side scrolling game that came out the other day. I've played them all. That said, you've had what, eight, nine games where you play as this ashy white man. You can't play as the character that was central to this new era. Like, the first game was basically about her being dead. Kratos and his, his son going to spread her ashes. She's like I said. So why is it a big deal if you don't want to play it? Am I on C? If you don't want to play it, don't play it. If it's not for you, it's not for you. Because guess what? They're gonna make another God of War where you get to play as that big brolic, ashy white man again. Why are you complaining, bitch? Let people have a good time. I don't understand it. And most of the time when I see people respond to why they don't like playing as women in a video game, it's because they say, like, oh, well, I can't be immersed in it because, like, I don't identify as that. I want to play a single thing that I feel like closer represents me. And first of all, you're never gonna be Duke Nukem. Like, you'll never represent you. Like, you might as well, yeah, continue to play video games because your whole mind is a fantasy. So that's 1 and B and CD. I don't remember where I'm at anymore. Just follow me. Oh, you're never going to be Duke Nukem. You're never going to be Master Chief. That's, that's that. But while we're on that subject. Let's move forward again. Here I am, you know, five foot eight, chubby black gay man, been gaming since the original Nintendo. Do you know how many macho straight white men I've played as in video games? Let's have some fun. Dante of Devil May Cry, Leon Kennedy, Chris Redfield, Marcus Fenix, the Doom Slayer, Cloud Strife. My favorite white boy, Sora from Kingdom Hearts. Did I say Nathan? Drake Guile, Ken from Street Fighter. Obviously I could continue doing this. Every protagonist in Grand Theft Auto, I've enjoyed those games because I don't have to look like that character, sound like the character, move like the character in order for me to enjoy a story or a game. So what's the issue here? If you have that much of an issue playing as a woman in a video game because you feel like it clashes with your identity, I would argue that you have an issue with your identity. Because guess what? It was not impossible for me to play Crash Bandicoot because I was like, well, I'm not a little. Whatever the fuck this thing is. Marsupial. What the fuck? What is a bandicoot, dog? Whatever the fuck. I could play it and spin around Sonic like, what is wrong with y' all bitches? What do you even be talking about? Furthermore, if you don't want to play as a girl in a video game because you have to play as a guy for whatever fucking reason, guess what? Can I put you on some gang? You wouldn't know this because women are largely allergic to you bitches. But they play video games. They play video games too. So again, maybe it's not for you, but if we rewind to my initial point, remember I said I was going to put a pin in it? Don't nobody give a fuck about what you're talking about. No body gives a fuck about what you are talking about. Especially with these tariffs and shit. Bitch. Video games cost too much anyway. Ho is nothing for you to skip one Damn sure not for me. So shut the fuck up, get on hinge, expand your horizons, touch some grass, hug a tree. I'm about to start asking y' all hoes to stand together with your hands like the end of us. Let's just all clasp hands together and make one whole line across the nation or whatever. Anything else for y' all to do but tell somebody else what games they should play. Dork. While we on the subject of video games, let's talk about the Last of Us two. You really didn't even have to play the Last of Us to. You can watch it On HBO if you want to. I wouldn't regret watching the second season, but that's separate. Those of you who played the second game, a lot of y' all were very much in your feelings, and a lot of you have now kept this giant chip on your shoulder when it comes to that development. Development team. Naughty Dog. Because of a few narrative pieces in the second game. Spoiler. Huge spoiler in the Last of Us 2, like, first hour or so of the game. First two hours of the game. Joel, the main protagonist that we all fall in love with from the first game, literally gets his head bashed in with a golf club by a brolic white woman. Some people found this to be very unexpected, and many, many, many people were irate. Many even demanded refunds. Didn't want to play the game anymore, especially because you then had to play as two women for the rest of the game. One of them a lesbian, the other one looked like a lesbian. Gamers were not having it. So I want to say to you gamers, anybody else who's played this, it is a. It is a huge title. So many. All in gamers. But few of you probably know what I'm talking about. The first game ends with joel murdering about 50 people that were working on finding a cure for this infection that has destroyed the planet. He was like, well, I'm sorry. I can't live without my little adopted white girl that I think is my daughter now, because I'm traumatized. So I'm gonna kill all you bitches. I don't give a fuck what she think, what she wants, or if she could save the world. He did the most selfish thing that you could possibly do. And you also know that he had a ton of ops. To be honest with you, I don't know how Joel lived as long as he did. Like, we had to know he was gonna get his ass fucked up. It was coming. So the fact that y' all try to take that narrative and make it, oh, the game is woke. When really you're just mad because you had to play as a lesbian. And there was also a trans character in it. I'm glad they did it, and I hope that you have cold sweats to this day about it. How. How dare they continue to tell a story with depth and nuance and sense about it? And is that in. Is that inclusivity? But you got to Call of Duty every year. Shut the fuck up and go beach your dick to that loser. There's going to be one more iOS update, and I'm going to jump I swear I'll do it. I swear I'll do it. First of all, I maybe forgot how to keep the phones from updating themselves, if that's even still possible. But I was listening to some music on my phone a few days ago, and I guess Apple Music is a DJ now. I was listening to some album, and it got to the end of the record, and so then started, like, mixing into En Vogue or some random shit. And I was like, wait a minute. I wasn't playing this. Why? Why? Why was not let. Why wasn't like, hey, kid, Capri designed the new update to. To the iPhone. Happy to have it. But here's how you can turn this shit off if you don't want to use it. I thought I, like, accidentally ate mushrooms or something. I did. Couldn't believe what the fuck was going on. And the worst part about it is it's a better DJ than a lot of y'. All. Damn. Like, so we had a DJ episode. Go back and listen to it. I respect the art. So hopefully, at least the update, for those of you who are still playing, can we talk? Back to back with Poison. Back to back with. This is how we do it. Back to back with weak. No mixing at all. Hopefully this will inspire you to give people their money's worth, because I'm gonna start throwing bar straws at y'. All. A full drink, a glass. That's, you know, grounds for arrest. Even though I could absolutely make it in county. That's a thought for another day. Like, we'll get to that one. But, girl, I would work jail out either way, do better. Hopefully this is the plan. And at the same time, Apple, calm down. Calm down. I know that you tight because we've all come to accept that you ain't going to do nothing but add five more cameras to the back of these phones. Switch the game up, sex the frame up. Give us something new. Where are the, like, holograms? Like, Star wars where you. Your mama call you, and then she's like a little blue thing that comes up, and she can see you for some reason, but she. Because she's not holding one, but she's. The hologram comes up, and they get. I don't. So, like, when you call them, do they have to answer? Like a camera? And I forgot what I was talking about. I forgot what I was talking about. Oh, them phones and the updates. You know something? I'm worried about how scamming old people is gonna look when I'm really old people. They're gonna get me they are gonna get me because it's already bad, child. Let me tell you something. Them Indians are working the set out of India. Are working the set. And with the evolution of the AI and all of these other things that I'm not keeping in keeping up with Timothy Chalamet and Kylie Jenner, like, I don't care about. I'm gonna get God. I can feel it. I'm ignorant. I'm ignorant. My bloodstream is. Is cannabis. It's curtains. It is curtains. But I could also, like, fully live out my dream and move into a cabin out in the middle of nowhere. Like that old lady in the newest Final Destination. Like, the latest Final Destination is old, traumatized white bitch. Like, lives in a cabin somewhere with a whole bunch of, like, spikes and booby traps and all that shit around it because she's trying to keep out death and I would be trying to keep out y'. All. Also, no phone. How can you scam me if I don't have a phone? Scammers find a way. I'm from Miami. I should know that. I should know that. Why do you think Miami of young has a smash hit with lyrics that go, where all my scamming ass niggas at? Spend that money fast boosting bitches. Something, something, and somebody go, y' all bad. Miami, Young Miami. Told you. Like, yeah, I'm definitely gonna get caught. Maybe I should go back home and figure out what they're doing, because Miami's gonna start it. As far as Americans go, they're gonna. They're gonna start it. It's summertime, so that should be a reminder for y' all to just y'. All. That's out on Ocean Drive, Collins, Washington. Watch, purse. Watch your wallet. I'm saying watch your boyfriend, watch your husband. Miami streets. Take all of that shit. Take all of it. I forgot what I was talking about. I think I'm done. Listen, this has been furious thoughts. I hope that you enjoyed it. I hope that you learned something from this. You probably did it because I'm not a teacher, bitch. So go call whoever the fuck it is that failed you in your state, and you whine to them about it. Ho. Also, give me a like, give me a subscribe. Hit the notification bell. I know what the bell does now. It notifies you of things. And then you can also find me at patreon.com kid fury for extra hood rat bush queen shenanigans. Take care of yourself. Spay. Neuter your spouses. I'm gonna do, like, the talk show Shape Related.
Host: CAKE MEDIA
Date: June 17, 2026
In this sharp, freewheeling solo episode, the host employs their signature blend of humor, skepticism, and cultural commentary to serve up Furious Thoughts on everything from canceled celebrities and chicken wing debates to video game discourse, club culture, and everyday pet peeves. Listeners are treated to a stream-of-consciousness take on the absurdities of pop culture, etiquette, and digital life, all delivered with wit, candor, and a healthy dose of exasperation.
On Cancel Culture:
“How the fuck I'm supposed to know every single person business and who got canceled for what? Just, like, slow down the taste. Give me a minute, all right?” — [00:36]
On Chicken Wings:
“Chicken is the answer. Drum, flat, A, sharp, B. What? I don't care. I want chicken.” — [02:38]
On Bar Line Etiquette:
“If you didn't know that, you're welcome. I am an educator. I am here to push our long game. That is not true. Please do not file any papers against me.” — [17:05]
On Superhero Names:
“So you have this rock nigga named the Thing, which I feel like has always been cruel... and then Reed is like, I'mma be Mr. Fantastic, bitch. Excuse me.” — [05:30]
On Relationship Independence:
“Let me breathe, bitch. This is the whole reason I'm outside by myself right now. So I don't have to give a fuck where that bitch at.” — [12:00]
On Video Game Backlash:
“Guess what? They're gonna make another God of War where you get to play as that big brolic, ashy white man again. Why are you complaining, bitch?” — [32:58]
On Gender in Gaming:
“You never gonna be Duke Nukem... you might as well continue to play video games because your whole mind is a fantasy.” — [34:17]
On Miami as Scam Capital:
“Let me tell you something. Them Indians are working the set out of India. ...Miami streets take all of that shit. Take all of it. I forgot what I was talking about. I think I’m done.” — [43:32]
To sum up:
This episode is a brilliantly chaotic tour of modern irritations, pop culture contradictions, and the host’s unbeatable comedic logic. With side-trips through gaming, nightlife, and the often-ridiculous debates of daily life, it's as much about permission to enjoy things (or not) as it is about calling out the ways we complicate life for ourselves and others. The language is candid, irreverent, and peppered with memorable side-eye.