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You've known each other for so long, you're OCD and you, you're too blind to see it and imagine an entire Rick Astley song, just about that. I think it works because how much of you says, I'm never gonna give you up and OCD says I'm never gonna let you down? And that's what happens, right? We don't want to give up on OCD because OCD says I'm not gonna let you down. If you just follow along with the things that I tell you to do, all will be well. And that's what I wanted to focus on today. This idea of what keeps us stuck in there or in OCD and why don't we start therapy, right? Why, why might we be delaying that instead of getting the help that we need? So let's get into it. I'm Dr. Patrick McGrath. I'm the Chief Clinical Officer for NOCD. Part time Rick Astley cover singer, it appears now too. And I'm really excited to chat with all of you, what you can do to start getting your butt in gear, maybe for the new year. Just a little rhyming there too. So why don't people get OCD treatment? Well, there's always the. I'm fixing to get ready to do it. My favorite southern phrase in the world, which is, I'm thinking about thinking about treatment. Right? I'm. I'm not thinking about treatment. I'm thinking about thinking about treatment is really what that, that means. And it's, it's almost a way to tell yourself that you are doing something toward therapy even though you're not actually doing anything potentially therapeutic. And that's one of the things that keeps us stuck. Now, I don't say that with blame by any means. I'm, I'm not trying to sound judgmental in that whatsoever. That's. That's absolutely not the case. OCD is a really scary thing to face, right? Because it's going to tell you that if you listen to that McGrath guy and you do some of those ERP exercises and you don't do the compulsions, what if the bad, awful, horrible things you're afraid of happening really do occur, wouldn't that just be the absolutely worst thing in the world? So just do whatever you can to not listen to them. I liken it to. There's this amazing Sesame street book, and it's Grover, and it's called There's a Monster at the End of this Book. And Grover, when you open there, says, hey, thanks for coming, but just Know this. There's. There's a monster at the end of the book, so please don't turn the page. And as a child, you're like, I'm. I'm turning the page. And you do. And Grover's like, whoa, hey. And then suddenly see nails, like, in a couple of boards and a few ropes, and it's like, all right, I. I asked you not to turn the page, but you. You seem to have insisted, but this time, I have nailed the pages together. You won't be able. And you're like, oh, well, guess what, Grover? And there you turn the page, and Grover's like, whoa, you are really strong. And by the end, it's. It's like the barricade from Les Miserables. And you turn the page and there's Grover. And Grover says, oh, I'm the monster at the end of the book. Furible, furry, lovable, little old me, Grover. And I think a lot of OCD like that, where OCD sends this message to you that if you do these things, terrible, awful, horrible things will happen. And yet. Listen to the get to Know OCD podcast and talk to people who've come out on the other side of OCD through treatment who are now living the lives that they want to live and not the lives that OCD wants them to live. And you might say, yeah, but for me, it might be different, and it could be. I'm not going to say that it is a hundred percent, no, that it won't. But I don't think that you have to live a life different than anybody else who's gone through therapy. I think you, too, can have amazing results. And I say that because we know from research that exposing yourself to your fears and learning that you can handle them, facing things without doing any kind of safety behaviors is ultimately the thing that is going to be the best thing for you if you know how to drive. I'm assuming you learned how to drive without safety behaviors. I don't think you are doing a ton of diaphragmatic breathing, progressive muscle relaxation, and closed eye visualizations. Because if you were, then you just ran into other cars, right? No. Instead, what do you do? You start by getting in the passage or out of the passenger seat and into the driver's seat. You close the door, you turn the key, or now you press the button and you just sit there with your hands on the wheel and you let it idle for a little bit, then you put it into gear, but you keep your foot on the brake, right? You don't let the car move and then you slowly release the brake and you let the car start to roll. And then your friend or parent, whoever's with you, says, okay, now gently press on the brake and you hit it so hard that it almost rockets you out of the car. And you now understand what gentle means when it's braking and, and you get to the point of eventually you're driving on a highway, maybe after a few months, right? But it, we're, we're not saying that you should start right there, nor do we just jump off the high dive, nor do we take kids playing T ball and have someone throw a hundred mile an hour fastball at them, right? We, we gradually do these things to learn how to handle them. And OCD says they're not going to do that. They're going to overwhelm you. It's going to be terrible. Don't listen to them. They lie. I'm the only one who tells the truth and I hope you'll listen to me and potentially trust me that it's OCD that lies. It's not telling the truth whatsoever. And it does not have your best interest at heart. And if you want something that has your best interest at heart, it's going to be learning how to handle the things you fear and facing them and being with them and knowing that whatever that thought or that image or urge is, you can just live with it. This ceiling above me might collapse while I'm filming this. I will do no compulsions to try to stop it. I'm just going to live with the idea that that is a possibility. Another thing that gets in the way of treatment. Possibility equals probability in ocd. People with OCD very often believe that if it' possible, it's 100% probable. And therefore another great reason to not do treatment. Because if I don't do my compulsion or other safety behavior, guess what? Terrible things will happen. It's guaranteed. It's 100%, no doubt about it. Sure, it hasn't happened for anybody else it seems, but it would happen for me. So sometimes we even bring in another notion of this, this something that I call specialness. The rules of the world apply to me differently than they do to everybody else. It's fine if other people face their fears, but it's not okay if I do. I have a different way of being in the world or the universe and therefore I can't do other things that people do. That's another word that I talk about. If you believe that you can't do things versus you won't do them because you're fearful that can't is always going to hold you back because why would you ever do something or why would I ever, as a therapist, ask you to do something that you can't do? But I don't ever ask people to do things that they can't do. I only ask people to do things they won't do. And the reason they won't do them is because they're afraid of them. And so I want people to learn that you can do things that are difficult, you can do things that are uncomfortable, and you can handle them. You never have to really like them. Right? I'm not saying that that's the goal in life, is to now love whatever these intrusive thoughts, images or urges are. I just want you to know you can live with them. You can be with them. Right? I live with all of them that I've ever treated. If, if you or I were on a staircase together, I promise I'd think about throwing you down the stairs. And the reason is, is because I've treated so many people who are af. What if I push somebody down the stairs that I can no longer push? You know, get on a staircase right now without thinking about pushing people down the stairs. Now do I actually go push people down the stairs? Well, no, I do not. I've never done it. I don't have a desire to do it, but I do have a thought, image, or urge to do it when I'm on the staircase. So there's. There's this difference, right? There's. There's this hopeful recognition in people with OCD as we go through treatment that, you know, you can think anything, you can have an urge about anything, you can have an image of anything, and they just don't really matter. They don't have to have any impact or any influence on your life whatsoever. And when we get to that point, when we learn that we can handle that, that's when we start living the life that we want to live and not the life that OCD wants us to live. So that's my ultimate goal, and it's kind of my tagline lately these days, is how do I get you to really live your life and not trust the life that OCD is promising you? Because there's a parentheses in the promised life of ocd, and the parentheses kind of goes like this. So, hey, if you do this compulsion, amazing things will happen. Parentheses. That's not really true. I just like to say that. So you'll do these things close parentheses, right? And that's the MO of ocd. My MO is face these things, learn that you can handle them. You, you'll never necessarily like them, but they also won't rule your life and they don't have to get in the way. And if you can start to live a life like that where you can be with whatever it is that pops in your head and you're not ruled by it, I think you start to have a lot different levels of success than what you're achieving now. So don't, you know, don't let OCD Rickroll you, right? You can give OCD up. OCD is always going to let you down, and I want you to give it up. I hope that you will. And if you're looking for somebody to help you with that, we'd love to do that here at NOCD. Check us out@nocd.com that's n o c d dot com. If you want to see really inspiring stories about people who live with OCD who've gone through ERP, who've gotten the help for it, go to the get to Know OCD podcast. You can get it on the NOCD YouTube channel or subscribe wherever you subscribe to your favorite podcasts. We hope to see you soon, and we hope again you'll give OCD up. Thanks.