Transcript

Tommy Mishke (0:05)

What year is this?

Co-host or Sidekick (0:16)

It's 2026 and I'm still mishk.

Tommy Mishke (0:56)

Let me tell you a little something. It's very difficult for me to believe it's 2026 because, well, that's the future. When I was young, that was the distant future. And that was incomprehensible.

Co-host or Sidekick (1:22)

2026, that was star Trek country. I could not fathom the notion of.

Tommy Mishke (1:31)

2026 when I was a boy. And yet here we are.

Co-host or Sidekick (1:37)

And you know what?

Tommy Mishke (1:38)

Things aren't all that different really. Car drives down the street, parks a dad gets out, walks into the house and has dinner.

Co-host or Sidekick (1:47)

It's really the same damn thing. What the hell happened? I thought it would be much different.

Tommy Mishke (1:56)

It's 2026 and you still walk into a bathroom at someone's house and there's a toilet and a shower. We have not advanced a great deal in that department. In the summertime, you see a guy with a T shirt and jeans. I saw that when I was little. Some people get up every day and take a city bus. What? There are still city buses in 2026.

Co-host or Sidekick (2:22)

People sit down at a table for.

Tommy Mishke (2:24)

A meal and there's a plate, a knife, a fork, a steak, a potato.

Co-host or Sidekick (2:29)

That was what was going on when.

Tommy Mishke (2:30)

I was a kid.

Co-host or Sidekick (2:32)

What is the point of having 2026 if it's just going to look pretty much the same? Look, there's a family watching tv.

Tommy Mishke (2:41)

They did that when I was a kid. The Vikings have not won a Super Bowl. They hadn't won one when I was a kid.

Co-host or Sidekick (2:48)

I don't know what the point is.

Tommy Mishke (2:49)

Of having a future if this is all we do with it. Look, there's a house with a den, a kitchen, a living room. There's an office with a guy at a desk talking on the phone.

Summary

Garage Logic – MISCHKE: A New Year (January 3, 2026)

Host: Tommy Mishke
Co-host/Sidekick: Unspecified
Notable Guests & Callers: Dave Sales, Dave’s Dad
Theme: Reflecting on the future from the seat of nostalgia, common-sense observation, and quirky, personal storytelling.

Episode Overview

The episode kicks off the new year 2026 with Tommy Mishke’s characteristic blend of nostalgia, wit, skepticism about progress, and warm storytelling. The theme revolves around examining what’s really changed about American life over decades, from bathrooms and cultural trends to the perennial disappointments of Minnesota sports, then pivots into lively conversations with listener callers. Along the way, Mishke and his guests muse about pursuing dreams, handling hard winters, and how happiness (and bidets) might finally catch on in 2026.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. "The Future That Never Arrived" (00:05 – 05:50)

Mishke and his co-host riff on the shock (and mild disappointment) that 2026 looks a lot like decades past.
- “It's very difficult for me to believe it's 2026 because, well, that's the future… When I was young, that was the distant future. And that was incomprehensible.” – Tommy Mishke (00:56)
- “2026, that was Star Trek country. I could not fathom…” – Co-host (01:22)
- The ordinary persists: cars, toilets, family dinners, city buses, unchanged sports heartbreaks.
- “The Vikings have not won a Super Bowl. They hadn't won one when I was a kid.” – Mishke (02:41)

2. Reflections on Progress: War on Cancer vs. Bidet Revolution (03:08 – 12:55)

Mishke recalls as a boy reading about the ‘War on Cancer’ and expecting it to be solved by 1980 – paralleling this with how little has really “advanced.”
- “I still know all sorts of people dying of cancer. How'd that war go? How did we screw that up that badly?” – Mishke (05:04)
Sudden detour into the newest trend: American acceptance of bidets.
- Amused (and mock-serious) reading of a CNN article about bidet reviews.
- “A bidet is now required by law to be present in every bathroom containing a toilet bowl.” – Mishke quoting the article, tongue-in-cheek (07:17)
- Banter about “bidet parties,” warm seats, and the sensation of “fire hoses” for personal hygiene.

3. Ode to the Outhouse: Simple Pleasures (12:14 – 17:57)

Mishke’s monologue on the joys of his rustic, heated outhouse at his Wisconsin cabin.
- “I don't know why we ever left the outhouse, I really don't.” – Mishke (12:55)
- “It's a winter evening, say it's 4 degrees outside… you feel that cold… wakes you up, crystallizes your thoughts…” (13:10)
- Ritual details: candlelight, vintage comics, radio, stargazing from the privy.
- “And you also connect to all the outhouse users that have come before…the 19th century, 18th, 17th century…” – Guest (16:26)

4. Call with Listener Dave Sales: From Pool Halls to Restaurant Management (21:00 – 32:34)

Dave recounts his journey from labor and business school to a semi-pro pursuit of pool.
- “60 to 80 hours a week… When I really started taking it seriously...there was more money in my wallet than I'd had the previous week.” – Dave Sales (24:04)
- A tough, competitive subculture demanding angry, solitary dedication—but Dave shifts his mindset:
  - "'The character archetype of a person who gets better at pool is generally a solitary, angry person… But if you don’t feel like it’s working for you, let go of it.’ …For the next year after that, played the best pool I'd ever played in my life." – Dave Sales recounting advice from Danny (26:11)
- Ultimately decides not to chase the pro dream, pivots into the restaurant world, drawn by camaraderie and serving people.
- 2026 Prediction: “It wouldn't shock me if in the coming year we saw people trying to come together a little bit.” – Dave Sales (30:58)

5. Call with Dave’s Dad: Nostalgia, Life Lessons, and Minnesota Winters (35:11 – 50:52)

Mishke, Dave’s Dad, and others swap tales about life in the 70s, the persistent allure of the road trip, and the pleasures of living slow.
- “If we reverted to 74, we'd all probably be much more happier.” – Dave's Dad (37:41)
- Mishke imagines a ‘jackknife’ into the past, and the fun of old-time Americana.
Conversation about the long, hard Minnesota winter (“The Long 90”), and an invitation to experience its magic by simply sitting on a frozen lake.
- "You can become a master of the long 90." – Mishke (43:00)
Life as a sheet metal worker, working oil fields in North Dakota ("the wild, wild west"), and the value of slow, simple living on the lake.
- “Now I'm trying to slow down.” – Dave's Dad (49:50)
- “Don’t hurry, don’t worry.” – Motto traced to Vice President John Nance Garner (46:46)
Optimistic view for 2026: “We all need [to be happier].” (50:21)

6. Nostalgic Language & Whimsical Observations

Throughout, Mishke uses signature, meandering humor and poetic analogies:
- The emotional resonance of words like “jackknife” (53:11), yearning for old time radio and television (“If you’ve risen as high as the status of Soupy Sales… You’re very quickly forgotten.” – Mishke, 40:56).
- Light improvisational songs (“Sheet Metal Workers Local 10” punk anthem, 40:00).
- Running joke about Minnesota’s perennial sports woes.
- Ongoing riff about “jackknifed trucks” as a metaphor for going out in style (53:11–end).

Memorable Quotes & Moments

On the lack of progress:
- “If the future is going to look pretty much the same, what’s the point?” – Co-host (02:32)
On bidets in 2026:
- “A bidet is now required by law… Bidet is a French word meaning pony, due to the straddling position adopted in its usage.” – Mishke (07:17)
On outhouses:
- “You can take your bidet, your modern bathroom… Doesn't touch the outhouse experience for joy, serenity, a sense of being truly alive.” – Mishke (12:34)
On anger and pool:
- “The character archetype of a person who gets better at pool is generally a solitary, angry person…there’s 5% that aren’t. You should really think about that.” – advice to Dave Sales (26:11)
On the challenge of progress:
- “We haven’t moved on from the house, the den, somebody talking on the phone…” – Mishke (02:49)
On happiness in 2026:
- “I think people should be happier rather than be so pissed off about stupid stuff.” – Dave’s Dad (50:12)

Notable Timestamps

00:56 – Mishke reflects on comprehending the distant future.
05:04 – “The war on cancer” skepticism.
07:17 – Hilarious, mock-serious CNN bidet review.
13:10–14:08 – Ode to the winter outhouse under the stars.
21:00–32:34 – Interview with Dave Sales: pool, self-improvement, embracing positivity.
35:11–50:52 – Multi-generational chat: nostalgia, jackknifed trucks, philosophy of slow living.
46:46 – "Don’t hurry, don’t worry" and the story of Cactus Jack.
49:01–50:21 – Life advice and predictions for a happier new year.

Final Thoughts & Tone

Mishke closes by musing over the perpetual allure of words and objects (“jackknife”), the gentle comedy of faded celebrities, and a heartfelt call for optimism and connection in the year ahead. The episode is a blend of sardonic humor, sentimental longing, and ordinary wisdom, delivered in the easy, slightly rambling conversational style that defines Garage Logic.

For listeners seeking warmth, wit, and a reminder of the enduring pleasures of simplicity and community—this New Year’s episode is a fitting, gently funny meditation on American life, both past and present.