Podcast Summary: “The Day OCD Almost Ended My Relationship”
Podcast: Get to know OCD
Host: NOCD (Episode is a guest monologue by Alex)
Date: June 1, 2025
Episode Overview
This powerful episode features Alex, who bravely recounts her struggle with Relationship OCD (ROCD) and the day it almost led to the end of her relationship. She provides an honest, detailed look at OCD’s impact on personal connections, her journey through crisis, and the transformative role of proper therapy. Alex offers hope to those suffering by sharing her path from despair to healing, culminating in her engagement four years later.
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. The Onset and Nature of Relationship OCD
- Intrusive Thoughts & Confessions:
- Alex describes the persistent, distressing thoughts (“did I cheat? Did I flirt? Did I think someone else was attractive?”) that plagued her early in her relationship (00:18–01:44).
- Memorable quote:
- "It led to a lot of confessions to him, which obviously were really hurtful because, like, who wants to hear that coming from your partner?" (00:47)
- Impact on Relationship:
- Frequent reassurance-seeking and “long messages” to her partner became routine, creating emotional strain (01:57–02:47).
2. The Breaking Point
- Crisis Moment:
- One morning, an obsessive thought spiraled after her boyfriend mentioned another girl, resulting in accusatory messages and intense anxiety (02:15–03:14).
- Asking to see her partner despite his reluctance, Alex sensed a shift in their relationship’s energy (03:33–04:23).
- Partner’s Response:
- Her boyfriend confessed feeling exhausted—"walking on eggshells"—and unsure he could “do this anymore” (04:35).
- Memorable quote:
- “He basically said that he couldn't…deal with this anymore. That the constant analyzing...the reassurance seeking, the confessing...it was just too much for him.” (04:35)
3. Facing the Aftermath and Need for Change
- Emotional Collapse:
- Alex describes feeling “defeated” and “in shambles,” haunted by previous breakups caused by OCD (05:15–06:20).
- Pleading for another chance, her boyfriend agreed to continue but left her in a vulnerable limbo (06:35–07:13).
- Insight: “That was almost as bad as him breaking up with me, because now I was in this limbo...I felt awkward and weird because...what if he ends up breaking up with me?" (06:56)
4. Turning Point: Finding the Right Therapy
- Therapist’s Advice:
- Alex’s non-specialist therapist recognized severe OCD and urged her to find a specialist (07:38–08:12).
- Starting Specialized ERP Therapy:
- Found an OCD/anxiety treatment center for intensive exposure and response prevention (ERP) therapy (08:13–08:56).
- Initial Reactions:
- “I didn't think I could do this...Those were my coping mechanisms.” (09:09)
- Understood confession and reassurance only fueled OCD.
- Exposure Hierarchy:
- Created a “hierarchy” of fears; practiced exposures by watching movies about infidelity and writing scripts about worst-case scenarios (10:40–12:32).
- Practiced delaying and withstanding urges to confess or seek reassurance (12:33–13:46).
5. Insights on Recovery
- Building Tolerance for Uncertainty:
- Learned that “sitting with discomfort” makes urges fade and breaks the OCD cycle (13:52–14:35).
- Memorable quote:
- "OCD is all about urgency...the urge tends to fade, die down really quickly..." (13:52)
- Dealing with Hopelessness:
- Alex recounts deep lows where she “wanted to give up” because recovery felt impossible, but perseverance paid off (14:37–15:57).
- Measuring Progress:
- Around six months, she noticed concrete improvements—delaying compulsions, less reassurance-seeking (16:01–17:00).
- At nine months, graduated to less frequent therapy with significant improvement and positive feedback from her partner (17:43–18:45).
6. Reflections and Hope
- Ongoing Work and Resilience:
- Recovery wasn’t linear—“of course I had my slip-ups...days I gave into a compulsion. But I didn't let it define me anymore” (19:00–19:27).
- Life After OCD:
- Now, four years later, Alex is about to get married—a powerful testament to hope and recovery (19:35–20:00).
- Key Takeaway:
- Exposure therapy “saved my relationship…allowed me to become the best version of myself in a relationship” (18:27).
- Advice to Listeners:
- There is hope for ROCD and all forms of OCD; “OCD is not a life sentence” (21:15).
- Endorses NOCD’s specialist treatment resources and encourages those in need to seek help (21:39–22:33).
Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments
- On the pain of OCD and its impact:
- “It reminded me of every previous relationship that I was in, that OCD ruined by taking it away from me.” (05:38)
- On therapy and facing fears:
- “If I don't get better, if this doesn't work, then that's it for me. I was in such a dark place because I was about to have my relationship taken away…” (09:53)
- On urges and recovery:
- “OCD is all about urgency…and when you give into it, it makes it come back again and again and again.” (13:52)
- On the power of perseverance:
- “Even in your darkest moments, there is hope. OCD is not a life sentence.” (21:15)
Important Timestamps
- 00:18 — Description of ROCD & intrusive thoughts
- 02:15 — Crisis day: intrusive thoughts spiral after boyfriend mentions another girl
- 04:35 — Boyfriend’s emotional reaction and confrontation
- 07:38 — Recommendation to seek OCD specialist
- 08:13 — Starting ERP (Exposure and Response Prevention) therapy
- 10:40–12:32 — Practicing exposures with movies, music, and script-writing
- 13:52 — Realization about urgency and OCD cycle
- 16:01 — Signs of recovery after six months
- 17:43 — Major milestone: reduced therapy sessions
- 19:35 — Present day: preparing to get married
- 21:15 — Final message of hope
Conclusion
Alex’s story illuminates both the relentless grip of OCD and the resilience required to overcome it. With honesty and clarity, she exposes the often-hidden toll OCD takes on relationships, the daunting fear of loss, and the critical turning point that specialist ERP therapy provides. Her journey, full of setbacks and victories, underscores that OCD is treatable, recovery is possible, and that even on the darkest days, hope remains.
For more on Alex’s journey, follow her Instagram: @recoverocd
For OCD resources and therapy, visit NOCD