Podcast Summary: Get to Know OCD

Episode: OCD Made My Own Thoughts Feel Unsafe

Host: Dr. Patrick McGrath (A)
Guest: Faith Hillmer (B), Associate Therapist at NOCD
Date: January 18, 2026

Episode Overview

This episode spotlights Faith Hillmer’s personal and professional journey with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD). She shares her path from working in mental health, discovering her own OCD diagnosis as an adult, her advocacy and clinical work at NOCD, and the value of lived experience in therapy. The discussion emphasizes breaking stigma, the evolution of effective treatment (ERP), and hope for those struggling with OCD.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

Faith’s Mental Health Career Beginnings

• Faith’s Early Experience: Started her career in a residential hospital on an OCD adolescent unit, which reshaped her understanding of OCD (00:53–01:50).
• Shift in Perception: Saw firsthand that OCD was much more debilitating than the "quirky, clean, organized" stereotype (04:43–05:43).

Discovering Her Own OCD

• Late Recognition: Faith realized her own OCD symptoms after working with patients, dispelling her initial doubts that she was just "convincing" herself (06:12–07:36).
• Doubt with Diagnosis: Even after three professional diagnoses, she struggled to believe she had OCD due to self-doubt and professional proximity biases (07:38–07:56).

“Let me start by noting that it took me getting diagnosed by three different professionals…before I actually believed the diagnosis.” – Faith (07:38)

Living with OCD as a Clinician

• Personal Impact: Faith discusses harm OCD, avoidance behaviors, and how ERP empowered her to regain control—like driving again (08:46–10:17).
• ERP in Practice: Her experience as both therapist and person with OCD enhances her empathy and encourages clients (19:27–21:11).

“Literally the driver's seat has changed in some ways.” – Dr. McGrath (10:17)

• On Being Triggered: Faith finds her lived experience enhances rather than hinders her work, citing improved understanding and relatability (19:27–21:11).

"My lived experience actually just serves as benefit to our sessions in that members feel so understood." – Faith (19:33)

Adoption and Empathy

• Background: Adopted at age 2, Faith describes the impact of adoption on her empathy and motivation to go into mental health (10:37–13:41).
• Adoption and Difference: Discusses how being adopted contributed to feelings of being different, sometimes fueling OCD themes like fear of abandonment (13:42–14:59).

"It often was just this reminder of not necessarily being good enough. Right? Or fears like that that kind of were fueled by the adoption." – Faith (15:02)

Choosing OCD as a Specialty

• Origins of Interest: Originally wanted to work with adoptive families, but found herself better suited for anxiety and OCD populations—drawn by her own experiences and exposure to effective treatment (16:57–18:44).
• Effectiveness of ERP: Cites witnessing ERP’s impact in a clinical setting as a major motivator.

Being a Therapist with OCD

• Common Concerns: Addresses the question of whether therapists with OCD are triggered and reassures that lived experience can be a "superpower" (18:44–19:33).
• Response Prevention: Describes the difficulty and eventual success of implementing response prevention, and how it’s now a core part of her clinical approach (21:38–23:01).

Gaps in Professional Training

• Lack of OCD Focus in Academia: Faith did not learn about OCD in her master’s program; most therapist training ignores OCD (23:09–23:34).

"I never once discussed, learned of, or heard a mention of obsessive compulsive disorder in my master's program." – Faith (23:09)

Advancing the Field and the Future

• Ongoing Learning: Highlights NOCD’s comprehensive training, learning about the diverse presentations of OCD (24:42–26:07).
• Supporting Each Other: Treating OCD as a therapist helps her manage her own symptoms and offers better understanding for clients (26:40–27:31).

Realness of OCD Suffering

• Intensity of OCD: Discusses how real intrusive thoughts and anxieties feel, and how difficult it is for outsiders to understand (27:29–28:25).

"Why does it have to feel so real? …Because if it didn’t go there and it didn’t feel real, nobody would be bothered by it. Nobody would do compulsions..." – Dr. McGrath (27:31)

ERP Process and Measurement

• Explaining SUDS: Details using the subjective units of distress scale (SUDS) to help clients gradually face fears (29:37–31:12).

Encouragement to Future OCD Clinicians

• For Aspiring Therapists with OCD: Strongly encourages others with OCD to pursue mental health careers, citing her own experience as empowering for both self and clients (31:22–32:57).

“The lived experience, I’ve literally had members call it a superpower of mine...” – Faith (31:43)

Innovation and Access

• Speculating on the Future: Both discuss potential evolutions—such as hologram and VR therapy, and increased global access (33:43–35:57).

Final Encouragement

• Why Seek Treatment?: Faith stresses that living with untreated OCD is more frightening than any exposure in therapy and shares hope for recovery (36:52–37:37).

"Nothing that you do with an OCD specialist is ever going to feel as scary as it does to live with untreated OCD." – Faith (36:52)

Memorable Quotes

• "I think that OCD can literally latch onto absolutely anything." – Faith (24:42)
• “You can actually get through this.” – Faith (21:10)
• "Once I started doing [response prevention], I felt better so quick that it almost became like, addictive to get better." – Faith (21:38)
• “For me, the recommendation...is that no exposure or nothing that you do with an OCD specialist is ever going to feel as scary as it does to live with untreated ocd.” – Faith (36:52)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Faith’s Entry into Mental Health & NOCD: 00:53–02:44
• Discovering Her Own OCD: 05:43–07:56
• Struggles with Acceptance of Diagnosis: 07:38–07:56
• Personal Harm OCD Example & ERP: 08:46–10:27
• Faith’s Adoption & Empathy: 10:37–15:02
• ERP as Therapist with OCD: 19:27–21:11
• Professional Training Gaps: 23:09–23:34
• Explaining the SUDS Scale: 29:37–31:12
• Advice for Aspiring OCD Therapists: 31:22–32:57
• Final Message to Those Considering Treatment: 36:52–37:37

Episode Takeaways

• OCD is not a quirky personality trait—it is a debilitating, shape-shifting condition, deeply misunderstood outside clinical spaces.
• Lived experience enhances empathy and effectiveness in therapy; having OCD can be an asset for clinicians.
• Exposure and Response Prevention (ERP) works, and lived experience helps clinicians guide clients through it.
• Graduate training often lacks adequate OCD education, highlighting the need for better curriculum and continued professional education.
• Seeking treatment is essential—living with untreated OCD is harder than any therapy.
• The OCD field is evolving, with teletherapy increasing access and new technologies on the horizon.
• Hope for recovery abounds, and breaking stigma and isolation is possible.

For more on OCD treatment or becoming a therapist, visit nocd.com.
Dr. McGrath's closing message: "Be better to yourself than your OCD ever would be."