A Balm in Gilead w/ Dr. Wendy

Summary

Gettin' Grown Podcast – "A Balm in Gilead w/ Dr. Wendy"

Release Date: February 10, 2026
Hosts: Jade (Loud Speakers Network)
Guest: Dr. Wendy

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Episode Overview

This episode of Gettin’ Grown features Jade joined by Dr. Wendy, a returning guest and well-loved Black OB/GYN, in the absence of co-host Keia (away on bereavement). Their conversation blends laughter, Black womanhood, wellness, hygienic realness, and Black History Month celebration—sprinkled with family stories, practical health advice, and the timeless comfort of “kitchen table talk.” Dr. Wendy introduces her new line of intimate-care products, and the duo deep-dives into Black family lineage, love, self-care, marriage, and sharp-witted pop culture commentary.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Checking in: Navigating Grief, Faith & Everyday Gratitude

• Jade opens with care and love for Keia during her time of grief (01:55–02:28).
• Dr. Wendy reflects on having conversations with herself and God about worrying less and trusting the process:
  • “The Lord is good. He'd be looking down at me like, you complaining for why? … Had it work out last time? I'm like, it did.” (02:42–03:13)
• Both acknowledge that adulthood brings more frequent grappling with losses and transitions.

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2. Dr. Wendy’s New Intimate Care Product Line

• Dr. Wendy recently launched a Black-woman-owned, gynecologist-developed line: bar soaps, a balm, a mirror, and an underwear line (04:00–08:47).
• Emphasis on Safe Self-Care:
  • “If you have not created a system for keeping your under parts healthy and safe, I challenge you to do so. ... it does not have to include fragrance ... we don't need spice down there.” —Dr. Wendy (06:48)
• The importance of mirror inspection—using a handheld mirror (not your phone!):
  • “If you have not seen your undercarriage lately, I challenge you to do something… get a little mirror action, a little light…” —Dr. Wendy (05:19)
• Product testimony from Jade: The balm and soap are gentle, long-lasting, and made with integrity, providing comfort during life changes (08:46–09:37).

Memorable/Funny Moments

• Jade & Dr. Wendy joke about using filters on intimate photos:
  • “The filter would have sparkles and glitter. ... It would be a vaggazzle.” —Dr. Wendy (06:05–06:18)
• On the mirror: “Do you have a recommendation on how to use the mirror?” “You literally just have to unfold that thing. And get your angles together, you know, that's all you gotta do. The mirror does the work.” (10:09–10:25)

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3. Kitchen Table Talk: Celebrating Black History Month

Family Lineage & Black Resilience (17:25–26:32)

• Dr. Wendy shares her family’s story:
  • Daughter of the Great Migration, parents from Mississippi & West Virginia (17:53)
  • Her father, William Carlton Goodall—first Black man to bring and own a chain of Popeye’s franchises in Chicago (19:10).
    • “...he could just see and feel ... that he was a good person...there are still good people.” —Dr. Wendy on her father’s faith in others despite racist times (19:10–20:20)
    • On having to "pass" as white-owned to gain success due to racism (23:28)
• Lessons: Don't let society box you in, and be willing to “break out” to pursue happiness and excellence (22:30–23:26).

Teaching Black History at Home (26:34–29:38)

• Dr. Wendy and her husband (also a doctor) keep Black history a daily, normal part of their children's education.
  • “My goal… is for [my kids] to do what they love and to not be limited by what somebody else thinks they can do or cannot do.” (26:57)
  • Conversations on code-switching and why children must understand context and grammar in the wider world (28:05–29:03).

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4. Black Love: Longevity, Growth, and Realness

• Dr. Wendy and her husband (met in med school in 2003) approaching 20 years married:
  • “We got married in 2006… since I was 24 years old.” (31:25)
• On keeping marriage thriving:
  • “Let what works for you work for you. The internet is not the prototype.” (32:43)
  • “Therapy will show you yourself in a way that you don't...otherwise...Without therapy, that's like walking around the world with no mirror.” (33:20–33:40)
  • “I am not my husband's first wife... I am not the same person he married 20 years ago.” (33:58)
• Rejecting old models of unhealthy communication; teaching children emotional resilience and healthier models of partnership (34:01–36:21).

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5. Top Five Blackness: A Rapid-Fire Pop Culture Game

A. Comedians (37:52–41:38)

• Top picks: Kev On Stage, Tony Baker, Wanda Sykes, Tracy Morgan, Regina Hall
  “Ten toes down: Kev on Stage and Tony Baker are definitely 1 and 2.” —Dr. Wendy (38:34)

B. Movies (43:34–52:41)

• Sister Act 2, Love & Basketball, Best Man, Lean On Me, Coach Carter (with honorable mentions: Soul Food, King Richard)
  • On Sister Act 2: “Team Sister Act 2 is a black movie.” (44:23)

C. Songs (53:20–60:43)

• SWV’s “Weak”
• The Fugees “Killing Me Softly”
• D’Angelo “Africa”
• Milton Brunson & Thompson Community Singers “In My Name”
• Bilal “Home”
  • “I can listen to [‘Africa’] on repeat for 24 hours a day.” (54:54)

D. TV Shows (61:30–63:23)

• In Living Color, A Different World, Martin, My Wife & Kids, Living Single (plus, Everybody Hates Chris)

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6. Black Women’s Wellness & Navigating Medicine (64:14–69:55)

• Dr. Wendy’s Top 5 Medical Navigation Tips for Black Women:
  1. Trust Your Intuition: Speak up if something doesn't feel right.
  2. Build Relationships: Find providers you trust and seek explanation, not just reassurance.
  3. Partnership Over Antagonism: Work with providers as a team; “Cursing your provider out” isn’t productive.
  4. Do Quality Research: Consult reputable sources, not just TikTok or blogs.
  5. Know You’re Loved: Remember you matter—bring supportive advocates and don’t internalize loneliness.
• Candid advice:
  • “Being dismissed… If you knew something was wrong but nobody listened to you… maybe need to tell somebody else or you need to take the next step.” —Dr. Wendy (64:36)
  • “Know that you are loved because...we do care.” (67:37)

Puberty Advice for Young Black Girls/People (69:01–70:40)

• Dr. Wendy recommends a first OB-GYN visit by 18 or earlier if there are significant period issues or sexual activity.
• “Please talk to your young people without judgment….” (69:34)
• Hygiene basics: “Soap and water…these glands are waking up!" (69:55)

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7. Petty Peeves: Hygiene Myths & Straight Talk (71:20–75:40)

• Dr. Wendy’s peeve: Washing Inside the Vagina
  • “We should not be putting anything in there...Let it live on the inside. Now the outside is a different subject. Soap and water.” (72:34–72:49)
  • “The vagina is a self-cleaning oven, correct?” “From the inside, yes, but when’s the last time you used your oven’s self-cleaning feature?” (74:43–75:03)
• Jade chimes in: “Wash your dirty dicks too… nothing worse than a stink ass, dirty, cheesy dick.” (76:26–76:47)

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8. Where to Follow & Find Dr. Wendy

• Social: @DrEverywoman (Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook)
• Product Line: Everybody Brand (“everybody bodi brand”; for safe, inclusive, intimate hygiene) (77:48)

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Notable Quotes

• “Let what works for you work for you. The internet is not the prototype.” —Dr. Wendy (32:43)
• “Therapy will show you yourself in a way that you don't...otherwise... Without therapy, that's like walking around the world with no mirror.” —Dr. Wendy (33:20)
• “We don't need spice down there. If you want spicy food, go ahead. You don't need to be spicy in the vulva area.” —Dr. Wendy (07:23)
• “Soap and water, on the outside. We should not have to keep talking about this!” —Dr. Wendy (72:49)
• “Wash your dirty dicks too.” —Jade (76:26)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [01:55] — Welcoming Dr. Wendy; checking in; on grief and gratitude.
• [04:00] — Launching intimate care products: soap, balm, mirror.
• [08:46] — Product testimonies and hygiene routines.
• [17:25] — Black History talk: Dr. Wendy’s family and entrepreneurship lineage.
• [26:34] — Raising Black kids with love, confidence, code-switching, and historical awareness.
• [29:52] — 20 years of Black marriage; communication and growth.
• [37:52] — Top Five Black Comedians segment.
• [43:34] — Top Five Black Movies segment.
• [53:20] — Top Five Black Songs segment.
• [61:30] — Top Five Black TV Shows segment.
• [64:14] — Top Five tips for navigating medicine as a Black woman.
• [69:01] — Puberty advice for young Black girls and parents.
• [71:20] — Petty Peeve: Cleaning Inside the Vagina and straight talk on hygiene.

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Tone & Vibe

Conversational, candid, deeply knowledgeable, playful, with signature Gettin’ Grown Black-girl joy and sisterhood. The episode centers lived experience, scientific expertise, Black pride, and real talk—never preachy, always personal.

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For More

• Follow Dr. Wendy: @DrEverywoman
• Jade/Kiea: @gettingrownpod
• Product info: everybody bodi brand

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Summary useful for: Anyone seeking wellness, self-care advice, Black family stories, pop-culture recs, and honest guidance for healthcare navigation. Especially recommended for Black women and parents of teens.

Transcript

[A]

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[B]

The 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV. It's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar. Your lucky jersey, your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space. And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv. It's your Equinox Chevrolet. Together, let's drive. Our time short and precious? Your lips warm and luscious? You don't have to wear false charms? Cause when I wrap you in my hungry arms? Be real black for me? Be real black for me. That was gospel.

[A]

You all are welcome.

[B]

Welcome back. It was even. You know I can't sing, but I'm gonna pretend that I can. Welcome back to another episode of getting grown. Praise the Lord, niggas.

[A]

Amen.

[B]

I am joined by another very special guest co host this week. Dr. Wendy is in the house to save my ass. Dr. Wendy, excited, welcome. I'm so grateful for you. I know Kia is so grateful for you. We continue to send love to her every single week as she's navigating, you know, this portion of grief, which is, I feel like, you know, as we get to this time in life, it starts happening more and more frequently.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

But we're sending her lots of love and we're holding her. And I know you all are holding her. And we're very grateful, Dr. Wendy, for you coming and, you know, helping us out here at the kitchen table. How you doing, girl?

[A]

I'm good, girl.

[B]

I'm good.

[A]

I cannot, cannot complain. The Lord is good. He'd be looking down at me like, you complaining for why? And I'll be like, you right. You know what I mean? You right. That's my bad. I'll be like, I mean, how is it gonna work out? He's like, had to work out last time. I'm like, it did. He be like, okay, then stop act right. I'm like, you right. You right.

[B]

You're such a Possibility model. Cause I be over here like, what the fuck is the problem? And I have to also be reconfigured. But I think mine takes a little longer than yours takes.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. No, I mean, I have whole conversations with myself and the Lord. I'll be like, okay, I know that. I know it'll be fine. And he's like, still, then what you worried about? And I'm like, yeah, yes. You know, so that's what we are. That's okay. Let me send some happy and grateful.

[B]

Yes, amen. Amen.

[A]

As.

[B]

And everything in between. Dr. Wendy has been here multiple times as a. As a guest. Guest. So we've gotten a. A lot of professional advice from you. And we're going to continue because we've got episodes planned in the near future here. But today we just. We just chatting with Wendy. We're just chatting with Wendy today. Although I am going to take advantage and ask a couple of things. But before we do that, that's okay.

[A]

I'm here for the love. I'm here for the education.

[B]

No, I'm. And I'm here for your education. And I actually want you to start off by educating the folks because recently you dropped a line of products that let me tell you, there's a bomb in Gilead. And. And also in my cooch. And you know, I have inspected myself with your mirror. Okay, I got gas, gadgets and gizmos a plenty. I got who's it's and what's its galore. And I saw all of them. So.

[A]

And what's it. So please should be a doctor forget a Dr. Seuss. Okay, so who's it then? The. What's this? I love it. No, I'm excited. Yes. I mean, you right. I did. I got that. I got that line. I have been waiting to use that song the Balm in Gilead for a real. Because there is a bomb.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

No, really, There is a bomb. You know what? It is too. So yes, I'm excited for that and definitely, definitely glad that you have. You have experienced this kind of love. I was in the office yesterday and somebody was like a friend, actually a coworker was like, I got this thing down here and I felt it, but I haven't seen it. And I'm like, girl, you ain't got a mirror. Here, take this mirror. This is yours.

[B]

Now, please tell people how many ways.

[A]

Keep an eye on things.

[B]

How many ways can they look?

[A]

Because you got to look. You know what? If you have not seen your undercarriage lately, I challenge you to do something. And I feel as though in the age of Internet and clouds and all kinds of shenanigans, I don't think that the phone is the way to do it. Call me crazy. I don't think that we should be looking and taking pictures.

[B]

Absolutely not.

[A]

Of certain spaces with our phone. I think we should just line a sight. Line of sight. We can get a little mirror action, a little light on that thing.

[B]

You just sparked an intrusive thought for me. I'm just curious. Has anybody put a filter on their coochie pictures? And what does that look like? I'm sorry.

[A]

You know what? So if I could give the designers an idea, the filter would have sparkles and glitter.

[B]

A vagazzle.

[A]

It would get rid of the grave.

[B]

A vagazzle of sorts.

[A]

It would get rid of the grave, and it would be a vagazzle. I could. I would definitely help to design said filter. Oh, man.

[B]

And only for sharing.

[A]

Pig.

[B]

I don't think I've seen great pubic hair.

[A]

Oh, well, you will look forward to the future, sis, because it's coming for us.

[B]

Not far off.

[A]

It's coming for us.

[B]

Oh, you're right. All right, so talk to the people about your products, because that. Talk to them. Tell them. Tell them what you offer, and tell them what you got. And then I'm going to give my testimony.

[A]

I'll be brief, because I don't want my people to think this is a commercial. I love y', all, and I appreciate y' all for letting me be on here. But I'm gonna tell you this. If you have not created a system for keeping your under parts healthy and safe, I challenge you to do so. And I will say that that system does not have to include fragrance. It does not have to include menthol or anything spicy or cooling. It should be something that keeps you. Cause we don't need spice down there. If you want spicy food, go ahead. You don't need to be spicy in the. In the vulva area.

[B]

No, I'm good on that.

[A]

And so I have created a bar soap that was chemically formed or not chemically. It was scientifically formulated with a chemist, clinically tested, as well as a balm that you can use all over your body. But you can know that it's safe for use for comfort and soothing in that area and the mirror. And then, of course, I have the underwear line and stuff. But really, because I'm a gynecologist, I found a hole. A space where we do not found a hole. Wow. In There. But I found a space that we don't take care of. We don't take care of what we should. So I'm trying to fill that hole. Let's lean into it. I'm feeling that hole.

[B]

I love it. You're a multifaceted queen. You know what I'm saying? We have learned in a matter of nine minutes that you love the Lord. You can make an amazing pun. I love it. You are just. You're so diverse. You're so diverse.

[A]

But.

[B]

And no, this is not a commercial. But I thought this would be a great opportunity. This is a brand new business that you're getting off the ground. Yes, it's a new venture from what you've been doing, but it's. That's brand new, like this merchandise. And you add science into that. That's a lot of really hard work, Dr. Wendy. So you deserve for us to talk about this. It's black history month, so we're gonna shout out a black business that we all need to support. And I am here to tell you all.

[A]

Oh, thank you, sis.

[B]

Me and my daughter have exclusively used honey pot, you know, all this time because it felt like the safest. The safest option. Right? And then I did, but I would supplement with the dove sensitive after you told me that was fine. When we would run out of the honey pot. And then, you know, oftentimes with growth, people sell things. Things change. And so it's really comforting to know that at this juncture in her life, in this juncture in my life, as we're both transitioning into new spaces, that we have safe products out there that I know are personally made with integrity. So the. The bomb has been wonderful. The bomb's been wonderful in more ways than one. I'll leave it there. I love that.

[A]

I love the soap.

[B]

I'm literally. I had to get color coded soap dishes so that she has her everybody so. And I have my everybody soap. And we've got our intimate, so. And it also lasts very well. And then I told you all about the mirror. I have not given her a mirror. But your girl's been tooting it over, spreading it wide like 9:15. I have been inspecting every part of myself. Do you have a recommendation on how to use the mirror? Do you, like, is there a best position or a best. Like, what would you recommend?

[A]

I mean, the good thing about the mirror is you don't need to be contorting. You don't need to be in your favorite yoga position. You literally just have to unfold that thing. And get your angles together, you know, that's all you gotta do. The mirror does the work. The mirror does the work. And so I used it obviously to look.

[B]

It's like five ways.

[A]

Y' all correct. And it's got a light and it's got a magnifier so you can really see things. And so I've used it, you know, in the bed. I've used it in the bathroom. But I've used it, like the other day, the back of my. The outside of my foot was messing with me. Like it had some dead skin. And I couldn't really see it because how you gonna get close to the outside of your foot? Open that thing up? And I'm like, oh, that's just one piece of dead skin. I can see because you can see now because you can move it all over the place. So I love that. And I agree with you on that last thing of the. Of the bar. I was a dove sensitive bar user for the longest, in fact, and I did have my stint with honey pot and there's no shade. I have very sensitive skin. It did not work for me because my skin was not even their sensitive washes was not loving it. So I could deal with the bar, the dub bar. But your girl is getting into perimenopause and the way these sweat glands work these days. Yeah, that bar wasn't hanging. It wasn't holding your girl. So this though, but this.

[B]

No, no.

[A]

Like, I can be in situations like this. I can be presenting at work, I can be running to catch a baby, and I won't be funky, you know, And I appreciate that because that's what we worry about is like, are you only funky when you're done with whatever you did? You know what I mean?

[B]

Exactly. No. And I. And yet things are changing chemically, you know what I'm saying? Day to day. The bar is so. It's soothing, it smells clean, it's not overpowering. It doesn't smell scented. You know what I'm saying? It smells naturally scented.

[A]

Smell.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

But it's not.

[B]

No fragrance. Exactly. The elements of what's in it and what it says is in it is all that you're getting the essence of. And so, and, And I have not been irritated. I have been calm. You know, we were talking earlier about how your. Your. Your bits don't need to be spicy, but sometimes you eat things that have your back bit spicy. And it's also great there as well as the bottle.

[A]

So I'm telling you.

[B]

So I'm just Giving y' all some multipurpose usage.

[A]

I want to say. I want to say on the ad, my, like, she put her foot in this product. I think only black people would understand that, but she put her foot in this product. Like, I'm like, you are a genius.

[B]

She did.

[A]

Like, she did. She did. And then we tested it to make sure that it didn't cause problems. It's top tier. Top tier. And she's a tough, so I love that, too.

[B]

The bomb and the soaps, she did them all.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Look, Black woman owned business. Black scientists, black women, doctors. That's all we can really ask for, especially with the way that we've been used scientifically throughout the years. So, Dr. Wendy, we're really grateful for you being. Being intentional in that way and creating a product that we actually need. And I look forward to seeing the growth and all of the things that come from this. This is such an offering to the community. Thank you.

[A]

Thank you.

[B]

So grateful for that. Let's pay a couple bills. Make sure you all check out the get and Grow on Patreon, where you get the video version of this podcast. You get to see Dr. Wendy's face in its entirety, as well as my winter white. You can also check us out on YouTube, Instagram, Facebook. Make sure you check out the getting grown merch. We got crew necks and. And beanies, and they're all made from quality. This was also effort of intention. We put a lot into that. Our producer put a lot into it. So make sure you check out the get and Grow merch. And with that being said, I think we should just head on over to the kitchen table and start off celebrating Black History Month.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

Amazon presents Jeff vs. Taco Truck Salsa. Whether it's verde roja or the orange one, for Jeff, trying any salsa is like playing Russian root roulette with a flamethrower. Luckily, Jeff saved with Amazon and stocked up on antacids, ginger tea, and milk.

[A]

Habanero.

[B]

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[A]

Yes, that's right.

[B]

So the first thing I want to ask you is how, how was black history discussed in your house? Like was it something I asked? I asked Dr. Gina this too because she's from D.C. and you know, she came from a very black family. Pro black family, went to HBCUs you're from Chicago, which I personally believe to be one of the blackest cities in the country.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

And so how was black history? How was it in your house? How was it with you growing up?

[A]

Yeah, I mean, so I am also the daughter of the great migration from Mississippi to Chicago. And my. So my mama was from Mississippi. My dad is from West Virginia. And so they. And my dad was born in the 30s, so he passed away a couple of years ago. But he was, you know, he was really in the crux of it. Like, he tells stories. In fact, right before he passed, the Lord put it on my heart to record him telling some of his stories. And he's told some stories, man, about some of the things, some of the atrocities, honestly, that he was exposed to as a kid. What's crazy or what's interesting about that? There was a point in his childhood where he was hitchhiking to see his mother, who was in the hospital in West Virginia, and a white man picked him up. And this white man told him that he should. If he ever left West Virginia, he should go to Chicago. My dad fast forward ended up being coming to Chicago in the 70s, bringing the Popeyes franchise from New Orleans to Chicago. That was my daddy. So fast food, sorry, but also, like, just entrepreneurship.

[B]

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Hold up. Hold, hold on, hold on. Run that back and say it again.

[A]

So my daddy.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

The late greats, William Carlton Goodall, brought the Popeye's franchise from New Orleans to Chicago and was the first black man to own a chain of Popeyes. Went on to do other things as well. But here in Chicago, the point of me bringing that story up is that I asked him when he told me this story, because I knew he brought Popeyes here, but I didn't know that this white man had told him to come to Chicago. And I said, daddy, how do you get in the car with all the stuff that you knew was going on? The lynchings, the mobs, all of these things? How did you get in the car with this man? And he told me that he could just see and feel in his countenance and his person that he was a good person, that he was not there to harm him, that he actually was a good human. And to me, in 2026, that sticks with me because I feel like even as a child of the history that we have been exposed to, that we have been victims of both in society, in medicine, all of this, there are still good people. There are still good people. And so I have to remember that otherwise it's gonna just consume me. Right. So I feel like black history was taught.

[B]

I have to remind myself of that.

[A]

You gotta remind yourself. You got to, because it was taught and it's bad and it's awful, but there are still some good people. And it's like that's what gives you.

[B]

Some hope, you know, that's also what we need. Right. As we see everything that's happening. You, you're in Chicago.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So you experienced this several months ago, actually, when we were together. I think it happened right after where the National Guard came into Chicago and ICE came into Chicago and was wreaking havoc all over the place. And now we see what's going on in Minnesota and how they're getting even more reckless, shooting people in the head.

[A]

Correct.

[B]

They're definitely here in New York. Like, it's, it's not as heavy as what's happening in Minnesota, but it's a day to day basis. Like, you know, we're passing the message along to communities. Oh, they're in Sunset park today. Oh, they uptown today. So it's, it's, it's. This is important. Like, we do have to remind ourselves that we are a community, but we do need the community at large. And it is hard because white people, white people be bugging out. You know what I mean? It's hard. But it is a reminder that we need, because we do this has to extend out in order for us to, to beat the larger forces of white supremacy and what they're doing. Because clearly this is headed in a really nasty direction. So.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, it is. Yeah. But no, as black people in this society, it's a joy and I'm grateful and I'm excited that we get to celebrate each other, you know, and if we do, we need our allies too, you know, that's it.

[B]

Yes, absolutely. Absolutely. I now want to throw this whole show out. I'm like, what else did your dad tell you? I'm just so fascinated. I think that's such a beautiful fact. And what a lineage to come from. What a beautiful ancestor to have. Your father brought entrepreneurship to your family, which so many of our relatives had to do. Especially when you think about the 30s and the depression hitting and how, you know, we were the first people to lose jobs and to lose work and have to, to figure out how to pivot. So is there anything else that your father has shared with you that really stood out to you?

[A]

So much? So much. But I think that the thing right now that feels so relevant even in my profession Honestly, you know, as a gynecologist, it's like the society at large, I think, benefits from people being in boxes, from people staying in their lane, from people only doing what they think they're supposed to or should or can do. And I think that people who really like Excel or even are happy sometimes break out of that. You know, sometimes do the thing that they're either afraid to do or is uncomfortable. And it's always scary, too. That's the other thing. It's always scary. None of it is comfortable when you're doing something that's outside of your box. Right. But that's okay. Know that. Know that that's how that's gonna feel. But that was my dad. Like, he was. He wasn't afraid to cautiously try something new. I say cautiously because as black people, you got to be cautious all the time. Right. You can't be out here.

[B]

You won't.

[A]

You know, you got to be careful all the time.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

But you also don't need to be.

[B]

Especially in that time.

[A]

Correct. But you also don't need to be limited by the fact that you are, oh, you just a black man from West Virginia. You a child of a coal miner. Like, there's no reason for you to come up in here and then be doing the things that you did. Now, one thing that my dad did do is. And I actually put some of these stories on my YouTube channel because it's just so cool. He said when he first had the franchises and he over here. Making bank. Right? Making bank in Chicago, they named the company Peter Carlton. Peter after his business partner's middle name and Carlton after his middle name. And they touted it as a white company. So people would call like, can I speak to Mr. Peter Carlson? And he'd be like, he's out on business. I'll let him know what you need, and I'll let him know when he gets back. Because he didn't want them to know that these two black men were in charge of this company. And when they found out, he said that there was a point where under. Mayor. Mayor. What's his name? Shoot. I'm forgetting. This is, back in the day, one of the first black mayors in Chicago. Was it George Washington? It wasn't George Washington. It was one of these mayors, though. I forget.

[B]

Let me see.

[A]

Anyway, yeah, he was a black mayor. Yeah, he's a black mayor. He passed away in the early 90s. But he was, like, one of the first places before Daily. This is Pre. Daily.

[B]

Harold Washington.

[A]

Washington. I'm like, not George, he was the president. Harold Washington. Thank you. But Harold Washington under him.

[B]

Wait, is that who Harold's was. Was named for?

[A]

No, no, no, no.

[B]

I'm going to say no, we have a delay. I'm sorry. It's funny. Okay. So sorry.

[A]

Being named after chicken. No, I'm not gonna do it. I'm not gonna do it. Even if it's true. We not gonna do it. Not this.

[B]

You're right. No, you're right. I didn't do that.

[A]

Math.

[B]

I didn't do that.

[A]

We ain't gonna stand for that unless you show me the proof. It ain't it. That's not it. But he said that they came to his office. They came to his office, though, and they said, wait, you guys run this? You niggas is running this? He told me the story. These people come in here like you are the ones running this company, because they didn't know because they held it and kept it quiet for so long. So, you know, it's. It's. It's the. It's the cryptic. But the pursuance of something greater even when they don't want that for us. You know what I mean? It's interesting. It's real interesting.

[B]

And the fact that you have to hide behind whiteness in order to get some level of success, they. They've had to do that from early on. Even in the practices of African spirituality, they had to put it behind Catholicism for it to be accepted and for it not to be, you know, it's already demonized. And so for. For them to be able to practice, they had to put it behind Catholicism. So that's just. What a lineage. What a lineage. I'm about to do more research on your daddy. I'm so excited.

[A]

Yeah, it was cool. It's cool. When I think that, I'm like, wow, that's pretty cool.

[B]

You have children. You are a mother.

[A]

I up.

[B]

And your husband is also a doctor, correct?

[A]

Correct.

[B]

So outside of just the examples of that you all are setting for your children, and obviously coming from such a strong lineage, how do you educate your children on black history? What kind of things do you all have going on in your household to educate them on your history and the world in general?

[A]

You know, we talk about black history every day. Quite honestly, when I say every day, it's not like I have a course or anything, but we bring up stuff. We talk about things. Oh, you didn't know. Let me talk. Let me tell you about this person. Let's. Boo boo. Let's talk about it. We are very open about our role in this society historically and also the, again, the box that the society tries to put us in. Because my goal for my kids is to. My husband's goal too, is for them to do what they love and to not be limited by what somebody else thinks they can do or cannot do. So, you know, they've been exposed constantly. And even sometimes it's bad though. Like, my daughter will be like, such and such happened at school. And my son's gonna be like, was she black or white? I'll be like, why? You always asked that first? That's my fault, Just my fault. I'd be like, just tell the story first. They'll be like, was she black? Like, uh huh. You know?

[B]

No, we need contact. No, because your son is like me. I need the whole picture we do in context. I need to know about the characters and the story. It's very relevant. It's very relevant.

[A]

Correct. Especially because it'll often be something where you're like, should I be upset with this or not? You know what I mean? Like, what is the backdrop? So, yeah, but they're very aware.

[B]

They're also, yeah, we need to know.

[A]

Okay, we need to know. And then they're also like, we try to, we try to navigate. Like the other day my daughter said something and. And it was a little too grammatically incorrect just a little bit. And I said, you know what, we have our colloquialisms and we speak how we speak at the frib. And I get that. I said, but when you out in these streets, I need you to say this properly. I said, because people will put you in a box. And she's only 10. But I said, they will put you in a category of your. What you know and what you're capable of depending on how you say certain things. So just understand that there's almost two ways to exist. And then my sons are like, that's code switching. I'm like, that is code switching. It's exactly what that is. And you decide when and where you want to use it. I'm not gonna tell you when and where to do it, but you need to know what it is. And you need to know what the, the ramifications are of where you are and how you present yourself.

[B]

Absolutely, absolutely. And I always tell Noah too, be clear in how you express yourself because your voice is also extremely important in this, in this ecosystem of humans. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, so don't mumble, don't stand back, don't don't lower your voice. I want you to, like, put it out there. Especially as a baby, she had a surgery on her throat. So I'm like, no, girl, use that throat. Like, you walk through all of this shit. Use that. So I love. I love that your son understands what code switching is, and he's able to use that in. In proper context.

[A]

Yep, yep.

[B]

That is an example of what you all are doing at home, though. That's an example. So black love. Black love. You have been. You and your husband have been together for quite some time, have you not?

[A]

Quite some time. We actually. Coming up on 20 years married this summer. That's crazy.

[B]

Whoa.

[A]

Who does that? Whoa, whoa. Congratulations.

[B]

That's nuts. It's like, funny thing, we be looking.

[A]

At each other, like, for real.

[B]

And how long have you all been together?

[A]

So funny story we tell. I'll be a story. I'm a storyteller. We got. We met in med school, so this was in 2003. We were cool friends. Like, friends to the point where we would talk to each other about even other dates we would be on. I wasn't about to date nobody in this med school. I'm here for this degree. Okay? I ain't here for the shenanigans. Here for the degree, you know?

[B]

And so you're like, that's not what I came here.

[A]

That's not how I'm here. And I'm not gonna sit here in class looking at you, you looking at me. And we distracted. That ain't gonna be it. That's not what we're doing. So I would still have my little fun. But, you know, we were just all friends. There was only about 10 of us in the Ms. School at Northwestern. Fast forward to between second and third year, we at my house having a house party, as black people do. And he came into the kitchen, and he was like. He was like, you. You know, one of us at one point was like, you should ask me out. Well, you should ask me out. We should go out. I don't remember who said it first. He'll tell the story one way, I'll tell the story the other way. We got started dating, we were engaged. Six months later, we were married. Six months later, we were married. Between our third and fourth year of med school. We're not dating for the first two years. Wasn't even on each other's radar. Literally between that and a year, we were married. So we got married in 2006, and we've been together since I was 24 years old. That's crazy.

[B]

You were 24.

[A]

24. We both turned 20. He turned 25 on our honeymoon. I turned 25 two weeks later.

[B]

Oh, you all are right by each other too.

[A]

That's insane. What?

[B]

That's insane. So okay with that being said.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What Crazy. You know, we don't do a lot of like, I don't, I'm not, I'm not really big into marriage advice. Right. I don't know, I just feel like I, I get irritated and then people paint these false narratives and pictures on social media and then the whole Internet is really upset about a light skinned couple that I never knew existed. But, you know, God bless them. But I say all this to say, I say all that to say, what are some practices in this 20 years that you found particularly helpful in navigating and keeping a healthy dynamic?

[A]

Well, unlike that particular light skinned couple, we don't be on the Internet.

[B]

I don't even know what your husband look like. Okay.

[A]

We don't look. And you could do the deep dive, but you ain't gonna find us on there often. Not together. Because that's not what we do. You know what I mean? That's not what we do. And that's okay. That's not shame to people who do that. If that's what you work for you.

[B]

No.

[A]

And that's really the advice.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Let what works for you work for you. You know, Let what works for you work for you. The Internet is not the prototype. Let what works for you work for you.

[B]

It's not. And I, I, I, because I happen.

[A]

To still like my husband. I love him and like him. And that's. Yeah, I'm good, I'm good on the, on the should be and the could be. And it should look like this. And the white should and the husband should. I'm good on the shoulds. I'm good on the shoulds. Y' all keep those. We got this.

[B]

Was this like what you learned over time or was this something that was shared with you from an elder? What would, like, what do you think? Like the best piece of advice that was ever given to you? Give it to me.

[A]

So first of all, therapy. I love Jesus and therapy. That's the first thing. Because therapy will show you yourself in a way that you don't. You cannot see easily, you know, to me, without therapy, that's like walking around the world with no mirror. You've never seen a mirror. You don't know what you look like. You can feel your face, but you don't know what you look like.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

You do not know what you look like unless you see the mirror.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And I think that therapy helps to give you that perspective. So that I think is huge. I actually said this the other day that I am not my husband's first wife. And somebody was like, what? You're not your husband's first wife? I'm like, no, I am not the same person he married 20 years ago.

[B]

Absolutely. Absolutely.

[A]

And that is probably why we're together still. And he's not the same person I married. We love each other. We've always liked each other.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

But our ability to continue to match has to change as we change, and we have to be able to meet each other on a level that is a shared motion. Marriage, to me, is a journey that is not stagnant. It's never stagnant. So if you can't kind of keep pace with that person, then you're gonna fall apart, you know, and nobody, no elder taught me that. In fact, my parents, before my dad passed, were married 52 years. But I will venture to say that their marriage was not super healthy in the way that they communicated with each other in the microaggressions, even toward each other. The, you know, some of those kind of backhanded comments. That's not the way my husband and I live. And my kids have called it out. They actually said the other day, my oldest son was like, you know, such and such. Because there's a couple families that the parents coach certain teams and stuff, and they're like, such and such. They always kind of throwing these little jabs at each other, like, you and dad don't do that. And I'm like, I appreciate that you noticed that we don't do that. Like, if I've got something to say, I'm gonna say it. If he has something to say, he's gonna say it. And we can. We can be able to go forward from there.

[B]

I love it.

[A]

And not be, like, stuck and offended and can't, you know, keep moving.

[B]

And how healthy of an environment is that for, again, for your child to recognize when an environment doesn't feel as safe or as healthy or as full as what they're experiencing at home. That's just. That's just a beautiful example of how. Of the work that you all are doing. I feel the same way. Like, my parents are still together 40, a little over 40 years now, actually, and they love each other down. But they also have, you know, they got married very young. It was at a particular time where information and education was not as accessible. They were constantly in survival mode, so they didn't get the opportunity to. To develop the healthiest dynamic, you know what I'm saying? Which then ends up trickling down. So it's our job to take stock of that and, like, figure out how to change that narrative. So I love that that is the example that you're setting for your children. And it's. It. It's. It exemplifies itself through how they talk and how they communicate and the things that they call out. How beautiful, right? How beautiful, right? Okay.

[A]

Yeah. God is good, though. I ain't going to take credit for that. I'm grateful. I really am.

[B]

Yeah. No, listen, absolutely. We all. We have to pull from a different source sometimes. But. But also, that's. That's both of y'. All. That's y'. All. That's God. That's the three fold cord. That's the three. That's the threefold cord.

[A]

We've all been there.

[B]

You hold on to a coupon, hoping to cash it in at the store, but then you forget about it and suddenly you've got a mountain of useless expired coupons. Do you think this one's still good? Free milk. Oh, mate, that expired in 1993. Dang it. Fortunately, there are better ways to save money. Like by switching to Geico. You could save about 900 on car insurance without ever touching a coupon. Ooh, how about this one? Half off floppy disks now. You should try a bit of spring cleaning. It feels good to save big. It feels good to Geico.

[A]

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[B]

Ollie. All right, so, Dr. Wendy.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

We're gonna play top five, top five, top five, top 5, top 5. So in light of Black History Month. So I would like all of your answers to be Afro American centered, which I feel like they would be. Anyway, your top five favorite comedians. I heard you're a comedian, girl. I heard you love comedy, so I am curious to know who your top five black comedians are.

[A]

So I'm gonna put number one, probably number one, and number two right next to each other. Kev on stage and Tony Baker. I love me some Kev on stage and Tony Baker. And the two of them together are a beautiful dynamic. They do things in comedy.

[B]

They are.

[A]

They're great. And I know you could say, oh, what about Eddie Murphy? No, no, no, no, no. Ten toes down. Kev on stage and Tony Baker are definitely 1 and 2. And you could probably interchange which one is 1 and 2 on any given day. I do love me some Wanda Sykes. Wanda Sykes is that girl.

[B]

I do enjoy Wanda.

[A]

She's been that girl.

[B]

I enjoy Wanda.

[A]

She's been that girl.

[B]

And she makes fun of herself, too.

[A]

She is funny to me, which I appreciate her.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Yes. Oh, okay, now I gotta get to four and five. Who is my four? I mean, I do, like, it's. It's hard because now I'm thinking about all the people, you know what I mean? And, like, who's next? I'm gonna have to stick with top three, because I don't even wanna. I don't even want to put somebody ahead of somebody else. Yeah. I can't do it.

[B]

It'll have to be an order. Just.

[A]

It'll have to be ahead.

[B]

Surprise.

[A]

Okay. I like Tracy. Mort.

[B]

Have to be in order.

[A]

Tracy Morgan.

[B]

I love Tracy Morgan. Okay. Brooklyn's own. I love Tracy Morgan. Yes. Wait. Okay, so you want to hear a story? Somebody said they just saw Tracy Morgan outside. He was coming from. It was like an event or something. He was coming from an event or something. And it was a houseless man who probably also was an addict outside. And as soon as Tracy comes out the door, they recognize each other, but apparently they had beef.

[A]

What. What happened?

[B]

So I've heard nothing but love. I don't know. It must have been something from back in the day. But Tracy, Tracy, I've heard nothing but lovely things from everybody who's worked with him, has been around him. So I've heard. I have not heard negative things about him. This didn't even sound negative. This just sounded personal. So the. The. The houseless man shouts up. And he was like, I remember you, and it's still you. And I found that to be one of the most hilarious. I was like, you know what? I. I hope I don't want to get famous. I don't want to get famous. But if I were ever to get well known enough and I had beef with a that long, I. I pray that I have the same interaction. Yes.

[A]

Yes, I want you to.

[B]

Okay. So Tracy Morgan.

[A]

Tracy Morgan.

[B]

I want me to, too.

[A]

Right, right, right, right. I would say, actually Regina. Regina Hall. I know she doesn't really do a lot of stand up, but I actually think she is, like, so funny. Like, her. Between her facial expression and her delivery, like, she. She's that girl. Like, remember she and Kevin Hart used to do the things. I love her more than anybody else. Yeah. So I would say I'm not a.

[B]

Big Kevin Hart fan, but I liked them. I liked them together.

[A]

I like them together, and I like him, but nothing. Taking nothing away from him. But I. I feel like she is my favorite of that duo. And just in general, like, girls trip all of that. Like, she even over Tiffany Haddish. Like, I love me some Tiffany Haddish, but Regina hall is that girl to me.

[B]

Oh, Tiffany Haddish pissed me off. She been pissing me off the last few years, and I.

[A]

She been doing some stuff. She been on some other stuff.

[B]

She been on too much stuff. And, like, anyway, it. It feels like. It feels like unwellness is what it feels like.

[A]

And I'm just going to be okay.

[B]

I'm surprised I didn't hear of Bernie coming from a Chicago girl.

[A]

Okay, you're. You're right. You're right. He should have been in there. But you know what? The thing about Bernie Mac that I love is his staying power and his, like, longevity. Right. But would I go back and, like, watch the old Bernie Mac stand up? Probably not. You know, like, I guess I should. I should put him in there for. For the fact that he did what he did and existed. And he is. He still is one of the funniest comedians of all times. But I just. I don't know. When I think about somebody I would sit and watch, you know, for an hour right now.

[B]

You want to go tune into. Yeah, no, that's fair. I actually didn't. I actually didn't expect that. But I like that perspective. I don't know the last time I've watched a Bernie Mac stand up. And I love Bernie. Bernie is in my top top five. But I will tell you that I rewatched the Bernie Mac show. It was smart. It was good. It aged well.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And I feel like it put him in another. Another category, so. Okay. I do.

[A]

No, I agree with that, though.

[B]

Yeah. Okay. Okay. I like those choices of yours. They were unexpected. I like that. Okay, our next one, Top five favorite black movies.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So.

[A]

I love me some sister act, too. I'm gonna get. I'm gonna get hate for that But I'm gonna put it up there. I got to put it up there.

[B]

Get.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Get hate for it from whom.

[A]

Okay, okay, okay. Let me. Let me qualify that. Let me qualify that, because I know I told you that I love me some Tony Baker and Kev on stage. One of their ongoing beasts is that Sister Act 2 is one of the greatest movies or black movies. It's like a beef that they have where Kev is like, this is one of ours. This is ours. And Tony's like. I mean, if you really look at it, it's not, you know, so it's like this thing. So in my head, there's like a. About it. But I am Team Sister Act 2, so that's. I guess where same I reside, and.

[B]

I'm Team Sister Act 2 is a black movie.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Yeah, a classic. Okay, classic. So I just watched this one last night. Love and Basketball.

[B]

Oh, boo.

[A]

I can put that movie on in any given moment if I just spit. Like watching some old school.

[B]

So I hate that movie so much now.

[A]

That tell you why you hate it? I love that movie.

[B]

I don't know. Gives me pause. First of all, this is a person. This has nothing to do with anything. I have no basis, no foundation. I will always tell people if my. If my beef is legit or if it's not. It's not even a real beef. It's just kind of like, you know how somebody's movies just don't ever curl all the way over for you. That's how I feel about Brown Sugar loving basketball.

[A]

Do you feel the same way about the best man? Do you feel that about the best man?

[B]

No, I enjoy the best man.

[A]

Okay. Okay. All right, then we can still be both.

[B]

I enjoy the best man.

[A]

We was getting close, sis.

[B]

I even love in Love Jones.

[A]

When you said brown sugar, I was.

[B]

Like, wait, I don't love brown sugar. I will watch brown sugar. You want to know a fun fact you remember? You remember the. The Rapping Dalmatians?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Okay. The Hip Hop Dalmatians. It was the black boy, the white black boy, and the white boy. The black man was my realtor back in the day.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Stop it, Brooklyn.

[A]

They don't know Dunstan.

[B]

And he showed me an apartment many years ago.

[A]

They don't know Dunstan. They don't know.

[B]

Okay, okay, Yes. I don't love brown sugar. But okay, back to. You did it. You did it.

[A]

I said love and basketball. Okay, I'm gonna say. I'm gonna put the best man up There. I'm gonna say the best man. It's up there. Got to be okay.

[B]

Best man. Got to be okay.

[A]

Why do I always get stuck in 4 and 5? I'm a top three kind of girl.

[B]

Let's see.

[A]

4 and 5. 4 and 5 gonna get me black movies. Because I feel like, also, some of the classics I wouldn't watch on a regular because they're traumatizing. Like, I think about the Color Purple, but I don't want to put it up there because I don't feel like being hurt and sad. You know what I'm saying? So, like, also, I'm gonna keep it light, but that should be up there.

[B]

Yes. And I hear you. And Color Purple is. I think Color Purple is a. If we said top five classics, maybe. But also, that can go right up in that Sister Act 2 debate on whether or not it's a black movie or a white movie or a black movie or, excuse me, a black movie or black casted movie. Because I think Sister Act 2 is. I'm leaning in to which one.

[A]

To the. To the. Is it. Is it a black movie or. When you say black, cast it. Yeah. Give me your descriptions. I'm. I'm listening. I'm listening.

[B]

So I don't know. It's tricky, right? I don't know who made Sister Act 2, but I know when I think about Sister Act 2, I think about Lauryn Hill, obviously. Whoopi Goldberg, Sheryl Lee Rouse. You know what I'm saying? The little nigga from City High, whatever his name was. He also happened to. He wrote some great tracks on Confessions apparently, too. I didn't even know he was that talented. Shout out to Golden Era Stories. It's one of my favorite pages. Oh, happy day. Erica Campbell from Mary Marys and Sister Act 2. Like, I just don't. It's not a white movie to me. You know what I'm saying?

[A]

Correct.

[B]

Color Purple.

[A]

Purple not a black.

[B]

Because Steven Spielberg. So I'm not saying it's not. I personally would probably put Color Purple in a black category, but I think it could be thrown into the debate that you were talking about. Talking about earlier. Because I also. I also don't. Me, like, me and Oprah, we don't see eye to eye, but that's a whole nother conversation I won't get into. Into this episode. It's Black History Month. But. But. But it. Steven did direct that movie. So I don't. But I. Again, I would consider the Color Purple a black movie. I also think that is a Legitimate debate.

[A]

I can see it. Only because of what you said about the Steven Spielberg component. I feel where you're coming from. I just feel like it's almost like the one drop rule, right? Like, you may not be white, you may not be black, but you not white. You know what I mean? If Color Purple's not black, it's not white, though. You know what I mean? That's not.

[B]

And the same thing with the cast. You got Danny Glover, you got Whoopi Goldberg, you got. Who else is in that daily. You know, everybody. So.

[A]

So everybody.

[B]

Everybody. So. Okay, so Color Purple is an honorable mention in your top five. You still got to give me honorable mention.

[A]

It's honorable. Okay.

[B]

Oh, I like to.

[A]

I need to. You are. Because I now need to find a friend.

[B]

No, they know me. They know me well enough on this show.

[A]

I stick with. Okay, fine, I'll find a movie. And I.

[B]

Lean on me. Okay, Lean on me. I'll give you one.

[A]

You know what? I like Coach Carter. I know. Coach Carter was good. Coach Carter.

[B]

Coach Carter was good.

[A]

I'll watch Coach Carter today. I'll watch Coach Carter right now.

[B]

I also very much love if we're going to go in that realm. I think Akilah and the Bee is an underrated movie.

[A]

I agree. I agree. I agree. One is not talked about enough. I give you that. And with the Lawrence.

[B]

Hello.

[A]

Who also tried to.

[B]

He. He was interested in Kia for a period of time. Not interested. Not interested. But I. When I used to Barton, the. The crowd knows this story, but I'll share it with. With you. When I used to bartend Kia, when she would come to town, like, you know, for work or for school or whatever, she would come sit at the bar with me. And I worked at a jazz club. So Laurence Fishburn would come into the jazz club often and bring his own bottle of wine to my bar, which got on my last living nerves.

[A]

Hilarious.

[B]

So anyway, it was one day he called me over and he was like, jade, come. And so I went down there. He was like, who is your friend you keep speaking with? With? And I was like, that's. That's one of my best friends. That's Kia. She's a doctor. Or maybe at the time she was getting her PhD, but, you know, like, we always brag on her. So I got real obnoxious with it when he asked me about her. And then he asked for her to come down to the end of the bar and they chatted for a while.

[A]

Wow. They chatted. She could have been a Fishburn could have been a fish burn.

[B]

Kia was not trying to be.

[A]

No Fishburne. That's hilarious. And for the better. For the better. I actually. So now I'm in a dead heat because Old and young or old and new, I really like. Like, one of my favorites these days, as in the last maybe five years, which might have been when it came out, was King Richard.

[B]

Oh, I still haven't seen. I actually still have not watched King Richard.

[A]

It's a good movie, and it's a rewatch and a rewatch and a rewatch. It's a good, solid movie. But then if I think back to my youngster years, soul Food. Like, I used to watch Soul Food just on a random Tuesday, you know, and so. And I know that's random too, but I used to love that movie. So I don't know my number five.

[B]

No, I love Soul Food so much that when the TV show came out, I wasn't really excited about it because I felt like the movie was enough.

[A]

No, it wasn't the same.

[B]

Yeah, it wasn't correct.

[A]

It wasn't the same. It didn't have that kind of carryover because you just loved the original movie, the original cast, the original storyline too much to, like, now create an ongoing story. So I feel you on that. But, yeah, I think I would put those two in my fiveish category. Even though, yeah, you can see King Richard. It's good. I mean, and also, it's the history, right? It's. It's the. The Venus and Serena story, but low key. High key. Will Smith acted his ass off in that movie. Of course he did.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Great movie. He did okay. He really did.

[B]

Okay. I'm gonna go watch King Richard. That's actually. I. I actually did not put that on my radar, if I'm being honest. Honest. But I'm gonna go watch it now. I'm gonna report back to you. Okay. Those are good. Top five. Those are good. Top five. Again, unexpected. I love the direction you're coming from. All right. Because I was like, she gonna come in here with Women of Brewster plays, which I love. We can always have a discussion about it. But no. Okay.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Top five favorite black songs.

[A]

See, I'm get the. You know, I don't have the vocal today. Look like I might like it today.

[B]

You sound great. I don't have the vocals ever. And yet. Okay, so weeks SWV's week. We love Coco.

[A]

A week. SWB week. Yes, absolutely. The Fuji. Strumming my pen with his finger when I do karaoke. I pull up the chair.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

And I sit with the microphone. I cross my legs. I do. I'm gonna get into it. It ain't gonna sound like nothing, but I'm gonna believe that it did. Exactly. I was so ready on Grammy night. I was standing up to all of that, all of that glory. When they was out there with that.

[B]

They did the Roberta Flack tribute, correct?

[A]

They did. But then. But then Wyclef came on stage and was like, you know, now we go, whoa. The whole thing, everybody.

[B]

That's crazy. I need to go watch this.

[A]

We was out there.

[B]

We love Roberta.

[A]

That was good. That was birthday. We love Roberta. So they crossed those over. But I like how Fuji did it, obviously.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay, so those are probably two. Okay, let's see. What else do I love? I mean, of course, d', Angelo. Africa.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I know you wanted me to go Brown Sugar or, you know. You know.

[B]

No, I didn't actually. Yes, Africa. Yeah.

[A]

I can listen to that for 24 hours.

[B]

Give me a B side. I love a good B side for.

[A]

24 hours a day. I could put that on. On repeat.

[B]

And d' Angelo in general. In general, I just. He's such a special creature.

[A]

Yes. Let's see him. You know me, after I get to three now, I get to be like, who is less than?

[B]

I'm actually be excited about the Fours and the Fives.

[A]

Who is beyond the original trinity? Oh, there's so many. There's so much I really like. And I'm also kind of a gospel girl, so, you know, there's always going to be those that come into play, too. Like, what's my song that I.

[B]

That I love?

[A]

I'm trying to think of how it goes. It's the perimenopause kicking in. Okay, let's see what else in real time. Those few in real time. In action, on camera, you know, I mean. But I also love, like, a 112 era. Think about what's in my playlist right now. You know, Like, Cupid isn't even one of my favorites.

[B]

Honestly.

[A]

112.

[B]

My favorites from 112 are not. Yeah, their most popular hits, like, it's from the Part 3 album.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, no, totally. And I'm like. I'm like, which ones? Because I feel like some of those songs, like the 112s, the jagged edges, the cases, you know, you're like, I could just listen to these. These tracks. But, like, which is my favorite, you know, 20. 20, 25. I don't. I don't know. That I'm as in love with music as I once was. I still really like music, and I still, you know, have my favorite artists, like Chance the Rapper is probably one of my favorite artists.

[B]

Oh, wow.

[A]

Obviously, Beyonce is one of my favorite. Yeah, he's. This dude is. He's. He's out here. The new album, the Starlight album, I could play that front to back. I won't put that in my top five songs because if they hadn't been around long enough.

[B]

Right. But you enjoy it.

[A]

To me.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

I like what he's doing with artists, actually. He's. Yeah, he's releasing a lot of new artists, especially out of Chicago. And they're young men who. I really enjoy the way they use the Internet to promote their music. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

I love their.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Subtle yet overt trolling and discussion of how they. How they just. How they discuss politics and racism. Yeah. Should never be. Have a giggle behind it.

[A]

And overt. Yes.

[B]

And those are all his artists that I realize. And I like their rollout of how they're marketing themselves. So shout out to Chance for that. Okay. I. I didn't expect. See, you keep shocking me. Every category.

[A]

You know, maybe, though, I. I really. Again. And then I wanted to go to. To Cowboy Carter, but again, it's too soon. It's too new. I feel like I still got to go back in. In time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I'm having time with this. Four or five. Yeah. Yeah.

[B]

I love it. I want to know why four and five always boggle you.

[A]

They do. Because I think about my first three. It's always, like, the best. There is this one song, the gospel song that I was trying to think of. It's called Just Ask. And I could. I could play that right now. I'll give you peace when the storm is raging it's like, just ask. Just ask in my name. The song is like 25 minutes long, but it is.

[B]

They didn't waste no tape.

[A]

Stop. It's a great song.

[B]

Just Ask Gospel.

[A]

I'm going to go.

[B]

Let me put that in my notes. Let me put that.

[A]

Just Ask Gospel.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Or you know what? Actually, I think it's called In My Name. I'm finding it in my name.

[B]

In my name. Gospel song. Is this by.

[A]

It's a choir, but the main commute.

[B]

Oh, is this the Reverend Milton Brunson's Thompson's Community Singers?

[A]

It is. It sure is.

[B]

Got it. Okay.

[A]

Boom. That's it. You gonna. You want that? You're gonna get them out. You'll be like, see There. And then you're gonna have a shout party.

[B]

I am. I'm gonna be stumpy. Evenly, but I'll do it.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, you can feel that. You don't feel that?

[B]

All right, you got one more, girl.

[A]

She gonna make me get this one more, too. She gonna do it.

[B]

I am.

[A]

And that's okay because I don't never.

[B]

I don't ever get to challenge doctors. I'm excited about this. I got my ged. Like, let me live.

[A]

Shut up. I hate you. What you mean? That is so funny. I would say, oh, what about. And then I'm like, who's not canceled too? Because, you know, sometimes you'll be knowing to love the songs, and you can't love the song no more because the artist is trash.

[B]

Well, here's the thing. I think there's one artist who's a. Who's a. A hard stop. Absolutely not. We ain't throwing his music out there. Everybody else is tricky. It's tricky. You know what I mean?

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, I agree. I agree. You know, I don't know. Number five. Number five.

[B]

Okay, let me see.

[A]

She's terrible. You know who. Oh, oh, oh, oh. I know. I know this. This song by Belial Bilal called Home. I can listen to Home. I can listen to Home on repeat as well.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

I also love Bellal and I love Bilal because he's so extra, and I think I'm extra at heart, and so that just resonates with me. So Bilal's gonna be in there. He does the most. That's also.

[B]

When you go back and do Grammy.

[A]

Performance, he does the most. And he does it so well.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So, yes. You know, who gives me.

[B]

But, like, more. A little bit more on it. But they do give me Bilal vibes. Duran. Bernard.

[A]

Oh, yeah. He's up and coming. Extra. Yes.

[B]

And I love. I love. I love Duran. Let's be very clear. But there's something about them, energetically that reminds me of one another, even though Bilal is not as extroverted as Duran. So I'm loving how you're shocking me every. Every single category. All right, we're going to wrap this up with your five favorite black history black shows.

[A]

I love this one. Okay, so Living Color.

[B]

Do what you wanna do.

[A]

In Living Color. In Living Color.

[B]

I take you down.

[A]

Living Color. Okay. Living Color. In Living Color. I really love some old school, different worlds, you know, that's just gonna be. That's gonna be a classic. Yep. I'm going to say Martin. Martin.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Is up there. You remember the show My Wife and Kids with Damon Wayans.

[B]

I love My Wife and Kids. Let's be very clear.

[A]

Another one. I will put My Wife and Kids right up there with Bernie Metro. Like, as far as the smart.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And like the quality.

[B]

Absolutely. I enjoy. Like, we watch My Wife and Kids is one of our family shows.

[A]

Yeah, yeah, yeah, for sure. And then Living Single. We are living.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

You got to do it.

[B]

Yes. That's my number one.

[A]

Yeah, that's why I said that. Order. I'm like, actually, I would. I would put that one back up to the top there.

[B]

Yes. Oh, also my wife. I mean, Everybody Hates Chris.

[A]

Oh, Everybody Hates Chris is incredible. My kids have been binging Everybody Hates Chris.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

We watch that as a family, too.

[B]

Yes. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, we've been binging that one. That's very good.

[B]

This one. You didn't have no problems with four and five on that one.

[A]

Maybe I watched too much tv. I don't know.

[B]

I don't know how you have the time.

[A]

Maybe I watch too much tv. But these shows, I mean, I guess I should say watch death too much tv tv because this was more past tense because I don't watch as much now. But I think a lot of those shows were just so good back in the day. They were so good.

[B]

They were. And they like, they. You can tell by the way that they age, like living single. Single has aged. So obviously, you know, there's going to be a couple of jokes and a couple of things in there that's like, all right, but that, you know, of the times. But for the most part, those shows have aged incredibly well. Different world, all like, I really enjoy them.

[A]

Agree.

[B]

USAA knows dynamic duos can save the day. Like superheroes and sidekicks or auto and home insurance. Insurance. With usaa, you can bundle your auto and home and save up to 10%. Tap the banner to learn more and get a'@usaa.com bundle restrictions apply. Actually, I am going to throw more one more category because you're here and I think it will be important to this.

[A]

Let's do it.

[B]

This percentage of people who listen to this show, what would be your top five tips for a black woman or black person navigating the medical world?

[A]

So, and this, this answer requires me to be myself as a provider, but also myself as a black woman.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Because both have to be present. So I think the first thing is almost trusting your gut, you know, your intuition. Because I think that intuition even within your. Within the healthcare system matters. Being dismissed you hear people say, I was dismissed. I was telling this was wrong or something wrong. You knew something was wrong, but nobody listened to you. That means you maybe need to tell somebody else or you need to take the next step. Right. So not to, you know, and. And so. So that's one side is intuition. The other side is hopefully seeking out a provider that you do trust and have a relationship with. Because sometimes we feel something's not so great and actually is okay. And if the person can explain to you why things are okay based on something, not just, oh, you're fine, not based on anything, I would want you to be able to trust that too. I don't want us walking around scared, paranoid, always afraid. Right. So trusting your intuition doesn't mean that you always think something's wrong. It means you speak up when something's happening. But it also means that you have hopefully a relationship where you can understand rationale for whatever the provider is telling you.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

I think that we need to be partners with our providers. I posted something when the midwife passed away about the width. We need to know more about what happened to her in labor. And then some people were in the comments kind of going back and forth about black women in medicine or black women in pregnancy, and somebody was like, that's why I cursed all my providers out. And I'm like, okay, that maybe isn't the way to do it because that's also not going to necessarily make you safer. Right. So being in a relationship, a partnership with your provider, expecting, hopefully the best, but also keeping your ear to the ground and keeping that intuition high is important because again, we are human and not everybody's bad. Just like we talked about at the beginning. Right. Every. Some people really do have your best interest at heart, and we need to be able to be in relationship with those people as opposed to in a beneficial relationship, not in an antagonistic relationship. And if you're feeling like it's an antagonistic relationship, I think the solution is to try to God hoping that you have the ability to find a provider that you don't have that relationship with, as opposed to trying to exist when you guys are blood and kids. That, to me, is not the safest way to be. So. So intuition, talking to and understanding, listening to your provider, but hopefully in a way that they explain being in partnership with your provider, knowing as much as you can about your own body. And that doesn't mean TikTok. It doesn't mean TikTok, because TikTok will steer you just as wrong as some Crazy. Google places. So when you can do your research. Yes, do your research. I support research. But make sure your research sources are reputable ones, because if you're just going by blogs or by what somebody's telling you, that's not, that's not research. That's hearsay. And hearsay can get you in trouble.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

And then the final thing is, know that you're loved. You know, know that you're loved. Know that there are people who do care for you. Not only family, friends have those people who are advocating for you, as in supporting you and listening and taking notes and being. Being part in partnership with you. But know that you are loved because I think that sometimes we. We are in places and in circumstances and we feel helpless, like nobody cares. And. And we. We do. We do care. So I don't know if that helps anybody, but I would like to believe that there's, you know, something to be said for knowing that you matter and that you. You are.

[B]

Absolutely. And that will help you, you know, knowing, you know, when you feel safe in those situations. So as you're very intentional about the way that you look for your providers and how you feel when you're in those circumstances and dealing with your providers, then you know when you feel safe and when you don't feel safe. Our body tells us, our mind, our energy tells us. So I think that's actually very important. I'm gonna throw a. I'm gonna throw an extra one in there for me. What are your tips for a blooming black girl who is just starting puberty? Do they need to go to the OB GYN as soon as they start the menses? What do you recommend? Because so many of us forget because it was so long ago. So please, a refresher.

[A]

Yeah, I want all of my young humans with uteruses and vaginas to see a gynecologist, ideally by 18ish. So like maybe leaving high school, going, you know, off to whatever the next step is transitioning from a pediatrician earlier. If periods are throwing them off, stopping them from doing what they're supposed to be doing. If they're sexually active, please talk to your young people without judgment because more unsafe stuff happens when they don't want to tell you.

[B]

Absolutely.

[A]

If y' all could actually talk about it, you know, and be an open communication about what's happening. So if sexually active, they need to see a provider. If they're going off to college or just ending high school or just 18ish, I think they should see a provider. Know that they need to use soap and water. Okay. Soap and water.

[B]

And help them to know that they need to use soap and water.

[A]

These blands are active. These blands are waking up.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. They're funky.

[A]

Yeah. And menses adds a new element to the face.

[B]

It does. Yeah. I don't want to. I'd be like, don't be walking around smelling like pennies. Sorry.

[A]

Don't do it. Please do not. Please do not. Panties. Actual metal. And know that multiple period products exist. Right. So some people are cool with pads, tampons, Some people want a period panties, some people want a menstrual cup. All of that's reasonable. None of it makes a person fast or changes their, you know, anatomy in any way. It's just, you know, kind of knowing what some options are. And I don't know. I think that's it. That's my main advice.

[B]

No, that's. That's more than helpful. And thank you for actually correcting me because yes, for young black people who have periods, that's. That's how we want to do that. Okay, I. I'm trying to debate. I'm like, do we want to end this with. Do we want to go into our self care and petty peeve? I feel like this was so rich and what you provided. But do, I don't know, do you have something on your heart that has been getting on your nerves? Do you think we should do a petty peeve this week? Okay, all right, so we're gonna skip the self care. We're gonna head straight on into these petty peeves.

[A]

All the same to me, playing jeans spaghetti.

[B]

It's time for the petty peeves. And I'm really excited because again, Dr. Asai, we get to learn more about you as Wendy. And so I would love to know whether it is part of your work or not or on a personal level, you know, in our petty peeves section, we like to talk about what's gotten on our nerves this week. So what is on your nerves this week? What? What? What's your petty peeve?

[A]

So my petty peeve this week is the lack of clarity when it comes to how we should wash. And I know that seems so on brand with me, but it is important to me. Lack of clarity. So, you know, I think that there's a ongoing debate about whether or not we should be cleaning inside of the vagina and what we should be cleaning it with.

[B]

Uh huh.

[A]

And I feel like it's not. Maybe it's less petty as much as it's a peeve. That people that we're still thinking that it's something we should be cleaning inside, whether it's a douche or even just getting in there, scooping things around. I think we've talked about this before, you and I.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't think we should be putting anything in there. I don't think he's putting anything in there. We should have let it live on the inside. Now the outside is a different subject. Soap and water. Soap and water. And I love a good back.

[B]

And get all the corners too.

[A]

Get in there, get in there, get in there. Get all the corners and the crevices. A washcloth is fine. Your hand is fine. Especially there. Because sometimes though, even the washcloth or the net sponge or the loofah can be a little aggressive. So the hand is fine, but soap and water on the outside. And I just feel like we should not have to keep talking about this. So maybe that's me. Get me. You know, it's my own problem. I need to let it go.

[B]

Well, also, you look at vaginas for a living like that. So I would imagine that I would have more qualms around and irritants if I had more exposure to, you know, the countless vaginas that you've had exposure to. So that makes sense for somebody who looks at vaginas all day.

[A]

That's what my day to day is. So, yes, it's. It's. It's pertinent to me all in my mind. Right, you. Right.

[B]

And you can tell if somebody has not washed versus if something else is going on. Okay.

[A]

Yeah, I. But also it's. I. I don't even want to blame the person because sometimes I'm like, you might not know how to wash. You might not know what to wash with.

[B]

You might not have been taught. Yeah, no, you're right.

[A]

You might not have been taught. You might not realize that we got the same sweat glands under our armpits as we have in our groins. You might not know that. Most people maybe don't, but we do. We have the same sweat glands under our arms and in our groin and they be more or less active. And if that area is not cleaned, it's gonna be faulty.

[B]

Get you some everybody soap and some everybody balm. And you know what I'm saying? Wash your hands.

[A]

But even if you don't. But even if you don't, just make sure you are minding your business on the inside and washing carefully.

[B]

And again, the vagina is a self cleaning oven, correct? From the inside. Yes. So you don't.

[A]

But when's the last time you used your self cleaning oven feature? So people don't always know what that means.

[B]

I never use my. I never use it. I never use myself. Yeah, I don't even know if I.

[A]

Have a part of our body that. That 50 of us have with this function that no one ever uses. No wonder there's confusion.

[B]

Oh, you're right. We should stop saying that. Well, what else do you not have to wash? You're right. What do you not have to wash? That can be likened to. Or maybe we just say the vagina doesn't need to be cleaned inside.

[A]

Maybe we just.

[B]

Maybe we just.

[A]

Maybe we just keep it right there. You know what I mean? I think that's a patriarchy too, because who decided that self cleaning oven was how we needed to refer to the vagina?

[B]

I guarantee you it was a nigga. No, it was a nigga. It was a nigga. You know, remember back in the day, you all can go look it up for yourself. They got ads that promote women housewives of the back in the day of the days of your to use Lysol in their couch, you know what I'm saying? Because actual Lysol men decided that whatever the natural smell was coming was. Was not good. They're the ones who said, oh, that's a bad smell. So you all need to start using this. This chemical, actual Lysol.

[A]

Meanwhile, they were spreading DV everywhere. Who knew?

[B]

Have you ever. Never mind. I'm. That's gonna. That's too far.

[A]

No, no, no.

[B]

Actually, no. We're gonna talk about it. Wash your dirty dicks too. There is nothing worse. Y' all always want to talk about a fish or this or that. Let me tell you about a. The. The. The. The wretchedness of a stink ass, dirty cheesy dick. Okay, Yuck. So wash your dicks too.

[A]

That's my looking around like, what's wrong with you? Oh, you gave. You brought it to me. You brought.

[B]

It's you, my brother, cuz. You didn't pull that thing back and clean around your little lipstick. And now here we are, spreading infection to other people. Well, I think that's a beautiful note to end our episode on. Thank you so much, Dr. Whitney, for coming. It's been tired. Why Wash your dirty cheesy dicks. That's it. I'll see you next week. Bye. I'm so grateful for you. You came and you shared space with me. And I know Kia is also very grateful for everybody who's coming and spending time and giving her space. Tell the people everywhere that they can find you and find all of your products and and how to just tap into your social media expertise because you're so good with the way that you brand to people what you do. So please tell everybody where they can find you.

[A]

Oh, thank you. So my. My social handle, Dr. Every woman. Dr. Every woman on pretty much all things social. Instagram, TikTok, YouTube, Facebook. Although I don't be on Facebook as much as I could, but I probably should get back over there more. And then the product line is everybody brand, which is tagged in the Instagram, but it's everybody b o d I brand because it's for everybody for use everywhere. And hopefully y' all will be more comfortable in y' all draws if y' all get into it.

[B]

Yes. And which we cannot wait for that aspect as well. I want to thank Dr. Wendy. You all remember you can send all your email emails to hello Getting grown co. Make sure that you drink your water okay. Keep yourself very hydrated internally. Make sure that you are minding your business. That is a very important aspect of the world that we live in. And lastly, moisturize yourself. Your heels in between your toes, in between your fingers, in between your groin because your groin is just as funky as your armpits. And that will be the blackest crack if you dry or. What have I just said? Bye.

[A]

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