Podcast Summary: Get to Know OCD
Episode: OCD Made Me Afraid of the People I Love Most
Host: Dr. Patrick McGrath & NOCD Team
Guest: Jen Wiles
Date: October 30, 2025
Episode Overview
This episode features an in-depth interview with Jen Wiles, a nurse and mother who shares her personal journey with harm OCD—especially how intrusive thoughts made her fear for those she loved most. Through candid conversation with the NOCD team, Jen discusses the stigma, emotional exhaustion, and path toward specialized OCD treatment that helped her reclaim meaningful moments with her family. The episode also highlights practical aspects of treatment, the importance of community, and addresses common misconceptions about OCD.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
Jen’s OCD Story: How It Began
- First Symptoms & Escalation ([00:00]–[06:56])
- Jen recalls her OCD intensifying during a period of high stress in her late twenties: finishing nursing school, getting married, and juggling multiple jobs.
- She experienced a “random thought one night about just some harm,” which rapidly spiraled into panic attacks, insomnia, and overwhelming anxiety—especially concerning harm coming to loved ones.
- Quote:
“It centered around harm and someone that was very important to me, a very important family member. And I had no idea what was happening, not a clue. It went into where I couldn't sleep. I was panicking. Every time I close my eyes, you know, that thought would be there and it just continued... It would pick and choose different people that I cared about.” —Jen Wiles [05:08]
- Hesitance to search for help due to stigma and fear of being misunderstood or judged, especially since her primary care provider was a close friend.
Stigma and Seeking the Right Help
- Barriers to Treatment ([06:56]–[11:25])
- Initial attempts at managing her OCD through primary care and nonspecific talk therapy, which provided only limited relief.
- Strong feelings of shame and secrecy because of intrusive thoughts, especially as a healthcare professional and new mother.
- Importance of Specialized Care:
“You wouldn't go to a cardiac doctor for GI problems… You need to go to someone who specializes in your brain, which is an organ.” —Jen Wiles [08:37]
- Stigma associated with psychiatric treatment, particularly in her upbringing and professional life.
OCD During Pregnancy and Motherhood
- Impact of OCD on Parenting ([11:25]–[12:13])
- Deep anxieties during and after pregnancy, leading to changes in medication against a backdrop of fear for her children’s safety.
- Quote:
“Now, looking back, now that I know more about OCD, I know that it attacks what you care about most… my family definitely is what I care about the most in my whole life.” —Jen Wiles [10:37]
Discovery of ERP and NOCD
- Finding Effective Treatment ([12:13]–[13:44])
- After years of struggle, Jen found NOCD and began Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP), which became pivotal in her recovery.
- Her first honest disclosure to a therapist via Zoom was marked by intense fear (“Is she going to call CPS?”) but also brought enormous relief and validation.
- Quote:
"Once I... knew she could help me... it was a big, big weight to lift off. To know that you find somebody that gets you and that understands." —Jen Wiles [13:38]
The Emotional Toll and the Hidden “Sludge”
- Living with OCD & Emotional Isolation ([14:26]–[17:34])
- Jen describes balancing outward functionality with an internal “sludge” of anxiety, doubt, and shame that others rarely see.
- Despite being a productive nurse and mother, she often felt emotionally absent, especially with her kids, and regrets lost moments.
- Quote:
"I like to call it a sludge... you have this life on the outside, and then you have this dark interior life... Nobody would know that I am anything but functional." —Jen Wiles [15:41]
The Role of ERP, the NOCD App, and Support
- ERP Tools & Community ([19:25]–[24:13])
- Jen credits her therapist, the ERP process, and the NOCD app’s features (journaling, SOS button, exposures) for day-to-day support.
- Finds comfort and accountability in support groups, though mostly listens rather than participates directly.
- Emphasizes the importance of exposure work and tracking small wins as tangible evidence of progress.
- On the app:
“If I’m brave, I can look back at my hard days and realize how far I’ve come... The journaling is great, the exposures are wonderful. I love how you can rate your exposures." —Jen Wiles [22:30]
Differences Before and After Treatment
- Life Changes Through ERP ([24:13]–[31:18])
- Moving from “shoving everything into a Tupperware cabinet” to feeling like she’s actively organizing and working through her challenges.
- Celebrates small wins, especially moments of presence with her children, as victories against OCD.
- Recognizes that harm thoughts target the people she loves most, illustrating how OCD distorts what matters most to sufferers.
Openness and Family Advocacy
- Breaking the Stigma for the Next Generation ([32:37]–[37:55])
- Jen’s motivation to share her story publicly: to help her children and others avoid isolation and shame.
- Determined to change the familial script of secrecy around mental health, teaching her kids that it’s okay to talk about anxiety and seek help.
- Quote:
"My kids will not know that... They will know that mom struggles, but mom does the best she can. They will know that they are so loved, you know, and they are the best things that ever happened to me." —Jen Wiles [33:21]
Major Misconceptions About OCD
- More Than Handwashing ([37:55]–[39:02])
- Host and Jen both refute the simplistic view of OCD as just handwashing or checking: “The harm and the taboo thoughts of OCD are actually the most common forms.”
- The “What if?” nature of OCD is emphasized, with hosts sharing their own therapeutic experiences.
- Quote (Host):
"The reality... is that is a portion of OCD, but not the most portion. It just happens to be the one that's most portrayed in TVs and movies..." —NOCD Host [37:55]
Advice to Her Children and Listeners
- Wise Words and Hope ([40:14]–[41:27])
- Jen addresses her children (and those listening) with advice: If this ever affects your life, know that it’s manageable and not a source of shame.
- Quote:
"Those moments when you feel like it's the absolute end of the world. It's not. You'll come out on the other side. Just remember your coping skills and that. I'm always here for you, always." —Jen Wiles [41:14]
Reflections on Sharing Her Story
- Vulnerability and Hope for Others ([41:46]–[46:26])
- Jen acknowledges initial terror and uncertainty about disclosing her mental health struggles, especially as a healthcare professional worried about stigma.
- She hopes openness encourages others to seek help and shatters the illusion that only “perfect” people are free from mental health challenges.
- Quote:
“I'm an award-winning nurse and now people are going to see this side of me and... it's terrifying, you know... but you know, I bet that the majority of people will say, man, I'm kind of like that too.” —Jen Wiles [42:13]
The Critical Importance of Accessibility
- Timely Help Saves Lives ([44:46]–[46:26])
- Jen contrasts waiting six months for a therapy appointment with instant access through the NOCD platform.
- Stresses how rapid support can change, or even save, lives.
- Quote:
“If I wouldn't have done anything, what kind of destructive behaviors would I have chosen? ...I am so thankful for your services. You know, I've never considered suicide, but I will say that I can see why that would be an option for people that are tortured like this if they don't have the proper help. So I get it. I've been there. But I am so eternally thankful for this option because it, I mean, it saved my life...” —Jen Wiles [45:14]
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- “You are not OCD. You are not what it tells you. You are actually the complete opposite of what it tells.” —Jen Wiles [00:40] & [32:12]
- “It attacks what you care about most.” —Jen Wiles [10:37]
- “I like to call it a sludge... you have this life on the outside, and then you have this dark interior life... Nobody would know that I am anything but functional.” —Jen Wiles [15:41]
- “My kids will not know that... They will know that mom struggles, but mom does the best she can. They will know that they are so loved.” —Jen Wiles [33:21]
- “It’s not really conquered, it’s just managed. And I am understanding that, you know, this is going to be something that's lifelong. It's going to ebb and flow.” —Jen Wiles [30:45]
- “If I can do this to help one single person, for them to know that they are not alone... then I’ve done my job.” —Jen Wiles [35:24]
Timestamps for Key Segments
| Timestamp | Segment Description | |------------|---------------------------------------------------------------| | 00:00–04:42| Jen’s early experiences and onset of harm OCD | | 06:56–08:37| The challenge of seeking help and stigma in the medical field | | 10:37–11:25| Impact of OCD on pregnancy and motherhood | | 12:13–13:44| Discovery of ERP and NOCD | | 14:26–17:34| Living with invisible “sludge” and emotional cost | | 19:25–24:13| Effectiveness of ERP, the app, and support groups | | 24:13–31:18| Reflections on progress, small wins, ongoing management | | 32:37–37:55| Motivation to speak publicly and promote family openness | | 37:55–39:02| Addressing OCD misconceptions | | 40:14–41:27| Advice for her children and others | | 41:46–46:26| Vulnerability, community, and the necessity of accessible care|
Tone and Language
- The tone is conversational, vulnerable, and hopeful, with moments of humor and warmth.
- Language is raw, honest, and supportive, often with emphasis on dismantling stigma and encouraging compassion.
Summary
This episode provides a brave, nuanced look inside the lived reality of harm OCD, the deep fear it can create around the people sufferers love most, and the shame that so often silences those who experience it. Jen’s journey—from internalizing her distress and fearing judgment, to finding community, specialized care, and—most importantly—her own voice, is both relatable and inspiring. The discussion offers concrete hope: OCD, though never fully “conquered,” can be managed, meaningful moments reclaimed, and a new, honest way of living modeled for future generations.
If you or someone you know relates to Jen’s story, visit nocd.com for more information and support.