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Okay, Vulnerable truth. I am very bad at staying in touch. I thought I'd start out with something deep today. Also, I think that I can't cuss in the first minute of these videos. Whatever. Listen, I'm really, really bad at keeping in touch. And it isn't. I don't have any, like, whimsical excuse for it outside of the fact that general communication gives me anxiety and more than that, the obligation to keep up a certain rhythm of communication with all of the people I have known and come to know over almost 40 years. Way too much. It's way too much. And it doesn't really stop my desire to keep in touch and speak with some of you and ask you about your children, ask you about your parents, ask you about, you know, your latest criminal charges. I want to reach out in touch and I'm working on it. I just thought that I should open up a bit more and talk about the reasons why you might not have gotten that Cinco de Mayo text or whatever. Or text back. I don't even know why we still do that. Just go get drunk. It's like we don't even. You don't have to. Has nothing to do with you. It's not a real holiday anyway. I'm getting off the point. I'm trying. I'm making an effort. Blame my head and not my heart. You know, I care about you all deeply and I don't mean to ignore anyone. I just find far more comfortable communicating with Cloud and Tifa and Aerith and Barret and Red and Yuffie and the rest of the gang. If you don't know, ask one of your kids. I just like, I have an escapism issue probably. I'm in deep therapy two, three forms. I think at this point we're getting to it. So. Love you much. Thinking of you not calling, obviously, but thinking. That felt great. I'm Kiff Fury. This is furious thoughts. Let's get started. So picture this. You're on an early, early morning flight or a super late night flight or Red Eye, right? And it's good and dark in the cabin because most of us are either just waking up and want to rest or about to go to sleep. And then here you are with your window shade wide open, blinding all of the people who are just reaching out for the warm grasp of rest. And you're like, nope, I have to read Misery at 5:30 in the morning. I feel like we should be able to take these people, open the airlock and thrust them out into the 30,000 mile altitude, air. It's just like, whatever happens, happen. I feel like there should be maybe emergency landings threatened because. What the fuck are you trying to prove, bitch? You don't have anything that important to fucking do. And I feel like it's often you. I'm always seated next to this person or across the aisle from this person, and y' all like arguing with people, and I just don't understand where you come from, where you go. I don't understand Cotton Eye Joe. I don't get it. But I feel like we should be able to fight. You, like, why do you feel like, how many people is it at a time on a. On a. An aircraft? Literally, like 200. I don't know, right? Why do you feel like you are so special that you should place everyone around you in an uncomfortable position? You're not waiting on news from the hospital about your, you know, soon to be born child or your soon to die mother. You're not doing anything important. So I really feel like there should be fines, especially in times like this. Spirit is closed. Nobody's giving away almonds. Get your shit together. I'm like, typically in these situations, I tap into my inner. I don't call her Karen. I call her Keisha. And Keisha, you know, is still waiting on her reparation. So she says wherever the fuck she wants to that I can get behind. So I tap into Keisha and I say, you know what? I'm going to buzz an attendant here and ask them to politely do the 1, 2. And usually the flight attendant, I guess, because, you know, they have the ginger ale and the little badge or whatever. Like, they will get you to typically get your shit together. But I'm gonna just start skipping over that step from now on, and I'm gonna tell you directly to your usually Caucasian eyes to shut up that blind and act like you got some sense. I don't know. I'm such a child. I just had a vision of this one. I think it was a Tweety Bird cartoon, where at the end you'd yell, turn out those lights. That's what I'm gonna do. I'm gonna get a sound bite of that Sweetie Bird line. I'm gonna put it in, like, a megaphone or something and just. I mean, if we're disrupting people, I'm gonna take my part out as well. So let this be something to think about. Y' all are probably not watching this anyway. Not your demographic, but probably, you know, maybe one of y' all can send this over to your daddy. Or whatever, because, you know, somebody who does this, and we have to put a stop to it. It's violent. Pinocchio is one of the most terrifying children's stories of all time. And I don't even know if it is meant to be all that much of a children's story more than it is a story of some Italian man who was in psychosis, probably induced by the trauma of losing their child or something. I guess it's supposed to be about kids. It's one of those, I think, folktales or fairytale stories where, like, don't lie. Supposed to rear your children for you or whatever. I didn't need, like, anansi story to tell me not to lie. My mother and her wooden breasts were enough. Um, but Geppetto was very clearly crazy, and I say that as a crazy person, so I can, for a number of reasons, right? You decided that you wanted to have a child so bad that you made one out of wood. And then he came to life, and you were like, cool. And then you gave him, like, a pet goldfish and stuff and said, oh, well, you cannot lie. Or I guess the cricket nigger was like, you can't lie. I don't even remember how that happened, but couple things. One, I know that something was wrong with Geppetto, because if I make a puppet child of any sort and they come alive, I'm killing it. Like, I'm not. I'm not gonna be like, oh, what a miracle. I'm going to kill it. I'm going to set it on fire. And the thing about the Pinocchio magic is it probably wouldn't have killed him, right? So then what you have is Annabelle, right? So I don't know that I would have even made it to the whole got no strings era of the program, because I would have killed Pinocchio the moment that bitch opened her eyes or blinked. I guess I don't know how the puppet thing works. So that's one issue. Why did you let Pinocchio live? You should have killed the bitch on sight. That's one. Two. Pinocchio here is just trying to figure out how his knees work and shit like that. His best friend is a goldfish, and he's got some. Some insect or bug. I don't know what a cricket is, with, like, aristocratic regalia, you know what I'm saying? Dressed like a snitch and telling you that you can't lie. Otherwise, I guess. I mean, your nose would grow, but that didn't seem like it would be that big. Of a deal after a while, especially since your nose is wood. Just saw some of it. I didn't really. Okay, so he told you that you can't lie. And, you know, as children who are incredibly. Who are brought up in, like, the bounds of, I don't know, like a strict, militant type of. Of environment, they rebel. And so I remember, at least from the Disney section or the Disney version of this, that Pinocchio decided he wanted to go to the ghetto and, like, hang out with these talking animals and shit like that. And, you know, that didn't work out well for him. They turned him into an ass, literally. And then he got swallowed by a whale. And then his dumb ass daddy decided he wanted to wallaby whale too. And then I just remember some shot of him laying face first in a puddle of water, very clearly deceased. So I don't know what Disney's idea was there, besides to give us all nightmares. But the Pinocchio story needs some looking into. And I believe I read that the original. The original ending of Pinocchio from, like, the author had him getting hanged by the. The fox and the cat. Are there any wholesome children stories from Disney outside of, I don't know, like, Finding Nemo, even that probably has some dark undertone. Keep swimming and swimming. Like, what? Around the drain? Drugs. I remember when I was a kid and they used to say that in Lion King, there was, like, some part where he, Simba, like, lays down on this cliff and some petals flow out into the sky. And I read somewhere, a few places as a kid that that spelled out the word sex. And, like, maybe it did, but I was 4, so wouldn't have mattered until it did. Also, Mufasa had, like, 18 bitches. They were having sex. It's not a big deal. Okay, so if you dye your dog's hair. Jail, Prison jail, Electric chair. I don't understand. Like, okay, so your dog has fur. It's theirs. And it is usually, you know, just a regular old organic earth type of a color. And you're like, no. I want for my puppies to be the Powerpuff Girls. Green and pink and blue. I saw a picture a couple of days ago. This is why I brought this up. This might have been AI. It didn't look like it was, but this was, I'm assuming, a white dog that had black stripes all over it to make it look like a zebra. That's why I'm saying I think it could have been a black dog with white stripes. I don't know. And that's not fair. Because it wasn't up to the dog to look like a idiot. So I feel like there should be. You know, if you're going to throw paint on Mary J. Blige, right, let's really get to the bottom of it. If you're like, okay, Sabrina Carpenter got on a fur dress. Let's go and throw some fucking pain on her. You should also go down to these people who have their fucking pets painted up like the Teletubbies. And you should throw paint on them, too, because that's awful. It is an awful, awful form of abuse, animal abuse and violence. Again, like, just get Pokemon, Go. Because I genuinely believe that there should be. This should be a crime. It should be a crime. The dog can't even speak up for itself and cuss anybody out and say, this is some bullshit. Every time I see it. This is also very, very prevalent here in Los Angeles. And back in my home, Houndtown of Miami, little pink purse dogs looking like a idiot. And the jail. So I was watching about five minutes of the film Mean Girls the other day while I was in a bar with a friend, because for whatever reason, they were playing mean girls in the bar. Like, full club music, bar packed, they're playing mean girls. And the gag is this is not a gay club. So I don't know what the plot was there, but I do think it's because Mean Girls is one of those movies where it can be on at any time and you'll just let it be on doing whatever, especially if you're a millennial. Anyway, I'm losing the plot. It was on in the background. I'm watching sort of like the end of the film, and it hit me that. What are the names? Janice and Damien. The two. The two individuals that Lindsay Lohan's character makes friends with. They don't take enough accountability. For me, everything was Caddy's fault because she turned into a monster. But it was a monster that they created. And it was a monster that Janice specifically manufactured because she was mad that she was a lesbian and she couldn't fuck her friend. And it's like, okay, so you wanted to turn this South African white woman into your ex friend to try and destroy her. And then when she became this bitch you hate, you were like, I'm gonna tear up your stuff and throw a painting at you and call you a bitch and drive off with my gay friend and then do what? Wear a tuxedo to prom and be like, my bad. I don't think that they took enough heat in that Situation White Tyler just went to high school and was like, here I am trying to fit in. And you came up with this insane, dubious and insidious plot and used her as a pawn for it. And because she became a bad bitch, you were like, nope, me and my greasy hair, we're mad at her too now. And did this whole humiliation ritual with her and shit like that and made her snap a bunch of. Snap this plastic tiara into 13 pieces and throw it across the fucking start across the fucking gym in the high school like their horcruxes or some shit. That was humiliating. Imagine if you lose prom queen or whatever or just don't care. You're at prom and this bitch throws a piece of plastic at you like you too. I don't care about this. I can't wait for school to be over. Liz's character went out bad, but you kind of feel bad for her, right? Because she's African. Like white African. You know what I'm saying? Hey, family, this is Kid Fury coming to you in a moment of truth. I have been spending a little too much money on cool anime lady figurines. And while I do not regret it, someone has to do something about it. And I believe that someone is Rocket Money. You see, with Rocket Money, I can set budgets and goals, get personalized insights and regular reports, and I can receive real time alerts for large transactions, upcoming bills, refunds, and low balances. Which essentially means that there are no further excuses for my foolishness. Users who create a financial goal with Rocket money save over $70 on an average within the first 30 days. And I would like that, thank you very much. Rocket Money can also track subscriptions and has the ability to cancel unwanted ones within the app with just a couple of taps, saving users over $880 million in canceled subscriptions. So all of those educational tarot card apps that I have on my phone that I' not using, we can help save my life and my pockets with Rocket Money. Rocket Money is a personal finance app that helps find and cancel unwanted subscriptions, monitors your spending, and helps lower your bills so you can grow your savings. Let Rocket Money help you reach your financial goals faster. Join@RocketMoney.com Furious that's RocketMoney.com Furious RocketMoney.com Furious Go get your Rocket Money on and let them know Kid Fury said hi. Okay, so I'm at a place in my life where I've decided that I'm not going to be clapping for public proposals like you propose to somebody out in public and they say yes, and everybody start cheering. This isn't the Lion King on Broadway. I don't give a about these. Especially now when I, like, I super don't believe you. You know, like, I have no faith in your relationship. You barely do. So I'm not going to, like, interrupt my. My T bone steak with my side of mash to clap for you. Like, first of all, you could have done better. Why the are you proposing a Cheesecake Factory? Furthermore, even if we are on the moon isn't about you. And why do we have to clap? Why do we have to clap? Think about that. Think about that. Here you are at palace in Miami or whatever, being all gay, and you're like, okay, here these two queens go. They just, you know, here's a pros. And I said yes. And I guess you feel like, oh, marriage equality. These divorce rates are still these divorce rates. And them queens are absolutely hitting the streets. Only time will tell when that takes place. So, like, do I have to clap for you when I know the truth? Let's be honest. Ain't nobody staying married these days except for, like, our parents. And that's only because they too stubborn. They just from a different generation where they'll just kill each other, you know, before they separate. We're all whimsical and all about, you know, living life for the day or whatever. Don't nobody stay married. Does that sound bitter? It can't be, because I don't give a fuck about being married. I think I'm just being observant anyway. Even if you are, you know, magic and cookie, I don't give a fuck. I'm not copying for you. God bless. Congratulations. If, you know, if the person says yes or whatever. But to be honest, what is my hand clap gonna do for you? Matter of fact, now that I think about it, y' all who do go and propose at, like, Prime 112 or whatever, you want us to clap like, you. You're doing it in a, like a place like that. Cinderella's castle, whatever, because you want the applause to be a part of the experience. And for that reason alone, I won't be doing it because if that's the case, I should be getting some sort of a payment for it. Like you should be doing. At least pay for my. For my meal. If we're down to the Disney World, I guess you could buy me, like an Incredibles hoodie or something. But why should I add to the ambiance and the splendor of this lie and get nothing? Think. Think about it think about the person that you just divorced or divorced. Got divorced from. Think of that person who did this that you. That is in your past. You give a about the applause that took place. You don't saw a trailer for a new shark horror movie. And once again, I. My mind can't help but think if sharks knew about the awful propaganda surrounding them that exists in. In the Hollywood industry, I feel like they would just kill us, you know, because they're fish and they be kicking it, you know, most of the time. From what I Learned watching many YouTube videos and national Geographic and reading. Sharks aren't interested in just chowing down on human flesh. And most of the time when they see us, they wish that we would go away. Or they're like, hey, what is this? Are the McRibs back? Is this a new menu on the Chipotle is a new item on the Starbucks. Let me go and check out what this is. And then they might take a bite out of you and be like, oh, this is disgusting. And then some like sharks are not just looking out for any human they possibly can to fuck your day up again. Most often than more often than not. If you're around them, you're fucking up their day. So I think it's incredible that we still have these films that make sharks out to be these terrifying monsters that want to kill you, baby. Have you heard of humans? Yeah, they're. They're the real razor sharp monsters. Now I say that again as someone I believe said on the podcast not too long ago. The deep ocean. For what? Yeah, for what? I. I believe that that is theirs. That is theirs. I'll probably go swimming in the ocean again at some point because I did enjoy it at some point in the past. But it's not even sharks that scare me about swimming out in the deep ocean just as much as everything. Everything. How do I know it won't be the day that Godzilla gets up and we don't know much about him or her. We don't know much about Gojira. So like the behavior patterns of. Of Gojira could be like unpredictable. That's terrifying. Cthulhu. Christ. Just one look at that bitch will just drive you insane. So I would I just. The deep ocean altogether. Not my business. Not your business. I was going to make a political joke, but let's just keep it evergreen. I really missed the days where voice actors would change their voice. I guess I grew up on his name. Mel Blanc. All the Looney Tunes icons. Well, the like two Looney Tunes I was like two white men, that voice everybody. But you know, like they had different voices. Cree Summers is an excellent example of this. How even, even like Regina Hall, Regina King, both of them. Shit. Listen, I miss when animated film and animated television had characters where the actors played around with their voices and did something fun. When I go and watch Toy Story and the new toy opens their mouth and it's fucking, I don't know, Kodak Black or whatever speaking, I'm immediately taken out of the experience because why is that little green army man Kodak Black? You know what I mean? Like, sure, it could be funny, but I don't need. I think that the, the industry is now selling animated films to us by going, and this one's Scarlett Johansson. So it's a snake. It could have been any body. It could have been my mama. As long as it sounds like, you know, why do you need for these raccoons and gerbils and droids and stuff like that to sound like the whole cast of the Avengers? Just let them be what they are. But you know what? I guess I am being old and not minding my business because your 4 year old toddler doesn't know that this is Chet Hanks or whatever. I don't give a. As long as I think it's funny. And it doesn't even have to be funny as long as something is farting and it's colorful, your kids are probably gonna have a great time. I went to Universal Studios Hollywood for the first time, oh, maybe like two years ago actually, and I got one of the little like tour thingies so you could just walk around and get on all the rides and go see all the experiences. One of the first things that they took us on was, what the fuck is this thing called? The Secret Life of Pets. And the tour guide was like, you know, this is really for the kids. And there were quite a few in our group, but she let me know. You're like, this is pretty much like a kid's ride. It was the dumbest shit I've ever seen in my life. It was so fucking. I don't even understand how a 3 year old would have a good time in there. It was animatronics that are maybe a couple steps above Chuck E. Cheese. Just, it was so boring. And when I got to the end of that ride, I was like, children are so fucking stupid. They have no taste. There's. Oh, and then you walk through a little souvenir thing and then they want you to spend $500 on stickers of that Dumb shit that they just saw. What a racket. In light of a particularly famous woman telling everybody their business about how they're sort of kind of famous now. Ex boyfriend cheated on them. I want to say this, the idea or narrative of how could this person cheat on blank? Because Blank is incredibly sexy or successful or whatever. Let's not act like we're not like, let's not act like we're in junior high, okay? People cheat because they wanna, they want to. I don't know why we're still gagging about super fine people getting cheated on. After Halle Berry. It should have just been like, okay, let's have a conference. Let's sit together with a seminar and address what's really going on here. So this I think speaks more for me to the idea that you need to just go into relationships of any kind, confident about who you are and what you want and wide open verbal about those things. When the cheating does happen, if the cheating does happen, you might not take it as personally and you will probably be better prepared to acknowledge it and move on with your life. But this idea of like, oh, I'm a bad bitch or I'm this type of dude and so how could anybody cheat on me? Easy. They just gotta go outside. But first of all, newsflash, incredibly fine people. You're not the only incredibly fine person. And you probably. There's probably somebody just like in a, I don't know, 4 to 5 square mile radius that's finer than you. Either way, temptation and trust is a thing there. So if somebody cheated on you with your fine ass, it was probably for a few different reasons. It could be a. They just have a terrible time with temptation, AKA can't, won't. And sometimes it's deeper than that. Sometimes it's a lack of security in the relationship that you have and not being prepared to be in a committed relationship or an honest relationship. Some people just like cheating because they think it's fun. Does that have anything to do with you? And oh, wow, am I really tired of bitches being like, well, how could you? Because they're so fine. So you think, as you find a nigga can't break your heart, bitch, you better wake up and pay attention. What did Eve say? It'll take over your mind. Elevate and find. Elevate and find. And that's exactly what Eve did. She got like a white million billionaire husband now. I think he's British. Eve said, these paw prints on my titties and all of that rough riding shit. Okay, I'M I'm drinking the Queen's tea in it. I'm not mad at that. I'm not mad at that. Have I spoken on here yet about my theory that my husband is in South London or West London? Probably have. If I have it, let me know. I'll break it down. The science of it. The idea that beauty fades after a certain age is complete foolishness. The constant ranting and just complete cockeyed foolishness about, oh, this person looks so great for their age. To say, oh, look at this person at 50 or 60 and just hot as ever. Yeah, there are people who go into the ground good looking. I don't like. What age do you feel like is the age where it. It's like, oh, wow, you're still good looking is like, can, can you think of a number where it's like, this is the age where typically you shouldn't be fine no more. It doesn't make any sense. I don't know if it's. I don't say. I don't know if it's a gay thing, but I don't know how that would make any sense. I just. I could probably name drop a few men and women who are like in their late 50s, 60s, mid-60s, who are inarguably gorgeous, like miles ahead of your 25, 30 year old ass. So I think that for some of us, if we would maybe take a break from the hookah lounge every weekend, if we would maybe stop arguing with bitches who we shouldn't be paying attention to, maybe if there was water and sleep, then we might be better prepared for looking decent in the future. And I said we. I am part of this problem. But I'm sure that Angela Bassett and Shirley Ralph are eating their vegetables, going to sleep on time, drinking water and staying prayed up. So should it be shocking that they're still fine? It isn't. I think this, we should just get into the fact that old people could be fine too. And also, what is old? Well, I can answer that part, but I think that you know what I'm saying. I think you know what I'm saying. Maybe it's also because I watched the Golden Girls. This is. I also watched the Golden Girls because all of them are fucking weekly. Weekly. They'll put them sequin shoulder pads on and spread that coochie outside. So what's the difference, you know? I forgot what I was talking about. I did. I remember. I just forgot where I started and why. All right, let's move on. I think I've kind of picked at this topic before, but I'll just say it now in case I didn't accept people coughing without covering their mouths pre Covid. That's always been a problem. Germs, disgusting, bad manners, all of these things. You know, I don't believe in yawning without covering your mouth, but that's, I suppose, just the way that I was raised post Covid. I'll cut you. I'll cut you. If we're going to just be. If we're going to have your. Your inside parts and bodily fluids just spreading around the place, then let's just add your blood to it. I'm going to cut you. Because at this point where we still have the COVID and now you know, everything coming back. Diphtheria, monkey pox, whooping cough, black plague. Why are you playing with me? Why are you playing with me? And I feel like the ones, those of you who do it are the same people who walk around airport barefoot. Y' all are the same people who don't wipe down gym equipment after you use it. Y' all the same people who don't wash your legs and the same people who eat off the floor. And the fascinating thing about being that person to me is that you ain't dead. So if you are, if you're going to continue acting like this, at least start a TED talk. Write a lengthy book about how you're still alive. Because I assume it's evil. Everyone knows evil does not die, right, Donald? There's actually no reason that man should still be alive. None. Donald Trump will like the grapefruit that you're never going to pick up at the grocery store. Because why is it even still on display? You know, like, oh my. They Ralph should have threw that away. Not knowing how someone is going to react to something should not prevent you from being that something. Saying that something, doing that something. First of all, are you Ms. Cleo? Are you Whoopi Goldberg and Ghost? Are you Jean Grey? You don't know what the fuck somebody is gonna do. You don't know what a person is going to say. And even if you have a good idea of what a response will be, should that prevent you from doing the right thing? So who's the shitty bird in this situation, huh, Dear? I'm sorry. I'm just really tired of people running around to everybody to talk about an issue they have with somebody. Everyone besides that somebody. Oh, well, I don't want to say anything because you know this and you know they. They're gonna this. Do we Know, I don't think I know anything besides the fact that you SC. Closed mouths, don't get changed. You don't get what you need, you don't get what you want, you don't get what you see. If you just shut your ass up all of the time that comes with having difficult conversations. And I think that if you can't trust that you can have a difficult conversation with somebody that you care about, then you probably shouldn't have somebody around anyway. Huh? I believe in arguing. Let me rephrase that. I believe in difficult conversations, and I believe that arguments from difficult conversations don't have to be the red wedding. You know, it's not that big a deal. Sometimes you can even fuss with somebody and not speak to them after for a while. Cool off, come back together, assess the situation, rebuild, heal, run off into the horizon, hands clasped. But if you just run into the group chat every time that you want to complain about somebody, bitch, you're part of the problem. And you can kiss both of my feet. That made it sound like that was personal. It really wasn't the kiss my feet part. I just didn't know how to round that out. It's called furious thoughts. Okay. It's not called furious prepared statements. Okay. I hope I don't get in trouble for this one. I will just say that I'm going to my next therapy session. I'm going to ask my. I'm going to ask my doctor if. If we can figure out if I'm neurodivergent. And the only reason that I want to do that is because I guess everybody is every. Like all y' all have discovered this word, I guess, from TikTok or something, and now everybody is saying that they're neurodivergent. Maybe that's how it works. Or maybe it's just one of those things that everybody's saying now because it's trendy or it's like a meme. And if that is the case, I have a particular umbrage and frustration with it because let people with. Let people with mental health issues, disorders just have them without you trying to co opt their. Their struggle. Bitch, you don't need a medication or some sort of deep therapy for it. Then just shut your ass up, put on SportsCenter and be quiet, bitch. Or the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills. Probably that, but again, don't fry me if I'm wrong here. I don't know how this particular thing works, but I'm certain a lot of y' all are misusing it same way that you say, oh, I'm a nympho. No you're not. No, you're not. Nymphomania destroys people's lives. You're just a hoe. And that's fine, you know what I'm saying? Like it's 2026, baby. They got whole parades and shit for hoes. So just say that. Say that. Yeah, I'm done. That was my furious thoughts for this evening, this noon, this morning coming to you live from sunny Los Angeles, California, and hopefully being broadcast far into the far, far reaches of the universe. And the reason I say that is because if anyone is out there and listening, feel free to come pick me up. Feel free to come and pick me up. It is so ghetto here and I'm really tired of it. I don't know what anybody's doing and nobody else knows what they're doing. So. You know horror. I've always talked about how much I love horror films too. Scariest movies to me are disaster films, because why not? I mean that could happen. And what are any. What anybody's going to do about it, you know? So I think before the planet erupts into a flaming ball of death and hatred, if someone could just come in and pick me up. I really don't even care what kind of life form you are. Independence Day arrival, Mars attacks, whatever you got, just come scoop me. You know, I'll do the probing thing. I've been doing it here for a few years anyway and yeah, let's get to it. I'll tell you all about these, these people, as much history as I can can give you. And yeah, you know, here on Earth we have something called baddies. It's trash television. So Earth is pretty much that but in like the universe. So I could kind of like transcribe that for you and give you guys like an entertainment television. Maybe we could do like a, an adaptation, an alien adaptation of Earth. And you know, I have lots more ideas of how I can fit into your culture, species, planet, world and woo. You can go ahead and blow this shit up after if you want to. You can't. Well, let me know if I can bring my mama and my daddy and my dog and my PlayStation and then you do whatever you want. I think these white people are investing in bunkers now anyway, that's why they want us all to be, you know, Paul. So I lost the plot there again. I don't remember what I was talking about. I think I was ending this whole thing. Listen, if you're watching this on YouTube. Click the button that says, like, I think it looks like this and there's a bell. I don't know what the bell does, but I'm told you're supposed to click on that as well. And then also click subscribe. This way you can be in tune with all of my ridiculous black ass gay ghetto antics and opinions and you can share them with your parents to help get them all progressive and stuff. This is the last program you should share to your parents that need to be progressed. Please don't ever do that. We need all the help we can get. Anyways, I'm hope. I hope you had a good time. I had a great time and I think I'll see you in a bit, probably right after this. If not tough. Hello, it is I, Kid Fury, coming back to you with a theorist thought of mine. This is for a segment that I call Ain't that a Pitch. Ain't that a Pitch? Is a segment where I am going to come up with a random idea that I have try to pitch it to you. Hopefully it's an idea that you like, maybe something that we can actually make and you'll give me money for. Probably not. Today I want to pitch a new Disneyland park in Africa. Disneyland, Africa. Because I looked this up a few times and I do not believe Africa has a Disney park, which is pretty fucking wild. So I think we should get started. Now, before I break down some of the ideas here, I would like to first give the disclaimer that I have not been to my homeland yet. So there are going to be probably some things here that will be left out because I don't know. So I won't say where this particular park should be because I don't want any of y' all to get mad at me and I don't know any better. So we'll just say the whole continent, wherever you feel like it should be best. Because Disney World is in Kissimmee, Florida. Don't know. I know where the fuck that is. It's just this. So wherever, you know, wherever works best. I think it should be huge. I think it should be one of the biggest parks for Disney in the world. Because why not? So let's get down to attractions, shall we? Now, the main reason I would like a Disney Land. Disney World in Africa. Wakanda. Disney owns Marvel. Marvel is Wakanda. Wakanda. I think that we need. Look, Harry Potter got about two worlds across. I think two different parks. I think Universal or whatever, they got a world. Dr. Seuss got a world And I mean, I, I, I just, I can't keep up with all these different. I think there's like a whole dreamworks one. Yeah, that's where the Dumbass Pets ride was. I think there's a despicable, despicable me world. Nintendo World. You see what I'm getting at? I think there should be a Wakanda World in Disneyland, Africa. It should bring all these sorts of things to life. In fact, Disneyland here in California has an amazing Dora Milaj show that takes place there. I've seen it a couple times. It's fantastic. So we already got an attraction for the Wakanda World there. I think there should be another live show within the Black Panther World, the Wakanda World. Something in that, like, mystical spiritual world that he goes, maybe a nice play there or something like that. Obviously, we have to have a ride. What that ride would look like. You know what? It could be cool if that ride was something like the. The epic chase scene from the first Black Panther film. And it has to come with Danai Gurira leaping over one car to the next and shoving a spear into this one car, making it flip over. Now, that could be cg, could be practical effects. Could actually kill people, for all I care. I just want, you know, the majesty and might Kimoyo beads. Get them decorated. Let them actually have holographs come from them, and maybe we can call, I don't know, the Wu Tang Clan on them, because you can go to. You can go to Disney here and make a lightsaber. I did that. It was really fun. So that sounds like a good idea, right? And then more than that, I think it should be a situation where why people can't come just us, because that's what makes sense. And I'm really excited to see how that would work out. Obviously, we need a Chadwick Boseman statue. I would put an Angela Bassett statue up there as well. And I would put a Winston Duke museum in there as well. What else do we have in Disneyland Africa? Well, we have the Lion King show, the live Lion King show. That's existed in Disney for quite some time. Why not put it there as well? Fits the motif, and it's an excellent program. I would also put a Wreck It Ralph World. Now, the centerpiece for this world would be its majestic, colorful, and childlike go kart race ring. Track. Track. Go kart track. Because I think that's what he did in Rekraut. I haven't seen it in a long time. I think a little white girl races or whatever, right? So that. And then like numerous candy stores because I think candy was also a thing. And then like, I don't know, an Internet cafe. I'm spitballing at this point, but Wreck It Ralph, I think Wreck It Ralph is a pretty big property. I don't think they've done World or anything there either. What else? Atlantis. It is high time that Walt Disney, with his dead ass, put the energy up into the Lifestream to finally bring honor and respect to Disney's Atlantis. What the fuck is. It's a fantastic film. It's an amazing film. There should be a live action. There should be. There was a sequel. It was fine. There should be much more to Atlanta. So I would also be doing an Atlantis ride. I'd probably try to make a world for that as well. We'd have a ride that exists under underground. I would maybe do this one CG style, sort of like the Harry Potter ride where the spider comes out and you're flying around and shit. Maybe not. There should be like the underground tunnel thing trying to find Atlantis. And that one, you know, sexy Latin chick is like, oh, what the are we doing here? More coal or whatever. I don't remember. Her job was. And the one who looks like a mole is there. Just all the characters. And then we have to have another ride in like Atlantis proper with them bikes. Now obviously these wouldn't be actual hovercraft bikes unless we have the technology for it at the time. But. But yeah, I think it has to be like sexy ladies like the princess who ride you around on their flying bikes. Or maybe it could be more like that terrible 20,000 Leagues under the Sea ride. I can't believe that ride scared me as a child. It's just a dirty pool with some plastic toys in it. What else do we have? Disneyland Africa. We have to have jollof, right? So Mickey Mouse head shaped jollof for. For the kids, for everyone, I mean. And also the. The restaurant within the park that serves the Mickey Mouse Jollof also has to have like a raised stage off to the side with a seating area so people can get together and argue about which country in Africa makes the best jollof. Cause you can't eat jollof and not argue. I guess. So that would be there as well. Do I have any other ideas? I said white people can't go. That's what I've got, girl. What else should we do? Does Princess Tiana have a ride? Well, I don't want us to be black just for the sake of being black. But also I said, Ralph, I said, you know, Atlantis is next. Yeah, let's go ahead and give to Princess Tiana a full fledged ride. I think one of the Disney parks has like a beignet place or something for lying, eating no damn beignet at Disney World. Like this Disney World ain't in New Orleans. Let's be for real. But I would probably give her like a. Maybe like a little boat ride or one of those like Splash Mountain style rides. Something with the. The alligator and the. There was like a lightning bug or something in that. And then lastly, I would. I would heavily invest in. In a section for inside out. 1000% perfect film, perfect sequel. Sequel. Even better. Hopefully they'll have a number of other sequels because it's just that good. We need the rides. We need the rides. And Inside out has a million of those things anyway. Ride down like all the little chutes and ladders within someone's mind and the merch outside of that. We'd have all of the emotions, little plushies. We'd have like little glowing orbs that I think have your feelings and shit in them. And we'd have. The elephant would walk around there. I can't remember the elephant's name. The elephant in the pouch would be the mascots. I forgot about fucking mascots, my nigga. I forgot about the mascots. I would want like some. Some companion animals that we haven't had mascots for. Oh, the pig from Moana. A Moana ride. Loki. No, no. Pacific Island. Let them have it. You know, that feels a little inappropriate. Is that inappropriate? The pig from Moana. How would they do a hummingbird? The hummingbird from. Actually the hummingbird from Pocahontas. Only because that doesn't make sense. And it would be really, really funny if this person is sweating to death in this costume with these wings that do this and then two long legs sticking out of the back, the bottom of it like a hummingbird. Flamingo. That would be awesome. Who else? Who else? The goldfish from Pinocchio. We spoke about that. Again, with legs. Hilarious. And ooh, now that I think about it, hat on a hat. Put Pleasure island or whatever the theme park is from Pinocchio in that park as well. And that's for the section of the park where people who don't want their kids anymore just leave them there and go home and let the elements take them. I'm honestly, I'm here all night. The thing about that last part was it was really, really powerful and it was kind of like a. You know, it was kind of like a right hook that you didn't see coming, right? But think about it. How many times have you parents been to a theme park, been to an amusement park, been outside with your kids, and it was supposed to be a wonderful family event, but then it quickly turned into a situation where you realize you wish you never had this bitch. So imagine if in that same theme park, there was a place where you could just drop them off and introduce them to a donkey and then never see them again. Go get you some Jollof and go home. I aced this. I think that this is a really great idea. I think there was a lot of really powerful things to pull from here. And Disney, I will only be asking for a couple of cool million. You have it. And then a plaque, a plaque in the. In front of the event space doesn't even need to have my face or anything on it. It should just say, wow, Kid Fury got another one. And then 1987. That's when I was born. So I'll be waiting by the phone. Don't take too long.
Podcast: Furious Thoughts
Host: Kid Fury (CAKE MEDIA)
Date: May 19, 2026
In this episode of Furious Thoughts, Kid Fury delivers an entertaining blend of personal confessions, pet peeves, sharp critiques of pop culture, and absurdist pitches for new theme park attractions. As always, the commentary is unfiltered, witty, and packed with memorable one-liners. Topics range from the anxiety of keeping in touch, the horrors of fur dye on pets, and the insanity of public proposals, to spirited takes on Pinocchio, “Mean Girls,” theme park rides, and the never-ending chaos that is life in 2026. The show closes with an elaborate, tongue-in-cheek pitch for “Disneyland Africa.”
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[44:33–END]
“Do I have any other ideas? I said white people can’t go. That’s what I’ve got, girl.” (00:52:10)
“Disney, I will only be asking for a couple of cool million. ... It should just say, wow, Kid Fury got another one.” (00:53:49)
Candid, irreverent, and riotously funny, Kid Fury fuses sharp cultural observations with equal parts shade and care. The show’s language swings between heartfelt and outrageous, always grounded in Fury’s distinctive, no-nonsense perspective.
“Fur Dye Belongs In Hell” is textbook Kid Fury: honest, hilarious, chaotic, and bursting with unpredictable cultural critiques. Whether he’s criticizing dyed purse dogs, throwing shade at public proposals, or conjuring up a Black Panther–themed Disneyland in Africa (with a side of jollof debates), the episode is an unfiltered ride from beginning to end. Fans of rants, pop culture, and inventive absurdity will find plenty to enjoy.