Get to Know OCD – Episode Summary
Podcast: Get to Know OCD
Host: Dr. Patrick McGrath
Guest: Braden Smith, Indianapolis Colts NFL Player
Episode: NFL Player Braden Smith Opens Up About His OCD Journey
Date: November 6, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode dives deep into the lived experience of Braden Smith—a professional NFL player with the Indianapolis Colts—as he unpacks his journey through OCD, specifically religious scrupulosity. Host Dr. Patrick McGrath guides Braden through his struggles, turning points, and the multifaceted treatment approaches he explored, including exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy and alternative psychedelic-assisted therapies. Their conversation spotlights the realities of mental health in elite sports and beyond, emphasizing hope, empowerment, and the importance of breaking stigma and isolation.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Braden’s Early OCD Experiences and Scrupulosity
- Recognition and Impact ([00:05]–[06:43])
- Braden recalls early signs, mainly relentless mental review of perceived sins, feeling compelled to experience enough guilt:
“I would review those moments over in my head over and over and over again because I felt like I had to feel a certain amount of guilt and it was never enough…” —Braden, [00:05]
- OCD intensified after Braden embraced his faith and became a father—two major life changes and stressors.
- Idle time during the off-season and post-knee surgery allowed OCD to flourish.
- Realization occurred after reading about “religious scrupulosity” online:
“I randomly came across something like a little online article talking about religious scrupulosity...That's the first time I really like that. Like, maybe I do have, like, ocd.” —Braden, [04:49]
- Braden recalls early signs, mainly relentless mental review of perceived sins, feeling compelled to experience enough guilt:
- The Loop of Reassurance and Hopelessness ([08:30]–[11:54])
- Describes endless cycles of reassurance seeking—turning to online forums, clergy, family—but never finding the certainty OCD demands.
- Braden highlights the frustration and despair these cycles create in relationships and self-esteem.
“I don't know if it was necessarily frustration that was like coming...early on it was just like a lot of fear, a lot of hopelessness ...just crawled into a shell.” —Braden, [11:54]
Intrusiveness of OCD and Life Disruption
- Loss of Enjoyment & Urgency ([13:16]–[15:28])
- OCD took over, pushing aside joy in football and family.
- Describes an all-consuming fear of not doing everything "right", even to the point of fearing something bad would happen if rituals were missed.
- OCD kept him stuck in the past and future, rarely able to be present:
“You know, for the first 28 years of my life, I screwed up. So I need 28 more years to make up for those.” —Braden, [15:15]
Treatment Journey: Traditional, Intensive, and Alternative Approaches
-
Therapy Exploration & Challenges ([16:04]–[17:17])
- Started with ERP (exposure and response prevention) but struggled to commit due to NFL and life demands.
- Attempted transcranial magnetic stimulation (TMS), ketamine, pharmaceuticals, and an intensive stay at a general mental health facility which he felt lacked OCD-specific support.
- Found significant breakthrough through psychedelic-assisted therapy:
“Something that I found really helped was some psychedelic therapy...Ibogaine and also 5-MeO-DMT...it kind of broke down the wall for me.” —Braden, [17:17]
- Following the psychedelic therapy, Braden engaged in intensive, OCD-specific therapy in a peaceful setting, solidifying new coping skills while the effects of ibogaine lingered in his system.
-
Turning Point and Self-Empowerment ([20:27]–[23:41])
- After treatment, Braden describes a dramatic reduction in fear and anxiety, and a new-found “supreme confidence” to fight back against OCD.
"After that treatment, it's like all that kind of just, like, melted away. And...gave me like this supreme confidence...now it's my time to fight back." —Braden, [20:27]
- After treatment, Braden describes a dramatic reduction in fear and anxiety, and a new-found “supreme confidence” to fight back against OCD.
Tools for Recovery and Living with OCD
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Applying ERP and Fighting Fear ([23:41]–[28:39])
- Braden internalizes the lesson: “do the opposite” of what OCD demands (ERP principle), using humor and willingness to step toward fears rather than away.
- Describes a mental shift: instead of avoiding or suppressing intrusive thoughts, he faces them—taking away their power.
- Utilizes metaphors:
- The “nightmare dinosaur” story—jumping into the mouth of fear rather than running away ([21:29])
- “Boogeyman in the closet”—opening the door removes the threat ([27:14])
- Recognizes that avoidance only strengthens OCD; active exposure and acceptance is key.
-
Relationship with Faith, Post-Treatment ([28:39]–[34:34])
- Now sees faith as organic and personal, not ritualistic or perfectionistic.
“I can receive that grace now...I have that acceptance. And, you know, I can receive that grace now.” —Braden, [30:49]
- Recognizes that OCD and faith are fundamentally opposed:
“OCD does not like faith because faith is the acceptance or belief in something without absolute proof. And OCD says, oh, no, we need the proof. You got to find the proof.” —Dr. McGrath, [34:15] "You can't find more polar opposites than those two..." —Braden, [34:34]
- Understands “missing the mark” (sin) as an opportunity for growth rather than a source of endless guilt.
- Now sees faith as organic and personal, not ritualistic or perfectionistic.
Stigma, Openness, and Community
- The Power of Talking About OCD ([35:44]–[42:27])
- Emphasizes the value of community and openness—having teammates with OCD brought validation and hope:
“Knowing someone else had the same things...gave me that hope and kind of peace. Like, you know, there is a light in the tunnel.” —Braden, [41:32]
- Dismantles stereotypes—OCD is not just about neatness; it’s about intrusive, distressing thoughts, often invisible to others:
"You wouldn't think I'd have OCD the way I have my locker at the facility, for sure." —Braden, [42:27]
- Emphasizes the value of community and openness—having teammates with OCD brought validation and hope:
Advice and Takeaways
- On Seeking Help and Trying New Treatments ([42:27]–[44:54])
- Encourages vulnerability and confronting fear—with professional guidance.
- Reminds listeners that OCD requires specific treatment—general therapy often falls short.
- Advocates for exploring new treatment options and taking recovery into one’s own hands.
- Emphasizes that OCD doesn't discriminate; anyone can be affected:
“It doesn't matter how big you are, how strong you are, you know, because OCD will attack anyone that it can possibly get into.” —Dr. McGrath, [44:11]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “There’s one thing to notice it, there’s another thing to be able to fight back for.” —Braden, [36:42]
- “I'm gonna call my OCD's bluff. I'm gonna do the opposite of what it says.” —Braden, [21:29]
- “Vulnerability is that strength because, I mean, without saying you have a problem, you can't address a problem, and, you know, you don't have awareness to it.” —Braden, [38:56]
- “OCD... only has as much power as we give it. Until one day it’s just like, you know what? ...I'm going to do my exposures and, you know, see what happens.” —Braden, [27:14]
- “I really just don’t care, man.” —Braden, describing his response to OCD, [37:41] & [01:04]
- “OCD keeps you in the past or in the future...” —Dr. McGrath, [14:25]
- “I think the whole point of life is growth. ...If we're just constantly, like, worried about the ruler getting smacked across the hand, like, that's not what God's all about.” —Braden, [32:08]
- "When you bring it out into the light, that's when you know you can start to take your life back and take the power back." —Braden, [44:54]
Important Timestamps & Segment Highlights
- [04:49] Braden describes the moment he first recognized his OCD as religious scrupulosity.
- [13:16] Discusses how OCD dimmed enjoyment in football and family life.
- [16:04] Lays out his full diagnostic and treatment journey—including traditional ERP, TMS, ketamine, and psychedelics.
- [20:27] Braden’s post-treatment perspective shift: from fear to confidence in facing OCD.
- [21:29] The “dinosaur” analogy—facing fears by doing the opposite of what OCD wants.
- [27:14] Applying horror movie analogies to OCD and exposure work.
- [30:49] How Braden’s relationship with faith evolved post-recovery.
- [38:56] Importance of vulnerability and seeking help.
- [41:32] Power of community and finding others with similar struggles.
- [44:54] On bringing OCD into the open to lessen its grip.
Tone and Takeaways
The episode maintains an open, hopeful, and supportive tone throughout. Braden is candid yet measured as he shares struggles and breakthroughs; Dr. McGrath offers validation, clinical context, and gentle humor. The message: Recovery is possible—and strongest when grounded in community, evidence-based treatment, self-compassion, and the courage to confront fear.
For Listeners:
If you’re struggling with OCD, know you’re not alone—specific, targeted therapy and communal support are available and effective. Be open to new avenues of healing, embrace vulnerability, and remember: be better to yourself than your OCD ever will be.
