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Pat
It's a world of artificial intelligence, of limited character tweets, of mini clips on TikTok. My name's Mishke, and the Mishke podcast offers something wholly different. The lost art of simple human storytelling. Whether humorous tales, absurd narratives, or real drama, telling stories is my stock in trade. So escape to the very human Mishke podcast wherever you get your podcasts.
Joe
Everybody talked about it since I first moved to Oregon. The big one. The earthquake that trashed the whole West Coast. Total destruction. Officially calling it the largest natural disaster in American history. I just didn't know what would help me next. So I took it all. Even the gun. It was time. Cello American Afterlife presented by Pair of Thieves, the number one fiction and drama podcast in America. Listen wherever you get your favorite podcasts available now. He said, hey, oh, I'll mention this. So I was shocked to pick up the Star Tribune sports section.
Pat
Print today.
Joe
Six pages, I thought. Except two and a half of them are classified
Pat
Public notices.
Joe
Yes, public notices we love. So the.
Pat
Wait a minute. It's a two page sports section. Oh no, there's three. There's one in the back and there's four.
Joe
Four pages. But well, no, because one of the pages that's one of the four pages is also half classified ad. So it's three.
Pat
Did you want any baseball scores?
Joe
I think the Twins. I think the Twins game made it.
Pat
Well, it did 3 to 1. White Sox.
Guest or Co-host
Wasn't it over at about 3:30?
Joe
White Sox, I hate to report, they're better. They got some young guys. They got some. They've all rottenness allowed them to get some young fellows.
Guest or Co-host
Plus they've made some decent trades too. When they traded Crochet to Boston and they traded that other guy, they got some decent returns.
Joe
Joe?
Pat
Yes?
Joe
Have you seen this? Polack for the Brewers. Have you seen this?
Pat
Is he the sidearm guy?
Joe
No, no, over the top.
Guest or Co-host
He's about 6, 10, 102.
Joe
And then he, then he has to Speed it up a little once in a while. Mr. Rosky, even by Polish names, he throws a couple of extra vowels in there. It's impossible to spell. I saw him yesterday, seven innings. They hit four foul balls. It was unbelievable. God almighty.
Pat
So he's good.
Joe
He was the one who came up last year and they put him in the all star game after four starts.
Pat
Yes.
Joe
Everybody went crazy. Well, guess what? He was. He got. Didn't he get shut down for a while last year?
Guest or Co-host
He was on a pit at an innings count or something.
Joe
Some little tweak. But he's back this year.
Pat
Did he beat the Cardinals?
Joe
Oh God, they had no chance. Five to one he went seven. He gave up one run. I don't know. I missed him giving up the run. But it's unbelievable. He is just gas. But the thing about the gas is it's 101 is like get it over fastball. That's, you know, that's. And then once in a while he's eh, I better speed this up a little bit.
Guest or Co-host
He's a right handed version almost of when Aroldis first came up.
Joe
Yeah.
Guest or Co-host
Where he could reach back and get
Joe
103 if he needed him starting. Yeah. And it's, it's fantastic.
Pat
I did not watch.
Joe
Oh, excuse me.
Pat
Oh, you go ahead.
Joe
No, I said he didn't pitch. When they were here for three games.
Pat
I did not watch the NBA Finals. I mean the conference finals saw the end of a few games. Why am I reading now that Cleveland was disgusting?
Joe
Well, they got blown out.
Pat
No, I know they were swept, but did they not try?
Guest or Co-host
Oh no.
Pat
Barkley played these guys well last night.
Joe
You know, you get all the fun. You know, the coach, Kenny Atkinson, who's got no chance to be back next year, saying, you know, we, you know, we're in. We're all in on this game. We know the odds are against us and the team's all fired up. And then they came out and it was what, 30 to 10 or something like that. I mean it was the Knicks to 16 and late in the third and everybody. I turned it off when they cut it to six. I saw they cut it to 16, went back and watched the hockey for 10 minutes, five minutes maybe.
Guest or Co-host
Something like that. Yeah.
Joe
Turned it back was 84 to 49.
Guest or Co-host
The stat was the Knicks have the fourth largest point differential in playoff history. Something like that. That's how badly they outscored their opponent so far.
Joe
Yeah. I don't know how Cleveland beat Detroit, but man alive, they were terrible.
Pat
Where is the other series stand 2 2. It's a good series, so all the Knicks can rest.
Joe
It's great. I called Jim Pete today to talk about Wemby. He's the tall guys, you know, And I said, Wemby and Akeem. He said Hakeem was 6:10. He said. He said they listened him at 7. I. Pete played with him and he said he's 6:10. He's the same height as I am. This guy's 7:7. He said 7:4 is way underneath it. 7:6 is probably it, but it could be 7:7. He said, and what a. I mean, when you see a guy 7 1/2ft tall handling the ball, there's something wrong with the world. We're getting the mean.
Pat
He can do stuff.
Joe
The geometry is not going to work.
Pat
He can dribble and everything.
Joe
Did you see the one he threw in at halftime?
Pat
Yeah, he made it.
Joe
He's apparently made seven out of eight of those this year or something. He basically told him, let me shoot this thing.
Guest or Co-host
I got to play this for you. So, Pat, you obviously missed it.
Joe
Charles.
Guest or Co-host
This was Charles last night. Ripping. Ripping the effort from the Cleveland Cavaliers,
Joe
calling me for when I'm on the God damn radio.
Guest or Co-host
The game of flaws on full display.
Pat
Maybe she's trapped in the bushes.
Joe
Well, that's her. She hurt. Somebody told her about me telling the story.
Pat
By the way, that didn't help. Where are you, honey? I can't see it.
Joe
It's been bad.
Pat
All you saw were the toes of her shoes.
Joe
Who ratted me out?
Pat
Not ratted.
Joe
I don't know who ratted me out.
Guest or Co-host
Sir Toe. Joel. Terrible.
Joe
He told her. You're making fun of the wife.
Pat
Oh, no.
Guest or Co-host
You know that's supposed to be off limits.
Joe
Yes, it is. It is.
Guest or Co-host
All right, here's Sir Charles on the effort level for the Cleveland Cavaliers starting tonight.
Pat
Chuck has requested special time to begin the halftime report.
Joe
Special time. Yeah, Kids at home, if you want
Pat
to see what the word quit.
Joe
Oh, come on, Chuck. To give the verb for that is cavalier.
Pat
This is what you see. You think they quit or the Knicks are just that good, right? No, they have. They were down 29. Kenny, Kenny, look. This is just effort here. Come on, man. This is just effort.
Joe
Look at this here.
Guest or Co-host
Yeah, you couldn't.
Joe
You shouldn't be spreading. No, no.
Pat
Watch this here. I got a little thing here. Look here. Come on, Kim.
Joe
Yeah, there was way, way
Pat
fast. Break points, 26 to 3. Come on, man.
Joe
Yeah. No, no. Yeah. Okay, okay. We got some more now. No, no, they didn't beat him down a quarter. They showing deep him down the court.
Pat
Oh, my God.
Joe
Oh, my.
Pat
Are we sure it's only 26? The verb in that is cavalier.
Guest or Co-host
And that's why he makes $100 billion a year right there.
Joe
It is amazing how this show changed everything as far as how sports are performed. I mean, they were the first guys to come out and rip the hell out of me. And he does it in such a humorous fashion. He can get away with it. But other. Other sports are having a hard time getting there and they.
Guest or Co-host
Well, they're all trying to replicate it is the problem.
Joe
Whenever you watch an NFL game, it's still all fawning. You know, they don't half time. They don't rip anybody or anything.
Guest or Co-host
Fox kind of tried to do this.
Joe
Don't have a Barkley. Yes, that's true.
Guest or Co-host
Well, that's what I was gonna say. Fox tried to do with baseball by having Poppy and a rod and those guys on there. But it's. You're never gonna create that kind of chemistry.
Pat
Plus, he's just a really interesting human being.
Joe
Oh, yes.
Pat
Just an interesting guy.
Joe
He's skinny again because he's taking that. He's getting paid a ton by that drug, too. Oh, but no, it was something like that. It's not Ozempic, but it's the same thing. And so he's kidding. But he'll put her back on the next. I mean, he's gone up and down more than anybody I've ever seen.
Guest or Co-host
After I played the clip for you on Friday, I had to watch the entire 25 minute reel of Barkley ripping the big old girls from San Antonio. I had it going on in here
Joe
while I was doing fields. I bet he's. I bet he just bite his tongue that he can't do that.
Pat
He has a guy who does a podcast who does it. Sean Avery. I'm thinking of. Oh, maybe former Ranger.
Guest or Co-host
Yeah.
Pat
And I've been alerted to a few of his podcasts and he. He's funny. He calls it as he sees it. Okay. But they don't have any TV presence like Barkley.
Guest or Co-host
Didn't he also get into trouble, though? He was talking about certain players. Girlfriends.
Pat
He's all over the map.
Guest or Co-host
I thought.
Joe
I thought that was. Yeah, yeah. I don't think Charles is going to bring up girlfriends.
Guest or Co-host
No, I don't think so either.
Joe
That might have been a flaw in his. In his.
Guest or Co-host
You know, man, I wanted to go to the bar.
Joe
I think. I think the one when he was my favorite was in Milwaukee. He's walking in the skyway after the game and he's got a gal with him. And this guy comes up and says, you know, it's kind of like in a kind of a threatening manner. And Charles just dropped him. Just dropped. You know, he came up and he was gonna be a smart ass Milwaukee fan. Then he had to go to court and they acquitted him.
Guest or Co-host
Oh, that's right.
Joe
I remember that.
Guest or Co-host
Yes, I do remember that. Well, that was the whole campaign there. He says, I am not a role model. Wasn't that the whole bit? Yeah, that was the whole bit from that.
Joe
Yeah. Well, anyway, I love him.
Guest or Co-host
Oh, he's great.
Joe
It's a great series. It really is. But you know what they did, though, Torico, who's the best ever, I think, don't you? He's pretty damn good. Every sport. He can do every sport. And they've been ripping the game a little of the spurs, but they showed three or four SGA's, flops. And talk about it, you know, they're not hiding the idea that.
Guest or Co-host
Well, it's him, Reggie Miller and is it Van Gundy who's on with them?
Joe
Oh, not Van Gundy.
Guest or Co-host
It's whoever that three.
Joe
Crawford. Is that.
Guest or Co-host
Oh, yeah, it's. You're right, it's Crawford.
Joe
That's Timberwolf.
Guest or Co-host
That's right.
Joe
Who doesn't get a word in edgewise. But he's okay.
Guest or Co-host
Yeah.
Joe
Once in a while when he said,
Guest or Co-host
but I like that group. I think that's. Yeah, that's a good crew, you know,
Joe
And I think Tariko could do hockey if you asked him.
Guest or Co-host
Well, he went from.
Pat
He has. Did he do the Olympics?
Joe
Did he do the Olympics?
Guest or Co-host
Oh, Pat, you're right.
Joe
He did the gold medal.
Guest or Co-host
Because that just shows you right there. He did. In a span of a month, he did the Olympics. He did the Super Bowl. And I'm thinking. What? There was something else he did too. All within the span of like 30 days. It was very impressive.
Joe
How do you do? Hi. If you didn't grow up with it. How do you do hockey? I don't know how you do it.
Pat
I still miss Doc Emery.
Joe
Oh, God. Yeah, Doc was good, but we all
Pat
miss Al and my Canadians. I have a sinking feeling, really, they aren't very good. They're not as good as Carolina.
Joe
They somehow they look like they might win another one of those games with nine shots for a while last night.
Pat
And then they had to go straight over.
Joe
What do you think of the goal I took away? That should have been taken away, You Think so.
Pat
That was clearly offsides.
Joe
Yeah. Yeah, it was offside.
Guest or Co-host
How about your Colorado athletes? Avalanche, by the way.
Pat
I can't understand it, except McKinnon's not playing up to speed. Neither is Makar.
Joe
Not McCarr came back. But. But 3o lead after one and you get beat. That ain't a good way to go out, man. Vegas. But how about Torts Torch, who won his one cup in 2004?
Pat
With what? Tampa.
Joe
Tampa?
Pat
Yeah.
Joe
He's home.
Pat
He's.
Joe
That might have been the worst final ever. Judd was telling me how rotten that final was. Tampa. And somebody, I don't know who, but. And you know, he was at home, hired him for the last eight games of the year in the playoffs. They knew they were going to make the playoffs. What are they going to do now? Give him 5 million to come back or what?
Pat
I don't know.
Joe
They're going to win it. I mean, they're going to win the title. They're going to beat Carolina. Outline it, don't you think? I hope they beat Carolina. I can take Vegas having two Stanley Cups because it's kind of the thing. But they have two Stanley Cups in North Carolina and five in Florida.
Pat
Just prior to last night. Prior to last night, I think the stat was the Carolinas won the cup in, oh, six. Since then, they have been one in 17 in conference final games.
Joe
Really? Until.
Pat
Well, last night they won.
Joe
Yeah.
Pat
So the one might have been the
Joe
first 17 because it didn't. Did this make it 2 to 1? I thought I made it 3 to 2.
Pat
This makes it 2 1. Carolina. They came to Montreal 1 1.
Joe
This was only the third game.
Pat
Yeah.
Joe
Okay. All right. So they got swept a lot then.
Pat
Apparently. You Reavers, maybe you want to look that up.
Guest or Co-host
I'm gonna do it right now. I'm gonna do it right now.
Joe
It's kind of.
Guest or Co-host
Carolina is up two games to one.
Joe
I knew that.
Guest or Co-host
Okay. Oh, that. I thought you. That's what you're asking.
Joe
Carolina Panthers record in conference playoffs. Okay, I can do this 2004.
Guest or Co-host
All right, Joe, if you want to do one of those while I look that up, you can.
Pat
Well, I'm going to tell you about Rosedale Chevrolet. They're a business elite dinner. You know what? That. I did it again.
Guest or Co-host
It's okay. It happens.
Pat
Why am I doing that? They're a business elite dealer.
Joe
Dealer Cavalier.
Pat
You're not going there to eat. You're going there to buy a truck. Because as a business elite dealer, they've got more trucks than any other dealer in town.
Joe
It's free coffee and donuts.
Pat
They got all that stuff and a huge selection of 1500s and 3/4 tons and 1 tons and box trucks and steak trucks and low cab forwards, express cargo vans. I mean if you're in the flooring business, landscapers, electricians, plumbers, siding, roofing guys, this is the place to go. They've got all the Chevrolet trucks in stock and a dedicated commercial truck sales department with a combined 75 years of experience. And this is the largest selection you're going to find. They're all at Rosedale Chevrolet at 35W and County Road C in Roseville. And if you need more, rosedalechev.com But I've seen the inventory and there's no reason you're not going to get what you want today. It is all ready for delivery at this moment. Rosedalechev.com I have their records.
Guest or Co-host
So as you mentioned. Oh, I'm sorry.
Joe
Say something.
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American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
On a July morning in 1991, Detective Mike King's life changed forever.
Pat
I don't think I'll ever forget that first moment when I saw her.
American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
A young woman made a startling confession. She'd recently been a member of a cult.
Pat
I had to consider the fact that her involvement meant that she could actually be one of the predators.
American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
Gardens of Evil Inside the Zion Society Cult is the fifth season of the award winning series American Nightmares. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.
Joe
Go ahead. Remember Joe, 30 years ago when somebody told you they bought a truck? Yeah. Knew what they were talking about.
Pat
Yep.
Guest or Co-host
He outfitted it. Yes.
Pat
They've got so many different kind of trucks, it's unbelievable.
Joe
And, well, it's good variety.
Guest or Co-host
That's right. Here you go. Okay, so I know what stat you read. So in 02, they obviously defeated the Maple Leafs, advanced the cup finals and lost 06. Defeated Buffalo, advanced Stanley cup finals and won the Cup.
Pat
Who'd they beat in 06?
Guest or Co-host
I can look that up in a second. In 2019, they were swept by the Bruins.
Pat
That's 0 and 4.
Guest or Co-host
Swept by the Panthers in 23.
Pat
Oh, and 8.
Guest or Co-host
And then they are 1 and 2 against the Canadiens. So last night was their first victory since 2006. So they're 1 in 16 or no. Excuse me. They're 1 in 1 in 10 since then.
Pat
Well, then, what did I read? I wonder.
Guest or Co-host
I'm not sure. But this was their first victory since 2006.
Pat
Yeah. No, no. The other night was their first victory. Last night they won again.
Joe
They won.
Pat
They won in overtime in Carolina to even the series. And they moved to Montreal for last night's game and they won that.
Guest or Co-host
How was the viewing party in Montreal?
Pat
Crowded.
Joe
I bet it was out on the street outside with you people. Stay home and watch the game. Go to the bar.
Guest or Co-host
Anyway, I will look up who the.
Joe
I gotta. I gotta go off sports for a minute and ask you something.
Pat
Okay.
Joe
As a American. Oh, a man who believes in America.
Pat
Yes.
Joe
What do you think of these two parties going into states and changing the geography to get. This is. This is not democracy, ladies and gentlemen. You cannot do that. You gotta have. You can only do it every 10 years. What the hell is going on?
Pat
Well, the better question is why does everybody do what this guy tells them to?
Joe
Well, yeah, but then the Democrats.
Pat
Democrats do it, too.
Joe
They're doing it, too. It's ridiculous.
Pat
Because they love that life on the third rail and they don't want to lose their power.
Joe
Well, but you can't do this. Somewhere there's a document that says you can only do it every 10 years, and all of a sudden they can do it tomorrow because, you know, it's the damnedest thing I've ever seen.
Pat
And it's. It's. Well, I don't even know where to go anymore, Pat. I'm at the two plus two equals five part of life.
Joe
Well, that is it. That is it. I first saw this and said, well, this isn't going to work. Somebody's going to. Some court's going to say, you can't do this.
Pat
But so far they haven't done that.
Joe
No.
Pat
No.
Joe
Then. Anyway, back to sports.
Guest or Co-host
They beat Edmonton, by the way.
Joe
The 06. Yes. Really?
Guest or Co-host
They beat Edmonton in the final.
Joe
How many games?
Guest or Co-host
It was four to three.
Joe
Two traditional hockey towns.
Guest or Co-host
Yes.
Joe
North Carolina and Edmonton. Right.
Pat
Well, I'll give Edmonton more credibility than Raleigh, North Carolina. Although I played in the NHL, that's the team I'd want to play for.
Joe
Carolina, though, is not an expansion team. It's the Har.
Pat
They were the Hartford Whalers.
Joe
Yes. They've been down there alongside probably 40 years. When did the Hartford Whalers move to Raleigh?
Guest or Co-host
It was seven games just to. I wanted to verify. When did Hudo.
Joe
Who.
Pat
Throwing a lot of questions at you. That's okay.
Joe
When did they move to Raleigh?
Guest or Co-host
Hartford Whalers.
Joe
I like.
Guest or Co-host
They had the great logo, too.
Joe
Yeah.
Pat
But so did the hurricane. They got. Now the. The storm warning flags on their jersey. I think that's cool. I like it.
Guest or Co-host
The Hartford Whalers were a professional hockey team based.
Pat
We know that.
Guest or Co-host
1979 to 1997.
Joe
And they were one of the wha. Survivors for some reason. Yeah. I don't know why?
Pat
Well, because of Gordie. Ow. They.
Joe
That's right.
Pat
They. They moved to Raleigh for the 98 season.
Guest or Co-host
For the 98 season, yes.
Pat
So that's 22. That's 28 years.
Joe
Yeah, 28 years. I think one of my lowest moments as a columnist, and there's been a few, was when I went to the Civic center and saw Gordy played for the Whalers and wrote get that old SOB off the ice. He's terr.
Pat
Well, that'd be tough to write that.
Joe
Yeah. Right. Well, he's 48 then. Yeah. For playing with his kid brothers. But he's ambling.
Pat
No, that's kid brothers. His kids.
Joe
Kids. That's what I mean, his kids. Unbelievable.
Pat
You remember when the goal.
Joe
Marty was good, right? Yeah.
Pat
You remember when the goal used to have a pointed base of metal in the middle of it?
Joe
Yes.
Pat
Well, it was because of one of Howe's kids. Damn near killed himself, disemboweled himself on that thing. That they changed the design of the nets.
Joe
It's incredible how long it took the NHL to give any credence to safety at all.
Pat
The metal were in with iron pipes, so if you ran into the net, you died. Or
Joe
there goes your cad, you know, your leg, your broken leg, you'll never play again. They resisted helmets and. Yes. And the goalies didn't wear masks.
Pat
No.
Joe
It's unbelievable.
Pat
Jacques Plante was the first guy to wear a mask, and that was in the early 60s.
Joe
And remember what the old timer. What a bunch of sissies. These guys are wearing helmets.
Pat
Yeah.
Joe
What are they doing wearing helmets, for God's sakes? It's unbelievable.
Guest or Co-host
Kill, kill, kill.
Pat
This is hockey. But compared to other sports, they still will play more hurt than anybody else. They'll get sewn up.
Joe
Yeah, they will.
Pat
Eyeballs are falling out.
Joe
Right. I mean, they will go. I mean, McKinnon damn near got killed.
Pat
89 mile an hour, slap shot. Hit him where there weren't no pads.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
And he went.
Joe
Oh, man, that hurts. Two shifts later.
Pat
Yeah. He was not himself, though.
Joe
No, he was.
Pat
I don't think he did about a 10 second shift. And said, oh, I'm getting back to the bench.
Joe
I don't think he's been the same since.
Pat
But I just don't even like the whole concept of the Vegas. I just. I can't get there.
Joe
I can't get there. I know, but it's.
Pat
You know, they've been in the business since 2017. They've already had more Laudits than the Wild in the state of Hawkins.
Joe
Yes, that's true. But then again, the Avalanche, although they
Pat
had a team early, they were the Quebec Nordics.
Joe
Yes. But they were the.
Pat
They were also Kansas City Scouts. Became the Colorado Rockies, lasted one year.
Joe
Right.
Pat
Then went to New Jersey to become the Devils. Then the Quebec Nordiques, after a while,
Joe
moved to Colorado, and then they moved there, and lo and behold, seven months later, Colorado won the cup after having the.
Pat
Joe Sakic is now their gm.
Joe
Yes. I told you last week that I was having fun with the. I've always rooted for Colorado because they had this long wait from a October of 1999 to May of 2000 before they won a Cup. Meanwhile, we have been waiting since 67.
Pat
I've watched more playoffs this year than any other year. Now I'm watching them precisely to try to figure out who is it the Wild continue to need? Who do they still need? What guys do they. What kind of guys do they still need?
Joe
All the geniuses say first line center, but can't EK Be your first line center? Yes. And then have somebody else be on the second line. That's kind of my. They like Caprice off with Zuk, though, for some reason, right? Yeah. And Zook's 38, so I think you gotta think about moving him out of there pretty soon.
Pat
Some of our lesser guys are lesser than the lesser guys on Colorado.
Joe
Yeah.
Pat
Get what I'm trying to say.
Joe
Yes, yes, yes.
Pat
Because your theory is you got five superstars in each team and the rest are bodies.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
Okay. That's not my theory. That's not my theory.
Joe
Yeah, their lower lines were better.
Pat
I. I thought maybe the key to the cup is your. Your third and fourth line. Have to be the first and second line for a lot of teams. You know what?
Joe
The ABs got a goaltending. Yeah.
Pat
Yeah.
Joe
No matter which wood they put in
Pat
there, they got a lot of wood.
Joe
Easter black. I'd rather have both our guys than their guys. So I don't know.
Pat
And everybody said, oh, man, the Wild could beat the. The Vegas Knights. I'm not sure.
Joe
Well, Vegas is mean. They're big and me, they're big.
Pat
And mean.
Joe
Yeah, they are. And they got torts.
Pat
It was a complete nutcase.
Joe
I gotta go back someday and find that documentary, Torts vs. Lavallette in a swearing contest. It's telling him. The other thing is, do you think other coaches and other sports tell, profanely tell their team how rotten they were? I'm not sure if it's as popular as it was, but hockey still does it. The coach coming in and telling you what a bunch of gutless bums you are. I don't. I don't. I don't even get away with that in the NBA. The fellows will just say, how the hell with it. We're not doing it tonight.
Pat
I don't see it happening in football, do you?
Joe
Well, not. Those guys are probably gone. Yeah. Because they gotta. They gotta get along with their team for the whole year, you know?
Pat
But Billy Martin probably did it.
Joe
Oh, God. Yes. Yes.
Pat
I don't know if Mark did. Do you think he did?
Joe
No, he just walked around.
Pat
It tipped over a food table walked around and turned red.
Joe
When he would go in the clubhouse after a particularly bitter loss, he'd be making the laps. He'd be making the laps and all the players were still sitting at their lockers. There's the famous story about. I didn't see it, but I heard about it, that the food was sitting there. The post game food.
Pat
This is the one I heard.
Joe
Chris sat there in the middle of the table and it. And Gene was doing laps. Doing laps, waiting, rubbing his hair, waiting for somebody. And somebody gets up and goes to the food table. And Gene looks and it's crew. So he goes back. He goes back into the. Now, he did, allegedly. Mike Torres pitching for Montreal. He did. I guess he screwed up the game and then he went for the food a little early and Gene dumped the soup on him. Supposedly. I don't know what kind of soup was, how hot it was, but he did dump the soup on him. Which he couldn't get away with today. No. Now Shelton. I can't see him. Royce. Yeah. Dump the soup. How about Royce? They can't get him out in St. Paul. Four homers.
Pat
Can I tell you another problem with the NBA?
Joe
Yes.
Pat
How many coaches they have now? Does each player have his own coach?
Joe
Damn near. They got.
Pat
I think they're costing the owners money. There's no place to sit.
Joe
6 and last year, but I think that was, like, low by the league standards. I don't know. Why?
Pat
What. What do they do?
Joe
I don't know. I mean, even if you got a Bunch of guys back looking at tape and doing stuff. What are they sitting there for?
Pat
They're. They're taking up all the good seats.
Joe
Right. It's crowded there. You know, it's. It is. Although you know how many coaches Shelty has now?
Pat
You told me. Too many.
Joe
11.
Pat
That's not. It's.
Joe
It's not real. I think it's 11. It. Because they added Toby. Toby was over in St. Paul for like years. And Toby was sick of St. Paul, so they just made him the sick of St. Paul coach.
Pat
He's there.
Joe
I don't have any idea what he's doing, but yeah, I got it here
Guest or Co-host
in front of me. Are we including Shel or are we not including? Okay, well, we got the bench coach.
Joe
Yes.
Guest or Co-host
One assistant bench and an assistant bench coach. Hitting coach, two assistant hitting coaches.
Joe
How many are we up to there?
Pat
We have five.
Guest or Co-host
Pitching coach, Pete Mackey, assistant pitching coach, slash interpreter.
Joe
Okay.
Guest or Co-host
First base coach, third base coach, bullpen coach.
Pat
10.
Guest or Co-host
I already mentioned the assistant bench coach, Major league field coordinator Toby Gardenhire. That's 11 bullpen catcher and 12 assistant bullpen catcher.
Joe
13. They're out in the bullpen. They aren't in the dugout.
Guest or Co-host
Oh, we don't count the two in the bullpen.
Joe
They're just warming pictures.
Pat
I don't care. That's 13.
Joe
Thirteen. But they're, you know, they're warming up.
Pat
I don't care if they're in the next county. That's 13.
Joe
That's right. The bullpen coach. You know, the twins.
American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
Gardens of Evil Inside the Zion Society Cult tells the story of a cult in a Utah suburb operating in plain sight.
Joe
I said, you have messed with the
Pat
wrong woman as I went out the
Joe
door and he did it.
Pat
Was our whole life some form of abuse? Like I can't think of any time
Joe
that was just joy.
American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
Gardens of Evil Inside the Zion Society Cult is the fifth season of the award winning series American Nightmares. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.
Progressive Insurance Announcer
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Joe
The Twins did travel a bullpen coach back when they had three somebody to catch, but they didn't travel any bull. They travel bullpen pitcher. At least one too. I think maybe two.
Pat
Can you tell me something?
Joe
What?
Pat
What does a Bench coach do? Because then I really want to know what the assistant bench coach does.
Joe
You know, Think we should steal here?
Guest or Co-host
No. Remember when you first told Joe years ago that the Twins had a bench coach and he had a tirade? He said, yeah. What does he do? Say, hey, sit this way.
Pat
Don't cross your legs like that. It's bad for the circulation.
Joe
I have no idea. But everything is, you know, looking at video. But do you need that? You get this doesn't count the 20 guys upstairs that they have watching video.
Pat
I have another question about baseball. What's with these Red Sox uniforms? Those aren't their colors both days. Yellow. What is yellow? That's not Boston.
Guest or Co-host
No, it's the. Remember the whole Boston Strong thing after the marathon deal. Because those are the colors of the marathon.
Joe
That's why I think in three games they ever wore. Wore Red Sox uniforms this year.
Pat
I don't think so.
Joe
Another one that's.
Pat
We did. The Twins did some gray striped pants on Friday.
Joe
They had a different color, a real. The City Connect.
Guest or Co-host
City Connect?
Joe
Yes. And then they had the yellow ones the next day.
Guest or Co-host
That's for. Yeah. The marathon colors.
Joe
I love the Red Sox uniform.
Pat
Me, too, But I've never seen it.
Joe
Yeah. Not lately.
Pat
Hardly ever see it.
Joe
That's not a very good Red Sox team.
Pat
Do the Yankees fall for this? This bs?
Joe
No.
Guest or Co-host
No.
Joe
And wants to know, do they even have a city connect? I doubt if they do.
Pat
What does that mean, city connect? What is that?
Joe
They call it the City connect. That's why you have. You know what? Who was it? Who'd they play that the other day?
Guest or Co-host
The Twins.
Joe
City connect said. What? What was it? Was it.
Pat
Where'd the road trip start In Boston. Are they ever having the Twins have another home game this year?
Joe
The Whitey? No, not last night. Yeah, they're gonna. They're off 10 days, they're back so.
Guest or Co-host
Well, they were home against the Astros and then the brewers and Marlins before that.
Joe
Something.
Guest or Co-host
Were they at Cleveland?
Joe
There's something the other day, I must have just seen it, and it was like the first five letters of a town's name.
Guest or Co-host
Oh, was it Houston, Hou.
Pat
Or Cleave?
Joe
No, the Cleaves. I can take Cleave. But it was. There was. Okay. I got a.
Pat
You know, these lads are in playoff contention. The Twins.
Joe
Yes, they are. In fact, if they started today or not, as of yesterday, both the Twins and the Whiteies were in the playoffs.
Guest or Co-host
Wow.
Pat
Who's this kid that hits the home runs for the White Sox?
Joe
Japanese lady. Yeah. And and he's done well. And what I do.
Pat
He's leading a league at home runs.
Joe
Yes. Yes, yes. Okay, Before. By the next time I talk to you, I'll know what that stupid City Connect was. It's like, woof. So what the hell was it?
Guest or Co-host
Was it Washington when they're playing the Nationals?
Joe
No, maybe it wasn't us. Maybe it was some other team I was watching. Okay.
Pat
The Twins have City Connect.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
With a horrible color.
Guest or Co-host
Blue and yellow cap.
Joe
Does it say on the front?
Guest or Co-host
It's just a logo, isn't it? It's like a. Like almost. You know what? I thought it was a playoff of the star from the new flag. That's what it kind of looks like on the front of the uniform.
Joe
I don't think you can blame the Poleheads for that. They want to promote the new flag that much.
Pat
No, I don't think so.
Guest or Co-host
I don't know. I don't know what.
Pat
It's that new flag fly at the ballpark. I bet it does.
Joe
You know what? I. We talked about this last week, and I think baseball could forget about the whole salary cap because they'd have plenty of money if they just stopped throwing baseballs away. If they just. After my.
Pat
I wonder every time I watch a
Joe
game from using a dozen to using 300.
Pat
Yep.
Joe
What the hell? It hit the ground. So what?
Pat
Well, here's the folly of it.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
The ball. It's put in play is returned to the pitcher.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
That's been hit hard. It's got dirt on it. It's got.
Joe
It's not. The other day I saw him take one out because it's like skidding on the ground or something.
Pat
Oh, this is. Can we just use one ball? Yes.
Joe
Yeah. We need Calvin back. Calvin would not have come up with this.
Pat
Remember Max Moeller?
Joe
Max Moloch?
Pat
Moloch, yeah. He had kids in St. Mary's because they played on a bluff.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
And he hired kids who. He'd lose a couple of kids and lose their life every year. But these kids would have to go down the bluff sometimes. You never saw them again. But they. They had to bring back the balls. And they went in a washing machine that. That Max filled with erasers.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
And they tumbled there, cleaned. And that he wouldn't waste a ball. Not like these people.
Joe
I think after you did it. I did a Max column a few years later. Max was still coaching, and he had some baseballs that were like 12 years old that they were using. He would never. And I was trying to interview him during Baseball during batting practice? No chance. Because he was eyeballing.
Pat
That's all he cared about.
Joe
All he cared. You know, they were really good at one time, but they got batting. But their baseball stock was filter.
Pat
Okay. What was Max?
Joe
He was a great player.
Pat
By the way, what was Max and his wife's pastime? A little trivia question for you.
Joe
I can't answer.
Pat
Square dancing.
Joe
Oh, really? Yes. I bet there isn't a square dancer left in the mia.
Pat
Probably not.
Joe
Do they still. There's still clubs.
Pat
There's still. You can still. You get it.
Guest or Co-host
Well, I know that there's. I found.
Joe
Where were we?
Guest or Co-host
No, but there was a channel where. You know, one of those public access channels, and they had a square dance going on. Yeah.
Pat
They're wonderful.
Joe
Yes. How much alcohol do you need? Oh, my God.
Guest or Co-host
Well, I think I have a couple times, but the.
Joe
At a wedding.
Guest or Co-host
Yes. The average age of this particular video we were watching, I believe the average age of the dancer was probably around 68. That would be my guess.
Pat
It's not really a young person's deal.
Guest or Co-host
No, it is not.
Joe
I would say the average age of your square dancer right now is a little older than us.
Pat
I think so.
Joe
Not much, but a little older than us.
Pat
What else we got?
Joe
It takes an athlete, though, to do it.
Pat
Oh, you got to be good.
Joe
I did text my granddaughter the other day. She's 17 now, and told her, you got to watch the first 10 minutes of Saturday Night Fever to see how people were dancing in the late 70s. You'll be very amused by the hijinks that they went through. To call it.
Guest or Co-host
Yeah, right.
Joe
To call it dancing. I went to a few discos on the road, only to drink and watch, I'll tell you. But it was back, back. That was a. You know, my beat years were 74 to 78. That was three of those years. When did disco start? 70?
Pat
Well, you caught the, you know, the explosion of Comiskey, and. And that's the way I felt about disco.
Joe
Yes.
Pat
Blow up the field. Boy.
Joe
When you watch that again. When you watch that again. I talked back about it, you know, about five different times, just to hear this story again, because he thought. But you know, people. He said, when they told me they were climbing up the side of the walls to get in the stadium because we were sold out, I knew I was in trouble. He couldn't cancel it.
Pat
Remember the scene in Caddyshack where Bill Murray skulks away when the explosion started going off? It had to be Vec. Cowering somewhere under the stadium.
Joe
Well, you know, watch the tape though for like they blow them up and nothing happens for about a two minutes and then 10 guys jump out on the field and then 10 more and two minutes later there's 10,000 of them out there tearing everything up. Oh, God. What Unbelievable.
Pat
Now that was that against the Twins? No, no, it was not.
Joe
But they had to forfeit the, the second game, right? Yeah.
Pat
They had no field.
Joe
Yeah. They said the groundskeeper, how long is it going to take? He said, well, we need, we need a new field. So it's going to take quite some time.
Pat
Right.
Joe
It was unbelievable. The only thing to match it, not match it, to rival it was. Was it 10 cent beer night in Cleveland? Oh, yeah, yeah. They destroyed the place. I think they made the. I think they made the tribe forfeit that game too.
Pat
The only thing that could possibly equal the new truck you bring home from Rosedale Chevrolet is to drive it on a new garage floor put in by installed building solutions. The epoxy floor I got first generation mine's. I think it's safe to say it's pretty well shot.
Joe
But you're gonna go again.
Pat
Well, they use the newest technology. It's called polyure and it doesn't crack, it doesn't fade. And here's the best part for guys like you and me, non skid, they can put the non skidding in there so you don't go down in the slush. And you can clean up the slush. You can clean up anything that's on those garage floors. They're easy to clean, easy to maintain, and the finish stays bright and clean looking. It doesn't yellow throughout time. It just looks better, it feels better, it's cleaner, brighter and more finished. Every time you walk in there, you feel great about it. It's installed building solutions and they've got the current generation, the best epoxy floors. Mine's 18 years old and the stuff has really changed. I don't think they. We'd have to ask them. Okay, I will get a hold. Just go to ibscoding.com ibscoding.com or if you want to call installed building solutions at 612-282-8578.
Joe
I could use one of those.
Pat
You have the epoxy floor, I think. But you like me, you might have
Joe
first generation, a few cracks in it.
Pat
Yeah, well, that's. These guys don't crack. They don't. This stuff is the newest, the newest stuff on the market.
Joe
Right.
Pat
And it works.
Joe
If you had that on your steps, your Wife wouldn't wind up in the bushes since she already heard about it. What the hell she already heard?
Pat
Did you ever get the front water on?
Joe
Well, I told you. What we then discovered was we were trying to turn on the back water. Right. Changing it. If we would have only done the front water first time, it would have been fine. But you know. You know, you're not married to a domestic guy, right? When he thinks. When he's in the back of the house thinking he's turning on the front faucet, that's not.
Pat
That's a bad sign.
Joe
That's a bad sign.
Pat
Yeah.
Joe
Yes. And I. Every year I've turned him on, but how did I forget which was which?
Pat
That's a sign of it. You know what? It's understanding.
Joe
That's a sign of me.
Pat
I mean, you're the same guy that tried to stop a flood with a dish, a glass, a water glass. How many trips upstairs to dump it out that it take before you realize, you know, this isn't working. It's not going to work.
Joe
I had a big red thing, you know, my knees. That's where I originally shot my knees. Big red tub. Yeah, that was like that.
Pat
They slosh, don't they?
Joe
Sloshing up the. Sloshing up and back the steps. Yeah. Damn near as fast as I could go. Yep, it was. I was. Bucketed it out and then put it in that thing. Three hours.
Pat
Yeah.
Joe
Unbelievable.
Pat
That did screw up your knee.
Joe
Oh, it did. I was. I was crippled after that, so. But we've only. In the time we've been there, we've only had one real flood in the basement. So that's good.
Pat
Twins and whities tonight.
Guest or Co-host
Yes, sir.
Pat
At the Whitey's.
Joe
I gotta tell you this, though. Yeah. The other day, Pop. I heard the pop and the power went out. And I looked up the map to see where the power was. There are 82 homes in the state of Minnesota without power. One down by Rochester, and 81 in our neighborhood, where we always lose it. Really. But they put it back. Got back in about 15 minutes. It. So anyway, they. This time they didn't have to come out. They just flipped a switch. Huh.
Pat
Was there a storm?
Joe
No, no. I thought it was another. I expected to find another dead squirrel, but there wasn't one. So I don't know what causes it, but at the pole that keeps popping out is right in our backyard. Pop. I said I heard a pop, and 10 minutes later, we didn't have any power.
Pat
What do we got? We did it.
Joe
Yes, we did. Thank you for the entertainment, Joe. It was great. Thank you.
Guest or Co-host
See ya.
American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
On a July morning in 1991, Detective Mike King's life changed forever.
Pat
I don't think I'll ever forget that first moment when I saw her.
American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
A young woman made a startling confession. She'd recently been a member of a cult.
Pat
I had to consider the fact that her involvement meant that she could actually be one of the predators.
American Nightmares Podcast Narrator
Gardens of Inside the Zion Society Cult is the fifth season of the award winning series American Nightmare Mayors. Subscribe now on Apple Podcasts or wherever you listen.
Date: May 26, 2026
Host: Joe Soucheray ("The Mayor")
Co-hosts: Pat, guest contributors
Network: Gamut Podcast Network
This episode of Garage Logic centers on sports talk through the signature common-sense, humorous lens of Joe Soucheray and the team. While the focus is primarily on baseball and the NBA/NHL playoffs, the highlight is a discussion about Charles Barkley's brutally honest (and entertaining) halftime commentary on the Cavaliers' lack of effort—a moment which prompts broader reflections on sports punditry, accountability, and the evolution of coaching and playing culture in professional sports. As always, the hosts weave in their observations about Minnesota sports, the decline of traditional print media, the absurdities of modern uniforms and coaching rosters, and a dose of amiable digression into everything from household misadventures to square dancing.
[01:53-02:25]
[02:25-04:27]
[04:28-09:04]
[08:01-08:59]
Discussion on Sports Media Culture
[09:55-14:31]
[27:38-32:27]
[33:37-36:46]
[36:49-38:08]
[38:47-39:41]
[40:10-41:39]
[44:12-45:49]
The language throughout is casual, irreverent, nostalgic, and often tongue-in-cheek, with the hosts poking fun at themselves, each other, and the changing world of professional sports and home life.
This episode delivers on the Garage Logic promise: laughter, perspective, and a no-nonsense appraisal of the dizzying changes in sports culture, whether it’s Barkley calling out the Cavaliers for “quitting,” unraveling the logic of MLB’s ever-changing uniforms and endless coaching staff, or reminiscing about when square dancing and keeping baseballs for years were the norm. Anyone missing the old-school, practical, and often irreverent lens on sports and life will find plenty to enjoy—and plenty of laughs—here.