Podcast Summary

Get to Know OCD – "Living 32 Years Without Knowing I Had OCD"

Host: Dr. Patrick McGrath, NOCD Chief Clinical Officer
Guest: Chelsea Risko
Date: October 2, 2025

Episode Overview

This episode features Chelsea Risko, who shares her experience living with undiagnosed OCD for 32 years. Chelsea candidly discusses her journey from childhood, through various life milestones, to finally being diagnosed and treated for OCD as an adult. With humor and vulnerability, she describes the variety of OCD themes she's battled, her path to finding hope and recovery through Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) therapy, and how this journey has shaped her empathy and advocacy.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Chelsea’s Story and OCD Discovery

• Late Diagnosis & Lived Experience
  • Chelsea didn't know she had OCD until age 32. She describes her childhood and early adult life as living with a "low hum" of anxiety and fear without understanding the cause.
  • "I've had every theme. I literally, like, you could name a theme and I would tell you a moment in which I had it, because OCD has jumped and jumped and jumped and jumped trying to get me. OCD is not original. It's just wearing a different mask and asking a different question that might trigger you." (00:00)
• Pivotal Moment: Suicidal OCD
  • In the fall of 2021, Chelsea experienced vivid and frightening intrusive thoughts related to suicide, prompting her to seek help.
  • She called the suicide helpline (988) and, after being guided through anxiety management, began Googling her symptoms, eventually discovering an article about "suicidal OCD" by NOCD.

Diagnosis and Recovery Process

• Validation and Professional Support
  • Chelsea scheduled a free call with NOCD and was reassured by their intake specialist, which led to therapy and a formal diagnosis.
  • ERP therapy was life-saving but intimidating at first, requiring her to face fears rather than seeking certainty.
• Progress Marked by Data
  • Chelsea notes a 90% reduction in her OCD scores and describes herself as “living subclinical,” having learned to recognize and dismiss OCD’s voice.

Retrospective Understanding & OCD Themes

• Childhood Manifestations
  • Chelsea recalls intense fears of death at age five and describes compulsive behaviors related to seeking reassurance from loved ones.
• Major Life Events as OCD Triggers
  • On her wedding day, she experienced relationship OCD, seeking constant reassurance from friends and her soon-to-be husband.
  • Motherhood and postpartum periods were also key themes, with magical thinking and fears about harm.

On Living with Doubt and the Nature of OCD

• The Game of Certainty
  • Chelsea discusses the “game” OCD plays, emphasizing its relentless doubt and the illusion of certainty.
  • "OCD is called the doubting disorder. You can't give it an answer because it will doubt every answer you give it, even though it demands you to give it an answer that's true and real and a hundred percent." – Dr. McGrath (22:23)
  • Chelsea’s turning point was realizing she’d never appease OCD and choosing to endure discomfort for eventual freedom.
  • "I'd rather focus on fighting this thing and hating those moments for a little while so then I can have freedom." (23:24)

Advocacy for ERP

• ERP as the Gold Standard
  • Despite community debates about therapeutic approaches, Chelsea affirms ERP’s effectiveness, honesty about its challenge, and the necessity of advocating for it.
  • "It is hard. It is hard. I will absolutely validate that... Living, when you are doing compulsions to survive, living, is freedom from OCD." (24:02)
• Tips for Others
  • Encourages seeking help and warns against “quick fixes” and unproven remedies, urging connection to trained professionals and reputable resources.

Addressing Common Misconceptions

• OCD Isn’t a Superpower
  • Both Chelsea and Dr. McGrath critique the idea that OCD is helpful or desirable, emphasizing the suffering involved and distinguishing personal growth from the disorder itself.
  • “The getting through it. But that was me. I did that. OCD had nothing to do with me overcoming OCD." (28:54)
• No “Easier” Subtypes
  • Reflection on how every OCD theme is uniquely tormenting, with no “easier” type, reinforcing solidarity among sufferers.

Living in Recovery – Life Changes & Advocacy

• Empathy and Advocacy
  • Chelsea describes increased empathy and a motivational shift to support others who struggle in silence, highlighting the importance of community and sharing stories.
• Misunderstanding from Others
  • Touches on difficulties with non-physical (mental) compulsions being misunderstood and the lack of visible symptoms creating challenges with employers and peers.
• The Importance of Values
  • Advocates aligning actions with personal values rather than OCD’s demands:
  • "I'm in the driver's seat and I get to drive what life looks like. I get to make decisions, value-based decisions." (44:00)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On Discovering Her Diagnosis (00:00):
  "I did not know I had OCD up until about three years ago. So I've lived my entire life with it."

• On ERP Therapy (24:02):
  "Living, when you are doing compulsions to survive, living, is freedom from OCD."

• On Fighting for Freedom (23:24):
  "I'd rather focus on fighting this thing and hating those moments for a little while so then I can have freedom."

• On Advocacy and Empathy (32:04):
  "I have so much more empathy for those who struggle with mental health... I don't want anyone to feel like they're alone in this, because OCD will run with that and will isolate the person and make them feel like they can't share."

• On Intrusive Thoughts (19:20):
  "My goal was to not have intrusive thoughts anymore. I laugh now because I'm like, oh, sweet girl, that's not reality."

• On Misconceptions (28:54):
  "The getting through it. But that was me. I did that. OCD had nothing to do with me overcoming OCD."

Important Timestamps

• 00:00: Chelsea recounts not knowing she had OCD for 32 years
• 06:43: First diagnosis following a mental health crisis (suicidal OCD)
• 12:22: Reflection on how the diagnosis explains childhood and adulthood struggles
• 15:28: Using acceptance of uncertainty to disarm OCD
• 18:27: Disconnection from intrusive thoughts and the importance of recognizing OCD’s “voice”
• 23:24: Choosing ERP and focusing on long-term freedom over short-term relief
• 24:02: Endorsing ERP despite its difficulty
• 28:32: Addressing misconceptions about OCD making people “better” or being desirable
• 32:04: Empathy, advocacy, and the need for community
• 38:03: Challenges with invisible, mental compulsions and workplace misunderstandings
• 44:00: Using personal values to navigate recovery
• 46:14: Chelsea’s final advice on seeking help and professional support

Chelsea’s Advice for Listeners

• Don't be afraid to seek help because you think your OCD is "too bad"; professionals have heard it all and want to help.
• ERP is difficult but transformative—true living is found in breaking free from OCD’s grip, not in temporary compulsions.
• Shun quick fixes or unproven remedies; seek out reputable therapists and resources such as NOCD or IOCDF.
• Recovery is possible, and no theme disqualifies anyone from hope or healing.

Where to Find Chelsea

• Instagram: @the_ocd_girly
• Upcoming appearances: IOCDF Faith and OCD Conference

Closing Reflection

This episode offers a deeply personal, honest, and practical look at living with OCD, finding hope in evidence-based treatment, dismantling harmful stereotypes, and building an empathetic community. Chelsea’s story is a resource for anyone curious about real-life OCD, the power of therapy, and the transformative journey toward recovery.