MISCHKE: Days of Our Lives

Summary

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MISCHKE: Days of Our Lives

Garage Logic — Gamut Podcast Network
January 10, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Garage Logic channels the trademark musings of host Tommy Mischke (filling in the seat of "The Mayor" Joe Soucheray), blending quirky current events, philosophical observations, and nostalgic storytelling. Mischke takes listeners on a winding, thoughtful journey—beginning with the strange phenomenon of sand theft around the globe, reflecting on the broader human drive for gain (and its pitfalls), and spinning off into a vivid riff about the enduring soap opera, "Days of Our Lives." Along the way, there’s plenty of signature Mischke banter, listener calls, and reflections on the oddities and routines of daily life.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Stolen Beaches: Sand as the New Gold

(00:50 – 07:45)

• Mischke opens by warning vacationers to wonder: "Is this beach stolen?"

• He explains the global sand shortage, the rise of "sand mafias," and the targets of illicit beach theft—epitomized by the notorious Jamaican heist of 500 truckloads of sand.

• Mischke marvels at the lack of legal frameworks regarding sand ownership and moves to a wider observation on human ingenuity for self-advancement, often bordering on the absurd or unethical.

  “I am not joking with you. I am as serious as death. Sand is a fundamental component in the production of glass, in the production of concrete, in the production of silicon chips that power our phones. But not all sand is created equal.” (03:05)

2. Money, Greed, and Emotional Emptiness

(07:45 – 13:30)

• Mischke delivers an extended meditation on the universal quest for money, distinguishing between need and greed.

• He argues that greed stems from emotional emptiness, with people using possessions and cash as substitutes for deeper fulfillment.

  “Life for the bulk of humanity… appears to me to be mostly figuring out how to get some cash. What are the best ways? What's an easy way to get some money? What's illegal but a way where I won't get caught?” (05:15)

  “Greed often stems from emotional emptiness. We're not satisfied in our emotional lives, so we look to fill the void with money. Things.” (08:35)

• Mischke links greed with envy and insecurity, suggesting modern society is pervaded by a relentless dissatisfaction.

  “Have you met the person yet in this life who has said, I have enough, I'm good. My dream is to hear those words from a 45 year old.” (08:15)

3. Sands Through the Hourglass: Reflections on "Days of Our Lives"

(13:30 – 22:00)

• The phrase "like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives" triggers Mischke’s existential musings—and a nostalgic flashback to his neighbor watching the soap opera.

  “Our days are like sand through an hourglass. I would think about that in my front yard as I looked over at that next door neighbor lady watching the television screen and picking things off her skin.” (11:36)

• Mischke humorously imagines an alternative, more morbid soap opera: "The Day the Sands Run Out," where each episode chronicles someone’s last day.

• He recounts the surprisingly complex, sometimes grim storylines that have given "Days of Our Lives" its historic 60-year run.

  “That sand has been moving for 60 years. Is it that good of a show?” (16:38)

  “One of the longest running storylines involved the rape of Mickey Horton's wife Laura by Mickey's brother Bill… Another love triangle between lounge singer Doug Williams and Alice's daughter Addie, and Addie's own daughter Julie proved to be popular…” (18:44)

4. Soap Operas, Real Life, and the American Household

(22:00 – 28:00)

• Mischke recalls cleaning offices as a kid and discussing soap operas with an older woman who argued that soap operas mirror real life more than nighttime TV.

• He details the prevalence of soap operas in the 1970s and shares a story about “meter readers” and the peculiarities of American domestic life then.

  “Tommy, people make fun of soap operas. But I want to tell you, my experience is real life is more like what I see on the screen in a soap opera than in any of these other nighttime programs that are so popular.” (22:54)

5. Listener Call-In: Paradise on the East Side, Bank Robbery, and Radio Intimacy

(29:19 – 39:16)

• Mischke calls a longtime listener, Matt, who works as a banker on the east side of St. Paul. They share banter about the reputation of the neighborhood and the oddity of bank robberies being so easy (if you believe the power of a note).

• Matt expresses what Mischke’s radio/podcast presence means to him personally.

  “I remember being 16 years old in my parents house and listening to you... Come to find out, the whole world loves you Tommy.” (33:18)

• Mischke reflects on the ambiguous joy and embarrassment of public appearances, referencing doing remote broadcasts on rooftops and the pressure of living up to audience expectations.

  “I like to imagine there's just the one person out there. I'm talking to them.” (33:49)

• Matt reveals it’s his wife’s birthday; Mischke serenades her ("Happy Birthday, Jess") and closes with the hourglass metaphor linking the episode’s themes.

  “She's right smack dab in the middle of life. I mean, just in the middle of life... Tell her for me. Like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives.” (37:56–38:21)

6. Eccentric Observations: Sharks, Biting, and New York City

(39:17 – 43:30)

• Mischke shares that the number of people bitten by others in New York City vastly outpaces shark attacks worldwide—a launching pad for a surreal riff involving a fictional mayor and the oddities of city life.

  “The annual number of worldwide shark bites is 10 times less than the number of people bitten by other people in New York City… and it will still not be as dangerous a beach as walking the streets of New York City, where you will be 10 times more likely to be bitten.” (41:10)

• He launches into a mock conversation peppered with Jaws references, blending deadpan humor and the absurd.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Global Sand Theft and Greed:
  “Have you met the person yet in this life who has said, I have enough, I'm good. My dream is to hear those words from a 45 year old.” (08:15)

• Existential Humor:
  “Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Our days are like sand through an hourglass… I imagined that soap opera just featuring people screaming. It's all leaving. All of it is going away.” (12:05)

• On the Absurdity of Soap Opera Plotlines:
  “No wonder it's around 60 years later. Seinfeld didn't have that.” (21:54)

• Listener Connection:
  “It feels like you're talking to just me. It always has… and come to find out, the whole world loves you Tommy.” (33:18)

• Radio Philosophy:
  “I like to imagine there's just the one person out there. I'm talking to them. I had a note from a sales guy today saying, hey, would you ever like to do a public appearance? No, don't want to do that. Not sure what they had in mind.” (33:49)

• Birthday Moment:
  [Sings] “Happy birthday, dear Jess / Happy birthday to you” (38:26)

• On City Danger and Human Biting:
  “The annual number of worldwide shark bites is 10 times less than the number of people bitten by other people in New York City… where you will be 10 times more likely to be bitten.” (41:10)

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Segment Timestamps

• Sand Theft & Human Greed: 00:50 – 07:45
• Greed, Envy & Emotional Emptiness: 07:45 – 13:30
• "Days of Our Lives" & Hourglass Metaphor: 13:30 – 22:00
• Soap Operas & Real Life: 22:00 – 28:00
• Listener Call-in (Matt, the Banker): 29:19 – 39:16
• Shark Bites & NYC Mayoral Skit: 39:17 – 43:30

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Overall Tone

Mischke’s signature style comes through with wry, thoughtful storytelling, riffing on the banal and the bizarre, poking fun at everything from soap opera melodrama to New York’s supposed dangers while always bringing it back to the quirks and realities of daily life in Garage Logic. The show is at once nostalgic, philosophical, and playfully absurd—a slice of “common sense” with an eccentric flourish for anyone missing Joe Soucheray's take but delighted by Mischke’s own unique logic.

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Transcript

[A]

Join me, John Randall at the North American Banking Company Minnesota Golf Show, February 13th through the 15th. It's your chance to try out the newest clubs and equipment from the biggest names in golf. Improve your game with free lessons and clinics from PGA Pros. And when you're done, relax at the 19th Hole Lounge with your favorite post round beverage. Tickets on sale [e-mail] Save $3 with advanced purchase. Each ticket includes 14 free greens fee passes at area courses location. Learn [e-mail] 5, 4, 3, 2, 1. Hit it, Robbie. Give me that old time religion. It's all about dead bass. About that base, about that base. The name's Mishki Hoodly, Hoodly, Hoodly. Hoodly. Hoo. Ready, set, go. Well, the next time you're on vacation, enjoying the views, digging your toes into the soft white sand, you ask yourself a question. You say to yourself, is this beach stolen? This beach could be a stolen beach. You know, a lot of us in this world think sand is abundant, but there's a global shortage. Yes, a global shortage of sand. And this scarcity has led to illicit operations and beach thefts. I am not joking with you. I am as serious as death. Sand is a fundamental component in the production of glass, in the production of concrete, in the production of silicon chips that power our phones. But not all sand is created equal. The construction industry relies on a specific coarse, angular sand. Now, your glass manufacturers and your high end resorts, they demand soft white sand. And that specific need there has led to beach thefts where pristine white sand beaches are being illegally stolen, transported to feed the global demand. This is something that is not widely reported, but it is not a new issue. One of the more shocking incidents of beach theft occurred in jamaica. Thieves stole 500 truckloads of sand from a 400 meter stretch of beach at Coral Springs in Jamaica. The theft occurred at night and the stolen sand was never found. Since then, beaches and sand have been and continue to be stolen in the Caribbean, stolen in North Africa, stolen in parts of India. It's all part of an alarming trend. The rise of, and I'm not kidding here, this is what they're calling them, sand mafias. These are organized groups that exploit the sand shortage. There is a sand mafia. People, unless privately owned sand is really not considered property in a lot of places. And because it can be moved or is moved by natural forces, the idea of the movement of sand being a crime is, has not really been something lawmakers have considered. And that's unfortunate because it's resulted in a lot of sand being taken away from where it should be and brought to where it shouldn't be. I have lived for decades now, people. Decades. And as I reach the autumn of my existence, I have to say what I'm going to remember most about my observations of humanity over my lifetime is that incessant drive that I've seen in people near and far to figure out how to get ahead, how to bolster the old bank account, all the creative ways people have sought to get a little dough in their pocket. Life for the bulk of humanity in my time here on this earth appears to me to be mostly figuring out how to get some cash. All the different ways a person can get some money. What are the best ways? What's an easy way to get some money? What's illegal but a way where I won't get caught? What's a get rich quick scheme? What job pays the most and how do I find it? How do I get the money that guy has? In a way, the presentation of humanity has really been kind of sad over my lifetime. What an unfortunate way to spend time on this earth trying to get more money when we could have been, oh, I don't know, admiring roses or making a kid laugh or catching the sunrise with a lover. I've no time for that. I've got to figure out a get rich Quick scheme. 3am I'll come back to this beach and grab all this stuff. Sure, people look at roses and watch sunrises. I know that they make kids laugh. It's all done to one degree or another. But it's not done to the degree that people sit around trying to make money, find more money, steal more money, earn more money, get more money. And there's a fine line between wanting dough to eat, to find shelter, to get some clothing and something I like to call greed. Greed. Either lowercase G or capital G. Greed is wanting more and more and more because, well, it feeds something in you. Some need that really goes beyond food and shelter and clothing and even a movie or a night out. Have you met the person yet in this life who has said, I have enough, I'm good. My dream is to hear those words from a 45 year old. It doesn't count if I hear it from an 85 year old. I want to hear it from a 45 year old. I have enough, I'm good. Let me tell you what the psychologists say. Greed often stems from emotional emptiness. We're not satisfied in our emotional lives, so we look to fill the void with money. Things. Why do you think everybody goes shopping? They're emotionally starving. It's so sad because we have to look in the mirror and say, I'm not emotionally satisfied. And getting at that problem is a lot more work than just, oh, I don't know, stealing sand. Unmet emotional needs are apparently the story with a lot of people out there who keep going after money. In a bid to replace the emptiness of emotional distress, they attempt to use objects or possessions or just cash to fill the void. How many of us out there are dissatisfied emotionally? Maybe everybody. Uh oh, that doesn't bode well for getting rid of greed. Again. Could be just small G greed, but greed nonetheless. I think we have to admit we've all been greedy from time to time, but have we realized we're trying to fill an emotional void? Envy, they say, works alongside greed a lot of the time. Envy. People who are envious of others are usually a little greedy. They want to have things that are not theirs. They want to have lives they don't have access to. They're determined to do anything to make that happen, to get what that guy has. Anything includes going to great lengths to have money without really considering the means. They convince themselves that the ends justify the means. Envy, Greed. They have probably done in this world of ours more than anything else. Who invented envy and greed? Could we talk? I don't think we needed those things, did we? Then there's insecurity. People who have a sense of insecurity do not consider what they have enough. They always compare themselves with other people and they end up feeling inadequate. They want to measure up to a certain standard and this drives a. Well, an excessive desire to make money. Insecurity. It's insidious that wanting more so as to feel secure. But of course, you're chasing your tail there, aren't you? You're never gonna get there. You're gonna end up in the sand mafia. And what a weird life that's going to be. Where did it all go wrong, Dave? Well, I think it was when I joined the sand mafia. You joined the sand mafia? Yeah. Yeah, I did. I have unfulfilled emotional needs. There's a weird thing that happens to me anytime I think about sand. And it's been this way for decades. I wish I could change it. I can't. I don't seem to be able to. Whenever I think of sand, I think of a soap opera that was on when I was a kid. It would play each day round. 12:30pm the next door neighbor lady would watch it. On her front porch in the summer. And I'd hear those words all the time. Like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives. God, that used to freak me out when I heard the guy say that at the beginning of the soap opera Days of Our Lives. Any of you people recall that? Every day it would start with that. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Our days are like sand through an hourglass. I would think about that in my front yard as I looked over at that next door neighbor lady watching the television screen and picking things off her skin. I don't know what was going on there. She was always picking at her skin and watching that television as the sands of our lives slipped away. And I'd think, really? Is that. Is that what our days are? Just sand slipping through an hourglass? That's terrible. Life is just slipping away, Just slipping away by the minute, by the second. Well, what kind of a horror show is this? Why isn't that lady screaming as she watches? She was watching the soap opera Days of Our Lives, which started in 1965. Every single day, there it was. And it would start with the guy saying, like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Gone, gone, gone. Another one gone. Now another one gone. And again, whoops, there's no more sand. It's over. There was a whole show about that. I couldn't believe there was a show about that. I imagined that soap opera just featuring people screaming. It's all leaning. All of it is going away. Sands through an hourglass. It's all been taken from us. All of it. Every day it just vanishes and we don't get it back? Were the people on Days of Our Lives commenting on that at all? Were they all just anxious every day, distraught? Was there ever kind of a spiritual guru on Days of Our Lives who would say to the people, don't worry. At the end, when all the sand has moved through, we'll tip the damn thing over again and start fresh. Really? Is that possible? I don't know, but that's what I'm preaching. Toss some money in the basket, will ya? Well, you're a little greedy. I'm emotionally starved. You know how long I've been doing ads for Bradshaw and Bryant? Well, I've been doing them since I started this here podcast, but I did them for 11 years before that. On my last podcast, I think I've talked about Bradshaw and Bryant more than I've talked about my own children. Perhaps because I'm more impressed with Bradshaw and Bryant. Wait a minute. Don't say that. Sorry. If you've been injured by some reckless, callous SOB and you feel you're entitled to some compensation to balance the scales of justice to help make you whole, well, by golly, contact Bradshaw and Bryant. It's simple. You tell them over the phone what's going on and they tell you if they think you've got a case, what are you out? Nothing. And if they take the case, once again, you're out Nothing. You only pay if they win. It's quite a deal. Kind of makes me want to go out front and get hit by a car right now. Bradshaw and Bryant seeking justice for the injured.

[B]

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[A]

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And that he's figured out from 40 years in this business. He offers a consultation, 48 minutes on the phone, you call him. It's free. 952-925-5608. Josh will show you the things you can do today to change where you will be in 5 years, 10 years, 20 years. Take advantage of that phone call. Investment services offered by Josh Arnold, Investment Consultant, llc. A security and investment advisor. Past performance is no guarantee of future results. All investments involve risk. Tommy Mischke is a paid endorser. You know what I did today, and I'm not proud of this fact. I researched Days of Our Lives, the soap opera date. The world's going to hell, and Mishki's sitting alone in a dark room researching Days of Our Lives. That is a sad, sad image. I want to apologize for even putting that image in your head. Yeah, I researched Days of Our lives. Started in 1965, and. Are you ready for this, campers? It's still going today. Wait, what? Yeah, it's still going today. One of the longest running scripted TV shows in the world. Wow. That sand has been moving for 60 years. Is it that good of a show? How many years did Seinfeld get? How many years did we get of MASH? 60 years of days of Our Lives. How many years did we get of the Sopranos? You mean there are people who would prefer Days of Our Lives? Wow. The torture of watching the sands move through the hourglass and it all just slip away until you're gone. Masochists, all of you. Days of Our Lives was started by a husband and wife team named Ted and Betty Corday. Ted and Betty started it. Yeah, Ted said one day, hey, Betty, we ought to create a show that's about the days of people's lives. Aren't all shows about people's lives more or less, Ted? Well, come to think of it, Betty, you're absolutely right. Maybe we should change it to the Day the sands run out. And it could just be about people's last day on earth. Every show could feature someone doing some last thing and then croaking. We could start the show with one sand pebble left in an hourglass, and it could be fallen through, as the announcer says, like a last sand pebble slippin through the hourglass. You. Your life is wrapping up, camper. See ya. And each show could be about how a particular person died each day. We could have a man or a woman die in a different Way. The first week, our five programs could feature heart attack, cancer, pulmonary embolism, Parkinson's and kidney failure. The next week, poisoning, suicide, car accident, drowning and electrocution and so on. Mm. Yeah, we'll have natural disasters, starvation, grisly attacks, lightning strikes, house fires, stabbings. It'll be great. And every day a single sand pebble will drop, and it'll be the very last one for that person. Ted, I think that's going to bring a lot of people down. I know you would think that, wouldn't you? But people are weird. They kind of like being brought down. In a couple of years, a movie's gonna come out called Midnight Cowboy. Absolutely nothing uplifting is gonna happen in that movie, and people are gonna rave about it. Then there's gonna be a movie that comes out called Deliverance, and that's gonna make a lot of money at the theater. Deliverance And Betty, I don't even wanna tell you what that's about, so don't worry about downers. When Days of Our lives premiered in 65, the show revolved around the tragedies and triumphs of the suburban Horton family, led by patriarch Tom Horton and his wife, homemaker Alice. One of the longest running storylines involved the rape of Mickey Horton's wife Laura by Mickey's brother Bill. Laura confided in her father in law, Dr. Tom, and the two agreed that her husband Mickey should never know about this. The plotline was made even more complex with the presence of Linda, who claimed that her daughter Melissa had been fathered by Mickey. Now, when Mickey married the lovely Maggie Simmons, Linda became even more involved in the storyline as the show's villainess, marrying the wealthy Bob Anderson and taking over the running of Anderson Manufacturing when he became ill. Another love triangle between lounge singer Doug Williams and Alice's daughter Addie, and Addie's own daughter Julie proved to be popular. Around the same time, the storyline culminated in the death of Addie and the marriage of Doug and Julie. Other memorable storylines include the story of an amnesiac Tom Horton Jr. Returning from Korea believing he is someone else, and then proceeding to rol romance his own younger sister, Marie.

[C]

Wow.

[A]

No Wonder it's around 60 years later. Seinfeld didn't have that. When I was a kid, I used to make some money emptying wastebaskets and vacuuming at some offices that were above a drugstore. A couple times a week, I'd empty the waste baskets and vacuum. And there was an older woman there who loved soap operas. She talked about them quite a bit, and I Remember even as a kid saying to her, why do you like those things? I had flipped through the channels enough at this time to have caught a few soap operas. And I was always disturbed by what I saw. I couldn't understand the appeal. Anyway, this woman said to me quite seriously. And I'm really surprised she even took me seriously with my question, but she did.

[C]

I.

[A]

And she said to me, tommy, people make fun of soap operas. But I want to tell you, my experience is real life is more like what I see on the screen in a soap opera than in any of these other nighttime programs that are so popular. None of the stuff I see at night look like the life I encounter out there. But soap operas feature the kinds of things I see in my neighborhood, in my world, with friends I know. So to me, the reason they're popular and the reason I like them is they seem like life. She actually said that to me. And I'm telling you, I got scared hearing that. Because I started to think that's what was waiting for me when I grew up. Not the cool stuff I saw at night on Hawaii 5o. The creepy soap opera stuff I remember. I just shuddered hearing that. This was a shock for me to learn. In 1970, there were 20 daytime soap operas on the air on US broadcast television. 20 daytime soap operas. The guys were at work, the kids were in school, and the women were home. And they were watching these shows, lots and lots of shows. And apparently they depicted real life. The women would pause during commercials to look out the window. And they'd see so and so running across the alley to have an affair with such and such and such. This person finding out that their daughter isn't really their daughter. It's the daughter of Ned over there. The guy cutting wood in his backyard. I guess that was what life was like back then. And I gotta tell you something. I heard another story when I was a kid that made me wonder about life. My brother had a handsome friend who was a meter reader or something. I never really understood this job. But there were guys who came into your house and looked at a meter and wrote some things down and then left. I never really got it. My bedroom when I was in my early teens was in the basement. And it was right next to a meter that these guys wanted to read. Some mornings I'd wake up to this strange guy in my room with a clipboard writing something down. Scared the hell out of me. Anyway, my brother had a. A friend who went into people's houses. He was about 19 or 20, and he'd read in meters. And there were a lot of lonely housewives from what this fella told my brother and I. I mean, a lot of interesting stuff happened in those houses. Women would be watching a show with their bathrobe, guy would go downstairs, read the meter, come back up and the bathrobe was wide open. Now I don't know what all happened, but I know that's one of the reasons this guy kept his job as long as he did. He was going to go to college that fall. He went one more year reading meters. Wonder if the guys at work knew what was going on at home. Course, if the soap operas are real at work the husband was taking the secretary out to lunch. That's what life was like. I don't know when it got all squared away and back in ship shape, but somewhere along there I think we got everything back to normal. But it was weird, I guess for a while. Soap opera city. Mm. Like sands through the hourglass, so are the days of our lives. Poor care in long term care facilities for the elderly has become the standard out there. The Wellshire is all too well aware of this. That's why they make sure their staffing structure includes registered nurses to oversee and manage the health of residents, licensed practical nurses to coordinate the day to day care, trained medical aides to assist with medication administration. That medical training is critical and it's not required at most operations. The staff to resident ratio is more impressive at the well shire than any other place you could place a loved one with memory care issues. With a staff that's engaged and involved. I mean a real activity director along with a caregiving staff offering exercises and games and just reminiscing and sing alongs and there are church services and there are movies and there's a happy hour and there's ice cream at the ice cream parlor. Poor care in long term care facilities is the standard. Go to where it's 180 degrees different. The well shire of Medina and Bloomington.

[C]

Hey, leave it your number at the tone and I'll get back to you as soon as I can. Thanks. Bye bye and have a good day.

[A]

Kevin, I admire that outgoing message. I admire it because you didn't redo it. You were a guy who said nah, good enough. Now I would have redone that to smooth it out a bit. It was kind of choppy, little bit awkward. But you said I think this covers it. They'll get the message. And of course I am getting the message. I don't need you to redo it. I would say 70% of people would have redone that baby. But you leave it. You leave it just as it is. There's something wonderfully human about it. All right then, I'll let you go.

[C]

Tommy.

[A]

Well, what do you know, Matt?

[C]

Oh, it's another day in paradise, Tommy, isn't it?

[A]

I don't see much paradise out there. I don't know which window you're looking out, but I haven't seen it in a few years. Now where are you exactly?

[C]

I'm on the east side of St Paul.

[A]

They haven't had paradise there ever. Oh boy.

[C]

You gotta look on the sunny side sometimes, huh?

[A]

Well, what you look on there is the rockin side. Cause that's the rockin east side. That's the side the St. Paul cops like to work when they want to show off their skills. That there is two gun country camper. An officer will say, give me that shift, I need to practice my aim.

[C]

I fortunately haven't seen any gunfights at the O.K. corral over here. So everything's okay for now.

[A]

You do know that about the east side, don't you? I know a lot of cops and that's where they go when they want to rumble. East side, like it or not, that's where you have decided to call home.

[C]

Well Tommy, I'm an invader, so I work on the east side, but I don't actually live on.

[A]

Oh well that doesn't count then. You're an interloper. You drop in, you drop out, that doesn't count. What do you do for a living?

[C]

I'm a banker. It's about as boring as it gets. But I've been listening to you since I was a kid. I remember being 16 years old in my parents house and listening to you and then on to coast to coast and followed you right through city pages. Unlike these people who thought you vanished off the face of the planet. I listened to you on CCO and was so excited to see you back at KSTP.

[A]

Has your bank been robbed?

[C]

I've been here for 18 years and no.

[A]

Well, that's going to change. What bank do you. What bank are you at?

[C]

I'm not.

[A]

All I got to bring in is a note, A simple note. And you know what I can say on that note? I can say virtually anything. Imagine convincing people of this 200 years ago. Telling them that there's going to be a time when a guy can walk into a bank with a note and the note could say. I could write a note that says in my possession right now. Is an H bomb a hydrogen bomb? If it goes off, millions of people will lose their lives. Could I have a few hundred bucks out of that drawer, please? And they would give it to me as if I have a hydrogen bomb. 200 years ago. I tell people that, they'd say, no way would anybody give you money claiming to have a hydrogen bomb. I said, oh yeah, I could even claim to have a Roman catapult shoved down my trousers. And if they don't give me the money, I'm gonna pull out my old fashioned vintage Roman catapult. And they'd give me the money. Mindless. It's mindless. I'd give him a note that says, here's a note that lets you know I have another note at home that I forgot to bring. That is actually the threatening note. This note's gonna have to do for now till I retrieve that other note. Empty the drawer. Why don't people say wacky things? Once you know, the note can say anything. As long as it ends with give me the money, you can say anything. You could say Marsie Doats and Dozy Doats and little lambs eat Ivy. Empty the drawer. They'll have to do it. We live in the strangest world.

[C]

We do. I read an article today about a guy who was a DB Cooper copycat. A 28 year old guy, young guy, and he was caught after five days and has served 40 years in prison ever since then I thought, boy, what a one to try and copy DB Cooper.

[A]

I used to spend a lot of time thinking about him when I was a kid. He fascinated me. When he jumped out of that plane, where does life go? What was the trajectory? Did he just move to a eastern suburb of the Twin Cities and get a job at a bank? What did he do?

[C]

Tommy, I thought about a lot about what I would say to you when you would call. And one of the things that's always struck me about radio and you in particular, is how personal it feels when I listen to your podcast. It feels like you're talking to just me. It always has and it always. I always felt, you know, in this charmed way that Tommy Mischke was my own guy with this amazing creativity and all of this stuff and. And come to find out, the whole world loves you, Tommy. Everybody I meet, I talk about Tommy Mischke. And they go, oh, yeah, I remember listening to him. I still do.

[A]

Well, I definitely don't want to get an image in my head of a whole lot of people listening. As long as it's just Talking to you. Everything's going to be fine. So I'll just keep that image in my head. I like to imagine there's just the one person out there. I'm talking to them. I had a note from a sales guy today saying, hey, would you ever like to do a public appearance? No, don't want to do that. Not sure what they had in mind.

[C]

I don't blame you. I wouldn't want to either.

[A]

You know, when I was growing up, a public appearance was a football player at a car dealership. Go meet Stu Voight. Go meet Jim Lash at Midway. Chev. When I was really young, my dad took me to meet Billy Martin. He was manager of the Twins, and my dad loved Billy Martin. So we went to see him where? At a car dealership. What would an appearance. What would a public appearance be about? What would that be like? I don't even know what that would involve. Hi, I'm Tom Mishke. Hi. Hi. Thanks for coming out. Thanks for coming out. Then you know what I'd hear as they walked away? Because I've heard it all my life. He's not like I thought he'd be. Is he like you thought he'd be? No, No. I thought he'd be shorter, fatter, balder. He's not as interesting in person.

[C]

I could see how they would be surprised and not know what to expect.

[A]

They have this larger than life idea of you, and it's sort of wizard of Oz. Like, when they meet you, pay no attention to the man behind the curtain. I've had guys say to me, and this is going back a few years, it's ruined the show for me meeting you now. You hear enough of that and you just don't want to do any more public appearances at all.

[C]

The public needs Tommy Mischke more than it knows.

[A]

You know what would be fun if I did a public appearance would be to do it where I met two people in an alley one time. They wanted me to do a radio show for Highland Fest, this big festival with a bunch of businesses. And it was sort of the equivalent of grand old day, but it was in Highland. It was called Highland Fest. And they said, will you do it? Will you do it? And I said, no. They said, you're contractually obligated to do it. So I did it. But you know where I did it? I did it on top of the Highland water tower and there are people yelling down below, Mishke, what the hell? Mohler asked me one time. Mark Moeller asked me to do a program from his store. And I said, I'll do it. I did it on the roof of R.F. mohler Jeweler. And there were people down on the sidewalk going, hey, Mishke, what the hell's the deal?

[C]

This is how I learned I wasn't the only one. When I first started in my career, I met a guy who was about my age, and we became fast friends. And I said, hey, have you ever listened to this Tommy Mischke on AM 1500? And he that not only have I listened to him, I've listened to him from the mountaintops in Colorado.

[A]

That was always magical when that would happen. You'd get these calls from New Mexico or Montana, or you'd get a call from Missouri, and you'd realize tonight the ionosphere is such that it's perfect for sending this hither and yon. It would always be after dark, obviously, and then it really traveled in the winter. When I got to CCO, though, look out, there were 35 states that got it in the winter that blasted all over the place. Now there was a signal. They didn't have to bring their watts back at night. They had that clear channel. CCO was fun for that alone, for how far you could travel with that signal. Of course, now it's podcast country, and you can hit Vietnam. There's probably someone in Ho Chi Minh City right now saying, what the hell is he saying? What am I catching you doing right now? Banking.

[C]

You're catching me getting ready to leave for the day because it's my wife's birthday and I need to get home.

[A]

Oh, you better get home. How old is she?

[C]

She is my age. She is my age. She is in her early, early, early 40s.

[A]

41Ish. 2.

[C]

Yeah.

[A]

She's right smack dab in the middle of life. I mean, just in the middle of life. She sees that old age up there over the mountain, looking back that childhood way back there in the valley. She's just sitting there, right in the middle, in the thick of it. I mean, this is it. This is life right here. She's in the thick of it. Tell her for me. Like sands through an hourglass, so are the days of our lives.

[C]

I will be glad to tell her that.

[A]

What's her first name?

[C]

Jess.

[A]

Jess. Jess is a lovely name. Jess. That's a lovely name. Okay, I'm gonna just do this for Jess, because I've kept you. Happy birthday to you Happy birthday to you hey, hey. Happy birthday, dear Jess Happy birthday to you 42 to you 42 to you all right.

[C]

You've made the new year for me. 2026. Couldn't, couldn't possibly be a bad year. Now, Tommy, I would love to hear from you again. When you get through all the other callers or if you just want to call again, I would love to because I have more questions.

[A]

Maybe we'll meet in one of those alleys for my next public appearance. Just you and one other guy? Maybe just you and Jess.

[C]

Perfect.

[A]

You bring the beer. So long.

[C]

Thanks, Tommy.

[A]

Bye. Bye. American Pressure sells industrial pressure washers. And I love just talking about them. I want to sound like this guy. 200 psi, 2.5 gpm gas powered pressure washer. But I can't get myself to. But that's the way you talk when you're in the pressure washing business. You people out there who use industrial pressure washers, you know what this guy's talking about. Listen to this guy. The SBX 3500 electric pressure washer, 63S megashot gas pressure washer. Pressure washers have to be talked about that way because that's kind of how they work. They get rid of the grit and the grime and the stuff you need removed when you're doing industrial cleaning. American Pressure has been around for decades. This is a family business that knows pressure washers inside and out. They have service fans that repair your pressure washers. They have an in house shop that repairs pressure washers. They are stocked, stocked with parts they deliver all over the country to anybody who needs any part for a pressure washer whatsoever. And when you go there, you can hear this kind of stuff. Steel construction frame, two high pressure rotating jets. They know about these things and what they do and how they can help your company. You people who use pressure washers, I want you to do me two favors. One, call American Pressure. Two. Get a hold of me and let me know you did. I've mentioned in the past that my dear pal who I've been friends with since we were seven years old, is a top dog over there at Minneapolis St. Paul Plumbing, Heating and Air. If you could pick one human being to walk in your front door to help you with a furnace, an air conditioner, a water heater, plumbing issues. If you wanted one person to lead a team walking into your house anywhere in the United States, you would want this guy. Now here's the beauty of this guy. He trains everybody who walks into your house from msp and he trains them to walk into your house the way he would. And the way he would is the way you want people walking into your House. You want them to exude confidence. You want to look at someone who looks responsible, who looks like they know what they're doing, who looks like they'll care about your furnace, your plumbing, the way they would care about their own. You want a gentleman. You want a good soul. You want a Cracker Jack mechanic. You want someone who impresses. So when you look out and you see that MSP truck pull up in front of your house, that's what you can expect to get out of that truck. And my buddy's responsible for putting that crew together. And he's done one hell of a job. Minneapolis, St. Paul Plumbing, heating and air. Well, New York has a new mayor recently sworn in and he has his work cut out for him. Among the many citywide problems he faces, there's this. The annual number of worldwide shark bites is 10 times less than the number of people bitten by other people in New York City. Take all the bites of sharks all over the world in a given year, concentrate that on one beach and it will still not be as dangerous a beach as walking the streets of New York City, where you will be 10 times more likely to be bitten. Wow. Has the Mayor talked about this? I want to add that to the plate of concerns of anyone in public office in New York City and anyone visiting New York City, whatever else you're concerned about visiting New York City, you add being bitten by some guy. I mean, you are on the menu as a human being visiting New York City, you're on the menu. You have to tell yourself that. And yet I can just hear the Mayor saying, new York City's open for business. It's a beautiful day. Come and enjoy. Just like the Mayor in Jaws. Amity means friendship. Come on. The beaches are open. Get in the water. I bet the Chief of Police in New York is saying, we gotta close downtown, Mayor, we gotta close downtown. It's too dangerous for these people. And the Mayor's saying we can't do that. People are making their livelihood off these tourists. And the chief of police is saying, I don't want it on my conscience, Mr. Mayor. When a mother of a 10 year old boy comes to me and says her little guy was chewed upon by Steve Trevor of 1325 89th Street West. You ever seen Steve's eyes, Mayor? Lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes. Well, so what, Chief? I have doll's eyes. Yes, you do, sir. And I've wanted to mention that for a while now, but I thought it'd be inappropriate. In fact, I thought it'd be Creepy to say that. I know Ben mentioned something like that. You having doll's eyes and he was fired. No, Ben said I was a living doll. He was trying to grope me. That's very different. We can't be having that. I've got a city to run. By the way, I want you to know I've looked into the biting and I've learned most of it is coming from toddlers. New York city's toddlers? Yes, Mr. Mayor. A lot of kids are biters. I'm aware of that. I have a biter at home myself. Can't get the little guy to break the habit. He bites his brother when they wrestle. He bites the neighbor kid. My boy has black eyes. Lifeless eyes, like a doll's eyes. The doctor noticed it when he was born. Well, chief, that can be a problem. My wife bites her nails continually. Annoys the hell out of me. What's that about anyway, biting your nails? Do you know, chief? Why would we look at a part of our own anatomy and want to chew on it? She's got lifeless eyes too, Chief. My wife. Black eyes like a doll's eyes. My parents said as much when I first introduced her to em. Dad said to me, what about the lifeless eyes? Don't you think that'll be a problem? I said, dad, bite your lip. And you know what he did right then and there? And those eyes of his, they rolled back white. And I could hear that awful screamin'. I'll never bring a gal home again, Chief. Mr. Mayor, what really are we talking about here? I don't know, chief, but I'll take another drink. Show me the way to go home Umpa numpa numa tired and I wanna go to be. Well, I think that's gonna do it for this show. I want to thank you folks for listening and let you know that if you want to get a hold of me, there are two ways. One, you can text 651-321-89496513, 218949 or you can email the program mishkebardradio.com. that's mishkyubbardradio.com I'd love to hear from you. I've enjoyed speaking with you today, visiting with you, talking to you, yelling at you, getting weird with you, having some fun, goofing around. All the stuff we do so long for now.