Bibliophiling While Black (Reprise)

Summary

Podcast Summary: Gettin' Grown – "Bibliophiling While Black (Reprise)"

Date: August 11, 2026
Hosts: Jade & Dr. Keia (Loud Speakers Network)

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Episode Overview

In celebration of National Book Lovers Day, Jade and Keia dedicate this episode to the joys and complexities of reading as Black women. They share their reading journeys, reflect on childhood favorites, explore the importance of Black representation in literature, and discuss the impact books have had on their personal growth. The episode is interwoven with stories of Black excellence, community shout-outs, advice on self-care, and the realities of navigating adulthood in challenging times.

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Major Discussion Points

1. Kitchen Table Talk: Honoring Whitney Houston, The Lox, and Black Athletes

• Tribute: The hosts open by honoring Whitney Houston’s birthday and reflect on her impact and their enduring grief.
  • "We’re gonna be grieving forever... Nippy deserved more." – Jade (02:16)
• Celebrating Local Legends: The Lox receive keys to Yonkers, with comedic commentary on the Versus event and COVID safety.
  • "There’s a certain level of trash talking that is inherent with this culture, this lifestyle, this time, this era of hip hop." – Kia (08:08)
• Black Excellence in Sports: Shout-outs to Kevin Durant, Simone Biles, Tamyra Mensah-Stock, Sydney McLaughlin, and Delilah Muhammad for their Olympic achievements, highlighting the prioritization of mental health and self-care by athletes.
  • "It’s proof positive that you can do what you need to prioritize yourself and your wellness and still be successful." – Kia (10:42)

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2. Community and Listener Shout-Out

[18:13]

• Ivy Wells writes in to highlight her mobile salad company, "I Eat Water", which promotes health and hydration—emphasizing the importance of “no beige plates.”
  • "We promote no beige plates so that you can properly moisturize your insides." – Ivy (Email read by Jade)
• The hosts underscore the need for innovation and celebration within the Black community.

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3. Kitchen Table Talk: Bibliophiling While Black

[23:34 – 68:59]

a. Love of Reading: Early Influences

• Childhood Reading Memories:
  • Jade and Keia reminisce about reading by nightlight, Berenstain Bears, Babysitter’s Club, Cam Jansen, Amelia Bedelia, and frequenting libraries during boring summers.
    • "Reading was always an escape for me... The words within the books, like literally painted pictures, movies that you can watch in your mind." – Kia (25:20)
• Family & Community Support:
  • Stories of church “Super Readers” club and family encouragement for nightly reading routines.
    • "Every night of her life, we do a story... now we’ll do chapter books and like read a chapter each night." – Jade (33:07)

b. Transition to Black Literature

• Adolescence & Beyond:
  • Shift to Terry McMillan, Eric Jerome Dickey, Sister Souljah, and books central to Black culture ("Coldest Winter Ever," "Fly Girl," "God Don’t Like Ugly").
    • "Obviously I got into like niglature... your Coldest Winter Ever, your Fly Girl." – Jade (34:50)
  • Keia got deep into Black autobiographies and classic authors: Zora Neale Hurston, Maya Angelou, James Baldwin, Langston Hughes, Richard Wright, Ralph Ellison.

c. Representation & Challenges in School

• Experiences with white teachers misunderstanding or undervaluing Black students’ engagement with literature.
  • "It was one of the first times when I realized there were some white people who thought that my loving books was an anomaly." – Kia (41:45)
• Both hosts share stories of being challenged or dismissed in school for passionate book reports on Black literature.

d. Book Recommendations & Notable Impact

• Books that Changed Them:

  • Jade: Opening to Spirit, Assata Shakur’s autobiography – “…the one book that always sat on my toilet and then in my backpack.” (47:27)
  • Keia: Zora Neale Hurston’s Folklore Memoirs and Other Writings, “The Color Purple,” Toni Morrison’s entire bibliography – “I have to study Toni Morrison, not just read her.” (48:12)
  • Both: Major love for James Baldwin and Alice Walker.

• Surprising Reads:

  • Jade was taken aback by how much she enjoyed I’m Down by Mishna Wolff, a white woman’s memoir about growing up in a Black neighborhood. (52:27)
  • Keia: Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin—unexpectedly impactful (“…the first time I had seen in print a white person actually acknowledge the inhumanity of Jim Crow South.”) (55:13)

e. Aspirations to Write

• Jade dreams of writing an honest book about pregnancy called Fuck the Glow.
• Keia envisions both nonfiction (on grief and transformation) and fiction, recalling a college short story about a little Black girl who travels through her journal.
  • “…there’s a lot of synergies in the different areas of my life... my scholarship, the work I’m doing around organizational change and the grief organizations go through...” – Kia (60:47)
• Both discuss plans for a Getting Grown book for tweens/teens: “The ABCs of Adulting” and giving Black girls more stories to imagine themselves in all kinds of futures.
  • "Black girls need more options... I want to be a chemist, an astronaut, a fighter pilot, Olympian, anything." – Kia (68:44)

f. Invitation to Audience

• Plans to reboot the Getting Grown book club and further community engagement.
  • "We’d love to hear some of your favorite book suggestions...to reboot the Getting Grown book club..." – Jade (68:54)

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4. Honesty Box: Advice for Young Academics

[70:42 – 84:39]

• Listener’s Dilemma: 24-year-old Jill Scott (alias), struggling for motivation in the third year of a pandemic-impacted PhD program.
• Kia’s Response:
  • Reassures that lack of motivation during a global crisis is normal; encourages flexibility and release from arbitrary timelines.
  • Stress on self-care: “There are times we have to slow down to speed up again…It doesn’t make you any less a bad bitch.” (79:52)
  • Lists practical steps: Set smaller goals, take breaks, seek support, and honor feelings and mental health.
  • Jade reinforces the value of rest and personal timelines.
  • “If Simone Biles can say, ‘I am not participating in this season of the Olympics,’ you can say ‘I ain’t got it right now.’” – Jade (82:36)

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5. Black Woman Self-Care

[84:40]

• Kia hosted her first overnight guest post-pandemic—reminding listeners of the healing, grounding power of in-person community.
• Jade reconnects with friends via Netflix watch parties, highlighting alternative ways to build and maintain community.

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6. Petty Peeves

[88:43]

• Jade: Rants about inconsiderate families at a Pixar-themed mini-golf, emphasizing the importance of personal space even in recreation.
• Kia: Updates saga of a broken mirror and poor customer service, highlighting the need for consumer advocacy and calling for future kitchen table conversations on resolving such issues.
• Both: Commentary on restaurant staff hygiene and pandemic awareness.
  • “We still got shit flying around in the air, and it’s just not the time.” – Jade (99:43)

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• "Reading is such a gift. It’s such a blessing. It’s such an opportunity for us to sort of escape the heaviness of reality." – Kia (64:17)
• "We like to read and we like to write, nigga. And we’ve been doing it as long as we can." – Jade (43:40)
• "Honor that. If you’re not okay, ain’t gonna be no productivity no way." – Kia (82:31)
• "Moisturize your mind. Moisturize your body… Read some books… just get off the Shade Room and go do something else." – Jade (101:33)
• [Plan for "Getting Grown" children’s/tweens book]
  • “The ABCs of Adulting… Things we wish we would have known when we were 18.” – Jade (67:02)

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Key Timestamps for Segments

• 00:47 - Whitney Houston tribute
• 03:28 - The Lox honored in Yonkers; Versus discussion
• 09:04 - Black athlete shout-outs (Durant, Biles, etc.)
• 18:13 - Listener shout-out: "I Eat Water"
• 23:34 - National Book Lovers Day and reading discussion begins
• 27:42 - Childhood favorite books
• 34:50 - Transition to Black literature (McMillan, Sister Souljah, etc.)
• 41:45 - Stories of representation, school challenges
• 45:56 - Most impactful books and ongoing reading habits
• 52:27 - Surprising favorite reads
• 60:47 - Writing aspirations and plans for Getting Grown books
• 70:42 - Honesty Box: Academic motivation/advice
• 84:40 - Black woman self-care (community, friendship, virtual watch parties)
• 88:43 - Petty peeves (Pixar Putt Putt, customer service woes)
• 101:33 - Closing self-care and life advice

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Closing Tone

The episode is deeply personal, warm, witty, and affirming, marked by both nostalgia and a sharp, contemporary voice. Jade and Kia’s honest, sisterly exchange models Black self-love, intellectual curiosity, and communal affirmation, all while offering practical wisdom for both readers and “grown folks in training.”

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Next Steps for Listeners

• Share your book recommendations and reading stories with the show.
• Watch for the Getting Grown Book Club reboot and interactive community events like watch parties.
• Support Black-owned businesses and celebrate Black women’s innovations in self-care and health.

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Summary Prepared by:
Gettin’ Grown Podcast Summarizer
For listeners, by listeners.

Transcript

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[Kia]

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[Jade]

From the moment I saw you I went out of my mind Though I never believed in love at first sight? But you got a magic boy that I just can't explain well, you got it? You got a way that you're making me feel I can feel I can anything for you, baby I'll be done for you, baby Lay all my cards out tonight Just call on me, baby I'll be there in a hurry. It's your move. So, baby, baby, decide whatever you want from me. Go ahead, sis, take it away?

[Kia]

You got it, you got it?

[Jade]

I'm giving you everything? I'm your baby tonight? I'm giving you ecstasy? You are my fantasy? I'm your baby tonight.

[Kia]

Very nice.

[Jade]

Thank you. Thank you. That was nice. Thank you.

[Kia]

You stayed in this appreciate. Sure. Yeah. Happy heavenly birthday to the one and only Elizabeth.

[Jade]

You better know.

[Kia]

Whitney Elizabeth Nippy Houston.

[Jade]

You better know.

[Kia]

Always celebrate. Honor the legacy, the legend. I'm still very much grieving, so I just, you know, we're.

[Jade]

We're gonna be grieving forever. Like, you know, Nippy Nippy deserved more.

[Kia]

She deserved more to believe that it's been so long. But, yes, we will always honor and respect the queen. Praise the Lord.

[Jade]

Yeah. Praise the Lord.

[Kia]

How are you present? I'm. I'm here and excited to be back again at the kitchen table.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

How are you?

[Jade]

Yes, I too, am present in here, and I'm happy we're here. We are. You know, we. It's always a good time to sit down with each other and you all and, you know, things seem to be just kind of like normalizing a smidge, so it's nice to. To get back into a little bit of routine. I'm grateful. I will not complain.

[Kia]

Gratitude is always the best attitude bars. Okay. You want to get on into it?

[Jade]

I think we got some trash to get into. Let's get into this trash.

[Kia]

Okay, let's do it.

[Jade]

A cleanup woman, Cha Cha. It's trash time, so. Oh, that was cute.

[Kia]

Come On Django.

[Jade]

Okay, that was cute. So I want to start out with some happy news. And, you know, this is a. This is a slight honoring to our sister Kia, because. Yeah, just a slight one. Just a slight one. You know, I know you're not from Yonkers, but you from next door.

[Kia]

Yes, indeed.

[Jade]

You from next door.

[Kia]

9, 1 4.

[Jade]

That's right.

[Kia]

West Chester, White Plains. That's.

[Jade]

That's right.

[Kia]

That's.

[Jade]

White Plains is where Key is from.

[Kia]

West.

[Jade]

She's from Westchester, though.

[Kia]

Period.

[Jade]

So in Yonkers.

[Kia]

Oh, yes.

[Jade]

D block. The locks. They have been honored with keys to the city.

[Kia]

Yes, they have. Right.

[Jade]

I'm just. I mean, just so much so.

[Kia]

And I mean, they have just represented the city, the county, and, you know, their accomplishments and accolades. The receipts are there to show improve the impact that they have had on the culture as evidenced by the massacre that happened down to the. Versus the other night. That's it.

[Jade]

And it was just a wonderful super spreader.

[Kia]

I mean. I mean, literally. COVID 19, the Delta Lambda, all Covid's line sisters, Lyon brothers and sisters were right there at the Garden. And you know, as Fat Joe said. God bless.

[Jade]

Yeah. Covid familiar versus the locks versus dipset.

[Kia]

Covid was in there somewhere. God bless. That's what Fat Joe said. It was in there somewhere. God bless. Okay.

[Jade]

That's what he said.

[Kia]

That's what he said.

[Jade]

When you trifle it as.

[Kia]

I couldn't be more. I was like, listen, we have to acknowledge the truth when we hear it.

[Jade]

Yeah, we do. I mean, listen, you know where. You know, what you decided to do?

[Kia]

Listen, he said Kobe was in there somewhere. God bless. So. So just to.

[Jade]

God bless.

[Kia]

It's always. He was like, no, he did it like a black auntie, like a black mother. Because he said it twice. He said the COVID 19 was in there somewhere. God bless. The COVID 19 in there somewhere. God bless. You know when your mama says something twice, she's not playing. I'm not playing with you. I am not playing with you. When you say it the second time and slow down the cadence, that is a hallmark that is. That is very black of blackness. You know what I'm saying? And so when Fat Joe hit us with the.

[Jade]

I was screaming, you know, I mean,

[Kia]

I was like, you know, well, listen. I mean, that's when I know the truth is being stated, okay? When you say it twice and you say it like that, the truth is being stated, okay? So we all have to listen to it because it makes us, what, free? Yes. So Jadakiss Love it. Styles P and Chic Luke, who is still fine after all of these years.

[Jade]

Let me tell you something.

[Kia]

I saw that Shik Huge received the keys to the city of Yonkers. So we want to acknowledge that accomplishment because, I mean, they still are there, okay?

[Jade]

They are still.

[Kia]

They are still there. As Jada said, you know, he's not in Miami and he don't live in Denver, okay? He still be, you know, rough ride, a D block, okay?

[Jade]

And that's how they be. He got 100 guns, 100 clips, okay? And on top of that, on top of that, these niggas are doing things for the neighborhood, period. Because they got, you know, they setting up parks. And let me tell you something, you know, you know, we love to see a black man working out outside.

[Kia]

I mean, that's the best on the light post.

[Jade]

Now, I know you a little. You're a little loose if you pulling up on the light post. That I know. But that doesn't mean that you don't look nice while you do it. Right, Right. You know, I. I can't leave. I can't bring you home because I don't know what's happening over here, but you are nice to look at as I pass by the street for the streets.

[Kia]

But listen, you off for the street. Appreciate you and your service from a distance.

[Jade]

I'm leaving you in the streets like la da de da dee la. But I'll watch you. And they are setting up state of the art, honey, state of the art fitness equipment in the park.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

For the community. And I love to see it promoting

[Kia]

healthy living, vegan lifestyles. You know, it's the. It's, you know, we just. We just love to see the growth, the progression. Everyone was at the versus looking youthful and moisturized. It was a good time.

[Jade]

There was no. No, no shots ring out.

[Kia]

No shots. And I mean, it was good, healthy New York street talking and banter. I understand that many of you were alarmed and thought that streets were going. I mean, shots were going to ring out. But you have to understand that there's a certain level of trash talking that is inherent with this. With this culture, this lifestyle, this time, this era of hip hop.

[Jade]

Now we shouldn't be kicking niggas in the chest. No, no, no, no, no, no.

[Kia]

But, you know, it was just a healthy dose of trash talking, you know, made for a wonderful experience. And so we speak.

[Jade]

You know, Cameron is king of.

[Kia]

Of shit talking and not saying nothing. Okay, Okay.

[Jade]

I mean, I keep the computers Putin. Okay.

[Kia]

All flash, no Substance. Okay. But we appreciate it. We appreciate it. You know, everybody played their parts and it was a good time. But congratulations to the locks on their keys to the city of Yonkers. That's great.

[Jade]

We love to see it. Love to see it. So, you know, black athletes right now, black athletes are really just doing what needs to be done. Kevin Durant and his shoulders, you know, they're quite large.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

He.

[Kia]

To PG County, Maryland.

[Jade]

Okay. Big of Maryland. Okay. From the Curry out the Denny's, he got. Got a gold medal at the Olympics in Tokyo for basketball. And he's ties now with Carmelo to be one of the NBA players, I think top NBA player, whatever, with gold medals from the NBA. I mean, from the. From the Olympics.

[Kia]

Highly decorated.

[Jade]

Thank you so much. Simone Biles.

[Kia]

Yes, she did. Yes, she did.

[Jade]

Is tied for one of. For the most decorated athlete.

[Kia]

Gymnast. Yes, gymnast. I think she's tied with. With Shannon Miller. And I think, you know, if you. I remember Shannon Miller sayday, I think she's from, like, Oklahoma or something. And this is a big deal for Simone to be out here. You know, even. Even, you know, I don't want to say despite, but, you know, given the fact that she prioritized herself and her safety, she still is out here being the goat. And we just want to acknowledge that. Know, I think it's an awesome example since, like, especially given, you know, on the heels of last week's conversation when we talked about sacrificing for yourself in the face of public scrutiny, you know, it's. It's proof positive that you can do what you need to prioritize yourself and your wellness and still be successful. So.

[Jade]

Absolutely, absolutely, very successful. So we want to shout her out. Tamyra Menza Stock, who won gold, she became the first black woman to win gold for Team USA and freestyle wrestling, which is super dope. Sydney McLaughlin, Delilah Muhammad. We're just. We have black athletes out here just doing it. And I. I think it's a beautiful, beautiful thing. Even if you ain't watching it, we want to shout them out because they are doing work and they've worked really hard. They've worked really hard. What else is going on?

[Kia]

Oh. Oh.

[Jade]

So Nick Cannon was on the Club de Saluno, and he was speaking about how he does not believe in the concept, the Eurocentric concept of creating a family with one person.

[Kia]

Okay?

[Jade]

He said it. He said it classifies a person as property, which is, you know, how the white man believes, and it's ownership over a person. He doesn't want ownership over a person. And therefore, this is why he goes to make babies from hither to thither.

[Kia]

Listen, okay, if y' all felt the need to listen to these hotep teachings down to the Breakfast Club table, I think that that is both your right and your business.

[Jade]

Yeah, but I personally, I just wanted

[Kia]

to see your face have chosen to be left out of it. And you know what I said on Twitter earlier today? Part of me sort of in my absent minded habit of just sort of clicking links and seeing oh things on the Internet and just clicking links. I clicked the link to watch a clip from the interview. Whole Google Chrome app shut, the computer completely died. And I said, you know what? The Holy Ghost is speaking and I just have to take this time to listen and be obedient in this moment. And I said, you know what, Lord, you are absolutely right. I don't have no business frying my nerves by listening to this mess.

[Jade]

Oh no, it makes me laugh. I, I sometimes I'll go through black Israelites Facebook pages and I celebrate. The memes are incredible.

[Kia]

If you. That's why I think it's great. You know, there are those people who, I think it's a gift if you were able to find the entertainment, you know, if you were entertained by this, this, this kind of programming and you find it funny and it makes you laugh, then I think that that is a wonderful thing. But I know me, I know that I am the person who is not going to laugh. I'm going to be agitated and bothered, annoyed.

[Jade]

Kill thyself queen.

[Kia]

And so I said, you know what, God, I'm not going to do this to my nerves today. And literally the whole Google Chrome said, nope. And I said, you know what, I'm not going to push the issue. I'm, I'm going to take this as the Lord moving in my life. And I said, oh yeah, no, you

[Jade]

don't see the signs.

[Kia]

I'm not, I'm not. You know, Elmo and Chris Brown said, see the signs, they are everywhere. Yeah, enter here, exit there. And I said, oh, I'm out. Period.

[Jade]

Yeah. Wow, they really let Chris Brown be on Sesame Street.

[Kia]

He, I mean, before he became a menace to society.

[Jade]

Oh, that's right. It was before he was a menace.

[Kia]

Absolutely. With his talented self.

[Jade]

Okay, he Right. Isn't it just disgusting?

[Kia]

Just a, just a talent. A talent.

[Jade]

You just be looking at him with the nasty face like, boy, you know, you, you know, you can move around now. Your voice has not grown up ever so good, but you're just so you're just so good. He's the nephew, remember?

[Kia]

I just wish that somebody. Denzel Washington, Will Smith, somebody would just call him and say, sit down. Like, please, like, sitting, though.

[Jade]

I feel like he's been sitting.

[Kia]

He has been seated. And I honestly feel like he's growing up a little bit because I feel like on. I heard on Instagram or somewhere recently, he was talking about how, like, he was disturbed by the fact that you don't really need to be talented to be successful. And, you know, he responded to Dababy's comments and was just like, listen, your job as an entertainer is get on the stage and do it.

[Jade]

Oh, yeah. It sounds like some lessons have been learned.

[Kia]

Yeah. I feel like he has, you know, there is some. Some maturing happening.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

And I don't want to speak too soon. I hope that he doesn't make me eat these words very soon with another.

[Jade]

You know, you don't have to approve. Applaud you. Can we, you know, we have all seen how this boy has just really, like you said, been a menace, just caused mayhem.

[Kia]

And we are all guilty of poor decisions. And I'm not judging him. I, too, at some points in my life, will probably be identified as a menace as well. But, you know, I'm just saying facts are facts. Facts are facts. And so we have to call things things.

[Jade]

Yes, yes, definitely. A demon, actually. My. For myself. So people have the right. They do have the right to grow. Like, we can hold people accountable, but on the same token, people are allowed to grow and they're allowed to change and they're allowed to say, yo, I fucked up and I fucked up bad, but I learned from it. And I. I don't. I think that gets lost sometimes in. And let's be clear, that's because a great mass of these niggas don't want to be held accountable. Right. Nobody is taking Jonathan's. Because I'm not calling that that anymore. No, nobody's. John, that's the baby. Nobody is taking his. His. His apologies because they're not sincere. You are apologizing because you doubled down in your. And now you're apologizing because you're losing money. But for somebody where this, you know, this happened some time ago, I think there are times when people are allowed to grow and to say, hey, I really was in a bad way.

[Kia]

Life is a journey.

[Jade]

I won't move like that anymore. And I really hope that's the place that he's in.

[Kia]

Same.

[Jade]

Listen, my father threw a windshield through a hammer through somebody's windshield one time.

[Kia]

We've all, we all have our things.

[Jade]

So we, you know, we have all fucked up. And that also is not to, to, to, to at all say what he did was okay or that, you know, putting your hands on somebody's. We're not saying that at all. But this is specifically about growing and changing. Because I think in this conversation that we're always having. Cancel culture. Cancel culture. There are, there, there are the R. Kelly's out here who need to just be buried up under the earth. And then there are people who are like, I was young, I was stupid as I was into some. I didn't have any business being into, but I'm not that person anymore. And I think that does exist at times. So anywho, that's pretty much it for the trash. We don't really have to go into too much more of this. I think that's enough. Shall we get to a shout out? My sister's popping right now. I'm excited for these shout outs. I love that you all are sending these emails and keep them coming. So we have an email, obviously, and it is from a listener named Ivy who writes in Praise the Lord, Dr. Takiya and Chef Jade. I wanted to give a shout out to myself, Ivy Wells. For the shout out to my segment of Getting Grown. I started a company in the midst of the dreadful Polly Pocket called I eat water in 2020. We are a mobile salad company in LA serving and teaching the bipoc community the importance of eating their water preventative health. Every Friday. Yes, we promote no beige plates so that you can properly moisturize your insides.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

Y' all know that's the language we like, which is why I pulled this up for sure. High blood pressure, diabetes and high cholesterol are the three major diseases that plague our community but can be prevented by intentionally digesting a minimum of 64 ounces of water per day. Of course, depending on your body and activity, you'll need more, but 64 ounces is a great start. We've curated salads with high water content foods that are as hydrating as drinking a bottle of water. And all of our dressings are made from scratch, packed with antioxidants and anti inflammatories. Our dressings are sold [e-mail] if you would like to have one of our salads. And it's not Friday. In 2020, we not only serve salads to LA, but also did two tours on the East coast serving over 500 salads in which promoted the lifestyle of a watertarian. And so she breaks down what a watertarian is. It's someone that prioritizes their water. But that doesn't mean that you cannot be recognized as a vegan, ve, vegetarian, pescatarian, or even a carnivore such as myself and Dr. Kia. But you can find all of [e-mail] or iater LA on Instagram and obviously you all know we're going to have all of that information in the description box. I went to the website and there is a G that's made with fresh garlic and lemons in the vinaigrette. It's just I'm here for the salad dressing. I'm here for the movement. Y' all know you all already know what our mantra is. So when I saw this email it was only perfect alignment in kismet that we read this as our shout out this week. So make sure you all check out ieatwater.com and I eat water la on Instagram. And again, all of that information will be in the description box. Love it. Keep sending us your shout outs. Tell us what you're doing. We want to announce it to the world.

[Kia]

For parents looking for a new path to help your child succeed this year, there's still time to enroll in K12 powered online schools. This could be a perfect fit for your family, your niece, your nephew, your cousin. K12 Power Schools offers tuition free accredited online public education for students in kindergarten through the 12th grade with a curriculum designed to meet your child where they are and support their unique needs and interests. There are even all kinds of extracurricular activities and ways for students to connect with peers to explore their interests. K12's dedicated teachers are trained in virtual instruction and provide real time support, all in an online setting that works for your family at home or anywhere there's Internet. Plus. K12 has been a leader in online education for more than 25 years, serving 3 million students and counting. It's not too late to enroll for this fall. See how K12 Power Schools can help your child thrive this year and beyond. Enroll online [e-mail] grown that's the letter K the number 12.com grown k12.com grown does anyone else feel like August is the Sunday of summer? It's the perfect time to hit reset before the autumn rush and your wardrobe is the perfect place to start. Quint's proves you don't need a crowded closet to look incredible, you just need the right pieces. Everything at Quint's is priced at 50 to 80% less than similar brands. They work directly with ethical factories and cut out the middlemen. So you're paying for high quality, not brand markup. Listen, I have been a quint's baddie for quite some time now. And what I really love about quints is they are high quality basics that really allow for a buildable wardrobe. I love that they're using natural fabrics and fibers. So the clothing is of high quality. It lasts well. I love Quince's cashmere and silk. They're offered at a wonderful price point. And now that we're headed into fall, I have re upped on some of my cashmere cardigans and crew necks and I just love how soft they are. Same for the washable silk. I have a couple of the skirts. I have a midi skirt, a maxi skirt. Those are the things that wear well throughout the seasons. Can't wait to wear them in the fall. Paired with, you know, my favorite boots and oxfords and loafers and things of that nature. Upgrade your everyday. Go to quince.com grown for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada and the UK too. That's Q U I-N-E.com grown for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quits.com grown this week at the kitchen table, we are going to talk about reading. Not the kind of reading that Crystal talked about in Paris is Burning.

[Jade]

Crystal Labeija.

[Kia]

I'm Peppa Labeija. I am mother of the house of Labeij.

[Jade]

I am of the house of Labeija, by the way.

[Kia]

Not the founder. Crystal's the founder. I just rule things now. Yes, Peppa, yes, Paris is burning. But yes, we're gonna be talking about raiding. But not that kind of reading. I found on the Internet Today that Monday, August 9th has been designated as National Book Lovers Day. And you know, as someone who has always loved to read and would consider herself a book lover, I figured it would be fun for us to celebrate that day.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

And so I was just curious. I have a couple of questions here. Okay. And I thought we could just talk about books for a little while.

[Jade]

Let's do it.

[Kia]

So would you consider yourself a book lover, sis?

[Jade]

I would consider myself a former wannabe book lover. Present day book lover. I love books. I was a huge reader as a. Up until I had a kid and then that just. It just all went to shit. But before, before eight years ago, Yes, I was an avid reader and a huge book lover. And we have a giant five shelf Something feet wide bookshelf that is just filled with literature.

[Kia]

We love literature. Book Lovers Day is an unofficial holiday observed to encourage bibliophiles.

[Jade]

Those are people.

[Kia]

That's the proper term for folks who love to read. To celebrate reading and literature, the day encourages people to put away our smartphones and every other technological distraction and pick up a book and read it for at some point. Today I love to read. I've always loved to read. I was the type of child, I remember me and Brian at one point when, when my parents got divorced and we moved in with my grandparents. There was a time when my mother, my brother and myself, all three of us shared a bedroom. Me and Brian slept in bunk beds on one side of the room and my mother had a bed on the other side of the room. And so during that time, my mom would send us to bed and the night light was at the foot of the bunk bed. And there were many, many nights that I would literally be found at the foot of the bed reading by nightlight. And my mom would come in and fuss and I would beg for like 10 or 15 more minutes until I could finish this chapter. But you know, reading was always an escape for me. I've always been a very. I say this now cause I feel like my vivid imagination at times, I feel like is what contributes most to my anxiety. Right. Because I can, you know, cook up, you know, a very detailed, scary worst case scenario in about three seconds. But the gift and the curse of that, I guess the gift of that is that, you know, I loved the way that books, words within the books, like literally painted pictures, movies that you can like watch in your mind. And so.

[Jade]

Yes, which is why they were always disappointing when they were turned into them.

[Kia]

Right, right. So it's like, you know, so. So I very much have always enjoyed reading. And so.

[Jade]

Okay, wait, so let's talk about some of these kids, some of these series we read as kids. Because I can get into this.

[Kia]

Okay, okay. Okay. So I will have to say if we going early, all the way, all the way back to like, like childhood maybe when I was about Noah's age, me and Brian both had a very elaborate collection of Berenstain bearer books.

[Jade]

Oh, let me tell you, every single one. Back when they had scriptures.

[Kia]

I mean, I can literally see the book, like the Berenstain book and the truth. The Berenstain bears and the truth going to the doctor. Berenstain bears forget their manners. Like I remember. I can see the covers of the books and I remember There was a toy chest that sat at the end of our bunk beds and, like, a shelf on top of that, that. That toy chest where all of the books lived. And my church had a club, a club for kids when we were younger called the Super Readers. And it encouraged. It was. It was designed to encourage, like, reading time, like, what parents would read to children. And eventually children would read to parents for 15 minutes every day. And so me and Brian were a part of the group of children that were, like, the founding members of that group. And we would. We would read the Berenstain Bear books and, like, you know, 15 minutes a day, and we get all these awards. Like, you read every day for 15 minutes for, like, one year, two years, 10 years, blah, blah, blah, blah. So the Berenstain Bears were a big part of that time. I think I graduated from the Berenstain Bears to. Do you remember. Okay. Do you remember Cam Jansen with the photographic memory? There was a white girl with red hair, and she had a photographic memory. It was like the Adventures of Cam Jansen or something like that.

[Jade]

Mysteries.

[Kia]

Yes, yes, yes. The Adventures of Cam Jansen were. Were. Were a part of that book. I also remember. Yeah. Cam Jensen. They were like, the first. Like, my first. Like, they were like little mystery novels for kids. I remember that. I also remember. Do you remember Amelia Bedelia?

[Jade]

First of all, I bought Noah and Amelia Bedelia set. I just want you to know that because for the nostalgia, with her loopy

[Kia]

ass, Amelia Bedelia was, like, the first time that I knew that books could be. Yes. Amelia Bedelia used to have me dying,

[Jade]

like, because she was so cool. She was a kooky, loopy white woman.

[Kia]

She was hilarious. Okay. And I'm like, they need to make an Amelia Bedelia movie today. Like that.

[Jade]

Okay, I would. Absolutely. Who. Who would you like to see play Amelia Bedelia?

[Kia]

Okay. Okay. Okay. I don't know. I wasn't prepared for this. Let me think. Who would be a good Amelia Bedelia?

[Jade]

And let me tell you, I do not want to see Anne Hathaway play a million.

[Kia]

Oh, no, no, no, no, no, no. It would need to be somebody like.

[Jade]

And I don't want to see Emma Stone do it either.

[Kia]

What's the lady that play?

[Jade]

I know who could play her.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Who?

[Jade]

Have you ever seen Bridesmaids? Yes, the Lee blonde lady from snm. Bridesmaids could be Amelia Bedelia.

[Kia]

I see that.

[Jade]

Who are you gonna say?

[Kia]

I don't know. She might be a little old to play her now, but back in her Day. Sandra Bullock, I think, would have made a good Amelia.

[Jade]

She might have. She might have been able to play an Amelia Bedelia.

[Kia]

I'm trying to think, though. I feel like there's got to be more.

[Jade]

I haven't seen nothing to hers because after she came, after the blind side came out, I could. I didn't watch anything going forward.

[Kia]

I just watched that or nothing after it out of my memory. But yes, Amelia Bedelia.

[Jade]

I was a big babysitter's club.

[Kia]

Babysitter's club. I was headed there next child because, you know, I had all of them, all of them books. I remember. I can see the little pink. They came in pastel colors, like pink, green, yellow, blue.

[Jade]

I remember with our block letters. And then babysitter's little sisters came out later. But my sister was into the babysitter's little sisters and I was into the babysitters club. And I read every. I had every last one of them for the Berenstain Bears. We would go visit my. Sometimes we would go in the summer to go visit my great grandparents in Groton, Connecticut, which is literally one of the most boring places on Earth. And the only thing we were able to do was walk to the library. And we would walk to the library and my, my grandpa would scream at us to not talk to anybody while we walked. And we would walk to the library, me, my cousin, and my s. Sister, and we would sit and read babysitters. I mean, read Berenstein Bear books until we walked back to my grand. My great grandparents. Very boring apartment. What else? Oh, so did you read the, did you read the Addie series from American Girls?

[Kia]

I did. I think I was a little old. Like, I was too old to be reading the books, but I came out.

[Jade]

Yeah, they came out in like 93, 92.

[Kia]

Because they were like, they were four kids, right?

[Jade]

Yeah, they. They were for your. Yeah, for your, your 10 and like 11 year olds.

[Kia]

Yeah, because I'm. Let me, let me look it up. I remember, I remember them.

[Jade]

So I just bought the series for Noah on ebay. Oh, that'll be cute because you can't find it anywhere, but I found it on ebay, so I bought the whole Addie series for her to read on ebay.

[Kia]

Oh, yay. I can't wait for her to read. Does no one like to read?

[Jade]

Yes, she loves to read. So it's funny when you talk about this 15 minute thing because we have literally been every night of her life. We, we do, we do a story whether, you know, it used to be just like, you know, the simple books. And now we'll do chapter books and like read a chapter each night or two chapters if we're really getting into it. So we're reading the Addie series and then a chapter book called One Crazy Summer, which is a book about these, these young black kids having like this, having this summer where like, you know, a magical thing happens to them and like, things kind of transform. But it's a very black setting, which I really enjoy from the nicknames to like how the grandmother is. And I try to keep most of her books black center just to, you know. But I still want her to like. I still bought her the Emilia Bedelia series. I bought her the Roald Dahl set for Christmas years ago.

[Kia]

Forget Roald Dahl and the witches. And I mean.

[Jade]

Oh, yes, Matilda the Witches, James and the Giant Peach.

[Kia]

Literally staples in. In staples, literally life changing moments for Takiya, the small child book lover.

[Jade]

So she has the whole Roald Doll series. She has the whole Berenstain Bear series. I know a lot of people have like, kind of gotten away from them because they were too religious for them, even though, you know, that's not really a thing in our house like that. I'm, I still, they're still nostalgic for me.

[Kia]

Right.

[Jade]

So. And I think they, they teach little good lessons to kids. Like, I'm like, cleaning. Yeah. Values and good, clean your room. Don't bully people. Like, be a good person.

[Kia]

Yes. So.

[Jade]

So she's got, she's got a. She's got her own collection of like all the stuff we were reading as kids. Then as I got older, obviously I got into like niglature, you know, your coldest winner ever. Your Fly Girl.

[Kia]

I had a, I had a very bad Terry McMillan stage.

[Jade]

Oh, yes. Oh, yes.

[Kia]

Where I was heavily into those books. And now I know that I was maybe like 14, 13, 14 reading.

[Jade]

With reading Terry McMillan, I feel like

[Kia]

I was 13, 14, 15.

[Jade]

That makes sense.

[Kia]

Reading Terry McMillan. Not having any business reading that mess.

[Jade]

No, but I wanted to be Tracy and Fly Girl. I was like, yeah, yeah, nigga, that's it right there.

[Kia]

You know, right around that time, you know, we progressed into like the Eric Jerome Dickeys.

[Jade]

Oh, yes. Oh, God don't like ugly. And God don't like ugly too. Those were my books.

[Kia]

What a mess.

[Jade]

But then I got into not sci fi, but kind of like mythology, which was an interesting term.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Jade]

And I read American Gods. And I read American Gods probably in. I don't, I don't even know 05 or something. And I loved the book so much. You talked earlier about just like being able to paint pictures. Neil Gaiman did such a beautiful job of describing things. American Gods is kind of a blend of Greek mythology, other mythologies, got a Nancy and it's all these different gods who come together in this real world. It. I don't even, I don't even know how to explain it to you right now, but it's kind of like a modern day world. But then they're still having like a spiritual warfare. But just the way that he paints the pictures, the little, the little stories, the offshoot stories throughout the book, it's just so descriptive that you can literally see it. Which is why when the TV show came out, the cinematography of it was beautiful, but there was so much packed in that book. It was hard for them to do that in the show. And then they turned around and they fired Orlando Jones. Is it Orlando Jones? Bloom? Which one's the black one?

[Kia]

Orlando

[Jade]

Jones? Jones. I think you talk about Orlando Jones. I think it's Orlando Jones because.

[Kia]

But yes, that's, yes. Okay, American Gods.

[Jade]

Yes, he played Anansi and then they fired him from the show, which pissed me off because he was the best thing about it. But anyway, I'm getting off subject. American Gods was such an incredible book to me. And that's when I started kind of really getting into my like. Because I was really fascinated with mythology growing up. Whether it was, you know, reading about the Egyptian gods or reading about Greek mythology, obviously African ancestry and our mythology. I loved reading about those, just those origin stories. So, you know, as an adult, it kind of turned into literature, into that literature for me. Then he did like a sequel and a Nancy sequel that was really good. So, yes, I love books. I love books.

[Kia]

I see. While you was reading the mythology, I had a stage where I was very much into like black autobiographies. Yeah. So I remember we read, we read Zora Neale Hurston, Their Eyes Are Watching God in school. And I remember from there, I kind of. I remember. I read Maya Angelou, I know why the Caged Bird Sings. I read, of course, Malcolm X. I read Blue Aside Asada. Yes. I read, you know, all of, all of these things. You know, Langston Hughes, W.E.B. du Bois. I read. I remember in, in my senior year in high school, I took an African American literature class and I read a lot of Richard Wright. That's when I got into like Native Son.

[Jade]

And. It was not, not a, not a. No, no. I'm thinking Of a Thousand Splendid Sons. That's not black. That was Middle Eastern somewhere. I forget.

[Kia]

Yeah. James Baldwin.

[Jade]

I remember reading my favorite with his.

[Kia]

Listen, I might.

[Jade]

Reading my favorite reading.

[Kia]

He's still reading us. He's still reading America to this day. I mean, we just. We just stand. But, yes, I remember reading. I remember reading the Color Purple, which was not.

[Jade]

I just bought a new copy of that.

[Kia]

But, yeah, I remember from there I transitioned into, like, plays. So I read a lot of plays. I read a lot of Alice Walker. I read a lot of Tennessee Williams. I remember we read the Glass Menagerie in school. And that sort of sent me into a moment where I was really into reading all kinds of plays. So, yeah, I read some Ralph Ellison, those kinds of things. I remember very distinctly being captivated by the way that black people told stories.

[Jade]

Always been the best.

[Kia]

Yes. And feeling very seen and represented. You know, while we were reading things like the Odyssey and Moby Dick, you know, and not so much connecting. I remember I read the Diary of Miss Jane Pittman. So all of these things I very much remember. And I. That's one of my favorites. I love. I got. I remember. I took. I remember in high school, I was in the AP English class. During the first week, you have to complete an assignment based on the book that you read in the summer. Of course, I was the only black person in the class who read. And the Diary of Miss Jane Pittman was on the list. And so I had to write, like, a book report or a paper or something about the Diary of Miss Jane Pittman. And I wrote it and thought that I did a good job. And I had this crazy white man English teacher who. Sweat. He used to sweat through all his shirts, his pits. He had pit stains. I don't care if it was a sweater. I don't care if it was a sweatshirt. He had a trench coat. It was always a pit stain, which was just disgusting. He always smelled like red onions. In class. It would just be terrible. But I remember he. He had said something with some sort of. I don't even remember exactly what it was, but he made some snide remark about my report on Miss Jane Pittman. Like, he wrote it in the margins in, like, red ink or something. He was, like, cute, but something, something, something like. He said it was very, like, flip. And I just took it home. And I remember my grandfather read that. And when I tell you ddot shined his shoes and came up to that

[Jade]

school the next day. Let me. Wait a minute.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Wait a minute.

[Jade]

Because I'M sitting here, I'm listening to him. Like, wait a minute. I literally had the same thing happen. I had to write a report, and I had to. This was earlier on, because this is a younger book. Roll of thunder, Hear my cry.

[Kia]

I don't even remember. Like, and this white lady was. It was just like, it's clear that you enjoyed this book and you read it and you understood it. It was like, you know, you maybe got a little too deep or too excited or. Let's not get carried away. It was kind of like, let's not get carried away. Don't do too much or something. Like, you know, it's a good book, but dang, like, something like. Something like that. My grandfather came up to that school and was like, let me tell you 37 things, white man. Okay? What we won't be doing today, we will not belittle the contributions of African American authors like this. Like, Jane Pittman. I mean, Jane Pittman was. I mean, he went off on this white man and was like, how dare you dismiss this child's good excitement for African American literature? Like, he went off. And I was just sitting there like, yup. And my grandma was like, I'm pulling. I'm pulling her out of this class because I cannot trust you to cultivate her gifts properly. Like, and it was a mess. It was a total mess. And we were standing. Me and my mother was standing behind DD like, say something else. Exactly. Exactly. It was. It was a moment. But I remember being like. That was one of the first times when I. When I realized that there were some white people who were surprised, shocked, or thought that my. My loving me being a lover of books or me being a strong writer, a strong reader was some sort of anomaly. Like, you know, people used to treat it like. It was like, oh, my God, Takiya's so exceptional. It's like, no, girl, we be reading. What you think?

[Jade]

No, we just. We enjoy reading, too. I don't like that. Actually, they did the same thing with my mother, where they would talk about our reading levels. And because I was a avid reader, if I could sit in the back of the classroom and read a book, that's what I was doing. And I don't like that emphasis. Oh, they're set. They're so black. People like to read, too. We like to read and we like to write, nigga. And we've been doing it as long as we can. So I don't understand the shock and the awe of it. But no, that is so funny, because we had the exact Same.

[Kia]

I would venture to. I would venture to say that there are probably many other people at the kitchen table right now, other little brown, black and brown boys and girls who. Who have had similar experiences.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

But yeah, here we are reading. I mean, 20 years later.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Kia]

Let me ask you this. If there was a book or one or two books, I know it may be hard to sort of narrow it down to one that had a large impact on you. Like, is there a book that you can think of that stands out as a book that changed your life, changed the way that you see things, changed your perspective in any way?

[Jade]

Well, the book I'm reading now is absolutely incredible. And I know Fran spoke about it, Crystal, and I gave her a copy for her birthday. It's called Opening to Spirit. And it's, it just, it discusses African spirituality and, and your chakra work, your chakras and your energy. But it just has, it's, it's a really beautiful, beautiful book. I'm actually not even done with it because it's one of those where it's not like a read straight through, like a fictional book. It's a, it's one that you like, sit and you read a portion and you do some exercises and you start, you know, kind of really meditating on, on your own shit, you know, incorporating it into your own life. So it's a, that's one that has been, that's been absolutely just incredible. And then you mentioned it already earlier, but the autobiography of Assada Shakur Sada's autobiography is one of my forever books. When I lived on my own for a really long time and there was always a copy on my toilet. It always, that is the one book that said if anybody went into the bathroom, it got sprayed and everything. But if anybody went to the bathroom, it was always a copy of Assata Shakur's autobiography, which also then I carried in my backpack because I used to have to ride the train with many white people to go to Columbus Circle, and that was the best way to make them feel uncomfortable.

[Kia]

But

[Jade]

I just have such an immense respect for her. I want to go to Cuba and find her, but I know that's not going to happen. You know, that's the. That's really the first time where I was like, yes, burn all this shit down.

[Kia]

Definitely had an impact on me. I've read it a couple of times. Well, a few times in my life. And I feel like every time I pick it up, I'm in a different season or stage or phase of my life, and I feel like I connect with it on a different level. So it's just one of those books that literally keeps on giving.

[Jade]

If I could go into Toni Morrison right now, we would actually be having, like, seven kitchen table talks. So I think. I think we should actually save now,

[Kia]

you know, Tony Moore's

[Jade]

discussion one day.

[Kia]

It's taken me, like, she's. She is the author that pushed me in so many ways. Like, you know, I've always been a person who loved to read and really sort of took to reading. But, like, Toni Morrison's books are not books that I feel like. I don't want to say they're not leisure reading for me, because they. I do enjoy them, but I have to study. I have to study Toni Morrison, like, she's the author that you got to read them sentences two or three times. And we'd be like, okay, let me go back. Because what? Like, like. Like, I got to sit. You know, I'm like, wait a minute.

[Jade]

Let me have to sit with it if you have to.

[Kia]

So that's what. And I. At first, you know, when I was younger, I was off put, and I used to be like, you know, everybody loves these books. Maybe I'm just not smart enough because I'd be struggling. But I feel like going back and really committing to seeing the book through really gave me, like, so much appreciation for, like, literary art and recognizing the level of gifting that somebody like Toni Morrison had, how she. What was she embodied and. And how masterful author she. She really is. And it took some time for me to get there, but I. I'm. I definitely remember. I remember that pretty significantly. The Color Purple also has a great significance to me. And I, I just, that's another one. And I don't even remember how or why, but I remember literally being captivated by that book as a, as a teenager. And I read it again maybe when I was around 25, 26, and I honestly feel like I might pick it up again now. Cause I do feel like it's one of those books you gotta read every 10 years. Well, English writing was one of my minors in college. And at that time I was introduced to really studying like folklore and memoirs and those kind of things and Zora Neale Hurston's Folklore Memoirs and other writings. Like that whole anthology changed the game for me on so many levels. And I really fell in love with the short story then. Right. And so that, that, that was probably. That was a pretty big pivotal book for me. And I mean of course I love more recent things, like more more recent sort of books that have, you know, I feel like all my favorite books are things that were published in the 90s or priority to. Maybe I'm just old that way.

[Jade]

But. No, I'm trying to think what I. Okay, let me ask you this. Have you read a book that you were surprised that you enjoy that? Surprised that you enjoyed it? Like maybe it was a recommendation or something?

[Kia]

If we go on to like. Actually yes, so. So the things that come to came to mind immediately were like those, you know, the era where it was like the self published black authors were publishing like true to the game and those kinds of things. I judge true to the game because you know, my nerdy self. My nerdy self would be in there like, you know, this is a comment needs to be a semicolon. Like I'll be editing the book and you know, just being snooty and snide. But if I'm honest and, and you know, I can own that. I did not expect to really stay engaged with the story, but I did like, you know, so that those are the first books that come to mind. But if I was to think a little bit more. Is there one for you? Let me think a little bit more.

[Jade]

Yes. So it was a. I think it was a gift. It was a gift or a recommendation, one or the other. It's a memoir by a white woman named National Wolf. Exactly. Called I'm Down. And I was like, so you, you know, I don't really need to go into it. You all already know my thoughts, my feelings and in my heart.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

So.

[Jade]

So I did not, I didn't really intend to read it. And then I didn't expect to enjoy it. And it was actually a very, like, pleasant, enjoyable read. It was just one of those, because I do, I do, I do love. You know, I'm right now I'm. I'm into opening to spirit, but I like a nice, easy read as well. Like to accompany. I like something where I can just kind of get into the story. I like books that make me chuckle out loud. And I'm down was about this white woman who as a young girl. It's her memoir. It's her. It's actually Mishna's memoir, but she's this white girl who grows up in an all black neighborhood. So that's why when it was first, you know, told, when I was first told about it, I was like, yeah, I don't know about all that. They were like, no, no, no, you got to read it. So she grew up in a black neighborhood, and her sister was always accepted by the black kids in the neighborhood. Her father was this like, white man who loved black culture. He be playing spades with his homeboys. He made her call all his homeboys, uncles, such and such, and it would always be a band of niggas. And she was just this, like, just this lily white girl. She's like, I couldn't dance. I couldn't do shit. My sister was able to get everything down with the kids in the neighborhood, and I couldn't do none of it. I was just white. And I just. That's just who I always was. It disappointed my father, it disappointed my sister, but I was just white. And it wasn't because I didn't want these things. It was because I just didn't have the ability. And it was just actually an enjoyable read. So that was one of those books

[Kia]

where I did enjoy, as you were sharing that, it made me think of a time in high school. Remember I told you I took that, that African American literature class in high school? I think in my senior year, it was taught, interestingly enough, it was taught by a white man, a white named Mr. Davis. And Mr. Davis was a white man, but he was like, he was kind of like a John B. You know? You know what I'm saying? So, you know, it was just like, okay, you want to teach this class? Okay, we'll give you okay.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Okay.

[Kia]

So, you know, I just was like, okay, we'll get into it and see what he got. Rachel Dolosa, he told us about you, remember? I don't know if you're familiar with the story with the book Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin. Black Like Me by John Howard Griffin, was a. Was a story white man who was a journalist in the 1960s, and he literally turned himself into a black man and lived his life as a black man for a year or so and chronicled his experience.

[Jade]

Oh, I'm looking at it right here.

[Kia]

So he literally. Right. So I don't remember exactly how he did it. He took, like, some medication that was prescribed to people who had vitiligo to, like, darken his skin, and he wore makeup and changed his features and, you know, did all kinds of things. Now, Mr. Davis told us to read this book, and I was adamant, like, this some bull. I'm not going to read this. Like, what? Like, I was on some, like, what, what? Like, is everybody crazy? I remember looking around the room like,

[Jade]

do y' all hear this man telling

[Kia]

us, what is this? Like, I remember, like, literally being like, what on earth? And, you know. But got into the book and it was such. It was probably the first time that I had seen in print a white person acknowledge the inhumanity of the Jim Crow South. And it was just a poignant. And the words were so clear. And it was the first time I had seen that level of acknowledgement from white people. And I just remember that experience resonating with me really deeply and being validated and affirmed. And, I mean, just seeing a white person acknowledge, yes, this is a thing. And the book was written in, like, 19. I mean, I mean, it's been out for over 50 years, so even when I was in high school, it was 30 years old. But. But it's still a very resonant story that even if you were to pick it up today, would, I think, would be a profound experience for. For black people. So that's a book that I did not expect to. I did not expect to like or. Or didn't think that it would be impactful or fruitful for me to read it. But it turned out that it was one of those, like, game changer kind of books for me.

[Jade]

Like.

[Kia]

Oh. I mean, there are parts of it where it gets tough, right? Where it's like, all right, but. But. But, you know. But, you know, when you work through. When you work through, it is interesting and, you know, it's an interesting book to read. And so, I don't know. I definitely remember that sort of being a game changer. So do you think that you would ever write a book?

[Jade]

It's funny you should ask that. So when I was pregnant and had, like, you know, I was living a personal hell on earth. At certain parts of it, not the whole thing, but certain parts of it were hell on earth. When it was all said and done, I was like, you know, what to expect when you're expecting is cool or whatever. I was like, but I think I want to write a book and y' all better not fucking steal it called Fuck the Glow. And it was just going to be about the. On my honest experience experience. And I wanted to compile a bunch of different women's personal experiences who have dealt with difficulties in childbirth or non. Difficulties in childbirth. Some of the real honest things that you deal with that they don't necessarily talk to you about. Like if you don't have insurance, how you can have a laundry list of shitty doctors who you know are just assigned because they're there to deal with people who are low income or don't have insurance and then you're not treated as well or you know, just like dry heaving for no reason at the supermarket and you don't even like. They talk about morning sickness and everybody's like, oh, you throw up once. You're fine. No, I'd be at the meat counter and then all of a sudden I'm dry heaving and the man thinks I'm crazy. Like just all. Just real life experiences through being pregnant. And I wanted to call it the Glow. Right. What about you? Well, you've. Excuse me, you've written books, but.

[Kia]

Well, I mean my dissertation, I guess. But it is. It is something that I've always wanted to do and I've wanted to write, you know, fiction and non fiction so there is always wanted to. I remember I wrote this story. I took a narrative inquiry class in college and we had to write a. A book, a short story, I mean. And I wrote. I wrote this short story. I don't even know where I would try to find it, but it was like my first time writing fiction and I absolutely loved it. It was some story of some little girl who lived in the city and you know, had dreams of being like. Dreams of leaving the city, but because you know, of where she grew up and. And her not really knowing much or knowing, you know, having a lot of access to different resources. She would transport herself to these places through her journal. And I don't even. I don't even remember. I don't even remember the title of it. But she know like, you know, I it within the. It was like an anthology of short stories and each short story she was in a different place.

[Jade]

Sis, you need to do this for black girls. Like, what the fuck so it was cool.

[Kia]

It was cool. Maybe I have to. I have to find that and blow the dust off of it, see if that'll be a thing. But I do get a kid's ass, y'.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

All.

[Jade]

Cause she needs to do this.

[Kia]

I feel like this is something I feel like also I'm. I'm working on it and I feel silly. Maybe I shouldn't share it because I don't want anybody to steal it. But I don't know. Let's talk about it. So like we talked about before on the show, I think that there's a lot of synergies I'm learning, I'm experiencing that there's a lot of synergies in the different areas of my life, in my work, right? And for a long time I used to think that podcasting was separate from my scholarly work and. But. But now I'm really recognizing that there. That there is a lot to. To learn and how like, you know, my life, like, informs my work in so many different ways. And so when I. When I think about that, you know, I'm a. I'm a scholar of change and transformation, understanding, like what people and organizations need to learn, grow and change throughout the different, you know, throughout the different evolutions of life. And so another thing that, that is very near and dear to my heart has been, you know, sort of me talking about grief. So I think that something that I want to do and this is something like, you know, this is even. It's a double because I'm going to tell all my business, I guess. So I was talking to reefa about this because a long time ago. What up, Reef? I just love her. I was telling her that I wanted to apply to be a TEDx fellow. Like, I wanted to do the TED talk. They have like a fellows program. But I will always, like two years, for the last two years, I've talked myself out of an. Out of doing this application, but I'm going to get my. My shit together and do it this year. But. But I want to talk about how grief is. I want to, you know, grief the game changer because I feel like there's so much that we learn through like, grief. Grief is an awesome lens. It's an awesome framework for thinking about the different changes in. Of life. And like, grief has sort of transformed me in many different ways. And grief is a part of the transformation process. And that, you know, transformation requires things to die and us to sort of evolve through that. So grief, the game changer is something. And, you know, I think that my scholarship, the work that I'm doing around organizational change and the grief that organizations go through as they are aspiring toward change and transformation. So that's kind of like an area. And maybe this will be some accountability for me, but that's kind of an area where I see myself sort of headed as far as, like, some of the written work that I want. Want to do. That's beautiful because I do think that grief is a. Is a master teacher and it. And I feel like it's unfortunate that we've all had to deal with grief in some way, shape, form or fashion. But if I'm honest, the process of me grieving my brother, someone who is so close to me, and losing that, like, the process, navigating that process has really been an awesome lens for me to think about life and purpose and all of that. So. So those are my. So, yeah, man, those are the books that I feel like beautiful are in my. In my spirit to offer and hopefully don't nobody steal them. But listen,

[Jade]

if you do, your book is going to flop and fail. Your. Your. Your words are going to come out disheveled and. And confused.

[Kia]

Yeah, I think. I think I'm putting it on you. I mean, I just think that reading is. Is such a gift. It's such a blessing. It's such an opportunity for us to sort of escape the. The heaviness of reality. Right. There are times where. When life can really be heavy, but reading can be a respite. Right. It can literally, like, be like a break from. From what you are currently facing or dealing with. And I'm just glad that we could celebrate books and reading today at the table.

[Jade]

You've written books with other people?

[Kia]

You know, yeah, I've done some. I mean, I've got some book chapters I've contributed, which is also an awesome treat because I think. I think that, you know, what I love about it, being a scholar, being someone who has a PhD, is what the power of it is. I think, you know, I'm positioned to contribute to the textbooks that people are reading, the tools and resources that are used in classrooms to sort of to facilitate, you know, the education of the next generation of leaders and thinkers. And so I don't take that for granted. I think that that's an important assignment. And there is. There is a great need for little black girls from everywhere to be doing that and contributing to the discourse in that way. So I'm excited. And I'm not the only one. So, you know, stay tuned because, you know, getting grown, team Type of fast. We're doing some things where it is. It is my hope, where we can use this platform as. As a. As a means for amplifying other black scholars and thinkers, people who are contributing, you know, sort of limiting, shortening that gap between the academy and real life. Because a lot of the things that we are studying have real time practical applications. And it's not just things that we need to talk about in academic spaces, but we need to be talking about these things around the kitchen table and everywhere else where you can access the podcast.

[Jade]

Yes. And that's why I've put some of my own things on hiatus so we can get some getting grown things together, because we have some fun plans for you all. And I was sitting here thinking, I was like, why don't we write a getting grown children's book?

[Kia]

Oh, my God.

[Jade]

The ABCs of adulting. Why don't we.

[Kia]

Because we do have that presentation that we already did.

[Jade]

We should. Let's do a. Children. We should do a Getting grown children.

[Kia]

We should do something for tweens, right? Yeah, like something for the. For the. For the people who are on the precipice of adulting.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

Someone who's like 16, 17 and think they grown. Let me tell you what this is all about right now, sis.

[Jade]

Oh, my God. Can we do that?

[Kia]

I'm down. Things we wish we would have known when we were 18.

[Jade]

Yes. Huh? Come on. Yes.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Very important.

[Jade]

Would you all read that? Ask your teenagers.

[Kia]

Ask your teenagers. And I mean, not even tweens and 20 somethings. Because I think that there are some 22 year olds who would benefit from.

[Jade]

There are some 30 year olds who benefit.

[Kia]

I love to see it.

[Jade]

So stay tuned for some really fun things coming from getting grown. And, you know, hopefully Kia saying these things out loud is a manifestation of these beautiful concepts, because I personally, I would read these books.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Really?

[Jade]

Yeah. Hell yeah. The. The little. The little black girl who transports herself through her journal. Are you kidding me?

[Kia]

The little girl, like, there was one chapter where she worked in like a. A speakeasy in the twenties in. In Harlem.

[Jade]

Hello.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Yo.

[Jade]

You, like, made like a little hippolyta

[Narrator/Advertiser]

from

[Jade]

like, what the. That's what she said when she was transporting all over the place in the one episode of what's it called? I love that show. Lovecraft Country.

[Kia]

Oh, yes.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Love.

[Jade]

That's what she's. I am Hipponida. That's. That's what that sounds like he was doing. And I would love that. And I know, like, Noah would love to read A story like that, that would. And that would open up little black girls imaginations to. Well, where, where can I transport myself in my journal when I'm.

[Kia]

I think we need to like black, Black girls need more options. Like, like, I want, like, you know, one, one. I want to be a chemist or I want to be an astronaut. I want to be at a fighter, a fighter pilot. I don't know, anything.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

An Olympian, anything. So what would that look like?

[Jade]

I love that. I love that so much. I would love to see that come to fruition.

[Kia]

The resources, Lord. Send the resources to follow through. Okay, I love that.

[Jade]

Oh, I love that. Okay, well, that is our kitchen table talk this week. You know, for our bibliophiles and such. We'd love to hear some of your favorite book suggestions. We are actually, we talked about this kind of casually. I think he and I are both on board to, to reboot the Getting Grown book club. We are. So we are going to talk, we're talking through that as well as many other ways to engage and have you all be a part of our community and a bunch of. In our community that like kind of breaks out into other communities. It's very dope. So we'll have more of those announcements coming to you soon. But in the meantime, let's head over to this honesty box. Let's do it.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Jade]

Honestly.

[Kia]

Truly.

[Jade]

All right. It's time for this good honesty box and I am ready for one of your pseudonyms.

[Kia]

Okay, let's do. Okay, hold on. Jill Scott.

[Jade]

Okay. And I want you to listen closely to this one because this is more in your me. Yes. Your. Your category of expertise.

[Kia]

All right.

[Jade]

Dear Jade and Kia, I hope that you all are doing well and staying safe in the middle of this Pantene Pro V mess.

[Kia]

Just a total mess. I love it.

[Jade]

Keep them coming. You can name me however you'd like. Well, you are Jill Scott. Thank you. I am writing to you both for advice on how to stay motivated in really difficult times. I'm currently a 24 year old entering my third year of my PhD. I know that pursuing a PhD will be a long and arduous journey, but I did not know that I would be doing this in the middle of a global pandemic. Much of my research is conducted in a research lab and in Toronto, where I am from, we had six months of lockdown with no data collection. My advisor is in no way pushing me to make up for lost time, but I'm struggling to find the motivation to continue. I want to move forward, but sometimes I feel like I'm stuck. How have you found motivation and pushed yourself in some hard and trying times? If by any chance you get to read this email, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Aw.

[Jade]

God bless and stay safe. Jill Scott.

[Kia]

Jill Girl. Jale Chile from Philly. Okay, so I think that I want to start by saying this Ponderosa, this COVID 19, all of her lion sisters, you know, oh my God, her and

[Jade]

all of her evil sisters.

[Kia]

It is just like this is an unprecedented time. And so I feel, I know the PhD in sort of navigating, you know, these terminal degrees, we all go into it with a timeline in mind and that, you know, the clock starts ticking and that pressure is on us to complete things, you know, as we plan to. But one thing that I, that I will say is that, you know, the PhD taught me that, you know, you know, it's always great to have a plan, but really flexibility and adapt and adaptability are really what's going to see you through to the end of it. And so I want to encourage you to know that, you know, you don't. I want to encourage you to relieve yourself of the pressure to know how to get a PhD during the pandemic because that's not something that you should feel like you are mastering or doing, doing well, it's totally fair and warranted for you to feel this pressure. We are navigating a global, you know, a time of lot of death and destruction and, and depression and good news and bad news. And so you not being motivated or you feeling, you know, distracted by what's going on around you is totally fair. And I want you to sort of allow yourself that space because it's, you know, there are times when unfortunately our work is not the priority. Like, you know, our work. It's hard for your research to be front and foremost, front and center in your mind when people are dying around you and when we are navigating literally a global health crisis. So I just want to sort of say that like it's totally fair for you to be where you are. You are not behind, you are not, you're not, you know, I don't know. I just want you to know that you're not doing poorly. You are, you are doing well.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And so I want you to sort of sit with that, let that sort of really be a thing for you. Remind yourself of that. Write it on a. Post it and put it on your, on your lab table, on your desk, on your laptop. Remind yourself that every day I show up to the lab and do anything is a great day for me. I am out here absolutely. Because we are in a really trying time and everybody's productivity has taken a hit. I don't care who you are and I don't care how many, many people you see on Instagram but don't started the business or paid off all day debt during this time. We, all of us have, have taken a. Productivity has taken a hit and I think that's for the best. I think this time has taught us that our product, you know, there are times when what we do is not as important as, you know, who we are, what we need.

[Jade]

Yeah. And what we need. Yeah.

[Kia]

Yeah. So I want to just sort of ground, ground my, ground my comments in that and also offer you that it's okay if your timeline is extended because of a global crisis. Like, like it's okay if it, instead of you finishing your PhD in four years, it takes four and a half or five. It's totally okay. There's no, you know, there is, there's no shame in that. There is no fault. Doesn't make you any less brilliant. Your PhD is still going to have all of the pizzazz that it, that it has. If you get it, you know, if it takes you to a year or two more to, to, to wrap it up. And as far as your motivation, one of the things that I have been sort of doing for myself because I too am, you know, just tired. I think I've, you know, at work there's been lots of pressure for us to sort of continue to do even like, you know, we were not given an opportunity to slow down, which I think is important. But unfortunately, I was not given an opportunity to slow down at work. And now, you know, I'm really, really honestly feeling the weight of just constantly going, going, going, going, going during a very difficult time in the world. And one so. And as such, I'm working a lot slower. I'm not as inspired to keep pushing, but one of the things that I try to keep myself grounded in is that everywhere I am is where I'm supposed to be. And I. And that I pray every day for. For God to equip me with what I need to make it to the end of that day. I have my goals and the things that I'm working on, but I'm more focused right now on learning how to integrate flexibility into my days. I'm speaking up and asking for what I need. If that's more time, if that's more support, if that's help, if that's another set of hands or eyes or somebody else to take on another task, if that's delegating things off to other people, I'm taking that time to prioritize that and really trying to cultivate spaces where I am restored in spirit and mind to sort of, you know. You know, we can't really produce and create and think when we are tired and stressed out. And so the onus, then is on us to really prioritize creating space in our lives, to really sort of rest and recover and sort of reclaim the joy that comes from our creativity and the things that, you know, there was a time when your research turned you on and made you. It inspired you and motivated you to, you know, to want to keep trying new things and testing things out. And in all of the crazy, it's totally fair for that to have, you know, gotten lost for a moment. And so our priority then is to sort of reclaim that, find it again. What are the things about my research that make me excited and trying to create it? And so I don't know. That's just what I'm working on. Those are the things that are helping me. I make lists. I try to pick one or two things that I want to do or accomplish every day. I'm trying to set smaller goals instead of saying, I need to accomplish six things today. If I can accomplish these two things, you know, I'm taking breaks. I'm trying to go outside and, you know, open my blinds, I'm trying to work out. I'm trying to reincorporate time to lay down or watch TV into my day, because those are the things that, you know, give My mind, the break that it needs to try to get back to thinking the way that I. That I need to. So I think there are times where we have to slow down, and I know I'm talking a lot. I'm gonna shut up.

[Jade]

Oh, you're fine. No, please.

[Kia]

There are times we have to slow down, to speed up again. And so maybe this time for you, if you feel yourself slowing down, instead of resisting it, embrace it, open yourself up to it, and remember that it is very much a part of the process. It doesn't make you any less great, any less brilliant, any less powerful, any less a bad bitch. But. But there is. There is. There is. It's an opportunity for you to sort of to look inward and figure out the things that are. That alleviate or mitigate your stress and free you up to do all the things that, you know, that you do well.

[Jade]

Absolutely, Absolutely. I don't have anything to add to that. I think Kia said it. There's no shame in anything.

[Kia]

No shame at all.

[Jade]

I'm about to go back to school, 36, and it's fine.

[Kia]

And it's going to be an adjustment. It's going to be like a. Dang. This is terrible.

[Jade]

Yeah, no, it absolutely is. I'm already having the. The palpitations of God. And I already know, you know, it's gonna. It's gonna. It is gonna be an adjustment, but, you know, it is what it is, and I had to find the motivation to do that. You know what I mean, at 36. So I say all that to say, you know, it comes when it's ready to come. And like you said, we're living in the middle of a global pandemic, literally, so there's really no shame in anything right now. You do what you need to do, and you don't do more than you can do.

[Kia]

There are some times when you can't. Like, I had to, like, own it and be like, sometimes I can't sit to the table and do this data analysis, or I can't think to read these emails because I'm scared. Because I saw something on the Internet or on the news that literally scared me. It's, you know, whether it's all of these people, you know, the number, the COVID cases going up or anything that's going on in the world, shootings, fires. There's so much happening, and I have to be honest about the fact that those things trigger me, and when I'm triggered, I cannot sit down to this excel sheet and get nothing done. And there's Nothing wrong with that. Like, you shouldn't. You shouldn't have to, you know, work when you're afraid. Like, you should be able to focus on what are the things that I need to sort of make myself okay so that I can be okay and do my work. And I think that's important. That's very important. We have. That we've got to do. Don't let nobody tell you that. That's not important. That should be priority over. Over your productivity.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

Because if you're not okay, ain't gonna be no productivity. No way. So what are we saying?

[Jade]

If Simone Biles can say, I am not participating in this season of the Olympics, you can say, I ain't got it right now.

[Kia]

I'm not good. Like, I'm not. I'm not good. I'm not. I know that y' all need me to do this, but I'm not good right now. So I need some time until I can be good again. Like. And that's.

[Jade]

Honor that.

[Kia]

Honor that. Like, that's so real. And. Yeah. So, Jill Scott, girl, get to the lab when you can.

[Jade]

You will.

[Kia]

You will continue to do well because you've done well to get you to this point. So don't start thinking that, you know, this is. This is not about doubting yourself. This is not about, you know, being lazy. This is about, I gotta do what I need to do for me. If I'm not motivated, then maybe I need to take some time to think about why I'm not motivated no more and really lean into it so that we can figure out where. Where it's coming from and we can do something about it.

[Jade]

Absolutely. I hope that's helpful, Jill Scott.

[Kia]

Yeah, man.

[Jade]

And Also, you are 24 years old

[Kia]

in a PhD program, baby.

[Jade]

Christ, you are hard. You already. You already good, girl.

[Kia]

And you deserve a nap.

[Jade]

Okay. What would be the difference if you

[Kia]

getting your PhD at 25 or 26?

[Jade]

Nothing. Nothing. Honestly. You can honestly go nap for two whole years and you'll still be ahead.

[Kia]

Bless your heart.

[Jade]

Just perspective. Continue to send your Odyssey box questions to Getting Grown podcast gmail.com. and don't forget, you can also send your journal submissions, which are things that you may need to share, but you don't have any other space in which to do it. And, you know, Kia and I don't. We love a pseudonym. So I. I would. I would love to do some journal entries as well and make sure you all, you know, title things in the subject lines and so forth so we know what's What? And we will move along to this black woman self care.

[Kia]

All right.

[Jade]

I deserve.

[Kia]

All right. Black woman self care minus. Very short and to the point. Last week I had my very first over the night, house guest overnight house guest.

[Jade]

Oh, yes, you did.

[Kia]

Latoya. You know, friends of the show. My bestie, Toya came and spent the week with me last week and we really didn't have any. We didn't have any plans, you know, we just. She worked, I worked. But we, you know, we went grocery shopping and we cooked and we just had a good time. We watched the verses, we watched television. We went out to eat once or twice, you know, and we just had time, you know, we were. We were both sort of just needing to just both of us live alone and just needed some company. And Toya hadn't seen the house since I moved in last year, so it was just the first time that she was able to come out and we were able to kick it. And it was really everything that I needed and a little bit more.

[Jade]

I love that so much. You know, Community is so important. You know, how much we stress that and talk about that here on the show and because we actually believe it in real life. Shout out to Toya. I love Toya. I actually have to go pick up some skates from Toya. But it's so funny because. So my black woman self care is in the same vein of Community. So I had to go to la, I told you the other week for some work. And it was really nice because I got to spend some. Some good time with xd and we hadn't had our good, just like hangout time in a while. And then I got to spend some time with Antonio.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Nice.

[Jade]

And so I put Antonio on to pose. And so since I've been back, Antonio and I have been having our own little Netflix watch parties. I love it. And watching episodes of Pose Together or Netflix.

[Kia]

I love it.

[Jade]

You know, just like Antonio.

[Kia]

I'm gonna have to call him.

[Jade]

Yeah, call him and check up on him. He would love to hear from you. But we've been having some. Just our little Netflix watch. And we'll just watch like one little episode, you know, on a random evening where we have an hour free or we'll make an hour free. And it's, it's. It's been. It's just been really nice. So it's like even when your friends move away or they're not close or, you know, because of the times that we're living in, you may not want to hang out there's still ways to do it, and I just. I just think it's beautiful.

[Kia]

We need to have like a get and grow and watch party of something.

[Jade]

Oh, we can absolutely do that. I will set it up.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

What do you want to watch?

[Kia]

I don't know. We need to, like, find out. Like, I don't know, maybe that's a poll or something we could have.

[Jade]

Okay. Yes, we'll set it up. XD and I do do watch parties with our patre with our patrons. So we can do a get and grown watch party on senior. We'll set it up. Kia and I will host it and we'll be able to. All you have to do is have whatever streaming service that we choose the program from. But we'll give you all a poll, we'll make some choices and. Oh, my God, this is gonna be so much fun.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Okay. Yay.

[Kia]

Cause we love the TVs and the movies.

[Jade]

We do love the TVs and the movies. Okay, I'm down for it. It's happening soon. Make sure you all stay tuned. Shall we move along to our petty peeves?

[Kia]

Sure.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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[Jade]

And I want to be very responsible

[Kia]

of the things I say to my

[Jade]

sister because everybody know I can be real petty P e to the tty.

[Kia]

Honey, honey.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

Oh, it's time for.

[Jade]

For the petty peeves. Let's put our petty on parade. So I took Noah. So there's this. There's this little not exhibit. I don't know what you pop up. It's Pixar. Putt putt.

[Kia]

Oh, nice.

[Jade]

So I took Noah. So, you know, putt putt. All golf is 18 holes and each hole is a different theme of a Pixar movie. So they have a couple of, like, Toy story ones. They have a coco one where you have to, you know, do the ball on the, like, the guitar strings. They have a ratatouille one which is super cute. They have a cars like it is. It is the cutest thing. It's here in New York until October. So we took her down to that to go play putt putt. Trying to find as many, like, outside activities that we can do as possible that, you know, are not festivals. No shade. And so we go to do that or whatever. And, you know, you have to wait behind the group that's in front of you and putt, putt. Like, that's just standard. That's what you have to do. So patience is necessary. But it was two sets of. Everybody else is, like, rolling. Everybody else is moving as they should. You know, we're all flowing when you have to wait for the next one. We all kind of like finding our own space to stand in. But it was two particular families. It was one father and his child who decided that they were going to play in whatever order that they wanted to, and he would allow his child to come stand on whatever platform, whatever little exhibit it was. He would allow the child to come stand there while we were trying to play our rounds. And then it was another four set of four where they were just standing around anything anybody was doing. So I finally was like, okay, listen, personal space, six feet. You all are going to have to go get on the line and figure out which putt you supposed to be at, because y' all is hither and thither. Everybody else is moving in line, but y' all is here and there and everywhere else, just darting around like flies at the putt putt. So that's it. That's my petty peeve for the family. What y' all don't have? No. I don't know if it's a lack of consideration or just a lack of common sense. I can't figure out which one it is, but it's aggravating, and you need to get it together. That's it. Personal space.

[Kia]

Very important. Very important. So I had. Okay, so I ordered a pair of shoes. Oh. Oh, no, no. I have a. Well, I can give an update, so. Because I feel like I mentioned it on a show before. Did I mention that I ordered a mirror and it was delivered to me? It was broken. And so I followed the customer service protocol as outlined on their website and social media and spoke to someone and proceeded for the last three weeks to be sort of given the runaround on, like, when things were going to be processed and things like. And I felt like things had kind of reached a standstill because I contacted customer service a few days in a row and was told every day that I would hear someone the following day, but never got any emails or phone calls. And so I felt like I hit a wall with the customer service reps. And so I took to the Internet, I took to Twitter and sort of outlined what was going on. And then I learned that the company's Twitter Wasn't as active and. But they were much more present on Instagram. So I did an Instagram post and our community showed up, as you all do. I wasn't, you know, looking for any of you to do what you did, but, you know, this is how we respond, you know, when there isn't a matter an issue, you know, folks just sort of fall in line and you all, you know, proceeded to shut down the comments on, you know, their most recent posts. I mean, I mean, to the. To the extent that they turn comments off their last. Their last post, but it was the only thing that worked because I would say, like, you know, I put the post up Wednesday or Thursday night of last week and had a call on Friday from customer service, like, what do y' all need? What do you need me to do? And I'm like, well, what I asked you to do from the beginning. But thankfully, you know, we've reached the resolution. I have. I got my refund and someone's supposed to be coming to pick up this broken piece of furniture tomorrow. And so.

[Jade]

So they're not bringing you a new mirror?

[Kia]

No, because, I mean, they were saying, essentially they said that the mirror was. If I were to get a replacement, it would take another seven to 10 weeks. And so I didn't really have it in me to wait another two to three months for my mirror. I decided that I was going to take my coins and see if I could find myself some other options. Thankfully, I found what I believe is the exact same mirror on Wayfair. So, yes, hopefully that will be delivered in the next one to two weeks. But, you know, all's well that ends well. I think it's really unfortunate that we have to, you know, I have rally like that. You know what I'm saying? Like, I. I wish that we didn't have to, you know, take such a. I don't even feel like it was an extreme measure because all I did was post my experience and. But either way, yeah, but they had

[Jade]

to flood these with Z's and bees in order for them to. To say anything. That's a problem.

[Kia]

That's a problem. And what I found was most, most disheartening about this was the number of people who reached out to me, either via comments or even in the dm saying that they had had the same thing to happen to them with this particular company. And, you know, so I said that I was going to try, and I am still doing that, you know, to identify some individuals or some resources, some people who can come on the show and help us to see, to know, like, what are the steps that we can take? Because I recognize that, you know, I'm privileged to have the social media platform that I do have. I don't. I know I don't have, you know, millions of followers, but I do have a community of people who support me. And so you guys were able to help me, and for that, I'm really grateful. But I recognize that, you know, the average person may not have access to, you know, a couple thousand followers who can flood, you know, with comments and things. So what are some of the things that folks can do when they experience this. This kind of lack of customer service? You know, we. We work hard for our money. We. We. We invest in things that we want for ourselves. And it's unfortunate when, you know, and what I. What was fascinated me, and I kept saying this. I'm like, y' all keep telling me one to two days to process this or that. It didn't take y' all one or two days days to take my money when I place my order.

[Jade]

I know that's right.

[Kia]

It didn't take y' all one or two days to take that money. And so I don't understand why it's taking one to two days, 10 days, three weeks for y' all to. To get back to me about something that, you know, wasn't my fault. Like, y' all sent me something that was defective, and so that's not my fault. But, you know, that's neither here. They're there. Hopefully we'll have. Later in future weeks, we'll have. We'll be able to have a conversation at the kitchen table or some things that we can do to navigate issues like this, because unfortunately, it seems to be a common occurrence. That's not okay, and it's not good. But there's lots of people who are like, yeah, I ordered a bunch of furniture, didn't get it, or the. Or the furniture that I got was broken. And folks were saying, like, you know, they didn't respond to me until I filed a charge back with my bank or until I filed a claim with the Better Business Bureau. And I'm like, we shouldn't have to do all of that, you know, when we spend our money at these places. Well, yeah, that was going to be my, you know, if they didn't respond to the social media, then I was getting ready to hit PayPal up with the quick charge back, like, okay, so they ain't send me what they said.

[Jade]

And the Better Business Bureau with how you all are moving as an entity.

[Kia]

And so. So I do feel like this is something. Unfortunately, that happens quite a bit, and we shouldn't have to, you know, act like Karen in order to get some. Some things done.

[Jade]

No.

[Kia]

And so it's unfortunate that we have to contend with this kind of stuff, but, you know, since we do, we need to be informed about how best to do it, so.

[Jade]

I agree. Future kitchen table talk coming soon.

[Kia]

For sure. For sure, for sure. So, yeah, I was going to. That's kind of like an update on a former. Pretty petty peeves. So, yeah, we're moving on. We got it. We gotta resolve.

[Jade]

Amen. I love to hear it. Do you want to say your original petty peeve?

[Kia]

I was gonna just. I mean, it wasn't a big, big deal. I was gonna say that spending time with Toya was great. But one thing that, you know, we experienced. We went out to eat. And, you know, I understand that there is, in these restaurants, waitstaff. I understand if they're vaccinated and they no longer have to wear masks in some places, and I guess that that's fine if that's their policy. But I do feel like, given that, I still want the waitstaff to be mindful of personal space and those kinds of things, because we are still living in a time where we need to be distanced and make sure that we're prioritizing cleanliness and doing things to kind of avoid contamination. And so, you know, we had an experience with some waist staff who were very kind of handsy. Like, they were touching the table and touching stuff in ways I was like, y' all got to touch everything. Like, why would you. No, you don't. Why are we being so touchy, so close? And I recognize, you know, you being. You vaccinated, and y' all don't have to wear your mask and stuff in here. But, you know, I'm eating, so my face is out. And so I don't need you to be, you know, standing up over me, standing around me, super close to me, talking all crazy, you know, with your spittles and stuff flying all over my

[Jade]

place, which is really kind of disturbing, you know, right now. Like, we still got shit flying around in the air, and it's just not the time. The shit is just too early. I don't even.

[Kia]

I said, it's too soon.

[Jade]

It's too soon. It's too soon. But I agree with you, and I don't like it. Most of our wait staff is wearing masks for the most part, I feel like. But not all of the, like, employees and stuff. And I understand even, you know, with. With us being vaccinated, the vaccinations, all of that, it's just like, you don't see what's going on. Like, my sister's hospital is up 400%. 400. They are in a full red zone right now. You know what I'm saying? The shit is not gone. It's not back when the pandemic. It's no, nigga, we are in it

[Kia]

right now, still very much in it. Like, well, in it. Not on the way out, but in it.

[Jade]

He ain't saying nothing.

[Kia]

As the babies. As the babies go back to school, I just wonder, you know, I just feel like we have to be more vigilant. Not like, you know, cause things are. I feel like things will. Will probably get worse before they get better, but.

[Jade]

Yeah, no, you're absolutely right. So let us pray.

[Kia]

Yes, indeed.

[Jade]

All right. Let us pray. Well, that's another episode of getting grown, y'.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

All.

[Kia]

Yes, indeed. And we have really enjoyed our time with you at the kitchen table this week. We really look forward to this time, as Jay said earlier, to reconnect with each other and with all of you. So thank you for listening. Thank you for being a part of our family. And we'll talk to you next week. Until then, sis, tell them what they need to do.

[Jade]

Mind your. Oh, oh. Drink your water.

[Kia]

Yes. Okay. And.

[Jade]

Or you can eat your water.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Eatwater.com. come on.

[Kia]

For the double shout out.

[Jade]

Okay. It just came to me. Moisturize your insides, your outsides. Read some books. We had a whole kitchen table. Talk about literature, read some books. You know what I'm saying? Just get off the shade room and go do something else. Moisturize your mind. Moisturize your body. Your heels, your. In between your toes around those cuticles. They're dry right now.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

Hit them with some oil. And lastly, mind your black ass business. Why, sis?

[Kia]

Because your black will crack if it's in my business. Bye, y'.

[Jade]

All.

[Kia]

Take care.

[Narrator/Advertiser]

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