MISCHKE: I Can See You (ep. 114)

Summary

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Garage Logic – MISCHKE: I Can See You (Ep. 114)

Release Date: May 27, 2026
Host: Tommy Mischke
Network: Gamut Podcast Network

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Overview

This episode of Garage Logic welcomes Tommy Mischke for his signature blend of human storytelling and observational humor. Titled “I Can See You,” the episode peers into the “lost art” of human narrative, blending whimsical speculation (what if the host could literally see his listeners?), slices of everyday life, darkly comic fantasies, and poignant interviews. The episode is quintessential Mishke—musing about day-to-day quirks, storytelling with unexpected asides, and heartfelt exchanges. Notably, he features an extended, honest conversation with a blue-collar listener, offering a gentle meditation on work, life, and relationships in the American Midwest.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Reflection: The Art of Storytelling (01:35)

• Mischke frames the episode against today’s AI-driven, sound bite world, positioning his show as a return to “simple human storytelling.”
• He riffs on the concept of being able to "see" the podcast audience and imaginatively describes various listeners and their daily lives, blending reality and absurd fiction (for example, a listener distractedly admiring himself in the car mirror, leading to an accident—[03:00]).

“Golly, I wish I could see you. What if I could?” – Mischke [01:35]

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2. Absurd Storytelling: Listener Vignettes (03:00–10:00)

• Mischke invents quick sketches of imagined listeners (Gary, Christy, Larry), moving between humor and darkly exaggerated scenarios. Christy, inspired by a magazine ad, grabs a shotgun and takes drastic action—a parody of motivational messages taken to the extreme ([04:30]).
• He reflects on listeners’ fleeting attention, disappointment, and the comfort that his podcast might offer—or fail to offer—suggesting listeners should “just do it” and follow their own dreams, dropping the podcast if necessary.

“I want to say to you people…you can’t count on me to get you through. I just don’t have it in me.” – Mischke [07:40]

• He muses about creative failure and legacy: artists being “discovered by later generations” as a consolation for present lack of recognition ([08:30]).

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3. Dog Walking and Social Etiquette Anecdotes (12:00–19:00)

• A lighthearted, highly detailed bit about people’s relationship to their pets—especially watching dogs poop, social obligations of cleaning up, and escalating ridiculous scenarios surrounding pet waste ([12:40]).

“Can I come into your house and flush it down your toilet?” – Mischke [13:30]

• He tells a "true story" about a neighborhood conflict over a dog’s vomit, involving a dispute with police intervention, highlighting how the minutiae of ordinary life can be as fascinating as headline news ([15:00]).

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4. Interview: Jeremy the Listener—Work, Love, and Life Paths (19:35–34:35)

• Mischke has a long, genuine conversation with Jeremy, a 54-year-old business owner tending to the grounds of a high school as they speak ([19:35]).
• Jeremy reflects on starting his lawn & snow service at 16, working for 37 years, blowing early paychecks on stereo equipment, and cruising with friends to hip-hop and country music ([21:43]–[26:44]).
• The discussion turns to romance. Jeremy met his wife Marion in an AOL chatroom 30 years ago, first meeting for a movie date at Mall of America. He recalls keeping the ticket stub from their first date to “The Edge” ([27:04]–[28:20]).
• Mischke and Jeremy explore relationships, marriage proposals, and teasingly dissect “romantic” logic—contrasting Jeremy’s decisiveness to his own brother’s abstract plan to marry “whoever” ([29:00]).
• Jeremy proposed at Split Rock Lighthouse with a poetic line about his love surpassing all the water in Lake Superior ([30:09]).

“‘Lake Superior will never hold the amount of love I have for you.’” – Jeremy [30:19]

• Discussion turns to Marion’s emotional reserve (she doesn’t cry at movies), her career as a registered nurse (including years at a men’s prison), and the odd realities of such work ([31:07]–[33:15]).
• Jeremy reflects that Marion was drawn to his honesty and hard work—a nod to enduring Midwest values ([33:26]).

“She realized I was genuine and honest and a hard worker.” – Jeremy [33:26]

• The interview closes with mutual appreciation, Jeremy expressing his long-standing fandom, and Mischke wishing the couple well ([34:10]–[34:35]).

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5. Satirical and Dark Humor Interludes

• Mischke delivers an extended satirical riff about a surgeon confusing a spleen and liver, culminating in farcical dialogue between staff and the oblivious “Dr. Tom” ([39:45–42:00]).

“Sir, that doesn’t look anything like a spleen. Well, what do you mean? Since it is a spleen, it must look exactly like a spleen.” – Mischke as Dr. Tom [41:00]

• Faux "sports coverage" of wildfires, personifying flames as sports teams with a fan base, lampooning disaster reporting and our odd relationships to news ([42:02–46:53]).

“The Flames are working together like a real team this year, and I sense a whole new attitude across the board.” – Mischke (as fire “coach”) [43:19]

• Spirit Airlines’ shutdown is reimagined as the entire airline industry being permanently canceled and humanity returning to “walking” across the continent, satirizing customer service and existential absurdity ([46:53–50:54]).

“We’re reconsidering flight in general…We’re going to dismantle the entire airline industry…reintroduce walking as a great way to get around.” – Mischke [48:00]

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6. Memorable Moments & Notable Quotes

• On creative perseverance:
  “Surely there must be some podcasts out there where the listener numbers have dwindled down…till eventually no one's listening. But the podcasters plow through anyway. They put out the shows because that's what they were put on this earth to do.” — Mischke [07:00]

• On perspective:
  “For people alive today, I'm terrible…But you have to understand, I'm playing for future generations.” — Unnamed failed musician (via Mischke) [09:00]

• On neighborliness and nostalgia:
  “We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of something most of us took for granted. The Neighborhood Bank…Not because a computer in Delaware told him so, but because he knew.” — Mischke [38:10]

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Timestamps for Noteworthy Segments

• 01:35 – Mischke’s meta “I Can See You” framing and audience riff
• 03:00–10:00 – Listener vignettes: Gary, Christy, Larry; “Just Do It” satire
• 12:40–19:00 – Dog-walking, pet waste, and neighborhood etiquette stories
• 19:35–34:35 – Jeremy interview: lawn business, high school, marriage, family, work
• 39:45–42:00 – Satirical surgeon story (“liver vs. spleen”)
• 42:02–46:53 – Wildfire “sports” coverage parody
• 46:53–50:54 – Spirit Airlines/air travel absurdist satire

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Tone and Style

• Mischke’s storytelling is wry, self-deprecating, warmly observational, and mischievously absurd.
• There’s real empathy and curiosity, especially in the listener interview. The conversational style is casual, often digressing into playful rants or wild hypotheticals.
• Humorous exaggeration often veers into dark or surreal territory, but always returns to appreciation of ordinary life.

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Summary

“I Can See You” exemplifies Mischke’s unique voice: half philosophical neighbor, half offbeat raconteur. The episode draws comedy and human insight from everyday moments, celebrates small-town values, and finds humor in disappointment, persistence, and the mundane. Even as he jokes about the futility of doing a podcast for “nobody,” the genuine connection with listeners—real or imagined—shines through. For all its whimsical detours, the episode is a meditation on attention, memory, ordinary heroics, and the meaning we find in just “going about the business of living our lives.”

Transcript

[A]

It's a world of artificial intelligence, of limited character tweets, of mini clips on TikTok. My name's Mishke, and the Mishke Podcast offers something wholly different. The lost art of simple human storytelling. Whether humorous tales, absurd narratives, or real drama, telling stories is my stock in trade. So escape to the very human Mishke Podcast.

[B]

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[C]

Hey, it's Pete Arnold from Hire It Pro. And I've used garagelogic to promote my business for years and I have seen great results in new clients for my services from the GL audience. I recommend it to any business looking for new customers. GL ers are pretty awesome. You just gotta ask for an introduction.

[B]

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[A]

Hello, all you lovely people. Golly, I wish I could see you. What if I could? What if I could see you right now? I'm not sure if that would be good or not. My name's Mishke. What would I see were I to suddenly see all of. Hey, there's Gary driving in the car and listening. He's spending an inordinate amount of time looking in his rear view mirror, not at what's out the back, right into his own face. Yeah, he's sneaking peeks at his face, seeing if he's still as good looking as he used to be. He's worried that as he's getting older, he's just flat out getting uglier. And it's driving him crazy. He keeps looking into that mirror, saying, you got to be kidding me. Maybe if I take my glasses off. Oh, yeah, when I take my glasses off, I'm looking more like I did when I was younger. Then he puts his glasses back on and he says, what the hell? Good Lord, Life is hard on a man. And right at that moment, he goes head on into a semi, spending too much time looking at that rear view mirror. Cops rarely pull you over for that, but they should. That's as much distracted driving as looking at your cell phone, continually checking yourself out in the rearview mirror. You went into the semi head on. And the crazy thing is, the last thing you were hearing was my voice. What does that do to the first few moments in the afterlife? You see the light. You're in the tunnel, you're moving toward the light, and you're thinking, what was Mishki just saying? Nothing important, really. Nothing important? Not compared to what you got going on. You just continue on your way. Buh. Bye. And then there's Christy. She's listening. She's in her kitchen right now. She's not cooking any food. Her husband does all the cooking. She's never cooked a damn thing. What she likes about her kitchen is the sunlight. She likes the way the light comes through the window. It makes her happy. And there's a casement window above the sink that when you open it, you hear all the birds in the backyard. So she's sitting there listening, paging through some women's magazine she still gets. And she doesn't know why, she doesn't really like it, but she's paging through it and listening to me. She's staring at an ad featuring Serena Williams. The ad says, if they think your dreams are crazy, show them what crazy dreams can do. And then there's the Nike swoosh. And it says, just do it. Just do it. So Christy does. She gets up, she goes into the mudroom, grabs a shotgun, goes into her backyard and shoots Raymond, the next door neighbor who's playing AC DC Raymond's wife comes running out. What do you think you're doing? And Christy says, just doing it. And you oughta too, honey. He was never any good for you. It's ladies night at the Paper moon this evening. Why don't you join me and we'll find ourselves some real men? And the woman says, what about your husband, Andy? And Christy says, andy's a putz. He's always been a putz. That's not what I need in my life. Serena Williams wants me to realize my dream. My dream is waiting at the paper moon tonight. Half price drinks too. Come with me. And the woman says, well, who's going to take care of the body? And Christy says, the same person who brought him here? And the woman says, God. And Christy says, yeah, he's got a whole decomposition thing he created. It's crazy. Come Back in a week and take a look at that guy. See the difference? So they head to the paper Moon that night, and my show is forgotten. Completely forgotten. Christy doesn't even recall how much she was enjoying it in the kitchen, paging through that women's magazine. No, I wasn't a big part of her day. This day. And that's going to happen. Sometimes I see you people listening Larry out there, and I can tell you're saying to yourself, oh, this isn't one of Mishki's good shows. Damn it, I needed a good one today. I have the same problem in life so often, I'm disappointed. You plan a picnic and it rains. Same thing with this show. You tune in and it's a dud, and you have to deal with that disappointment. I want to say to you people, as I look at you all and I can now see every one of you, I want to just say, you can't count on me to get you through. I just don't have it in me. I mean, I can tag along some days, keep you from being completely bored, but I think what you need to do is listen to Serena Williams. You need to have a crazy dream, and then you got to go out there and show them what a crazy dream can do. I guess what I want to say to you all right now is just do it. And just do it means. Well, you know what it means. Turn off this podcast right now. Turn it off and go make something of yourselves. I'd like to try to pull something off that a lot of podcasts have trouble with continuing with no listeners whatsoever. And not just continuing with this show, but with this career without any listeners. Surely there must be some podcasts out there where the listener numbers have dwindled down, dwindled down, dwindled down until eventually no one's listening. But the podcasters plow through anyway. They put out the shows because that's what they were put on this earth to do. They believe. It's just that no one else believes that. I knew a guy who wanted to be a singer and a guitar player and play in public, perform for people. He thought that's what he was meant to do with this life of his. And that could not possibly have been because he was. Well, he was no good. And no one would show. He'd play at a coffee shop, and there'd be nobody there. And if anybody did come in, they'd read or get their coffee to go. No one ever listened to him. No one enjoyed his music, but the guy was sure he was okay, at the very least, okay, maybe even good. He was a bad performer, a bad singer and a bad player. It was some of the worst music anybody had ever heard live. The coffee shops didn't really understand what good music was, and they'd let them play on Monday night only. And the people working at the coffee shop would say at the end of a night, are you a little concerned that given the fact that no one ever listens to you, you might be no good at this? Just wondering. We've been watching you for weeks now and no one ever enjoys your music. Are you at all concerned that you might not have it that certain something? We've been talking just back in the kitchen and, well, we've concluded you're terrible, just absolutely terrible at this. And the man said something really profound. He said, for people alive today, I'm terrible. No two ways about it. The people alive today do not think I have anything going, anything to offer. They see no talent whatsoever. But you have to understand, I'm playing for future generations. I believe one day, long after everyone alive today is gone, one day they'll discover my music and realize once there was this genius, this misunderstood genius, and I'm okay playing for generations not yet born, knowing my day will come. Long after I'm gone, my day will come. And it truly is one of the most beautiful things ever invented. The idea of being discovered by later generations. It allows people who are bad at something now to still do it. That spark of hope that future generations may have a different opinion. All over this country, all over this world, there are artists who tell themselves, I'm going to leave my work for after I die. Leave it to be discovered by generations who will not only appreciate it, but perhaps elevate me to that genius status. Perhaps get to a point where there's a small statue in a town square of me, say, playing the guitar, and people will talk about how tragic it was that no one understood this person in their time. That's really the greatest salve ever invented for artists. When no one likes you, no one likes what you do. You can lie back at night in bed looking at the car lights and the shadows move across the ceiling and you can say, they hate me now. Oh boy, I am disliked. But one day, one fine day, and you can sleep well knowing there will be countless numbers celebrating the fact that you came along 470 years earlier. Who else do I see out there listening to this podcast? Ah, Paul. I see you. I see you. Paul, what are you doing? Oh, you're walking your dog. You're walking your dog. What's really weird about this moment right now is as these words are going into your ear, you're watching your dog poop. That's what I don't like about my job. So often. I think I'm saying something right when someone is listening while watching their dog poop. I'll tell you something about me. I used to have a dog. I wouldn't watch him poop. I'd look the other way. A lot of people out there who walk their dogs, they watch them poop. I think to myself, look the other way. Can't you turn around? Let the dog have some privacy? No. They stare at him. Attaboy, Barney. Yeah, that's it. Oh, arch your back. Oh, yeah, that's great. Oh, I like it when you do that.

[D]

There you go.

[A]

Oh, look at that. That's gonna be a big mess. I should probably pick it up with my little baggie. But I don't see anybody looking. And the lady across the street. Hey, hey, I see you. You pick up your dog's poop. Oh, sorry, ma'. Am. I didn't notice he had pooped. My apologies. What do you mean you didn't notice? You were watching him. You were practically studying him, you freak. Where are you gonna dump it? Don't put it in my garbage bin. Well, ma', am, I can't be walking all over the neighborhood with this. You know how ridiculous I feel walking through a neighborhood holding dog crap in my hand for 20, 30 minutes? I gotta put it somewhere. Can I come into your house and flush it down your toilet? You get away from me. This is a true story. I was in my neighborhood one time when I watched a guy's dog vomit. Not poop, vomit. And he vomited on the boulevard into the grass. The dog did. And the guy continued walking down the street. And there was a fella working with a sprinkler in his front yard who watched this and said, hey, hey, hey, hey. Pick that up. And the dog owner said, no, that's vomit. That's not poop. And this homeowner said, I don't care what it is. Get it out of there. Pick that up. I don't want that on my boulevard. And this dog owner actually said, you know the rules are you gotta pick up the crap. There's nothing about vomit. I don't even think you can pick up vomit. The substance of that is totally different. I'm sorry it happened, but I'm not obligated to take care of that. My obligations involve poop and poop only. And the homeowner said, I'm calling the cops. And the dog owner said, you go right ahead and call the cops. I'm sure they'll say my obligation is only to pick up his crap. Well, I hung out there, and cops came and they had a discussion in the street, the dog owner, the homeowner, and the cops, about what the rules are. Do you know the rules when your dog vomits, you should look them up in your individual municipalities. The cops ended up telling the homeowner, in this city, there is no law saying you gotta pick up your dog's vomit. The cops said, there should be, but there's not right now. So the dog owner is within his rights, leaving that vomit right there on your boulevard. And the homeowner was absolutely livid. The dog owner at this point was getting a bit prickly and started to say things like, boy, I'd like to train my dog to only vomit. Would that make the walks more pleasant for me if he just vomited? Exiting that way only would make life a whole lot more pleasant for me. Wonder if I can train my dog to operate in that manner. And the cops were having to say, hey, lighten up there, fella. Come on. Easy, easy, easy. The homeowner wanted to fight. I watched this happen. Aren't stories from our real lives interesting? The little things that happen out there while we go about the business of just living our lives, I think sometimes that's about as interesting as it gets. When do people cease to be fascinating? Never. I walk out my front door each day and encounter people the way some botanist walks into a greenhouse to look at all the different plants. That botanist is thrilled, excited, entertained, enthralled. Me, too. And I'll have more about people right after this break. When it comes to memory care for your loved one, you want a facility that cares. No, no, no. I'm not doing that to you. You've heard it a hundred times from different operations. Probably tuned it out before you got to the fourth sentence. And honestly, you should have. Let me tell you what I saw when I walked into the Wellshire Memory Care Center. I saw an ice cream parlor, a cinema, a library, a barbershop, a salon. I heard a live musician. I saw a town square environment. I saw balconies and gardens, warm and bright. I saw people who looked content. The well shire does one thing, one thing only. Memory care. Four different households for the four stages of memory care, and a building designed so that every resident, every single one, steps out of their room and immediately sees the front desk. They always know where they are. They always know where help is. That's not a feature. That's a philosophy. See, the Wellshire Memory Care center is a revolution in memory care. It's the best we have in this region of the country. So tour it. The Wellshire of Bloomington and Medina. There's a certain kind of business that doesn't get built in a day, doesn't get built in a year. It gets built the way a family gets built. Slowly, deliberately, with the understanding that your name, your name is on everything you do. You see, Fury Motors has been synonymous with the Leonard family for over 60 years. Four locations. Waconia, Forest, Lake, South, St. Paul, Stillwater. Different rooftops, same bloodline, same name on the marquee. Fury. One of the great names in the business history of this region. The highest customer satisfaction rating you'll ever encounter at a car dealership. That's what happens when people who actually care about their reputation do business. You can feel that difference, that difference between a dealership that needs your sale and the one that wants your trust. Fury wants your trust. They've been wanting it for 60 some years. They've been earning it for 60 some years. I think they've earned a conversation with you. Fury Motors. Find [e-mail].

[C]

What's going on, Tommy?

[A]

Well, a human being answers at this number. How many calls do you figure I've made to this number over the months?

[C]

I noticed I missed a call last week. You caught me once after I got done with a marathon. 36 hour marathon of snowplowing. I run a snowplow service.

[A]

What am I catching you doing?

[C]

All right, now you're catching me weed whipping the high school for Chicago Lakes. I run a lawn and snow service and one of our accounts is maintaining the grounds for Chissaga Lakes.

[A]

Right now you're weed whipping the ground. There's something about that. I don't know what it is. Weed whipping the ground. I mean, I've never really thought about the vibe of that phrase. Weed whipping the ground.

[C]

Oh, yeah?

[A]

What did the ground do that? It deserved a whooping. You're just beating the ground, taking out all your anger on the ground. What the ground ever do but support you from the day you were born.

[C]

You got a point.

[A]

How old are you?

[C]

54.

[A]

54, old man, look at my life. 54 and there's so much more. Wait, that's not. The age was 24. My God, that was 30 years ago that you wrote that song to that old man. How does it feel to be the old guy now?

[C]

Sometimes I wonder if I've gained any knowledge.

[A]

Well, say you haven't. Was that really what this was all supposed to be about? I never got the brochures saying we're supposed to learn a bunch of stuff here. In fact, there was really never anything stated about what we're supposed to do while we're here. Jeremy, there was nothing when we were born that we could say absolutely was the pamphlet of what we're supposed to do once we get here. Which leads me to believe we were all given carte blanche to figure it out as we go.

[C]

And that's kind of what I've done, because I started my business when I was 16 and I'm still doing it 37 years later.

[A]

Wait a minute. At 16 years of age, you started whipping the ground and you're still doing it?

[C]

Yep. My dad threw an ad in the paper for me to start cutting grass somewhere. I turned 16 for 10 bucks an hour.

[A]

10 bucks an hour? And did you say to your old man, could we do a little better than that, Dad?

[C]

1998, when I was living at home at 16 and going out and working 40 hours a week and making 400 cash and putting in my pocket, I was rich.

[A]

What were you blowing that money on as a teenager, do you recall?

[C]

Stereo equipment for my truck.

[A]

So you were just one of these 16 year olds who got a stereo, got a truck, and then what did you do? I mean, you have the stereo, you got the truck, you're driving around on a summer day, maybe finding a lake to cruise around. What were you hoping for? That just by blasting that particular tune, some girl would jump in your truck, I suppose. Or was the feeling it's just perfect, just like that. Just me, my truck and the music. I don't need anything more to occur than that.

[C]

I had a couple buddies that have stereos and we'd just drive around, listen to music.

[A]

So you're driving around with the Buddies and you got the music playing. What do you got, a Sodi Pop in your hand or what? What are you drinking?

[C]

Do you figure Dr. Pepper?

[A]

That was my drink. Dr. Pepper. So you got the Dr. Pepper and you got the Buddies and you got the tunes. What do you think's blasting? What's coming out of that stereo? What song?

[C]

Notorious. BIG And Big Papa.

[A]

Did you while away your high school years just driving around in that truck? Yours with that fine stereo? Was that pretty much high school in a nutshell?

[C]

Yeah, pretty much. You know, play high School baseball. And in fact, I'm standing on the field that I played high school baseball on right now.

[A]

Glory days, hell pass you by Glory days in a wing of a young girl's eye. What position did you play?

[C]

Second base. That's the furthest I ever got with girls in high school, too.

[A]

Second isn't bad. Sometimes lingering at second base as a high schooler is a bit of nirvana. There could be problems when the other bases are attended to. Do you remember your favorite gal from high school? Do you remember her?

[C]

I had a girlfriend for a couple of years in high school.

[A]

What did she like to listen to?

[C]

We'd listen to country when we were driving around.

[A]

There was a girl in high school one time who I took a fancy to. She was very pretty. I had a chance to get in the backseat of a car with her, and you know what she wanted to play? You know what she wanted to put on the old stereo. This was heartbreaking to old Mishk because this was not a song that was going to put me in any kind of mood for much of anything. It was going to put me in the mood, I guess, to maybe, I don't know, break a windshield. She wanted to play Dan Fogelberg's Longer. Are you familiar with the song?

[C]

Nope.

[A]

Well, Dan died. And when I learned he died, I feared someone had killed him over that song. But no, no. There's this song called Longer, and she wanted to listen to it while we were in the back seat. Boy, did that pose a conundrum. Here's this woman. You like her? She's lovely. Everything's swell. But that's her song. She's turning it up loud. Dan Fogelberg singing Longer.

[C]

Never heard the song.

[A]

Well, if you ever hear it, let me know if in that moment you don't have a pulmonary embolism. Longer than there's been fishes in the ocean Higher than any bird ever flew Longer than there've been stars up in the heavens I've been in love with you Stronger than any mountain cathedral Truer than any tree ever grew My least favorite line now deeper than any forest prime evil I am in love with you I'll bring fire in the winter you'll send showers in the spring we'll fly through the falls and summers with love on our wings Then it gets to this part. I'm 15 years old and he's saying through the years as the fire starts to mellow Burning lines in the book of our lives the though the binding cracks and the pages start to yellow I'll be in love with you. I'm on Golden Pond already in this song with Henry Fonda. I'm still a teenager in the backseat with his girl and we're dealing with Henry's Alzheimer's. Catherine Hepburn saying Yael by night in shining armor. Well, needless to say, things didn't get too far. So you get out of high school, and you still got the truck and the stereo, and then what do you do?

[C]

Spent three years at St. Cloud State and finally quit, realizing I could make more money running my business than going to college and getting a degree. My goal was to make it big enough to raise a family and put my kids through a major college. And if I was able to accomplish that, then it was a success.

[A]

And did you do that?

[C]

My oldest is 24, and he graduated from the U of M two years ago. And my youngest turned 21 yesterday, and he just finished his third year, so he's got one more year.

[A]

Where'd you end up meeting your wife?

[C]

In an AOL chat room 30 years ago. There'd be 50 people that would chat pretty regularly.

[A]

And out of that cacophony, you two somehow find each other.

[C]

Destiny.

[A]

Do you really think it was.

[C]

I told her I was gonna marry her the first night I saw her.

[A]

Boy, I hear stories like that. That just always astounds me. I hear those from time to time. And I think you crazy kids, come on, get in a fight first before you figure all this stuff out. One good barn burner where someone's throwing an ashtray at the other. I mean, you gotta get past a few of those before you figure out if this is the right one. Nope, not for you.

[C]

So that convinced her to meet me in Hudson, Wisconsin. I was living by Forest Lake, and she was in Chippewa Falls. And then we went to the Mall of America for a midnight movie. Still have the movie stub tacked to the desk of my office.

[A]

You still have the movie stub from that first date. And what was the movie?

[C]

The Edge.

[A]

The one with the grizzly bear?

[C]

Yep.

[A]

I love that movie. The Anthony Hopkins character was wonderful. The idea that he had read all his life about how to survive in the wilderness, but had never actually been challenged. Did you tell her you were going to marry her right at the movie there?

[C]

No.

[A]

No. You might have scared her.

[C]

Mighta?

[A]

My brother said the damnedest thing one time. He said, well, got news for you. And I said, what's that? He. He said, I'm getting. I can't even say it without laughing. Even after all These years. He says, I'm getting married. And I said, well, hell, congratulations. That's wonderful. Who is she? And he said to me, I don't know yet. You don't know yet? What are you talking about? He said, I'm just telling you. I finally made the decision. I'm getting married. No, no, no, no, no. First you got to get the girl, then you marry her. And he said, no, first you make the decision. Are you going to get married? And I've decided I am. And I said, well, that's the oddest way of thinking about it I've ever encountered. Well, he never did find anybody. He's not married to this day. I think he went about it wrong. I'm no brilliant fella, but my feeling is always, first you find the gal, then you say to her, want to get married? Now, there is a way, apparently, where you say to yourself, hey, want to get married?

[C]

And.

[A]

And you answer, yes. Maybe you even go down the aisle and say, I do. There's no one else there but you do. It's just that she doesn't, because there's no she there. And maybe he even went on a honeymoon and wondered why he was in the bed alone. Do you recall where you were when you asked her to marry you?

[C]

The base of Split Rock Lighthouse.

[A]

Split Rock Lighthouse.

[C]

I told her, even though Lake Superior holds enough water to cover all of north and South America, it'll never hold the amount of love I have for

[A]

you, you old dog. Did she start crying?

[C]

No. But she's also not a crier. I mean, yeah, to just cry at a movie, stuff like that, that's not happening.

[A]

So that's fascinating to me that she doesn't cry at movies. I cry at commercials. Do you ever ask her how she's able to pull that off? Did you ever?

[C]

She's German.

[A]

I mean, well, I'm German.

[C]

Yeah, well, she must be more German.

[A]

Nobody's more German than me. I got it going both directions, 100%. I'm the first to marry outside the heritage, going back multiple generations. I don't think it's that. They say Hitler cried at the Champ when he watched the Champ with Ricky Schroeder. They say Hitler cried. I'd like to force your wife to watch the Champions.

[C]

She loves your podcast, too. I have her listening to your podcast. I'll. I'll get her to listen to the podcast and tell her that you said she has to watch it.

[A]

And at the end, when little Ricky Schroeder's trying to wake up Jon Voight, the boxer. But he can't wake him because Jon Voight's dead and he keeps trying to wake him up. You tell me if she just watches and has that stern German expression. No emotion whatsoever. You know what? Maybe I'd have the champ going on one television, and right next to it, Old Yeller. And then right next to that, I'd have Bambi. No. What did she do with her life?

[C]

She's a registered nurse. She did spend five years at the men's prison in Rush City, so that was a bit of a stressful time.

[A]

Five years at the men's prison. I can't imagine what it would have been like for a woman in a men's prison. Routinely having the fellows come in with fake ailments just so they could get close to her.

[C]

Yep, that's what it was a lot of times. A lot of groin issues.

[A]

Lot of groin issues. I would imagine it would get to a point where a guy comes in and says, yeah, I got a groin issue. Damn it. No, you don't. Okay, the jig's up. I don't. Back to the cell I go. I thought I'd try it.

[C]

That's what it'd be.

[A]

You know, if I wanted to see her, you know what I'd do? I'd say something completely different. I'd say, you know what I think I have? I think I have polio. My mom never got me vaccinated. Would you mind checking? That would get me in the door. Then I'd sit down, and then I'd say, I think the polio's in the groin. No, I wouldn't say that.

[C]

She also enjoyed talking to. She enjoyed talking to the murderers and the people that were mentally disturbed.

[A]

She'd sit around the dinner table and talk about the intriguing stories with the murderers Sometimes.

[C]

Yeah, she'd say, a lot of times, just looking at the person, you'd have no clue what they were actually charged with. And there were quite a few times she was completely shocked what they did by just a normal, like, straight lace looking guy. And he was in there because he murdered three people.

[A]

Do you ever ask her what she saw on you? I mean, you were so sure you were going to marry her right in the middle of that damn movie at the Mall of America. Did you ever ask her what she saw in you?

[C]

Yeah, I think she said she realized I was genuine and honest and a hard worker.

[A]

They used to say that in 1840. It's good to know people still talk that way. That's what they said. On the frontier in 1840. Ethel said Norman. Those very words. How long you been on the list?

[C]

8 months, give or take.

[A]

Good Lord almighty.

[C]

I do want to say I appreciate your ICE comments when you made them on your podcast months ago.

[A]

Well, that does my heart good to hear you say that. Thanks so much.

[C]

I've appreciated your show ever since KSTP days, radio days. I would drive around late at night listening to you and it was hilarious. Loved it.

[A]

Greatly appreciated and I've enjoyed visiting with you. I hope to talk to you again sometime, Jeremy. I've enjoyed chatting with you, Tommy.

[C]

I appreciate it. I feel like I have my own personal podcast today and it made my day.

[A]

That's good to hear. That's really great to hear. Thanks for saying that. You say hello to your wife for me. What's her name?

[C]

Marion.

[A]

Marion. There's a lovely name. You say hello to her for me.

[C]

I will do, Tommy. Thank you.

[A]

Yes. Bye Bye. Okay, I'm only going to do two more ads for this contest. I'm going to do one right now and on the next show and that's it. Because it's a May contest. May is Electrical Safety Awareness Month. So you have a very limited amount of time to do what you need to do to possibly win thousands of dollars worth of electrical work at your house. Contest ends when May ends. It's very simple and I don't understand why people wouldn't do this. Snap a picture of your breaker box. Open the door of your electrical panel, your breaker box in your house. Snap a picture of it. Upload [e-mail] that's it. There will be a drawing that's only happening on this show. What you win is a brand new breaker box electrical panel worth up to $7,000. It's very expensive to put in these breaker panels. This is the nerve center of your home's entire electrical system. And it's where problems happen and it's often where tragedy starts. Many a house fire has been caused by problems right there at that nerve center, that electrical nerve center. If you have an old breaker box, I'm offering you an opportunity to get a free one. Thousands of dollars of free work. Up to seven grand spent on your house. Free electrical work from Minneapolis St. Paul Plumbing, Heating, air and Electric. Just a few days left to get this done. So get the picture taken. Go right to MishkyPodcast.com breaker upload the picture. It goes to MSP, Minneapolis St. Paul Plumbing, Heating, Air and Electric. Don't waste your opportunity to possibly win Thousands of dollars in free electrical work. We are gathered here today to mourn the passing of something most of us took for granted. The Neighborhood Bank. You remember it. The place where the man behind the desk knew your father, knew what you did for a living, knew whether you were good for it when it came to that loan. Not because a computer in Delaware told him so, but because he knew. He just knew. Because that's what knowing someone means. The Neighborhood bank. It died quietly somewhere between the mergers and the acquisitions and the. Please listen carefully as our menu options have changed. Of course, here's the thing about eulogies. Sometimes they're premature. You see, the Neighborhood bank isn't completely gone. North American Banking Company exists with six twin city locations. A community bank with every single tool, all the fancy bragging rights the big national banks have. But with the one thing the national banks will never have. A soul. You want a home loan? You want a business loan? Decisions are made at North American Banking Company by people who live here, work here, understand your business, understand your neighborhood, understand that numbers on a page don't tell the whole story. The Neighborhood bank is not dead. It's called North American Banking Company and it's near you. Switch to North American Banking Company. Go back to the thing that should have never died. Member fdic. Equal Housing Lender. I've been wanting to talk about this fella for a while, but haven't really gotten to it. Not sure why. Perhaps because the story is disturbing. That usually doesn't stop me. That encourages me. Maybe there's something about this that's just a little too disturbing. Not sure. A surgeon who removed the wrong organ from a patient has been charged in his death. Dr. Tom Schinofsky tried to persuade his colleagues in the operating room that the liver he removed from a 70 year old patient was in fact a spleen. Colleagues in the operating room had grave concerns that Dr. Tom did not really have the skill level to safely perform this procedure. Dr. Tom removed the liver thinking it was a spleen. In addition to being on a different side of the abdomen, spleens and livers are anatomically quite distinct. They have different consistencies, different colors. After Dr. Tom removed the organ, the staff looked at the readily identifiable liver on the table and were just shocked when old Dr. Tom said to them, that's a spleen. One staff member said, I felt sick to my stomach. When I realized the doctor couldn't tell the difference, the doctor said, well, we got that spleen out, Doctor. That's not a spleen, that's a liver. Nope, nope. It's a spleen. Sir, with all due respect, that's the patient's liver. Hey, are you the doctor or am I the doctor? I think I'm the doctor. Okay. And that's a spleen. Sir, that doesn't look anything like a spleen. Well, what do you mean? Since it is a spleen, it must look exactly like a spleen. Sir, the liver is in the upper

[D]

right of the abdomen.

[A]

The spleen is in the upper left.

[D]

You took the liver?

[A]

I think I know basic anatomy. Okay. Sports fan? I think so. Mm. I used to practice on my Uncle Charlie when he would pass out at the bar, so I know what I'm doing. Okay. Sir, this patient has just died. I don't know how that's possible. All I removed was the gallbladder. Sir, you had said it was the spleen. I'm sorry, I meant. What was it? I meant tonsils. I tell you what, let's tell the family in the waiting room that when we cut into this person, we found stage nine cancer.

[D]

Sir, there is no such thing as stage nine.

[A]

Well, it was way beyond stage four, I'll tell you that. We'll call it stage seven and a half. We'll tell him there were already signs of rigor mortis setting in.

[D]

Sir, you cannot be serious. I am sick to my stomach.

[A]

You tell them they had stage seven and a half and that someone had already tried embalming them.

[D]

Sir, you have murdered this man.

[A]

Well, now, that's a strong accusation. How about we say I hastened the inevitable? We're all going to die. This was a shortcut and it saved this patient. God knows what in taxes. I hate paying taxes. Don't you?

[D]

Sir, I am vomiting right now.

[A]

I read a headline today that said, wildfire season is off to a historic start. Wildfire season is off to a historic start. Almost sounded celebratory. Hey, wildfire season. Off to a historic start. You kind of want to cheer at the end of that. I don't think they mean it that way. The wildfire season has been tremendous this spring. Across the United States, wildfire activity has hit historic levels. Since the beginning of the year, nearly 30,000 fires have ignited across the country. That's the most in over 20 years. More than 2 million acres have burned, which is twice the previous 10 year average and the highest loss in 14 years. You guys follow the wildfire season at all? Some people are into the Major League baseball season. Some people are into the gardening season. Some people are into the wildfire season. Hey, I hear you wildfire folk are off to a great start this year.

[D]

Yeah, just a tremendous start, Tom. We're feeling real good about our chances this year. Everybody's pretty excited.

[A]

Yeah. You guys destroyed a record number of homes in Georgia just recently. That's gotta feel good, huh?

[D]

It really does, Tom. The Flames are working together like a real team this year, and I sense a whole new attitude across the board. We think we can take things pretty far this year.

[A]

Yeah. Nebraska reported the largest wildfires in history this spring. You guys destroyed 6,000 acres.

[D]

We took it to him, Tom. We did. The boys were pretty fired up. Things are really starting to gel for us, and we think we're peaking right at the right time. All the fellows are pretty pumped. And of course, we have a great fan base.

[A]

Wait a minute. You have a fan base?

[D]

Well, we think we do. They keep quiet for the most part, but we get word through intermediaries that there are some folks out there pulling for us.

[A]

Really? That's weird. Out in la, we hear they've been evacuating thousands due to wildfires.

[D]

Yeah, Tom, that's one of our favorite places to play, actually. We really like it out there and always seem to bring our best game.

[A]

And in Florida, fires have burned tens of thousands of acres near Jacksonville and outside of the Miami metro area, sending smoke across areas that have really never seen the smoke before.

[D]

Well, we have some expansion teams getting started down that way. We're introducing people to the sport, and it's finding a fan base.

[A]

We believe you're back to that fan base thing. You really think you have fans?

[D]

Oh, well, we do. Hardcore. They're not gonna wear our team colors or anything like that. They mostly hang out in their basements or hang out on the dark web. A handful are in prison, of course, but we definitely have a growing base of admirers, people who want to learn more about our unique type of play. It's catching on for sure.

[A]

Are you a fan, Tom, when it comes to fires? Not of the big league stuff. When you guys are more at little league level or T ball level. I mean, I like sitting around a campfire and watching you maybe singing some campfire songs, that sort of thing?

[D]

Well, we're hoping for something bigger than that. We want to get crowds chanting. We want to be like British soccer. I mean, we want madness. You know what I'm saying? Can you imagine if we reach that level of fanaticism? For throngs standing around the prairie as it goes up in smoke, singing our team song, it's tough to get a Good team song written. All the best ideas have been taken. Fire by Jimi Hendrix. Light My Fire by the Doors. Burning down the House. Talking Heads, Great Balls of Fire. Jerry Lee Lewis. Ring of Fire by Johnny Cash. Fire and Rain, James Taylor. I'm on Fire. Bruce Springsteen. We didn't start the Fire. Billy Joel. I tell you, Tom, we thought a fun chant might be I got smoke in my eyes, can't see a damn thing. Golly, this game is interesting. Smoke in my eyes, can't see a damn thing. What in the hell is happening? Tough to be a fan when you're coughing up a lung. Well, that's it. This song is sung boomalaka, boomalaka, uk. And then the people would die right at the end of chanting that, they just burn up, scream into high heaven. Talk about a raucous crowd experience, huh, Tommy boy? Try and beat that with your average MLB game on a Sunday afternoon. Goofy little people singing Sweet Caroline. Boomalaka, boomalaka. Okay,

[A]

Speaking of going up in flames, I was talking to a buddy of mine recently who was one of the thousand stranded when Spirit Airlines hung it up this season. When Spirit Airlines shut down. It's such an odd thing to be in the middle of a flight across the country getting word that the entire airlines are shutting down. He had a layover and he was told, yeah, there's going to be a problem here because the airlines have shut down. What? Yeah, it's over for the airlines. Good run. But, yeah, they're done. Wait, you're canceling my flight? That's gonna mess me up big time. Well, we're not so much canceling the flight as just cancelling. Just canceling the entire airlines. Just all of it.

[C]

What?

[A]

Yeah. Yeah, we're canceling this flight and every other flight we've even considered today and for that matter, tomorrow and all days into the future. We're just shutting down the airline entirely permanently. This is. This is an outrage. Yeah, it is, sir. I know, and I'm going to take it a step further. We're reconsidering flight in general, just across the board as people, humanity, Just the whole idea of flying. There's a sense, suddenly, that this whole endeavor might have been just a tremendous mistake. We're just realizing that had a human being been meant to fly, they'd have been given wings, and we were not. We were never really supposed to be up there. It was a colossal miscalculation. That's what we're wanting to let you know today. What on earth were we thinking? Shoving people in tubes and sending them hurling through the clouds. Why not just nail them to the bottom of the ocean and tell them to have a fun afternoon? You know what I'm saying? We don't belong at the bottom of the ocean. We don't belong up in the air. So we're shutting down this airline and all the other ones, too. We're going to dismantle the entire airline industry. We're going to close the airports. We're going to turn them back into farm fields. We're doing what we like to call the grand correction. So, yeah, your flight's been canceled, but so has every flight, and so has the concept of flight for the whole wide world. We're going to reintroduce walking as a great way to get around. I don't know if you've walked anywhere recently, but walking should never have been retired. We can't help but notice that humans have those two legs dangling right there. And we're realizing that was always what should have been the plan.

[D]

Just get out there and start walking.

[A]

But I gotta get to Cincinnati.

[D]

Well, you better get started now, then.

[A]

Come on, sir.

[D]

We walked out of Africa hundreds of thousands of years ago.

[A]

We walked across the Bering land strait. We walked all over this earth to get to where we wanted to go. And it worked. The birds flew, the fish swam. We walked. Why we ever gave that up is beyond me. I guess we got cocky. That's my thinking. We got cocky. We wanted to own the world of the fish, own the world of the birds.

[C]

We.

[A]

We got greedy. I don't understand all of this. Come on, mister. I just really want to get to Cincinnati. There's no flight this afternoon at all, sir. You obviously haven't been listening. It's over, finished, done. Now put on this yak fur and start hoofin it. Just go toward the horizon there. You can live off dog meat on the way if you like.

[C]

Sa.