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Garage Logic
SCRAMBLE: Why exactly are we organizing an ICE out on Friday and shutting down businesses in the Twin Cities?
00:35:06
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Tickets on sale now@mngolfshow.com Save $3 with advanced purchase. Each ticket includes 14 free greens fee passes at area courses like learn more@mngolfshow.com. This is the weekly Scramble, a place where we chat about life over a cold one or two. It's time to belly up to the pod with Mike Fratelloni and your host, Chris Reivers.
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B
That's right, it's time for the weekly Scramble podcast. My name is Chris Reivers. With me as always. His name is Mike Fratelloni. Hello, Michael.
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A
You're finally going through puberty with that little.
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B
You know, it's weird when it's this, this time of the year based upon the cold and just, you know, there's stuff going on. I don't, I mean, I feel fine, but my voice has just been in and out today. So I'm trying to hang on for dear life through our podcast episode here.
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A
But I almost blamed you on something. Like I came into the offices and so what happens is the offices are really super professional here at Hubbard. Yeah, right. And sometimes people walk through the offices that look super professional. So I walked in and a lady was there and she looked really dressed up, like super professional. And I said, hey, how you doing? And she said, great. And I said, hi. And I was walking towards the garagelogic studio. There was a piece of paper on the ground and I said, I'm gonna show this person that I care for our building.
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B
Yes.
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A
Because our building's perfectly clean, like it's a well maintained building. So I reached down to pick it up and Then I realized it's a Kleenex that I probably think you dropped out of your pocket. And all I could think of is I just picked up a dirty Kleenex from Reavers. But the gal behind me probably thought, oh my God, that guy is a worker. He's community oriented.
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B
Absolutely.
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A
He's a good man. That guy is a good man. That woman said. Or she didn't even notice that I picked up a dirty Kleenex.
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B
Either that, yeah, probably either or.
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A
Sorry, gotta tell that story.
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B
There's a number of things I wanna talk about, but let's start with the really non serious storyline from over the weekend. You know me, I love me some sports.
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A
You do, you do.
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B
And I watched a whole bunch of football the last couple of days. The boys and I had a. We were watching the Bills and the Broncos game. Now my oldest son is a Mass. Josh Allen fan. So he has become. He's pissed, I bet, kind of an associate member of the Bills mafia. An adopted member, excuse me, of the Bill's mafia. And I'm watching that game and it was kind of finally like, okay, this is Josh Allen's year. Patrick Mahomes isn't in the playoffs. Joe Burrow's not in the playoffs. Lamar Jackson's not in the playoffs. This is Josh Allen's year. And he turns the ball over five or they turn the ball over five times. I think he had four. And they sadly lose to the Denver Broncos in overtime. Here's the reason why I want to bring up this game and I do root for the Bills once the Vikings season is over with right there. They're my AFC team. But with. So there was a play in the game in which Brandon Cooks seemed to have caught the ball, rolled over as he hit the ground, and then the Denver defensive back ripped it out of his hands and it was ruled at interception the field.
- [03:57]
A
You said that a little errantly because you said he seemed to have caught the ball. He 100% caught the damn ball.
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B
So obviously I have a tad bit of bias because I want the Bills to win. But here's my problem with what happened. So this bozo crew decides, well, not only are we not going to review it, we're barely going to stop play to the point where the Bills head coach, who actually lost his job two days later, had to take a time out to say, are you guys going to look at this play? And the part that was mind blowing to me, it wasn't necessarily that they ruled it a certain way on the field, which I didn't agree with the call, but I. Okay, that's how it was ruled on the field.
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A
It's quick like that on the field.
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B
Review it.
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A
Review it. I mean, it's a turnover of the most important games of the year.
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B
It was the deciding play of that game. And you have every sport now. Baseball even has replay now to the point where every one of these jackasses has to make it about themselves and give themself a little extra camera time. You're not going to even spend a minute to look at the difference.
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A
It's so strange if you haven't seen the play. The receiver lands completely on his back. His elbow is on the ground. The defensive player lands on top of him, grabs the ball in a smooth motion. By the way, the defensive player did it in a smooth motion, rolled off of him and ended up with the ball. But the offensive player was already down. The receiver was already down when he hit the ground. It was done.
- [05:27]
B
That's the thing. So once he's touched and on the ground, the play is done? Yes. And what I didn't understand is even if they had dual. What would you call it, Dual possession, It automatically goes to the offensive player. That's how it's supposed to work. So, again, did it ruin my weekend? Not really.
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A
It was a horrible, horrible call.
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B
Well, and it decided a team's season, essentially. And I guess the problem that I had is you guys don't waste one second. Like, the classic example is that buffoon Gene Serratore, who's a decent referee, but, boy, does he love the camera. And now he's actually an analyst for cbs. And I'm thinking, I literally could not believe it, because even if that's a regular season game, you know, they're going to take a look at it, and I think.
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A
So could they not take a look at it because it was an overtime. Do you not have a challenge flag at that time?
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B
If they did, they might have used it. I don't know. I don't think they used it.
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A
He took a timeout instead of a challenge. But that is. And I don't know, that possession might not even be challengeable.
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B
Right.
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A
It was horrible. And then what I loved about it is Broncos go down and they got this little field goal that they just need to punch in for the win. And Bo Nick says, I'm going to move over 1 yard so my kicker can kick this field goal 1 yard over into the middle of the field and someone steps on him. He breaks his ankle.
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B
He breaks his ankle.
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A
That is it's not his karma. That's not Bo Nix's karma. It's the referee butterfly effect from such a shitty call that absolutely stole the game. And God said, no, no, no, no, no. Broncos were not supposed to win this one. Bo, I'm so sorry. You're out.
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B
So that was a bummer. And unfortunately, Sean McDermott, who I didn't realize in his nine seasons there, has almost 100 wins. And then they fired him on Monday. And I'm thinking because he turned the ball over five times, but whatever, that's another story for another time. So, I mean, whatever. And I, you know, like I said, Josh Allen is an easy. Root for it because you can tell he. He genuinely cares and he is beloved in that city.
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A
Sure. I mean, well, he wasn't when he first.
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B
He was not at first. You're right. People were crying because.
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Crying when they drafted.
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They're thinking, we're drafting a quarterback from Wyoming.
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And.
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B
But anyway, so I want to transition from that because he would. The reason he went to Wyoming is there wasn't another Division 1 school that was going to let him play quarterback. That was the only one. He's got a pretty good story, and that's what I wanted to transition to last night. Did you watch the national championship? So the quarterback for Indiana, it's truly one of the most astounding turnarounds in sports history. It just is kind of. Well, I get it with the transfer portal and all that, but they. Indiana won as many bowl games in the past 19 days as they did in the previous 150,000 years that they've been a football program.
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A
Which is pretty cool.
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B
Which is very cool. So for those of you that don't know the quarterback that won the Heisman Trophy for Indiana, his name is Francisco Mendoza. He's expected to be the number one overall pick in the draft. And the reason I wanted to mention him is the story of just him is very cool. So they play. They beat Miami last night in their stadium in Miami. And he's from that area.
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A
He's from Miami.
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B
And he was attempting to be a walk on for the Hurricanes. And he was told, no, no, thank you. Yeah. So then he went to California and he was with the California Bears for a couple of years, then transferred to Indiana and became, what he's become, the biggest name in college football right now. But I don't, I can't explain just how much I love stories like that where a kid who seems like an easy kid to root for, who essentially nobody wanted, he had to Be a preferred walk on for Division 1. But he said, I'm gonna bet on myself. And again, I get it. There's a lot of money. He probably made a couple bucks to be Indiana's quarterback. But the point of the story is he said, well, just because one person told me no, or that I wasn't good enough for them, well, I'll show them that I was good enough for them. And the fact that that's the team he ends up beating in the national championship for, again, a school that's been a doormat in college football for centuries.
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A
I think it's pretty cool. Incredibly interesting. I think Indiana completely cheated. Completely cheated.
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B
Okay.
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A
They have their average age of a player, as you know, is 23 years old.
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B
Right.
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They have no players, zero players, offensive players that are under 21 years old. Reavers. You start college in 18, right. You wrap it up by 21 or 22. You're not supposed to be in college at 23. Those are called doctors. Right. People that are extending past.
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B
Is that your Tommy boy line?
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A
Yes. So, I mean, I believe that's absolute, absolute crap. Because Signetti said, why don't we just go get. Because the difference between an 18 year old guy and a 23 year old guy is a massive difference in football. Massive. And they basically just said you guys weren't quite good enough to be pro players, but you're old enough and we're going to have you for one season. We're going to go win a national championship.
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B
But Mike, that's not just an Indiana thing. That's just how much the landscape of college football has changed. And I got to be perfectly honest, I probably watched the least amount of college football that I ever have this year. And that's a big reason why.
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A
Yeah. Miami's average age, the people that lost obviously was 20. So on average their players are three years older.
- [11:11]
B
But if you want to go down the road that you previously went down. Their quarterback, Carson Beck, you saw his quote from two or three days ago. What'd he say he was doing? You know, they always do the press and whatnot. And he was sitting at the podium and some reporter had asked him, so, you know, is it tough on you guys to have to miss class today?
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A
Yeah.
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B
And he said, well, I graduated two years ago.
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A
Yeah.
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B
And he's still playing college football. Think of that. It's just, it's. To me, it, I get it. And the NCAA has a massive problem on its hands, but you ain't putting the toothpaste back in the tube. With this, you just aren't.
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A
What do you think of that true freshman, Tony?
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B
Tony, Call the receiver. He's going to be. Yeah, he's a really good player.
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A
My God, is that. He's 18 years old.
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B
He should be a senior in high school.
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A
He should be a senior in high school. Think of that. And he's out there winning championships. Well, you know, trying to win championships and playing unbelievably well. I'm a little pissed because I think that's kind of cheating. We're getting a bunch of old men to play the game. Oh, you want to come here? We'll give you 500,000 bucks. Let's go win a national championship. I bet you anything reverse that rule's going to change.
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B
Oh, I don't doubt that for a second.
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A
They'll have to change that rule. Some part of it. The math is just. So my daughter goes to usc, right? And I'm forgetting Lenoris, I'm forgetting Lenores last name, the quarterback at USC. USC has a Midland team, right? Their 50% win streak team is making $3.9 million a year to play quarterback at USC. Not USC, in California, in South Carolina.
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B
That's crazy.
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A
That's 4 million bucks a year. Good for you, Linoris. And he's got a team that they barely had six wins or whatever. That's pretty amazing.
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B
You know what it is, Mike? What is it? It's nuts.
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A
It's totally nuts.
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B
And weearnutsmn.com youm know who's been roasting nuts longer than most of us have been alive? The we are Nuts crew. Family owned Minnesota made and absolutely obsessed with roasting small batch nuts to perfection and inventing wild and also unforgettable flavors. Since 1987 they've been crafting famous toffee nuts and small batch snacks that are great for parties on the go. Snack and even holiday gifts. Here's the deal, ladies and gentlemen. We are Nuts has gotten so big.
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A
So big. How big?
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B
They are now in almost 700 quick trip locations. That's right, 700 quick trip locations. I'm not kidding. I just got this bulletin this morning. It's fantastic.
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A
Is that the power of the garagelogic podcast network?
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B
Can I share you something? So I was.
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A
I'm being serious.
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B
I don't know, but I'll say this, okay. I was at a Quick Trip in Mankato Saturday and I was grabbing some pizza for the boys and we were gonna watch a little football and I saw the we are Nuts display and so I kinda. Here, I'll show you right here.
- [13:57]
A
I kind of put them in your pocket.
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B
I did a snapshot and then I saw a guy. I've got an armful of crap. I got two kids that are driving me insane and then I saw a guy in a GL shirt kind of going over to the Are you kidding me? And I was gonna say hi but then my boys get really irritated with me cause I don't stop talking. See, look at the display right there. Like Dan, let's just go. So anyway, yeah, I promise you this is an ad for we are nuts. 700 Quick Trip locations including in Mankato. I can verify that. And also at all of your Fraterloni's hardware and garden stores locations, Mac's Hardware, Lunds and Barley's, Kowalski's Markets, Coburn's County Market. Am I forgetting anybody? I don't think I am. Cub Foods. Did you say Cub Foods? Thank you very much. But it's a wonderful family owned operation and they're making the best snacks known to man. If you can't make it to any one of those locations, order online rnutsmn.com, the weekly scramble. We will be right back. Who doesn't love this time of year? Football playoffs are here and underdog is the best place to get in on all the action. Underdog is so easy you just pick if your favorite players will go higher or lower on stats like touchdowns, rushing yards, receptions and more. If you get your picks right, you could win up to 5,000 times your cash. So many great players to choose from this time of season. But the way I look at it, I think Matthew Stafford to go higher on yards passing is awesome for me to go and Saquon Barkley's a nice pick to go higher on rushing yards. So what are you waiting for? Download the app today and use Promo Code garage to score $75 in bonus entries when you play your first $5. That's promo code Garage. Underdog make picks win Money must be 18 +, 19 in Alabama and Nebraska, 19 in Colorado for some games, 21 in Arizona, Massachusetts and Virginia and present in a state where underdog fantasy operates. Terms apply.
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- [16:09]
A
Can I start this up? Because I had something to tell you. So you had seen the guy buying. We are nuts, right?
- [16:15]
B
Yeah.
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A
So I was driving on the. And I see, you know, like, the dash screens now on cars are really big. And I see a GL logo on the dash screen.
- [16:25]
B
Oh, nice.
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A
So I'm saying to my daughter, I'm grabbing my phone, saying, hey, they're playing our podcast. They're playing our podcast in the car next to us. And so I'm taking a picture of it, and my daughter, the buzzkill that she is, she says, that's the GL Podcast, dad. That's not yours. And in all fairness, I knew it was a GL podcast, but I wanted her to think.
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B
But you're part of the team. Yeah.
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A
And I wanted her to think that maybe, just maybe, someone listens to their dad. Her dad, on the podcast, on the radio and the podcast. So I was really kind of just kind of fooling her a little bit, and she said, dad, that's adorable. That's the GL podcast, not yours.
- [17:04]
B
Well, and I had mentioned that they kind of get irritated because I will run into somebody that I know, and we'll strike up a conversation. And my youngest a couple weeks ago said, dad, with what you do for a job, don't you ever get tired of talking? So I took that as a sign, like, maybe it's time we head out.
- [17:21]
A
Well, we need some more shirts, and we definitely need to see pictures of people listening to their podcast on driving down the weekly scramble version, not just the GL podcast, although we're on the same feed, and we get it.
- [17:32]
B
All right, I have to bring up something with you. We talked about it a little bit earlier today on the Garage Logic podcast, but it's one of those subjects, Mike, where I ask myself, what are we doing here exactly? So several people have organized a business blackout for this Friday and to basically to show their support and rally against ICE operating in the state of Minnesota, most normally here in the Twin Cities. And I'm asking myself. Okay, hold on here a second. So the way that you're gonna show everybody that you guys all mean business is you're gonna deprive the local businesses that are already hurting because of staffing issues and things like that. You're gonna say we're not gonna support these. I don't get what's going on here.
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A
It's called the ICE out of Minnesota Day of Truth and Freedom. Whether you believe in that concept or not. Let's put that to the side. Right. Let's just pretend to not talk about that. What does closing businesses do?
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B
I don't get it.
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A
And maybe if they said, hey, we want Everybody break at 2 o' clock when the rally starts, that I can go, hey, everybody close. Everybody come down to the rally. And maybe that's what they mean. But what I think is if they lose a day of work, if people lose a day of work in a week, it can 100% affect them. People need those hours. People in the restaurant business, because they're asking a ton of restaurants, that's what they need to survive. They might not be able to take it off. It's very, very difficult. I don't know this is the best idea. I'm not arguing whether they should have the rally or not. That's not their argument. I just don't know if it accomplishes what you want to accomplish. Because people need those hours. People need that time.
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B
And not to mention the first thought that comes to my mind is, do you think for a second that the administration in the White House is going to say, hey, hold up a minute here, we've got something going on in the Twin Cities where a couple of different businesses have shut down. We better rethink. That's not going to happen. So I don't get what your point is at all.
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A
Yesterday was Martin Luther King Day. I'm a big fan of Martin Luther King. Big fan of Martin Luther King Day. I'm not a big fan of Drive To. I'm going to say the place because it's a big place and I love it and I spent a lot of money there. I went to Canes, right? So I'm sitting in the drive thru at Keynes and I'm like, hello, hello. Sitting in the drive thru, couple minutes. I'm like, what the hell? So I drive forward and on the window of the drive thru there's a sign that says closed for observance of Martin Luther King Day. And I said, oh, totally fine that you're closed on Monday. I get it. That's something you could be closed for. Put the sign on the drive through thing.
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B
So when I pull up, was the board lit up?
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A
Yes, the whole damn thing was on.
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B
And I was like, that's crazy.
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A
What are you doing? And is it that hard to just put the little sign up that says, hey, we're closed. And I'd say, oh, I'll go to Wendy's. Okay, I can live without my Chick Fil a for the day. Not Chick Fil A, Cane's for the Day. I just thought it was a little odd. But Reivers going back to this, there's some grocery stores that are gonna close, like the Wedge Community Co, Op, Eastside Co Op, a handful of grocery stores, some coffee shops are gonna close, a bunch of restaurants are gonna close. But let me tell you this little story about a restaurant I went to in my neck of the woods. So there is a little Mexican restaurant. I live close to a Mexican population, like a big group. I'm in St. Paul, I'm near the west side, and there's a lot of Mexican inspired restaurants and people, a lot of Mexicans in that area. Right. So I go to this Mexican restaurant not to make a proclamation that I'm supporting them or not to not support them. It's just a restaurant I go to all the time and I really like it.
- [21:20]
B
It's really good food.
- [21:20]
A
Yeah, it's really good food. So I go up and there's some people standing outside and they have a little heater. And I said, hey, hello, how you doing? Stay safe, stay warm. And they're outside. And I didn't really connect the dots that they're there to kind of protect the restaurant. Right. But it makes sense to me. There's probably a lot of Mexican workers working in this faster food Mexican restaurant. So I go in, greeted by this beautiful, sweet cashier that works there. She's just the most pleasant gal. She's Mexican, but speaks perfect English. So I don't know if she's lived here her entire life or what. So as I'm leaving, I notice that the key is in the lock on the inside of the front door. Like on the inside of the door. Their main key for their door is in the lock. So I go outside and I say, hey, just so you know, the key's in the door. And they said, yeah, we know, we're keeping an eye on it. Then I thought, should I see if I can help them with a locksmith, something? You want that key out of there because you don't want to leave your front door key. I hop into my car and I thought, wait, they're here. If ICE pulls up, they're going to lock the door. They pop in and lock the door. I got out of my car and I went back and I said, I misunderstood. I get it now. I get now what you're doing. I didn't, I didn't put two and two together. I've been to that restaurant so many times. I just didn't really. The process was just totally normal to me. Nothing Felt weird. And then I thought, how many times do I want ICE to randomly go into a Mexican restaurant? I don't know if I want that.
- [22:50]
B
I don't. Probably don't want that either. But that leads to another clip that I wanted to play. So there was a local arrest made. And again, I've kind of been out of the loop because I didn't work yesterday. So my timeline's kind of screwed up. So I don't know exactly what day this surfaced. I think that this video surfaced on Saturday, if I'm not mistaken. But I don't know when exactly the arrest took place. But there's a couple of female protesters who are out and about, and I believe this was in St. Paul, but basically they were trying to impede ICE doing its work. And just again, I have some issues with some of the things that are going on, but I've just trained because years ago I begged Joe to write a book on the rules for being a lefty because it's really confusing to me.
- [23:42]
A
It is. It's hard to figure out because a.
- [23:44]
B
Lot of the things that they stand for don't really make sense. And a lot of things they want to have happen. Well, that's just kind of not how it's supposed to work. But whatever. You be you. Right. I'm a live and letter.
- [23:53]
A
Sometimes they want a ton of government, sometimes they want no government.
- [23:56]
B
Exactly. So case in point is this 20 second video from an ICE agent to a female protester. Take a listen.
- [24:09]
A
We're here to arrest a child sex.
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B
Offender and you guys are out here honking.
- [24:16]
A
No, we're pressed. That vehicle right there is honking and impeding our investigations while we're trying to arrest a child sex offender.
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B
That's who you guys are protecting.
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A
Insane.
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B
So that's, I guess, where I. Protesting.
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A
Didn't know that.
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B
Right, right. But I guess that's my point.
- [24:38]
A
May not be true, though.
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B
You don't know what they're doing. You know what I mean? So that's why I have. I get it that the tactics could be a little bit better, but I was talking to somebody the other day and I apologize for coughing with my mic and I'm just. My throat's hanging on for dear life. But I was talking to somebody the other day that internally deals with some of this stuff. This person is not in law enforcement, but they observe things of what ICE is doing from an operational standpoint. And he says often, because people want a little bit more transparency. And I totally get that. I would like a Little bit too, just given the job that I do. But the problem is, the more transparent that they are with this stuff, it will be harder for them to apprehend the bad guys. Because once the bad guys get the word out, they're out of here. I mean, they're getting on planes, they're getting in the car, they're just. They're getting out of here. And I guess, for me, sure, are some of the tactics that are being applied here. Is it the. I don't know what the answer is. I really don't. And I'm not going to pretend that I do know what the answer is.
- [25:48]
A
To be able to stand out in front of a target and have Chris Rivers, Jamira, or whatever your name would be to ask you about your driver's license. I don't like that. We can't do that in this country. If someone commits a crime, get the evidence, arrest them, deport them, do whatever you have to do, right? But you can't just put up a roadblock and say, everyone who's coming out of the target center, show me your papers.
- [26:17]
B
But one of the reasons why in this state, let's just say the Twin Cities, one of the reasons why they had to come here in the first place is because the bad guys aren't getting prosecuted, because the bad guys are roaming free.
- [26:32]
A
That's the problem with having the concept of a sanctuary city, Right. You don't have just the bad guys gone, Right. And you become a mark. You know, we don't have a lot of illegal immigrants. They said In Texas, it's 2.6 million illegal immigrants, right? We have 100,000. Well, if you really wanted to, if it was a thing about illegal immigration, they'd be down in Texas because that's where there's a bigger pile of them. Right. And I just.
- [26:57]
B
I don't know.
- [26:57]
A
Reivers. So here's an anecdote, anecdotal story that I was told from someone I trust. His best friend was walking into a target, right?
- [27:04]
B
Yep.
- [27:05]
A
His best friend is Korean. ICE agent said, hey, show me your driver's license. This guy hesitated a little bit, took out his driver's license, and they said, go. Then they grabbed him by the arm and said, next time, have it ready for me.
- [27:18]
B
Oh, see, that's too much. Yeah, that's too much.
- [27:21]
A
I would have said, honest to God, I don't know what I would have said. I probably would have said nothing, right. And walked by, but my mind would have said, oh, you don't get to do that to Americans, period. I'm not doing anything. I'm going to target. I don't have to answer your questions. I don't have to look at you. I don't have to do anything. But this kid is obviously Korean, right? And so you can tell he's Korean because he looks Korean. He's never been to Korea, doesn't speak Korean. He was born in Minnesota. And I think that is not right, even though the Supreme Court said it was legal right or constitutional at the moment. I just. This can't be the way we go about it because every time you do something like this, you move one more step closer to a dictatorship, one more step closer to you have to show your papers whether you had a Covid shot or not. One more step closer. And we got to stop that. We have to figure out a way to stop that. Maybe, maybe it's with a protest. I don't think a protest is going to do it, to tell you the truth.
- [28:21]
B
No, I really don't either. Let's talk about North American banking. Company banking done differently since 1998, when they made a promise to deliver a better banking experience for their customers where you know your banker and they also know you. And while a lot has changed since then, this commitment to being a true community bank in the Twin Cities, that has not. And you know what? You get that feeling anytime that you walk into any one of their six Twin Cities locations, whether it's Woodbury, Hastings, Shoreview, May, Maple Grove, 50th in France and also in Roseville. They offer all of the same updated online and mobile banking tools as those other big national banks. But the key difference is you're going to get the unparalleled service of a community bank, locally owned and operated. Here's why that's important. That means loan decisions are made right here in the Twin Cities. They are not sent out of state. So this helps all of you business owners solve problems quickly and also expand your business with confidence. You see, they deal with numbers every single day, but you are never going to be one of them. So check them out online. Today it's nabankco.com to learn more. Once again, it's banking done differently. North American Banking company member FDIC is an equal housing lender. The weekly scramble. We will be right back. All right, I have a confession to make. Yesterday I had the day off. The boys didn't have school. So we just kind of putzed around the house and did some laundry, things like that. And in one of my bathrooms at home, the mechanism had Gone to the puts on me. So I had to replace the whole deal. I just thought, I'll buy the kit and I'll just do the whole deal, right? And I mean, am I Mr. Fix at Mr. Handyman? No. But this is something pretty simple. I could figure this out.
- [30:08]
A
Did you buy a Flumaster 400? What did you get?
- [30:10]
B
I think so. I think that's a little box. Yeah, Yeah, I think that's exactly what I bought. Okay.
- [30:15]
A
It's called a Ballcock, but yeah.
- [30:17]
B
Thank you. So I bought it a couple days ago and I've been kind of sitting around that, oh, I have the day off. This is exactly what I'm gonna do. So I even. I took it all apart, right? Took the tank off, cleaned everything up nice and good and made it all shiny and stuff. And so I started to put the valve on and then this on and the chute on and all that stuff on. And then I get the two bolts that connect the tank to the bowl.
- [30:44]
A
Oh, you took that off?
- [30:46]
B
Oh, I took everything off. Well, because the water. Because again, the house has only had Hofferman water in Chicago for the past four years.
- [30:54]
A
You drink right out of the toilet?
- [30:55]
B
Of course. Yeah. In fact, I had a sip, but I just wanted to clean it. So it was ready to go. So I cleaned it up. And I was joking with the boys, saying we got to do surgery on the patient. Turns out, too much crap. We just gotta. So I was playing doctor, basically, right? And so I have scalpel. So the little guy was helping me. It was fun. So I go to assemble the tank and on the instructions it says, do not tighten all the way. Oh, no. Oh, yeah. Oh, no. Oh, yeah.
- [31:26]
A
Okay.
- [31:27]
B
So I, you know, it's got the nice little tool that you use to get the bolts in there nice and secure. I'm like, I'm just going to give her a nice little oh, no snap. The entire side of the porcelain throne. And I went, Son of a bitch.
- [31:44]
A
Went from a simple job to a time consuming job.
- [31:48]
B
So now, I mean, the tank assembly, I think I handled it. I've done it before. I don't think I can replace a whole toilet myself.
- [31:58]
A
I think you can. It's not really that hard, to tell you the truth.
- [32:00]
B
Really.
- [32:00]
A
Especially with your house. It's a new house, right? So it's just not. It's not like a 1900s house where the pipe has been molested so many times below there. I think you can 100% do it and you just go and buy a toilet. Buy the whole Thing. Don't buy the tab because they're like 100 bucks.
- [32:15]
B
Well, and it's. The bowl is the part that cracked. It wasn't the toilet. Okay?
- [32:18]
A
So, yeah, the bowl.
- [32:19]
B
I have to replace the whole thing.
- [32:21]
A
That's the problem. I did. I'm having some work done at my house, right? I'm getting some stuff done, some tile work done. And I said I might replace that toilet. So I went toilet shopping.
- [32:30]
B
Oh, nice.
- [32:31]
A
You know what? You can spend a lot of money on a toilet. A toilet. And, like, I mean, a lot of money on.
- [32:37]
B
What is this gonna set me back?
- [32:38]
A
Well, if you buy a simple toilet, which I suggest you do. Cause you don't care. You're just using it. I want mine, like, a little more massage y heated and stuff like that. I mean, they were showing me options. Reverse for 7,800 bucks for a toilet.
- [32:53]
B
What?
- [32:53]
A
Yes. And I said, you've got the wrong guy. Like, I want to get a nice toilet. The chance of me spending $8,000 on a toilet are zero. Literally zero. I would never do it, but I might buy one little down the line from that. I want. Here's what I want out of the toilet, right?
- [33:09]
B
Gotta have a bidet.
- [33:11]
A
And it can't be a bidet that's in the seat. I want a unit. That's the whole thing of a bidet. I don't want, like, a bidet attachment yet. They make, like, $3,000 seat attachments for some toto toilets that are just the seat heat is the bidet, right?
- [33:25]
B
Oh, my God.
- [33:26]
A
I want it to be heated. I want my water to be heated. I want to be able to aim my jet whether it's front or back, because there's aim. I need a remote control. You think I'm joking? 100%. There's remote control. I want it to have a reverse airflow so it pulls air down and out, right? So the air, like if for some magical way, what I'm doing creates some air that I wouldn't want to floating out there, it will reverse pull that air out. I want self cleaning, which is another one, because it has this jet flow and you can get a lot. You get a nice toto toilet. It does all of that and more, right? And this. It's. There's even toilets that have some AI to it. So it can look up there and.
- [34:13]
B
It can say, hey, Mike's here again.
- [34:15]
A
We need to. Mike's here. Oh, by the way, you walk up there, and as you walk up to it, it opens up, has a Little blue light around it.
- [34:21]
B
So it almost has a setting like your vehicle would for your seat.
- [34:25]
A
Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's really, really cool.
- [34:27]
B
Hey, I'm using key fob number two.
- [34:29]
A
As Mike's driving, I can pick the temperature of the water.
- [34:33]
B
Wow.
- [34:34]
A
Have you had a bidet ever in your entire life?
- [34:38]
B
Where was I staying? We had one once at a hotel we were staying at.
- [34:42]
A
This is the most arrogant, douchey thing I can ever say. But bidets can change your life, I bet. Do she? Because the bidet is. Yeah, I didn't even catch that. That was a play on words. It makes it very hard if over to someone's house and they don't have a bidet. I think I'm filthy.
- [35:00]
B
We're out of here.
- [35:01]
A
What kind of savages would use this?
- [35:04]
B
Here's the thing, though. I don't know that I could ever go down that route because I don't think she'd mind me telling this. My mother grew up in a farmhouse.
- [35:12]
A
Okay.
- [35:12]
B
And they literally went to the bathroom outside still.
- [35:16]
A
Really?
- [35:17]
B
They had an outhouse for the first. Let's see, my mom was born in 1956. I think she said for the first five years, that's how they went to the bathroom.
- [35:26]
A
Just think, on a day like today.
- [35:28]
B
It'S one out there.
- [35:29]
A
And you had to run to the bathroom. Although you go fast, right? You'd go fast. You wouldn't sit out there and say, I'm gonna relax here.
- [35:37]
B
You're like the dog. I gotta get this over with. Get back in.
- [35:40]
A
Yeah, my dog. It was funny that she said that I was taking my dog out and she did her business, and then she lifted up a paw, right? Cause it was cold. I said, well, come on, let's go back in. Let's hurry up. And she's gonna, like. She basically gave up. She basically just said, I can't make it. Leave without me.
- [35:55]
B
Just leave me here.
- [35:56]
A
I mean, I was like, oh, honey, all you have to do is take 10 more steps. You're going to be inside. I had to go pick her up. And she looked at me. No one's ever done this in their life. Reverse. She said, I love you more than anything.
- [36:05]
B
You saved me.
- [36:06]
A
You saved me. No one's ever done that. Either I love you more than anything, or said, I saved them. Neither of those things. And she gave me a kiss, like, across the face. And I put her down, and she's like, this tile is nice and warm. Can I go use your bidet next time? I said, honey, you Go. You go do it. The dog bidet. I don't know if you've heard this other news, that Justin Timberlake is joining the war effort in Ukraine.
- [36:30]
B
I did not know this.
- [36:32]
A
Yeah, he's gonna be stationed somewhere around the Crimea River. You'd have to know that song. Do you think everyone knows that song, Crimea River?
- [36:39]
B
Oh, that's one of his true bangers.
- [36:41]
A
That's the. Everyone who listens to this show knows that Justin Timberlake has a song called.
- [36:46]
B
Crimea river which he wrote about. About Britney Spears.
- [36:49]
A
Britney Spears. And she's just crying herself over that girl's face.
- [36:51]
B
You know, I gotta be honest. I know we gotta wrap up, but it's troubling seeing some of those videos online because every guy my age had a crush on Britney back in the day. Would ya now? Yeah, of course. Okay, good.
- [37:02]
A
Just checking. She's still a star.
- [37:04]
B
Beautiful. Okay, Reavers, let's not be dumb.
- [37:06]
A
You are the best.
- [37:07]
B
Thank you, Michael. Please do us a favor. Rate and review the show wherever you happen to be listening the Weekly Scramble podcast. It helps other people find the show and it helps us out as well. And we appreciate each and every single one of you. His name is Mike Fedaloni. My name is Chris Reavers. Thank you so very much for listening to the Weekly Scramble podcast. We'll talk to you again next time. And until then, cheers.