A (6:34)
Let's play operation. You don't want to learn a thing. Can we have a good time? Fuck. Or at least just say, hey, I don't want to play nothing. But I will bring over some casamigos and ice. Just be all like, I'm tired of playing Uno. I'm tired. And then I'm getting irate. And then y' all don't even play those rules right. And then y' all won't even play those rules right. I can't remember the last time I have played Uno with and we have all been on the same page about how it's played every single time. It's like, oh, let me stack this Draw 4 on this Draw 4. No, you shall not stack a draw floor ATOP another draw 4. We shouldn't even be stacking draw twos. And Uno, Hasbro. Whoever told you bitches that directly on social media and you told them to go fuck themselves. You said, this is how we play the game. To the creators of the game. What is wrong with y'? All? I connect four. I guess we'll do that, too. That's a classic. The other day, I was flying back to Los Angeles from Baltimore, boarding the airplane, and I saw a white gentleman in front of me with his father. I think he was mid-20s. This man had a bubble coat on, shorts and thong sandals, bare feet, thong sandals. Boarding an airline, an aircraft with his bare bitties out, just bare raw toes out in the wintertime in Baltimore. And I just. I'm like, where does the sense of adventure come from? I think for niggas, the sense of adventure is staying alive, you know? So, like, where. Where do you be? Like, you know what I'm going to do today? I'm going to wear a down coat and flip flops in public. I might just do like some man on the street shit and just ask white people questions because. And Also, thong sandals above the age of 8 and below the age of 80. Thong sandals, bitch. Did you think that you was at, like, Cocoa beach, ho. Did you think you was at, like, the south of France? We in Baltimore, it's cold. And you know what? Y' all love being barefoot in the airport too. I'm sure when you were sitting down at the gate, you just had your whole feet out on the carpet. I wish y' all would stop telling people where to move or where not to move because you're not having a good time. The amount of people, and it seems to be a real big problem here, the amount of people who eventually get source towards LA and people who are, like, interested in moving here or moving back. You. You go on this, like, personal Legend of Zelda quest to stop them. You collect all the korok seeds and you go get the master sword or whatever and you're like, no, don't move to la. It sucks. And. And smog and people are awful and broke and this and like, what are you, a Moesha diary bitch? Like, why are you trying to narrate this ho's life? They could move here and have a great fucking time. Maybe the problem is you. And I would attach that to the sentiment of, oh, you know, this city or that city. LA is. Is this LA sucks. So I'm going to move to Texas, or I'm going to move to Miami, or I'm going to move to Atlanta. I'm going to move DC because LA is trash. I'm New York City. All of those places are also going to be trash because you're going. Because you're going to be there. So, you know, you could shit on whatever location you at and try and talk people down into the same pit of despair and resentment as you. But, girl, that's your problem. And I think you will probably see very soon because once you move to Bikini Bottom and they kick your ass out too, because you are still you and you suck. Maybe you'll reflect. You probably won't. You probably needed to hear that. Good luck. The other day, I googled how much is crack? Just out of curiosity. I don't even really remember where this question came from, but I guess I really wanted to know. I googled how much is crack? And I learned a lot. For what it's worth. Just to clarify, I'm not interested in purchasing any crack. This is just for educational purposes. But yeah, I just wanted to know. Currently it's like $10 a fix or whatever Lin Whitfield said. So I guess it's affordable. Maybe not in this economy. If you're like a crackhead, let's leave the singing jobs to the singers. Oh, wow. Walk into the room personally, professionally. Disney movie karaoke Saturdays. Actually, karaoke is fine. You're supposed to sound like trash there. If you can sing a karaoke, girl, go home. What the fuck you trying to impress, Ho? Let us have a good time. Other than that, especially if making money is involved for the singing jobs. Oh, my God, please let the singers do it. I don't care how else you got here. I want to hear talent personally. Unless it's a joke, and even then you got to be really specific. But I'm really exhausted. And actually I can name a few real life artists that sing a lot and they never should. You probably can think of at least 3 of the people in my head right now. The issue is, why do they have careers? Why do people let them? What's going on again? Remember when I said we should bring shame back? Perfect example. You can't sing. Shame on you. Do you see how, like, that balances out? I mean, not like, oh, you have stretch marks or a fupa. Shame, like, that's disgusting. But wasting everyone's time. Shame on you. I don't remember what I was talking about. What the fuck was I thinking about when I wrote this? I don't really understand what's wrong with being a third wheel. Because some bikes have three. It's called a tricycle, and it gets the job done. So where's that term come from? I think I waste a lot of time, like, not even on purpose, just thinking of random phrases and being like, what was that about? Like, by George. I think we've got it. Who the fuck is George? And, like, by him is George bisexual. We talked about this and, like, why George? Who is that? I waste a lot of time up here. I waste a lot of time up here. But I guess not, because now I'm doing it here as a job, so I win. Sometimes I'd like to go back to a time where I knew some shit was gonna be fire. When at the beginning of the song, it would go AOL Music first. Listen. Remember back in, like, Kazaa days and Napster and shit, where you would, like, pirate these songs from AOL or wherever? I guess, or. Y' all remember this one Tape Masters Inc. Youth. The kids don't have. I mean, I guess they have, like, if Young Metro don't trust you, gonna go shoot. They have, like, all that, like, all the producers and have taglines and Stuff which I do think is fierce, but that's on purpose. You know, tape masters in AOL music, those things edge to it, because shouldn't have been stealing those songs. Shouldn't have known how to do it. And let me tell you, the one bright side I could think of for me in high school was burning CDs and selling them. Burning CDs and selling them. And why were we in 9th grade, 10th grade with bitches asking me to make them a CD with a T shirt and panties on by Adina Howard. Ma', am, we're 14. Like, they knew what? And they knew I knew what type of time they was on. You over here talking about you want Adina Howard on here and you want Keith Sweat on this bitch. How do you even know that? That was super before our time, kind of. And like, what a pretty ricky. Because we were in Miami. Like, oh, I know what this CD is for, and I'm not even sure I should make it because it feels like enabling your path to pregnancy before graduation. And at that point in public school, I'd seen enough of that. I was tired of being in social studies with this bitch in her third trimester. So that was not something I was proud to contribute to because I know, I know what was going down. But I made a pretty penny because nobody else, I guess, in my grade knew how to do it. So that's fun. This one's out. Going out to AOL music first. Is AOL music at the same. Is that a thing still? Is AOL a thing? I guess not. I mean, Justin Timberlake did try to bring back MySpace for like a month. And girl, everybody was like, just bring sexy back instead. We don't need. This is stupid. What the fuck was that? Like, girl, where are you going? You had a better time having us accept them cornrows than bringing my space back. And why did you think that you could have a blonde fro? I'm getting off topic. Speaking of nostalgia, sometimes I go back and list look at videos and photos and I asked myself, were we allowed to have style in the 2000s? Was it against the law? Why was everybody's outfit so God damn ugly? 2000 to like 2007. Everybody was dressed with like, looked like post its. Like everybody. Everything was so ugly. Like superstars were on a red carpet for like the Grammys or some shit like that and looked like they had on tissue paper. Everybody like, oh God, remember the like the, the belly jewelry and the, the high thongs that came out over the denim von Dutch hats jersey Dresses, high heel timbs, long white tees. What was that combo of like a. Of like a spaghetti strap, bedazzled, and then like a skirt that had all these tassels and shit on it. Boots with the fur. Disgusting. I really don't. I feel like we should just delete footage from that whole extended period. Because I go back and look at photos of me and some of my current faves and, like, was it against the law for us to dress nice? 90s fashion, great. 80s fashion, great. 70s fashion, great. 2000 is like someone died. I don't know what happened, but everybody was ugly. Speaking of fashion, straight guy fashion is back to Butch Queen. It's pretty satisfying. You know, we went through the baggy extra long tee that Andre 3000 said look like a nightgown. You know what I'm talking about. To, you know, just fierce Nike techs and, you know, Gucci belts. We're fully back to Butch Queen. We're back to, like, the tight this and the tight that. We're back to, you know, a bright color or two. Bedazzled belts. Everyone dressing like Young Thug when he first came out. And it's like Butch Queen first time as a suitcase. I really don't understand, like, the overall look, you know, I don't really get what's backing it, but I don't hate it. I don't hate it. I love when straight niggas get into their. Their Butch Queen jush. It's entertaining, especially because y' all don't know how to do it. Y' all look foolish, but you seem to feel good and that feels good. I know that y' all shake in your new balances. Whenever I talk about my death. I'm gonna tell a joke if y' all do not sing. Thank you for being a friend at my funeral. Fuck y'. All. You didn't know me at all. You never cared about me. You never listened. You never were never present. If you bitches do not sing. Thank you for being a friend as well as book that one nigga who made the, like, gospel version to it. Y' all know what I'm talking about. If you don't do that at my funeral. Disgusting. Do not visit my grave, girl, don't even bury me. Just cremate me at that point. Cause y' all bitches never care. Scatter my ashes wherever. I don't care. Could be behind a fucking Ross I like at that point. Because what was my life anyway, you know? Sing one of the most powerful, loving songs of all time. Thank you for being a friend. Travel down the road, back again, heart true pal. Confident. And my favorite portion of the record, if you threw a party and you invited everyone that you knew, you would see that the biggest gift was for me. And a card attached would say, thank you for being friend. The reason that that is my favorite part of the record is because it is disgustingly petty. You mean to tell me that if we're having a party for me and everybody that I know is here, my mom, my dad, children, maybe cousins, my man, you know, I'm my man's other man. Everybody is here that I know. And you brought me the biggest gift. That is so petty. And I love it. I love it. Imagine, like, your husband for your birthday gets you, like, a Rolls Royce, parks it outside. Everybody's screaming, oh, my God, it's like super sweet 16. And they hear you come with a fucking Boeing. You hear you come with Drake's Jet. Like, suck my dick. The biggest gift will, in fact, be for me. That is so fierce. So when I'm good and done, y' all know what to do. Y' all know what to do. And I plan on haunting the girls. I will be there in spirit. And I will look at every single face that did not take part in my life's theme song. And I'm going to Hereditary, you bitches. The Babadook, the others, Paranormal Activity. I am dragging you bitches like Katie and Micah. Horror fans. You know what I'm talking about. Do the thing. Do the right thing. Sing me the song in the name of Shady Pines. I think that's it for Furious Thoughts this week. I hope you learned something, and I hope you're changed for the better. Let's take a break so that I can adjust my brassier. And we will be back. Ladies and gentlemen, and all folks of this planet that we call Earth, welcome back. Today we have an extra special guest that I'm super excited to be seeing light in the flesh and to be speaking to on this program. Okay. She's an actor, she's a singer, she's a mommy, and she is a bad bitch. And she is the moment. Wendy, we miss you. Parker, McKenna Posey is here.
