Loading summary
Transcript1 lines
- [00:01]
A
Hi, I'm Tracy Ibrahim here at nocd. I am one of the therapists and also the chief compliance officer, and I am here today to talk about the holidays being upon us. I don't know if you freak out when it's the holidays, but many, many people who have OCD start to have spikes in their symptoms either during the holidays, before the holidays, or even right after the holidays. So we are here to talk about that and preparing yourself the best you can and living by your values. So let's talk about it. I would just really like to start with saying that one of the most common things that happens when holidays start up is that OCD starts attacking things that we value. So that might be family, it might be spending time eating good meals with families or friends, or it could be gift giving. So lots of different things that are coming up that can shake up all kinds of OCD themes and we're going to talk about them today. I'm going to share some of my own holiday war stories and you can feel free to drop some right into the comments as well. Let's just start with holidays in general. It doesn't even matter what holiday it is. Most holidays, people start to come up with some expectations, right? It's either, hey, we're going to hang out together, we're going to go somewhere together, we're going to go to somebody's house. The things that just start coming up can be things like scrupulosity, having worries about not doing something, not being just right. It could be something like contamination fears, emotional contamination, or physical contamination. It can be so many different things. But I'm going to share with you a couple of mine. I love to have people over for the holidays. I like cooking for people. I really value cooking for people. I'm actually a pretty decent cook. But as I start thinking about it, all kinds of OCD starts coming up. So it can be things like, you know, you're gonna run out of food and everybody's going to think like, you're cheap and you didn't feel like buying enough food or making enough food or you weren't thoughtful or you're not a very good host. And so then I'll tend to over buy and over make food, which is unreasonable. That is one, one small way that it starts to come out for me. Another one is through contamination. Oh, my gosh. While I'm cooking, it's like, what if that ingredient wasn't as fresh as it was supposed to be? Maybe I should have checked that. Maybe I should have Tasted that to make sure it's not spoiled. What if something that I make, everybody gets stick from it? And then they're always going to remember and they're all going to be talking about it like, ah, we went to Tracy's for this holiday meal and we were all vomiting and we all had diarrhea, which then will, of course, since we said diarrhea, goes into my next theme that comes up, which is, oh, my gosh, the people are going to be at my house using my bathroom. So my contamination fears in terms of thinking that somebody is going to be using my bathroom and touching my sink and touching my towels and touching my doors and doing all these things. And some people already know I have a pretty deep disgust contamination when it comes to poop germs that I can or cannot see. So that starts to get to me. I tend to want to listen to hear if people wash their hands. I don't do that anymore. But that is a thing that I used to do. I was a little more compulsive. I would try and go somewhere nearby to hear, like, did they wash their hands before they touched everything? Also tracking, watching what people are touching and what, you know, if they're washing their hands or not. Are you touching. Did you put your hands into, like, the hors d'? Oeuvres? And did you put something back? Are people coughing on it? Who's eating it? And it's this, this hyper fixation on just looking at all the different things that are going on. And my OCD is just sort of on fire. It also comes up in, like, seating. Oh, this is a fun one. I'm like, okay, I have to put little name cards so that the right people sit next to each other. And. And I really overthink it. It's like, oh, if this person sits here, they'll be across from that person and maybe they're not going to get along that well and they're going to have to stare into each other's eyes the whole time. So I need to move this person here and get that person over there. And then I start thinking, oh, gosh. And I'm going to put cups on the table, but what if somebody grabs the wrong cup? And now again, we've got the cross contamination. So I'm writing names on cups and I'm putting them at the seat and I'm hoping everybody just follows along. So not very fun. Um, and then when it comes to gift giving. Oh, mind blown. I can't even. And I picked this one up from my Grandmother who also had undiagnosed ocd. But I'm diagnosing her right now. I'm telling you, she, she definitely had it. She taught me to always be sure that if you get a gift that you have to find out how much it was somehow secretly, and then you have to keep track of that so that when you do a return gift, it's worth the same or more, but definitely not less, so that you're, you're giving equally so that, so that you don't get bad, you know, bad thoughts from other people or somebody thinks you're cheap. So it becomes very difficult when you're in a holiday where people are just exchanging gifts and you know, I'm getting a gift and I don't know if my gift is the same as your gift. Is it worth the same amount as your gift? So I have a lot going on in my head during the holidays. And the best thing that you can do really is like say, hold on a second, why am I even here? Why am I even having this holiday? Having this holiday because my values, my values are to spend time with friends and family, to have a nice meal with friends and family, and to exchange gifts. So really just using my mindfulness to stay present, to stay focused on the purpose of why I'm here, to, to stay in conversation with people and let all that noise just be in the background. Yep. Maybe people are going to get sick. Maybe everybody is going to die from this food that I made. Maybe I am giving the cheapest gift anybody could ever imagine and they're going to have terrible thoughts about me. And that's okay. That would be my, my major tip. But other things that, that I hear people talk about my own members, for instance, at NOCI are things like for Halloween, fearing, handing out candy to kids because either contamination or pedophilic O C D. Oh no. What if I touch a kid while I'm putting candy in their bag? Or what if I accidentally give them candy and it's poisoned or something like that. Or what if my germs from my. Whatever I have transfers to this, to the kids as I'm handing it out? So we have a lot of people as exposures during Halloween handing out candy to people in a not weird way. Just dropping that candy in and moving past it. Same with when it comes to holidays like Thanksgiving, Christmas, Hanukkah, all the things that are coming up, all of those holidays, they all come with their own challenges. And I always invite people to really think about what is your value because we have. We tend to miss holidays and missed out on things when we isolate ourselves because our OC is so loud and we're listening to it. But realistically, you're gonna live your best life when you're living by your values, not your fears. So go to those holidays. Give yourself a little bit of space and time. If you feel overwhelmed, you're up. You know, maybe you have anxiety about a variety of things. Give yourself a little breaks. You can go outside for a little walk. You can just step outside for fresh air. You can go into another room and then rejoin the party or festivities, whatever it is you're doing. Just don't miss out because OCD has already stolen enough from us as it is. The holidays can be a really tough time. But you don't have to go through this alone. Over at nocd. We are here and we are ready to help you get through the difficulty of the holidays and the aftermath. So head on over to nocd.com and and find out more about ERP and how we can help you so that you don't have to do this by yourself.