Podcast Summary: "I'm An Author and I Have OCD"

Podcast: Get to know OCD
Host: NOCD (Dr. Patrick McGrath)
Guest: Emily Bartheisler
Date: September 18, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features Emily Bartheisler, an acclaimed children’s and young adult author, discussing her lifelong experience with OCD (Obsessive Compulsive Disorder), its intersections with her creativity and career, and her journey to treatment and self-acceptance. Emily shares personal anecdotes about grappling with neurodiversity, busting the myth of the "tortured artist," and the shift toward embracing and celebrating mental health differences.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Introduction to Emily Bartheisler and Her Work

• Emily’s Writing Focus:
  • Writes for “people who are 12 or have ever been 12” (00:00).
  • Books are aimed at children, families, and intergenerational audiences.
  • Topics include environmentalism, consumerism, and neurodiversity.
• Living with OCD:
  • “I have been living with OCD for as long as I can remember.” (00:05)
  • Part of the community has helped her understand herself more (03:08).

Childhood and Early Experience of OCD

• No Distinct ‘Onset’ Moment:
  • “I never had that moment.” (05:27)
  • Grew up with multiple neurodivergent traits, including synesthesia and generalized anxiety.
  • Difficulty telling where one trait ends and another begins (05:49).
• Compulsions as a Child:
  • Magical thinking to protect family; rituals to prevent harm.
  • “What a burden for a five year old to be...I have to keep the boat afloat.” (08:05)
• Intersection of Synesthesia and OCD:
  • Synesthesia used as a coping strategy; can increase overwhelm in stimulating environments (16:34).

OCD and Creativity

• Reframing OCD as Potential:

  • “What if we could sort of like, take these OCD traits and think of them like special skills and figure out how we could put them to use?” (10:07)
  • OCD can manifest as drive, creativity, and the “what if” machine essential to writing.
  • Parallels to ADHD’s hyperfocus and anxiety-driven diligence (10:07-12:38).

• Memorable Quote:

  • “Drive and creativity are two really essential parts of my career of being a writer... I am, for better, for worse, super driven. And that can mean a lot of good things, and it can mean a lot of bad things.” (12:38)

The Impact of Synesthesia

• Discovery and Representation:
  • Only learned what synesthesia was 15 years ago.
  • Assumed her sensory experience was universal (14:18).
  • Describes how synesthetic overwhelm and OCD create unique challenges.
  • “I always thought of [museum overstimulation] as a moral failing of mine... it was very freeing to figure out, oh no, it’s not that I’m a bad person... it is part of how my brain works.” (16:34)

Changing Perceptions and Stigma

• Myth of the "Tortured Artist":

  • Internalized the stereotype that suffering is essential for creativity.
  • “I am here to tell you from the other side, it’s the opposite of that. I am a writer because I take medication for OCD.” (00:51, 35:17)
  • Discusses the importance of treatment and how medication unlocked her creativity (33:32-35:38).

• Societal Change:

  • Much more openness about mental health today compared to when she grew up.
  • Celebrating neurodiversity rather than hiding it (18:34).

• Stigma in Medication for Mental Health:

  • “We don’t give the side eye to someone who takes thyroid med, but we still do it to someone who takes a SSRI...” (38:05)
  • Describes contrasting experiences being treated for physical vs. mental health issues during pregnancy (36:15).

Writing as Therapy and Responsibility

• Three Levels of Therapeutic Writing:

  1. Personal: Learning and processing through research and creativity (20:33).
  2. Readers: Books as empathy portals, reducing loneliness for others.
  3. Healing the Past Self: “I’m writing for myself, I’m writing for the readers and I’m writing for my childhood self.” (20:33)

• Responsibility to Audience:

  • Care when addressing difficult subjects with children.
  • Constant self-reflection on appropriateness and authenticity (23:42).

Treatment Journey & Advice

• Milestones:

  • First time on medication: learned to celebrate forgetfulness as lowered hypervigilance (30:09).
  • “Letting go of that baggage is also going to mean letting go of things like always having your key with you. And if you can celebrate those victories and not see it as a failing...how great.” (31:45)

• Advocating for Treatment:

  • “I wish I had done it sooner.” (48:38)
  • Encourages openness to different therapy types and patience with the process—“it’s going to be a journey and trial and error.”
  • Highlights persistent myths that medication or treatment dulls creativity—“there is something out there that will not dull your creativity, but will actually unlock your creativity even more.” (48:38-49:46)

• Community and Resources:

  • Emphasizes leveraging organizations like NOCD and IOCDF.
  • “Reach out, ask questions, find… the Internet...has allowed us to connect with people in a...less lonely way.” (52:32)

Representation of OCD in Writing

• Difficulty Writing OCD Overtly:
  • Fears of overwhelming readers and self-exposure.
  • Subtle elements of OCD traits present in characters before even self-aware (39:18–46:57).
  • “I feel such a responsibility to get it right. In some ways, it’s harder for me to write about than other things.” (39:18)
• Need for Boundaries:
  • Importance of balancing vulnerability and personal protection when sharing publicly about OCD and synesthesia (43:16).

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On OCD as Creativity:

  “Drive and creativity are two really essential parts of my career of being a writer...I am, for better, for worse, super driven.”
  — Emily Bartheisler (12:38)

• On Medication’s Role in Writing:

  “I am here to tell you from the other side, it’s the opposite...I am a writer because I take medication for OCD. It allows me...to step back enough to have some perspective on how my brain is working and what I need to use in what way.”
  — Emily Bartheisler (35:17)

• On Celebrating Progress:

  “I locked myself out of my college dorm room...and we were celebrating because the fact that I was able to forget my key and lock myself out was a sign that my vigilance had been turned down enough to make a difference.”
  — Emily Bartheisler (30:09)

• On Destigmatizing and Representation:

  “To go into a school visit and be like, I have OCD. And I did this...what a world, what a different world.”
  — Emily Bartheisler (46:57)

• Advice to Others:

  “You may have to try two or three different kinds of medication, but there is something out there that will not dull your creativity, but will actually unlock your creativity even more. Like, if you think that...medicine would hinder you, you don’t even know how not being on medicine is hindering you.”
  — Emily Bartheisler (49:19)

Timestamps for Important Segments

• Emily Introduces Herself & Her Work (03:08)
• Describing Early OCD Experiences (05:27–08:05)
• Discussion of Intersectionality: Synesthesia, OCD, and Anxiety (09:41–14:55)
• OCD as a Creative Asset (10:07, 12:38)
• Changing Stigma & Myths About Creativity and Mental Health (33:23–36:08)
• Therapy and Medication Journey (30:09)
• Writing as Therapy: The Three Levels (20:33)
• Challenges Writing About OCD Overtly (39:18–46:57)
• Final Advice & Advocacy for Treatment (48:38–53:12)
• Where to Find Emily’s Work (53:16)

Conclusion

This engaging episode not only demystifies OCD and neurodivergence through Emily's candid storytelling, but also inspires listeners with the message that treatment enables—not hinders—creativity and authentic living. Emily and Dr. McGrath discuss the evolving understanding of mental health, the importance of accessing community resources, and the joy and responsibility of sharing lived experience to pave a clearer path for others.

Connect with Emily Bartheisler

• Books: The Color of Sound, Aftermath (audiobooks read by Emily herself)
• Instagram: @elybartheisler
• Available at: Local bookstores, Bookshop.org, Amazon, Target, Walmart, etc.

For those considering treatment: "Start. And reach out. It’s okay for it to be hard. It will be hard. You’re not alone, and now more than ever, help—and hope—is available."
(See: nocd.com for resources.)