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MISCHKE: Manners Memories & Moon Missions

Garage Logic

Sat Feb 28 2026

Summary

Garage Logic: "MISCHKE: Manners Memories & Moon Missions"

Date: February 28, 2026
Host: Tommy Mischke (subbing in the Garage Logic universe)
Podcast Network: Gamut Podcast Network

Episode Overview

This episode, featuring the inimitable Tommy Mischke, is a whip-smart, characterful exploration of modern manners, teenage nostalgia, memorable listener stories, and musings on both human frailty and lunar ambition. Mischke blends observational humor, poignant storytelling, and rapid pivots from topics like “bear beating” (blasting audio in public) to organ donation and the existential letdown of modern moon missions. The tone swings between heartfelt, reflective, and mischievously dry.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Etiquette Crisis: "Bear Beating" (12:04–20:00)

Definition of “Bear Beating”
Mischke introduces “bear beating,” a term for rudely playing audio (music, podcasts) out loud in public, forcing others to endure your choices:
- “That’s called bear beating…crank this program in public where others have to listen to it. That shows bad manners.” (Mischke, 02:07)
Expert Input
He references etiquette experts Nick Layton (“Were You Raised by Wolves?”) and Jody Smith (Manorsmith Etiquette Consulting):
- “You are imposing your choices on a captive audience. That’s impolite. Nobody decided they wanted to listen to that audio, and yet there they are, having to endure it without consent.” (Nick Layton, quoted by Mischke, 02:46)
- “Sometimes bear beaters… are just blissfully unaware…trying to pass the time and don’t realize the volume setting is positively offensive.” (Jody Smith via Mischke, 03:40)
The Timelessness of Rudeness
Mischke (with tongue in cheek) suggests “bear beating” is as old as humanity, lampooning the high horse of etiquette experts.
Comic Digression
Mischke spins a fantasy about Jody unflappably breaking wind at a meditation retreat, phrasing her disruption as a sort of “Buddhist koan”:
- “After my graceful expulsion of gas…I say, ah. Never trust a ventriloquist. It’s almost a Buddhist koan, isn’t it?” (Mischke, 04:35)
A Defense—Sort Of
Mischke briefly considers defending bear beating, though admits, “it is, of course, rude. I get it… But I wish to hit the pause button right now, however briefly. Bear with me, please.” (05:48)

2. Teenage Nostalgia: The Joy of Breaking Manners for Music (12:04–23:21)

Personal Reminiscence
Mischke shares a vivid memory of being sixteen, driving his father’s 1969 LTD, and blasting Linda Ronstadt’s version of “Poor Poor Pitiful Me” on the first warm day of spring, windows open, reveling in the freedom of youth:
- “You offered to go to the grocery store for your mother just so you could drive the LTD…And Linda Ronstadt is singing Warren Zevon’s Poor, Poor Pitiful Me, and it’s 61 degrees and you’re 16 and it’s Saturday and the damn snow is finally going away…” (12:04–14:20)
Rules Meant to be Broken
- “Good old Jody, the graceful queen of what’s proper and polite. Sure, she would not abide you cranking that song…but in that moment, is she right or are you right? Tough call. This is perhaps where the phrase rules are meant to be broken was born.” (15:15)
Poignant Reflection
He laments loss—the passage of youth, health, artistry (referencing Linda Ronstadt’s Parkinson’s, Warren Zevon’s death)—with a gentle melancholy:
- “For a moment...that spring was eternal and being a teenager was a state of grace that would never end.” (16:45)

3. Life, Death, and Second Chances: A Listener’s Organ Transplant Story (23:21–37:26)

Live Listener Call (Dave’s Story: 24:03–36:32)
- Dave, the Listener, describes receiving a liver transplant after a genetic condition, the wonder and guilt that comes with such a gift, and his gratitude upon connecting with his donor’s family:
  - “About 14 months ago, I received the gift of a liver transplant… I found a Marine who was willing to give me his. And I spent some difficult weeks and months in recovery. And I will tell you, Tommy, that’s right when you came back on… It was a tremendous source of relief…” (Dave, 24:53–25:31)
  - “Do you have survivor’s guilt?” – “I did. I will tell you that I spent several tearful nights in the hospital after transplant, the idea being that you were feeling badly that someone had to die for you to live.” (Mischke & Dave, 27:06–27:25)
- How the System Works
  - “The phone rings and they say, hey, we got a liver. And you spray your coffee across the kitchen. And it happens fast. I’m here to tell you, they move. You have to be at the hospital within six hours or they’ll give it to somebody else.” (Dave, 30:30–30:58)
- Humor Amidst Adversity
  - Dave makes a “transplant survivor” merit badge via AI and donates proceeds to Donate Life America.
  - Mischke contemplates comedic YouTube videos involving one’s removed liver and jokes about “Fun with Liver”—“You’ve given me permission to have some fun with liver. In fact, I’m working on a book right now in my head called Fun with Liver.” (Mischke, 35:32, laughter from both)
Gratitude and Outlook
- “Every day I make it a point to look skyward and just thank the maker.” (Dave, 34:12)
Listener Bond
- Touching moment as Dave recalls a past conversation with Mischke and a favorite inside joke: “You said, a hard-boiled waitress who’s drinking corn whiskey out of a dirty distributor cap. And I said, you know what? That guy’s got it.”
  (Dave & Mischke, 36:19–36:45)

4. News & Reflections: “Dumb” Crime and Human Nature (38:40–50:00)

News Story: Teenage Burglars
Mischke recounts, with satirical flair, the story of two nineteen-year-olds charged with burglary:
- “They told police they were, quote, just messing around and doing stuff we shouldn’t have, unquote. One of the two was already on probation for another dumb thing he had done…” (Mischke, 38:40–39:50)
Satirical Riff on Crime Excuses
He lampoons the pervasiveness of “I was just being dumb” as an excuse, escalating it comically to infamous cases (OJ, Manson Family, Nuremberg trials):
- “OJ Admit it, you did it. Okay, I did it…Yet it was dumb. I know I was messing around where I shouldn’t have been, and, well, it was just a dumb thing to do. Can we just chalk it up to being dumb?” (Mischke as OJ, 42:00–43:00)
Wry Commentary on Human Folly
- “When exactly was the moment that it became dumb? And at what level of crime does that line, ‘we were just doing dumb stuff,’ no longer sound like the right line to be delivering to the police?” (Mischke, 41:25)

5. Lofty Dreams, Practical Realities: New Moon Mission (50:00–End)

Moon Missions—Not Quite “Unprecedented” Mischke reports on an upcoming Artemis mission, marveling at the underwhelming “unprecedented” nature—it’s just a new route, and no landing:
- “Unprecedented. They’re going to build a home on the moon. An actual home. A little house with a picket fence. Or it’s unprecedented. They’re going to parachute down to the moon.” (Mischke, 50:00)
- “NASA says the short answer is [the spacecraft] doesn’t have the capability. This sounds kind of like we’re moving more in the direction of a cruise ship.” (Mischke, 51:03)
Critique & Imagination
- Contrast to the excitement of the Apollo era and tongue-in-cheek speculation about the moon’s tourist potential:
  “If you’d have told me in 72 that over a half century would go by before we ever even went near the moon again, I would have said that’s absolutely impossible.” (Mischke, 51:30)
Comic “Secret Meeting” Hypothesis Mischke imagines NASA brass bored with the barren moon, joking it’s “worse than Bismarck, North Dakota. I mean, there is nothing there.” (Mischke, 52:00)
Space Vegas Fantasizes about a casino resort at Tranquility Base: “Welcome to our 5th Ace Casino. The finest casino this side of the Galactic Rim…Think about what we could do up there.” (Mischke, 50:36–End)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“That’s called bear beating… Do not crank this program in public where others have to listen to it. That shows bad manners.” (Mischke, 02:07)
“You are imposing your choices on a captive audience. That’s impolite…they are having to endure it without consent.” (Nick Layton, via Mischke, 02:46)
[On etiquette experts] “Manorsmith. Like Blacksmith, except Manorsmith, meaning I’m the manners artisan, if you will. The manners craftsman. Forgive me now, as I break wind. No, Jody, don’t do that! No, it’s okay. I’m a mannersmith. I’ll do it with grace.” (Mischke, 04:10)
“Rules are meant to be broken sometimes.” (Mischke, 16:51)
“About 14 months ago, I received the gift of a liver transplant...It was a tremendous source of relief to be able to listen to you again through these rather difficult times.” (Dave, 24:53–25:31)
“Every day I make it a point to look skyward and just thank the maker.” (Dave, 34:12)
“Funny trumps everything, go for it.” (Dave, 35:29)
“OJ Admit it, you did it. Okay, I did it…Yet it was dumb.” (Mischke as OJ, 42:00)
“If you’d have told me in 72 that over a half century would go by before we ever even went near the moon again, I would have said that’s absolutely impossible.” (Mischke, 51:30)

Timestamps for Key Segments

Bear beating & etiquette discussion: 02:07–11:34
Teenage nostalgia & music: 12:04–16:51
Listener call – Organ transplant story: 23:21–37:26
Satirical crime segment: 38:40–44:50
Moon mission musings & casino fantasy: 50:00–End

Summary Tone & Closing Impression

Tommy Mischke’s blend of sharp satire, offbeat humor, and sincere empathy makes this episode a layered meditation on why we act rude, the enduring magic of youth, the fragility and randomness of life, and the absurdity of modern achievement. Whether musing about blaring music, baring one’s soul post-surgery, or feigning outrage at lunar boredom, Mischke keeps it heartfelt, funny, and unmistakably human.

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Transcript

Tommy Mischke (0:00)

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Mark Ellis (1:05)

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Tommy Mischke (1:25)

Hey, it's Pete Arnold from Hire It Pro and I've used garagelogic to promote business for years and I have seen great results and new clients for my

Dave (1:32)

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Tommy Mischke (1:34)

I recommend it to any business looking for new customers.

Dave (1:37)

G l ers are pretty awesome. You just gotta ask for an introduction.

Mark Ellis (1:39)

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Mishke (2:07)

Are you playing this loudly? Sure, you enjoy the show, but why are you forcing those around you to have to listen? That's called bear beating and my name's Mishke. That's right, there's a term for this bear beating. Do not crank this program in public where others have to listen to it. That shows bad manners. Have you ever been trapped on a bus or a light rail train or a subway or an airplane with someone watching a TikTok video on their phone without headphones? Or maybe blasting some music? Or have you been stuck in a doctor's office waiting room as some fellow patient broadcasts some game to everyone, some sports event, thinking everyone would surely enjoy this? If so, you have experienced what some people call bear beating. Yes, bear beating. This term refers to the act of playing music, playing videos, playing podcasts out loud in public without headphones, essentially treating shared space like your personal living room. Do you do that? God, what is wrong with you? From what I read, this is rude. There's just no other way to slice it, says Nick Layton, an etiquette expert and host of the program Were you raised by wolves? That's a podcast you can listen to. It's called were you raised by wolves? Now say you were raised by wolves. Cool. Wow. Could I interview you? You were raised by wolves. Where? What was that like? Let's just go to one moment in your existence and talk about it. School conferences? Did your teachers freak out? I mean, when the wolves brought you in? Says Nick Layton, host of Were you raised by wolves? You are imposing your choices on a captive audience. That's impolite. Nobody decided they wanted to listen to that audio, and yet there they are, having to endure it without consent. Now, Jody Smith, the president of of Manorsmith Etiquette Consulting, she agrees with Old Nick. She emphasizes that, yes, bear beating is unequivocally rude. She says the presumption that everyone wants to listen to what you're listening to is simply unacceptable, says Jody. Some people just aren't mindful of how their behavior affects others and simply have no idea how far speakers can carry sound, she says. Sometimes bear beaters don't necessarily have negative intent. They're just blissfully unaware they're trying to pass the time and don't realize the volume setting is positively offensive. And she says while bear beating feels like modern behavior, it's not new at all. Forcing strangers to become your unwilling audience has been an issue that has plagued human humanity since the dawn of time, she says. Wow. Jody has spoken. President of Manorsmith Etiquette Consulting. And what a gig that must be. What do you do again, ma'? Am? I am the president of a company that tells people the proper way to do things. Good manners, right behavior. I tell them the way, the way, the proper way in all things. And thus people look to me as a paragon of good manners. Manorsmith is the name of my company. Manorsmith. Like Blacksmith, except Manorsmith, meaning I'm the manners artisan, if you will. The manners craftsman. The manners expert. I work in the field of manners at a very high level. Forgive me now, as I break wind. No, no, no, no, Jody, don't do the hat. No, it's okay. I'm a mannersmith. I'll do it with grace, in a delicate and mannerly way. No, no, Jody, we're in a meditation group here. It'll throw people off. They are deep in their meditations. We are at a silent retreat, for God's sakes. Surely there are rules, etiquette, regarding this. Oh, yes, but as a manorsmith, I'm the one who tells you what those rules are. I'm the president of the company, remember? I'm an etiquette expert. Okay, okay, fine. Jody, what are. What are the rules of etiquette here? Well, right after my graceful expulsion of gas, I say out loud, as the meditators are disrupted from the serene sound of their own breathing, I say, ah. Never trust a ventriloquist. What? Yes, and that line throws them, see? It throws them. Momentarily, it takes their attention off me and onto something else. That strange statement, never trust a ventriloquist. It's almost a Buddhist koan, isn't it? They'll think, what does she mean? Exactly? And they'll get lost in that thought, almost as though they've been provided a spiritual teaching moment. A Zen lesson in pondering the paradoxical. Wow. Thanks, Jody. You're a sage. And I'm gonna talk to you more about this from another 12ft away right now, if you don't mind. Actually, I'm gonna step further back than that. Anyway, this woman, Jody, was asked to take on the issue of bear beating. And why on earth they call it bear beating, I do not know. But. But I'd like to defend bear beating, if I might. Jody is aghast. No, Jody has gas. I'd like to defend bear beating. Not entirely. Not completely. Not really sincerely, actually. It is, of course, rude. I get it. It's a no brainer etiquette thing. Sure. Okay, fine. But I wish to hit the pause button right now, however briefly. Bear with me, please. You bear beaters. That's right. TD Mishke will defend bear beating, sort of, in a way, following this break. Now give me that bass. Have you ever noticed that the universe has a weird sense of humor? I mean, one minute you're living your best life, and the next gravity decides to have a personal vendetta against you. Maybe it was a distracted driver who thought a red light was just a Suggestion. Maybe a window air conditioner fell from up above and crushed you. Suddenly your life isn't a movie anymore. It's a very expensive slow motion montage of medical bills and insurance adjusters who have the emotional range of a teaspoon. That's when you call Brad, Shaw and Bryant. They aren't just attorneys. They are the cosmic reset button you didn't know you had. While the rest of the world is busy giving you the cold shoulder, Brad, Shaw and Bryant, well, they're turning the oops of the century into the aha of your financial future. They take the wreckage of your Tuesday afternoon and rebuild it into something that actually looks like justice. Learn more@minnesotapersonalinjury.com

Mishke (12:04)

Well, you'll be sorry to learn fribewary is over. Minneapolis St. Paul Plumbing, Heating and Air wants you to know Free Brewery is no more. But all the people who contacted MSP to get that $49 furnace tune up, all in an attempt to possibly win a free furnace. Free Brewery was tremendously successful. One of you got a free furnace when they dropped it from the helicopter and it tore through your roof into your bedroom, crushing your femur. Were you still glad you got the $49 tune up? Yes, you were. There's a hole in your roof. There's pain in your body. But there's a free furnace from msp, the finest plumbing, heating and air conditioning operation in the state of Minnesota. Been around longer than your great, great, great great grandparents have been alive. You have plumbing, air conditioning, furnace, boiler needs. You know who to call. And if you call anyone else, look out. I'm coming for your femur. Msp. Stop it. Stop it. You're playing that too loud. You're annoying people. This. All right, all right. I will turn it down. I know it's rude, but remember when you were 16? Remember 16? Can you take yourself back there? Close your eyes. We're at a meditation retreat after all. Close your eyes. Close your eyes. Take yourself back to 16. You have a nice set of wheels. Say it's Dad's car. Okay, it's a 69 LTD. 2 Tone Olive Green body with a black roof. Dad bought it from Lanny. Lanny, the guy across the street who's always working on cars. All summer long he's under the hood of a car in front of his house. What the hell is Lanny doing with his life? He lives under a freakin hood. Dad doesn't know a thing about cars. And Lanny loves this because he can stick the old man with all the beaters that he keeps claiming are road ready. They're not road ready. Dad gets screwed every time buying from Lanny, but Lanny says, hey, I'm not to blame. Your old man's driving habits are hard on those engines. He's mucking things up with the way he drives. It's an endless neighborhood squabble that's never really resolved anyway. Imagine you are 16 and you have Dad's 69 LTD. And it's early spring, 1977. And the snow. The snow has not entirely melted away. There are still some small mounds here and there on the very far ends of big parking lots, but that's about it. Early spring, April. The leaves aren't on the trees yet, but the temp reads 61 degrees Fahrenheit and it's a Saturday afternoon. And for a northern boy that's like a July day in Santa Monica. And Warren Zavan's Poor Poor Pitiful Me is playing on the radio as you leave the grocery store with the eggs and the butter that your ma told you to buy. You offered to go to the grocery store for your mother just so you could drive the ltd. You'd have gone over to grandma's house to change your diapers for a chance to take out the ltd. You want to drive so badly you just got your license three weeks ago. Anyway, it's Warren Zavan's Poor Poor Pitiful Me, but it's Linda Ronstadt doing the singing. She has just covered that song and she is pouring some steam into it, just killing it. One of those moments when someone comes along, grabs a song and takes it to where it was meant to go. She has just shouted out the lyrics. I lay my head on the railroad track waitin on the double E But the train don't run by here no more. Poor poor pitiful me. And man you turn off your home street, you turn away from home. You don't go home with that bread and butter. You take that car down the hill to River Road where all the great drives have ever been. Right along the mighty Mississippi. Windows down. Your mama is gonna be pissed. She's making something for Aunt Dolores, who's coming over later that afternoon, and you're messing with her whole schedule. But Linda Ronstadt is singing Warren Zavan's Poor, Poor Pitiful me. And it's 61 degrees and you're 16 and it's Saturday and the damn snow is finally going away and you see brown grass everywhere. And when you hit River Road and that diamond sparkle of the sun flashes like white fire off that blue water, you turn it up as loud as you can. Cause Linda is really belting it out now. Oh, these boys won't let me be. Lord have mercy on me. Oh, these boys won't let me be. Somewhere Warren Zavana. Smilin' that smile that comes when someone else takes your song and creates something magical you didn't even know was in it. So you're cruising down River Road and the windows are down and the song is loud and the river is blue and the sun is shining, and it's April, and you come to a stop sign and you stop because the cops hang out down here looking for people like you. Looking for people who like to blow by stop signs, cranking music. You know about those cops. You've been pulled over many times. This time you're careful. You make a full stop and there, there, waiting to cross the street in front of you are three seventeen year old girls who look like full grown women to you. And they know it's 61 degrees in April and they're dressed like it. Like a Minnesota girl would dress after a long winter when the sun shines and temps hit 60 and you're blasting this song and they have to listen to it. Cause your windows are down and you've stopped at a stop sign. But you're good with them hearing it. Cause right now you want the whole world to hear this song. And you believe in your heart, you believe that blasting that song is a good thing. No. No, a sacred thing, the proper thing to do, especially for these young women. They need to hear it. And you say to yourself, they might possibly love this song so much that they will climb into Dad's Limited with you, all three of them looking like goddesses. Like goddesses in the April sun. And together, all of you will tear down River Road, listening to Ronstadt sing Zavan with heart and soul. And you will hit the gas with the girls all singing along behind you. And together, all of you will disappear into the mystical Light of the sun, never to come back to reality ever again. Sure, our lady of the manors, our etiquette expert. Good old Jody, the graceful queen of what's proper and polite. Sure, she would not abide you cranking that song with the windows down at that stop sign. But in that moment, is she right or are you right? Tough call. This is perhaps where the phrase rules are meant to be broken was born. No. Those girls never climbed into your car. And you're not even sure they liked that song. But you tell yourself they did. And you tell yourself they might not have wanted to climb into your car because they were meeting 18 year old boys down at the river shore, but they still heard that song. And for a moment, they felt that song. And for a moment, that spring was eternal and being a teenager was a state of grace that would never end. And Linda Ronstadt would never get Parkinson's and stop singing. And Warren Savann would never get cancer and die. What you don't tell yourself is that this isn't good manners. I should roll up the window, Turn the music down. No, no. Rules are meant to be broken sometimes. What? The train don't run by here no more. Poor, poor, pitiful me. For a good 25 years, Mark ran his construction company with a level of precision that was really the envy of his competitors. This guy knew every bolt, every beam, every line of a blueprint. But at 52, looking at his retirement accounts, the math wasn't feeling as solid as he had hoped. He had the 401k, the IRA, all of that. He thought he was being smart about everything. But there was this nagging feeling that he wasn't doing all he should be doing. Then a friend mentioned Josh Arnold. Mark didn't get a slick brochure. He got 50 minutes free on the phone with a guy who's been navigating these very waters for over 40 years. Josh didn't treat him like a portfolio. He treated him like a person. A person who had worked too hard to leave his Future to chance. 952-925-5608.

Mishke (38:40)

For years now, her world has been shrinking. That vibrant woman who taught piano, who never missed Sunday brunch with a family. She was fading away into the world of Alzheimer's. And her family felt like they were losing her long before she was actually gone. Then they found the Wellshire. The first time they walked in, it didn't feel like a facility. It felt like a homecoming. They passed the classic cinema, the bustling salon, the ice cream parlor. But the moment that changed everything was when they met the staff, including a professional musician who got this lovely woman singing, smiling, laughing. The first notes of a familiar song filling the air. This lovely woman began to sing. For the first time in months, her eyes lit up. And in that fleeting moment, that beautiful fleeting moment, she was herself again. That's the magic of the Wellshire Memory Care center in Bloomington and Medina. Teens who broke into the palace pub in downtown St. Paul and stole liquor and then tried to get on the roof of the nearby St Paul Hotel told police what they did was just dumb. That's according to a police report. Seth and his pal Micah, both 19 years of age and both from Red Wing, are each being charged with two counts of felony second degree burglary. The duo are suspects in several other burglaries as well, all in St. Paul. Late night police responded to an alarm at the palace and found that it had been burglarized. Chairs were turned upside down. A shoe print was on the bar. Bottles of booze were missing. About 15 minutes later, officers were called to the St. Paul Hotel couple blocks away after security guards reported two male suspects were on surveillance cameras trying to force open a roof access door. When officers arrived, the two suspects ran, but they were caught. In Micah's backpack, they found a pry bar, a headlamp, a bottle of Southern Comfort, and a bottle of Bacardi rum. Now, in Seth's backpack, they found pry bars, a bottle of Malibu Original Rum, and two bottles of Bud Light beer. In a police Interview, the pair said it was, quote, dumb to do what they did. They told police they were, quote, just messing around and doing stuff we shouldn't have, unquote. One of the two was already on probation for another dumb thing he had done, breaking into another business last year. And of course, police say they are suspects in several other burglaries, all of which would no doubt be more dumb things that they did. Again, they said they were just messing around and doing stuff we shouldn't have been. All right, fellas, what are you gonna do when we release you two on bail? I suppose go back to doing dumb stuff. Why are you gonna go back to doing dumb stuff, Seth? Why we doing that, Micah? You know why. Cause we're dumb. Oh, yeah. Cause we're dumb. How did you become dumb, fellas? Well, I don't know. Seth here, I think, was kicked in the head by a mule. And I was deprived of oxygen one day for six minutes on a dare, so we're both pretty addled. It's strange the way getting arrested seems to turn a light on. Suddenly the light turns on, and what you did, well, it was dumb. When the two were doing it, I think Seth had said to Micah, are you sure we should be doing this, Micah? And Micah would have said, hell, yeah. You've seen the movies. Being burglars is cool. Well, sure, Micah, but. But isn't it also dumb? Hell, no, Seth. Dumb would be sitting at home helping our parents with the dishes. This is exciting. Yeah, but look, Micah, we've just been arrested. Oh, my God, we have. Well, we're sorry, officers. We were just doing dumb stuff we shouldn't have been doing. Yes, yes, you said that. When exactly was the moment that it became dumb? And at what level of crime does that line, we were just doing dumb stuff no longer sound like the right line to be delivering to the police. For instance, did the Manson family use that line? I don't know what got into us. It was dumb to stab those people. I know that. We were just messing around, getting into things we shouldn't have. And what should you have been doing instead of murdering people in Hollywood? Well, we should have been helping our parents with chores around the house, I think. Yes. Think how different your day would have turned out had you been helping your folks with chores around the house instead of doing these dumb Tate LaBianca murders. OJ Admit it, you did it. Okay, I did it. I did it. Yet it was dumb. I know I was messing around where I shouldn't have been, and, well, it was just A dumb thing to do. Can we just chalk it up to being dumb? Well, O.J. that's what they used as a defense at the Nuremberg trials. See, that's been used. You should come up with something else. Okay, it was stupid. I should have called Nicole and Ron's family that night and told them that it was stupid what I did. Just stupid. And what was stupid about it, do you think? Well, look at me. You know, I lost my job at NBC Sports. They have the new no murdering rule. It's a clause right in my contract. And I gotta tell you something, that's unfair. I saw Pat Summerall do something dumb one time. He's still working. I mean, let's not compare which was more dumb. Let's just agree. Me and Pat Summerall both have done dumb things because people do dumb things. He without sin cast the first stone. You know what I'm saying? I remember saying that to Judge Ito. I said, judge, he without sin cast the first stone. This is different, OJ you say it's different, but is it really different? I had a lapse. It's not like I'm a serial killer. Those two were the only two I was ever going to murder. I didn't murder anyone before them, and I'm not going to murder anyone else after them. Come on, Judge Ito, did you ever knowingly speed? How is it then that you get to be the one with the robe telling me I'm a bad person? You flouted the law. So did I. We both probably thought better of it afterward. Or maybe you kept at it. Maybe you were a serial speeder. I don't know. But there you are, judging me. My murders were a one off. That's it. And since it is a one off, how is society going to be helped by my imprisonment? Wouldn't it make far more sense for me to do community service as a couples counselor? Jajito, more news coming at you in 3, 2, 1. 4. Astronauts are getting ready to take off pretty soon on an unprecedented path to the moon. But they're not landing. When I read the word unprecedented in a headline, and the headline has to do with astronauts going to the moon, I'm thinking there's gonna be something. I'm thinking there's gonna be something really special there. Unprecedented. They're going to build a home on the moon. An actual home. A little house with a picket fence. Or it's unprecedented. They're going to parachute down to the moon. Or it's unprecedented because they're bringing moon motorcycles. I mean, what's the new thing. What's the unprecedented thing? The path they're taking to the moon. This doesn't fire up the imagination. They're going to the moon and they're not landing. Something we did in the 60s. A crew of four will travel beyond the far side of the moon, which could set a new record for the farthest distance humans have ever traveled from Earth. It will also make history as the first trip beyond low Earth orbit for a person of color. The first trip beyond low Earth orbit for a woman. The first trip beyond low Earth orbit for a Canadian. But why won't this craft land on the lunar surface? NASA says the short answer is it doesn't have the capability. This isn't a lunar lander. This sounds kind of like we're moving more in the direction of a cruise ship. They don't want to land, I think, because they got the rocks, they got the moon dust. What else is there to get there? They looked around. There wasn't anything going there. What's the point? I guess it's time to just enjoy space travel and forget landing. If you'd have told me in 72 that over a half century would go by before we ever even went near the moon again, I would have said that's absolutely impossible. I would have said in a half century we'll be vacationing on the moon. We'll have a caribou coffee in one of the craters. We'll be staying overnight on the moon. Heading back in the morning after a fun weekend. What happened? Something happened after 1972. I think there was a secret meeting. Boys, I gotta tell you, I know it really fired up the imagination of a lot of folks on this Earth getting to the moon. But were you also a little surprised at how little was there? I was, Dave. I really was. I mean, I've been to Morocco and had a great time. My wife and I were there last year. We've been to Honolulu. Hell of a lot to do there. The moon, nothing. I know. That's what I'm saying. We gotta quit going there. Fellas, I don't know how we explain it to the American people, but we gotta quit going there. I mean, this is a complete and utter waste of time. It's worse than going to Bismarck, North Dakota. I mean, there is nothing there. I hear you, Johnny, but I gotta tell you something. There was hardly anything in Vegas before the mob started building what they built there. It was pretty desolate. And pretty soon it was America's adult playground. Think about it. Nothing on the moon. Now, but use your imagination. Think about what we could do up there.