MISCHKE: Long Rides, Lives, & Rivers

Summary

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Garage Logic: MISCHKE – Long Rides, Lives, & Rivers

Date: January 8, 2026
Host: Tommy Mischke (Gamut Podcast Network, Garage Logic)
Theme:
This episode blends heartfelt reflection, nostalgic storytelling, interviews, and listener correspondence to explore lives well-lived, generational change, Midwestern culture, and the profound stories behind everyday people—especially those connected to Minnesota’s rich landscape and rivers.

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Episode Overview

In this characteristically meandering and deeply personal episode, Tommy Mischke opens with a reflection on the passing of Minnesota business icon Dick Enrico, lamenting how modern obituaries and remembrances reduce a full human life to slogans and headlines. Through storytelling and candid conversations, the episode explores legacy, memory, dangerous childhoods, American small towns, the nature of work and adventure, and life on the Mississippi River—both as a metaphor and through real, lived experiences. Mischke’s trademark wit, philosophical musings, and nostalgia are prevalent throughout, punctuated by calls with listeners and the sharing of a motel adventure sent in by a fan.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Remembering Dick Enrico: Beyond the Slogan

[00:00–10:38]

• Mischke expresses frustration over how obituaries flatten a full, complex life into a commercial catchphrase:
  • “Really? That’s how we’re going to sum up the life of Dick Enrico? ...We’re playing his commercial slogan and saying that’s what Dick did with this life of his. That’s what he gave to us. That was Dick’s contribution, Second Wind exercise equipment.” (A, 02:25)
• He paints a vivid picture of Enrico’s real life—growing up on the Mesabi Iron Range, adolescence, close calls, romance, and family—which are never captured in the news coverage.
• Mischke’s musing expands into a meditation on celebrity and the danger of being defined by one-dimensional narratives:
  • “Never get famous. They’ll talk about you in one dimension. You’ll be labeled for that thing, that one thing you’re known for that made you famous. That thing. That’s who you’ll be, that thing.” (A, 02:25)
• This segment is a gentle call to consider the fullness of human lives, beyond what the news or society values.

2. True Crime & New Year’s Parties: A Darker Turn

[11:24–22:30]

• Mischke details a recent story of a fatal shooting at a New Year’s Eve party in rural Minnesota:
  • Describes “Old Myron,” the shooter, and how recklessness with a gun led to a friend’s death.
  • Reflects on the types of men one finds at such parties—restless, attention-seeking, sometimes dangerous.
  • “There’s always one guy like this, isn’t there?... He’s like a 10 year old with his first walkie talkie. Can’t help himself, has a holster and everything.” (A, 12:24)
• Segues into personal nostalgia: Mischke’s own childhood New Year’s ritual of calling his mother at midnight—an intense need to connect at a symbolic moment, and his mother’s patient support.
  • “I really wanted to wish her a happy New Year at midnight. On the dot. On the dot.... And my mother never said to me, Tommy, I can’t go to the phone at midnight. That’s when adults hug and kiss and wish each other a Happy New Year. How about five after? Five after would have crushed me. So she was quite the good sport.” (A, 19:55)
• Reflects on how parties—and dangers—change with age, and the growing reluctance to celebrate New Year’s as the years stack up.
• Mischke dreams of eavesdropping on adult parties from his childhood, yearning for a glimpse of their joys and conversations.

3. Listener Call-Ins: Dangerous Childhoods & Advice on Marriage

[22:30–32:18]

• Listener JC calls in from Arizona.
  • Talks turn to growing up in Minnesota in the 60s, hitching rides on car bumpers during snowy winters, reflecting on how childhood danger was once commonplace and oddly survivable.
  • “Everybody talks about how dangerous it is... But here’s the thing. No one even got hurt of my buddies, let alone got killed. And if someone would have gotten hurt, that would have been fine. You’re supposed to get hurt playing when you’re growing up.” (A, 25:06)
• Mischke provides humorous old-marriage advice:
  • “When she comes back and it doesn’t look that great... you tell her, that looks wonderful. You ought to wear it that way all the time. Then you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say, you just lied to the love of your life.” (A, 23:29)
• The conversation features other comic musings about radio, communication for the paralyzed (“from the eyelids down”), and nostalgia for radio time slots coinciding with family dinners.

4. Mississippi River Life: An Interview with Jack Olson

[32:18–53:13]

• Mischke reconnects with Jack Olson, a commercial fisherman and lifelong resident on the Mississippi River.
  • Olson discusses his family history—descendants from 1650, always living on the river’s edge.
  • Explains the “calling” of being a fisherman and the independence it brings:
    • “Fishing is a call, lady... I went fishing because I don’t want to go to work.” (B, 41:29)
  • The changing nature of his business, now almost entirely dependent on immigrants who buy fish Americans no longer want.
    • “Immigration works for me. What’s your freaking problem?” (B, 40:56)
  • Describes the unique character of the Mississippi, its north-south flow, cultural and climatic changes along the river’s route, and the difference in perspective between people in Minnesota and those further south down the river.
  • Shares intensely personal stories about friends lost to the river, memories of childhood and generational change, and wry commentary on education’s value to a fisherman.

5. Listener Story: Adventures on the Road & Motels

[After 53:13]

• Mischke reads a letter from Mary of White Bear Lake: a whimsical story about her youth, love for a “bad boy,” and a wild cross-country trip in a homemade motorcycle-VW contraption.
  • The journey includes getting stopped by police, staying in a seedy but heavenly motel, finally reuniting with her boyfriend, and the ultimate symbolic act—pushing the bike into a lake to forget it all.
  • “I’ll tell you, Mishke, when I think back on that experience, my favorite memory is the one night I spent alone in a motel room with a warm shower, a fresh towel, and a bed with a soft pillow.” (Listener Mary, approx. 54:40)
• Mischke thanks Mary for her story and reiterates his love for listener tales.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Never get famous. They’ll talk about you in one dimension. You’ll be labeled for that thing, that one thing you’re known for that made you famous.”
— Tommy Mischke, [02:25]

“There’s always one guy like this, isn’t there? ...He’s like a 10 year old with his first walkie talkie.”
— Mischke, on reckless party hosts, [12:24]

“You’re supposed to get hurt playing when you’re growing up. That wouldn’t have been a big deal. Killed would have been the only bad thing.”
— Mischke, on 1960s childhood dangers, [25:06]

“Fishing is a call, lady... I went fishing because I don’t want to go to work.” — Jack Olson, on life and work, [41:29]

“Immigration works for me. What’s your freaking problem?” — Jack Olson, on the changing market for fish, [40:56]

"My hope would be that if the chute didn’t open for her, she’d only end up paralyzed from the eyelids down. There’s another guy I know who has that. He talks only by wrinkling his forehead.” — Mischke, dark humor about parachuting with his wife, [27:30]

“I’ll tell you, Mishke, when I think back on that experience, my favorite memory is the one night I spent alone in a motel room with a warm shower, a fresh towel, and a bed with a soft pillow.”
— Listener Mary, [54:40]

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Dick Enrico remembrance & reflection on legacies: [00:00–10:38]
• New Year’s Eve party story and childhood rituals: [11:24–22:30]
• Call-in with JC: Childhood danger & marriage advice: [22:30–32:18]
• Discussion with fisherman Jack Olson: [32:18–53:13]
• Mary’s motel adventure (listener letter): [~53:13–end]

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Tone & Style

Mischke’s distinct blend of melancholy, humor, nostalgia, and philosophical musing defines the episode. The tone veers from sentimental (mourning the flattening of lived experience) to comic (on paralyzed comedians and marriage truth), to profound (on rivers and life’s callings), always maintaining a conversational, personal warmth—a signature of Garage Logic.

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Conclusion

This episode is a testament to the "Garage Logic" ethos: reverence for the everyday, for memory, for small towns and rugged characters, and for the wild, improbable stories that make up a life—whether it’s bumper skitching in the 60s, old men on the Mississippi, or a young woman alone and blissful in a seedy motel. For listeners, it's a tapestry of voices and experiences, stitched together with Mischke’s wry wisdom and the listener’s own stories.

Transcript

[A]

Come on over. Let's have some fun, Fun, fun. This is. Sam. We need to say goodbye to someone who has died. A fellow human has passed on and we. We need to say farewell. Goodbye. Goodbye. See ya. Goodbye. Goodbye. We've lost another in the family of man. Dick Enrico passed recently. I don't know if you people are familiar with Dick Enrico. I've been disturbed by the reports of his death. Not how he died or that he died, but what they say about him when they let us know Dick Enrico is no longer with us. I've come across many news stories. Television, radio, online, newspapers. They all seem to say the same thing. They all sound the same. They all go a little something like this. Tonight we're remembering a Minnesota business icon and TV pitch man. Why buy new when slightly used will do.

[B]

Except when the deals are this good.

[C]

If you're old enough, you'll recognize Dick Enrico.

[A]

The entrepreneur founded several businesses including Second Wind Exercise Equipment in the early 90s. He is perhaps best known for his memorable TV commercials and famous slogan why.

[B]

Buy new and slightly used will do.

[A]

Enrico passed away last week. He was 85 years old. Really? That's how we're going to sum up the life of Dick Enrico. That's how we're going to talk about his run on this planet. We're playing his commercial slogan and saying that's what Dick did with this life of his. That's what he gave to us. That was Dick's contribution, Second Wind exercise equipment. Let me tell you something, folks. Never get famous. They'll talk about you in one dimension. You'll be labeled for that thing, that one thing you're known for that made you famous. That thing. That's who you'll be, that thing. And Dick. Dick is why buy new when slightly used will do. Dick arrived in this world in the winter of 1940 in Chisholm, Minnesota. He had a childhood. No one's mentioned that. A complete childhood. An American childhood up on the Mesabi Iron Range of northern Minnesota. That's a world onto itself there. A childhood on the Mesabi Iron Range. That right there by itself is more powerful. Then why buy new when slightly used will do? I bet there were a lot of stories from up there on the Mesabi Range, right, Dick? Lots and lots of stories. Stories about life. Those stories were not passed along when they mentioned you died growing up in the 40s and the 50s on the iron Range. Those were some years to grow up in America. You grew up seven miles north of Bob Dylan and you were only a year apart. In age. So you're growing up right in his neighborhood with him. What do we know about life on the range in the 40s and 50s? In an American small town? There's a world to talk about right there. A life right there. Childhood, adolescence. In small town America during the war and the post war years. During the 50s, the weird, wild, wonderful 50s. Not one part of that was passed along. Dick, why buy new and slightly used will do. That's you, Dick. That's your life. What about those wondrous summers up there? Released from school, Playing on the beaches of Longyear Lake. Floatin along the Sturgeon river up there. Looking up at the sunshine and the blue sky. Feeling free. What about all that life? Can that be found anywhere in the phrase why buy new when slightly used will do? Remember the autumn nights, Dick? Hanging out by the football stadium with the fellas. Looking at Mary, wondering if she could ever be your gal. And she couldn't, of course. But it was fun to think about her. And you would think about her, Dick. At night in bed one time she looked at you and smiled in class. And you about died and went to heaven. Something like that happened, right, Dick? Cause you lived a life. I wasn't there, so I don't know. But you lived a life, Dick. You almost got killed that one time with your pals. When you rode your bikes right in front of that truck near the general store on Maple Street. You laughed about it later, but it was scary when it was happening. You always remembered that look on the truck driver's face. Sheer terror. You would have been the first person he ever hit with his truck. But see, that's what happens when boys are grown up wild and free. You weren't the only close call he ever had. But you were all he could think about that day. Scared the hell out of him. How close he came to killing you. Close calls are wonderful things in life. They're like these second chances you get. You get to live on borrowed time. You suddenly feel more alive for a while because you shouldn't be here. It was marvelous growing up in northern Minnesota in the 40s and 50s. The cold was alive back then in the wintertime. Skating, playing pickup games of hockey with the guys. Going home to hot chocolate. Putting your mittens on the radiator. And what about when you grew up, Dick? Did you find a girl? Of course you did, Dick. You met Jeanette, you fell in love, you got married and you had four boys. Tony, Steve, Dean and Rick. I looked it up. You and Jeanette had Tony, Steve, Dean, And Rick, what was life like raising those boys, Dick? You guys ever wrestled in the living room together? Did you ever go fishing together? They're letting the world know you died, Dick, and they're saying your legacy is why buy new when slightly used will do 85 years on this planet, Dick, and that's all they got. A childhood, teen romance, adult marriage, a family. Living through the 40s, 50s, 60s, 70s in America. One wild ride right there. A whole hell of a lot happened in the 40s, 50s, 60s and 70s in America. There's a chunk of time where all sorts of wild things occurred and you were there in the midst of it. You saw it, Dick. You watched it. And you got to grow old. You got to become an old man. Looking at sunsets and thinking about what the heck the meaning of it all was. All of it. You got to look back on a life, a full life. 85 years. They didn't mention any of that, Dick. You looked back from that hospice facility in Brooklyn park where you died. You looked back at life alone. At night when you were in your bed, you thought about what it was going to be like when you died, what was going to happen to you and anything. They said you were the why by new and slightly used will do guy, Dick. But you, you were a human being. Goodbye. You can see them in the lounge, by the fireplace in that formal living room. You can see him in the spa, in the whirlpool. They're gathered in the activities center, the casual seating there by the ice cream parlor. You can see them in the salon, in the barbershop, watching a movie, in the cinema. Who are they? The loved ones of people who had to place family members in a memory care center. But what a memory care center. The Wellshire of Medina and Bloomington. Surrounding these amenities is a staff second to no staff anywhere in in the state of Minnesota in memory care. The most sophisticated, caring, loving, understanding, medically trained staff you will find at a memory care center. It's the future of memory care. And it's here now, at the Wellshire of Bloomington and Medina.

[C]

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[A]

18 + 19 + in Alabama, Nebraska 19 + in Colorado for some games, 21 + in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply. See assets.underdogfantasy.com web playandgetterms dfs HTML for details. Offer not valid in Maryland, Michigan, New Jersey, Ohio and Pennsylvania. Concern with your play, call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit ncpgambling.org in New York, call the 24.7Hope Line at 1-877-8-HOPENY or text hopeny 467-369. Forty years. That's 480 months. 2,080 weeks. 14,600 days. Josh Arnold has been sitting in that chair for that long, watching the numbers dance, watching the market scream, watching the world panic and watching it settle down. He's seen sure fail and the long shots fly. That's why I want you to call him for free and visit with him on the phone for 48 minutes. You're a person with a calendar and a dream. A dream that sometimes keeps you up till 2am Plans for retirement that you hope work out. And Josh Arnold can help you make sure they work out. The best time to start planning for your retirement yesterday. Second best time right now 952-925-5608 investment services offered by Josh Arnold Investment Consultant, LLC, a security and investment advisor. Past performance is no guarantee of future results. All investments involve risk. Tommy Mischke is a paid endorser. Speaking of Northern Minnesota, a northwestern Minnesota man accused of shooting and killing a partygoer at a New Year's celebration that he was hosting made his first appearance in court. Old Myron was formally charged with third degree murder related to the death of Jordan. Myron shot and killed Jordan. Ten people were at this party, New Year's Eve party. Old Myron was throwing the party, witnesses told investigators. Everyone was getting along, having a good time throughout the evening. It was great. During the party, witnesses said Old Myron carried around a handgun in a holster, at times taking it out and playing with it, pointing it at other people in the house. Before that whole fatal shooting took place. One witness said he saw Myron pointing the gun at one person's face, only to have that person push the gun away. And Myron moved on to another guy and he asked that other guy if they trusted him, to which that person said, hell no, I don't trust you. Myron laughed. And then Myron did something a little crazy. He put a round in the chamber. Witnesses said they then saw Myron walk up to this fellow named Jordan, put the gun under his chin, and again he asked that silly question, do you trust me? And the next thing the witness recalls is the gun went off. The witness said he turned around to see the defendant holding the gun and saying, oh crap, call 91 1. That's what Myron said after he, well, I assume accidentally shot this fella. Oh crap, call 91 1. You folks ever go to parties like this? There's always one guy like this, isn't there? If it's a New Year's party, usually one guy plays the role of doing something just a little off, getting noticed, all under the guise of, hey, it's party night, let's get weird. I think there's often a guy like that. In this case, it was the host. Myron. When I walk into a party these days and I see a guy like Myron, I usually head out the back door, walk around to the front and get in my car and drive away. I'll say to myself, oh, there's the guy who just got his first gun. He's like a 10 year old with his first walkie talkie. Can't help himself, has a holster and everything. He's got to bring it out, he's got to show folks because it's really the only thing he has is this gun. He doesn't have a girlfriend, but that's to be expected. You got to make a choice often in these situations. Be the guy who brings the loaded gun to parties along with your holster or be the guy who impresses a gal. It's tough to be both. I think Myron had a girlfriend at one point maybe. But before dropping her off one night after a movie, he made the mistake of doing the whole do you trust me? Thing. And it turns out she didn't at all after that. So Myron goes up to a guy, says, do you trust me? Holds the gun to his chin and the gun goes off. And the partygoers look at Myron and Myron's saying, no crap, call 911. Wonder how many times that's uttered after an accident. Oh crap, call 911. What is it? Ah, shot Jordan. What? What were you saying? To him right before then. I was asking if he trusted me. Did he? Well, he shouldn't have. Well, Myron, you're going away to prison. Oh, crap. So many things that have happened to Myron in life have resulted in him just kind of pausing and saying, oh, crap. I read the story about Myron and Jordan up in Wolverton, Minnesota. And the story right under that, the headline right under that read, St. Paul man who Poured Boiling Water Over Girlfriend's Head Sentenced to Workhouse. Was that another New Year's Eve party? No wonder I've been staying in the last decade or so on New Year's Eve. And here I thought it was because I couldn't stay awake until midnight. Nope, nope. It's the guns and the boiling water and the weirdness at New Year's Eve parties now. Truth is, New Year's Eve doesn't mean anything to me anymore. It's just another night like any other night. I have a hard time getting excited about a new year. Once you've seen so many go by, it's hard to really get fired up. When I was a kid, it was a big deal because I hadn't seen many of them. It was huge to see a new year, especially 1970. That was the first time I remember a new decade appearing. And to me it was as big as moving from 1999 to 2000. It was gigantic for a little kid to move from 69 to 70. And I used to do this thing when I was a little kid. I've never heard of anybody else doing this. I'm not entirely sure what to make of it, but my mother and father would go to a party on New Year's Eve with the same couples. The same couples would get together every year. And I knew that I was going to stay up for the New Year to arrive. But I felt close to my mother when I was a little kid, and I felt badly that it was going to arrive and I wasn't going to be able to wish her a happy New Year. And so I would say to her, I'm going to call you mom at the party and wish you a Happy New year. I'm about 8 years old for the 1970 arrival, and I did it every year from about, I think, when I was 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 10. Probably by 11, I was moving on. But for several years I did it. And here was the thing, though, and this must have been unfortunate for my mother, I really wanted to wish her a happy New Year at midnight. On the dot. On the dot. So I would make the call at about 40 seconds to. And someone would answer at this party. And I'd say, yeah, could I speak to Jeanette Mischke? And I'd hear laughter in the background. And my mother would come to the phone and I'd wish her a happy New Year right at midnight on the dot. And I'd get real upset if she got to the phone at seven seconds, eight seconds, nine seconds after. I wanted to be right there at midnight with the New Year, saying, happy New Year, Mom. When I got older, I thought about that, and I thought, she's with all her friends and they're getting ready to toast and hug and kiss at midnight. And I'm demanding her right at midnight, telling the host, yeah, you gotta get her right now. And my mother never said to me, tommy, I can't go to the phone at midnight. That's when adults hug and kiss and wish each other a Happy New Year. How about five after? Five after would have crushed me. So she was quite the good sport. I don't remember her ever saying anything other than occasionally being a little late to the phone. I'd be kind of down and be 20 seconds after or something. She probably got in a kiss with the old man and then went to the phone to talk to me. But that was an important part of my New Year. Every year, I'd sometimes listen to see if I could hear any of my mom's buddies walking around going, you trust me? Never did. And they never came home with anyone. Injured, shot, burned. Sometimes I think if I could go back in time, the thing I'd enjoy more than almost anything would be going to one of those New Year's Eve parties in the late 60s with my parents and all their friends eavesdropping on them, hearing what they talked about, what a bunch of drunk people in their 40s talked about in the 1960s, having a good time away from all their kids. They all had way too many kids. This must have been an extraordinary break to just get away and hang out. They'd stay overnight at whosever house they were at. We'd have some babysitter watching us, a babysitter who never understood why I had to make this call at midnight, why it was so important. Well, I think it's time to go to the listener list, that big old list there. All those folks who have contacted me and said, yeah, you can call me sometime if you want to see if I find them around, see if they answer.

[D]

Tom.

[A]

JC hey, how goes the battle?

[D]

Pretty good, pretty good. You know, it's so funny, Tom. I just was. I'm just reading the book Rope.

[A]

Rope. I think I interviewed that author.

[D]

You did? And I was going to tell you. Your book interviews have been amazing. The other book I picked up at the library was the one on the real difference between Gen X Millennials, Boomers by Jean Twenge.

[A]

That woman has done more work on that subject than anyone in the country. So whenever that topic comes up, I always refer people to her work because there are those who just kind of comment on that subject. But in her case, she's outdone anybody in the research department, and I found all of that quite fascinating. I. I liked that Rope book as well.

[D]

Yeah, I've been, you know, enjoying. Enjoying your podcast and stuff down in Arizona. Things are good. Wife is just out getting her hair cut now.

[A]

Little bit of insight, little bit of advice. When she comes back and it doesn't look that great, and I'm thinking it might not, you tell her, that looks wonderful. You ought to wear it that way all the time. Then you gotta look yourself in the mirror and say, you just lied to the love of your life. You lied to her. Say you don't like it. You could say to her, could you leave the room and come back in in a black lace teddy and ask me again? The hair's gonna look better and you're gonna feel better about telling her your thoughts. These are just things I learned in a book that I wrote. It wasn't a big seller because no one would publish it, but it's all about talking to your gal. The actual title of the book was Talkin to Your Gal by T.D. mishke. Just had all sorts of insights for people out there. And I had the neighbor kid read it. Paperboy. And he liked it.

[D]

I'm still reading your book, the Winter Song.

[A]

Do you have a favorite chapter, JC.

[D]

When you commented about Hitchin rides on the bumpers of cars.

[A]

Oh, yeah.

[D]

From 63 to 68, I went to St. Mark's grade school. We'd walk to school and, you know, bye, mom and dad, you know, and I was the oldest and I had Mike and Jim Tom with me. So we'd, unbeknownst to the drivers, we'd grab on the bumper and go along the ways and. But when you commented about that bumper rides and stuff like that, that brought back some memories.

[A]

Everybody talks about how dangerous it is, and I'm sure it is dangerous to have a car pull up to a stop sign and have five boys grab onto the quarter panels or the Back bumpers. And then the car takes off doing 25 miles an hour down the road and we're all sliding along, getting a ride to the five and dime. People will say, that's dangerous. And again, I'm not telling anybody to do it. And I don't see a lot of it anymore. It was sure common in the 60s and 70s. But here's the thing. No one even got hurt of my buddies, let alone got killed. And if someone would have gotten hurt, that would have been fine. You're supposed to get hurt playing when you're growing up. That wouldn't have been a big deal. Killed would have been the only bad thing. Or paralyzed from the nose down. You don't hear about that a lot. But some people are paralyzed from the nose down, not even from the neck down. And that gets me, especially with the gal. I have a whole chapter on that for guys if they run into that situation and have to square things with the gal. But here's the thing. When no one dies, nobody, it's hard to get kids to see the danger. I mean, the parents would say, that's dangerous. And we'd think, yeah, it must be dangerous. It has to be dangerous. But is it dangerous when nobody in all our years of doing it got hurt ever? And you know why they didn't get hurt? You know why? Because when they fell off, they just slid. They slid like a water skier falling. You're not on the hard pavement. You're not grinding your face against the blacktop of a summer street.

[D]

We'd go sliding over a town and country club golf course in the wintertime. There was more hurt, I think, that came out of that than hitching rides to school.

[A]

I jumped out of an airplane one time I jumped out of an airplane. My wife was worried about me jumping out of the airplane. She made me, the day before, go to a lawyer's office and get my will all straightened out. And then she said, you know, if you're jumping, I'm jumping. If you're dying, I'm dying. And I said, it doesn't work that way. See, if my chute doesn't open, there's really no connection at all to your chute, right?

[D]

That's true. You got your own chute.

[A]

And imagine how I'd feel, honey, if my chute opened and yours didn't. In a way, it'd be funny. Not a ha ha funny, but if she hadn't gone, we both would have been alive. You know, there's a certain point where that's just a Belly laugh. And my hope would be that if the chute didn't open for her, she'd only end up paralyzed from the eyelids down. There's another guy I know who has that. He talks only by wrinkling his forehead.

[D]

Okay, yeah, yeah. The hard communication.

[A]

Well, you got to learn the language. It's like American Sign Language. You just got to learn it. Once you learn it, it's fun. He's a stand up comedian, interestingly enough.

[D]

Well, I'm trying to think what else has been going on. I haven't listened to your podcast. Maybe I got about three of them to listen to.

[A]

But you know the problem with the podcast? There's too damn many of them. There's too damn many of them.

[D]

Oh, yeah, yeah, that's true.

[A]

I used to do a show every single night. How the hell could anybody listen to that? Every night I did a show night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night after after night after night after night after night after night after night after night. Night after night after night after night after night after night after night after night. God.

[D]

The neat thing about your show that I always remember though, it was on over dinner time, right? Six o', clock, plus or minus. It was a time when I was always busy, like, you know, cleaning up in the kitchen and we're finishing up with dinner and it was just a convenient time to listen to the radio and still do some tasks, you know.

[A]

That was a time slot I had. That was a 5:30 to 7:30 time slot I had. I had eight time slots. Just a KSTP Al over the years, but that was one of them. That was one of them. When I got fired at the end, I was doing noon to two and I'll never forget the feeling of walking out the door at 2. There'd be this winter light, this beautiful winter light, and I'd stop off at a little deli and get something to eat. I usually hadn't eaten up until then. And I'd sit outside in my car in that winter afternoon light and my day was done. And I'd relax, think about, oh, I don't know whether or not it's possible to be paralyzed from the hairline down. Right where male pattern baldness starts.

[D]

What deli did you go to?

[A]

I'd head over to a little deli in my neighborhood run by a fellow from Saudi Arabia and he had the greatest Middle Eastern food there. And I'd order something and I'd say, To him, tell me a story about Saudi Arabia and holy smokes. He'd regale me with stories of Arabian nights, wild stories from long ago involving princesses and magic carpets. On the way to school, he told me in Saudi Arabia they'd jump on the back of a magic carpet.

[D]

Sure, instead of walking, why not?

[A]

As it was going by and the guy on the magic carpet never even.

[D]

Knew he was looking forward to.

[A]

I got a carpet the other day at a carpet store on Lake street and I brought it home. And this particular carpet, it had a Briggs and Stratton engine on it. I said to my wife, guess how I'm getting around from now on? And she said, that's cultural appropriation. Well, all the best. All the folks in Arizona from Minnesota, wonderful chatting with JC and hope to talk to you again sometime. You be well.

[D]

Same to you.

[A]

Bye.

[B]

Bye.

[D]

All right. Bye. Bye.

[A]

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[B]

Hello?

[A]

Jack Olson? Yeah. Mishky.

[D]

Tommy. How are you?

[A]

I'm swell. How about you?

[D]

I'm doing very well. I'm sitting here reading a book.

[A]

Let me guess. Let me guess. The Bible.

[B]

No, let me guess.

[D]

Earlier.

[A]

It was earlier.

[D]

Yeah.

[A]

What time do you generally read the Bible?

[D]

I start about quarter to five.

[A]

Yeah. It's not as scary then. You read that thing about midnight and look out, brother. I mean, it starts to get spooky and affects your dreams. Next thing you know, you're stoning someone. What book are you reading?

[D]

I'm reading one I got for Christmas. The man who Knew Coolidge.

[A]

The man who Knew Coolidge.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Interesting that it isn't a book. By Coolidge. It's by a man who knew him. One removed from actually reading Coolidge's words. This guy knew Coolidge. Imagine if the author knew the author who wrote the book on the guy who knew Coolidge. I mean, at that point you're getting a much less interesting book. As it stands, I'm not sure the book sounds that great. Is it?

[D]

Well, I love Sinclair Lewis and when I finished this book, I will have read all of his novels.

[A]

Wow.

[D]

I'm a small town guy.

[A]

So you're a small town guy.

[D]

Yep. Grew up in a small town, 1100 people in Illinois. You did a podcast on a commercial fisherman in on the Mississippi River? Yeah, I grew up about 50, 60 miles south of there on the Mississippi river, and my father was a commercial fisherman. So that podcast really hit home with me.

[A]

I really enjoyed running into that fella. I was traveling the country for my road show and I was driving through Illinois and I came upon this guy on the Mississippi. And we ended up sitting on his back porch. He had a jug of wine and we ended up visiting for a while as he told me about his life as a commercial fisherman on the Mississippi. And of course, I had never met a commercial fisherman on the Mississippi. How many of those do you run into in this day and age? He was an older guy. He liked his wine, and every now and then someone would arrive wanting to buy some fish from them and not a single person who ever showed up, not a single person was born in the United States. His business was almost entirely immigrants.

[D]

There's a guy that's still commercial fisherman in my hometown, and he told me that he has a huge business selling fish to African immigrants. They really like carp.

[B]

My mother's family came to this country approximately 1650.

[A]

Really?

[B]

This is early Great Britain loses the American Revolution. We get this big hunk of ground called the Northwest Territory. My great great grandfather, I guess his name was David, came down the Ohio river and he turns up the Mississippi river and he settles here on the western border of the new United States.

[A]

This is our far western border at that time period.

[B]

It's our far western sovereign border of the newly formed United States. The official border was the Mississippi River. We've always had this piece of property here on the riverbank. And I literally crawled on this, playing with my soldiers and heaving rocks at them until I discovered I could go catch a fish and make a dollar.

[A]

How were you making a buck? How did it work right at the the start?

[B]

Low maintenance, low investment fishing. And that's a simple gang of hooks. Some people call them jump lines, some people call them trot lines. It's just simply going out with a little boat setting 150, 200 hooks in the river at night. Cut the little pieces of minnows or worms or whatever it is, grasshopper, and put them on each little individual hook called a jump line. Then I run the line and hooks out of the box, dropping little depth charges on the catfish. All right. Then the next morning you go pick them up. It takes time to understand the rhythm, the seasonal change. It takes time to understand this. But by God, you better learn or else you better get out of it. It's all poke and hope out here. We don't use spotter planes in the sky to find fish. We don't have all this electronic like the guys up in Alaska do. And we don't have nets that are a mile long. Look at that river. Put a hundred hooks out there and see what your chances are. You can't see these fish.

[A]

Fish when you first got them as a young kid, who bought them from you?

[B]

People came down here and got them off me for their own table. Sell it to them live.

[A]

How did it evolve from that?

[B]

The next step is you start to learn how to build nets.

[A]

What are your days like now?

[B]

It's a total freaking problem. Paradise. I don't understand why other people don't do it. They may not know how I didn't. I've made a lot of mistakes out there. By God, you better learn fast though.

[A]

Again, going back to your paradise. When I say, what is your day like?

[B]

Okay, I got up this morning. Remember, fishing is highly regulated by three factors. Water temperature, river stage and weather. Water temperature. This is a cold blooded animal we're dealing with. If the water temperature is wrong, you're not going to get them. River stage. Well, that's terribly disruptive in my world. But every factor that mother nature can throw at a fisherman, there's always another way to get around mother nature. I can't really describe this to you. There's times when nets work very well, then they go dead. The trammel nets. There's times when they work well, they go dead. And then finally there comes the time when a hook is the queen of the battlefield. What did Napoleon say the queen of the battlefield is? Archdeacon Artillery. Every device I have has its time in this war against fish. I can't give you years of battle scenarios in a little discussion like this. I can't. I have two boats in operation. One boat for this type of battle and another boat for that type of battle, a net boat and a hook boat. How do I explain this world? I can't explain it.

[A]

Are you truly making your living almost exclusively off immigrants?

[B]

90% of my present day income is immigrant motivated. It's an incredible factor in the last 15 years.

[A]

Before 15 years ago, you weren't doing as well.

[B]

That's right. There were a lot of fish 15, 20 years ago I had to throw away because there was no market for them. Catfish was king 20 years ago. Dealing mainly with us born and raised people, catfish. Then the immigrants start coming in with a different palate, taste. Here's my phrase. Listen very closely. Immigration works for me. What's your freaking problem?

[A]

So now you can also sell carp.

[B]

Regular old standard yellow carp, which used to be a bane in my world. I tried to stay away from them.

[A]

I want to go back to something you said earlier that I know you meant, but I want to explore why you say it. You say you don't work, you fish. Is it still something you have the feeling toward that you did 50 years ago?

[B]

Fishing is a call, lady. Going to work at John Deere or any other job shop. I'm 24 years. About 20. About 24 years old. Shortly after my mom died, I'm down there at this shop and I see an old guy walk by me, smoking a cigarette, shuffling his feet very slowly going to the bathroom. Now he's about 65 years old. At that time. I'm 24. 425. Gee whiz, is that old guy gonna make it to the bathroom? He's just totally mentally. He's a part of the freaking machine. He goes into that shop every day for 30, 40 years, does the same thing over and over. He becomes a wasted old man. Soon as he retires, he's lost. I went fishing because I don't want to go to work.

[A]

If I were to guess what some of the joys of it are for you, I bet I would get a few of them. Not all of them. One of them has to be. You're in charge of your own life. You're not working for anybody. You're running your own show. Two has to be. You clearly love being outdoors in January.

[B]

No, but I'm getting older now. I. I don't have to do that. I saved my money.

[A]

And then I'm gonna guess too on this one. That game you talked about of outwitting Mother Nature's roadblocks. Somewhere in there must be the fun of the challenge. Hey, look.

[B]

What's the old phrase? Wide World of sports. The agony of defeat and the thrill of victory. When you come in with a nice jag of catfish in the morning on your hooks, your head's as big as a giant pumpkin.

[A]

And when you fail miserably, it only feels.

[B]

You just go in the house and you don't talk to anybody for a day or two.

[A]

I assume you'd agree with this. This river has quite a few personalities along the way.

[B]

The Mississippi river is a very interesting river worldwide. I'll tell you why. It's one of the very few rivers that flows north and south on this planet. A lot of rivers have an east west type flowage to them. Oh, there's the Nile River. Yeah, that goes north and south. There's the Red river of the north. There's certain tributaries to the Amazon river that go north and south. But a lot of these rivers generally flow through the same kind of like, climatic. You take a look at this Mississippi river, look, you're from Minnesota. You come from a different breed of stock of people up there. But as you go down the Mississippi river, you start to get into different, I don't want to say ethnic groups, but cultural. You start getting into southern Illinois, you start running into the hillbilly factor. Then when you get into the deep south, you get into the deep Southern people, the Confederate type people. Even the linguistics change. But the Amazon river goes east and west, more or less. A homogenous culture and climate. But this Mississippi river, it's. It's an interesting place.

[A]

And then there's one other set of different differences that I wanted you to comment on. It isn't quite the wide, big old highway where I'm from.

[B]

Yeah, it's a little tiny, narrow creek. I've been up there. That famous bridge that fell down, 35W bridge. I remember some of the people down in Brazil saw that and they said, my God, that river of yours up there, the little tiny creek. Well, that's the northern part.

[A]

That's.

[B]

But you come down to my part or you get down where the Ohio enters in. I've seen push boats down there, 40 to 50 barges. They don't have to break them apart. There's no dams. My mom and dad always had this little piece of property down here on the river. We lived in another house five blocks up the road here where my grandfather lived, my great grandfather, and where my mother was born and died. She was born in that house and she died in the house. Her father died there, and my great grandfather Maxwell died there.

[A]

Is that house still there?

[B]

My brother Lives there.

[A]

He didn't get the calling.

[B]

No, he went to the shops. He went to the shops and he liked to drink beer. And still to this day he's about 71 and he's still working at the places. Like I tell everybody, I have to take him outside and show him that's the sun, that's the moon, those are stars. Where he's been, his life has been under a roof.

[A]

Did he end up like that old man? Shuffle into the bathroom?

[B]

He's very close to it.

[A]

What do you think he'd say about the life you died chose?

[B]

He always says I was the smartest of the kids. But you know what? He gets a lot more Social Security as I do.

[A]

Did your mother have anything to do with the river?

[B]

Well, she came from river people. Her father was a master and pilot of steamboats. Her grandfather was a lamplighter to the old six foot navigation channel out here. And her great grandfather, it got here by riverboat.

[A]

You ever been intrigued by any of the Mississippi writing? Like Life on the Mississippi by Twain or anything like that?

[B]

Listen, Mark Twain, he's a writer. He likes to fantasize. He's got to sell stories, okay? And what the hell? Why do I want to know about life on the Mississippi River? Let me write the freaking book. I've traveled the whole length of the Mississippi river river by boat. I went home one day, I said, well mom, I'm going to New Orleans. She looked at me, will you write me a letter? I said, well mom, I'll call you whenever I get a chance to. I'll call you collect. So my dad and I, we got together and we worked. Remember I'm in high school. And we built a beautiful wooden boat. It was nice. I got compliments from people who built that boat. Young man. My dad and I built this. I'm going to New Orleans. I lived on the sandbar with Chef boy rd.

[A]

When you think back on that trip, what highlights come to mind?

[B]

The main highlight is I'm never going to do it again. That was sheer stupidity, you stupid idiot. What did you do this for? Now you gotta go home. I gotta get my boat back up here. I don't drive, remember? I'm still going to high school. I gotta go home now. I came home all the way by river.

[A]

Were the friends you made living here. River, river people, fishermen.

[B]

I used to run around with kids here in town that, you know, we swam on the sandbars and we went fishing together.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, they still around.

[B]

One of them drowned it. We were 14 the kid came wheeling up on his bicycle. And I was down here with my dad. And he said, come on, Jim, let's go swimming. The river was still wild. My dad said, james, you're not going swimming. And you, the other kid, you two kids stay out of the river. It's not right. It was cold water from Minnesota, still coming in, and Chuck wants to go swimming. My dad said, no, it's not right. And 45 minutes later, the emergency siren went to the fire station. They pulled him out of the river.

[A]

Dead.

[B]

Three or four days later. I'm carrying his casket down in the little Methodist church down here. You know, I'm like 13, 14 years old, and Chucky's the same age. And that's the first one the river got. Come on, you gotta have some of this. Some of this Concord grape wine built by the Crouch down in Herman, Missouri.

[A]

Oh, I'll gladly have some.

[B]

I'm not a drunk, I'm a wino. I got some glass.

[A]

It is clear to me that the life's good to you. You seem pretty damned healthy.

[B]

I don't even want to talk about my health because I've been so lucky. My mother is descended from pioneer American stock. I fit very well in my mother's estimation because my mother was used to her people going down to the river like I'm going to New Orleans tomorrow. Mom, will you like me? Dad is a little different. He comes from a recently arrived Germanic immigrant. You participate in the industrial growth of the United States and then you retire and drink some beer. And I made it very clear to my parents, look, you want to send me to college, Go ahead, send me to college. It's your fantasy, not mine. When I get out of college, I'm going right back down here to the riverbank where you can see very clearly that you, mom and dad squandered your money in a worthless enterprise. When I graduated from college, I went up. My mom and dad kind of threw the diploma at them. I said, here, this is yours. You paid for it. And I left with a buddy of mine instead of my mom and dad. Later that night, I come home. There's a nice note on the dresser, congratulatory note. I open it up, it's on top of my diploma. Mom and dad wrote a nice little note. James, this is your diploma. You earned it. We are proud of what you have accomplished for yourself and for us. Opened it up, there was a thousand dollar bill in there. A Grover Cleveland. Now, to get a penny off my mom and dad, that was, like, impossible. It really meant something to them. You know what I did with that thousand dollar bill? I took it to a guy and bought an airboat off of him so that I could go fishing that winter.

[A]

You were at Augustine? Yeah.

[B]

Please don't tell anybody because I am the poster child for the anti education crowd. As a freshman, I took a 300 level course in Latin prose and poetry. The one famous poem, Narcissus. This guy's got some serious mental issues. Looking at a reflection of himself in a mud puddle and contemplating suicide. My answer to his problem. Deal with it. Does a person need college education down here on the riverbank?

[A]

No.

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

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North American Banking Company Member fdic. Equal Housing Lender Close your eyes and imagine a map of Minnesota right now. Now try to find a spot where Fury Motors isn't making someone's day. It's pretty much impossible. Since 1963, the Fury family has been playing matchmaker between Minnesotans and their dream rides. Are you heading to Stillwater or South St. Paul? You'll get your Chrysler, Dodge and Jeep, brand new there at Fury. Steer the map over to Waconia. Suddenly you're looking at brand new Fords. Keep heading north to Forest Lake. Boom. You're surrounded by a sea of professional grade Buicks and GMCs. But wait. You say you want a used car? Well, hold on to your mittens, camper. Cause every Fury location is packed with all sorts of used cars in all sorts of makes and models. And they look brand new to me. They've been doing this for over 60 years. Three generations of Minnesotans buying from the same family. Why Because Fury has the highest customer satisfaction rating you'll ever find with a car dealership. And there's a ride waiting there with your name on it. Fury Motors since 1963. A Minnesota legend. I received an email from a listener responding to a question I had asked on a recent show. I was doing something on the 100th anniversary of the motel. The motel turned 1100 in December of 2025. And on a recent program, I was saying that some of the best stories out there are stories that have come from a motel room. Things happen in motel rooms. Weird things, funny things, extraordinary things, dangerous things, twisted things, ridiculous things. During that particular program, I said, you people out there, if you've got a story from a motel, pass it along. I like hearing from listeners. It feeds the soul to get a little something back from the people. And Mary of White Bear lake decided to answer the call. She said to herself, I have a motel story. And she wrote the. Hi there, Mishke. You asked for motel stories. Well, when I was 19, I fell in love with a bad boy. I was a Catholic college student and he was, well, Fonzie. I had a 65 VW Beetle and he convinced me to turn it into a three wheeled motorcycle. He completely tore my car apart, welding a Triumph fork to the front and a kitchen chair as the seat. He took off the license plates from his motorcycle and put them on this awesome new creation. Well, we decided to take it to Texas to visit a friend of his. I sat behind him on the kitchen chair. Almost every town we went through from Minnesota to Texas, we were stopped by the police. They'd get out, walk around this vehicle, and then let us go. Some of them would say something like, huh, cool. One night, we were trying to make time when it started to rain. And my boyfriend thought we should stay under a bridge for the night. Sleep under a bridge. I wasn't having any part of that, so I said, I'm walking. I walked in the rain for a while, and then I saw my guy go speeding by on the bike in the dark. I knew he was looking for me, but he didn't see me. After a time, I came upon a seedy old motel. I got a little room for 25 bucks and I was in heaven. I had a shower, I had a bed. I had fresh sheets and I had a tv. I woke up the next morning and didn't even know what state I was in. I asked the desk guy what to do, and he suggested I wait at the toll booth down the road to see if my boyfriend would show up with no other ideas or options. That's what I did. And amazingly, after hours of me just sitting and hoping he came by, I ran out and hugged the man I loved. We made it to Texas, Mishke, but his friend didn't seem particularly glad to see us. So we headed home after a couple of days and we made it almost to the Minnesota border before that engine caught fire. I don't have any recollection of how we got home from there, but I do remember my boyfriend and I broke up. The only question before going our separate ways was whether the bike was going to be his or whether it was going to be mine. Finally, to settle the issue, we decided to take it out to some lake and push it to the end of a long dock, sending it into 12ft of water. We watched it sink and disappear below the surface. I'll tell you, Mishke, when I think back on that experience, my favorite memory is the one night I spent alone in a motel room with a warm shower, a fresh towel, and a bed with a soft pillow. Signed, Mary of White Bear Lake. Thanks for taking the time to write all of that, Mary. That was a fine tale. I enjoyed it. Hope you people did too. Thanks for listening. I'll talk to you again next time. So long. For now.