MISCHKE: The Manosphere (ep. 129)

Summary

Garage Logic: MISCHKE: The Manosphere (Ep. 129) – July 17, 2026
Host: Gamut Podcast Network
Summary prepared by Podcast Summarizer

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Episode Overview

This episode of Garage Logic explores the cultural phenomenon known as the "manosphere," delving into online masculinity trends, middle-aged male anxieties, shifting marriage norms, and nostalgic looks at vanishing American institutions like dive bars. Host Mishke, joined by co-host Tommy and caller Steve a.k.a. "The Bucket," balances satirical storytelling, social commentary, and genuine conversation, all delivered with typical Midwestern humor and philosophical tangents.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. What is the Manosphere? (03:43–06:47)

• Mishke and Tommy introduce listeners to the concept of the "manosphere," an umbrella term for the network of online communities focused on men’s issues—ranging from self-improvement and fitness to men’s rights activism, pick-up artistry, and even communities advocating complete disengagement from relationships with women.
  • Tommy: "I don’t know if you women see it. Do you women see the manosphere out there?" (04:22)
  • Satirical breakdown of incels and "celibate but not by choice" men, with quips about parental warnings and adolescent perceptions.
• The discussion highlights the “hot span” pressure: aging men feeling increasingly compelled to look young and fit, not just for vanity but for continued relevance in a tech-driven, youth-obsessed job market.
  • Tommy: "Midlife men face pressure to extend their hot span." (06:25)

2. The Obsession with "Hot Span" (06:47–10:57)

• Midlife men are flocking to gyms, pursuing ripped physiques, and even using AI headshots to appear more youthful on professional platforms.
• The hosts poke fun at the futility and societal superficiality of the "hot span" fixation.
  • Tommy: "You gotta move fast, you gotta sound young, you gotta look like you're on fire and you gotta be ripped and you gotta be jacked." (08:52)
  • Roleplay and sketch humor about dying while being "ripped," parodying gym culture and body image obsession.
  • Launch into a fictional gym ad for the "ashen, haggard, sickly" look, satirizing fitness trends.

3. The Rise of "Empty Shell Marriages" and Gray Divorce (12:19–16:33)

• Transition into changing norms of marriage among older adults, referencing rising "gray divorce" rates and the new phrase "empty shell marriage."
• Cites expert Rebecca Thurston: "Menopause is not just about losing estrogen, it's about losing tolerance." (13:01)
• Satirical dialogue where a couple renews cynical vows, highlighting marital malaise and the search for post-career meaning.
  • Mishki (as Marie): "I, Marie, feel vacant and adrift. And I promise to maintain this horror show till the fates strip down from my side." (15:52)

4. "The Bucket" Calls In: Life, Nicknames, & Marital Journeys (22:03–43:46)

Introduction to "The Bucket"

• Caller Steve, nicknamed "The Bucket," shares the convoluted origin of his name, involving grade school teasing: "Big Steve, Little O. Go with O. Minnow. And again, I don't have any idea why he came up with that..." (24:23)
• Mishke and Tommy riff hilariously on the value of emptiness, referencing Taoism:
  • Tommy: "With the bucket, the most important part is the empty space." (26:51)

Steve’s Marital History

• Steve describes three marriages, two divorces, and a third, long-term relationship culminating in marriage at age 65.
  • Candidly recounts failed relationships: "I was a rescuer. And she needed rescuing. So I was gonna rescue her, and she was gonna love me because I rescued her. It's bad stuff, Tommy." (28:50)
  • Comic asides about "marriage as a shell," the perils of late marriages, and whether living together ruins or sustains longstanding couples.
  • The proposal: after 19 years together, Steve proposed on a small island and his now-wife replied: "Are you kidding me?" (39:07)
• Both introspective and light-hearted about commitment, therapy, and the realities of midlife relationships.

Work, Life, and Philosophical Musings

• Steve’s career in sales and his wife’s work in relationship marketing are discussed, with tongue-in-cheek jabs:
  • Tommy: "When guys say they’re in sales, it always intrigues me because they just say the nebulous word sales." (36:17)
• The future: Steve and his wife plan to sell everything and embark on post-retirement international travels, a "global walkabout."
  • Steve: "Sell everything we got, sell the house, sell all the goods and just kind of go on a global walkabout, so to speak." (42:20)
• Touchingly, Steve funded his daughters’ travel adventures, reinforcing family connections and the theme of self-discovery.

5. Dive Bars: An American Institution in Decline (45:12–End)

• Mishke closes with a nostalgic reflection on the disappearance of authentic dive bars in America.
• Dive bar criteria: cheap beer and a scary bathroom.
  • Historical tidbits about the origin of the term "dive," the basement setting, and how early regulars would "pull from the barrel."
  • Tommy: "If the dive bars do disappear altogether from this country, would you people out there do me a favor and at least maintain one bathroom in your house that you can call scary? Just in honor of the dive bar..." (47:04)
• Concludes with a poetic tribute to the camaraderie and community spirit of dive bars, positioning them as a poor man’s "Statue of Liberty."

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Tommy (on skipped relationships): "If you told me when I was born... the big move is going to be to disengage from relationships with women... could you send me back up that birth canal?" (05:05)
• Mishki (on marriages): "Marriage has become a shell." (16:33)
• Steve aka The Bucket (on the importance of bucket emptiness): "Oh. Because it can be filled." (26:56)
• Steve aka The Bucket (about his proposal): "I think it's time we make this happen. Will you marry me?... She said, are you kidding me?" (39:07)
• Tommy (on the disappearing dive bar): "If the dive bars do disappear altogether from this country, would you people out there do me a favor and at least maintain one bathroom in your house that you can call scary? Just in honor of the dive bar..." (47:04)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• 03:43–06:47: What is the Manosphere? Definitions and breakdown.
• 06:47–10:57: Hot Span pressure and the absurdity of aging fitness trends.
• 12:19–16:33: Gray divorce, menopause, and "shell marriages."
• 22:03–43:46: Extended, humorous, and philosophical caller segment with Steve aka The Bucket (romantic history, therapy, work, retirement plans).
• 45:12–End: Nostalgic dive bar monologue, cultural history, poetic conclusion.

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Tone and Overall Vibe

True to Garage Logic’s style, the episode blends satire, philosophical musings, and Midwestern cultural commentary. The hosts balance self-deprecation, thoughtful reflection, and outrageous sketch comedy, all while poking gentle fun at themselves and their guests. The show’s tone is conversational, nostalgic, and sprinkled with dry humor and quirky observations on the oddities of modern American masculinity and aging.

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For more:
Contact Mishki at [e-mail] or call 651-321-8949.

Transcript

[Tommy]

As technology becomes more complex, cyber reality dominates the culture and AI becomes an endless anxious discussion. Simple old human storytelling becomes all the more precious. And that's what you'll find on the Mishky podcast. In the end, we're all just people. Folks with our brilliance and our absurdities and stories about people. Well, they never get old. The Mishke Podcast Wherever you get your podcasts,

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[Tommy]

Welcome all of you.

[Mishki]

Joining me from the manosphere.

[Tommy]

There wasn't a manosphere when I was young.

[Mishki]

I missed out on all that. So what a thrill to have the manosphere with me today. My name's Mishki. I think you can tell we're gonna have some fun today. Oh yeah, we need it. We need some fun in this world. You know what the world's missing? I don't know if you've stepped out front door recently, but the world's missing some fun. Real fun. Coming at you now from the bleak baron tarmac of University Avenue, ensconced in that little studio I like to call the old outpost. This is your 17th favorite podcast of all time. Of all time. I'm number 17. What are the first 16 anyway? Are they really that good? Hey, I hear they are. I hear they're real good. I'm pretty good. Alright.

[Tommy]

Welcome, ladies and gentlemen. Good to have you here with me.

[Mishki]

Let's have a ball.

[Tommy]

Let's have a ball. Where did that phrase come from?

[Mishki]

Let me look that up.

[Tommy]

It should be obvious. I mean, I know what a ball is. A fancy ball. And sure enough, there it is. Comes from ball in the sense of a formal dance party.

[Mishki]

A usage that goes all the way

[Tommy]

back to the 17th century from the

[Mishki]

French word bal, meaning to dance.

[Tommy]

But the idiom itself is American slang from the early to mid 20th century, riffing on the idea that balls were lively, festive occasions.

[Mishki]

So havin a ball became shorthand for having a fantastic time, even when no dancing is involved. Although on my show today, there is dancing involved, as in Right now. Let's go.

[Tommy]

All right, enough of that. I mentioned the manosphere Met him at the manosphere and my heart stood still Da doo run run run Da doo run run the big fella told me that his name was Bill Da doo run run run da do run run. I don't know if you people know what the manosphere is. It pops up every now and again in the news. Heck, if you live in the world of social media, it's popping up like popcorn. It's all over the place. The manosphere is everywhere. I don't know if you women see it. Do you women see the manosphere out there? The manosphere, for those of you who don't know, is an umbrella term for a loose network of online communities and forums and blogs and YouTube channels and social media accounts focused on men's issues, masculinity, grievances about gender relations. What's under that umbrella of the manosphere varies a lot in tone. In politics, you got your men's rights activists, you got your pickup artists with dating techniques and advice. You got your men out there who advocate disengaging from relationships with women altogether. Who are those men?

[Mishki]

If you told me when I was

[Tommy]

born, yeah, the big move is going to be to disengage from relationships with women altogether. I would have said, could you send me back up that birth canal? In fact, abort me disengaging from all relationships with women? There's a good life. Then there's the incels. These are my favorites. They're involuntary celibates. They're celibate, but it's not a voluntary deal. No one will have sex with them. I knew guys like that growing up. Fathers would come up to the daughters and say, yeah, never with that dude. Okay, no, you don't got to tell me, dad. I mean, my friends and I have been saying, never with that dude. Okay, good. Never with that dude. No, no, no, I hear you, Pop. Yeah, this is all in the manosphere. This giant umbrella out there. Then there's your self improvement crowd, the masculine influencers, your fitness groups, the longevity crowd. They want to live forever. They want to be ripped and jacked.

[Mishki]

That's what I want to talk about, actually, because I've been reading about guys

[Tommy]

who late in life are trying to

[Mishki]

get ripped and jacked.

[Tommy]

That's actually a dance I want to work on.

[Mishki]

Ripped in the jack. Ripped in the jacked. Ripped.

[Tommy]

Rip. Yeah, I've been reading about getting ripped and getting jacked. And here's why. This is the big story. You Ready for it. Here's the headline. Forget health span or lifespan. Midlife men face pressure to extend their hot span.

[Mishki]

All the fellas are under pressure out there.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

They are.

[Tommy]

Forget healthspan. Forget lifespan. Midlife men face pressure to extend their hot span.

[Mishki]

The span of time where they're still hot.

[Tommy]

I've never heard of a woman saying about a middle aged guy, he's hot. I've heard a few say he's not bad looking or he's kind of handsome hot. It's over, man, it's over. That's quite a high bar you're going for there.

[Mishki]

Hot.

[Tommy]

Millennial men grew up thinking they could stop worrying about looks after retirement. But something has changed again. The headlines are sure changing. Forget health span or lifespan. Middle aged men face pressure to extend their hot span. Stay hot longer. It's not just about vanity. With AI and other technologies on the verge of replacing many day to day tasks, mid career workers are facing the possibility of major shifts at the office. Job hunts in new fields. For a lot of people, a job search or life transformation brings pressure to look young, look vital. There's a real and growing cohort of people who have been displaced from a career they expected to stay in. And they're suddenly competing in a marketplace that feels younger, feels faster, and they're having to get younger and get faster. They're losing their hotness and they're realizing they gotta hang on to that because

[Mishki]

they need a job.

[Tommy]

People are using AI generated headshots on LinkedIn. A lot of these guys are heading to the gym to get jacked and ripped. This guy Pete here says, I thought when I neared retirement I could give up caring about what I look like. But no siree Bobby. It's a competitive world out there and jobs people think they're gonna hang on to, suddenly they're not hanging on to.

[Mishki]

You gotta move fast, you gotta sound

[Tommy]

young, you gotta look like you're on fire and you gotta be ripped and you gotta be jacked. So these guys are spending hours and hours and hours every week getting ripped and jacked and they're old.

[Mishki]

They are already old.

[Tommy]

What's the average life expectancy right now? 75.7 years. Average guy gets to get to 75.7 coming up. Pete, you had a good life. You can feel good about that. You had a good run. Well, I did. I did. More importantly, however, I was ripped. How's that? I was ripped. Oh yeah. You mean you were in good shape. Nope, ripped. Well, anyway, I just wanted to say

[Mishki]

you had a Good run.

[Tommy]

What a lovely family you had. And I was so impressed with how your friends have come around to say goodbye to you. That's wonderful. Have any of them mentioned that I was ripped? Pete, what's happening to you? What do you mean, what's happening? I'm dying, Bob. Well, yeah, but you're focusing on something rather trivial right now.

[Mishki]

Trivial?

[Tommy]

You obviously haven't kept up with the manosphere. Guys out there are getting jacked, and guys out there are getting ripped. And they're getting stoked, too. I read that.

[Mishki]

And they're getting stacked and chiseled.

[Tommy]

I mean, they are getting cut. Super cut. And you, Peter? Me? I'm shriveling up. I'm shriveling up and I'm dying. I'm gaunt. Gaunt. Well, Pete, knowing you, you'll make that a popular look. I'm trying.

[Mishki]

You still have time.

[Tommy]

You'll be in hospice a little while longer. Yeah, I'm working on it. Hi, I'm Pete Feldkocker of the Feldkocker Gym franchise and fitness fortress. The old look was buff, the new look, emaciated and frail. Look at me. Are you looking for a new look? I don't blame you. The old one's boring. Who needs the ripped and the jacked? The manosphere has had too long a run with that nonsense. As boomers age, the new popular appearance out there is going to be ashen, haggard, sickly. Well, at my gym, we get you there fast. Real fast. If you want that sunken, skeletal look that's all the rage these days. Come to Feld, Cocker will have you looking pale, spent and corpse like in no time. Do the ladies like that look? No, they do not. But I'll tell you who does. Vultures.

[Mishki]

Vultures. I'm Pete Feldkocker.

[Tommy]

Stop by Feld Cocker's gym someday soon, real soon, if you want to meet me.

[Mishki]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

We're celebrating the manosphere on the program today. And as these guys out there are getting older, they're deciding along with getting

[Mishki]

jacked and ripped, they're gonna, well, get divorced, too.

[Tommy]

Another headline I read this week. Older adults are no longer staying in empty shell marriages. I didn't know there were empty shell marriages. I didn't know anything about empty shell marriages. I know about a lot of different marriages. Didn't know about this one. Rates of gray divorce have risen sharply, and experts have theories as to why. Menopause is not just about losing estrogen, it's about losing tolerance, says Rebecca Thurston, associate dean for women's Health research at the University of Pittsburgh. Women out there are doing all these things. Taking care of kids, families, taking care of older parents, taking care of their partner. All of a sudden, in menopause, they ask themselves, is this really all there is? Is this it? Rebecca Thurston says, a lot of women come to me and say, I just want to get in a car and drive. I just want to leave it all behind. I want out. But your marriage. What about your marriage?

[Mishki]

You mean that empty shell?

[Tommy]

That's right, folks. Older adults are no longer staying in empty shell marriages. They want out. They want to just get in a car and drive and find somebody else. Maybe someone ripped and. And jacked. You married? Don't. Sort of. It's an empty shell marriage, I guess. A shell marriage? Yeah, we're married, but I feel absolutely nothing for her, and she pretends I don't exist. Really? How's the love making?

[Mishki]

What?

[Tommy]

Oh, yeah, right, right. So what do you two do together? Pay the bills. Anything else? Seethe. What?

[Mishki]

Seethe.

[Tommy]

Seethe. Yeah. That's really, really bad news, Don. Oh, it is, it is. The good news is we're renewing our vows. Yeah, they're new vows. They're very different vows, but we're going to say them with passion. I, Don, take you, Marie, to be the second half of our shell marriage to heaven to hold, to lament and disdain, till with welcome death we blissfully part. I promise to maintain that hollow look when we're out with other couples and to just generally feel lethargy 247 thinking about this sham we call a relationship. And then I'll say to Marie, your turn. And she'll say, I, Marie, feel vacant and adrift. And I promise to maintain this horror show till the fates strip down from my side. Hopefully in a one person car accident on a rural road after dark. Mm. At which point, I hope he develops

[Mishki]

a new relationship with a vulture.

[Tommy]

There have always, always been different types of marriages. The monogamous marriage, the polygamous marriage, the civil marriage, the religious marriage, the same sex marriage, the common law marriage, arranged marriage. But my favorite now has to be the shell marriage. Had not heard of that before. Our marriage did not go so well. It was a bond. Now a shell honeymoon sure was swell. Now we just wake up in hell. Marriage has become a shell.

[Mishki]

What can we say except, oh, well,

[Tommy]

it's really all we got. At least we tied the knot. Don't want to make a fool us,

[Mishki]

but that knot is strangling us. I want out. I just want to get in the car and drive.

[Tommy]

If you've walked into some big box store and slipped on the floor, those guys washed the floor and left the floor wet and you slipped on it and screwed up your back.

[Mishki]

I'm not laughing at you. I'm really not.

[Tommy]

I'm laughing at the people who own this store. They are about to be taken to the cleaners because you're going to call Bradshawn Bryant. Now at that store, did you buy a product that turned out to be defective? Maybe it blew up on you, took a hand off.

[Mishki]

I'm not laughing at you. I'm not.

[Tommy]

I'm laughing at the people who manufactured that product.

[Mishki]

They are about to be taken to the cleaners.

[Tommy]

Courtesy of Brad Shaw and Bryant, the attorneys you're going to call. That's right, you're going to go to MinnesotaPersonal Injury.com you're going to let Brad Shawn Bryant know about this and they're going to say, oh dear Lord, are we going to balance the scales of justice or what? We're going to come through and you don't pay a dime unless we do. Go to MinnesotaPersonal Injury.com

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[Tommy]

You know what's sad about the Wellshire of Bloomington and Medina? When you tour it and you look at the way they take care of people with dementia and Alzheimer's, you're reminded of all the places that aren't like this and that's pretty much all the rest. And you're reminded that a lot of people with dementia and Alzheimer's are in some sad facilities having long lonely days with a staff that's really just babysitting them as they sit in their chairs in the hallway staring off into the distance. That's not a life in those places, that's just existing. What's sad about the Wellshire is not all places are like it. Thank the good Lord there's At least the Wellshire. There's a place where your loved one will be cared for, happy, entertained, where they will hear music, live music, see movies, go to ice cream parlors, enjoy time at a salon or barbershop, pass through a library, celebrate life out in a garden, look at the beautiful sunshine from a balcony.

[Mishki]

Live. Live. We're here to live.

[Tommy]

The well shire of Bloomington and Medina.

[Mishki]

Well, I say we go to the phones.

[Tommy]

Every time I say let's go to the phones, I feel an electricity in the air. I get excited because it's like a box of chocolates. Remember as a kid going into a box of chocolates, I would feel anxiety. You know why? Because I knew some of those were landmines. Pieces of chocolate I was not going to like at all. But once I picked them out and ate them, I wasn't going to be offered another piece. I also knew there were pieces in there that would be the best thing I ever tasted. But how to know which was which? You couldn't see what was inside those things. You just saw the outer chocolate coating. Go ahead, pick one, Tommy.

[Mishki]

Oh God.

[Tommy]

Take anyone you like, but just take one. No, no, I'll take it. No, I'll take the. Take that. Hey, I know.

[Mishki]

Don't touch them all. What are you doing?

[Tommy]

Just pick one. Okay.

[Mishki]

Ah.

[Tommy]

Oh God.

[Mishki]

I'll try

[Tommy]

this one. That looks like a good pig, Tommy.

[Mishki]

Of course, they're all good.

[Tommy]

No, they're not. All right, I'm gonna bite into it.

[Mishki]

No coconut. Can I have another one?

[Tommy]

No, he said just one. So I have a lot of anxiety about this call as well, but I'm

[Mishki]

gonna spin the big wheel.

[Tommy]

Alright, let's see what name comes up.

[Mishki]

Who do we got? Who do we got? Who do we got?

[Tommy]

Who do we got?

[Mishki]

Who do we got? Who do we. The Bucket. What?

[Tommy]

The Bucket. You've got to be kidding me. That's the guy's name, the Bucket. All right, I'll call a person with a name like that. Sure, why not?

[Mishki]

Let's open the box of chocolates. Let's reach into the box of chocolates and grab the bucket. Hope he doesn't have coconut in him. That will be a disastrous call.

[Tommy]

Dialing up the Bucket. Yes, using the old fashioned phone for this one.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

This is Steve.

[Mishki]

They call him the Bucket.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Hello, Tommy.

[Tommy]

You told me your name was the Bucket.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Yeah, yeah, that's what they call me.

[Mishki]

Why?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, it's not quite as exciting as I'd like it to be, but an old friend of mine gave me the name Of Minnow. Because my.

[Mishki]

Hold it. Don't say it. It's a family program. And I'm sorry God did that to you.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No, no, no. That wasn't it. That wasn't it. My nickname for years was Minnow. And then it got changed to Minnow Bucket. Then it got shortened to the Bucket.

[Mishki]

Yeah, that's just fine.

[Tommy]

But let's get back to your original nickname of Minnow.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

My name is. Can I say my last name?

[Tommy]

Only if it isn't Sirhan.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No, it's not.

[Tommy]

Go ahead.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

He says to me one day, this is a guy I went to grade school with. He says to me one day, because I'm kind of a little guy, or I was when I was a kid. Big Steve, Little O. Go with O. Minnow. I have no idea where he came up with that. That's how I got the name of Minnow.

[Tommy]

First of all, how old was this person when this nickname was delivered?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Oh, gosh. Probably junior high school, maybe grade school. I can't remember.

[Tommy]

We're going to go with junior high and that he was developmentally challenged. What did he say again?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

And why my last name starts with O. So he called me Big Steve Little O. Go with O. Minnow. And again, I don't have any idea why he came up with that or how he came up with that, but that's the way he did. And the Minnow stuck with me for all these years.

[Tommy]

Big Steve, Little O.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Big Go with O. Minnow.

[Tommy]

Big Steve, Little O. Go with O. Min O. I get it. I see where he was going. I actually have no idea what he was doing. Are we able to reach this man by chance?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Oh, for God's sakes.

[Tommy]

What kind of a reaction is that?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, I haven't spoken to him in a number of years, but I probably have his number somewhere.

[Tommy]

You mean the guy responsible for you being the Bucket you haven't talked to in years?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Like, see them at class reunions and some other things. But you know how friends kind of, you know, go out of your life.

[Tommy]

Should we sing it together, or do you want me to sing it by myself? Friends I will remember you Think of you praying I don't know that song,

[Steve aka The Bucket]

so you're gonna have to sing it.

[Mishki]

And when another day is through I'll still be friends with you Friends I remember you Ha. Think of you hey, pray for you

[Tommy]

or not, depending on the name you gave me. The Bucket.

[Mishki]

Big Steve Little O. Go with O. Minnow.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

How are you today, Tommy?

[Mishki]

Top notch. Feeling alive and free. And with it no strings to tie me down, no chicks to hang me up. Unless along comes Ellen with her long red hair and her crazy ideas about kicks. And he men. Then off I'll go in a two for the road. Black in a town on the brink of disaster, playing the lead role in a drama of human emotions that explodes into a nightmare. And yourself?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I can't go into that level of detail, but I'm doing well.

[Progressive Insurance Announcer]

Good.

[Mishki]

Very good.

[Tommy]

Bucket master, what's the most important part of a bucket?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Probably the bottom.

[Tommy]

Nope.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No. Maybe the handle.

[Tommy]

Nope. You're obviously not a daoist. Daoism? One of the more fascinating religions on planet Earth. Taoism talks about emptiness quite often. You'll notice with the bucket, the most important part is the empty space.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Oh. Because it can be filled.

[Tommy]

What use would that bucket be if it was just a bunch of plastic with no empty space?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

True.

[Tommy]

What is the most important part of you, sir? The bucket.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

New husband just got married.

[Mishki]

Well, congratulations.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I've been with her for almost 20 years, and I finally decided to get married to this woman.

[Tommy]

What prompted that?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, I'm older, Tommy. I'm almost. I'll be 65 here in about three weeks.

[Tommy]

What does that have to do with anything?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I've been married twice before.

[Mishki]

Before the 20 years. You were married twice?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Mishki]

Wait a minute. I don't know that that's possible. Go back 20 years. You're 45. You already have two marriages under your belt at 45.

[Tommy]

How old were you for the first one?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

28.

[Mishki]

That's old as hell. Trying to squeeze two in between that and 45. What kind of a disaster are you as a husband? What a horrific story this is. This is a nightmare.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

So now you understand why I wasn't too excited and enthusiastic to get married a third time.

[Mishki]

I wonder if your wedding March was There's a hole in my pocket. Dear Liza, dear Liza, There's a hole in my bucket. Dear Liza, a hole.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Paul Se Barn. The Milwaukee used to sing a song called check your bucket. That was my. My swan song, so to speak.

[Tommy]

I used to do an old limerick

[Mishki]

that started, there once was a man with a bucket.

[Tommy]

Wait a minute.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

So, yeah, this is a family show. We can't be saying some of those things.

[Mishki]

Oh, don't try to pull that after telling me your nickname was Minnow. Now, wait a minute here.

[Tommy]

Your first marriage ended when you were what age?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

33 years.

[Mishki]

You couldn't make it five years.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Oh, this was bad. This one was bad. I was a rescuer. And she needed Rescuing. So I was gonna rescue her, and she was gonna love me because I rescued her. It's bad stuff, Tommy.

[Tommy]

After you split up, you said, well, not gonna make that mistake again. And you found wife number two. Where'd you find number two?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

During kind of a joint stag, stag up party.

[Tommy]

And you said, honey, I want to go down the aisle with you. My bucket runneth over. When you went down the aisle with her, were you pretty sure this time?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I was. I was, yeah.

[Tommy]

All right. So how long that one last?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

About seven.

[Tommy]

How long was the first one?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

It was about five when we split. And then I fought for custody. My two girls.

[Tommy]

Did you get it?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Nope. Had a guardian ad litem. Basically write 57 pages that says, take these girls away from their mother and give them to their father because her life is a mess. And I got my ass handed to me when we went to court, and I got pretty standard visitation.

[Tommy]

I think you should have said to the judge, your honor, could we have a recess so you can watch Kramer vs. Kramer?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Yeah, I wrote a letter. I was so pissed because I wrote a letter to the superior court judge. This is in the state of New Hampshire. And I wrote a letter to the supreme court judge who resides over all of these court, you know, court cases in the state. And I said, you know, I was just a customer in your system, and I want to tell you how it went. And as I would expect, his response was back, well, if you don't like the outcome, then just appeal it.

[Mishki]

Take this ruling and shoot. Shove it. Boom, boom. You're out of luck, my friend. And I'm a kind of laughing. Your marriage has come to an end. Ha ha ha. I doubt he did that. After you lost custody and lost that

[Tommy]

second wife, were you thinking at all of driving a car off a cliff?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No, I was always. Good.

[Tommy]

Because I'll tell you something. Thelma and Louise made that look fun.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

That's true. They did.

[Tommy]

I wanted a movie where in Kramer vs Kramer, Dustin Hoffman dresses up like his character in Tootsie, and he's Thelma and Meryl Streep's Louise. And then in Thelma and Louise, we change that to Kramer versus Kramer. Those two are married. Geena Davis and Tommy, you missed your calling.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

You missed your calling. You should have been. You should have been a concept developer guy.

[Tommy]

If I had a nickel for every time I was in a coffee shop and someone walked up to me and said, you know, you ought to be a concept developer guy. I wouldn't have money. When you. When you lost that second marriage. How long before you met the third woman?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I met her after number one, while I was going through my custody battle. I met her at my brother's wedding. She was the maid of honor. I was my brother's best man. I met her there.

[Tommy]

So you kept her on the side, I imagine, maybe in a large bucket, told her to hang on and you'd stop back after you tried one more time with this other gal. Now, when you doubled back for her, you truly had had no hanky panky in the meantime?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, I got married a second time. In between?

[Tommy]

No. So you're with this second woman, and number three is in the bucket. And was she or was she not occasionally visited?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No, certainly not. I've never cheated on any of my wives ever.

[Tommy]

So then you double back, so to speak. You say, wait a minute. I could go forward into yet another mistake, as I will, as I'm prone to do.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I always thought she was the one I like get away.

[Tommy]

Well, why'd you let her get away?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I let her get away originally because I was in the throes of a divorce and a custody battle, and the last thing I needed to do was be jumping into another relationship at that point. So I broke it off with her.

[Mishki]

And for the next several years, she

[Tommy]

didn't get together with anybody.

[Mishki]

She waited for you?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No. God, no. She got together with somebody. She never got married. She's never been married, has no children. When I broke it off with her the first time, it was 13 years later that I came back to her and said, maybe we should be together again.

[Tommy]

Did you say, hi, I've messed up in two different marriages, but I'd sure like to get together with you. I think I'm a pretty good catch.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

It was something similar to that.

[Tommy]

And she said, buddy, I don't know if you're dealing with all 52 cards here. You know, I've been tracking a little bit of your journey.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No, but, Tommy, what I did is about every couple of years, I'd say, we don't need to get married. Dewey, are you okay with this? Just, you know, kind of doing this because she knew I wasn't too energized to do it a third time, and I was just fine with that.

[Tommy]

There is nothing more romantic than saying, we don't need to get married, do we?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

She was respecting my feelings about marriage, and I have a tremendous amount of respect for her for allowing me to work through that in my head.

[Tommy]

So for the next 20 years, were you in therapy?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No. Therapy Was before that. Personal therapy.

[Tommy]

Well, I know it's not physical. We haven't ascertained at this point any injury outside of your minnow status. And I don't know what can be done for that. I'm never going to get married again. I'm just not the marrying type.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

That's the way I felt. And she was fully respectful of that and said, I'm fine. And I said this to anybody that would ask. I don't need a piece of paper to tell me that I love this woman and I'm committed to her and I expect to be with her the rest of my life.

[Tommy]

Because you were gun shy.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Yeah.

[Tommy]

What makes you think it's gonna work this time?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, we've been together for 20 years.

[Tommy]

You know, if I had a nickel for every time a couple who lived together for a long time finally got married and it all went to hell, I actually would be wealthy for some reason.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

You would, huh?

[Tommy]

Yes, for some reason. I'm quite serious about this. I've been watching this since the early 70s. My brothers, friends, people I know. The living together is just so easy. It just can go on and on and on. There's a looseness to it. There's a whole looseness to the way you're playing life at that point. And then all of a sudden, the rubber meets the road and it terrifies a guy and he says, my God, what have I locked myself into?

[Mishki]

I want out.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, I proposed to her.

[Tommy]

When did you go down the aisle?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

September. September 12th of last year has not

[Tommy]

been a year yet. It'll be interesting to see if you can make it to Christmas. That's me talking now. I think you're going to end it almost as a practical joke. Surprise her one morning and say,

[Mishki]

what was I thinking?

[Tommy]

And then few hours later, say, those papers aren't real. I had a buddy of mine make

[Steve aka The Bucket]

them up and just say, this is all for fun.

[Tommy]

A few hours later say, it was all for fun, but for a while there, ride it pretty hard. What did you do for a living all your life?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Vast majority of my life I was in sales.

[Mishki]

Sales?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Yeah.

[Mishki]

When guys say they're in sales, it

[Tommy]

always intrigues me because they just say the nebulous word sales.

[Mishki]

They're not saying what they're selling. They're just, I'll sell anything. Just give me what. Here's a little phone. I'll sell that. Here's a laptop. Here's a little mouse. I'll sell that. What's over here? There's a briefcase I'll sell that. Here's some car keys. I'll sell those.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, right out of college, I sold rubber and plastic parts for Minnesota Rubber Company.

[Mishki]

Minnesota Rubber Company. Say no more, cowboy. And you still had a couple of kids.

[Tommy]

Here comes the bucket again.

[Mishki]

Everybody duck.

[Tommy]

Pull the curtains, Marge.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, it's not door to door, Tommy. I didn't do door to door sales.

[Tommy]

No, it would be hard to sell little rubbers door to door.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

It would.

[Mishki]

Although kind of fun when you think about it. Imagine the excitement. You've rang the doorbell. Too late to back out now. They're coming. Pardon the pun. And there you are with the rubber, and you're saying, my God, what have I done? Oh, this is gonna be weird. Then they arrive and you decide at the last minute to change it and say, I'm selling roofing material. Then you scream and run.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Rubber, roofing materials.

[Mishki]

Oh, we're having some fun, aren't we, bucket man?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Loads, loads.

[Mishki]

Pardon the pun. Pardon the pun.

[Tommy]

What's your gal do for a living?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Even marketing.

[Tommy]

And what does she market?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

She does relationship marketing.

[Mishki]

Markets relationships.

[Tommy]

So she might take you two and

[Mishki]

sell you to another couple for a group sex thing?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No, she's the one that. The app on your phone for your car, for your airline, or for your credit card or whatever it is. She works in that end of marketing.

[Tommy]

What do you think she sees in you? Bucket.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I'm a hell of a guy. I'm a good catch.

[Tommy]

Well, I've never heard a guy say that before. I'm a hell of a guy.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I cook and I clean and I fix stuff around the house. And I don't leave my underwear laying on the floor.

[Tommy]

Is it French maid's underwear? What does she make you wear when you clean?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

That's got to stay private.

[Tommy]

I have never thought for a moment in my life, I'm a hell of a guy.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Come on.

[Mishki]

Nope.

[Tommy]

Never.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Well, you must do something right. How long have you been married?

[Tommy]

That doesn't mean I don't do anything right. I was expecting you to maybe say, I'm a decent guy. That's what a Midwesterner says. He says, I'm a decent guy. But what I'm thinking happened is you had one of these Stuart Smalley therapists who built you up and told you quit selling yourself short. You're a hell of a guy. Every day I want you to say these affirmations, I'm a hell of a guy.

[Mishki]

I'm a hell of a guy. I'm a hell of a guy. And so you Started saying that, and now you can't stop.

[Tommy]

What happened in therapy, oh, my God.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

That was 25 years ago. I had my issues. I got married for the wrong reasons. And I figured those out. That's why I told her if we would have been. If we would have remained together on round one, that it wouldn't have lasted because I wasn't in a place in my life where I was ready to, you know, be in that length of a relationship. I asked her to marry me. It was on a. It was on a little bit of an island down in the British Virgin Islands, and. And it took her by such surprise that she stood over me. You know, I was on my knee and she was standing over me. And I said, well, after 19 years together, I said, I think it's time we make this happen. Will you marry me? And she put her hand on her hips and she looked down at me and she said, I think I can say this. She said, are you kidding me? And I looked at her and I said, that's going on the napkins at our reception. So we had a thousand napkins printed up with that picture on it, because we had somebody taking that picture and had that written on the bottom of the napkin.

[Tommy]

It would have been nice if, during the vows, you included that. Do you take the bucket to be your lawfully wedded husband? Are you kidding me?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Yeah, that's exactly what she said.

[Mishki]

What part of the country do you live in?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I live in St. Louis Park, Minnesota.

[Tommy]

Do you know why it was named that?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

No.

[Mishki]

How can you live somewhere and have no idea where the name came from?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I don't know. I've never really given it much thought.

[Mishki]

What the hell is no one curious anymore?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

What's the genesis of it?

[Mishki]

I don't know. It's not my town. It's yours. I take care of St. Paul. St. Paul was named that because Father Gaultier built a little church in what was otherwise a community called Pig's Eye. And he called the church St. Paul's Church. And the reason he called it St. Paul's Church, because across the river in what is Now Mendota was St. Peter's Church. And the two big guns there in Christianity is your Paul and your Peter. Capiche?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

You call me back in a week and I'll figure out where St. Louis park came from. Oh, that's not.

[Tommy]

No, we're doing it now. Saint Louis park got its name from the Minneapolis and St. Louis Railway that ran through the area. The word park was added to the

[Mishki]

name to avoid confusion. With the larger city known as St. Louis, Missouri. So here's what you got. You got a railroad coming through town. It's called the St. Louis Railroad. And they would have just said St. Louis, but there already was one in Missouri, so they added park Will. Any plans for your future?

[Tommy]

How much longer do you think you're going to live?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Live?

[Tommy]

Yeah. Let's assume that you're going to go within three years. Average life expectancy has you go in about three more years. Oh, I'm sorry, not three years. You're 65. I'm sorry. 13 years. 13 years. What do you still want to do?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I'm going to work for two more years and then I'm being done. And then I think go live internationally somewhere for three, four years. Just kind of go different places internationally and spend two months or six months or whatever and go in different places.

[Tommy]

Interesting.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Sell everything we got, sell the house, sell all the goods and just kind of go on a global walkabout, so to speak.

[Tommy]

A global walkabout.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Wow.

[Mishki]

Wow.

[Tommy]

That'll be something. I'd like to see you go to Nam myself, I would go to Vietnam,

[Steve aka The Bucket]

but sent my girls on a trip when they both graduated from their respective post secondary schools. And I looked at them and I said, well, my gift to you is that I'll send you anywhere in the world you want to go. You need to plan for and budget for your expenses and costs and everything while you're wherever you go. But I'll get you there and I'll get you home. And they went and spent 12 weeks in Laos, Cambodia, and they said to

[Mishki]

you, dad, you saved us.

[Tommy]

Mom was gonna make us stay in an Airbnb rat hole in Vietnam. One of those places where the soldiers would hide and come out and booby trap the Americans. Imagine an Airbnb in a rat hole. What kind of a mother sends her daughters there? Sure, it was cheap and they're small gals.

[Mishki]

Right.

[Tommy]

How big are your daughters?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

They're small. Yeah, I'm small. They're small.

[Tommy]

They're small.

[Mishki]

They would.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Steve. Little O. Remember?

[Mishki]

Oh, yeah. Little minnows would fit in those rat holes just fine. Which is what mom said.

[Tommy]

Why don't you make like your dad

[Mishki]

and get in a rat hole?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I just think it'd be a cool place to explore.

[Tommy]

Absolutely.

[Mishki]

I think you got a good setup there.

[Tommy]

I think your life has finally all come together. I think things are working out. Boy, it took a long time.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I would agree.

[Tommy]

But I think this marriage thing is wonderful. I think it makes a Big difference in your wife's life. I think she's happier. I think you're going to make it to the finish line career wise. I think you two are going to have a wonderful few years together before one day you grip your chest and fall into as she says.

[Mishki]

Are you kidding me?

[Steve aka The Bucket]

I appreciate the good thoughts, Tommy.

[Mishki]

Thank you so. I've enjoyed our conversation and I hope

[Tommy]

to talk to you again sometime.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

All right, sir. Thank you very much.

[Tommy]

All right, bucket.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Bye.

[Tommy]

Bye.

[Steve aka The Bucket]

Bye.

[Tommy]

Hey, I want you to do me a favor. Do you need your AC addressed in your house? You need some AC equipment. I want you to call MSP because you're gonna get 358 bucks off right off the top. 358 bucks off. You ever heard of anybody in the history of any business offering 358 bucks off? It's never happened before.

[Mishki]

They took the 250 years of the

[Tommy]

United States and the 108 years that MSP has been around came up with 358. And they're taking that off. All AC or heating equipment in the

[Mishki]

month of July, but only July. You've wanted to call an outfit like msp, but you've been dilly dallying. Now's the time.

[Tommy]

You wait till August 1st, you miss

[Mishki]

out on this deal, 358 bucks off. You don't want to miss out on that.

[Tommy]

MSP is Minneapolis St. Paul Plumbing, Heating, Air and Electric. They're my people, and they have been for many years. Find them at call and msp.com. I've been reading about dive bars of late. Not sure why. Oh, I know why. Because I read an article saying dive bars are disappointed. Disappearing in America. They're vanishing. They're going extinct. They're an endangered species. Rising costs are part of the problem. Changing social patterns. Another issue. Young people aren't drinking as much. And those old regulars who drink a lot, they're dying. They're falling over, not being replaced. Costs are just too high to keep these old dive bars going. The money isn't coming in like it used to. They live off the drinks. They don't serve food. Maybe some popcorn, but that's about it. No, they made it at a time when people drank. I mean, drank. Arriving in the morning. You know, it's sad to see another American institution disappear. Even if it's a little seedy. It was wonderfully seedy. We need the seedy without the seedy. How would we know what isn't seedy? Yeah, I've been reading about dive bars. Tough to Get a real solid definition of a dive bar. But the theme I came across over and over again was the beer has got to be cheap and the bathroom has got to be scary. What a delightful couple of things. You have to have to open up one of these babies. Here's what I didn't know. The term dive dates back to the 1800s. It refers to the idea of physically descending into the bars. They were often basement bars. So dive bar meant a basement bar. What was astounding for me to learn was that some early dive bars offer offered no glassware. And you're going to say, well, they had plastic cups, right? No, no, this was before plastic. I'm talking way back. Drinks were 3 cents back then. And you're saying to yourself, well, wait a minute, how did you get a drink if they didn't pour it in anything? Well, the drinks were served from barrels stacked behind the bar. And out of the barrels came tubes and the stipulation. You can look this up. This is true. The stipulation was a customer could drink all he wanted until he had to stop for a breath. In other words, the customer is sucking on this tube coming out of the barrel. Three cents for a pull off that hose. Try to get your head around what we're looking at here. These were really, really rough places. They were places primarily for those who had nowhere else to go. New immigrants to the country or other people on the margins. People would wander down into these basements with their $0.03 to pull on this hose. One long, hefty pull from that barrel. Anyway, slowly that evolved into what we have today, where apparently the two key things that have to be there with a dive cheap beer and a scary bathroom. If the dive bars do disappear altogether from this country, would you people out there do me a favor and at least maintain one bathroom in your house that you can call scary? Just in honor of the dive bar, it could be the basement bathroom. But make it scary. And when people come over, mention that they can't find dive bars anywhere in the city, but they can descend the stairs into your basement and try the bathroom down there and get a rough feel for the dive bar. Meanwhile, you can give them a free beer. Ain't nothing cheaper than that. Make it a buckhorn. We open up at 8:30. Make sure our bathrooms are real dirty. They come from near and they come from far. They want cheap beer. At our dive bar, there's Chuck and Jill. They're always stoned. And old man Earl, always alone. By 10am the place is packed as they all find all they have lacked and the smiles return and again they're free washing away all of their worry. Yes, we all need our own North Star and they have found it here at this dive bar and Johnny sings and sue rolls her eyes and Jenny laughs and Danny sighs and Robert shouts another beer. And they all get through another year the huddled masses seeking a pour the wretched refuse come through our door we light the lamp on our marquee a poor man's Statue of Liberty where the beer is cheap and bathroom dirty. So if you see a dive bar in the coming months, slip inside, won't you? They won't be around forever and we'll miss them when they're gone. Well, that's about gonna do it for this here show, folks. Thank you so much for listening. If you'd like to contact the program, you can in one of two ways. Phone number 6513-2189-4965-1321-8949 or through email mishki at hubbardradio. Com. We'll talk to you next.