Transcript
Underdog Fantasy Announcer (0:00)
Football's biggest game is coming up, and you can get in on all the action with Underdog. And if you're not on Underdog yet, you're in luck because new customers score $75 in fantasy bonus entries. When you make your first $5 fantasy entry, playing underdog is easy. You just go to the app, make picks on if a player will go higher or lower on stats like touchdowns, rushing yards, receptions and more. You get them right, you can win yourself up to 5,000 times your cash. I think this week on Underdog, I'm going to look for Sam Darnle to go higher on yards for it, maybe even go higher on touchdown passes, too. What are you waiting for? Download the app today and use Promo code garage to score $75 in fantasy bonus entries. When you play your first $5 on fantasy, that's promo code garage underdog make.
Underdog Fantasy Legal Disclaimer (0:48)
Picks win money must be 18 plus, 19 plus in Alabama, Nebraska, 19 plus in Colorado for some games, 21 plus in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where Underdog Fantasy operates. 20 terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playandgetterms dfs HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concerned with your play? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit ncpgambling.org in New York, call the 24.7Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny 467-369.
Tommy Mischke (1:22)
Join me, John Randall, at the North American Banking Company Minnesota Golf Show, February 13th through the 15th. It's your chance to try out the newest clubs and equipment from the biggest names in golf. Improve your game with free lessons and clinics from PGA pros. And when you're done, relax at the 19th Hole Lounge with your favorite post round beverage.
Josh Arnold / MSP Plumbing Heating Air Announcer (1:41)
The $100,000 putt is presented by MSP Plumbing Heating Air. Committed to your comfort since 1918, the 2026 Minnesota Golf show is swinging into the Minneapolis Convention Center February 13th through 15th, and we want your business on the green. With thousands of passionate golfers roaming the this is your chance to get your brand in front of this quality demographic with a vendor booth or larger sponsorship. And this year's ambassador, NFL hall of Famer and Viking legend John Randall. So yeah, it's kind of a big deal. Want in? Don't wait for your invitation to land in the fairway. Call Bernie Lauer at 651-632-6646 or email blaurpi.com before the best spots are gone.
Tommy Mischke (Host) (2:25)
And topping the news today. Two murders and a robbery in less than 24 hours. The law enforcement sting operation went horribly wrong. One of the suspects is a white female in her early 20s. I was taking a look at all the headlines from around the world. I got up today and just looked at, well, well, the whole wide world. I looked at the headlines from all over and boy, there's a lot of rough stuff going on all over the globe. Country after country with struggle after struggle. People really having a hard time out there. A lot of the news was horribly unpleasant. It was a rough, rough stretch with my coffee today. Looking at it all, I just kept going, well, let's try this country, let's try that country. I mean, I was moving around the globe and headline after headline, one worse than the next until I got to this one, which turned my frown upside down. Ready for it. A good cashmere sweater can elevate any winter outfit that was buried in the mix. I am so glad I stumbled upon it, though, because there was a shift right there. I think it was right after reading some nasty stuff that was going on in France and just a brutal story out of Nigeria and then this one, God awful crime in Sydney, Australia. Anyway, somewhere in there, all of a sudden. Hold it. A good cashmere sweater can elevate any winter outfit. It was in the New York Times. Any winter outfit. Found myself thinking about ways I could brighten your day, lift you in some way. Are we able to look on the bright side? What's the diagnosis, sweetheart? What? Stage four, they're calling it. It's in the liver. Well, a good cashmere sweater can elevate any winter outfit you have. It worked, honey. It elevates almost every winter outfit I have. Even my janitorial coveralls. Why, it sure does, sweetheart. I lost my family in a house fire, but a friend gave me a beautiful cashmere sweater. And I'm not embarrassed to say I danced merrily for 20 minutes. I lost my family in a fire. But my friend, he gave to me a cashmere sweater and I danced merrily. I no longer have a family, so this might sound crude, but a brand new cashmere sweater sure can lighten up my mood. There's no tragedy in life that looking good can't fix. Life will throw you hard balls. You gotta know a few tricks when you're lost and despondent, filled with rage and fear. Put on a cashmere sweater and just look in the mirror. You will hardly notice the world's falling apart. Put on a cashmere sweater and make a brand new Start. We're going down the tube, folks. Oh, God, we surely are. So might as well go down looking like a superstar. Let the world go to hell. If you want to feel better, turn your back on it all and buy a cashmere sweater. Then right after that headline, it was back to China's Trade surplus climbs past 1 trillion. Battlefield picture Worsening for the Ukraine. Taiwan Vows to Defend Sovereignty After China's Military drills. I went right back to that cashmere sweater headline. When I was a little kid, there was a commercial, and it's still in my head, and I have no idea why, because I believe it was a commercial directed at women. I don't even remember what the ad was for, but it almost sounds like it was for something like a cashmere sweater. The ad opened up, we're talking the mid-70s, and this damn ad is still in my head. When you look your best, your world is suddenly a better place. You know that? It's true. That's still in my head after half a century. I think it was for women's clothing. I think what struck me about it was, well, just that philosophical notion that when you look your best, your world is suddenly, suddenly a better place. You dress a certain way and the world. The world gets better. And then they added that you know that it's true. Like, don't even try to deny it. Come on. The only point of reference I had was when I'd get a new pair of tennis shoes. I remember walking out of the shoe store with my mom and running across the parking lot in my new tennis. And hell, yeah, the world was looking better. It's funny, those things that make the world look better. The world as opposed to just your day or your own personal sense of yourself. When I was a kid, I remember learning how to spell the word. Time. Somebody taught me it, I think my dad or mom. And I realized that T I, M E spelled a word, and that if someone had asked me how to spell that word, I could have told him. And I don't mind saying that not only did the world look better, but I certainly was a more interesting person at that moment. I thought. And I did something. I did something for the rest of the evening. The rest of the evening. God, I must have been hurting for friends or hobbies. I just ran through the house spelling that word for about two and a half hours. We had the ability in our house to run in a circle around the whole house because what normally would have been a dead end. When you got to the bathroom, there was a second door. To that bathroom. Which would allow you to exit and get to the kitchen and then back. Dining room, living room, den, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, living room, den, bathroom, kitchen, dining room, living room, den, bathroom, kitchen. And I just kept circling, spelling the word time. Now I'm sure there were seven other kids do another bizarre. Other bizarre things. And frankly, I don't know why my parents weren't going mad. I'm sure other things that were going on included my oldest brother in the basement playing a full trap set, a full drum trap set as loud as he could. My mentally challenged sister chasing either my brother or sister around, wanting to scratch them and pull their hair. That was a daily experience. Another brother banging on one of the two acoustic pianos we had in the house. My younger brother sending GI Joe equipment down the chute into the basement. For no reason other than to give GI Joe and all his equipment to ride. Mom's trying to cook for 10. Dad's pouring himself a Tom Collins and getting the hell out of there. And no one is telling me to shut the hell up. Two hours of running around. Two hours of running around the house spelling time just because I can. Now, maybe mom could handle it that day. Cause dad had brought home a cashmere sweater. Here, honey, try this on. See if it doesn't make you want to pour a drink. And forget about the fact that we ever had kids. Remember when we were first married, honey? Remember how fun that was? We were so in love. We had nothing but time. Oh, boy. Remember how I said to you, I don't know for sure if I want to have kids? And you said, well, neither do I, but we're Catholic. And I said, oh, yeah, that's right. We're gonna have a boatload of kids, aren't we? Holy smokes. I don't got the money for that. You're not gonna be working, are you? Nope. All right. Well, I'm gonna pour another drink. When you look your best. Your world is suddenly a better place. You know that it's true. Then my sister put Carole King on the record player. And Carole King said, you gotta get up every morning with a smile on your face. And show the world all the love in your heart. Because then people are gonna treat you better. You're gonna find. Yes, you will. That you're as beautiful as you feel. But, Carol, even if you're as beautiful as you feel. You could still feel better with a cashmere sweater. Why don't you write that song? You can still feel better trying on a cashmere sweater. Have you ever stopped to think about what an unfortunate name that is for a piece of clothing, a sweater. When I was growing up, there was always this heavy set guy in class who was a sweater. He was always sweating. No matter what. He couldn't not sweat. You'd look over at him and he'd be perspiring. Winter, summer, it didn't matter. I never knew what was going on. There was just breathing for him, an effort. Always had beads of sweat. Why did they name that piece of clothing a sweater? Well, it says right here a sweater is called a sweater because they were originally intended to induce sweat. People wore those items so they could sweat and lose weight. The term originates in the 1880s Sweater from the verb to sweat, referring to knitted garments worn to induce sweating and reduce weight. Now in the uk, United Kingdom, they don't call it a sweater, they call it a jumper. Another unfortunate term. I think jumper. I think someone committing suicide. I think a guy on a high rise, on the ledge, we got a jumper. What's he wearing? Get that guy a cashmere sweater. When you look your best, your world is suddenly a better place. You know that it's true. Have you had some reckless, careless SOB ruin your day? Somebody who was a bit callous in their approach to living and it resulted in a personal injury, One that has angered you because you were doing nothing wrong. Your day was going swimmingly until this. Yay, who screwed up. And now you have medical bills before you think about getting even by playing ding dong ditch and then having a little paper bag on fire with doggy poop in it. That's how we used to get even with people when I was growing up. Anyhoo, before you go down that road, you go to Minnesota Personal Injury.com and you find out how you reach Brad Shaw and Bryant and you tell them about your case over the phone and they'll say to you, darn right you have a case there, Mr. Flackenpuss or Mrs. Sophenhopper. And we're gonna take that case and we're gonna get you the compensation to make you whole again, to balance the scales of justice. Because we had Bradshawn Bryant seek justice for the injured. And we get it. All right now this is going to be Greek or Swahili to some of you. But you folks in the pressure washing world, you people who have businesses that need and utilize industrial pressure washers, you'll understand this language. I want to know if you have a pressure washer in your shop that takes diesel fuel or that takes kerosene. You tired of filling that tank every day. A stationary pressure washer that heats the water with natural gas or with electricity from American Pressure is your solution. Call American Pressure. Find out all the ways a new stationary machine could benefit your business. And understand this American Pressure will always happily come out to your business and look at your whole setup and they'll make recommendations. It doesn't cost you anything. You should take advantage of the knowledge of the people at American Pressure. They can change things so dramatically for the better. At your work site, you won't know until you talk to them. Take the time to do it. You won't be sorry. American Pressure of Robbinsdale. Let's continue with the odd headlines, shall we? Ran into this one today. Ditch the flowers. Get her something practical. This Valentine's Day. Ditch the flowers. CNN suggests you ditch the flowers. Go with something practical. One of the things they think is practical. The crochet your own emotional support desk plant. Crochet your own emotional support desk plant. You know, we've moved in so many different areas with the emotional support stuff. During my WCCO stint, a woman called regularly who had emotional support rabbits. And of course, originally it was the emotional support dogs. Here it says you can crochet your own emotional support desk plant. Are we moving to where everything could offer emotional support? Isn't this right here my emotional support coffee? I think it is. And when I go to sleep at night, that's my emotional support pillow. My wife is my emotional support spouse. And I like my car a lot, so it's kind of my emotional support ride. Cashmere sweaters sound like emotional support creatures. They'll elevate any winter outfit. When you look your best, your world is suddenly a better place. Yeah, ditch the flowers. Get her one of those. Do it yourself. Crochet your own emotional support desk plant. Here's another gift they recommend. It's a special kind of phone charger. Do you know what Valentine's Day is? I mean, participate in it or not, I don't care. But once you do participate, if you feel a gift is in order. Where's the wall charger coming from? Valentine's Day is a day where what's being celebrated is love. One could argue there shouldn't be any gifts. You could argue that other than the gift of love. But maybe there are gifts that are symbolic of love. And maybe flowers have been that for a long time. And I get that. But maybe wall chargers are now or desktop emotional support plants. I'm still thinking flowers should be there. And I'll tell you why it's not just the old fashioned thing either. Flowers should never get old. It should never become a situation where, ah, just flowers. Flowers are extraordinary. I mean, where. Where the hell would we be on this planet without flowers? Again, participate in the whole Valentine's thing or don't. It's not a crime either way. But if you participate, if you choose to make Valentine's Day something different from other days, if you buy into a day celebrating love, please dispense with a notion that one ought to buy a wall charger as a means of showing love. I know there are different. What do they call them? Love languages. But let's face it, some languages of love come across as well. Pig Latin or worse. Gobbledygook. Honey, I got your wall charger. It's a unique one. I saw it on Amazon. Thought I'd go practical instead of. Instead of getting you the flowers. It's my love language, honey. Gobbledygook. Gobbledygook. Honey, I changed the roll of toilet paper in the bathroom and I made it so it unwinds the way you like it from underneath instead of over the top, the way I prefer it. Happy Valentine's Day. That's my love language. Gobbledygook. Gobbledygook. I'm not sure what could be a more depressing headline and one more indicative of our times than ditch the roses, trash the roses, dump the roses, chuck the roses, go with practical gifts, you can do that six weeks from now on a Tuesday when you're at the hardware store. This is Valentine's Day Again. Participate or not, it's up to you. But if you participate, don't look at Fleet Farm or Menards with little hearts in your eyes, saying, this will show her I'm passionately in love with her. Here's another gift they recommend. This is a particular kind of kitchen scissors that's quite impressive. Apparently they have a plastic handle. Based on what I can see here, they'll cut open a bag of frozen peas if she wants to do that. Kind of neat. So on Valentine's Day, you could get her this special pair of kitchen scissors. I would expect to hear within 30, 40 seconds, Paul, I want a divorce. I wonder how many gifts on Valentine's Day have been followed with, paul, I want a divorce. Flowers are alive, like you and I are alive. Okay? They're impossibly graceful and elegant in their beauty and their majesty and their presentation. They decorate the earth with color, with design, with these ineffable qualities that few are really able to articulate. How can you really talk about flowers in a way that really gets at what flowers are, what they bring to this world? Honey, I was gonna get your flowers, and then I looked at them and I said, these things don't do squat. I'm getting a wall charger. Paul, I want a divorce. If you do give roses at Valentine's Day, I think you should hand them to her with some information. I think you should say, in case she doesn't know, darling. It is said that roses first grew from the tears of Aphrodite, tears that were mixing with the blood of her dying lover. That's where we get roses, sweetheart. They were born out of tears. They grew out of the tears of deep love. Whereas this wall charger was made in a Chinese sweatshop. The rose, sweetheart, is one of the oldest flowers on Earth. It is 35 million years old. At least 35 million years ago, you could have found a rose growing on this planet. It would have looked just like this. And then you say to your girl, you ever look at the letters in the name Rose? Take the E at the end of the word and place it at the front, and you have the name of the Greek God of love, Eros, son of Aphrodite. In a world filled with chaos and uncertainty, flowers offer a timeless reminder of life's beauty, a reminder of life's resilience and its wonder. Forget the cashmere sweater. Flowers have their remarkable ability to uplift our spirits, to soothe our souls, to remind us of the beauty that's still around us in all this chaos and madness. Flowers are ambassadors of the natural world, nature's masterpiece. Each one a work of art, crafted with precision, with care. Flowers remind us to stay present in the moment. And as we become aware of the moment and the moment alone, we find the doorway. A sense of peace and joy and fulfillment. In a world of hustle and bustle. Flowers offer a little respite, calmness, inviting us to pause, to appreciate, to reconnect with beauty. Why would you get a wall charger? How was that pair of kitchen scissors gonna compete with flowers? Emotional support plant. Can't the flowers be the emotional support plant? I also read today that Valentine's Day is going to test Victoria's Secret's new strategy. Victoria's Secret apparently dropped the ball last Valentine's Day in their marketing, in their products. Sales were way down. People must have been buying wall chargers. Anyway, this year, Victoria's Secret's trying something new. I believe it's Carhartt lingerie. Available at Fleet Farm for The gal who likes to look good in bed but still wants to get up early and clean the garage. Carhartt lingerie from Victoria's Secret. Available at Fleet. Do you really have such a handle on your money? Such a handle on all things associated with retirement savings, such a handle on your IRA and 401k that you need no free advice at all? No insight? None. I don't believe you. You're not as smart as you think, camper. Danny and I've been offering you a free consultation with Josh Arnold over the phone. 48 minutes. One heck of a lot of minutes to about your financial picture as you near retirement in the not too distant future. By gum and by golly, don't be cocky. Call Josh for free. 48 minutes on the phone to talk to him about your situation. Afterward, you hang up and you never call him again if you don't want to. If he didn't impress you, he didn't impress you. If he can't do anything for you, he can't do anything for you. But what if he can? You could be finding out for nothing. 952-925-5608.