If OCD Turns Thanksgiving Into a Spiral, Do This - Get to know OCD

Podcast Summary: "If OCD Turns Thanksgiving Into a Spiral, Do This"

Podcast: Get to know OCD
Host: Dr. Patrick McGrath (NOCD's Chief Clinical Officer)
Date: November 27, 2025

Main Theme

In this special Thanksgiving episode, Dr. Patrick McGrath explores how Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) can interfere with holiday experiences, particularly Thanksgiving. He shares practical mindset shifts and behavioral strategies to help listeners prevent OCD from hijacking the holiday, emphasizing self-compassion, imperfection, and the value of community.

Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. Gratitude as an Antidote to OCD (00:00–01:15)

Dr. McGrath opens by expressing gratitude for his work, support systems, and the unknowns of the future, humorously noting that "OCD would not like that" uncertainty.
Quote:

“OCD wants you to know everything that’s going to happen and how it goes.” (01:04)

2. How OCD Can Disrupt Thanksgiving (01:15–02:20)

He personifies OCD as an unwanted guest poised to cause chaos at family gatherings.
OCD can manifest as the urge to control things—to make the house perfect, avoid uncomfortable conversations, and prevent mistakes.
Quote:

“Maybe you'll have a better way of approaching Thanksgiving without OCD being a guest that tries to spill the wine all over the table and throw the turkey across the room.” (01:20)

3. Embracing Imperfection (02:20–03:10)

Dr. McGrath recommends intentionally placing something slightly out of place as a learning experience.
Quote:

“The setup doesn’t have to be perfect… Allow that to be there and learn that you can handle that.” (02:27)

4. Letting Conversations Flow (03:10–04:07)

Family gatherings can bring up challenging topics (politics, religion). It’s okay not to control every conversation or emotional reaction.
Step in if needed, but don’t dwell or overanalyze afterward.
Practice letting go—perfection in social interactions isn’t attainable.
Quote:

“Go ahead, step in and say something, and then go back to doing what you were doing instead of fretting…” (03:50)

5. Focusing on Community, Not Perfection (04:07–04:53)

The essence of the holiday is togetherness, not flawless food or decor.
Quote:

“When people leave, the thing they'll remember the most is the time that they had, and not one individual piece of food or one individual person.” (04:38)

6. Disputing OCD’s Lies (04:53–06:00)

OCD convinces sufferers they must be in control or disaster will follow.
“If OCD did actually tell the truth, my job would be to give OCD out to everybody… Nobody would want that.” (05:48)
One of OCD’s “great lies” is that it is needed to function or survive.

7. Redefining Recovery (06:00–07:01)

Recovery doesn’t mean never having unwanted thoughts or urges; it means learning to live with them.
Dr. McGrath normalizes intrusive thoughts: “All of us have thoughts, images, and urges that we may not like, and we learn how to handle them and live with them.” (06:21)
Overcoming OCD is about accepting discomfort, not eradicating it.

8. Navigating Holiday Pressures (07:01–07:48)

Holidays bring added pressures and stress, which OCD “loves.”
OCD falsely claims it can help with stress, but it only complicates things.
Quote:

“OCD doesn’t ever add anything that makes anything better whatsoever. It only muddies the water. It only stirs the pot. But not in the way you want the pot to be stirred, let me tell you.” (07:36)

9. Embracing Mistakes and Celebrating (07:48–End)

Thanksgiving is a day for making mistakes, for letting things go, and for choosing gratitude over compulsions.
Quote:

“This is a day that you can make a choice. And that choice is, I choose to be thankful today for the way things go and not to try to make things go the way OCD wants them to go.” (08:06)
Listeners are encouraged to live their own lives, not lives dictated by OCD.

10. Practical Recommendation and Sign-Off

Consider trying a few therapy sessions before the holidays to develop coping tools.
Invitation to connect with NOCD for support.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“OCD wants you to know everything that’s going to happen and how it goes.” — Dr. McGrath (01:04)
“Allow that to be there and learn that you can handle that.” — On imperfection (02:27)
“Go ahead, step in and say something, and then go back to doing what you were doing instead of fretting…” — On handling difficult conversations (03:50)
“If OCD did actually tell the truth, my job would be to give OCD out to everybody… Nobody would want that.” — On the fallacy of needing OCD (05:48)
“OCD doesn’t ever add anything that makes anything better whatsoever. It only muddies the water…” — On OCD’s unhelpfulness (07:36)
“I choose to be thankful today for the way things go and not to try to make things go the way OCD wants them to go.” — Key message (08:06)

Key Timestamps

00:00–01:15 — Gratitude and thanksgiving frame
01:15–02:20 — How OCD disrupts holidays
02:20–03:10 — Embracing imperfection
03:10–04:07 — Managing conversations
04:07–04:53 — Community over perfection
04:53–06:00 — Disputing OCD’s lies
06:00–07:01 — Redefining recovery
07:01–07:48 — OCD and holiday stress
07:48–End — Gratitude, choices, and sign-off

Takeaway

This episode is a reassuring, actionable guide for anyone struggling with OCD around the holidays. Dr. McGrath stresses that Thanksgiving need not be perfect to be joyful and that letting go of compulsive control is a core part of recovery. Focusing on community, tolerating uncertainty, and making intentional choices are key to keeping OCD from dominating the holiday experience.

Transcript

A (0:00)

As we come upon the Thanksgiving holiday, I'm thankful for many things. I'm thankful for the opportunity to work here at nocd, to be able to influence the lives of people who have Obsessive Compulsive Disorder through either working with them one on one or in groups, or through the training that we provide to clinicians so that they learn what OCD is and how to utilize exposure and response prevention therapy and as their main tool in battling against the influence that OCD has in the lives of the members that come to see us. I'm thankful for friends and family and the support that they've provided me now and even several years ago through very difficult times in my life. I'm thankful for a future where I don't really know what's going to happen. And I'm excited to figure that out. OCD would not like that. By the way, OCD wants you to know everything that's going to happen and how it goes. And I'm thankful for the fact that I have a few moments with you to talk about how OCD might try to interfere with your holiday. So let's talk about that so that maybe you'll have a better way of approaching Thanksgiving without OCD being a guest that tries to spill the wine all over the table and throw the turkey across the room. First of all, the setup doesn't have to be perfect. Even though OCD says you've got all these people coming to your home and if it's not perfect, what will they say and what will they think? I'd encourage you to consider purposely putting something, even if it's so very slight, just out of place. Allow that to be there and learn that you can handle that. Number two, you don't have to control all of the conversations going on at the party. That one uncle of yours is going to say something political and that other aunt will have something religious. Those two topics that we're not supposed to talk about when we're at family parties. And hopefully we can just let it fade on its own without having to intervene. And you know what? If it does get heated, go ahead, step in and say something, and then go back to doing what you were doing instead of fretting about how everybody else might be feeling about the party and the whole experience right now. That's something to definitely practice. I wish it would work on the first try, but its practice would, I think, be very, very helpful to you. Also, keep in mind that the goal of the day is the community, right? The experience. Maybe the turkey's a little colder than you would like. Maybe the stuffing is a little bit too moist. Who knows? But you know what? These things happen. And in the end, when people leave, the thing they'll remember the most is the time that they had and not one individual piece of food or one individual person. OCD will tell you that you need to be in control of 100% of absolutely everything. And if you're not, the proverbial poop will hit the fan and ruin the party. And I want you to be able to recognize that just because OCD says that, it does not make it true. It does not make it real, and it does not have to actually cause anything to occur. One of the great lies of OCD is that you need it in order to function and survive. And unfortunately, one of the great beliefs that people with OCD hold onto is that OCD is telling the truth when we know in reality it is not. Because if OCD did actually tell the truth, my job would be to give OCD out to everybody, because I would say, hey, it looks like you're having a rough day, and maybe you're missing some truth statements. How about some obsessive compulsive disorder? And I hope in me saying that, you all go, ooh, nobody would want that. And you're right, nobody would want that. And I would never do that, because that would not be helpful. So if we know that giving OCD to people would not be helpful, then I think we can infer that taking OCD away, or at least the influence of OCD away from the lives of people who have it would be great. I wish we could 100% take it away. We haven't figured that out yet, but sometimes I think that the definition that people have about getting rid of OCD means I'll never have a thought or image or urge again that I don't want. And that would mean that you weren't being human. All of us have thoughts, images, and urges that we may not like, and we learn how to handle them and live with them. And that's the way that you overcome OCD is by allowing yourself to learn that you can live with that experience. With the holiday, there's added pressures that everybody puts on themselves. And therefore, when there's added pressure, there's added stress. And OCD loves a stressor. And when a stressor comes in, OCD tells this other lie that says, hey, stressors, I can help with those. Please don't believe that statement, because OCD doesn't ever add anything that makes anything better whatsoever. It only muddies the water. It only stirs the pot. But not in the way you want the pot to be stirred, let me tell you. So in the end, think about this. This is a day to celebrate. This is a day to enjoy. This is a day that mistakes can be made. This is a day that doesn't have to be perfect. And this is the day that you can make a choice. And that choice is, I choose to be thankful today for the way things go and not to try to make things go the way OCD wants them to go. And I think if you do that, you're on a great road to recovery. Have a great holiday, everyone. And remember, work on living the life you want to live and not the life that OCD wants you to live. And if you're looking for help with that, well, hey, check us out@nocd.com try a few sessions before those holidays come to help you really prepare for them so that you've got some great tools available to you before the actual date. We'd be happy to meet with you. We hope to hear from you soon.