MISCHKE: Heads, Ears, and a Spine

Summary

Garage Logic – MISCHKE: Heads, Ears, and a Spine
Gamut Podcast Network | March 13, 2026

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Episode Overview

This episode of Garage Logic, helmed by Tommy Mischke from the satirically “bleak, barren tarmac of University Avenue,” takes listeners on a wide-ranging, reflective journey through darkly amusing news headlines, personal nostalgia, cultural oddities, and phone conversations with listeners—including a med student currently dissecting a human spine. Mischke’s signature blend of offbeat humor, sincerity, and musical asides anchors a freewheeling episode exploring why heads belong on bodies, the mysteries of scent science, Navajo folklore, thriftiness, and why movie theaters matter.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Bear Attacks and the Sacredness of Heads

[02:54–09:10]

• Mischke opens with a story about a mushroom hunter in Japan decapitated by a bear, reflecting humorously yet philosophically on the word “decapitated” and his lifelong discomfort with separating heads from bodies—whether GI Joes or dolls in childhood, or unfortunates in real life.
• Mischke weaves in a playful doo-wop-song bit about the importance of keeping one’s head and torso together ("They go together like shamalama llama dippity dip da wap in all kinds of weather...") as a surreal public service announcement about bear safety.

Memorable Quote:
"There's something sacred to me about keeping the head and body together... I'm good with missing legs, missing arms. Yours more than mine, of course. But there is something just wrong about allowing the head to leave the torso." — Tommy Mischke [04:23]

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2. The Science of Scent and Cultural Curiosities

[09:10–11:49]

• Mischke highlights a quirky news story: the scent women find most arousing is Good & Plenty candy mixed with cucumber, according to the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research Foundation.
• He spins an elaborate, comedic tangent about how such a scent combination might have been discovered, complete with anecdotes involving missing candy, salad-making mothers, and the Good & Plenty candy’s “Viagra-like” marketing.

Memorable Quote:
"Good and Plenty was originally marketed, it's quite obvious to me, as a form of Viagra for men... Now, if that is, in fact, the case...doesn't it make sense that by adding a separate aroma...you could create something to arouse women?" — Tommy Mischke [13:40]

Song Bits:
Integration of advertisements and jingles from the 1950s and ‘60s Good & Plenty commercials, which Mischke interprets as laden with double-entendre.

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3. On Good & Plenty, Nostalgia, and Candy as Cultural Artifact

[11:49–15:36]

• Following the segment on scent, Mischke deep-dives into the history of Good & Plenty—its licorice flavor, candy-coated shell, and its famed Choo Choo Charlie commercials.
• Mischke riffs on the candy’s masculine marketing and draws a humorous through-line to contemporary research on sexual attraction.

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4. Call-In: Med Student, Spines, and Navajo Folklore

[18:26–27:34]

• Mischke calls a listener, Sean—a med student in New Mexico who’s currently handling a human spinal cord. Mischke probes for details, marveling at the surreal experience ("I've never held one. Describe it for me.")
• Sean shares family roots near the Navajo Nation, segueing into a story about Navajo beliefs in skinwalkers, supernatural entities with power to shapeshift and sow fear.
• Mischke reflects on his own travels through New Mexico and regional disparities, then shifts to a larger meditation on medical training, humor in medicine, and the ethics (and value) of laughter—even when it involves anatomical pranks.

Memorable Quotes:
"Laughter is also the best medicine. So it's quite a conundrum... Most humor is a form of aggression. And if you're someone who doesn't like aggression, you're probably not someone who has a real edgy or very interesting sense of humor." — Tommy Mischke [25:00]

"I'm donating my body to humor. More humor in this world." — Mischke [26:29]

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5. Thoughts on Money, Thrift, and Happiness

[36:00–44:20]

• After another caller (Doug Bugfugler/Doug), Mischke discusses the American fixation on gas prices, recounting how he’s never once checked the cost of gas—a stance that astonishes his callers.
• Doug shares anecdotes about friends and family who scrimp on pennies despite having wealth, and Mischke uses this as a springboard for musings on frugality, emotional well-being, and the classic “money can’t buy happiness” study.
• Doug mentions working in titanium sales, leading to a comedic exchange about metals, preciousness, and American vs. Russian manufacturing.

Memorable Quotes:
“I was at his house one day, and his wife was grabbing some Saran Wrap... he didn’t like how she was wasting it, using more than she needed. And he looked at her and said, how much of that are you going to use? You think we're made of money? And I realized then and there, that's how you get a bunch of money. You got to have that mindset day after day... and that’s why I never had any.” — Tommy Mischke [40:00]

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6. Life Choices and Regret: A Radio Career That Wasn't

[46:40–49:01]

• Doug tells the story of losing his radio internship after being caught reading a book while supposed to be promoting a classic rock station. Mischke reflects on life choices, the inevitability of trade-offs, and dealing with disappointment.
• The conversation lightens with jokes about firebombing radio stations and rolling with life’s punches.

Memorable Quote:
"I think the moral of the story is there are going to be choices in life. And when you make your choices, they're going to come with sacrifices. And even the right choice might come with some disappointment, some sadness, but the right choice is the right choice, and you need to find peace somehow with that." — Tommy Mischke [48:34]

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7. Reflections on Theaters, Cultural Change, and “The Sting”

[49:55–54:35]

• Mischke references a survey revealing that only half of Americans attended a movie theater in the past year, with 7% never having attended at all. He contrasts this with his own childhood, when theaters were social and cultural hubs.
• He shares a nostalgic recollection of seeing “The Sting” repeatedly as a boy—imbibing its lines, feeling marked by the joy and camaraderie of communal viewing.

Memorable Quote:
"It was simply where the best entertainment could be found. It's where the great stories lit up the screen and where we all watched them together in the dark. It was magnificent... To have not known that experience at all would have made my life something lesser, I think." — Tommy Mischke [51:00]

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Notable Quotes (with Timestamps)

• “There's something sacred to me about keeping the head and body together. ... There is something just wrong about allowing the head to leave the torso.” — Mischke [04:23]
• "They go together like shamalama llama dippity dip da wap in all kinds of weather." — Mischke [08:07]
• "Good and Plenty was originally marketed, it's quite obvious to me, as a form of Viagra for men." — Mischke [13:40]
• "Laughter is also the best medicine. ... Most humor is a form of aggression." — Mischke [25:00]
• "I'm donating my body to humor. More humor in this world." — Mischke [26:29]
• "It has never interested me. I've never cared about it. I need gas in my car when my car doesn't have gas. So whatever it is, it is." — Mischke [36:55]
• "I think the moral of the story is there are going to be choices in life. ... the right choice is the right choice, and you need to find peace somehow with that." — Mischke [48:34]
• "It's where the great stories lit up the screen and where we all watched them together in the dark. It was magnificent." — Mischke [51:00]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [02:54] – Bear attacks in Japan and the discomfort with separated heads
• [09:10] – Scent research, Good & Plenty & cucumber combination
• [11:49] – The history and marketing of Good & Plenty
• [18:26] – Call with Sean (med student): dissecting spines and Navajo folklore
• [24:25] – Mishke muses on laughter, humor, and medical pranks
• [36:00] – Call with Doug: gas prices and thrifty millionaires
• [44:20] – Doug’s story of losing a radio internship for reading a book
• [49:55] – Changing movie theater attendance; personal nostalgia for “The Sting”

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Tone and Style

Mischke’s tone oscillates between sardonic, whimsical, and sincerely introspective. He employs musicality, absurdist humor, and conversational storytelling. The episode is peppered with playful philosophical musings and earnest warmth toward callers and listeners, all while maintaining GL’s ethos of everyday “common sense” with oddball twists.

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For Listeners New to Garage Logic

This episode demonstrates Mischke’s trademark: examining the odd (a bear attack, a strange scent study), extracting universal thoughts (on mortality, memory, humor), sharing nostalgia (on candy and movies), and inviting listener participation. Both first-time and longtime listeners will appreciate the unique blend of irreverence, wit, and gentle wisdom.

Transcript

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[Tommy Mischke]

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[Mishke]

Coming to you from the bleak, barren tarmac of University Avenue, walled off from the world in the studio I call the Old Outpost. My name's Mishke,

[Tommy Mischke]

Mushroom hunter in Japan. Attacked by bear and decapitated. That's a five syllable word. I've never liked decapitated. I don't like saying it. I can't say those five syllables without picturing the decapitation. The picturing of it comes with saying it. That's why I try never to say decapitation. Could we retire those five syllables? They said the man had scratch marks all over his body, which they said were due to a bear attack. One local cop said, we suspect he was attacked by a bear. The head and torso were separated. Bear attacks have increased in recent years in Japan, posing a challenge for locals living near forest areas. Boy, you don't think about that when you think about Japan. When I think Japan, the last thing that pops into my head is a guy in a forest being attacked by a bear. My images Are all urban. Here's what's fascinating. Along with this victim, police found another dead guy Attacked by another bear in another part of the same town. That guy had been attacked two days earlier. Multiple claw marks on his body as well. But the head was still attached with that guy. There's something sacred to me about keeping the head and body together. Always has been the case with me. I'm good with missing legs, missing arms. Yours more than mine, of course. But there is something just wrong about allowing the head to leave the torso. And I mean, even as a kid, I was against it with GI Joe or with my sister's dolls. I never liked seeing the head by itself. Just over there in a corner. That was a step too far, One I was never willing to take. My buddies would be up for that. They'd want me to do something like that to my sister's dolls. And I'd say, fellas, anything goes here. But we have to leave the heads on. It's just too creepy. I'm all for painting a mustache on their dolls with a little marker, but let's stick with that. It's just disconcerting to see a body without a head. I don't know how bears do it, frankly. Without getting sick. It's like seeing a bird without wings. It's hard on the eyes. We're just so used to these things being together. It's like seeing a train in a farm field by itself. No tracks. No tracks to be found anywhere. Traffic. Just a train in a field. Trains are always on tracks. To see the tracks gone and the train just by itself there, it would be disorienting. Same thing when the head and torso are separated. You almost wish you could train bears to leave the heads on. The head and the body just go together. That's what I say. They go together. They go together like shamalama llama dippity dip da wap in all kinds of weather. Like dipty dipty dippy doo wop dooby doo Ching ching ching and a ching chuap. They should always be as 1. 1, 1, 1, 1. If you should see a bear when you are out somewhere, Just put your hands on your head. Don't let them grab that thing and send it tumbling. Keep it on your body whether alive or dead. Cause they go together like bop bop a loo by shawibity dipty wop in all kinds of weather. I like a dippity dippity dipp A dopy dooba doo A tankity tang they should always be as one. Whoa whoa whoa One, if you should see a bear when you are out somewhere, just put your hands on your head. Don't let them grab that thing and send it tumbling. Keep it on your body, whether alive or dead. This just in. In a study by the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research foundation, the scent women find most arousing is Good and Plenty candy mixed with cucumber. That's a real news story. In a study by the Smell and Taste Treatment and Research foundation, the scent that women find most arousing is Good and Plenty candy mixed with cucumber. Could we pause here for just a moment? I think my question's going to be the obvious one. The most arousing scent. Good and Plenty and fresh cucumbers together. Okay, that's the perfect aroma. How many different aromas would one have to experiment with before way, way, way down the list, eventually combining Good and plenty with cucumbers? I'm just going over all the different aromas in this world of ours. Just the single items, the single smells, scents. Before you'd start combining, that list would be impossibly long. And then the combinations beginning that long, long process of combining different scents, trying this with that, that with this, getting a bit of this with that over there, and then trying this, joining together these two, this and this would generally never be together. But let's put them together. Okay, let's try. I don't know, let's try this. Good and Plenty candy with cucumbers. We got a bingo. They are rarely combined in this world anywhere else. Apparently in research labs, they're combined, but rarely will you ever have these two scents next to each other. But they found the magic elixir. Someone combined Good and plenty with cucumbers. No doubt, after trying hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds and hundreds of individual scents, and then combining thousands and thousands and thousands and thousands of more, finally creating this wonderful scent that really, really fires up the women. That's right. Late, late in the year, after exhausting work, day after day, week after week, 11 months of going at it every day, 12 hours a day in the lab. Finally, at the end of the year, on a whim, randomly, someone went out and bought a box of Good and Plenty. And on the way back to the lab, they saw a fresh vegetable cart on the side of the road where a guy was selling cucumbers. They bought one, they put it together. It was crazy. Who else would have thought of it? No one. It was quite a stretch. The guy just said it was intuitive. It was a notion. He had a possibility that these Might be good together. And it proves to be the scent combination that gets women to go nuts. And the guy said, I knew it. I knew this would be the ticket. See, he remembered his mama when he was a kid, acting strangely when he'd returned from the candy store with his Good and Plenty, which was his favorite treat. She'd be making a salad in the kitchen and he'd leave his Good and Plenty out on the table while he ran to answer a ringing phone. When he would return, the Good and Plenty would be missing upstairs. He would then hear mom and dad in the bedroom. Dad would be shouting, what the hell's gotten into you, Marge? Then he'd hear the old man say, don't bring candy and produce into the bedroom, honey. We're going to have mice problems. But the real giveaway that something was up with the missing candy and his father's mention of produce was when the brass bed would actually come crashing through the ceiling down onto the living room floor, plaster raining down dust everywhere. And mom carrying that expression that one would ordinarily expect to see on someone with full blown rabies. By the way, the least arousing scent. According to researchers, road tar mixed with turpentine, 10th year in a row that did not elicit any reaction that could be described as arousal. In fact, it created a disinterest in sexual activity for up to nine months. One inhale and boom. Things just shut down for the better part of a year with women if they're smelling road tar mixed with turpentine. Actually, after spending some time with this

[Mishke]

today, I found myself curious about Good and Plenty.

[Tommy Mischke]

The candy Good and Plenty, I remember

[Mishke]

it from when I was growing up.

[Tommy Mischke]

Tasted like licorice, as I recall, black licorice. Anyway, I wanted to learn more about Good and Plenty, mostly for my wife. I wanted to learn more about Good and Plenty. And I learned. It was introduced in 1893 in Philadelphia. It's one of the oldest candies you can find out. There's, you know the pink and white capsule shaped Good and Plenty. You know it right in the little box. Candy coated Licorice Bites. First produced by Quaker City chocolate and confectionery company back in 1893. The ingredients, sugar, corn syrup, wheat flour, molasses, licorice extract and salt. Now, I did further research and learned Good and Plenty became particularly popular in the 1950s thanks to Choo Choo Charlie. The Choo Choo Charlie commercials. The company behind Good and Plenty marketed Good Plenty using Choo Choo Charlie. And here's where I would like to pause and register some dismay, folks. Good and Plenty was originally marketed, it's quite obvious to me, as a form of Viagra for men. Have you heard the Choo Choo Charlie commercials from the 50s? Now, you may argue with me, and I wouldn't believe it either, but when you listen to the Choo Choo Charlie commercial for Good and Plenty, I think you'll agree they were pushing this as a kind of Viagra. And if that is, in fact the case, that Good and Plenty was intended originally to arouse men, doesn't it make sense that by adding a separate aroma to Good and Plenty, you could create something to arouse women? In this case, the cucumber. And I don't even want to go down the road of why cucumbers are appealing to women. Nope, nope. I don't even want to go there. I know what you're thinking. This is a family program. But I'm telling you, this all came together for me today when I heard how Good and Plenty was marketed in the 1950s. A bunch of enthusiastic men come together in this song to sing about the power of good and plenty. Listen to this.

[Choo Choo Charlie Singer]

Once upon a time there was an engineer. Choo Choo Charlie was his name. We hear he had an engine and he sure had fun. He used Good and Plenty candy to make his train run. He used Good and Plenty candy to make his train run. He used Good and Plenty candy to make his train run.

[Tommy Mischke]

You don't have to be Freud to get what's going on there. Advertisers in the 1950s had to use a lot of metaphor and couch messages and certain imagery to clear the sensors. You understand that, right? That's how you get a song like this. Now, by the 1960s, they were given Good and Plenty, the rock and roll treatment. But I still think when you listen to what's happening in the 60s with good and Plenty, that we're still even in this rock and roll world, talking about a bedroom romp of some sort.

[Choo Choo Charlie Singer]

Hey, gang, we really started something. Everybody's doing it, doing it, doing it. A Good and Plenty candy. They're chewing it, chewing it longer. Pleasure makes it complete Good and Plenty Easy to eat. How they love that triple treat. Everybody's doing it, wow. Everybody's doing it, wow. A Good and Plenty.

[Tommy Mischke]

Anyway, that's what I did with my day today. And I don't mind saying that I went online and purchased a bunch of Good and Plenty and a whole bunch of cucumbers. Crates of them are being delivered later this week. Bradshaw and Bryant. On them, you can be reliant. Don't be so compliant when you're injured. Be defiant. Too many people are silent. I'm not saying get vulnerable, violent. I'm saying when you're injured. My job is to get you lured into the arms of lawyers. No need to step into their foyers. Look for them online. This law firm, it is the bomb. Go to minnesota.personal injury.com. if the reckless, the careless, the callous leave you injured, don't take the law into your own hands. Sit in the stands. Allow the commands to come from. My man. The finest personal injury attorneys in the state of Minnesota, even their peers will tell you that. Bradshaw and Bryant.

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[Tommy Mischke]

All right, who am I gonna take out to lunch? I'm buying lunch for the next guy who goes with Josh Arnold. Helping you with your retirement savings plans, helping you with your IRA, your 401k. You say you're in your 50s, own your own business and think you're covered and doing all right as you near those retirement years, but you're not sure. Spend 50, that's five, zero minutes with Josh Arnold. Talk to him about your financial situation. He'll open your eyes. He'll flip on some lights. He'll get you seeing clearly the future that could await you.

[Mishke]

You may think you know a lot, but you're not an expert.

[Tommy Mischke]

And Josh is 9529-255000-60850 minutes for free.

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[Tommy Mischke]

Let's pick up the phone and call a listener. Get a little conversation going. Drum up a conversation fashion together. Some kind of conversation. Just gotta spin the big wheel. No big deal. And we land on Sean.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Tom.

[Tommy Mischke]

Yes.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Oh, hey, Mitchy. How's it going?

[Tommy Mischke]

Going all right. How are things with you, Sean?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Oh, they're going all right. You caught me in the middle of lab.

[Tommy Mischke]

In the middle of lab. Let me guess what you're doing right now. You're in front of a Bunsen burner.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

No, actually, a human spinal cord.

[Tommy Mischke]

Is this all copacetic with the university? You playing with a human spinal cord or am I catching you on fetish?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Day today. You're catching me at the university.

[Tommy Mischke]

And the spine, describe it for me. I've never held one.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

It's kind of surreal. It's very pointy, very muscular.

[Tommy Mischke]

And this is all supposedly under the blanket of med school. Quote, unquote, Right? You're in med school?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

I am, yes. I'm in med school down here in New Mexico.

[Tommy Mischke]

In New Mexico. You know, I just have a hard time picturing New Mexico delivering some of our finest doctors, some of our finest pottery. Sure. You know what I'm saying? What is this school? Does it have a name?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

I go to the University of New Mexico School of Medicine. I'm from originally northwestern New Mexico, which

[Tommy Mischke]

is Navajo country, right?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

It is. I grew up town called Farmington, and right on the edge of the Navajo Nation.

[Tommy Mischke]

I did a show from the Navajo reservation there. Just a wildly mystical, mysterious show involving a murder on that reservation. Hung out with different people talking to them about it. I often think about that visit. It had these supernatural elements to it.

[Navajo Grandmother Storyteller]

They have a lot of old beliefs out there in the reservation. The grandmother grew up believing in the skinwalker. She believed the skinwalker does exist. I don't know if you're familiar, but the skinwalker. But skinwalker is half animal, half human being. Walks on his hind legs and can take the shape of any animal. One of the shapes that they believe it comes in is a dog, a wolf. Well, Grandma believes that there was a skinwalker that was involved. The Navajos don't believe in autopsies. Grandmother starts believing that it was the skinwalkers that did it. You think, oh, it's just a story that they're telling me and stuff. But then you look around her house and you see the way that she protects herself from the skinwalker. She hears him at night walking around her house. She hears him going through the walls and stuff. She knows that he exists. When I was interviewing her, she was pointing to the house where the skinwalker lives. And she tells me to keep my voice down because they can hear us and they're watching us. And they lived this every night, every day. And the son took it upon himself to be the buffalo. He was going to go out there and protect his family. So he would go sleep out in front of his house every night with a knife in his hand, watching them every night to see what they were doing, to see if he had to protect the rest of his family from them.

[Tommy Mischke]

I remember when I was in New Mexico, getting this sense of the state divided up into quadrants. I don't Know if my memory is any good, if this is true or not, but the northeastern quadrant was incredibly, breathtakingly beautiful and lush.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Yeah, you get the. You know, the high mountain ranges and

[Tommy Mischke]

the forest, but then you go to the northwest, and you get that real spare, stark Navajo area. And I was told, and I don't know if this is true, that the poor Navajo should have had the lush part. But of course, whitey kicked him into the more deserty part.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

That's unfortunately, how it works.

[Tommy Mischke]

Now, in the south, are there not a couple other quadrants equally different?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

They are. We don't really like southern New Mexico, but there's definitely a north versus south type thing. It's very hot, lots of cows. And then you get these rolling dust storms coming across in the spring and the summer.

[Tommy Mischke]

I get down there, and I'm 13 years old again. Somebody get me a horse.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

I'll tell you, Mitch D. It's a beautiful place to grow up.

[Tommy Mischke]

Where do you see yourself ten years from now?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

I think I want to practice in someplace like New Mexico. I'm interested in neurology, and I really see the need, especially in my state. Now, if you're a neurologist in the Twin Cities or something, you know, you can find one almost on every street corner. But, you know, if you're out in Navajo land, you know, I think we have one.

[Tommy Mischke]

What are you doing with that spine, by the way? What are you actually doing with it right now? What are your plans for that spine?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Right now? We will split it in half, and then we take samples of the nerves that run through your spinal cord, and we see how they respond to a different series of tests.

[Tommy Mischke]

I'm sure the days are over when this used to happen, but I've heard stories about pranks and gags being played with different body parts. I'm sure you'd never admit to that, but, boy, did I used to hear stories involving human body parts in med

[Mishke]

school in the old days.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Yeah. Thankfully, those days are past.

[Tommy Mischke]

It's tricky what you're saying there, because we must remember laughter is also the best medicine. So it's quite a conundrum. I mean, you're holding a human heart. There's a woman heading into a restroom. You could have had that stationed in such a way where one couldn't help but spot it maybe right next to the roll of toilet paper. And at the same time, it's wrong on some level, let's assume it's wrong. It sure feels wrong. I'm sensing it's wrong. As I say, it at the same time that laughter, we don't know what that's doing to the body in the way of adding minutes, possibly days, weeks, months, years maybe. We don't know. It's tricky because laughter involves violation of

[Mishke]

norms so much of the time.

[Tommy Mischke]

In fact, I'll ask you to spend the next month, anytime you're laughing, saying to yourself, aren't I laughing at what was a form of aggression? Most humor is a form of aggression. And if you're someone who doesn't like aggression, you're probably not someone who has a real edgy or very interesting sense of humorous. You're probably someone who just laughs at Bob Hope jokes. There is a trick, really, to falling in love with humor and also being proper and moral. Laughter often comes from the darker little edge of things, where you don't want to go too far over there. Oh, but you can't help but laugh. Look what Donnie did with that spine. I'm thinking spine, and I got about four ideas right now. But again, with all due respect to the person who donated it, they didn't specify. What if someone said, I'm donating my body to the comedy club?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

That's not a bad idea. I might change my will and testament.

[Tommy Mischke]

What a beautiful thing. I'm donating my body to humor. More humor in this world.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

I agree. Mishke, you're keeping us all young.

[Tommy Mischke]

Well, I don't want to keep you. I know you're trying to get some sort of medical degree.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

I.

[Tommy Mischke]

How much longer you got?

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Another two years of medical school, and then I think about six years of residency.

[Tommy Mischke]

Oh, good. I hope by the time you do your residency, they've relaxed a little bit with this hardcore boot camp nonsense. They put you through the wringer. It's almost like legal hazing what they do to you guys.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

It is, and I think it's important in some aspects, but I think some parts of it is the generational trauma of doctor to doctor. It happened to me. So you're gonna go through it too.

[Tommy Mischke]

Yep. I'm proud of you for doing what you're doing. I think it's a lovely thing. I'm sure many people in this world are gonna be helped by you, and I wish you all the best.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Thanks so much, Mitch. You made my day. And we hope to see you out in New Mexico sometime.

[Tommy Mischke]

I won't stop down there without giving you a ring.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

I'll hold you to it.

[Tommy Mischke]

All right, sir.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Take it easy, Mitch.

[Mishke]

Bye.

[Tommy Mischke]

There are people listening right now who

[Mishke]

know someone with Alzheimer's or dementia could be a spouse, could be a parent, could be a grandparent. The decision needs to be made soon of where to place these people. Where will they be most wonderfully cared for? Where will they be loved? Where will they be attended to? Who out there has the ability to care for the medical part of this, the human part of this, the personal part of this? Who does it all? Well, a place that focuses on nothing but memory care, that has mastered this art, this science, this skill, breaking it down into four different stages of memory care needs and breaking their facility down into four different quadrants. Those four different households at the well shire of Medina and Bloomington are what dramatically alter the experience for your loved one. Tour the Wellshire Memory Care center of Bloomington Medina

[Tommy Mischke]

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[Mishke]

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[Tommy Mischke]

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[Mishke]

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[Tommy Mischke]

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[Mishke]

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[Tommy Mischke]

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[Mishke]

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[Tommy Mischke]

to extend the life of the equipment. It all happens with one simple visit

[Mishke]

and it's only 49 bucks.

[Tommy Mischke]

It's the way to wrap up the winter season.

[Mishke]

Now this is important.

[Tommy Mischke]

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[Mishke]

End the season with confidence folks, and

[Tommy Mischke]

you might be grilling in style all summer long. MSP. Well, in a survey of tourist draws around the country, the worst one voted upon by the public, the worst tourist attraction in America is the Hollywood Walk of Fame. The Hollywood Walk of Fame, where you just walk around the sidewalks of Hollywood and come upon a star on the sidewalk with some celebrity's name carved in to the concrete. That's it. It's a star with a celebrity's name. You just look at it and then you keep walking. Then you come up to another star and you look down, there's another name and you keep walking. And pretty soon you've walked around in Hollywood and looked down at names. It's a shocker to me that that was considered the worst tourist attraction. That sounds like one freaking hell of a good time. Part of the problem, they say, is while you're walking, people come up to you and ask you for money or drugs. Another part of the problem is the litter that's blowing around at your feet. And finally, the fact that you occasionally have to step over people who had a little bit too much in the way of drugs. I've never understood why they ever thought the Hollywood walk of fame would draw anyone. It's like visiting a gravestone, except with the body not actually being under there. At least when you visit a gravestone, you get to say to yourself, well, the guy's down there somewhere. The Hollywood walk of fame. You don't get to say that. It's just the chiseled name in the concrete. And that's it. You're visiting a name. I could go in my backyard tomorrow and carve the name Ernest Borgnine into the ground, stand by it and say, I've got a walk of fame here. What are you really doing when you're standing on a sidewalk looking down at a name? Now imagine if that's where they indeed buried the bodies. Now we'd have something somehow that would make it more meaningful, wouldn't it? If you look down at the name and you could say, you know, somewhere down there, Ernest Borgnine's corpse is just laid out probably six feet below that name there. That's interesting. Ernie Borgnine is actually under that sidewalk, mom. Well, whatever do you suppose he's doing there? Well, mom, the line everybody uses is, he's resting. Now, I can't say I've ever understood that, but he's resting in peace. That's what they say, mom. Well, yes, but do you think he's truly resting? Well, I don't know, mom. I know when I rest, I breathe. Well, yes, there's that. And then as the body decays, at what point does the resting stop? Is it still resting halfway through decomposition? Well, that's a good question, mom. And if it isn't resting anymore because of the decomposition, why do we have to be quiet in cemeteries? Why can't we make a lot of noise? Isn't the resting officially over? My mom used to tell me to be quiet in cemeteries. She used to say, shh, all those

[Mishke]

dear folks are resting.

[Tommy Mischke]

That's what she'd tell me. It was some sort of nap fest. I said, mom, being quiet in the library is one thing. I get that. But how do we even know these people still have ears attached to their heads? That soft tissue decomposes pretty quickly. Shut up, Tommy. That's speaking ill of the dead. No, it's not, mom. It's speaking ill of skin tissue. I think the ears in this cemetery are all gone. I think what's in those caskets is a bunch of mush. We're being quiet for mush. Mom, why are we being quiet? For mush. They've turned to mush. They've turned to mush they're all under the ground Their ears have all rotted away they cannot hear a sound but you and I, dear Mama, we are feeling fine so could we please party like it's 1999? Come on, scream and shout and run about as if to wake the dead these corpses no longer have ears They've rotted from their heads. Rest in peace is a lie there's no one resting here so, Mama, grab that whiskey and I will grab that beer. Rest in peace is a lie. No one's resting here. Go on, people, grab your whiskey Go on, grab your beer. All right. They have turned to mush, my friends they have turned to mush so there is no longer any need to hush. And it lands on chad. Chad.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

If you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.

[Tommy Mischke]

My name is Doug Bugfugler, and I'm calling about the asteroid that you have. Saw it on Facebook. Marketplace. I'd like to buy it for my galaxy. Her birthday's coming up in a week. She's going to be 11.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Thanks. Doug Bugfrugler, please stay on the line. That is Chad.

[Tommy Mischke]

Chad, it's Doug Bugfugler.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Hi, Doug Bugflugler.

[Tommy Mischke]

Hello.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

Yeah, yeah.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

What can I do for you, Doug?

[Tommy Mischke]

Well, I don't know. What are you offering?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Oh, Tommy.

[Tommy Mischke]

Well, you were willing to go a long time with Mr. Bugfugler.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Well, you caught me right in the middle of me trying to make a million bucks out in Southern California because it's $5.25 for gasoline.

[Tommy Mischke]

You are out in California right now paying how much a gallon?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Well, if you haven't heard, there's a war going on. So we were about 475.

[Tommy Mischke]

I want to tell you a little secret about me. I'm 63 years old.

[Mishke]

Never once.

[Tommy Mischke]

Never once have I looked at the cost of gasoline.

[Mishke]

Never.

[Tommy Mischke]

It has never interested me. I've never cared about it. I need gas in my car when my car doesn't have gas. So whatever it is, it is. I have never once looked at the numbers. And now all my life, I've heard people talk about the numbers. I've heard people talk about, well, if you go across town, it's this price, and if you go over there, you can get a little cheaper. I've never even thought of that. And I'm telling you, I didn't exactly grow up wealthy. At one point in My life. I was getting my food on Saturdays from Pastor Paul's food pickup. But gas is what it is. And to spend even half a second thinking about it is a half a second too long. A half a second I've wasted. I need the gas. Whatever it is, it is.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

I concur. Can I tell you a story about my friend Doug and his dad?

[Tommy Mischke]

Wait, Doug Fugbugler?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

I call him Double D or Dangerous Doug or Dougie Doug because his first name starts with a D and his last name starts with a D. So there's a lot of nicknames. And I try and be creative.

[Tommy Mischke]

I had a buddy like that. Grown up Danny Donahue. I first went trick or treating with him in fourth grade. He was Oliver Hardy, and he was with my buddy, who was Stan Laurel. And then I was the third guy, and guess who I was?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Philip McCracken.

[Tommy Mischke]

Clyde Barrow. I was Clyde Barrow. Which just involved wearing a little suit. But I wasn't with a woman. There was no one who could be Bonnie. So I was just Clyde Barrow. So those guys were kind of partners. Everybody when we went trick or treating, understood those two guys. They'd say, ha, ha ha. Laurel and Hardy. Good one. Who are you? And I'd say, why, I'm Clyde Barrow. And every house, over and over and over again. Where's Bonnie? Where's Bonnie? Where's Bonnie? Until I wanted to kill people. I wanted to kill adults in a little Catholic parish in St. Paul. I wanted them dead. I wanted their spines pulled and studied in New Mexico. You know what my dad did that saved me? When I went out that night, when I headed out the door, he knew what I was going to be up against. The old man. And Maury Mishke said to me, on the stoop, on the front stoop at 6, 10pm on that Halloween when I was 10 years old, he said, sonny boy, they're all going to be asking, where's Bonnie? Where's Bonnie? Where's Bonnie? You be ready for it. And when they ask you kick into song, you look them in the eye and you say, my bunny lies over the ocean. My bunny lies over the sea. And I did that. I did what my dad told me to do. And everybody laughed. And they gave me a little more candy. That's cute, Doug.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Let me finish up this gasoline story. My dad retired from Minneapolis Public Works, right? He didn't even know how much was in his pension account. So my buddy, who I went to high school with, he says, dad, you have $2 million. He's like, I Do. I didn't even know that. Now here's what this guy spends his time doing. He'll drive 25 miles to save 8 cents at a gasoline.

[Tommy Mischke]

I think one of the reasons this guy has a couple million dollars is because of that very approach.

[Sean (Caller, Med Student)]

True that.

[Tommy Mischke]

What I have found is people who have a ton of money worry about the littlest things. When it comes to money, I'm not going to name names, but I was

[Mishke]

friends with a US Congressman who had

[Tommy Mischke]

quite a bit of money. Quite a bit of money.

[Mishke]

I was at his house one day

[Tommy Mischke]

and his wife was grabbing some Saran Wrap to cover some food. She opened the box and she began to pull on the Saran Wrap. And as it was coming out, she was pulling a little too much out for my friend's taste. He didn't like how she was wasting it, using more than she needed. And he looked at her and said, how much of that are you going to use? You think we're made of money? And I realized then and there, I realized that's how you get a bunch of money. You got to have that mindset day after day, month after month, year after year. And that's why I never had any.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Was it true that Carl Pol had brought a brown paper bag lunch every day to work?

[Tommy Mischke]

I wouldn't be surprised. I don't want to fault these people because again, when the rubber meets the road, I'm going to still be working at 65, 66. And a lot of these guys have retired and are enjoying themselves. I mean, they get the last laugh. I don't have a villa in Italy, although I will cite happiness studies that indicate once you're past about 70,000 a year, not a dollar more can affect your happiness. Hate to pull that card, but it is something I do need to do sometimes with some of these folks.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Maybe that $70,000. That study was done in the 1940s.

[Tommy Mischke]

I gotta tell you something, and I want to apologize because while you were talking, I just had to look this up. It still is $75,000. The optimal state of emotional well being is 75 grand. Anything above that will not increase your emotional well being, your happiness. So it still sits at 75 grand. In fact, what it says is 60 to 95 is a range people typically

[Mishke]

use depending on what part of the country.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

You're doing what you love again and you're doing what you were meant to do on this earth. Now I'm selling a precious metal every day, but I also feel in my years on this earth that I'm lucky to have a really good job again. So I'm just grateful each day for the opportunity I have. And the rest of it is what you make of it.

[Tommy Mischke]

You're selling a precious metal every day.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

I'm selling titanium.

[Tommy Mischke]

I have never met in my life anyone who sells titanium. I'm not even doing it.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

You won't believe the type of money you can make from selling Chinese titanium.

[Tommy Mischke]

Well, Chinese titanium. I know what you're saying there. I was thinking you were talking about good old Toledo, Ohio titanium.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

You know, I will say this about the Chinese and the Russians. They are the best at manufacturing titanium in the world.

[Tommy Mischke]

Problem with a guy like me is you hear titanium the first time and you say, huh, that's interesting. Wonder what that is. You hear it the second time, third time, pretty soon you hear it the 100th time and you realize about the third or fourth time you should have asked what is titanium? Because now you're feeling stupid. You feel everybody around you knows and you're afraid to ask the question what is titanium? But I'm finally going to do it after all these decades. What's titanium?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

It's an extremely strong metal and they use it in, let's say if you need a new hip or, or, or knee, they'll use it in a medical device. You know, a lot of dental products, a lot of the aerospace because it's light but very strong and it's not corrosive to salt water, so it doesn't rust.

[Tommy Mischke]

Why isn't there some rugged guy in a beer commercial who just got done work on a titanium mine and wants a cold one?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Well, it has to be created.

[Tommy Mischke]

Just a minute. If it has to be created, can we really call it a precious metal? I think of precious metals as gold, silver.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

I didn't say I knew what I was talking about. I just said I sold it.

[Tommy Mischke]

Oh, how rich are you?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Oh, Doug, I've been divorced and then I was in Vegas in 09 during the housing collapse when I was selling mortgages. So kind of skimmed my knee a little bit. But let's get back to that you need so much to be happy type thing.

[Tommy Mischke]

My guess is your ex wife is quite happy financially.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Yeah, but she's a great mom. So we've got a beautiful 14 year old girl that.

[Tommy Mischke]

Oh, you got a 14 year old girl? Boy, between now and 20 years of age I would not want to be you. Just the worry that awaits you, just the anxiety. You are going to be riddled with stress.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Yeah. You got any advice?

[Tommy Mischke]

There's no amount of money that can take that away.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

She's a sweetheart of a girl. She's gotten a little bit more quiet.

[Tommy Mischke]

Well, wait a minute, wait a minute.

[Mishke]

Sometimes when they go quiet right about 14, it means they're hearing the call for the convent.

[Tommy Mischke]

I don't want to worry you, but it's possible that your daughter is considering a lifetime as a nun. And in many ways that should remove the stress.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

If my ex wife's mother would have never left the convent, I would have never met my ex wife and there go never had my child.

[Tommy Mischke]

Did your wife's mother leave the convent?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

She did.

[Tommy Mischke]

Wow. I had a buddy growing up, Pat Hennessy, whose old man begged the priesthood and mother took off on the convent, and they met and they got married. I can't tell you what it was like over at their house, the ex nun and the ex priest. She was my den mother, and Cub Scouts, they told me God kicked them out. I think they were pursuing the intimate shenanigans. Before it was official, he had written a song about her called the Way Her Veil Moves in the Summer Wind.

[Mishke]

Lovely, romantic tune.

[Tommy Mischke]

And he would be outside the window

[Mishke]

of the convent at night singing it.

[Tommy Mischke]

And the mother superior would chase him away, but he would leave behind the

[Mishke]

words and the notes.

[Tommy Mischke]

Pretty soon, the women in the convent

[Mishke]

were singing that song in the choir on Sundays.

[Tommy Mischke]

And she fell in love with him

[Mishke]

through hearing that song sung on Sundays.

[Tommy Mischke]

Doug, are you there?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

I'm here, I'm here. Can I tell you my one? I sent you this message, but I had gotten an internship, the local rock station, you know, the KQ, the 90 Tuesday the wall man. Taking it to the noon hour with double shots from your favorite artists all day long. And they said, we've got your first assignment, young man. I said, I can't wait. I'm going to get in radio and do something with my life. They sent me down to the taste of Minnesota, and all they did was park a bus there. No table, no chairs, nothing. They just put a bus right there. So I showed up. I thought, all right, well, I'm going to do my job here. And I sat outside that bus as hundreds, if not thousands of people walked by for two, three, four hours. I got tired, Mitch Key. I got real tired. So I went to my truck and I grabbed a chair. And at that time, I thought girls really liked guys who read books. Well, I grew up dyslexic, so I wasn't a big reader. But I finally gotten into reading because I heard Bob Dylan went Down to the local New York City public library and started writing all these songs. So I thought, maybe I'll be like Bob Dylan and read some books and be smart. Well, lo and behold, after four hours of standing there and people walking by me saying, why are you hanging out by the KQ bus? I grabbed a chair and started reading a couple pages in the book. Lo and behold, there was a secret shopper from the classic rock station walking by, and she saw me reading that book, and she thought I was not promoting the radio station. And so a week later, they said, thanks for trying out for our internship, but we don't think you're going to be a good fit. Because I read a book. My radio career ended right there.

[Mishke]

What's the moral of that story, do you think?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Gosh, I don't know. That I really wasn't supposed to be in radio.

[Tommy Mischke]

I think the moral of the story is there are going to be choices in life.

[Mishke]

And when you make your choices, they're

[Tommy Mischke]

going to come with sacrifices. And even the right choice might come with some disappointment, some sadness, but the right choice is the right choice, and you need to find peace somehow with that.

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

And it's not what happens to you, it's how you react.

[Tommy Mischke]

That's right. And you reacted by firebombing the radio station. Is that right?

[Doug Bugfugler (Caller)]

Well, I stopped listening to the wall man taking me into the noon hour where he promised me double shots every Tuesday from my favorite rock and roll artist. That's for sure.

[Mishke]

There are companies out there that sell you something and wave goodbye. American Pressure of Robbinsdale is not that company. These people live and breathe industrial pressure washers, decades of work in this field. They know every machine, every part, every

[Tommy Mischke]

problem you're going to have long before you ever have it.

[Mishke]

You need equipment, they have the best. You need it repaired. They either come to you or they have a service repair shop there in Robbinsdale.

[Tommy Mischke]

You need a part.

[Mishke]

They stock over a thousand of them.

[Tommy Mischke]

They send them all over the country.

[Mishke]

But here's what I love most about American pressure. They're problem solvers.

[Tommy Mischke]

You call them up with a problem,

[Mishke]

a real human being answers the phone and helps you out. And if you let American pressure visit you, walk through your operation, they will find you efficiency and money. You didn't know you were losing. You didn't know you were missing. You don't know what you don't know. Let American Pressure help you. It's not going to cost you. It's going to make you money. American Pressure of Robbinsdale has it all. With the Academy Awards in the news, I thought I'd mention that in a recent survey of Americans, it was learned that only half went to a movie theater in the last year. Only half of Americans visited a movie theater in the last year. That's sure not the way it was. When I was a young man, the vast majority of people went to movie theaters then. Theaters simply were where it was at. They were entertainment central. It was simply where the best entertainment could be found. It's where the great stories lit up the screen and where we all watched them together in the dark. It was magnificent. I'm stunned to learn that we're down to just half of us going to a movie theater even once within a year. Now, me, I still go to movie theaters regularly. For me, the lights going down and that giant screen lighting up before me and a bucket of popcorn there in my lap. That's an unbeatable combination for helping me escape the world and for helping me enter a wild landscape of the imagination. It's just a wondrous ride. I need it in my life, and I have all of my life. But a far more startling piece of information was unearthed in this survey. 7% of adults in America, 7% have never.

[Tommy Mischke]

Never, I mean, never. I mean, not once, not ever, not ever have they gone to a theater. Not a single time. Are they even curious about it? No.

[Mishke]

I still remember when I was 11 years old, the Sting came out, and, man, it was a perfect storm. First of all, eleven is a wonderful time in one's life to be sitting in a movie theater. And I'd sit in that theater by myself. Secondly, the Sting was a near perfect film in every way, offering everything I ever wanted in a film. Number three, it was the featured film of my local neighborhood theater from Christmas day of 73 to Labor Day weekend of 74.

[Tommy Mischke]

Yeah, it stayed at that theater for

[Mishke]

months and months, filling up with people repeatedly. Lastly, my teenage brother was the usher at the theater, so he got me in free every time. I can't count how many times I watched the Sting. So many times. I memorized most of the lines. I could recite the film to my friends. Sometimes when the movie was over, I would just sit in my seat and wait 20 minutes and it would start again. And after that showing, I'd sit and wait 20 minutes and watch it again. It was Newman and Redford, the perfect combination for a young boy. The combination we had all seen with Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. It was the perfect storm indeed. All these things coming together beautifully to have not known that experience at all would have made my life something lesser, I think. I cannot imagine never, ever going to a movie theater. I would like to meet one of those 7% sometime. Maybe you represent the 7%. I would like to know your story.

[Tommy Mischke]

If you are one of the 7%

[Mishke]

and have never, ever, ever entered a movie theater, I would just like to know why. I'm quite serious. I'll end this show by letting you know I do enjoy hearing from you folks. My phone number 651-3218, 949-6513, 218949. You can leave a voicemail or you can text me there if you want to email. The email address is mishkebardradio.com thanks for listening everyone. I'll talk to you again next time.