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- [00:00]
A
Garagelogic isn't just another podcast. It's a trusted voice with a loyal audience. Every day, listeners tune in and pay attention to the businesses we feature. When you advertise with garagelogic, you're putting your brand in front of people who listen and act. We're number one in Anguilla, and we'll make your business number one with G Ellers. Here's what one of our clients had to say.
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B
Hey, it's Pete Arnold from Hire it Pro.
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C
And I've used garagelogic to promote my business for years.
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B
And I have seen great results and
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C
new clients for my services from the GL audience. I recommend it to any business looking for new customers. Giles are pretty awesome.
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B
You just gotta ask for an introduction.
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A
You just heard how garagelogic delivers results for our advertising partners. Now it's your turn. Reach our engaged audience of G alers and grow your business by contacting account executive mark ellis@mark.ellisbi.com that's mark.ellisbi.com Put your message where it belongs, right in the ears of listeners who trust garagelogic.
- [01:04]
B
Sorry to interrupt your day. I have a show I need to do here. My apologies if it doesn't stack up to some of the other programs you've heard. My name's Mishke. Forgive me if even the introduction here isn't up to snuff. That's three times I've apologized to you and I shouldn't have apologized any one of those times. I should not have. I had done nothing wrong. Sorry if the music bothers you. There I go again. I've been thinking about saying sorry of late because people have been saying it to me. Someone opened up a door that I was coming out of at a coffee shop and they said, sorry. They had done nothing, but they said sorry. They opened up the door and I was coming out and they said, sorry. And I looked at them and I said, that's perfectly all right. And of course it was perfectly all right. They had done nothing wrong. They were opening a door. I was exiting the door. What was with the sorry? Up until that moment, I wouldn't have given the sorry a second thought. But I thought about it right then and there. And it was compounded by the fact that later in the day, someone said to me when bringing up an idea for my show, sorry, this may be a dumb idea, but now they were helping me out. They were delivering an idea to me, but they apologized first. They had done nothing wrong. They said, sorry, this might be a dumb idea, but. And I said, no, no, no, no. No need to apologize. And of course, there was no need to apologize. Have you ever had someone bump into you on the street and you say sorry to them? That happened one hour later? This is what has me thinking about sorry. Unnecessary apologies. You have it happen. I'm sure you do. A colleague asks for your input in a meeting, you preface your input with sorry. I don't know if this is going to be appealing or not, but a friend cancels plans, and somehow, inexplicably, you end up apologizing, saying sorry. If that particular date wasn't convenient for you, why are you apologizing? Are you overly polite? I used to think, yeah, that's what's going on. People are overly polite. No, no, no, no, no, no. Here's what I learned when I researched it. There's a meaningful difference between a genuine apology and the reflexive, kind of endlessly saying sorry kind of apology you hear all the time out there over. Apologizing is when sorry becomes a placeholder for emotions we've never had the space to express, including fear of being judged. There are people in this world who fear they're taking up more space than they're allowed. Taking up more space than allowed. That's not a politeness problem. That's a belief problem. And it was installed in early childhood. That's what I'm learning. According to psychologists, parents who blame children for outcomes beyond their control teach children that that apologizing is the only reliable way to stop the emotional onslaught. The child learns, if I say sorry fast enough, often enough, the danger passes. Now, you carry that into adulthood, and you have a grown woman or man who apologizes before they've even assessed whether they've done anything wrong. They're constantly saying, sorry. Is that you? It's called the please and appease response. It looks like virtue on the outside. The person constantly apologizing is often described as thoughtful, considerate, easy to get along with. But that ain't kindness. Not based on what I'm reading. That's fear wearing a costume. Yes. The child who learned to preempt anger by becoming maximally agreeable was doing the smartest thing available to them at the time. But in adulthood, this becomes a loud inner critic that shames you for having any desires at all. The apology becomes a preemptive strike, a way of acknowledging your own inconvenience before anyone can point it out to you. Ick. God, that's terrible. You walk into a coffee shop, someone's walking out, so you're at the door at the same Time. The person says sorry and maybe you say sorry. Maybe you both say sorry and then go by each other. You're the sorry twins. I'm waiting in line at the coffee shop. I turn to a guy, say sorry, could I bother you for the time? The guy looks at me and what are you apologizing for? Why didn't you just ask me the time? I dunno. I fear I don't even deserve to take up this space. At the counter. You order coffee, but then you change your mind and you switch to tea. Sorry, sorry, sorry to do that to you. They're getting paid hourly. You've done nothing wrong. They're fine. This is what they do. Quit apologizing. Was that the end of my curiosity? No. I decided to research more. I bought a plane ticket and I went to Munich, Germany. They have a psychology center there where they study all of this stuff. And I spent two weeks there. No, I did a little bit more research online and I found out what this sorry thing is related to. And here's where it gets rough. I think you know about the fight or flight response, right? Everybody knows about the fight or flight response. You're under stress and you have a fight, fight or flight response. Now, there are others out there who also know that freeze gets added to it. Fight, flight or freeze. Three Fs. I like saying that. Fight, flight or freeze. What do you want to do? What do you want to do? I want to fight, flight or freeze? Fight, flight or freeze? Fight, flight or freeze? There's a fourth F, people. I didn't know this, but there's a fourth F and this is tied into the apologizing. Fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Oh, God, that's a terrible word. Fawn. That's one of the options under stress. Fight, flight, freeze or fawn. Turns out there have always been four Fs, but very few ever talk about the fourth one. You'll hear people talk about the third one. And mostly you hear fight or flight? Fight or flight, Bob? What's it gonna be? I'd like to freeze. Oh, yeah, there's that one too. Fight or flight, Bob? Or freeze? What's it gonna be? Have you heard about this one? Fun. No, I have not. When you're in imminent danger, okay, you're encountering a dangerous animal or you're being threatened by an attacker. Fight or flight? You hear that a lot right there. Fight or flight or freeze? Maybe you freeze. When we face a dangerous or stressful situation, our brains launch into this fight, flight or freeze response. And it's very similar to what animals experience in the wild. When an animal is being chased by a predator, it will run away, fight back or freeze. But with people, fawn gets added. We get a fourth F. Instead of fighting, fleeing, freezing, you fawn, you try to be nice. You try to appease the threat. You try to make yourself small and non threatening. It's the creepiest of the four Fs. Fawning. People in fawn mode appease and accommodate in order to stay safe. People fawn to avoid conflict. Here comes conflict. Do I freeze? Do I flee? Do I fight or do I fawn? I'm going to fawn. I think, yeah, I'm going to take undue responsibility for what just happened and apologize profusely. I'm going to try and maintain a pleasant connection with this threat by getting small and getting weak. If someone repeatedly hurts you and you endlessly see it from their perspective, you're fawning. It's a toxic cocktail of having too much empathy, avoiding conflict and people pleasing. While it's one thing to understand why people do things they do, it's another to forget your own needs. Worse still, to thrust the burden upon your shoulders to make other people feel better or to rescue them. Ultimately, you can suffer from empathy burnout. You can get taken advantage of. I can't say I'm happy that I've discovered the fawn response. I don't ever want to catch myself in the fawn response. I'm ready to fight. I like fighting. Fighting's fun. And I look good when I'm fighting. People respect me. Fleeing, well, that's a little embarrassing, but, well, I'm pretty fast and sometimes that's to be admired. Freeze. That's a toughie. But at least I'm not going anywhere. I'm not going anywhere. You can't scare me. I can't talk right now and I'm shaking, but I'm standing right here. And then fawn, You know, you think of extreme stress. And whenever I need to think of extreme stress, I right away go to Omaha beach. D Day, June 6, 1944. Because that was a stressor for the fellas. June 6, 1944, Omaha Beach. And I see, I see what's happening there. I see some men fighting their response to this stress. Now they fight. Some freeze. Some can't move. They're terrified. They're frozen in place. Some, well, they take flight. They turn around and head back into that ocean. Many of them go back into the ocean, calling for their mothers. Many men were seen running back Toward the water, calling for their mothers. They thought they were ready for this. But how can anyone know if you're ready for this? Bunch of Germans shooting at you from a cliff, guys getting their limbs blown off all around you. Who's ready for that? So they turned around and they ran back, and they were screaming for mom. That was the flight response. And up until recently, I thought that was it. The fight, the flight, and the freeze. But there were some soldiers who had the fawn response, apparently. I'm not sure what that would look like on Omaha Beach. Sorry for not calling ahead of time. Hello.
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C
Hi.
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B
Apologies for the violence. I'm not actually a part of this group. Not in my general sentiments nor my overall mood, frankly. I'm kind of feeling like, can we all get along? Ha ha ha. These boys are in fight response right now. Well, some are. Some are in flight. You see those guys there? Yep. They're swimming back toward the amphibian landing craft. Some are in freeze response. They're making it unnecessarily easy for you Jerry's to pick them off. I don't like that I'm in a far less talked about state. I'm having what's called the fawn response. It's more of a. Hey, nice beach you have here. Sorry if I'm stepping on any starfish. Just want to say, if I'm in your way, my apologies. Shoot around me best you can. I'm here mostly to admire your military acumen. You guys are no slouches, I'll tell you that. And I just want to comment on your helmets. I've always admired the way your helmets go back over the neck area. That intrigues me. You made them so differently. You have that drop in the back. It sets you apart from all the other guys. You were really into neck protection. I bet you fellas have pristine necks. We don't. Our guys apparently don't care about getting hit in the neck for some reason. Oh, you just shot me in the chest. Ouch. Sorry for being in the way of your bullet. You probably wanted that bullet going somewhere else. Here, Let me fall over and expire so you can get a clear shot at whatever you were actually aiming at. Sorry to die on your beach. Can't seem to crawl to any other spot right now. I'm on my last breath. No one ever admits to having the fawn response. I bet. Doug, do you admit to it? I was chased by a bear on a hike in Glacier National Park. It was positively terrifying. It was a grizzly. A grizzly bear. I was in fight or flight mode. I tell you, D. I saw you. You were not in fight or flight. Yeah, I meant freeze. I mean I was in freeze mode. I just stood there. D, you were fawning. You were fawning all over that bear. You were asking if it wanted some berries. You were running to get it some salmon from the river. You were offering to pick bugs out of its fur to groom it. It was just creepy. Doug, you saw that? Course I saw that. I didn't know you knew about the fawn response. Yeah, you don't want anyone to know about your fawn response, Doug. That was flat out embarrassing to watch. Remember when you got mugged in New York City and you gave that mugger a shoulder massage? What the heck was that, Doug? Well, what did you do, Roger? I was in freeze mode. I froze. Oh, that's not terribly impressive. I wasn't running. You didn't see me running like a scared child. But you, Doug, you offered to help the fella feel more relaxed with a neck massage. How pathetic. Shut up, Roger. It's one of the responses available. Fight, flight, freeze, or fawn. They're all equal. Are they really equal, Doug? Cause I watched you talk to that mugger. You said, oh, let me help you. You have a little schmutz on your lapel. Here, let me lick that off for you. You cleaned his lapel, you freak. Well, Tim ran. I saw him running. That's. That's kind of chicken. Yeah. You'll notice Tim still has his wallet, too. Okay, you and I do not. So don't be so quick to beat up on Tim. You, however, have to retell this story for the rest of your life to people who will absolutely be embarrassed for you. Well, I'm not going to tell it the way you tell it, Roger. I'm going to change the fight, flight, freeze, or fawn response to fight, flight, freeze or forget. And I forgot. I'll tell people I have no idea what I did. I was in Forget response. That's right. I don't remember what happened. Can't recall a damn thing. It's a common reaction. One of the four Fs. Mm. No, no. If you're gonna add a new F, you add flake, because that's what you did. You flaked. Fight, freeze, flee, or flake. You flaked, Doug. A flea and a fly and a flu were trapped. Didn't know what to do, said the flea. Let's fly, said the fly. Let's flee. We can flee through a flaw in the flu what did you do? Fight, flight, freeze or fawn? Did you know about all four of those already? I did not. The Minneapolis St. Paul Plumbing, Heating, Air and Electric contest is over. I'll be letting you know who won in that contest. The thousands of dollars of electrical work or the whole home electrical evaluations? I'll let you know as soon as I know what I'm offering. Now here in the month of June is a special that's only for Mishki listeners. If you want your AC tuned up, $49 is all it costs. If you mention my name, it's really phenomenal. I decided to call the other heating and air conditioning operations in town, not identify myself and just ask for an AC tune up, one of the big ones in town. And you know these names. One of the big ones in town said, yeah, we'll tune up your AC for 199 bucks. Another one said, it's 150, but we have a 35 coupon that'll knock it down to 115. We'll tune up your AC for 115. Hey, thanks. Mention Mishke and get your AC tuned up for only $49. And have AC all summer long. There's nothing quite as depressing as a hot and humid 94 degree day. And your AC has gone out because you never bothered to get it tuned up for the season. Call MSP, Minneapolis St. Paul Plumbing, Heating Air and Electric. Mention Mishky. I want to talk to you about something that quietly disappeared. And most people out there just accept it. Remember when your bank knew you? Maybe a lot of you don't, but that's the way it used to be. It was called your neighborhood bank. They knew you. Not your credit score, you. Not your account number, you. When you walked in, they recognized your face. They knew your situation. They treated you like a neighbor instead of a transaction. That's not nostalgia necessarily. That's North American Banking Company today. Six Twin Cities locations. And they have never stopped doing it that neighborly way. Checking, savings, home loans, business loans, all of it handled by people who live here, work here, actually give a damn about what happens here. You're not getting routed to a call center. You're not waiting on a form that got sent to some other office out of state. You're talking to a human being who can look you in the eye and make a decision based on knowing your business, knowing your neighborhood, knowing your situation. I'm not telling you to switch to North American Banking Company because of some rate. I'm telling you to switch because you Deserve a bank that knows you and cares about you. North American Banking Company. Six Twin Cities locations. The old way of banking, which I'd argue was always the better way. Member fdic. Equal Housing Lender. All right, let's go to the list. List and randomly contact one of the listeners out there. Should we spin the big wheel or should we try another way of coming up with a listener name? We could try this gadget. I got this at a garage sale. This is one way of coming up with a name. Haven't tried this yet. This works. Who do we have? Robert. Robert. We'll call robert. We'll tell him it's charlie from the old rock em sock em boys.
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D
Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.
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B
This is Charlie with the Rock Em Sock Em Boys.
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D
Thanks, Charlie. Please stay on the line.
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C
Robert.
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B
Hey, Robert.
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C
Yeah, who's it?
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B
This is Charlie with the. Oh, Rock Em Sock Em Boys.
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C
Okay.
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B
Robert hung up. I thought for sure he'd look at who's calling. It would say KSTP on the caller id. And that combined with that voice, you'd think he'd realize that's Mishke. Nope, he hung up. Maybe we'll try him again.
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D
Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.
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B
This is old Ted Conroy, principal of Roberts High School. Just reconnecting after many years.
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D
Thanks. Please stay on the line.
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B
Well, I don't fully understand this way of calling here, but it seems like he disconnected rather than answer. He's clearly not up for talking to me or whoever he thinks this freak is foreign.
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D
Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.
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B
This is Nancy and the pregnancy test is positive.
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D
Thanks. Please stay on the line. Hi, if you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.
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B
I'm Robert's best friend from kindergarten. We wet our pants together.
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D
Thanks. Please stay on the line.
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C
If you record your name and reason for calling, I'll see if this person is available.
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B
It's crazy Billy from the old plastics factory.
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C
Please stay on the line.
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B
Hello, Jim, please.
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C
Yeah, this is Jim.
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B
Yeah, hi, Jim. This is Steve Worden from Menards.
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C
You left your credit card here at Menards.
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B
Yes, we have your credit card. Okay, would you like to pick it up or how do you want to get it?
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C
Is this Minish key? Yeah, that's what I thought.
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B
Well, you didn't think it right away.
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C
Well, I Was wondering why you do this.
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B
Do what?
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C
Well, did the Menards thing.
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B
There's the traditional way of handling things,
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C
and then there's Misky way.
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B
Yeah.
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C
So how you doing?
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B
Well, I'm good. The cacophony in the background makes me want to take out an M16 and
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C
perhaps I'm at Cowboy Jacks in Bloomington.
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B
Cowboy Jack's, huh? You can't get out of there momentarily into the nice open air?
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C
Let me walk into the parking lot. Hang on.
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B
Jim, you're not any relation to Mike Lynn, the old Vikings gm, are you?
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C
No, no, but Mike's actually my middle name. My family always calls me Mike.
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B
Really? You get called Mike Lynn?
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C
Yeah.
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B
You know, you get called Mike Lin, and someone makes the mistake of thinking you're the Vikings. Mike Lynn, you could be murdered, beaten to death just because of the Herschel Walker trade.
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C
You know what? Most people aren't that old. They don't remember that.
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B
Jim, what's your entire life story? In a NutShell?
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C
Family of eight kids. Dad was an alcoholic. He'd have a job, and every two years he'd lose it. We'd have to move. I ended up going to Milwaukee School of Engineering in Milwaukee, obviously. And now I'm 71. I'm working part time at Kowalski and fixing whatever I can fix.
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B
Big Catholic Irish family.
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C
That's it. Yep. Then I married my wife, who's from a family of seven Catholic Irish families.
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B
And did you guys have a dozen kids yourself?
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C
We had three. One we gave up for adopting. Because when I met my wife, she was 15 and I was 18, and her parents didn't like me. We got pregnant, and then they didn't want us to really have the baby. We gave up the son for adoption. Then we had two daughters after that. We stayed together. We've been together for 50 years.
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B
50 years. Did the boy you gave up for adoption ever come looking for you?
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C
Oh, yeah. He found us when he was 21, and now he's going to be 50.
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B
Did you guys end up having a relationship?
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C
He's got some mental illness issues. He just showed up a couple weeks ago, and he was saying my wife's not really his first mom and that he has a twin somewhere. And we're like, okay.
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B
Did you ever speak to his adoptive parents?
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C
We met them the first time he got married. They're great people. And he said he cut them off because he didn't like something about what they said.
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B
And your two daughters, I'm sure, are just fine.
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C
Well, the one had issues, too. She was Diagnosed as bipolar. She had a baby and we ended up raising the baby. And she died at 30 because of the multiple medications she took. And she added a little heroin on top of it.
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B
Boy, that's quite a lot of trauma in your life.
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C
Yeah.
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B
Alcoholic father had to give up a kid for adoption. Kid finds you later, but now he's got all sorts of mental issues. Then your daughter's bipolar and she passes away and you raise her kid. How's the other daughter?
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C
The other daughter's super. She's got a pair of twins that are 10 years old. The girl we raised is now 25. She got a full ride scholarship to the U. She had some issues as far as didn't understand what was happening. Where was her mom? She knew her mom, but she didn't have her mom kind of deal. And her dad floated in and out, now disappeared totally.
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B
Does she consider you her grandparents and kind of parents?
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C
The last time she introduced us to her boyfriend's parents, she called us her parents. We had her. Some sympathy, you know, since she was born. My daughter lived with us for a little bit once she had the kid and then she went off with her friends and never came back.
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B
Do you have a general philosophy that carries you through all of this? It's quite a morass of struggle and
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C
you just keep moving on.
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B
What did your wife do with her life?
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C
My wife's a hairdresser. She still works full time.
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B
I wonder if I should go have your wife cut my hair.
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C
You got some? I don't have any.
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B
Yeah, I still have my hair.
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C
We seen your picture. Had my wife listen to one of your podcasts. She likes you, but she's like that face doesn't match the voice.
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B
Why do people get obsessed about that? That's why I would prefer no one ever see the face. It just ruins it for him. Yeah, kind of sad. What did she want me to look like?
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C
The Marlboro Man.
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B
That's who she wanted me to look like. The Marlboro Man.
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C
You remember him?
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B
Oh, yeah. There were several of them. A lot of them died of cancer. I get the general idea.
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C
For me, I think your voice doesn't fit the Marlboro man either.
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B
Well, no, I don't think it does at all.
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C
I think Pee Wee Herman.
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B
Quite a gap between the Pee Wee Herman look and the Marlboro Man. Enormous gap.
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C
You get this question a lot. Do you have other names thrown out there?
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B
Some people want me to look like Carol Burnett, which is odd.
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C
She's funny.
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B
Well, she's funny, but she has breasts.
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C
Yeah.
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B
So I'm some kind of cross between the Marlboro man and. And Pee Wee Herman.
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C
Yeah.
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B
What would that be? He tracks an animal for three days across brutal terrain, but the animal turns out to be a butterfly. He's been riding west his whole life. Thinks he's making progress, but the map in his saddlebag is from a cereal box. Walks into a saloon, but he orders a root beer. He's a man out of place in every world. Too weird for the West. Too rugged for the playhouse. Cowboys won't ride with him because he wears makeup. Kids won't play with him because he smells like cigarettes. He's incredibly rugged and oddly delicate. Lives by a code, but the code is. I know you are, but what am I? Anything you want to do before you're dead. Anything left on your list?
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C
Maybe go to Greece.
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B
Greece?
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C
I've been to Italy. I've been to France. I've been to London.
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B
What is your wife's dream? If you could make her dream come true before she dies, what would it be?
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C
You know, I don't even know. I should ask her.
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B
Yeah. Would you mind going in there and asking her? If you could make a dream of hers come true between now and her death, what would it be?
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C
Hang on, let me ask her. Still there?
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B
Yeah, I am.
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C
She says she just wants to grow old together with me.
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B
Wow. Her dream, her only dream in the years you have left, is just to grow old with you. I'm gonna let you get back to that wonderful woman. I appreciate your time.
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C
It's been interesting.
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B
Thanks again for talking to me, Jim.
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C
All right, we'll talk to you later. At least I'll listen to you later.
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B
Okay, Sounds great, Jim. So long.
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C
Bye.
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B
My daddy. Oh, he drank too much. We had to move from place to place. With seven brothers and sisters. I felt I was taking up too much space. I met a gal. She was just 15. She got pregnant and we had a kid. And the folks said, give it away, you too. So that's just what we did. I married that girl. We had two more, but one of our daughters died. But not before she had a kid. We raised it while we cried. Now I'm old. My teenage bride's been with me 50 years. And life remains a funny mix of smiles, sweat and tears. She cuts hair and I work part time fixing things inside a store. We don't have any kids living with us no more. I asked her to tell me her dream today before these lives are through. And she said to me, My dream, sweetheart, is just to grow old with you.
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C
Foreign.
- [34:08]
B
Motors has been selling cars since JFK was sitting in the Oval Office. Let that sink in. That's grandparents and grandchildren. That's families who bought their first car there, then bringing back their kids to buy their cars. That's 63 years of the Twin Cities trusting one name. Fury. Here's what I've noticed about places that last that long. They don't survive by pushing people into the wrong car. They survive by listening, by figuring out what you need, what fits your life, what fits your budget, what fits your situation, what do you want? And then helping you find it. New or used, doesn't matter. Fury solves problems for people. They have four locations to make it convenient for you. Waconia, Forest, lake, Stillwater, South St. Paul. Fury Motors, be the next generation. I want to tell you about a place you may not know exists. It's not a nursing home. It's not an assisted living facility. The well Shire does one thing. Memory care. That's it. That's all their staff trains for, thinks about, shows up for every single day. And because of this focus, something remarkable happens. There's a town square environment there that's breathtaking. There are gardens you can actually walk through, balconies where the sun finds you in the afternoon. There's live music, there's conversation, there's laughter, real laughter on a Tuesday afternoon. The people who live there, people living with Alzheimer's with dementia, they don't feel like patients. They feel like neighbors. The staff does too. If someone you love needs memory care, go tour the well Shire. Walk the halls. Sit in that town square for a few minutes. You'll walk in expecting some institution and you won't find one. You'll find home. Wellshire Memory Care, Bloomington and Medina. When I made that last call to Jim, I mentioned that he had left his credit card at Menards, which he had not done. And I was not an employee of Menards. So those were lies. But this is the truth. I was in Menards recently and there's a gigantic sign up now, a new section that they have, a new feature. I'm not a hundred percent sure it's a great idea, but what do I know? The Menards folk seem to know how to make a lot of money. America's largest hardware store. Well, I came upon at Menards their new health and beauty section. That's right. Have you folks been making have you folks been making regular visits to the Menards health and beauty section? Hey, Connie. Are you and Marie heading to Menards for a health And Beauty getaway. We sure are. We're leaving now. Saturdays are busy at Menards, but we don't care. We're gonna spend the whole day there. Maria's gonna get skin cream that doubles as paint thinner. And I'm having a clay mask applied to my face using moistened concrete mortar. Oh, and Doug in plumbing is gonna give us both an enema. Mmm. Nothing like Health and Beauty day at Menards. I'll tell you what. Hi, I'm Doug from the plumbing department here in Menards. They just shifted me over to Health and Beauty on Ladies Day. That's where you'll find me offering our famous 11% rebate on enemas. Colon hydrotherapy has been popular at Menards ever since we shrunk our plumbing section and gave half of it over to Health and Beauty. Now I can offer sodium phosphate enemas to the ladies while their husbands peruse the circular saws. Or check out the lumber yard. All the ladies know me. I'm Doug the enema guy. Save big money at Menards and save yourself constipation issues by visiting me, Doug, this Saturday. My enemas are safe, clean, comfortable, and fun. All the ladies say so. Right, Denise? That's right, Doug. I combine enemas with my gardening day. It's a perfect weekend mix of health and wholesome outdoor activity. Remember, Doug, when your hose broke and you had to use a backhoe on me? Oh, yes, I do, Denise. That was a crazy day. Fortunately, Virgil was there to show me how to work the damn thing. Oh, you worked it, Doug. I remember asking, is that how you got your name? I want to give you guys some good news and some bad news. There's no need to worry about health and beauty anymore. That would be your good news. Your bad news is the reason why there's no need to worry about it. Well, the world's gonna end. That's why. Is that the last thing you want to be doing? Worrying about health and beauty? Tom, this is Doug. I sure hope the ladies still come around on Saturdays. I don't think they'll be coming around once they learn that one of Earth's most dangerous climate patterns is waking up again. Scientists are warning people that a powerful El Nino could develop this year, yet potentially becoming one of the strongest events ever recorded in history. Some climate models currently are showing conditions that rival or even exceed the extreme El nino event of 1877. Do you remember that one? A lot of you guys probably don't. Most of you weren't alive in 1877. But that was 12 years after the civil war. For those of you who might remember it, El Nino starts when unusually warm water spreads across the equatorial Pacific. That heat doesn't stay in the ocean. It disrupts atmospheric circulation around the planet. It alters rainfall, drought patterns, storms, temperatures. The effects can be absolutely devastating. Historically, strong El Nino events have triggered crop failures, deadly heat waves, severe drought, catastrophic floods, the collapse of fisheries across multiple continents all at once. During that extreme 1877 event, drought and famine contributed to tens of millions of deaths worldwide. And that was way back in 1877. Today, scientists fear the consequences will be further, far more severe, because there are so many more people on this planet, and the planet is starting from a hotter baseline. Global ocean temperatures have remained unusually warm for months of late. Many regions are already struggling with water shortages, with extreme heat, with climate driven disasters. A major El Nino layered on top of that will amplify conditions even further, pushing some ecosystems and infrastructure systems past their limit. What I am trying to say to you people is it is over. So just forget about those diet concerns and that new finding on the dangers of alcohol. Live free and live well, people. You have maybe a year tops left. Always wanted to take up smoking. Now's the time. And that feud you're having with your sister. Call her up and just say how silly it all is, given the end of life on this planet as we know it. Tell her if it will make her feel any better, it was your fault. Then buy her a Harvey Wall banger and just get stewed. Have your arm around her as it all goes to hell. Tell your Uncle Kenny you're sorry you broke his chainsaw. It has caused a rift in the family and it's time to mend this fence. Mend it now. Mend it quickly. Drop off a case of beer at Kenny's place. Tell him you'd buy him a new chainsaw, but there won't be enough time to ever use it. And tell your ma and PA that you lied about eloping. You and Nancy never did tie the knot. You made that up. You just wanted to appease them. Then have them over for dinner and maybe have a minister there and make it official. What's it matter now? Tie the knot. Make your folks happy. Let's go, people. Time's a wasting. The guy at the repair shop you were kind of mean to because you were having a bad day and had a short fuse. You call him up and say you're sorry. That pal you lost touch with after college, the one you thought you'd stay Best friends with for life. Let him know that you have followed him on social media all these years and you regret not actually reaching out. Come on everyone, let's get to it. It's almost over. How much time do we have anyway? Do I have time to make one more phone call? Let's kick this machine into high gear and see if we can make one more phone call. I love this new machine. Oh, oh. A female came up. A woman's name. Gail. Oh, my last call before it's all over.
- [44:54]
C
If you record your name and reason for calling.
- [44:56]
B
Oh no, not this again. It's Mishke.
- [45:00]
C
Thanks, Mischi. Please stay on the line.
- [45:09]
E
Hello, this is Gail.
- [45:10]
B
Well, hello there, Gail.
- [45:12]
E
I'm sorry. Hello?
- [45:13]
B
No need to apologize. People apologize way too much these days for doing nothing wrong.
- [45:20]
E
Is this Mr. Misky?
- [45:22]
B
It is.
- [45:23]
E
Hello.
- [45:24]
B
What am I catching you doing?
- [45:26]
E
Making dinner.
- [45:27]
B
What are we having?
- [45:29]
E
Parmesan crusted chicken and some carrots and a little pasta.
- [45:35]
B
Maybe a glass of wine?
- [45:37]
E
No wine. You know what? I'm going to share too much information with you. Having a colonoscopy in a couple days, so no alcohol.
- [45:46]
B
You're going to be having a lot more fun than you think you will be. I guarantee it. The drugs they use now make it so. Such a lovely experience. People call me crazy, but I. I just enjoy the drug so much that afterward I just say to myself, when can I have my next one? And I'm quite serious about that.
- [46:05]
E
Do you really?
- [46:07]
B
I just have the most delightful sensations following. And I just think the world's a beautiful place and people are loving and I just can't wait to get back there.
- [46:16]
E
You're not recording me yet, are you?
- [46:20]
B
The last thing I would ever record is that you're about to get a colonoscopy. What did you do with your life, Gail?
- [46:30]
E
I went to school. Music school. To become a record producer. I wanted to be like a big time record producer. I was one of two women in my class. And I graduated and I worked in the production industry for a few years, making zero money. And now I work for an insurance agency.
- [46:53]
B
Boy, it's so sad to me that it's hard to realize your dream, but easy as hell to go work in a job you don't like that much.
- [47:04]
E
I actually like my job. It's pretty good. I've been with my company for 17 years.
- [47:11]
B
I need to learn to like the insurance business somehow. I don't know how to do that. But I want to. I want to envy you.
- [47:19]
E
We do have a lot of fun. There's a lot of drinking.
- [47:23]
B
Now you're reminding me of the guy I interviewed who worked the evisceration room at a turkey processing plant. I asked him what he liked about his job, and he said, the people. When a job is absolute horror, it's nice to look around you and see some folks who you enjoy.
- [47:41]
E
I would not call insurance horror.
- [47:43]
B
I was talking about eviscerating. He was vacuuming out the entrails of turkeys.
- [47:48]
E
That sounds horrific. I will agree with you on that.
- [47:51]
B
But the people at this plant, really fun. After work, they'd go to a local bar and they'd look at each other and say, this is why we do it. Because at the end of a day, we get to enjoy each other's company at happy hour. And by golly, that makes life worth living. And the next day, they'd go back to vacuuming out the entrails out of a recently killed turkey. I don't want to connect that to your colonoscopy, but it is interesting how they are similar in a way in that the doctor doing your colonoscopy also must say, well, at least there's happy hour with the nurses.
- [48:24]
E
Yeah, who wants to do that for a living?
- [48:27]
B
Oddly, there are people, because unlike a lot of countries where you're forced to do certain jobs, you can freely choose to do colonoscopies. And I think in med school, there are some other boxes you can check if you don't want to go down the colonoscopy road. I had a woman who for years handled all my colonoscopies. She was a very fun, loving woman. She was asked to join the crew at the Mayo and turned them down. She was a smart lady, and she was quite funny. You know what she said to me one time? I probably shouldn't repeat this, but this is the kind of fun that she was. I needed both a colonoscopy and an endoscopy at one point.
- [49:11]
E
Yup.
- [49:12]
B
For the endoscopy, they went down my throat to look in my stomach. And they did that first. They did that the night before the colonoscopy, and she gave me a whole bunch of drugs. She said, you're gonna be so drugged up, you won't even have a gag reflex. So when I shove this thing down your throat, you won't even flinch. It'll be fine. So I'm gonna shove this thing down your throat now. Don't worry about it. And she shoved this thing down my throat, and I gagged horribly. It was just like I hadn't been given any drugs. And she said, 45 year old woman, professional, a doctor, she says, oh my God, I don't know how any man can possibly be gay. Oh my. Okay. Yeah. And then she said to me, tomorrow, when you get your colonoscopy, tell them you need double the drugs. You have a really, really, really high tolerance for drugs. And I did the next day. And so you know what happened? They doubled up the dose. And that's why the world was beautiful and people were loving and. And I thought the sun was the most sacred thing ever to cross my path. And every colonoscopy after that, I said, double it up, double it up. My doc said, you gotta double it up.
- [50:40]
E
Maybe I need to ask to double it up.
- [50:42]
B
Yeah, double it up on Thursday. No downside. You know what fascinates me? What you wanted to do for a living in the music industry, what was that about? I've never heard of anybody wanting to pursue that. I've known many people who want to become rock stars. I've not heard of someone who wants to be in production. What was that about?
- [50:59]
E
I do not have a lick of musical talent, cannot play any instruments to save my life. I cannot sing. But I have an ear. I was told this by a couple of different teachers and musicians that I have an ear, which just means I can hear things in music. Like that drum doesn't sound right, so we need to tweak it a little bit or your vocals need to come up in the mix. It's just an ear for music and wanting to help the bands get the best sounds they can. I wanted to do that because I watched people in studios do it. And I did do live music. You know, we were running those monitors and soundboards out front. It was really cool because I couldn't play any instruments. I couldn't be a rock star. But I'm going to make the rock star sound good because I love music so much.
- [51:52]
B
And it is strangely, and I don't know why, but the industry that you were wanting to be a part of, that part of the industry, I should say heavily male dominated.
- [52:03]
E
Absolutely. Yep. Like I said, I was one of two women in my class and it is very heavily male dominated.
- [52:11]
B
I don't know what that's about. I don't know why that is. It's music. What does that have to do with gender?
- [52:17]
E
It's a very good question. I can't even think of any really well known female record producers other than the artists themselves. Like a Taylor Swift will produce her Own record.
- [52:29]
B
So in your life, listening to music, what singer has most had you believing you were listening to the words of God translated. I mean, you were listening to some absolutely powerful stuff that was soul shaking for you.
- [52:46]
E
I get made fun of a lot for saying this, but I have three favorite singers. 3. Steve Perry of Journey, Voice of an Angel, Jeff Tate, former lead singer of Queens Reich. Magical. And George Michael. There was so much passion in George Michael when he sang, and his vocals were just magnificent.
- [53:14]
B
Interesting. You know where I learned to appreciate Steve Perry? And I don't know why it took this, but it did take this. It was watching that documentary on the making of We Are the World.
- [53:26]
E
Okay. That whole segment where it's like, Kenny Loggins, Steve Perry, Daryl Hall. It's the best part of the whole record.
- [53:34]
B
You're watching all these incredible singers gather overnight and take turns singing. So you're getting to hear all these great singers one after another after another after another after another. And Steve Perry steps in front of the microphone. And because you have heard all these great voices, the idea that someone's going to blow them out of the water doesn't seem possible. But when he starts to sing, you say, oh, my. It's quite startling to me. I, prior to that, would have spent zero minutes listening to that guy. Really had no interest in him at all. Had no interest. And then I watched that and I said, wow, there is a voice.
- [54:18]
E
Oh, you're giving me goosebumps. I love this. I love that you're sharing this with me.
- [54:24]
B
But there have been no times that I can think of where I really understood the great talent of George Michael. I feel I need to have you show me the magic there.
- [54:36]
E
I think people get hung up on his Wham days when he was bubblegum pop.
- [54:41]
B
Yeah.
- [54:42]
E
You have to dig a little deeper into, like, the tracks in his albums.
- [54:47]
B
Okay.
- [54:47]
E
That weren't necessarily big hits.
- [54:50]
B
Are you married?
- [54:51]
E
I am not. I have a boyfriend of four years, and I am absolutely madly in love with him.
- [54:59]
B
Were you ever married?
- [55:01]
D
Never.
- [55:02]
E
Never married and no children.
- [55:03]
B
What age were you four years ago?
- [55:06]
E
49.
- [55:07]
B
You don't sound like the kind of woman who would go 30 years without marrying.
- [55:13]
E
Nobody ever came along that made me say, I want to spend my life with this guy.
- [55:19]
B
Nobody.
- [55:20]
E
Nobody. You know, I was very shy in my younger years, and then I went through horrible, horrible dating, online dating, blind dating, all the dating, and that was just awful. And I was about to give up when Dave and I matched on a dating app and I'm like, all right, I'LL just give this guy a chance because what have I got to lose anymore? But I'm not renewing. And our first date was pretty darn good. And our second date was awesome because he asked me to go see the wizard of Oz at the Heights theater. And I thought, that's pretty cool. I'm going to do that with this guy. He told me I had to tell you about this when you called, if you ever called. One thing that I got Dave into is I volunteer for the wildcat sanctuary in sandstone. We have 150 cats up there.
- [56:17]
B
What are they doing in Minnesota?
- [56:19]
E
They're living their best life. Is right now what they're doing.
- [56:22]
B
Where did they come from?
- [56:24]
E
Roadside zoos. Those roadside zoos were. Come pet a lion cub and get your picture taken. We have four cats that came from the tiger king. Idiot, I call him. We rescued four cats when his zoo was finally shut down. We rescued four cubs from Ukraine when the war broke out there. And three cubs were left in a duffel bag on the train station platform.
- [56:49]
B
Man. Where else have they come from?
- [56:52]
E
Argentina. Some zoos from Argentina, they didn't want these animals anymore because they're not native to that land. Sadly, most of them probably come from awful zoos and humans who think that it's really cool to own a lion cub and a tiger cub. And then when they grow up and they're £400, they can't handle them anymore. I get socialized with the cats, which means cats that have come from a horrible, horrible environment and are not really used to humans. I read to them, I sing to them and just have conversations with them to get them used to seeing humans are not all so horrible.
- [57:35]
B
That's extraordinary.
- [57:37]
E
It really is. It's so cool.
- [57:41]
B
Well, I'm gonna let you. I'm gonna let you have your meal time. I'm sorry to keep you from it. I'm always thrilled when I can make a phone call and hear a woman's voice because it's about 95% men. So thanks so much for making yourself available.
- [57:57]
E
I am honored to be a part of this. It's been an absolute pleasure and I wish you a wonderful evening.
- [58:03]
B
Thanks so much, YouTube.
- [58:04]
E
Bye.