MNST: NCAA championship night, Masters week is upon us, and it's going to be a long summer for the Twins

Summary

Garage Logic – Episode Summary
Episode: MNST: NCAA Championship Night, Masters Week is Upon Us, and It’s Going to Be a Long Summer for the Twins
Date: April 6, 2026
Host: Joe Soucheray ("The Mayor"), with Patrick, Bill

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Episode Overview
This episode of Garage Logic brings classic Gumption County banter to Minnesota’s biggest sports headlines. The crew dives into the Minnesota Wild’s NHL playoff push, the looming Masters golf tournament, the bleak early outlook for the Twins baseball season, and the NCAA basketball championship. The show is peppered with nostalgic stories, sharp sports insights, and the hosts’ signature old-school humor and skepticism.

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NHL Playoff Picture & Minnesota Wild Update

Main Focus:

• The state of the Wild’s playoff chase, upcoming games, and observations on key players.

Key Points

• Praised Kirill Kaprizov’s hat trick and rapid shot release:
  • “That is the quickest release of a shot that I've ever seen in my life.” – Patrick (01:17)
• Discussion of Wild’s remaining regular season games, playoff positioning, and importance (or lack thereof) of home-ice advantage.
• Chatter about NHL standings, playoff formats, and implications for the Wild ("I think the cup is just sitting there for us. If Gus plays great, they can win the cup, I think." – Joe, 09:47).
• Notable trivia about Brett Burns’ 1,000 consecutive games and his eccentric pet collection.

Notable Quotes & Moments:

• “He looks like a wolf man… big beard. He's got a brood of kids. He's got wild animals… snakes too.” – Joe, on Brett Burns (07:11)
• Humor about old arenas and the infamous Islander locker rooms.
  • "It was like, how cheap can we build an arena? Was the deal back then?" – Joe (15:22)

Timestamps:

• Kaprizov’s Play & Playoff Scenarios: 01:15–10:03
• Brett Burns’ Ironman Streak: 06:49–08:48
• The quirks of NHL playoff structure and coach recycling: 10:28–14:22

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Masters Week & Tiger Woods

Main Focus:

• Anticipation for Masters Week and Tiger Woods’ absence.

Key Points:

• Lamentations about Tiger not playing:
  • “We have confirmed Tiger is not playing.” – Bill (17:31)
• Debates about his legacy ("…the most amazing athlete of my lifetime…” – Joe, 18:50), his impact on golf and physical fitness, and "the era of guys with cigarettes and beer guts is gone."
• Skepticism about new gimmick golf formats on TV:
  • "They play it and you hit your drive and approach shot on a computer… I’m not watching.” – Joe (20:28–20:35)

Notable Quotes:

• “When he came on, half of them were pounding the heaters, I think. Fuzzy was one of the great—he'd shoot a shot and have to put [the cigarette] in his pocket.” – Joe (19:57)

Timestamps:

• Masters & Tiger Woods Reflection: 17:14–19:53
• TV Golf Gimmicks & Savannah Bananas Crossover: 20:23–21:25

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MN Twins’ Rocky Start & Baseball Musings

Main Focus:

• Early disappointments with the Twins lineup and team spirit.

Key Points:

• The crew expresses frustration over the team’s lack of “spunk” and poor hitting ("they had three hits, two games in a row" – Joe (23:09)).
• Noted low energy at Target Field—fans only seemed excited over $2 beers.
• Joe and Patrick yearn for the days of Kirby Puckett, contrasting modern approaches to hitting and the ball being in play less frequently.
• Nostalgic, humorous ballpark tales about old sportswriters, player anecdotes, and press box shenanigans.

Notable Quotes:

• “I wish the boys had more spunk. They’re missing spunk.” – Patrick (21:55)
• “You know what bothers me is they had a nice crowd on the opener... Minnesota likes $2 cans of beer.” – Joe (22:04)
• “I bet you there’s still some smokers… Fuzzy was one of the great—he’d shoot a shot and have to put it in his pocket.” – Joe (19:55)

Timestamps:

• Twins’ Energy & Fan Experience: 21:55–23:06
• Ball in play, classic baseball, and old writers: 23:19–28:39

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NCAA Championship (Men’s & Women’s)

Main Focus:

• Men’s national title game predictions; Minnesota connections; state of college hoops.

Key Points:

• The group predicts a Michigan win, noting local player William Cheddar’s role as the team's “spiritual leader” (32:04).
• Discussion of the Fab Five, transfer portal’s impact on modern college teams, and nostalgia for the old “one school for four years” era.
• Brief, light-hearted analysis of recent Gophers games and the trend of lightly-attended postseason tournaments.

Notable Quotes:

• "That team could not have existed in the Portal era... you get one year." – Patrick (33:28)
• “He [Cheddar] was a great player here. Gophers wanted him bad and he committed to Michigan and never entered the transfer portal.” – Joe (32:07)

Timestamps:

• NCAA Men’s Preview, Fab Five: 31:52–34:27

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Women’s Tournament & WNBA Expansion

Main Focus:

• South Carolina’s dominance, Gino Auriemma’s changing place in women’s basketball, and WNBA salary/expansion.

Key Points:

• Praise for Dawn Staley’s coaching and how the women’s game has evolved.
• Noted that the Lynx may draft a top UCLA player thanks to a successful trade; discussion on draft structure and free agency issues.
• WNBA expansion to Toronto and Portland.
• Noted the rise of Sophie Cunningham as a "character," and Caitlin Clark’s media star power.

Timestamps:

• Women’s Tourney & WNBA: 34:33–39:38

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Sidebar Banter & Memorable Humor

Memorable Story:

• Classic Curb Your Enthusiasm and Boston Red Sox press box stories.
• Susie’s meltdown at Jeff and Larry: “Larry, you four eyed bleep. You got my daughter drunk and you stole her dog." – Joe (31:44)

Additional Topics:

• Reflections on Easter, the Pope, and Catholic roots with signature light sarcasm, e.g., “It kind of renewed my Catholic spirit.” – Joe (39:49)
• Quick takes on gas prices and car-purchasing habits.

Timestamps:

• Press Box Nostalgia & Curb Your Enthusiasm: 26:54–31:52
• Pope Story, Easter Reflection: 16:01–17:14, 39:41–40:17
• Gas Prices & Car Shopping: 40:17–41:12

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• “He looks like a wolf man... He's got wild animals... snakes too.” – Joe, on Brett Burns (07:11)
• “I wish the boys had more spunk. They're missing spunk.” – Patrick (21:55)
• “They’re gonna draw more people than the Twins do all season. The hell with them. I wouldn't watch it.” – Joe, on Savannah Bananas (20:42)
• “That’s the quickest release I’ve ever seen.” – Patrick, on Kaprizov (01:23)
• “That team could not have existed in the Portal era... you get one year.” – Patrick (33:28)

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Episode Structure Guide

• 01:00–10:03: NHL & Wild deep dive (standings, playoff scenarios, local color)
• 10:03–17:14: NHL coaches, classic hockey stories, the Pope, arena nostalgia
• 17:14–20:09: Masters Week, Tiger Woods legacy, state of golf
• 20:09–23:19: New golf/media trends, Savannah Bananas, Twins start & lack of “spunk”
• 23:19–31:52: Baseball nostalgia, old press box tales, Curb Your Enthusiasm references
• 31:52–34:33: NCAA men’s championship night, Michigan love, Fab Five
• 34:33–39:38: Women’s basketball, WNBA expansion/salaries, Caitlin Clark and Sophie Cunningham
• 39:41–41:12: Easter reflections, cars, gas prices, end-of-episode musings

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Tone & Style
Garage Logic remains true to its roots: a blend of sports bar banter, sentimental sports storytelling, wry skepticism about modern trends, and a quick turn to dry humor or wistful nostalgia at any opportunity. The result is a uniquely Minnesotan, multi-generational dialogue—equal parts rolling commentary, warm reminiscence, and gentle ribbing.

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Summary for the Uninitiated
This episode serves as an ideal sampler of Garage Logic’s appeal—if you love Minnesota sports, appreciate tradition, or miss the quirks of yesterday’s sporting world, you’ll find this roundtable both enlightening and deeply relatable.

Transcript

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[Joe]

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[Patrick]

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[Patrick]

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[Joe]

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[Patrick]

Let's go, Matt. I'm not gonna say the word, but I'm gonna say something about capers off. How do you say it?

[Joe]

Caprisov.

[Patrick]

That is the quickest release of a shot that I've ever seen in my life.

[Joe]

Yeah, he can do that.

[Patrick]

The quickest release I've ever seen.

[Joe]

He can shoot the ball.

[Patrick]

He had a hat trick yesterday, including the winning goal, and it was so quick.

[Bill]

How quick was it?

[Patrick]

Well, he. He sees the puck coming, he cocks the trigger, and then when the stick touches the puck, he fires the gun, and it just. You can't stop it.

[Joe]

And the good news for the Wild is he's playing his best of the season.

[Patrick]

He's really coming to life.

[Joe]

And he had a month. Yeah. To sit on the beach.

[Patrick]

Yep.

[Joe]

With. Well, if they have a beach in Russia, I don't know.

[Patrick]

Did he go home?

[Joe]

But he's. You know, that's gotta help. I mean, Quinn Hughes and these other guys played their ass off for two weeks, and he's sitting there, you know, whatever. Well, having. And stuff like that, you know, after dinner and having a good time. So, yeah, he's. He's playing her best. And they. Now, if they can beat Dallas this week, they got a chance to start at home. I'd like to. I don't think it makes much difference in modern hockey whether you're home or away, but it makes a difference on West 7th if he can get. If you can get four home games instead of.

[Patrick]

Are there only three games left?

[Joe]

Four, I believe. Add them up. We got. We played 78.

[Patrick]

Well, you got Seattle tomorrow Yes. Then you're at Dallas Thursday and you're at Nashville Saturday.

[Joe]

Is that it?

[Patrick]

I think that's got to be it, because Saturday's April 11th. Okay, I'll add them up.

[Bill]

They push the. Remember, they pushed it back.

[Joe]

The numbers. And I can add them in my

[Bill]

head because the Wolves only have, what, six left?

[Joe]

Give me a number.

[Patrick]

They're 44 and 32.

[Joe]

Okay, 76. They got six left.

[Patrick]

Then they play 82.

[Joe]

Yeah, 82. They must have another week, then. No, they can't. The season can't.

[Patrick]

No, they can't.

[Bill]

Well, remember, we had the Olympic break.

[Patrick]

Look up their schedule.

[Bill]

Okay.

[Joe]

Yeah, but if it's only 76, then they play 82.

[Patrick]

Yeah, but did that even count yesterday with this paper?

[Joe]

No, no, it wouldn't count with our paper. We would not have the.

[Bill]

They'll have that next week.

[Joe]

Oh, wait. We. I think as recently as tomorrow, maybe. All right.

[Bill]

We are playing at Seattle tomorrow.

[Patrick]

No, Seattle's here.

[Joe]

Sorry.

[Bill]

Seattle here tomorrow.

[Joe]

I want to be there. Coming.

[Patrick]

I am going to be there.

[Joe]

Are you?

[Patrick]

No, I'm going to be in a regular seat.

[Bill]

Watch the Kraken. We're at Dallas Thursday. We're at Nashville.

[Joe]

Use that nickname, by the way. What? Kraken.

[Bill]

You don't like it?

[Joe]

No.

[Bill]

At Nashville Saturday.

[Patrick]

Yep.

[Bill]

At the Blue Monday.

[Patrick]

That's five.

[Bill]

And then we host the Duck Tuesday next week.

[Patrick]

God. Almost six left.

[Joe]

Five or six.

[Bill]

One, two, three, four.

[Joe]

Does that one have their last game in it?

[Patrick]

This is today's paper.

[Joe]

Yes, but does it?

[Patrick]

They played Detroit yesterday. That does have that game in it.

[Joe]

Wow.

[Bill]

We made work of that one. Weren't we up four to one?

[Patrick]

Three to one. They were up three to three to one.

[Bill]

Okay.

[Joe]

I thought they were up four to one and tied it.

[Bill]

That's what I thought.

[Patrick]

Maybe it was four to one.

[Joe]

Yeah. Yeah, but that's.

[Patrick]

But then Patrick Kane took one of the dumbest penalties in the history of hockey.

[Joe]

Oh, really?

[Patrick]

And gave the Wild an extra man in the final minute.

[Joe]

Why do you hit somebody with a stick?

[Patrick]

Yeah, he tripped the guy. So obviously they had to call it. They probably didn't want to call.

[Joe]

No, they generally don't.

[Patrick]

So. So The Wild have 100 points and Seattle has 102 points.

[Joe]

Oh, Dallas has 100.

[Patrick]

I'm sorry. Dallas has.

[Joe]

Colorado has 106 or 108.

[Patrick]

Colorado has 110.

[Joe]

Well, we can forget them then. Yeah.

[Patrick]

So. But I think it'd be nice for home ice.

[Joe]

Here's the deal. They're going to end up Playing Utah's in then I don't know who's the. Who's the. Who's. Who's got the fifth. Who's fifth in our, in our division.

[Patrick]

In the division. How many teams make the playoffs?

[Joe]

I'm going to tell you this if you give me a chance.

[Patrick]

Well, after Dallas, it's The Wild in third, then Utah in fourth. Nashville.

[Joe]

Nashville has how many points?

[Patrick]

Nashville has 81 points.

[Joe]

Okay, now go look at the Pacific and tell me how many points the fourth place team has.

[Patrick]

One, two, three. That's. That'll be the king. They have 81 points.

[Joe]

Well, that's how it's going to work then. Those two. See you got, you got your two plays three and one plays four. The four. But four the, the fourth place in each division it can be two teams from one division.

[Bill]

True.

[Joe]

Fourth and fifth. So it's, you know, that's how many

[Patrick]

teams from each division are in the playoffs?

[Joe]

Three are in for sure.

[Patrick]

Right.

[Joe]

And then the others are come out of the Western Conference.

[Patrick]

Two more.

[Joe]

Two more.

[Patrick]

Well, that's Utah. Nashville.

[Joe]

Utah. Nashville.

[Patrick]

Winnipeg can't. Well, Winnipeg could catch it. Winnipeg has 78 points.

[Joe]

Yeah, they could damn given up. Those jets haven't given up, damn it.

[Patrick]

And San Jose could catch the king. Really? Well, San Jose has 79 points.

[Joe]

You know what is the phenom of phenoms in the history of the NHL?

[Patrick]

Macklin Celebrini.

[Joe]

41 year old Brett Burns just played his 1000th consecutive game. Wow. He has not missed any since he was a kid riding the bus.

[Bill]

How many of his original teeth you think he still has?

[Joe]

I don't know but he, he looks like a wolf man. You know, he's got the big beard hair, big beard. He's got a brood of kids. He's got a bunch of kids.

[Patrick]

Remember he also had. Well, at least when he was here he had a menagerie. He had wild animals.

[Joe]

Snakes too. Yeah, he's a big snake.

[Patrick]

He's nuts. He's nuts.

[Joe]

Not little teeny ones.

[Patrick]

Oh, he had the big ones.

[Joe]

You know, if you come in and you see it, you might go, oh, you might jump a little bit if you saw the bugs.

[Patrick]

But he had tigers and live monke.

[Joe]

He's goofier now, but I always tell the story. I was at his first ever game. I don't know if he's even in a lineup. But they opened at Chicago in the fall of 03 after they'd gone to the, you know, the conference final. So we had wild fever. So they sent me down there as a columnist to go with the beat writer. I can't remember who was the beat writer then, but I, I rode the bus out to the Arena United center because I didn't want to have to park out there. And he was sitting a couple seats behind, a couple rows behind me and looking out the window and not peeping a word. He was just this 19 year old kid.

[Patrick]

That was his first game.

[Joe]

First. That was. That was the start of his career. You know, except for Gabari. Jacques used to keep those number one draft joists, Bouchard and Burns and these guys. But he'd only play them like half the time or less. You know, he'd play them when he wanted to, but he wanted to develop them in his own fashion. So his. The number one draft choices always ended

[Patrick]

up with, you know what Florida said this year we're going to.

[Joe]

We got, we got a. Those places. We used our Cost cup money that we bought down on the keys. We're going to go down there and sit there.

[Bill]

I have the standings.

[Patrick]

They win two consecutive cups at least.

[Bill]

Well, I don't know if they're second.

[Patrick]

Two.

[Joe]

It was either two in a row or two.

[Patrick]

I think they won the last two Cups, didn't Florida?

[Bill]

The state of Florida went about four on the last five or so.

[Joe]

Five. Tampa's 13 and they won two.

[Bill]

I have this. I'm on NHL.com. did you. Is that what you were looking for?

[Patrick]

What?

[Bill]

The standings.

[Patrick]

I got them.

[Bill]

Got him. Okay. Okay. I didn't know if you had it up to date or not. Okay.

[Joe]

The. But the river. There is no justice here. It's kind of like the NBA in a sense that the Western Conference is so much better than the Eastern Conference, you know, but the, but the. Our division's got the three best teams.

[Bill]

Three best teams in the league.

[Patrick]

Exactly.

[Joe]

Yeah. You know, so it's. I think it's just sitting there for us, Joe. I think that the cup is just sitting there for us. If Gus plays great, they can win the cup, I think.

[Patrick]

Well, you're not even supposed to use the word.

[Joe]

But I have been there when Colorado was supposed to be way better than them. 2003 and we scored the goal on a Saturday afternoon in overtime against Patrick Rua and won that game.

[Bill]

You know what? I didn't realize they were this good this year. But in the east you could have a first round matchup of your Montreal Canadien.

[Joe]

Yes.

[Bill]

Versus your Buffalo Sabers.

[Joe]

That could be a fun playoffs for the first time since 11 or something.

[Bill]

Has it been that long?

[Joe]

I think it's longer. Maybe even longer than that. Wow. I was reading it. It's something they were. There's a couple coaches in the league who were like 50 years old who were on that team. Wow. You know, the last time they were in the playoffs. So it's. Look it up.

[Bill]

Well, Housley wasn't still playing, was it? When did he retire?

[Joe]

No, I don't think so.

[Bill]

Okay.

[Patrick]

The Wild beat Ottawa and Detroit, both of whom had breathing chances of making the playoffs.

[Joe]

Oh, they still had a little bit of chance.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Well, Ottawa is. They kind of a. Supposedly they were going to get a new arena up there because the old. The other one is like 20 miles out of town. And the traffic, God awful because that's where all the commuters go after. After work and the freeways all clogged up and.

[Bill]

You called it, Patrick. Buffalo's last playoff appearance was April 26, 2011, when they lost in the first round of the Philadelphia Flyers. 14 season drought.

[Joe]

Yeah, that's. That's pretty good. When 16 of more than half. Although Joe and I are old enough to remember when the NHL worshiped playoff money so much, 16 out of 21 teams made the playoffs. Our bikes. I mean, our North Stars won half their games in one down one. They lost twice as many as they won and were in the playoffs.

[Patrick]

In the Metropolitan Conference of the East. Carolina's got it locked up as first. Pittsburgh seems to be set for second. Then third place is the Islanders with 89 points. Fourth place, Philadelphia with 88. Fifth place, Columbus with 88.

[Joe]

Just what they want.

[Patrick]

And Washington in six with 87 points.

[Joe]

Washington.

[Patrick]

That's not settled by any means.

[Joe]

No, that's. They got the contest. So who got fired yesterday? And they brought Peter DeBoer back. Somebody's trying to squeeze into the playoffs.

[Patrick]

The Islanders wasn't at the Island.

[Bill]

Did we bring back Tortorella, too?

[Joe]

Oh, we brought back Torch four on a contract in Vegas for the last eight games of the regular season and the playoffs. If they make them, that's it. Then he's done.

[Bill]

And he probably won't talk to the media while he's the coach.

[Joe]

Bring back Torch. It's unbelievable.

[Bill]

How about this nugget speaking of coaching? Lindy Ruff was brought back to coach the Sabres in 2026. He was the coach in 2011, their last time they made the postseason.

[Patrick]

I think nobody changes coaches. Reuses coaches more than.

[Joe]

Oh, yeah, they're all recyclable. I told you, I talked To. I told Evison that last year when I saw him at one of Columbus.

[Patrick]

Oh, isn't he at Columbus?

[Joe]

No, he got fired. He did, But I told him, don't worry, Dean, when you get fired here, you'll have another job in two weeks. I said, you're in. You did well enough here to be in the club.

[Bill]

You know, you'll get a job.

[Joe]

You'll get the club. You haven't got a job yet.

[Patrick]

Patrick Roy was fired as coach of the island yesterday.

[Joe]

Yes. And Peter Deborah, who's had, oh, four jobs, maybe various places, got the job. They never say, we'll take our. The minor league. Top minor league guy from.

[Bill]

How many jobs has Patrick Waugh had? He's had a couple.

[Joe]

Hasn't he had three as a coach, but he's a complete jack.

[Bill]

Oh, he's a psycho.

[Joe]

He is.

[Bill]

Remember, when did he jump over the glass at somebody?

[Joe]

Us. Was it us? Game one. When did we beat them? Might be the last time that we won a playoff series. The Wild haven't won a playoff series since.

[Patrick]

Why did he get canned? The Islander? Well, in the hunt.

[Joe]

Well, I didn't like something about her. Somebody he might have. They might have lost two in a row. And they're. They're very nervous about making the playoffs

[Bill]

because don't they have a.

[Joe]

They. They are no longer in that beautiful arena where you covered the Stanley cup finals.

[Patrick]

It's like the State Fair Coliseum. It's just terrible.

[Joe]

There. A train right next door or something. I mean, it just.

[Patrick]

Strip malls.

[Joe]

Yeah. I was just the worst. Russo, you know, grew up as an Islander fan. That's where he loved hockey. He's. He's. He tells romantic stories about this.

[Patrick]

There's no romantic story.

[Joe]

It was like, how cheap can we build an arena? Was the deal back then? They did not. No. No extra stuff in it. But I never was there. But Joe was for the. The rapid. We got swept that year. Right.

[Patrick]

That's when they were playing the island in the playoffs and the Pope got shot.

[Bill]

Oh, that's right.

[Patrick]

Remember the Pope got shot and all the guys in the locker room. I was in the locker room that morning and the TV was on. And the guys looked up at TV and they went, jesus. They shot him in his own room. Meaning he was in Rome. They got him in his own room.

[Joe]

Yeah, that's right. Which pope was that?

[Patrick]

I think it was the deuce, wasn't it?

[Joe]

John ii?

[Patrick]

I think so.

[Joe]

Really? Paul? John II or whatever is the chubby guy? Yeah. Was that the guy?

[Patrick]

I Think so. I'd have to look it up.

[Bill]

I'll look it up.

[Joe]

How about this Pope, though? This pope is a great. He carried the cross all 14 stations.

[Patrick]

He did.

[Joe]

He did. He did. You know the rest of these lazy popes.

[Bill]

May 13, 1981, Pope John Paul II was shot and Critically wounded in St. Peter's Square.

[Patrick]

Yep. Got him in his own room.

[Bill]

Got him in his own room.

[Joe]

This Pope. You know, the other popes, they'd carry it from me to you for the first station.

[Patrick]

They'd hand it to a lackey.

[Joe]

Yeah. Had a bunch of guys and, hey, I got a. This is a real privilege. I'll hand you the cross and then you hand it to somebody else. This guy did all 14 of them, hit four. And I would imagine that these stations where they do it is at St. Peter's Yes. Are probably a little separated, probably spread out. They were at St. Gabe's because at St. Gabe's they were like.

[Patrick]

And that's not a balsa wood cross he was carrying?

[Joe]

No, that was a real deal. Yeah, that was the heavy one.

[Patrick]

Hey, this is the greatest week in golf, too.

[Joe]

Oh, yes. Masters week. We haven't. Haven't done enough with it in advance, that's for sure.

[Patrick]

I like Matt Fitzpatrick.

[Joe]

He's playing.

[Patrick]

Just for the hell of it.

[Joe]

He's playing. He's playing good.

[Bill]

We have confirmed Tiger is not playing.

[Patrick]

No. You know, he's now taking.

[Joe]

He's taking his treatment in. I got a hunch it's an island where you can see the. You know, maybe the waves.

[Patrick]

I got. I think it was he. He asked the public for compassion through one too many car wrecks.

[Joe]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Patrick]

I don't.

[Joe]

Yeah, they're down on him now.

[Patrick]

I. I don't think much of the fellow.

[Joe]

Somebody said to me the other day that. That they were. This kid, William Sawalich, the kid from here who was driving nascar, won the secondary race on Saturday. And somebody said, well, his dad's run Starkey. You know, that was the stepson of Starkey and Good Guy Brandon. But he said, well, when you got unlimited money, you can be successful as a driver. And I said, I don't know. Tiger's got a lot of money. He got one of the worst drivers in the history of man, for God's sake.

[Patrick]

I will say this, Ivana. We got to see all 20 years of the most amazing golf we'll ever see.

[Joe]

And what we got to see was 12 or 13 of fantastic years, three kind of mediocre years, and then came back and was fantastic again when we thought he was fading, you know. So. Yeah, I mean, the most amazing athlete of my lifetime, I think because he was winning golf tournaments 40% of the time.

[Patrick]

Plus he revolutionized the game.

[Joe]

The twins aren't going to win 40% of their games this year and he was winning golf tournaments 40%.

[Patrick]

And don't you think he changed the game? He introduced physical fitness to it. And these guys are all have trainers now and lifting weights.

[Joe]

You don't see a guy like Fuzzy with that pot belly and having a heater.

[Patrick]

Raymond Floyd guys are gone.

[Joe]

Well, they even allow him to have a heater if they want to sneak one.

[Patrick]

Well, I don't know how they could stop him because you could probably hide it.

[Joe]

I mean, you got to have the cup.

[Patrick]

You could cup it.

[Joe]

But the fact is I bet you

[Patrick]

there's still some smokers.

[Joe]

When he came on, half of them were pounding the heaters, I think. Yeah, Fuzzy was one of the great. He'd shoot a shot and have to have to, you know, put it in his pocket or something.

[Patrick]

Well, Nicholas and Palmer spoiled.

[Joe]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Bill]

I have a question.

[Joe]

That's right. Jack did before Barbara told him he had to quit.

[Bill]

I know you guys are anti Liv

[Joe]

and I get that.

[Bill]

What's this other deal we're trying to push on ESPN now?

[Patrick]

I haven't watched one second of it. TPL or something indoors.

[Joe]

They play it and you hit your drive and approach shot on a computer.

[Bill]

Oh my God.

[Joe]

Screen and then they have a green that you watch. I'm not watching. No.

[Bill]

Who are they marketing this to? The 20 year old?

[Joe]

The same idiots who watch Sonata Banana or whatever. We got them for here three days. Oh yeah. They're gonna draw more people than the

[Bill]

Twins do all season. Yes.

[Joe]

And the hell with them. I wouldn't watch it. Although there's a guy in the big leagues now who played for them apparently, oh, three years ago or something that

[Bill]

played for the Twins.

[Joe]

Savannah Banana.

[Bill]

Really?

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Well, they. It's not like the Harlem Globetrotters. They play real games, don't they?

[Joe]

They catch it behind their back. I don't know. I never watch that crap.

[Bill]

I will say this about them. They are getting young boys interested in baseball.

[Joe]

Oh God, yeah.

[Bill]

Which is what baseball needs desperately.

[Joe]

Except that you're gonna get to some little 10 year old punk out there at shortstop and you're gonna hit him a forbe hopper and he's gonna try to catch it behind his back. And we want you to stand in front of the ball.

[Patrick]

I don't want to be.

[Joe]

I would not be a good little league coach these days. No, I don't think.

[Patrick]

There was never an era in which you would have been a good one.

[Joe]

That's right. Yeah. I can't tell them the truth.

[Patrick]

I don't want to be down on the twins. I really don't want to be. But I wish the boys had more spunk. They're missing spunk.

[Joe]

You know what, you know what bothers me is they had a nice crowd on the opener and you know, 30. They announced 36, probably 30. And they like. We found out Minnesota likes $2 cans of beer. Yes, they do. I was shocked. There was Summit and then some Bud product and then Bud Light with something in it or something. Some Bud Light.

[Bill]

Bud Light, Lime.

[Joe]

Bud Light. Lime. Was it something. I don't know what it was.

[Bill]

But Joe had a theory about the two bucks.

[Joe]

I thought they were giving him a little cup with. You know, it was a real 12 ounce bottle can. But the big this kid is. Tristan Gray hit a grand slam in the bottom of the seventh. So there's a good cheer for that. But beyond that, the only thing the crowd got involved in was when somebody challenged it and they put on a video board. Whether it was a ball or a strike drove me nuts. We got too many of them. We got too many challenges.

[Patrick]

Do the boys have spunk?

[Joe]

I don't think they have. They don't get enough hits to have spunk, you gotta, if you're gonna have spunk, you gotta be on base once in a while. They had three hits, two games in a row.

[Patrick]

Ever since you said the ball's not in play enough. I've noticed it.

[Joe]

Oh, God.

[Bill]

Yeah, it's bad.

[Patrick]

It's not good.

[Joe]

And we're taking more pitches because of the, the machine. But I, I, you know what the

[Patrick]

league needs more Kirby Puckets.

[Joe]

Yes. He didn't have to worry about whether the ball was.

[Patrick]

He just swung at it. Let's go here.

[Joe]

He wasn't waiting around. That's right. So I, I don't know. It's. They're gonna, I think that it's gonna be one of those years where in June they're gonna, you know, the Culpepper kid will be here, the shortstop. And maybe Rodriguez, maybe Jenkins.

[Bill]

They have to do something because Brooks Lee is not a shortstop.

[Joe]

Well, he doesn't hit enough either. And the other kid, Tristan Gray's just an extra player even though he hit a slam. But, but yeah, they're just same. I think the, and that Rode on the outfielder. I think the reason they sent him down is and kept Altman as they wanted to get him some advance in St. Paul rather than be the fourth outfielder.

[Patrick]

But they got Detroit in town tonight.

[Joe]

Matt did something that. In the season opener. Was it the season opener? Yeah. Matt did something in the season opener that hadn't been done since 1965 by Bob Allison. Five strikeouts and five at bats. That's pretty cool. So had five, but I think it took him seven at bats, extra innings and somebody else had five too. But five strikeouts and five at bats. Allison's the only one who had ever done that for the Twins. Hey, Allison. Hey, Allison. How far did Yaz have you out at second when you blew the bleeping pennant? That was. That was the great Cliff Keane yelling at Allison at TINKERFIELD Alice, this 20 years later. Allison wanted to kill him.

[Patrick]

Cliff Keane. Cliff Keane, I remember him.

[Joe]

Hey, Mark. After they were got everybody left as free agents. Cliff knew him from Boston, you know, Cliff. And I'm sitting there talking to Mark in the front of the visitors dug out at Winter Haven. And here come and mock his out. God, here he comes. Here comes Cliff. Cliff's 50ft away. And he said, mark, what happened to your team? Who are these guys? Then Carew was there. Carew, who are these guys? Where'd your team go? A sportswriter. He's also the one. I wasn't there, but the legend is cause Fenway, back in the day, the press box, when you went, was a section lower than it is now. You could stick your head out there, the press box window, and talk to the catcher if you wanted to. Cliff walks in there, it's Shriners day, and there's 1500 Shriners marching around on the field. And Cliff says, get these bleeping Protestants off the field and let's play a ball game. He was crazy that he's also the one that gave me the nickname the Bear in the league because I walk in with Fowler. He knows Fowler and he says, hey, Fowler, where'd you get the bear to be insulted by Cliff is one of the highlights of my life.

[Patrick]

Who's the. Who is the great Boston writer? I'm thinking of the sports writer.

[Joe]

Monville.

[Patrick]

Montville. You remember the Montville column he did when. Remember, there was a lot of criticism. The Boston press was real hard on the team and they were threatened with losing their meal privileges.

[Joe]

Yes.

[Patrick]

And Monfield wrote this column about what a great meal this was, how it was served and how it was presented. And then he said, this Wonderful ball club that we follow is worth every moment of this fine dining experience. And it was wonderful.

[Joe]

He was there. They had a great columnist earlier who died in his 50s of cancer, Ray Fitzgerald. And Motville was just. Montville was like the young guy who was basically. Fitzgerald was his hero. Yeah. And Montville was in his room when he died. He was, you know, near death. Montville and a couple family members. And according to Montville's column, they had an outfielder named Juan Beniquez who got hit in the head with a ball and it bounced over the wall. And Ray was in and out of consciousness. And he saw that and he just got a big grin on his face. About 20 minutes later, he died. The last thing he saw, his Red Sox, who he'd ridiculed because you gotta remember they were horrible red socks until they. Until the twins, until 67. They came out of nowhere. They were terrible for, like, decades, you know. So, yeah, you got. Man, they had good writing back in the day. You go in there in their sports section, and I was in there once in.

[Patrick]

It's not like today, Pat.

[Joe]

No, no. They have yesterday's game in the paper, but I was in there in 77, maybe 70. When did they go down to the wire and the Yankees beat him on Bucky Dent's home run? Whenever that was.

[Patrick]

78, 79.

[Joe]

Whenever that was the next year, they were in Yankee Stadium for the first time in the middle of April. And the Twins. It was goofy. The Twins finished a series on Sunday and they didn't play in Boston until Wednesday. So we're in there on Monday or maybe Tuesday. Tuesday's paper, the Globe, had six reporters in New York for the first, six sports writers covering the first game in the last. The first series against the Yankees from the previous year. And it was the last game of that series.

[Patrick]

Did you ever see six of them? Did you ever see the. Curb your enthusiasm when Larry had Bucky Den on.

[Joe]

Oh, no, I missed it. Oh, And.

[Patrick]

And who was. Who was his fat buddy? The Larry's.

[Joe]

Yeah, the guy with. What was the wife's name? The guy married to the meanest woman in the history of mankind. What's her name?

[Bill]

I can't think of it.

[Joe]

He's the best.

[Patrick]

And Larry was supposed to get a side ball for him.

[Joe]

Bucky did.

[Patrick]

And he sees Bucky Dent at the autograph table. Jeff.

[Joe]

Jeff.

[Bill]

Yeah, Jeff Garland.

[Patrick]

He wanted an autograph ball from somebody else, but he saw Bucky Dent there. He got the ball autographed and he handed it to Bucky Come on with me. Come on over to Jeff's house. And the wife says, who's this? And Larry says, bucky Dent. And Jeff goes, oh geez. Cause they all remember the ball going through his legs and. And Bucky threw the ball to Jeff. Went right out the window. And the wife said, you call yourself a ballplayer?

[Joe]

She just laid into him just like

[Patrick]

it was a Boston situation.

[Joe]

Susie, wasn't it?

[Patrick]

Susie? Susie.

[Joe]

Susie was. Remember when he was over there? What was he giving the dog? The dog. He was over. He gave her the dog and then he had to get the dog back, right? What was the deal? He had to get the dog back. And he goes over there and the mother's not home and he starts giving the daughter. He's babysitting the daughter for like an hour. He starts giving her grape juice and it's wine. She gets. So. So he comes back and he's there to steal the dog back. And he. Pretty soon he's running out and Susie comes out and says, Larry, you four eyed bleep. You got my daughter drunk and you stole her dog. Oh God, she was great, Susie. And she hated her husband. Oh, it's terrible. She hated him. God, that. I don't know how they could. What'd they do? 10 years, right? I think.

[Patrick]

Who wins tonight?

[Bill]

Michigan wins, but it'll be close.

[Joe]

Michigan might win. I hope they win. We got a kid from Stewartville on the team. He's about the seventh man. Sixth or seventh man.

[Bill]

What's the last name?

[Joe]

William Cheddar.

[Bill]

Oh, yeah, okay. That's right.

[Joe]

And he's kind of the spiritual leader of the outfit. And he plays. Plays some. He was a great player here. Gophers wanted him bad and he committed to Michigan and never entered the transfer portal.

[Bill]

Did you guys happen to catch any of the alternate cast from Saturday night? They had the Fab Five and I'm a bit as big a Fab Five fan as there is out there. They had all five of the guys with. I forget the broadcaster, he's really, really good.

[Joe]

Now what was this in an alternate broadcast?

[Bill]

Yeah. So the regular was on tnt, is that right? And then the other one was on TBS or vice versa.

[Patrick]

TNT tonight. The networks don't have this?

[Joe]

No, tnt. They paid for it.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

Geez.

[Joe]

So there are all the fiber. Fab Fiber. Limited.

[Bill]

They were there. Set. I don't know if they're doing it again tonight, but they were.

[Joe]

Chris Weber,

[Bill]

who was fired by Michigan two years ago. Jalen Rose, Jimmy King and Ray Jackson.

[Joe]

Ray Jackson? Yeah. That was it. You know who. You know who wanted to be part of that team, but they didn't offer him Bashawn Leonard.

[Bill]

Oh, that's right.

[Joe]

I'm leading scorer and Gopher history.

[Bill]

Because didn't he play with one of those guys in high school?

[Joe]

Yeah, he was a Detroit kid. And they all wanted to be in the Fab Five.

[Bill]

Boy, he was a good Gopher man.

[Joe]

He was a good player. Yep.

[Patrick]

Speaking of that, that team could not have existed in the Portal era.

[Joe]

No. Somebody would have.

[Patrick]

No.

[Bill]

Well, maybe for a year, but you

[Patrick]

get one year, according to Pitino.

[Joe]

Yeah.

[Patrick]

You get one year.

[Joe]

Yeah, Right.

[Bill]

I get a call at about 10:15, whatever night that was Wednesday night or Thursday night. Are you watching this? I said, dad, you were the only human being alive watching this Gopher basketball game right now.

[Joe]

He was very disappointed that they were fading in the second half.

[Bill]

Ken Spaylor.

[Patrick]

I said, is this that thing in Vegas?

[Bill]

I said, why are you up watching this? He's as dedicated as they come, though.

[Joe]

I. I saw 10 minutes of that game and 10 minutes of another one. The Crown tournament appeared to be sparsely attended.

[Bill]

Oh, tickets were available. Tickets were available.

[Joe]

85. What are. Who. Who's accomplishing something?

[Bill]

Well, they're getting nil money for this. Whoever is the main.

[Joe]

I know that, but who's. Who's putting it on? Who's.

[Bill]

I would guess it's some type of gambling site association. I bet that that's what it's.

[Patrick]

What's women's basketball gonna do? Were there any close games in the tournament?

[Joe]

Well, I'll say one thing. Gino got him a lot of publicity by acting like a jackass. But somebody says, somebody texted me, boy, that Gino's a bad loser. I says, well, he hasn't had much practice. That's his problem. You know, he loses about one game every year. But she. Everybody said, well, she really got in his head. She got in his head here in 2022.

[Patrick]

Is her name Staley?

[Joe]

Dawn Staley. Tough city kid, man. But. But they played in the final here, and Paige was on that team. Oh, yeah, and they were. UConn was slight favors. And her. Her collection of city kids ate their lunch. They had a guard, remember? Was it Destiny Henderson, who was the five foot three guard? And she never got more than a foot away from Paige Becker's the whole game, including when Paige went over to the sideline, she followed her over there, and they just ate his lunch here. And he. He kind of saw the new version of women's basketball there. And was a little paranoid. Now, the last two years they'd won titles and they were unbeaten last year, right?

[Bill]

Well, they hadn't lost a game yet this year.

[Joe]

No, they were unbeaten again. This would have been his third unbeaten national champion, but he's. He had to feel a little. He just, you know, he went in that game, obviously expected to win, and South Carolina just drilled them.

[Bill]

Well, that ucla, that the, the tall one from ucla. Wow.

[Joe]

There's a very good chance they're going to have her here. The Lakes, they got the second draft choice and supposedly.

[Bill]

How do they have the number two

[Joe]

pick in the trade they made? Oh, that one year they made that. They got some team's number one draft choice and that team became terrible. Chicago, I think they got Chicago's pick.

[Patrick]

Wow. Did the lady set a salary cap in the pros or can they pay Caitlin anything they want?

[Joe]

No, they. They set a salary cap, but there is a. There is now a supermax like they have in the NBA, but it's not quite as big as the supermax, but I. They can pay Caitlin 3,4 million or something. But. But I think most of the veterans are going to. You know, the really good veterans are going to. They were making 250,000. They might be making a million now. But I don't know how you can have expansion draft before free agency. It's about 75% of their players are free agents.

[Patrick]

Who's coming into the league?

[Joe]

Toronto.

[Patrick]

Okay.

[Joe]

With Jackson Lakefield, Minnesota's own Teresa Resch running that team up in Toronto. Good luck to her trying to put a team together during this whole lockout and get an arena situation figured out. But they were selling tickets pretty good. And then Portland is coming in the league, too.

[Patrick]

Sophie Cunningham is becoming quite the social media star.

[Joe]

Yeah, I'll see.

[Patrick]

She's a character, if you know what I'm saying.

[Bill]

An attractive young woman.

[Patrick]

Well, she is, but she's also a

[Bill]

good player and she's an enforcer. That's what people like about her. She likes to protect Caitlin.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Is she ready to get drafted then or. She's in playing with Caitlin if they end up in the same team, right? No, no, they are.

[Bill]

She's on Caitlin Clark's team.

[Joe]

Yeah, well, we got free agency now, don't we?

[Patrick]

Oh, I don't think Caitlin go anywhere. Yeah, she's not going anywhere.

[Bill]

She's the Marty McSorley for Caitlin Clark.

[Joe]

Caitlin Clark.

[Patrick]

Boy, is she fun to watch.

[Joe]

Caitlin's boyfriend for a while was McCaffrey, but now I don't know if she has a boyfriend.

[Bill]

Oh, I don't.

[Joe]

I'm not sure. McCaffrey's kid.

[Bill]

Yeah.

[Joe]

For a while at Iowa.

[Bill]

Red. Fran's red face.

[Joe]

Yeah. I'm anxious to see her back in the court because she. Can she come by. She give me one of these. You know, she gave me one of these.

[Patrick]

Well, you discovered.

[Joe]

I did discover her. And. And, you know, she was a little disappointed in me when I stepped on her cell phone.

[Patrick]

That'll happen. It was a bustling crowd.

[Joe]

Yes. Yes.

[Bill]

And was that the final four here? Was that one.

[Patrick]

That was.

[Joe]

She was back with the.

[Bill]

With the fever.

[Joe]

Back with the fever. Okay. Okay. Or was it the Big Ten tournament? I can't remember.

[Bill]

It might have been the Big Ten tournament. I think that's what it was.

[Patrick]

Yeah.

[Joe]

Because she came out to hug her teammate, the center, Zeno.

[Bill]

Okay.

[Joe]

Was here. Good. She came out to hug her, and I didn't notice that she'd put some. Put something on the floor. I did not. I did not stand on full force. Oh, that would have been trouble. It would have been a lot of parts. It would have been a lot of phone numbers of important people that would have been destroyed.

[Patrick]

See, I didn't. I didn't. Before we go, I didn't ask you.

[Joe]

Yes.

[Patrick]

What did you think of our president's very nice Christmas or Easter message?

[Joe]

It kind of renewed my Catholic spirit.

[Patrick]

It did. It was uplifting, wasn't it?

[Joe]

It was really good.

[Patrick]

Holy mackerel.

[Joe]

And it. By the way, his people have been frantically deleting all his posts about how stupid it was for us to be fighting the previous war with Iran. There's all kinds of them. About what a terrible decision that was. I don't know how he got talked into this. I just don't get it.

[Patrick]

Do you have a number for gas that you'll stop by at?

[Joe]

I don't know what.

[Patrick]

I don't know what the number's gonna be.

[Joe]

Yeah. When's the last. We went. We hit four when we're at four. Right now we're getting.

[Patrick]

I gotta buy Premium, so it's 4:50.

[Bill]

I paid 339 this morning.

[Patrick]

For regular. Yeah, 88. That's about. That's. You can live with it.

[Joe]

You know what? You know what is always empty at the pump now, even people. Whatever one is the cheapest is always. You know, even if it's not the one that's supposed to go in your car. Everybody's putting that one in, so. Yeah, I don't. Luckily, I have a Fine Buick convertible from Jim. No, Jim Paul's former place. But Jim Paul, good mines. It's the. It's pretty dang good. Yeah, it's good.

[Bill]

Valley Group of GM Dealers Valley Group

[Joe]

of GM Dealers Cedar Avenue 147th Go out there and pick up some of these SUVs have fine mileage so we can test them here. And anyway, I would recommend highly that you go out there right now because I'm sure we're trying to move some, move some metal, as they say, don't you? And the we got the low interest rates and high rebates and financial people that can make it happen for you. Now is a great time to buy a Buick because there's a lot of people who are nervous right now. And the Buick gives you that sturdy base to go about your lives here in America. Valley group of GM dealers 147th and

[Podcast Host 1]

Cedar hey garage logicians, stick around for a preview of this week's American Experiment podcast. We're covering the DFL's proposal to create a new tax on ICE agents. The continuing debate over earmarks for nonprofits, or as I like to call it, corruption, and then a firestorm of top hits from the Capitol that you won't want to miss. On the back half. We're talking to Bill Walsh about our brand new polling on Minnesotans views towards immigration since Operation Metro Surge. We got everything you need to know in here, starting with the DFL proposing to tax ICE agents. They have a whole bunch of bills that they've proposed aiming at ICE agents in particular, things that have to do with trying to rein in the federal government, things that are clearly not legal or irrelevant now that this is kind of over.

[Podcast Host 2]

Yeah, but really good pr.

[Podcast Host 1]

Yes, but really good pr. So on Wednesday, a bill in the House Taxes Committee would require those agents who weren't Minnesota residents but made more than $15,000 in wages while working here to file a Minnesota tax return. They think they could bring in $600,000 this way. Democrats argue that the whole operation cost a lot in state and local resources, so these agents should pay their fair share. Minnesotans will effectively subsidize a federal enforcement operation that they did not request and that they do not support, said Representative Athena Hollins. Moreover, enforcing this requirement sends an important message. Minnesota will not allow its tax base to be eroded by temporary federal deployments that shift costs on our communities. Well, Minnesota taxes nonresident income already and that applies to federal government employees. Currently, a person needs to earn about 15,000 from Minnesota Sources to be required to file and remit as a non resident. That would apply to any ICE officer who's here long enough to meet that threshold too. However, the bill creates separate treatment for the ICE officers, of course, subjecting them to tax on the first dollar of their income. So while Minnesotans tax authorities can make federal law enforcement abide by the same rules they impose on everyone else, obviously legally they cannot discriminate against them. And yet they propose this bill anyway.

[Podcast Host 2]

They have to treat ICE officers the same as professional athletes, basically, is what this is. Because we talk about this a lot, I think. Actually our economist John Phelan does a lot of work on professional sports and incomes. And when a professional athlete comes to town and works in our town, plays a basketball game or a hockey game or a football game or whatever, they certainly make more than 15,000. Many of them do, even if you split their income, millions of dollars over the course of a game. So they all have these guys, these guys that play professional sports have accountants that have to split up their state income tax around the country.

[Podcast Host 1]

So it just impacts all kinds of people. Lawyers, pilots. Pilots don't like flying to California because they have to separate that out at a higher level.

[Podcast Host 2]

So of course we're going to single out ICE activity because it's worse than all those other things. I just disagree with the premise. Of course, her premise is that ICE came and came and then all these costs were borne by state and local governments because ICE came to town. If ICE comes to town and does their job and there are no protests, no one knows ICE is here, they'd make their arrests. There's no strain on state and local government. All I would say 90% of the strain on state and local government is from the protests that occurred. Trying to stop and impede and protest what ICE was doing.

[Podcast Host 1]

That was a preview of the American Experiment podcast. Tune in every Tuesday afternoon, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Mark Ellis]

Garagelogic isn't just another podcast. It's a trusted voice with a loyal audience. Every day, listeners tune in and pay attention to the businesses we feature. When you advertise with garagelogic, you're putting your brand in front of people who listen and act. We're number one in Anguilla, and we'll make your business number one with G. Ellers. Here's what one of our clients had to say.

[Bill]

Hey, it's Pete Arnold from Hire it Pro. And I've used garagelogic to promote my

[Joe]

business for years and I've seen great

[Bill]

results and new clients for my services

[Joe]

from the GL audience. I recommend it to any business looking for new customers. G leers are pretty awesome. You just gotta ask for an introduction.

[Mark Ellis]

You just heard how garagelogic delivers results for our advertising partners. Now it's your turn. Reach our engaged audience of glers and grow your business by contacting account executive mark [e-mail] that's mark.ellisbi.com Put your message where it belongs, right in the ears of listeners who trust garagelogic.