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I' ma hold your hand when I say this one. This is for all of you astrological freaks out there. And I know that there are many. I don't even have a problem with your cuckoo bird ass. Shit. I actually lean into. I lean into it sometimes. What I'm tired of is first meeting Someone and in 5 minutes, 10 minutes. What's your sign? You tell them and then they go, bitch, are you cool? Are you okay? You dizzy? You need some water? Is your mouth dry? What's the problem? What's your first name again? What's your last name again? I don't give a fudge what moon is in alignment with what planet. Bitch, you're not going to turn your nose up in scorn to me. To me as if I asked my Jamaican mama and daddy to just make sure that I was born at any motherfucking time. I don't even know what the fuck I'm doing here now. So who are you to judge me? What is your sign? There must be a league of ungrateful, judgmental, backwards ass bitches. Tell me what your sign is. Ho to that? I'm tired of it. Like, it plucks me every single time. Like, not every single one of us wake up and look at our horoscope and then continue our day based on whatever the fuck that app said. Like here in Clarissa Explains it. Goddamn all you need to calm down because now I'm gonna start yelling y' all in your face. And then we could just see what Saturn and Pluto have to say about that. Oh, yeah, I'm Kefiry. Thank you for coming back to furious thoughts. Let's get started. Being rude to unhoused people is the biggest turn off in the absolute world. My God. Like, being rude or dismissive to a person who is unhoused is the is just like a glaring red siren that someone ain't shit. And I don't need them anywhere near me or in my life. Because where the fuck do you get off? Especially in 2026 where we are all just a white man of decision away from being outside. And now we outside. I mean outside outside. Nowhere else to go, bitch. So how dare you? And you ain't about to do nothing in here but buy some sour cream and onion chips and some magnums that you know you can't fit. You know they're too big and you doing that for your ego. And you can't set yourself aside to just be nice. I'm telling you that some of you need to, like, reach out to your parents or Whoever your guardian was and ask them to re raise you. Just like put in a request and say, hey, can we start over? Because clearly there's some shit that I missed and wonder we can work that out and put it into my schedule. I just watched this movie called undertone and horror movie sound. Whatever part of the film they sing Baa, baa, black sheep quite a lot. Won't say why. Spoiler whatever. That's not the point. I went back and I started listening to Baa by black Sheep again, like really analyzing it. And isn't it profoundly racist? Like, hold on. Okay. Baa, baa, black sheep. Two things. Why are you saying baa baa to me? Like that feels like a little bit like you could just say, hey, black sheep. Greetings, black sheep. Baa, baa. It feels to me like when somebody comes up over to me is like, hey, homie or ooh, girl. All right, it's fine. That's black sheep. Have you any wool? Okay, so out of all the white sheep in this field, grazing, do whatever the fuck sheep doing, you brought your shepherd ass over here to ask me for my wool and then, yes, sir, I have three full bags of them bitches. Not one, not two, but this negro sheep was giving them three, three full bags of his black ass wool and literally called them massa. One for the master, one for the dame, the black one. One for a little boy who lives down the lane. Do you even know this nigga? I gotta give him wool too. I don't understand. It doesn't make any sense to me. And certainly it's like an old ass song because, you know, obviously it's racist. But I'm just like, hey, why don't we talk a bit more about that poor black sheep and how they were absolutely torn apart, literally. So why people could just go around and be like, oh, you don't have this, this fresh off the Runway coat. Furthermore, it's the same damn tune as Twinkle Twinkle Little Star and abcdef. God damn, G. So you're co opting that to. I just feel like Baba Black Sheep is like, it's like Jack Harlow again. If you know, you know, Bob, Bob Blacker sheep, Jack Harlow. I'm on your ass for the rest of your damn life. All right, so sharing beds as a couple, it has to be like a first or second date discussion. I really think that we need to just come out and start talking about the things that we want and the things that we require. I don't, I don't ever, ever really want to Share a bed with a nigga. And I think. I think maturity and being truly grown is accepting that and saying it out loud. There's too much going on. I know how I like to sleep. I know how I want my bedroom thing to be, you know, And I can be locked in like, oh, my goodness. Every hour with this nigga is a treasure. And this is the rest of my life. Soul mate. What does it have to do with my bed or a good night's sleep? Like, why are we required to share the motherfucking bed? You remember, like, back in, like, the. The black and white I Love Lucy days and shit before that, when. Why people have one bed here and one bed there? How did we get to this sharing a bed thing? Because I don't even want two beds in the same room. I want my room with my things and you over there. He has his towels, I have my towels. Too much going on. And everybody sleeps differently. Everybody is a mix match of all kinds of shit when it comes to sleepiness. Some people want the light on, some people want the light off. Some people want a TV on, some people on the TV off. Some people don't even put a damn TV in a bedroom because what's the point? Some people are restless, you know, sleepers, just moving around like Tickle Me Elmo just, like, knocked out. Some people snore incredibly, incredibly loud. I'm reading myself there. Some people, you know, just have to be the little spoon. Have to be the small spoon, the big spoon in the middle of the night. And as if that is not hot. It's hot. I don't give a fuck if I lived in an igloo, bitch. I feel like I would be warm. I don't have to, like, can't we just hug up on each other during the day? We supposed to be sleep. How the fuck I don't even give a fuck if I could feel you if I'm in my head, bitch. Why some people fart just all the live long night. Why should we? And then you're considering. Consider all of those possibilities, right? Because this is math. All of those possibilities and the ratio divided by PI, right? There's two people in this bed. You got all these possibilities. It's chaotic. Who knows? Who knows, right? I'm here, you there, the sun comes up. What's breakfast? Love you so much. Go to work. I feel like y' all should be talking about this up top because I feel like maybe some of y' all wouldn't even get divorced. Okay, I'm getting too Far in your business. Never mind. This is one that genuinely hits me in the brain on a regular basis. I know. Pigs be so tired that they can't look up. Can you imagine? Like, that is. That is just really, really fucking unfortunate. Talk about them rolling around and shit. Because, like, they love shit. Maybe they just want to see the sky. That's horrendous, bitch. Imagine if you couldn't look up, especially today. Like, we need this full view of the sky, bitch. So I'm just like, if I couldn't. Actually, I guess I don't look up that much, huh? But I have the option, you feel me? Like, I can look up if I want to. Pigs probably just with every human farmer child in their life. Like, ooh, bitch, I wish I could just take a gander upside so I could roll my eyes at this bitch. Like, who gives a fuck? So what if I want eight meals a day? Bitch, you have eight meals a day, and I'll say shit to your large ass. So why the fuck I just. Ooh, If I could look up and just cut an eye. If I could roll my eyes at you, bitch. I know. Pigs be so tired of everybody else. Like any other human living thing, Any living being rather. This is a tough life. That's a tough life. So is all the pigs out there. Not the ones on West Hollywood. I'm talking about living the animal. I'm thinking of you. Keep up alive. Why are people still referring to Beyonce's B as bae? Like, why are people still pronouncing B E y B at this point? Are you trying to be funny? How. How is that bae? In which world? It doesn't look like espel bae and her name is Beyonce. Why are you saying bae? We have that as a word. And you don't use that right either. It's B. She says it on the songs. What planet are you on? This isn't. Even though, like, Stan shit. Obviously, y' all know that I love Beyonce. This is genuinely about words. This is about pronunciation. Bae. I don't call Steph Curry Steve Curry. Like, y' all don't even try. Makes me genuinely sick because you have to, like, you have to fall over and trip over so many hurdles and be like, oh, I didn't feel it. I'm going to keep running. How did. How do you. Okay, that's probably gonna be something I bring up again because it is just so fascinating. This one is. Is really personal. This one is dedicated to whatever flop ass bitch that live on my floor that don't know how to use a trash sheet. It is oh so simple. There are no children that live nowhere near me. Because you. If you know anything about me. Why would I do that? So I'm just so confused as to why I, an adult, like every other adult here, go to throw out my trash daily basis, and somebody's trash is sitting there looking at me like, kirby, hi. How. What is. What's the problem? What are you like? I don't know if I. If I'm living near, like a germaphobe or something, but. But I feel like even if I were, I wouldn't inconvenience people. Put on some gloves or something and throw them sh. Away. I don't understand. One time I went to the trash chute and there was a. I shit you not. It was a whole box of pizza. Like a. A pizza box in the trash chute, crust and all, sitting in that bitch. After I saw Domino's or whatever the fuck, looking at me in the trash chute, I had to say, okay, this isn't a Karen thing. This isn't a Karen thing. This isn't a Karen thing. You've let this fly four months at this point. Now it's getting egregious. Now it's getting violent. I damn sure sent an email in. I almost got like a blonde pixie cut. I didn't give a fuck about that. You know, at that point. It's ridiculous. And I told them, look, there are no children no nowhere near here. Now you tell these nasty ass, immature bitches that they better know exactly how to throw their fucking garbage away. A. A piece of shoe can't. A piece of box can't go down the damn chute. So what? Now you're clogging the trash chute because you're. What. What's going on in your brain? You got vertigo? You can't. Like, are you. Are you okay? That's 1. 2. Crust. Crust in the box. Do you know how hard I've worked for so long to not be nowhere near mice and roaches? The best part about this is that I don't know which person is doing it because then obviously it will go to a different place. But my God, it's so simple. Whoop. Whoo. Oh, my God. I've said this a few times in front of a microphone, in front of a camera, and I'll probably say it for as long as I feel it, which will probably. Which will probably be forever. I never need to hear Poison by Belle Bib devoe. A game in my life every time I am anywhere. Club, cvx, cvs, club, anytime. I'm anywhere from the club to a cvs, to my mama house, the beach, wherever the fuck library. And I hear, girl, I must. I don't need a warning. She don't need a warning. Please shut the fuck up. I never want to hear this song again. And it is not about the song. It's fantastic. It is not about the artist. Legendary. It is the fact that you force it onto me everywhere that they play music. And I need a break. I need a break. If I'm in fucking Shady Pines with dusted ankles. I still don't know if they play Poison at the nursing home. I'm pulling my own plug. I'm over it. They have other songs. Next time you have the ox, think, okay? Make good choices. Make wise decisions. Poison is not one of them. It's called Poison. You shouldn't even want it. Y' all get on my nerves. I'm not even gonna hold you. I don't know what the fuck a hollowback girl is, but I might be one. Follow me. What was Gwen Stefani talking about or doing? No Doubt was a great band. Huge fan. Even that ska you riding a tricycle with Kimani Marley or whatever. The music, we liked it. We love the band, whatever. Gwen Stefani. Oh, cool. Alt pop, punk rock artist. Then she started wearing beanies and crop tops with crisscross TLC elite ass jeans with the fucking Hanes draw showing and talking about she's not a hollaback girl. First of all, man, what the fuck is that? What is what? A hollaback girl. Of course you're not a hollaback girl. You shouldn't say that. The hollaback has absolutely nothing to do with you. And who are these Asian women? Who are these Asian women? Where did you find these. These hoodright Asian women? And why do they all have to be Cajun? And then it was like the Kawaii shit. Whatever the fuck. Gwen Stefani has surfed through so many different cultures, ethnicities and their sounds, looks and so on. And now I think she's like, second life saved. I think she's like. I think she's like maga Jesus saved now. So what the fuck was the point? What was the point? Gwyneth, are you okay? After all this time, it was right there. I ain't no hollaback girl. Duh, bitch. And then she spelled bananas out because that's what she was for, making that song. I've never said this, but I think I hate her. And it's I think it's a revelation that just took place, and I stand by it. Gwen, you and that man you voted for could get on the first thing smoking. God don't bless. Beautiful thing about spring and summertime for me as a homosexual man, the chests are out, summertime pecs are outside. There is nothing like just walking down to Ralph's to go get, I don't know, some candy I shouldn't be eating. And on the way there, because it's warm. I mean, it was 95 goddamn degrees in Los Angeles, I think, a couple of days ago, which I do blame on Donald Trump, because who else but the devil? That's different, though. That's not the devil point. Point is walking around when it's warm and there are other men walking around, it's warm. They're like, oh, it's. It's a little too spicy out here. Let me take off my clothes. That is better than conservative. I'm not even going to hold you. It's like, oh, I think I will get up and go outside. Oh, I'm so focused. Oh, my goodness. Let me just keep. Keep my eyes out, my eyes out here and. And go on a journey. Go on a journey. You might be, you know, outside at the park or the beach or something because you just want to take your dog to see the sand or go on a date with some bitch that keep pressuring you to get married, and you really just trying to keep her satisfied as possible so you can drag that thing out. I'm going out of these public places during this time of year because I want to see the packs. I want to see them. I want to see the abs. I want to see the pecs. You know, it might be your abs, because sometimes it don't need to be your face. I just. And I don't want to get too close to them. I don't want to get too close to them. I want to interact with them. Okay, before you think I'm a harlot, I want to see. Want to see. That's it. I want to look around at it. Like when people go to these tar pits out here and they're just like, oh, let's look around at the tar pits. First of all, on paper. Why? Secondly, there's. It's just dirty ass water. There's nothing to look at. There's absolutely nothing to see. Y' all just go on dates there. If nigga took me was like, oh, let's go. Let's go look at the tar pits. If a man said that to Me as a date. And I didn't know what I knew about it. Offer it. I'm going to be like, that's a choice. Do I need to look out for the killer? Do I need to just take a shank and keep it in my back pocket or something? Because a tar pit is like a initial thinking. But, you know, I watched the Flintstones. Maybe it's going to be fun. And then I pull up today, I might fight. Like, I might not even. I might fight him. Because like, this day and age, I feel like everyone's time is precious. Definitely mine. So wait, what was I talking about? I legitimately don't remember. This one is for Amazon. Everything. Don't need no goddamn protection. Bezos is just a diabolical bitch. Like toothbrushes. If I buy like a three pack of Colgate toothbrushes, you asking me do I want to pay 3.99 for a protection plan? Why? Why the toothbrushes are the protection plan? Like, I don't understand why I can't just go and buy like a toy for my dog. Oh, would you like to put $10 down for protection plan? No. I know the bitch is going to tear it apart. No. I expect that. Why are you begging? That man is wealthy. He got more money than all of us twice. Coming from Miami, Florida, I'm used to scammers, but God damn, Jeff, A queen size like, blanket. Would you like to protect it? Would you like to protect yourself? This is why everybody poor. I don't know what this says about me. I'm so used to dark mode on browsers, electronic devices that anytime I use something that doesn't have dark mode, it feels violent. It feels. It feels like, sorry to say it, assault. It feels just like. Why does anyone do that? Why would you do that? Like, if you're on your laptop, if you're on your phone, there's so much going on in your eyes anyway. Why do you need it to be so bright at the same time? Also, it's a little ghetto to me. It's a little ghetto to me. Now that might be highfalutin, I don't know, but it's something like white refrigerator about it. It's something that's just like, ugh, where's the, you know, where's the style? Where's the panache? You ain't even trying. Just white. I think it's a little trashy, but it's also upsetting to my eyeballs. So anytime I log into something and it doesn't have a dark mode I know it's not going to be a part of my life. Which makes sense because people who don't floss. What's going on? What? What is going on? Why? Okay, so you eat food but you don't floss. Okay. I actually would like you to tap in. Okay. I don't give a fuck if you make an anonymous account. I need for some of you guys to just break this shit down for me. So you have teeth and you eat food and you don't floss between them. What is going on? What is going on? I know the economy probably got floss up to like $13 a pack, but you could probably go down somewhere and get somebody to donate some shit to you or something. I'll give you some flaws at this point. I don't want to see that, I don't want to smell that. And you don't want to keep that because you, if you ever do make it to a dentist and no shade. I know everybody in April. Boy, are you in for it. First of all, don't nobody want the goddamn the. The dentist office look like Texas Chainsaw massacre bitch. Like you wondering why your mouth so bloody. Because somebody needed to help you. Because you have years and years of bacteria and xenomorphs and all kinds of shit living on in your gum line. Like they have to kill stuff. They have to kill stuff. Just like Michael Myers and Freddy Krueger. So the bloodshed is actually because you fell down while running through the forest, if you know what I mean. I forgot what I'm talking about again. I forgot that being like an influencer is literally some of yalls identity and job. Back in my day we used to call that a socialite. I feel like that was a better word to be honest with you. Because socialite just sound like you go outside on purpose and you want people to know. Influencer is rough. Influencer is rough because influence what. What are you influencing? If that's the case, then a Tide commercial is an influencer. You just trying to sell me stuff. You trying to sell me stuff via somebody else that's paying you to sell me the stuff. And honestly, if you don't have like a promo code or something on you, I'm just going to swipe on by and I might even hitting on it. Not interested. I might hit you with the not interested because I'm not. Anyway, that's not the point again. I understand now that influencer and all of the like the tiktoky dances and I don't know, I guess rating Dildos and cream cheese or whatever. Like, that's what. Something I do for a living, inside and outside. And I've. You know, I want to be respectful to people's identity because I want you to be respectful to mine. And so if your identity is getting on everybody damn nerves because you didn't get enough attention as a child, I feel like I can try my best. Because, boy, God alive, do I go out sometimes and I think, why is this bitch trying so hard? Probably because they want you to know that you can get, like, half off on your first month at prize picks or whatever the fuck. I'm trying to be nice again. I'm sorry. I will consider. When I see obnoxious things happening around me in the world, I will stop and ask myself, you know, is this person on Vanderpump Rules? Because if that's the case, okay, all right. And then I just take 50ft away. But, yeah, I get it now. I mean, I don't get it, but I, like, I see what's happening, and I'm a. Respect your space as long as you respect mine. Let's be honest, I don't give a. What y' all talking about. You're pathetic. You know who's an influencer? Keep sweat. You know, as a influencer. Tracy Chapman. Those are an influencer. Tina goddamn Turner. Luther Vandross, Rita Franklin. You know what I'm saying? Fat Albert, Ronald McDonald. Like, those are influencers. Oh, Ronald might be at the top of the goddamn list. He might be the biggest influencer to ever influence. First of all, terrifying. Terrifying. Ronald McDonald should have played Pennywise in the IT TV show. That is terrible. Like, he's. He is genuinely hard to look at. I think I. I think I might have always been afraid of Ronald. I was cool with Grimace. Hamburger is a thief. And I was cool with him and the bird, whoever the bird was. Wait, was the bird at Burger King, or am I thinking of Chuck E. Cheese? It don't matter. Ronald McDonald's terrifying. Forgot what I was talking about. Influencers. As much as y' all eat them nasty ass fries. Actually, the fries are good now. They were terrible when I was a kid. Pride. Technology is getting better. But, yeah, McDonald's might be the baddest when it comes to influencing, but you trying to sell me, like, peppermints for my dog or whatever the. I don't know what the you think you are. Oh, look at the time. I think that's the end of Furious thoughts for today. If any of this was offensive to you, I'm Doing my job. Take a break. All right, y', all, welcome back to Furious Thoughts. Coming to you live. Pre recorded with a brand new segment that we're calling tight five. Type 5 is a new segment where I will come up with a random ass category and then a list of things within that category that I feel are appropriate. I will try to make them as quick as possible. Hence the term Tight five, which is also a play on a comic thing. Okay, you guys ready? Of course you are. That's why you're here. Let us begin. First ever, Tight five is for greatest R and B songs. Best R and B songs. Some of the best R and B songs. Right here's my type 5 of the best R and B songs. We're going to start with one. All My Life by Casey and Jojo as well. My God, today, as soon as you hear those strings at the beginning and it feels like Misty Copeland should just be coming out doing a twirl, you know that you're in for a good time. And then these two niggas are just like. I miss when men sang like that. Like when you know, the cocaine was just shooting soul through every fiber of their body. And what came out was power. All My Life by Casey and Jojo is an all timer. I've loved that song since I was a child. I don't even remember when it came out, but I've always loved the melody. And I hope that you feel the same way too. Too close to the actual song. I might, you know, get a strike there. YouTube. Sorry. Just to cover. God, that song is so fast. Like the. The arrangement of it, the melody, the fact that they are singing their asses off. I mean, if you know anything about Casey and Jojo, you already know that shit. I will say, when I listen to it, sometimes I can't help but think that it's an apology. Like, I know that it's meant to be this, oh, my goodness, I found the love of my life and we're about to have, you know, eternity together. But there's a part of me that hears it and it's like, what did you do? The way that they're hollering, Ah, really, Like you're. You're apologizing for something. What did you do? Trying to like, reinforce the fact that if this person comes back, you know, you'll never fuck up because all your life you're waiting for something like this. But I think that's just because I'm petty and pessimistic. Maybe it's also the writer in Me, the creative. But tell me when you listen to all my Life, it don't kind of sound like your baby daddy saying, let me come home. Furthermore, on the optimistic side of that record, what I also love about it is that when it's played during a wedding, which is like two times a week, when it's played at a. At a wedding, you can guarantee that that black ass groom is going to sob. And don't, bitch, don't let you turn that corner in like his mama dress or some shit or just looking elegant. And all my life is playing. That nigga's gonna cry. And I love shit like that. Show those emotions, men. Get it out. She looks fucking fantastic. And for whatever reason, she decided to strap her motherfucking ass to you for the rest of her goddamn life and make promises. Sickness or unhealth. What kind of sickness? Did you do it to yourself? Can I get it? I feel like there should be. I'm getting off topic next. All timer RB songs for the tie 5 is absolutely going to be Fantasia's. When I see you, I can listen to this song five times a day. It is simply perfect. As soon as I hear Mafia, I know that I'm about to go back. I'm about to go back to a time when I. When I rode the school bus having crushes. It is like a. It's like a composition book, love song. It's a diary. It's seeing that person that you really have feelings for, but you don't want to say anything. Maybe you also don't want to show off that you're, you know, infatuated and you're blushing and have all of these. And then on top of that, Ms. Fantasia Barrino is in there singing, bitch, I might kick my shoes off right now. That's how amazing that lady is singing out that goddamn song. I know when Fantasia walked out the booth, everybody was on the phone with their mama. That song is fantastic. It's another one that you can dedicate to somebody that's worth it. Melody's amazing. Production's amazing. They did that. Next up, my Word Here and Now by my aunt, Luther Vandross. Let me tell you something about my auntie. There will never be another voice like it. Never. Butter, Butter Margarine. Coco. Luther's voice, My God, like, every time I hear it, it's almost like I'm hearing his voice for the first fucking time. I miss my auntie so bad. Let me tell you something about Here and Now. It is a gorgeous song. Unlike all my life, it doesn't feel like an apology to me. It really feels like, oh, wow. There's not going to be anyone else out here for me. So let's do these vows and these wild ass promises about sickness and death or whatever. It has like that 80s flair. I think it came out like 88, 89. So it has that little, you know, that little drum or snare or whatever the fuck it is that everybody was obsessed with in the 80s. So it also reminds me of my childhood. And yeah, it's another big wedding record. Like a big wedding record in a wedding that gives me, like, marriage equality. Like a gay wedding. Probably because, you know, do you think Luther would have married a white man? I think he would have married a white man. I'm not like mad. I'm just like, you know, curious. You can see what I'm talking. Shut up. Next up Week by SWV had to be there. Everyone knows that this song is perfect. Pretty much all generations know the song since it's been out. It is a fantastic song. First of all, can we just unpack the fact that their name is Sisters with Voices? Who came up with that? That's so fierce. Sisters with Voices. That's it. That's it. We're sisters and we can fucking sing. Correct. They can, in fact, sing. I really enjoy singing the back part of the hook. Y' all know what I'm talking about. Do it with me. I get so weak. I lose control. Take over me. Amazing love. Y' all know what I'm talking about. That's my favorite part to sing. Even though I can't sing. But you can't tell me that I can't is the point. Furthermore, four week. As much as it is an amazing song and I enjoy it very much. Oh, God. I do not miss liking niggas that bed. I really don't. At this big age. My knees are literally weak. I don't need further, you know, destabilization and weakness to these knees. They're doing that all on their own at 38. Furthermore, I don't want to be knocked off my feet. I want to stand up or sit down. Why? Why I gotta fall on the ground? Why we can't just look at each other? Mitch? I don't even want to sit on the same side of the booth as you. Y' all are still doing this. Y' all are still down to the Wendy's. Not the Wendy's. Y' all are still down to the Denny's. Sitting on the same side of the booth. Don't nobody like anybody that bad? Not for real. Who are you showing out for? Y' all bitches only do that because you want other people in the fucking IHOP to be like, oh, they go together. We don't care. Bitch, you look crazy. What was I talking about? Last but not least for my type 5, I'm going to give it over to Aretha Marie Denise Franklin. I don't know her name. Aretha Franklin. Ain't no Way. Now y' all know for mother, it could have been a million different things. I am picking Ain't no Way specifically because I think it is an amazing song. The arrangement is amazing. Her voice is voicing, voicing. If you get a chance, look up, let us see. Performing it at Black Girls Rock. I don't remember what time she also ate, but this song is so gorgeous. It's so soulful, obviously, but it is also unlike most of the other songs I just chose, not about being in love and having fifies. It is more so a declaration that you can get out of my house if you don't get your shit together. As bad as I love you and all of the love I have to give you and support I have to give you, I can't give you those things if you don't want them. I can't give you those things if you don't. You don't let me give them to you so you can beat it if this is going to be trouble. And guess what? On your way out, you'll hear me singing this song. Two blocks over, bitch. Peace. It's fierce. It's a love song, but it is also a warning which feels very Aretha Franklin. Honorable mention is going to go over to one I will always love you by Whitney the Voice Houston. That one is for obvious reasons. It's also fierce that it's one of the most recognizable ballads in the world. And it's from a soundtrack. It's also from a soundtrack for a movie that she was in alongside Kevin Costner where he was ready to eat the box in the first act. I will always love you. I will always love it. I miss Whitney so bad. I miss my Auntie Luther so bad. Oh, those voices forever and always. Well, I hope you enjoyed this Tie five. Actually, I'm gonna do another one for you real quick. Tie five. Two iconic black TV mothers. Yeah, we're going there first and foremost, obviously, we're gonna give honor to one Vivian Banks. Aunt Viv, if you will. The dark skinned one. Let's be serious. Oh, wow. PhD, university professor, English lit as well as African American history. She then went on to teach at Bel Air Academy so she can make sure that her nephew and son were getting their shit together. Very great at keeping things together in the household in terms of making sure that nobody had her fucked up. And if nothing else, that dance, you know, what fucking dance I'm talking about, however it goes, y' all know what the fuck I'm talking about. She went in there to just get her life, you know, just do a little something something exercise, explore a new art form. And these little skinny white girls were like, what is this old black lady doing in here? She wasn't very good. Do you know what she did? What black women always do. She persevered. She rose to the occasion, and she went back to that goddamn class and she let everybody fucking have it. In fact, I'm pretty sure that I read somewhere that Ciara said that's why she started dancing just something for you. She didn't say that, but didn't you believe that for, like, half of a second? Anyway, Vivian Banks, dancer, teacher, mother, queen. Next over for iconic black TV moms. We're gonna give it to Florida Evans. I mean, what is there not to say? To be so broke and so giving. Florida was always going out of her way for everybody. Just trying to make ends meet, trying to make people happy and smile. As rough as everything was around her children crazy. The oldest one act like he ain't got no goddamn sense, talking about dynamite all the time. Dynamite. She should have been. Put him out. Janet Jackson coming over here crying about her mother's abuse. Like Florida was really just opening her door to anybody, even though they had no money. Her little Afro, just trying to keep up with poverty. And then on top of that, her husband die. And she's devastated. Damn, damn, damn. Broken up about it. Me, I'd have been like, ooh, great. One less mouth to feed. I'm also a terrible person. So I would say Florida has to be on the list just because of, once again, perseverance, kindness, and a very large heart. Also, her name, Florida. So give that lady a break, right? Let's talk about Harriet Winslow, personal fave of mine, Jo Marie Payton, living icon, forever icon. One time I was in a publix in Miami, and I saw her, and I walked up and said, are you Jo Marie Payton? And she said, yes, and walked past me, very annoyed. It's one of the most exciting, proud moments of my life. I was so honored that she was disgusted by me, that she still spoke to me and that it really was her Harriet Winslow gets to be on the list for a couple of reasons. Funny as hell. Literally starting the franchise as a spin off to Perfect Strangers. I think she was like a. She worked on an elevator or something on Perfect Strangers. So Fierce, they said, let's give the Winslows their own goddamn show. And that's how family matters began, because of one Harriet Winslow, the mother. And the reason she's also iconic as a black TV mom is when that shit jumped the shark and they were like, oh, Steve is going to teleport to Hawaii and have a personality that's a kung fu master and one that's sexy and one that's an alien. Harriet said, okay, I'm done. This is late. Now you can replace me with whoever you want. I'm going home. Fierce also put up with her husband's mama until they both decided that it was way more fun. It was way too cunt if they just got together and harassed Carl. Like when they realized that they were shady and petty at a similar level and then would just team up on Carl, you know, I love that type of shit. So that's also iconic. Speaking of shitting on Carl, I can't help but think of the episode where somebody crashed the damn car. I think it was one of the kids crashed Carl's cop car. And Harriet and Rachel said they were gonna scam that nigga and try to put the car back together herself, spray paint and all. As soon as this nigga left the fucking driveway, it all fell apart. She tried her best and she was willing to scam for the kids. Best mom. Rochelle Rock. Everybody hates Chris. My word. Tashina Arnold should have a Emmy for this role. I will say this for the rest of my life. Tashina Arnold should have absolutely got an Emmy for this role. Rochelle is every black American mama that was present. Like from the rearing, the cooking, the sayings, the dedication to the household and the husband. Oh, God, she was so fucking funny in that role. But, I mean, obviously it's Tichina Arnold, so she. I don't even think she knows how not to be funny or how to be anything other than funny. But that was a role where she got to be both funny and heartwarming. She got to be hilarious and also do some real ass acting as a mom. Pull at your heartstrings and make you feel good things. I don't know why she doesn't get more wide open praise for that role. Rochelle was hilarious, and I was a little afraid of her. I never wanted Rochelle to be disappointed in Me, even though she didn't know me and she wasn't a real person. Last but not least, you know, it's Claire Huxtable now. That other one. We don't talk about him. This is about Claire Huxtable and the icon that she is. From just an absolutely smoking hot housewife and matriarch to an absolutely devastating lawyer. Just fierce in the legal game. Keeps cran apple juice on hand. My type of carrying on. And nobody as beautiful, kind, smart as she is. Nobody played in that lady's face. We're gonna talk about Baltimore. Why the fuck did Vanessa feel like going to Baltimore to see the wretched and lying about it? I watch this scene, no lie. Maybe once a month, when Claire comes in there with that damn girl and it's like, here we are. You land somewhere in a burning building, dying of asphyxia, only to find out you went to Baltimore. All the way to Baltimore to have big fun. Isn't that what you did, Vanessa? Didn't you go to Baltimore to have big, big fun? And my favorite part, Rudy, go to bed. Why was Rudy even playing games? She over here standing on a Sitting on a fucking staircase. Key kid. Because her sister getting her, you know, her ass cussed out Fierce. Thing is, Claire didn't even look over there. She just knew Rudy was there and screamed, rudy, go to bed. It's like, bitch, you can get this too. You better take your ass to that twin mattress. I'm setting this place on fire. The wretched. Big fun in Baltimore. My God, what an icon. Do I have an honorable mention for this one? Maybe J. Kyle for my wife and kids? Or Nikki Parker or Tiny Baxter? You choose. I think this was successful. That's the type 5 segment. I hope you enjoyed it. Please also give me some suggestions. You know, I forgot things. This isn't just like a super, you know, strict list that I want in the Smithsonian. It's just me running my gay ass mouth. So, you know, chime in. I didn't say me, Myself, by Me, Myself and I by Beyonce. I didn't say that. It's probably some other RB songs you put in there for me. I mean, I don't know how many black TV moms there are, but you can throw that in there, too. Rainbow Blackish. Help me out, Thea. I think like me and maybe 20 other 38, 39, 40 year olds know Thea, but yeah, give me some help. Jump into the comments, Let me know what you're thinking. I think that's gonna wrap up this episode of Furious Thoughts. I think you've had enough. My beautiful face, perfect complexion and large, large breasts. So go find something else to do. Hey, tell your baby dad to wash behind his ears. That's the smell. That's what she's been smelling. Get the kids to bed and all that type of stuff. Pay your taxes. I'll see you next week.