Gettin’ Grown – Chaos of My Parts (Feat. Michaela Angela Davis)

Host: Loud Speakers Network
Date: November 11, 2025

Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and empowering episode, hosts Jade and Kia welcome multi-hyphenate cultural icon Michaela Angela Davis to the Kitchen Table for a deep dive into her memoir, Tenderheaded. The episode, aptly titled "Chaos of My Parts," explores Black womanhood, intergenerational healing, identity, vulnerability, and the nuanced complexities—painful and beautiful—that shape the lives of Black women. Together, they share reflections on family, colorism, hair, ancestry, cultural memory, and the continued journey toward wholeness.

Main Themes

• The power and necessity of storytelling in Black communities
• The intricacies of Black girlhood, womanhood, and self-definition
• Healing intergenerational trauma and breaking the cycles of silence
• Colorism and the impact of white supremacy on intra-community relationships
• Creating wholeness from the "chaos" of lived experiences

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Intentionality of Tenderheaded and Naming

• Naming and Identity: Michaela discusses why her middle name, Angela, is lowercase, sharing her connection to Michelangelo and clarifying misconceptions linking her to Angela Davis (17:50).

  “I was named after Michelangelo… the plan was for me to be a boy... my mother was obsessed with Michelangelo... So it was, I love that I was the one that had, like, the different name.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [19:07]

• Specificity for Black Girls: Michaela states unequivocally that her book is for Black girls, inspired by Toni Morrison’s mantra that they “deserve the best from all of us, all the time.”

  “Every time, like, I bet it all. And while I didn't know exactly what I was going to write... I knew who I was going to write this for and to.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [22:08] “My goal was to really write honestly and well. I wanted something that you all would absorb, love, and be proud of.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [23:07]

• On Titling the Memoir:
  The use of the word "Tenderheaded" is deliberate, chosen for its specificity to Black girlhood and hair.

  “There are very few words that are just black girl words and that are cross generational… it just was so singular to us…”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [27:20]

2. The Chaos of My Parts & Writing Toward Wholeness

• Vulnerability and Wholeness:
  Jade resonates with Michaela’s phrase, “the chaos of my parts and to write myself into wholeness,” highlighting how embracing life’s messiness is essential to healing.

  “I have pink pog back and forth. And so to have it summed up in this beautiful way of the chaos of my parts, because those parts are still so important in making people whole.”
  — Jade [26:34]

• Anthology Structure:
  Michaela’s memoir is composed of individually powerful stories that collectively chart her journey; the tales are non-linear and can be accessed in any order.

  “...an anthology sort of organizational structure, where it's a compilation of beautifully written short stories.”
  — Kia [08:51]

3. Generational Trauma, Secrets, and Healing

• On Silence and Secrecy in Black Families:
  The panel discusses the lasting damage of family secrets, especially regarding vulnerability and "how to make a mistake."

  “A lot of this, why this adulthood and parenthood was so treacherous for me is not what people sold me. It's what people withheld from me. It was the secret.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [34:51] “One thing I wish that she taught me, that she never taught me was how to make a mistake... She tried to be so strong all the time..."
  — Kia [35:14]

• Generational Progress:
  Michaela notes the current generation is the first to interrogate feelings and pursue emotional well-being more openly.

  “We are the first generation to maybe stop and go, oh, wait, how do I feel about this? And how is this making me react?”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [36:43]

4. Family, Grandmothers, and Foundations

• Grandmothers as Anchors:
  Jade and Kia both deeply relate to how grandmothers’ love and care—time spent in the kitchen, having hair done, stories—are foundational to their sense of self.

  “I say all the time. My grandma was my first good, good girlfriend. For real.”
  — Kia [41:21]

5. Colorism, Identity, and Intra-Community Healing

• Nuance in Colorism:
  Michaela and the hosts decry the oversimplification of colorism conversations and stress the need for more precise language and mutual healing.

  “...to get out of that simplistic light skin, dark skin, medium... It makes our language so reductive. Right. So I was hoping to start to do that, but I choose us. But I also really, really want us to heal."
  — Michaela Angela Davis [54:44] “We can't heal if we don't [address it]. Like when that lady told me I was a waste of yellow...”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [55:38]

• “Teen Light Skin” on TikTok:
  Frustration that current generations are still fixated on intra-community color dynamics, even in digital spaces.

  “The fact that in 2020, 25, on TikTok, there's, like, Teen Light skin… what are we doing?”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [59:01]

• Root Cause: White Supremacy:
  Jade affirms her mother’s teachings about colorism and the ways white supremacy orchestrates intra-community divisions.

  “We often talk about how white supremacy is the larger issue in all of this... we've allowed them to infiltrate too much.”
  — Jade [59:33]

• Rachel Dolezal and the Fragility of Black Women's Public Identity:
  A lively discussion focusing on Michaela’s decision to address Rachel Dolezal on page one, using it as a lens on how easily Black women’s identities are appropriated and undermined.

  “How fragile is black women's identity in the public imagination? If this one. Nobody can just. With a decent weave...”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [63:24]

6. The Complexity of Black Girlhood & Womanhood

• On Black Women’s Multiplicity:
  Michaela reflects on the necessity of integrating the "club girl," "church girl," "child," and "writer"—embracing all parts for wholeness.

  “My club girl needs my church girl. And my church girl needs my club girl…”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [72:22]

• On Vulnerability and Public Honesty:
  Writing the memoir forced Michaela to let “little Michaela” tell the truth, letting go of "protecting mommy" and portraying all facets—beauty, brilliance, brokenness—simultaneously.

  “My mother was beautiful and brilliant and broken. And all those things exist at the same time.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [49:31] “I never, ever gave myself permission to be angry, to say what I really saw, and to let little Michaela have her say about what it was to grow up in that household.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [48:19]

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Black girls deserve the best from all of us, all the time, from everybody.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [23:07]

• “The chaos of my parts and to write myself into wholeness.”
  — Jade, referencing Michaela’s words [26:11]

• On cultural specificity:
  “Tenderheaded is something that's understood in the... Black American vernacular, it's almost only applied to black girls because we were the ones whose hair was gone through in that way.” — Michaela Angela Davis [27:20]

• On protecting ancestors’ wisdom:
  “I wouldn't finna try to be cute and surface with the ancestors watching. I literally felt like my grandmother was right there. Like, yes. So if she's done all this work to try to reach me, let me try to tell some truth.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [33:11]

• On representation and healing:
  “If we heal, the community heals, the country heals, the world heals, because that's what we bring, others along. And this notion of wanting cohesion in oneself is universal. But who has been made most complex because of history, policy, social imagination is black women.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [30:34]

• On food and the everyday rituals that connect us:
  “Okra is a superfood. And I pretend it's a sacred food because it wasn't... in North America before the Africans got here.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [67:18]

Key Timestamps

• [05:16] The memoir’s structure and intent: a conversation, not an interview
• [17:50] Naming conventions and correcting the Angela Davis confusion
• [22:08] Audience for the memoir: Black girls, always
• [27:20] Importance of "Tenderheaded" as a title and metaphor
• [34:51] Impact of withheld information on adulthood
• [41:21] The foundational role of grandmothers
• [54:44] Attempting to capture colorism's complexity
• [59:01] Modern colorism—TikTok and generational cycles
• [63:24] Rachel Dolezal, appropriation, and Black identity
• [72:22] Black women, integration of self, and embracing all facets

Tone & Takeaways

Throughout the episode, the tone is warm, sisterly, candid, and loving—true to the "kitchen table" ethos. There is a continuous celebration of vulnerability; the willingness to confront pain, and an insistent belief in Black women’s inherent dignity and healing power.

For listeners: If you are a Black woman, or you love a Black woman, this episode offers a space to feel seen and affirmed in your complexity. Michaela’s wisdom, Kia and Jade’s honesty, and their hilarious and moving exchanges, offer an indispensable lesson in loving—and integrating—every part of ourselves, together.

Suggested Next Listen

Jade, Kia, and Michaela Angela Davis hint at a second conversation in a future episode, promising more stories on navigating the peaks and valleys of career, family, and evolution.

For more, subscribe and stay tuned to Gettin’ Grown—where Black women’s stories are told with care, humor, and truth.