Chaos of my Parts ( Feat: Michaela angela Davis)

Summary

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Gettin’ Grown – Chaos of My Parts (Feat. Michaela Angela Davis)

Host: Loud Speakers Network
Date: November 11, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and empowering episode, hosts Jade and Kia welcome multi-hyphenate cultural icon Michaela Angela Davis to the Kitchen Table for a deep dive into her memoir, Tenderheaded. The episode, aptly titled "Chaos of My Parts," explores Black womanhood, intergenerational healing, identity, vulnerability, and the nuanced complexities—painful and beautiful—that shape the lives of Black women. Together, they share reflections on family, colorism, hair, ancestry, cultural memory, and the continued journey toward wholeness.

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Main Themes

• The power and necessity of storytelling in Black communities
• The intricacies of Black girlhood, womanhood, and self-definition
• Healing intergenerational trauma and breaking the cycles of silence
• Colorism and the impact of white supremacy on intra-community relationships
• Creating wholeness from the "chaos" of lived experiences

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Intentionality of Tenderheaded and Naming

• Naming and Identity: Michaela discusses why her middle name, Angela, is lowercase, sharing her connection to Michelangelo and clarifying misconceptions linking her to Angela Davis (17:50).

  “I was named after Michelangelo… the plan was for me to be a boy... my mother was obsessed with Michelangelo... So it was, I love that I was the one that had, like, the different name.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [19:07]

• Specificity for Black Girls: Michaela states unequivocally that her book is for Black girls, inspired by Toni Morrison’s mantra that they “deserve the best from all of us, all the time.”

  “Every time, like, I bet it all. And while I didn't know exactly what I was going to write... I knew who I was going to write this for and to.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [22:08] “My goal was to really write honestly and well. I wanted something that you all would absorb, love, and be proud of.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [23:07]

• On Titling the Memoir:
  The use of the word "Tenderheaded" is deliberate, chosen for its specificity to Black girlhood and hair.

  “There are very few words that are just black girl words and that are cross generational… it just was so singular to us…”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [27:20]

2. The Chaos of My Parts & Writing Toward Wholeness

• Vulnerability and Wholeness:
  Jade resonates with Michaela’s phrase, “the chaos of my parts and to write myself into wholeness,” highlighting how embracing life’s messiness is essential to healing.

  “I have pink pog back and forth. And so to have it summed up in this beautiful way of the chaos of my parts, because those parts are still so important in making people whole.”
  — Jade [26:34]

• Anthology Structure:
  Michaela’s memoir is composed of individually powerful stories that collectively chart her journey; the tales are non-linear and can be accessed in any order.

  “...an anthology sort of organizational structure, where it's a compilation of beautifully written short stories.”
  — Kia [08:51]

3. Generational Trauma, Secrets, and Healing

• On Silence and Secrecy in Black Families:
  The panel discusses the lasting damage of family secrets, especially regarding vulnerability and "how to make a mistake."

  “A lot of this, why this adulthood and parenthood was so treacherous for me is not what people sold me. It's what people withheld from me. It was the secret.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [34:51] “One thing I wish that she taught me, that she never taught me was how to make a mistake... She tried to be so strong all the time..."
  — Kia [35:14]

• Generational Progress:
  Michaela notes the current generation is the first to interrogate feelings and pursue emotional well-being more openly.

  “We are the first generation to maybe stop and go, oh, wait, how do I feel about this? And how is this making me react?”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [36:43]

4. Family, Grandmothers, and Foundations

• Grandmothers as Anchors:
  Jade and Kia both deeply relate to how grandmothers’ love and care—time spent in the kitchen, having hair done, stories—are foundational to their sense of self.

  “I say all the time. My grandma was my first good, good girlfriend. For real.”
  — Kia [41:21]

5. Colorism, Identity, and Intra-Community Healing

• Nuance in Colorism:
  Michaela and the hosts decry the oversimplification of colorism conversations and stress the need for more precise language and mutual healing.

  “...to get out of that simplistic light skin, dark skin, medium... It makes our language so reductive. Right. So I was hoping to start to do that, but I choose us. But I also really, really want us to heal."
  — Michaela Angela Davis [54:44] “We can't heal if we don't [address it]. Like when that lady told me I was a waste of yellow...”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [55:38]

• “Teen Light Skin” on TikTok:
  Frustration that current generations are still fixated on intra-community color dynamics, even in digital spaces.

  “The fact that in 2020, 25, on TikTok, there's, like, Teen Light skin… what are we doing?”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [59:01]

• Root Cause: White Supremacy:
  Jade affirms her mother’s teachings about colorism and the ways white supremacy orchestrates intra-community divisions.

  “We often talk about how white supremacy is the larger issue in all of this... we've allowed them to infiltrate too much.”
  — Jade [59:33]

• Rachel Dolezal and the Fragility of Black Women's Public Identity:
  A lively discussion focusing on Michaela’s decision to address Rachel Dolezal on page one, using it as a lens on how easily Black women’s identities are appropriated and undermined.

  “How fragile is black women's identity in the public imagination? If this one. Nobody can just. With a decent weave...”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [63:24]

6. The Complexity of Black Girlhood & Womanhood

• On Black Women’s Multiplicity:
  Michaela reflects on the necessity of integrating the "club girl," "church girl," "child," and "writer"—embracing all parts for wholeness.

  “My club girl needs my church girl. And my church girl needs my club girl…”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [72:22]

• On Vulnerability and Public Honesty:
  Writing the memoir forced Michaela to let “little Michaela” tell the truth, letting go of "protecting mommy" and portraying all facets—beauty, brilliance, brokenness—simultaneously.

  “My mother was beautiful and brilliant and broken. And all those things exist at the same time.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [49:31] “I never, ever gave myself permission to be angry, to say what I really saw, and to let little Michaela have her say about what it was to grow up in that household.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [48:19]

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• “Black girls deserve the best from all of us, all the time, from everybody.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [23:07]

• “The chaos of my parts and to write myself into wholeness.”
  — Jade, referencing Michaela’s words [26:11]

• On cultural specificity:
  “Tenderheaded is something that's understood in the... Black American vernacular, it's almost only applied to black girls because we were the ones whose hair was gone through in that way.” — Michaela Angela Davis [27:20]

• On protecting ancestors’ wisdom:
  “I wouldn't finna try to be cute and surface with the ancestors watching. I literally felt like my grandmother was right there. Like, yes. So if she's done all this work to try to reach me, let me try to tell some truth.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [33:11]

• On representation and healing:
  “If we heal, the community heals, the country heals, the world heals, because that's what we bring, others along. And this notion of wanting cohesion in oneself is universal. But who has been made most complex because of history, policy, social imagination is black women.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [30:34]

• On food and the everyday rituals that connect us:
  “Okra is a superfood. And I pretend it's a sacred food because it wasn't... in North America before the Africans got here.”
  — Michaela Angela Davis [67:18]

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Key Timestamps

• [05:16] The memoir’s structure and intent: a conversation, not an interview
• [17:50] Naming conventions and correcting the Angela Davis confusion
• [22:08] Audience for the memoir: Black girls, always
• [27:20] Importance of "Tenderheaded" as a title and metaphor
• [34:51] Impact of withheld information on adulthood
• [41:21] The foundational role of grandmothers
• [54:44] Attempting to capture colorism's complexity
• [59:01] Modern colorism—TikTok and generational cycles
• [63:24] Rachel Dolezal, appropriation, and Black identity
• [72:22] Black women, integration of self, and embracing all facets

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Tone & Takeaways

Throughout the episode, the tone is warm, sisterly, candid, and loving—true to the "kitchen table" ethos. There is a continuous celebration of vulnerability; the willingness to confront pain, and an insistent belief in Black women’s inherent dignity and healing power.

For listeners: If you are a Black woman, or you love a Black woman, this episode offers a space to feel seen and affirmed in your complexity. Michaela’s wisdom, Kia and Jade’s honesty, and their hilarious and moving exchanges, offer an indispensable lesson in loving—and integrating—every part of ourselves, together.

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Suggested Next Listen

Jade, Kia, and Michaela Angela Davis hint at a second conversation in a future episode, promising more stories on navigating the peaks and valleys of career, family, and evolution.

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For more, subscribe and stay tuned to Gettin’ Grown—where Black women’s stories are told with care, humor, and truth.

Transcript

[Michaela Angela Davis]

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[Jade]

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[Jade]

Don't touch my head when it's the feelings I don't touch my soul.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

When.

[Jade]

It'S the rhythm I know don't touch my crown this is the vision I found don't touch what's there when is the feelings I wear they don't understand where we chose to go where we been to know we don't understand where what it means to me where we chose to go where we've been to know Take it away, Kia.

[Kia]

I miss Solange. It makes me want to, like, dust off that album a little bit because I don't revisit as often as I should.

[Jade]

No, no. And you know what? Hear me out. Maybe this is my own because of my own lens. I'll explain to you in a second. A seat at the table and Come Home With Me. What was. That's. I think that's Cameron's album.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

What?

[Jade]

You know what's the other album? You. Is that Is Cameron?

[Kia]

No. I have to look it up. Anyway, you have confused me.

[Jade]

Gee whiz.

[Kia]

Are you crazy?

[Jade]

I always call it Come Home With Me.

[Kia]

And I think when I get home.

[Jade]

When I get home, you see, Same thing. But both of those albums are fall albums. Those are very true autumn, autumnal albums in, like, their fields.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know what I mean. Autumnal tunes.

[Kia]

Sweater weather. Yes.

[Jade]

Sweater weather, too.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

We're gonna do an episode on full Sweater Weather tunes. I'm putting that in my. Praise the Lord.

[Kia]

Hey, guys.

[Jade]

Yes. Yeah. You know, that song came for a very specific reason. This episode. This episode is sweater weather. It is. A warm hug is literally being swaddled in cashmere.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

In black cashmere.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

In. In Auntie Love. We're so excited because our kitchen table, you know, we've had some incredible guests, and it was an honor.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

A privilege to sit at the kitchen table with the giant that we did this week. You know who it is? Davis you looked at the title. It's fine. Like, I don't even know why it's such a treat. Such a treat. Like I said, it didn't feel like an interview. It felt like a conversation.

[Kia]

Yes. And with someone who knows me and who cares about me very deeply and, you know, I would love to sit at the feet of, you know, people who have lived full and comprehensive and impactful lives and just glean from all of their wisdom and experience. And, you know, Ms. Mikayla is just. I think she's, like, operating in a gifting in terms of her capacity to just be a storyteller and an artist and a creative. And I have always. We talked about how much we have valued and celebrated her work throughout our lives, but I feel like I have such a deeper respect for her after reading this memoir. And it. It is. It is such a rich and complex, messy, glorious story, Right?

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

Yeah, absolutely.

[Jade]

The title of this episode is based off of it was not the epilogue. She actually called it the Terms of Engagement, which I thought was really beautiful. So, Michaela, Angela Davis recently released a memoir titled Tenderheaded and so Key. And I had the privilege, like we said, to sit at the kitchen table and talk to her, which she's created such a safe space to have nuanced conversation that we need to have within our communities. You know, visibly, you all see, Kia and I, we are two opposite ends of the spectrum of blackness. You know, the complexity and the beauty and the variety that we come in as a people. The example of us not being a monolith physically, which comes with not being a monolith. Inexperience.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And oftentimes especially. Especially nowadays, having certain conversations, polarizing conversations, because people generally have conversations through their lens, which is necessary.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

We also don't always have the emotional nuance to discuss complex things because of how they trigger. Instead of really actually sitting down and listening and trying to understand the perspective that the other person is coming from.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Now, granted, that does not take away that from the fact that, you know, people have had some really problematic ideologies. I told you, I got an issue with, you know, light on light relationships, you know what I'm saying? Because I feel like they come from a weird place. And we know a lot of the viewpoints and the colorism that exists within our community especially are all, all, all the result of the culprit that is white supremacy. So I appreciated that she was. That she invited those who are reading the memoir to sit down and really just listen to her story and her Experience. And I felt like it was discussed from a healthy standpoint. You know what I mean?

[Kia]

Yeah, I. I agree with you. And I feel like the evolution of it, I think, you know, toward the end of the conversation when she was talking about how freeing and liberating and healing it was for her to give young Michaela a voice, I think we get the rawness and the reality of sort of being a young girl negotiating systemic issues of white supremacy and all of its byproducts, including something like colorism. Right. And so we hear a young girl sort of negotiating that. And all that comes with sort of, you know, dealing with the roller coaster that is identity development, you know, with that added layer of, you know, ick that is, you know, like, we all, as black women, have to swim through that. And I appreciate. So, you know, there may be some things in the book early on that you read that you might not really understand until you get to hear older, more evolved, more healed, Ms. Michaela, sort of reflect on that time. So it is. It is beautifully written in that, you know, it has this sort of, as you say, it's this, like, anthology sort of organizational structure, where it's a compilation of beautifully written short stories.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yeah.

[Kia]

In effect, you can sort of just randomly start at any one of them and. And get just as much as you would if you were to sort of read them in chronological order. But, you know, reading them in chronological.

[Jade]

Order sort of adds you more context.

[Kia]

It gives you more context around each of these individual stories and each of the. Each of the parts, the chaotic parts that come together to produce this whole person in the end, and this person is still evolving. And so, yeah, I feel like it was in the same ways that she talked about how. How healing it was to write. It was, to me, inspiring me as a reader and as someone who is often, we. We talk a lot here on Getting Grown about dealing with, you know, troubling and interrogating all of the different aspects of our development and who we are and the distance between who we are and who we want to be and the hard work of sort of closing that gap. So this was just. This felt like an exercise in all of that and just getting able to sit, again, like I said, to sit with someone who has done that work and has, you know, chronicled it for us to also benefit from in that. In that auntie kind of way. It was just. Yeah, it was the bike.

[Jade]

In the best of that way.

[Kia]

Yes, yes, yes, the best.

[Jade]

So please, you all sit and enjoy. Enjoy this conversation that we had with Ms. Michaela Angela Davis at the kitchen table.

[Kia]

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[Michaela Angela Davis]

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[Jade]

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[Kia]

Welcome back, everybody. Oh, my goodness. We are excited. We are always excited. We're blessed at getting grown to have so many wonderful, beautiful, amazing guests join us at the kitchen table week after week. But this, y', all, this is a special treat for Jade and I. We are honored and blessed to welcome Michaela Angela Davis to the kitchen table. Michaela Angela Davis, if you don't know, is a trailblazing cultural icon whose reputation precedes her. She built a storied career as a stylist, creative director, producer, and image activist focused on the intersection of gender, race, feminine, fashion, culture, beauty, and identity. We've seen her art on an array of icons, including the one, Ms. Diana Ross, Beyonce, Prince, Mary J. Blige, all of the girls. Ms. Davis was the founding fashion director at Vibe magazine, the editor in chief of Honey magazine, and served as the fashion, beauty, and culture editors at Essence magazine. Her new memoir, which we're here to discuss, Tenderheaded, is a love letter to the community of women she's dedicated her work to. And I feel like I'm a part of that group. Everybody join us in welcoming the brilliant and the amazing Ms. Michaela Angela Davis. Hey, Ms. McKayla.

[Jade]

I love you.

[Kia]

Oh, my goodness, y'.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

All, you gave me a very good Flatbush, you know.

[Jade]

Yeah, we had. We had to.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Jade]

We gotta get parkway on you for a hot second.

[Kia]

Always.

[Jade]

Yes, always. Oh, my goodness. Thank you so much. Welcome to the kitchen table. Thank you for coming to sit with us as you sit at a literal kitchen table. Beautiful.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes, yes.

[Kia]

I love it.

[Jade]

You see how spirit works, y'?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

All.

[Jade]

See how the breadcrumbs work. We're so honored to welcome you. And, you know, as we told you before the recording, we. We just. Your. Your. Your memoir, Tender Headed, which I. I cannot wait to get into, all of that really sits so deep in my bones for so many reasons. So many reasons. And we're just so grateful that you took time and space to come share it with us. I have to start off before we even get into the memoir by asking you, Ms. Michaela, why the use of the lowercase and a in angel with your name?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Oh, that's. Really. I didn't expect that to be the first. Well, most. And it's. It's. It's not connected to, like, Asada or, you know, but. Or that. What it. Why is. Because I was named after Michelangelo. And so, okay, in the hospital, they broke up my name to Michaela Angela instead of Michelangelo. And so I made it lowercase so it kind of looked like one name. But also, I had started to get. Or people were starting to get confused about.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And the Angela Davis. Either she was my mother, which was, wow, very pervasive. She would have had to been, like, 11 when she had me.

[Jade]

I was gonna say, you know, I Don't know if y' all know how calculators and time is.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Or that I am she.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Or that I was named after her. But I also the math. Like you're not named after 11 year old girl in Mississippi.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

So I did that to like also stop sort of that confusion.

[Jade]

Okay. Okay.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

But it was more about how my name was like Michelangelo with the original intention.

[Jade]

Because your parents traveled. Yes. And thought you were going to be a boy.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Correct.

[Jade]

Yeah, they had to improvise.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

My mother was obsessed with Michelangelo. They were, you know, my dad was military and so the plan was for me to be a boy and named Michelangelo. But I love that she made me Michaela. I love it because like back in the day, in the 70s, nobody was named Michaela. Now it's all kinds of me, Kayla. Like, you know, like you go to Starbucks and it's eight different kinds of Michaela spell.

[Jade]

Absolutely. My name is Jade and they've still figured out how to remix that. And that's four letters.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

The black. My lights are going in and out. You see that somebody, somebody has something to say.

[Kia]

So.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yeah, it was like. So it was. I love that I had, I was the one that had like the different name.

[Kia]

Names are so important for, for little black girls too.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Kia]

Especially connecting to culture, connecting to identity. You know, all of that wrapped up. I think it was such a gift to be able to, to read your book and share your stories, you know, getting grown. We, you know, we talk about adulting for real. And essentially the parts, the aspect of it is like, you know, you feel like you sort of sold some propaganda, you growing up around how life is going to be. And Jade and I have been negotiating and navigating the. We call it the ghettos of adulthood. It's the worst hood you've ever lived in.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Oh, my God, that's so funny.

[Jade]

I'm not going to laugh. Hoodie.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yeah.

[Kia]

But a part of that has been really walking through life, living out loud, doing sense, making being vulnerable, being honest, being transparent about our mistakes, about, you know, what we don't know about, you know, all of it. And I just, I really appreciated and valued the vulnerability of this book.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

It was like you're sitting down and talking to your, your, your, you know, Ms. McKayla from up the street. And she is, and she is, you know, just giving it to you straight. You know, the kind of stuff that your mama don't necessarily tell you, but, you know, you have your play aun and people in the neighborhood who sort of tell it like it is. And so it was just such a gift to read, but was just curious, like, when you decided to write it, like, did you have a specific audience or angle in mind? Like, what prompted you to take this journey?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes. Meaning the audience was you. This is. I mean, and I wanted the title to be explicit. Oh, this is for, like, listen, I put all my chips on black girls a while ago. Every time, like, I bet it all. And while I didn't know exactly what I was going to write, how I was going to write, I knew who I was going to write this for and to. And, you know, I really do follow the teachings of Toni Morrison. And I read in the Bluest Eye every once in a while. Like, every five, six years, I'll pick it up. And I don't. I don't reread a lot because I'm slightly dyslexic and. And it's hard for me to read. It takes a while. And when I reread the Bluest Eye and the last one I read, it had a new, like, opening or intro. And she basically was saying that her goal was to write with the excellence that black girls deserved and that I took as an assignment. And so, because I think. And this has become my mantra throughout this process, Black girls deserve the best from all of us, all the time, from everybody. And so my goal was to really write honestly and well. I wanted something that you all would absorb, love, and be proud of. Like, that she's writing about us in this way. Like writing with craft, with intention, with attention to detail. I wanted the language to be lush for you. For you, for you.

[Kia]

Yes, I feel it. You paint such beautiful images like you paint the picture. I feel like I'm walking down that dirty street in the Village. I feel like I'm at the 9:30 club with you.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Kia]

I feel like, you know, I was.

[Jade]

In your grandmother's house because your grandmother's house was. Was my.

[Kia]

Was my house with the.

[Jade]

The musty cardboard boxes.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

And my grandfather was a country. He laid asphalt. And my grandmother was addicted to the Home Shopping Network. So.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And they loved. So, you know, you being there, your naps, all of those things resonated so deeply to your point of your audience and who you're writing to. One of the things in the very beginning that really pulled me and made me feel seen and knew this book was for me outside of just the title alone, because like you said, that's very specific, and we'll get to that. But you were petitioning to the Audience essentially to give grace when reading this book because I feel like in these, in these times, I'm not, you know, I don't want to go as far as cancel culture, but people are so quick to form opinions hyper critical. They. They don't allow the stories to just be told without, you know, the, the. The overwhelming sound of opinions and so forth and so on. So I loved this. Like, just sit down and listen to my story as it is told. This is my experience. The memory gets slippery.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Jade]

But what really, what really pulled me in and made me feel seen was when you said the chaos of my parts and to write myself into wholeness. Those really, really made me feel seen, especially as I have had a. A foosball of a trajectory of life.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying? I have pink pog back and forth. And so to have it summed up in this beautiful way of the chaos of my parts, because those parts are still so important in making people whole. Yes, that really, really spoke to me. And so, you know, you. You did, you did your good work. You reached the audience you were looking for. Let's start with the title Tender Headed you had. There's so many cultural references you could have gone with. To still make us feel seen in the. In. In the book is not innately about hair, but obviously that starts to paint a picture of the story. Talk to us about the choosing of Tenderheaded as the final title of the memoir.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Well, you know, there are very few words that are just black girl words and that are cross generational.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And though, you know, Tenderheaded is something that's understood in the like, particularly the black American vernacular, it's almost only applied to black girls because we were the ones whose hair was gone through in that way. And so it just was so singular to us that I thought this was the word that only we kind of know and use. Just like, you know, I wear the solid gold hot comb that's now got natural De Beers chocolate diamonds in it.

[Kia]

Oh, I know, right? I love that.

[Jade]

I'm learning.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I did a collaboration with Lorraine west, the black fine dream designer, and De Beerus came in and gave us a little treat. But because that's also a tool, an object that's almost exclusively owned by black women and girls. And we have such few spaces and things that are just ours that I wanted to pull them out. And so it didn't have to be as explicit, even though this was so important in its time. But like when Zake wrote for colored girls who considered you Know, like it was so unambiguous. I wanted that same impact.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

With a word. Yeah. Because hair has been such a metaphor and theme in my work over the last, I would say 15 years that it made sense that it was a hair related word. And my editor was like, there is no other title.

[Kia]

No, no, no. We just works for so many reasons. Yes, yes. Yeah, it works for so many reasons. I feel like it captures the attention. I heard you on the podcast interview recently where you were talking about how, you know, even the, like it literally, there's. There's this coexistence of sort of pain and satisfaction. This like, you know, just being black, like that just comes with the territory. It's a full bodied, multi sensory, multi dimensional experience.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Kia]

And like you said, it's exclusive to us. It does not need any qualification. When you say the word tender headed, if you don't get it, you don't get it. It's not for you.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

You know, but. But you know, you can get on Google and find out and find out more about us. Right. Because it's also, I contend that black women hold so much of humanity in our existence. And so if we heal, the community heals, the country heals, the world heals, because that's what we bring others along. And this notion of wanting, cohesion in oneself is universal. But who has been made most complex because of history, policy, social imagination is black women. We are very complex and our identities have been fractured. And if we can't, if you can understand us, then understanding your little self, you know.

[Jade]

Because.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

You can stop crying.

[Jade]

Karen, because, you know, you ain't even.

[Kia]

Been through nothing for real. But God bless you.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Use this as an example. You know, if, like, if she can get through this, then I can get through my little. She talked to me bad at work. Hello. So I hope that by giving it to black girls first, it finds its way into humanity. And I mean, again, she's my North Star. That's what Morrison did. That's what, you know, Angelou did. Like they were. They were clearly not talking to white folks or not writing in a way that they hope. Right. Folks understood. They just wrote with excellence, excellence.

[Jade]

But they were writing to us and.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

About us so specifically and so well that, you know, that's the goal. Like. Yeah. Specific and well, and then it becomes universal. Right. But make no mistake, I'm not trying to make. Because then you don't tell the truth. And I was very interested, you know, kind of back to an original question. I want we deserve the truth and at this point in my life, there was nothing else to do. It's a lot of work to write and write a book, so if I'm gonna do this, I'm gonna tell the truth. And also that, that idea of, like, the ancestors, like, pulling and working with me, I wouldn't, I wouldn't finna try to be cute and surface with the ancestors watching. I literally felt like my grandmother was right there. Like, yes. So if she's done all this work to try to reach me, let me try to tell some truth. And I felt like they, that generation didn't have a voice, and so I was trying to give them some of that. Right. Like, yeah. Not why is Aunt Eva crazy, but what happened to her.

[Kia]

Right.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Because a lot of this, why this adulthood and parenthood was so treacherous for me is not what people sold me. It's what people withheld from me.

[Kia]

You said something right there.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

It was the secret.

[Kia]

Yes, yes. We talked about. Yeah, we had an episode where we sort of unpacked our relationships with our moms, and that made me think, you know, girl, exactly. We need to revisit. But, but, you know, I, I, we talked about that, and I remember we had a conversation about, like, you know, my mom taught me how to do things. She taught me how to do a lot of things, and she was very, very insistent on, on doing things right the right way and things being done in a certain way. But one thing I wish that she taught me, that she never taught me was how to make a mistake. I think, like, you know, that vulnerability, the secrets, you know, I knew that she was struggling because I saw her struggle. But she tried to be so strong all the time that, you know, I struggled to open up and be transparent because I didn't have models for that. And that's what, like, to your point, like, you know, I felt like she kept that part of herself from me, and that's what made it hard for the both of us, honestly.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yeah. I think this is the first generation that's really trying to get at it.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Because they, you know, what happened, whatever happened to them, happened to them. And each generation was coming from such unspeakable horror, and they made it through. They couldn't unpack that stuff because if they opened it up, it might, it might take them out. And they're trying to get you to school, get you to, like.

[Kia]

Yeah, the operations of it all.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yeah, the operations.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

We are the first generation to maybe stop and go, oh, wait, how do I feel about this? And how is this making Me react. And how has this altered my sensibilities? You know, I, I feel like I'm the first to do it. Even though my parents went to therapy, which was breakthrough in the 70s.

[Jade]

Wow.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Oh, my God. I remember my Debbie Chandler was like, they do what? They went where?

[Jade]

Right. I was like, can you talk to us about this? Because there was a lot going on in your 70s. Yeah. I mean, rightfully so.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

It didn't stick. But I mean, they didn't stay. But. No, but they. I, we, like, I was aware. Oh, I think it was Thursdays, Mommy and daddy are going to therapy. So they were trying.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

For a black family to go to therapy in the 70s.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Is incredible.

[Kia]

Huge.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

They were very progressive for their time. My father was brilliant. He was also mentally ill. Yeah. You know, he was. Yeah, he was genius. And like a rage. Like. I mean, he was. Yeah, I guess he was towards the ends. He was literally diagnosed with bipolar disorder.

[Jade]

But okay.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

When you grow up, it's just, oh, daddy's like wild, you know, and mommy's pathetic. Well, she was pathetic inside of his wildness.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And it wasn't all wild and it wasn't all pathetic. You know, brilliant and fun and funny and music.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Beautiful and dangerous.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And unpredictable. Like every day you came home, you know what, Once you have it.

[Jade]

Okay. Okay.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

We did a lot of self raising and self protection as kids and you know, and those friendships, you know, make like that's why Debbie Chandler plays so prominent.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And her family was a little more country. Like they're from West Point, Mississippi. They went home every summer. Her grandmother lived with them. They cooked like my grandparents. So I spent a lot of time at her house because it was really familiar. It was country. You know, my, my house is kind of black bohemian. It was wild.

[Jade]

So I went over grounding. Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

It gave me grounding. My house gave me stability, creativity. But like I was. I'll go over there, you know, and eat greens and biscuits and be like, you know.

[Jade]

Yeah, absolutely. Especially with your relationship with your grandmother. I can imagine that. That you really needed those moments of comfort and nostalgia. And her and that environment was really important.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

But it was critical to, I think why I wasn't more neurotic and damaged than I was those first five years of being in their care was just comfort and safety. And the metaphor of her spending these hours in my hair was care hours that my parents didn't have.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Hours in the kitchen watching her fried chicken, watching her cut up okra, watching her make biscuits, put A jelly jar. Like, you know, with the jelly jar.

[Kia]

With the jelly jar.

[Jade]

Circles.

[Kia]

Turn it. You gotta turn. Yeah, we all had. Yeah, we all had the same grandma. And as you were talking, I could literally smell the Dixie peach. I could feel the fingers on my scalp. You know what I'm saying?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

But you.

[Kia]

Yeah, that's why I said you so. Exactly. You talked about it in a way that took me back there.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And I could feel my grandmother. Like, we talked about how she used to part it from the middle and go all the way down. I remembered it. It was just. And it felt like it was what I needed. We were talking before we started recording about grandmas. Me and Jay both had, like you, like. Our relationships with our grandmother were so foundational. They were fundamental to who we are. I say all the time. My grandma was my first good, good girlfriend. For real. Like, I hung out with her. You know what I'm saying? In the kitchen, in her space. I watched her. And she, like you said, had time that my mom didn't have.

[Jade]

That's right.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

That's right.

[Kia]

She had time that my mom didn't have.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

That smell of Dixie peach is still one of my favorite.

[Kia]

Like, I mean, it never goes away. It never leaves you. Like, it's like one of those things, you know. Exactly. And if you know, you know. But, yes, that you. You can smell it. You know the moment when you sink into that hotel bed and think, huh, why doesn't my bed feel like this at the house? Well, that's what you can expect with Lisa, my legend chill hybrid mattress, Honey, which has come in so much handy, very much clutch right now, given the season of life I find myself in, it feels like five star sleep every single night. But in the comfort of my own home, set mine up in my guest room, honey. The guests have been luxuriating and loving it. Lisa has a lineup of beautifully crafted mattresses tailored to how you sleep without the luxury price tag. Each mattress is designed with specific sleep positions and feel preferences in mind. From night one, you'll feel the difference. Premium materials that deliver serious comfort and full body support, no matter how you sleep. Leesa mattresses are meticulously designed and assembled in the USA for exceptional quality. Plus they back it all up with free shipping, easy returns and 100 night sleep trial. Lisa has been tested and awarded best hybrid mattress by New York Times Wirecutter and is exclusively featured by West Elm as their go to mattress partner. Leesa isn't just about sleep. It's about impact. They donate thousands of mattresses each year to those in need. We while also partnering with organizations like Clean Hub to help remove harmful plastic waste from our oceans. You know we love that. Go to Lisa.com for $50 off plus get an extra $50 off with promo code grown exclusive for our listeners. That's Lea.com promo code grown for $50 off plus an extra $50 off. Be sure to enter our show name after checkout so that they know we sent you. That's Lisa.com promo code grown.

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[Michaela Angela Davis]

Limu is that guy with the binoculars watching us.

[Commercial Announcer]

Cut the camera.

[Jade]

They see us.

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[Jade]

What I really loved too, you talked about how you wanted to honor your family, honor your ancestors while also telling the truth. And I feel like you did a beautiful job of that. You were so transparent to the point where we knew each one of them based off of the very specific, specific story you told. And it was also really apparent that you were fiercely protective of your mother while also acknowledging what your brother's death did to her and the shift of that. You were very honest in acknowledging how brilliant she was. You just spoke to us about how brilliant your father. But you, you did, you were not hesitant to let us know how brilliant your mother was and all of the opportunities that she had ahead of her before, before she went to become an army wife. And I just wanted to get your viewpoint and conversation on like the juxtaposition of, of who she was as a person and all of the experiences you had. Because like I said, it was evident that you were fiercely protective but also you honored the truth of her humanity and the downfalls of that. Was there ever any resentment that was there or how, what was your experience like in that wide pendulum swing?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Well, you know, I just recently got to the place where I wasn't in Protect mommy mode. And I am. I'm not getting grown. I am grown.

[Kia]

I know that's right.

[Jade]

Respect.

[Kia]

I know that's right.

[Jade]

So.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

So I just want y' all to know that this is a real journey that could take a while, because as I laid out, if your most stable parent is an alcoholic, of course you're going to protect her, and you're also going to want to make her as stable as possible so that your existence makes. Has some stability itself. So I was on that for a long time until I really started to do some therapy and also started. I've been doing therapy for a while, but really, this book.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Because I'm like. While everyone else is. You know, their humanity is coming through, my mother's was. It was important for me to do that with her, too, particularly because she's had such a transformation. If there was no healing, if there was still turmoil, I probably wouldn't have written about her or about. Because there's still some relationships and family that I just don't go and touch in this book because they're not resolved.

[Jade]

Yeah. That's fair.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And there's no. There's no service in just bringing up what the drama is or what the trauma is, because if there's no. If there's no service to y' all or to humanity or the reader, I didn't want to include it in the book. I had to get it out of my body. I wrote a lot of stuff that didn't make it into the book. I can imagine, because I'm, you know, you're excavating. But that was really critical, and it was difficult to say what it was. And that's why little Michaela, you know, the child, the first narrator, was such a breakthrough, because I never, ever gave myself permission to be angry, to say what I really saw, and to let little Michaela have her say about what it was to grow up in that household. And my mother was beautiful and brilliant and broken.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And all those things exist at the same time.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

At the same.

[Kia]

At the same time.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And I just was only able to talk about the beautiful, brilliant part. So. Yeah, that was liberating. Like, really, really.

[Jade]

Yeah. What was really beautiful about it, too, was that it didn't come across angry. It didn't come across judgmental. It just came across as your experience, and it came across so honest. And that's what I really. You know, there's so. There's so much complication in relationship in general, just in human dynamics. And, you know, there's something that can be so beautiful, but also so complicated about the black mother and daughter experience, especially depending upon the life circumstances, circumstances, etc.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And my mother is really illegibly black, especially now that she's older. Her hair has gone very straight and it's thin and like. And she's lived a lot of her life in white spaces.

[Jade]

Yeah. Because that'll. That'll shape your opinion.

[Kia]

And she doesn't outlook.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

She doesn't actively try to pass. Right. That's not her thing. But by sheer virtue of her appearance, she does. And her whole professional life, her second husband was white and Irish, you know, and then, you know, when we started living together during COVID and George Floyd happened, she had like, a trauma response to living through, like, Jim Crow. And she got very black again.

[Kia]

I know that's right.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And I thought about a lot of elders who had lived through Jim Crow, what George Floyd, Trayvon, like, what all that was doing to them.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

One of my older aunties, when Trump was first elected, she was so full of fear because now I can't remember, there was a member of his early administration that was a known Klan member. And my aunt was like, her biggest fear was, like, the Klan was going to get in the White House because she was old enough to remember when they were an actual political party.

[Jade]

Yep.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And once he got in there, I can't. I can't remember his name. She was. She didn't want to leave the house. House because they, you know, they had lived through apartheid in the south, and then now they're in the White House. So I was. It made me, like, have a lot of compassion for that generation and for my mother and also, like, really so much of her life. I think so many people just read her as a white woman.

[Kia]

I think one of the gifts of the book for me, I mean, you know, I think you. There's a lot of complexity to the colorism conversation.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Correct.

[Kia]

And the narrative today is so oversimplified and it lacks like, the nuance and complexity. But I think, you know, it was really helpful to sort of get to know when you were talking about your grandparents and your aunts and uncles and, you know, you know, their appearance and the different ways in which they live their lives and, you know, all how that, you know, all of that informed your experience as a child and share. Shaped, you know, I think your decision making. I. I was very moved and I mean, thinking about it, because I think. I think it's so beautiful to hear you say that you picked black girls a long time ago. That's evident, you know, in your work, throughout your work. But I also feel like, you know, the book also highlights the ways in which we are. We've been mean to each other and critic and nasty and we attack each other, other. And you know what that has been like for, you know, what, what that experience is. And I just love that even with that, you still choose us. You know what I'm saying?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I'mma turn on the light for this.

[Jade]

Hold on, hold on. Yes. She's like, it's time to talk.

[Kia]

That's it. Let's get into it.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes, yes, let's get into it.

[Jade]

Because, yeah, it is very complex.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes. And that's also part of why I wanted to write with more detail and like how I, how I want to describe complexions with more detail. Right. Was to get out of that simplistic light skin, dark skin, medium.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Because that is so inseparable, efficient. It makes our language so reductive. Right. So I was hoping to start to do that, but I choose us. But I also really, really want us to heal.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Like, for real.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And we can't heal. And if we don't.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Like when that lady told me I was a waste of yellow, I was.

[Kia]

Like, wait, down to the Soul scissors, down to the.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I'm like, I had to.

[Jade]

Because you had a short haircut and a.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

What does that mean?

[Jade]

But that's not, that's no different than somebody saying, don't chop all that pretty hair off. Or, you know, and obviously are, you.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Know, you're pretty for a dark skinned girl.

[Jade]

Like, you're pretty for a dark skinned girl. You know, all of the red bone, yellow bone commentary really triggered me to.

[Kia]

Hear especially I remember when you, when you went to get your first haircut at the, at the soul scissors and the way that, oh, Jade's back. The, just the way that the, the people were looking at you. You had to get permission, all of the things. Right. I think there's so much wrapped up in that. And I was a little girl. I was 13, 13 years old.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

But I think it was important to share what that, you know, what that was like, what, what that was like and what we can be doing to each other. And let's talk about, like, let's get at it. And let's get at it. The intention of love and healing on the other side.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Because.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I mean, there was a time when I was doing these series of talks with Dr. Yabba Blay about so do I. So we.

[Jade]

She's Been to the kitchen table.

[Kia]

Y a friend.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

So we had done, like, this series of talks, and I remember opening it up by saying, you know, when I was younger at Tacoma, and at one time, these girls from Nigeria or students from Nigeria had come to our neighborhood, come to our school, and I remember they had, you know, the wire wrapping of their hair, and it was like. Like, made into these different shapes of, like, crowns. And I love them, but most of the kids make fun of them, and they called them African booty scratchers. And I never came to their defense, even though I loved their hair. And I apologized. I didn't know how. I didn't know how to. To at that age, but I knew inside it was wrong.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

As a little girl, like, watching this, I'm like, this ain't right. Just, like, scramble. I thought that was terrible.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Making the poor kids, like, literally on their hands and knees to get. Literally.

[Jade]

Yeah. It's degrading.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

But you don't have the language as a child to say, yeah, you know, just give them some candy.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Literally, like, what are you doing?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

If you guys.

[Kia]

What are we doing?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

What are we doing?

[Jade]

And so I also. And it feels like we can reach for you.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yeah. I feel like we can reach back in our past and heal it. And I really feel we can actively heal our ancestors by doing this work. But we have to talk about it, like, what we did, what we continue to do. I mean, the fact that in 2020, 25, on tick tock, there's, like, Teen Light skin. Like, what it. What. Come on. You know, like, what are we doing?

[Jade]

I've told Kia a few times. I'm really grateful for the mother that I had. My mother. My mother taught me about colorism early, where she let me know the ways in which the world will view you and how that is not right. So don't allow that to go to your head when the world treats you a different way. And then we often talk about how white supremacy is the larger issue in all of this. And so I fully agree with you. And. And where the healing of ourselves needs to come in, in the sense of how we reject and really acknowledge that white supremacy is the ultimate culprit here in creating these dynamics within our community. And we've allowed them to infiltrate too much.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

But that's why it was important to put that history in there. Do you know what I mean? Like, to say, yes, here was. Here was the propaganda. Here was the policy. Here were the government practices that divided people along color lines. Like, black women are just neurotic Right. And jealous. And treat each other.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And systematic. And so by design or systemic. So I wanted to have the history help give us context for why and how we came to this place.

[Jade]

Yes, very much so. And you did. And you. You spoke for me specifically as. As. As a pale being. I am. You and have been. You know, I've been made fun of by my cousin. You know, it's all in. You know, they'd be like, ah, Jaden Paige. They Guatemalan. You know, the other they. They love just saying. You know what I'm saying? But you really spoke for me. So when. When Rachel Dolezal on the scene.

[Kia]

I love that you started the book. Like.

[Jade]

I love that we got right to it.

[Kia]

Let's get right to it.

[Jade]

That weird white.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Get right to it.

[Jade]

So when you wrote that it. As the very first chapter out the gate at that. It really spoke to me because, you know, she was, you know. You know, the jokes were flying when she. I don't even know what do we. When she slithered out and made herself known to us as the like. Because you spoke on every single aspect of everything that worked my nerves from. From her using her whiteness when it was convenient and suing Howard University to the cosplaying of how. Cuz she studied how to Figure out how to.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

She studied how to.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying? And I had to face the ramifications from different friends and family members for what this decided to do in public. Public. And I don't like it. So I just want to thank you.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Jade]

For that viewpoint you spoke. For those of me. It was.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

It was so disturbing. I was. I was in a rage and fear. Which I, you know, kind of explained why.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And the biggest part was no one came to our defense.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And they allowed this one crazy white lady. All this space, all this room. All this. All this, like, free, like, attention platform.

[Kia]

All of it.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Everything. And it won one crazy white lady. Okay. Got.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Scores of black intellectuals flying onto television to defend our actual identity. And that's why I opened with like, how fragile is black women's identity in the public imagination? If this one. Nobody can just. With a decent weave. Because it was.

[Jade]

Well, that was. That's also what was irritating. And the girls were like, I'd get my knotless. I get my box braids because she know where she is.

[Kia]

Period.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

But I'm like, y' all didn't look for no hairline. It just starts. That's a clue.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

There was indicators. There were signs talked about it, but.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Nobody looked for our details, and that's what was so. And I know she was looking at. I know she was looking at me. She was looking at Melissa.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Like a nose ring. This kind of crew, this kind of micrograde. Yep, I knew she was.

[Jade]

And so she was studying. She was studying.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And so it was like. It was like I was back on the playground. Like, I'm defending black girls again, but I didn't get a chance to swing. I'm like, I'm gonna swing with my pen.

[Kia]

I loved it because. Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

That weird.

[Kia]

In that order.

[Jade]

She's like. Like, if y'. All. If you can read it in the book, but I want to make sure that you hear my voice. I love that.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

At first, I was like, a little like, oh, my God, what is Susan Taylor gonna think? What my mentor? Like, Cuz I. You know, like I said, I never allow myself to be angry in public or whatever. And I was like, yeah, n. Yeah, I'm gonna come out swinging. And then I have to go, like, with the narrative, right?

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah. And then it gives her. Then you want to give her no room to play victim, because then that's gonna piss me off even more. Like, you said, you. You did it in the best way by calling her out and all of the ways that it was harmful and dangerous.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

To multiple groups of people. But again, namely us first.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Because you have appropriated off of our. Our. But I. I love the spin on it. I love how you wrapped that up with. Our ancestors are ours, because you can do all the. You can. You can do Halloween spirit, or you can do all the things you want to do. You go to city. You can buy all the wigs in the. In the yaki.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

You said fun city. Yes.

[Jade]

But you don't get. You don't get to have our ancestors, and that is just a power. That is a spiritual power that. That is ours to hold. So thank you for the way that you call. Call things out, for how they need to be called up, but also how you're able to bring them home and. And bring them back to us and boomerang them back to where it's like, no, but this is ours. And I also want to say, you deeply res. You. We connected because we have the same favorite food. My favorite okra, tomatoes, and corn.

[Kia]

And corn.

[Jade]

I got through my pregnancy because I didn't have any money.

[Kia]

My grandma.

[Jade]

Yeah. Sometimes a little chicken, sometimes a little sausage.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying? Just a little onion.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Oh, my God.

[Kia]

So okra, tomatoes, and corn.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

So I did a conversation in Atlanta with Charles Blow, and he said the same. I'm like, this is a uniting factor, because okra is a superfood. And I pretend it's a sacred food because it wasn't. It wasn't in the North America before the Africans got here.

[Jade]

Right.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

So, like, the rice, they got. They got okra here.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

For a reason.

[Jade]

Absolutely, yes. And it's why it continues to connect us diasporically. I'm a chef, so. Oh, you are studying.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

So studying how food is one of your.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

One of your dishes.

[Jade]

Is one of my dishes at the house. Like, it is one of my go to's, hands down. Now, I have been throwing some phenomenal dinner parties. And I will say that my gumbo. I'm just saying, yes, give me a ring. I will cook for you any day. Don't play with me. And I'm crashing the party.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I don't mess with okra. Like, if you say you fixing some okra, I'm there.

[Jade]

Okay. All right. So we're gonna eat some okra together with some fish and some corn. And so, yeah, we're gonna eat a meal and I'mma. And it's gonna feel like it should feel to you. Absolutely. The way that this book made us feel spiritually, the way this book made us feel as black women, as black girls. Because I love how you. You made every part of me that has existed so far, and I've got life to go ago, but you've made every part of me that has existed feel seen. We just, we talked a lot about the child. The alcoholic, too. The messiness of the alcoholic. I know we have to wrap up here in a moment, but I. Out the gate as you spoke about the story of. Of hitting. Hit. Hitting bottom in a way, you know what I mean? When you got arrested and having to call your mother and your stepfather being able to step in and how he was able to help you, and also the ways that it affect you in your motherhood. I just appreciated the vulnerability because while I, I, it. It hasn't gotten that messy for me, and motherhood has gotten that messy for me in life in general. And so to have somebody that you respect so much.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Really say, let me just put it all out there. And I. And you're. And you're such a visual writer too, because. Because when you went to the club, we saw it dancing on the table. On the table, and you're screaming about Chuck Brown and beating your feet. I instantly was taken back to a Place of BCB and Tyb and go. But I saw the whole picture. I saw you in your messiness, and I made me love you more. More for really getting to the nitties of that. Because that's something that we don't always do as a people either. We spoke earlier about secrets. My nana, who I love so much, would never let us see us without her wig.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

She would never let it. So I love.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Be that you're letting us see you without your wig. You know what I mean? Like, thank you for that.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And some of my friends were, like, really gagging because they were like, you know, we thought you were, like, the coolest, most responsible mom and. But what it also speaks to is this complexity of black women's identity and how we are able to compartmentalize.

[Jade]

Yep.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

We can show up at the club one way. We can show up at church one way. We can show up for our parents one way. And.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Then we can go home and fall all the way apart.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And so it kind of circles back to that first goal that I spoke of, that this is about trying to find cohesion. And it's not so that those. That church girl, that messy girl, that girl, that East Okra and talks to the ancestors that they live in harmony and not, like, hide from each other. And so that's really what. This. Why I share that, too, is because I want to acknowledge that all of us have all these parts, and. And we don't. We've been so taught to keep them separate. And some of them get anemic, and some of them get really sick, and some of them get really distorted because they're not in community with each other.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

My club girl needs my church girl.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And my church girl needs my club girl because.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Because the church girl can get too far and lose herself in some scripture that don't mean nothing to her.

[Jade]

Right.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Do you know what I mean?

[Jade]

And they need the child, and they need the writer. They, like, all of those parts have to work together.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And as black women, because we have so many different parts, we are precious.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

We're jewels. We're faceted. But we don't have to be, like, shattered. We can just be faceted. And.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

And through those facets come the beautiful light. But it, you know, takes work and courage to kind of just.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Okay, here it is. Like, I was arrested. I was on the floor of the first Precinct.

[Jade]

You know, and you painted that picture, too.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Going around the next day smelling like snot and bust and everything. Like, you really let us know. You really got to the, to the dirt, to the down and dirty of it.

[Kia]

Thank you for that.

[Jade]

But we need that.

[Kia]

We appreciate you so much. I know that, you know, like you said, we have to wrap up. This has been such a joy. I feel like we haven't even gotten to, you know, wanted to talk about, like, you know, your, Your career, you know, negotiating. We get to start.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

We can do part two. We're gonna hold you to it because I know there's. There's a big not reveal, but I share something in the epilogue that is kind of like the beginning of a kind of new part of my journey that I would love to talk to y' all about if you're. Let's do this.

[Kia]

Oh, that's so good. I'm so happy that you said that. I'm thrilled. Thank you. We're gonna have you back. But just from our hearts, we couldn't be more grateful for you spending time with us and for sharing yourself with us in this way. You know, I feel so special when you said that you wrote this for me.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

You are special.

[Kia]

And y', all, when I, When I, when we first were getting ready to record Ms. Michaela, me and Jade told her how we were, you know, native New York black girls growing up and coming of age during the time where she was, you know, at Honey and Essence and Vibe and just like that extra cool black lady, always with the. I mean, always pumping up in pumps and just looking amazing all the time.

[Jade]

Susan Taylor, bestie. Like, I was like, it's all the black girls. I love it.

[Kia]

I said, I said, you know, the 15 year old girl in me is standing right now. Do you know what she said? Ms. Michaela said, and I love her.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And I believe you. And I believe you. And I thank you for that. And I'm so grateful, y'. All. This is such a treasure. This is such a gift. This is the kind of stuff that we do getting grown for because we believe that we don't want to lose these opportunities to sit around our, our elders and aunties and, you know, women and just learn about life.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

It's important.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

So thank you so much for being with us. Yes.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I love y'. All. I'm coming for Oprah.

[Jade]

I'm. Listen, I'm gonna email.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I'll email you when I get to.

[Jade]

Yes, you are. And if you don't, I'm gonna re. I'm gonna.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I'm in Flatbush, too. I say. Oh, okay.

[Jade]

All right. It's happening. Oh, you're okay. You're five minutes away. Got copied. Okay, so I will see you very soon. Oh, Ms. Michaela, we are so grateful for you. The audience is grateful for you.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Let's do it over okra. Can y' all do y' all do like live?

[Kia]

We can, we can make it happen.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Have a kitchen table.

[Kia]

Oh my God.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Can we and like chop sister.

[Jade]

Okay, let's get the food.

[Kia]

All right, y', all, we'll get that done.

[Jade]

Yes, we will. Okay, we'll see you all for the next segment. You all check the description box. Ms. Mikayla, thank you so much.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I love y'.

[Jade]

All.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

I love us.

[Jade]

I love us.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

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[Jade]

Greetings and salutations. It's time for the self care.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

And I have a couple of things I want to actually share. Come on for this self care because as we say every single week we are living in s such challenging times and it is getting, you know, harder and harder to to be intentional about taking care of oneself where you trying to make ends meet in whatever way that is. You know what I mean? So the first one I wanted to share because I hope that it might serve as some sort of motivation for somebody who might be sitting on their hands and they need to go ahead and get this done. I got my annual done. Oh and I also got my referral and scheduled my mammogram my titty Smashed and period. And I'm and. And referral to get some other things taken care of. And so if you are sitting on your hands and you know there are appointments that you need to make and you have the health care assistance to be able to do so, because we know that is also a contributing factor, then please let this serve as some sort of motivation for you to do so. Again, I don't speak from an ivory tower. I sat on my hands a little too long even after my coverage came into effect and I needed to get on the good foot. So I went to the optometrist, I did my annual. I scheduled my mammogram. I'm getting some other stuff taken care of. And I hope that this motivates you to do so as well. Yeah, also what I wanted to share, which is a little. It's not self care, but I think it should fall under the umbrella. It's clearly really troubling times for so many people financially. Right. And that's not something that we always feel comfortable discussing out of shame and so many other things. And I saw a post from a young lady named Kendra, Kendra Morris. M O R O U S Kendra K K E N D R A and it was about financial depression and isolation and community and how you. Yeah, seasonal depression is. This is, this is the time for that. Right. But also financial depression is a real thing as resources have dried up, as funding has dried up, as people are furloughed, as people are losing SNAP benefits and all kinds of things at the hands of our government. And so she was just lovingly admonishing people to not allow financial depression to isolate them from community, even if it means you not having to go into a whole lot of detail about not being able to go to dinner or brunch or talk turn up or the hookah lounge or whatever the case is. When a friend offers you say you, you give an alternative. Can we go take a walk?

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know, or something along those lines. And if this, this is real community, they'll understand that, you know what I mean? And so I just wanted to share that because I thought that was a beautiful message at such a beautiful time as I'm having so many conversations, so many conversations around so many of us who have had almost an upside down, a flip, you know, in financial circumstances, literally because of how things have flipped within the government, within society, as we are landsliding into a recession and everything else. And so I just wanted to share that if this is something that's been plaguing you and you find yourself feeling a level of shame. A, there's no need to. And B, don't, don't allow that to isolate you because that's your mind working against you. You know what I mean? Lean into your community during these times. And so, yeah, I just want to.

[Kia]

Share that for the self care love that I am. I am also being more intentional about sort of just acknowledging and celebrating community and kind of want to. I know that's right for, you know, just to give a general sort of shout out. I'm just grateful for my neighbor, Lauren. Lauren lives to my immediate left. Like, she lives in the home just, just next to me. And she has just been an awesome neighbor. Like, she's an awesome neighbor in terms of just looking out and, you know, just helping me in terms of, you know, I travel a lot for work and it's not something that I ever thought that I would be having to manage, but she's just been really dope. And every time I've called her and needed something, she has looked out, picking up my package, taking care of something, you know, in my absence. And she, you know, I thank her profusely all the time, and she just says I'm just being neighborly, but she really is just a dope person. We go to the same gym and it's just been awesome to sort of connect and get to know her and just, you know, it's been such a blessing, especially in such scary times, to just remember that, you know, there are people who are proximate to me who are paying attention and who have a desire to be there and be helpful. And, you know, I pray that, that I can continue to sort of, or try to be as much as a support to her as she's been to me. And so I just want to shout out my good neighbor low. Thank you, Lauren. I know that's right.

[Jade]

I love that we need more. We gotta. We gotta lean back into neighbor times, you know what I'm saying? Like, we gotta. Especially now. We really have to, like, we got. We gotta lean into our neighbors, man. We. We really do. We really? Really?

[Kia]

Yes. And there's another. I have a neighbor, Janessa. Janessa also lives in my complex. She's also picked me up, picked up things for me, handled things for me, her and her husband. And so she also lives in my complex. So shout out to my neighbors in the hood. And Janessa listens to getting grown. So thank you forever.

[Jade]

Come on, Janessa.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Shout out to you Shout out to y' all for being real Humans out here in a world where I feel like we are living with robots, it's bleak. It's bleak out here. It's a rotten. All right, well let's move on to these things. Self care. Make sure you use that as your motivation to also be a good neighbor. Unless you live with and then, you know, lean in that direction. Anyway, let's move to the petty boost. Okay.

[Kia]

Country Petty. All the same to me playing James Spaghetti. I'm gonna say this as a disclaimer that you know, some of the girls are going to be a little upset with me but you just have to hear me out. Okay?

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

The people are probably going to feel some kind of way again. It's a travel one because you know, this is where I am in my life. So just let me. These are the actual things that are just upsetting me. So just let me get this off.

[Jade]

I'm holding in my fart waiting.

[Kia]

So on my flight to Phoenix yesterday, there was a young lady sitting in front of me and it was an early morning flight so 7am So I understand that the girls didn't get all their Z's in and they want to get their Z's out. Right. I don't have any objection to that. Right. Listen, catch up on your rest.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

You know what I'm saying? I don't, I don't do what you need to do. So we're sitting, main cabin, it is close quarters. We're both sitting in the window seat and as a person who is 5 foot 10 inches tall, these are. This is just the body that I'm in. I don't have any additional space to put my legs. I'm a long legged person so. And as you know, as we've discussed during the petty peeves, when you recline, particularly in a main cabin seat, you go from here to about here.

[Jade]

Right. Like you.

[Kia]

It's not a deep like you know, say you're not. It's not a Delta 1 situation. You're not finna lay back.

[Jade]

Okay. You're not. It hits, it hits the knees though. It goes back enough.

[Kia]

It hits the knees. So this is the thing, this young lady again trying to get her rest and I get it, I've been there. You're trying to be comfortable on the plane. So she's tossing and turning like she's in the bed though. And I think she doesn't want to accept that the recline is only going to give her this much. So she's all just like jamming her tossing and turning, jamming and jamming.

[Jade]

And jamming.

[Kia]

Now, I done told y', all, my knees are where they are. I don't have any place else to put them. And so I don't know if she thinks that I'm intentionally, like, kneeing her in the back. I feel like I'm looking at her like, you're making this worse. If you would sit still, we both could get through this. But you want to. You want to try to Lazy boy this situation, even though you don't have the material. Okay.

[Jade]

Yeah, it's nice. It's not.

[Kia]

So. Just giving y' all some context. What upset me, though? When we get ready to leave, we're deplaning, sister. This individual stands up and is able to stand fully up under, like, in the window.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Like, she could.

[Jade]

Oh, yeah.

[Kia]

I mean, she's. If she's five foot tall, I would be surprised the way that I'm like, she's. Noah's. Taller than her By. By. By a lot.

[Jade]

Yes. Yeah, yeah.

[Kia]

And so I'm like, no, it's taller than half.

[Jade]

Half the listeners.

[Kia]

Exactly. I'm over here, like, on what planet is this little person literally jamming her body into. And I'm just looking around and then for her to stand up. I'm like, you were doing all of that. I don't even believe that your feet were touching the ground and you was doing all of that.

[Jade]

What she probably did. She probably had her feet. She probably curled her whole body up. Up into the seat and was, like, literally rotating herself like a potato when you were feeling all of that motion. You know what I mean?

[Kia]

It just fascinated me. And I was like, okay, I have experienced people trying to recline in these seats, and I know that that's a thing, but I was cool, right? But when she stood up and I saw her actual height, I was incensed. I. I was. I was enraged because.

[Jade]

Did she look back at you?

[Kia]

She looked and she did. Like, she. I was thinking that she was going to turn around, like, with some smoke because she was upset, but she was. Oh, good afternoon. Like, she was just. And I'm just like. So maybe she was sleep. And just didn't realize she was moving that much or. I don't know.

[Jade]

Sheep's wild.

[Kia]

But I was just like, wow, this is such a small person. I expected her to fully stand up and be 67. I doubt seven.

[Jade]

I. You know, Sister. And I'm just like, you know, everybody can't be like us. You know what I mean?

[Kia]

Which is coming. I knew this was coming.

[Jade]

There's A whole convention dedicated to us as a people.

[Kia]

I. I saw that you want to be a guest at this convention and we're going to have to work that out.

[Jade]

It's fun. Fubu. What do you mean? Like this. This. This is Fubu.

[Kia]

Okay?

[Jade]

And we're gonna go and, you know, talk to if won't be allowed.

[Kia]

Listen, and I just want to say if you need a booster seat, then don't be trying to recline, okay? I say that with all the love in my heart. And I know that the girl like legally.

[Jade]

Cuz sometimes you do to drive. Drive if you are of a certain height, by the. By the law. I know that's a loose, you know, place these days. But just so you know, that's the thing. Because I know. I know some people who are like 411, barely, and they have stipulations on their driver's licenses. You know what I'm saying?

[Kia]

Understood. I just. I just was more than I was. Like, girl, I have never in my life been able to fully stand tall underneath, like right by the window. Never in my life have I been able to stand to my feet. Even when I was flying at 8 and 9 years old, you would have to stand up and bend down. Otherwise you would decapitate yourself. But this girl stood fully up underneath the. I mean, girl, she. Girl, I can't even see you over the seat.

[Jade]

Damn.

[Kia]

I was.

[Jade]

She was really.

[Kia]

I was floored.

[Jade]

You were so mad.

[Kia]

I was stunned. I was a gag. I had to call my mama.

[Jade]

You're like a little Oompa Loompa.

[Kia]

I said, you're never gonna believe who I said.

[Jade]

What a literal Labubu is in front of me right this second.

[Kia]

Marley. She was Marley type. I know y' all gonna say I'm discriminated against. The short people. I'm not. Okay, y'.

[Jade]

All.

[Kia]

I let y' all live 98, 000.

[Jade]

Because I'll be over here blowing the hottest of air around height and, you know, can't be letting me live. You know, I am five, four for anybody who's confused.

[Kia]

And I'm just over here like, listen, like, like the spelling of our names. When it comes to height, you get what you get. You can't, you know, you can't do too much about it. I understand. You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

Four extra inches on top of five.

[Kia]

You see what I'm saying? It's just like this is. These are the cards I was dealt. And here we are. You see what I'm saying?

[Jade]

And I'M not even the show at my grand. Now, my grandfather. I told you.

[Kia]

Yeah, he.

[Jade]

He might be five, two now. It's not even five three anymore. But I grew up three. Grandfather shrink.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And he's Mexican. So you put those two combinations.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Yes.

[Kia]

Oh, dear. No. And I told you I had a complex because I. And I came from a house of extraordinarily tall individuals where. Where I, at 5 foot 10, was the shortest. So, yeah, I get it.

[Jade]

From one of those really infuriating.

[Kia]

You know what I'm saying? I get it. I get it.

[Jade]

When I go to people's houses like that and everybody walks in and literally every body is tall is so maddening.

[Kia]

Do you hear?

[Jade]

I'm like, really?

[Commercial Announcer]

God.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

We didn't even spread it out amongst families. Like, all the. Got this in this one family. That's true.

[Kia]

It's very true. My grandma was the shortest, and she was 5, 7. And we all.

[Jade]

My mother is 5 7, and I always thought she was tall for a woman. See, My father is 5, 10 ish.

[Kia]

Maybe. Allegedly. Yes.

[Jade]

Thought he was tall as well, because he was not 5, 5, 3 like my grandfather, like his father. So, you know, it's all about perspective.

[Kia]

Yeah. But I'm talking about instrument. My first cousins. Like, I'm five, ten. All of them. All of them are taller than me. Every one of my first cousins. And it's my cousin Ebony. Even my cousin Ebony, six one.

[Jade]

Ebony six one.

[Kia]

Six foot one.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

That's.

[Jade]

I'm disgusted. God. Like, I'm disgusted.

[Kia]

So it's just like, listen, I get it. But to see that girl stand up on that plane looking like this, I was like, oh, you have got to be kidding me, ma', am. You shouldn't even be sitting in this seat. Where is your. Where is your parents? Where are your parents? Got you on by yourself?

[Jade]

I told you. I live in pure delusion. So when I. Even when I'm on the train and I'm sorry. Sitting down and I'm about to get up, like, off my stop. When I get up, I get up like I'm six, five. Because everybody sits down and I'm like, everybody's so shocked at how tall I am. Full scenarios in my mind. I was like, they're all so surprised that I'm such a guy at Amazon. And before their eyes. Oh, well, when's the tall people event coming to New York? Because me and Kia got.

[Kia]

I'm gonna find out. I do want to be a part. I want to go. I was worried. I was like, they Gonna let me in? Because when I looked at that Instagram, all the girls was well over six feet and it was like two girls. It was like, we're five nine. I was like, I can go.

[Jade]

And they. And you're not five nine.

[Kia]

I'm not, but that's what I'm saying. I'm five ten, yo, if you feel like the short.

[Jade]

But that lady was 411 who was in there. So I'm. I'm in there.

[Kia]

She won't worry about it. Yeah, yeah, she sure was.

[Jade]

If you're that short, you shouldn't wear a short skirt and ankle boots. It's just. It just go. It just don't slap right. You know what I'm saying? That's just me.

[Kia]

Listen. What she want? What is your pieces?

[Jade]

Oh, my petty peeve. I have a couple of them. Okay, let's party. A coon. Oh God. I saw a video of a coon. You know, you all may. You have the day, life, week, month that you deserve by if you're celebrating how empty the supermarket is because people lost their SNAP benefits. Like, yes, this literal was in the supermarket making goofy ass coon ass videos about how high people's like, it's so empty. I have my whole choice of everything that I want in here because people don't have their SNAP benefits to get groceries. And it was so disgusting.

[Kia]

Y' all make me.

[Jade]

It was so. It made me so sick. Then upon further investigation, I realized he was a famaga or whatever the song. I knew he was a clown then, but it just. It just really disgusted me that even to farm content like that, you don't even have a Grinch sized heart enough to be able to be like, you know, it's really up that people can't eat.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Like, you can't.

[Jade]

No. There's not a ting, a single iota in you that even says that. You're just. You're disgrace. You're a disgrace. You are the muck that they try to clean off the gallbladders. You are the dog that people step in and can't get off their shoe. And I literally wish the worst for you. I do. I'm not going to do anything, but I'm going to wish it on you with all of my will, my might and my energy because you deserve it. My second petty peeve is when after you're sick and like you start to get over it, you get that loose snot that just starts to show up at all the most inconvenient times of life. It's like, where does loose not come from?

[Michaela Angela Davis]

God damn.

[Kia]

It's just very excessive and it feels uncontrollable.

[Jade]

Laugh the wrong way. Your name is Shirley, you know what I'm saying? You like breathe the wrong way and it's like, so that means not when you. You and you out of being sick. That's my petty piece.

[Kia]

No, I get it. That's a very real. I was telling Chris, well one when we was out to dinner one time. I feel like the older I get, sometimes my body just forgets to do like very common day to day functionings. Like I'll just be like, why am I coughing? Like, I was just eating. I just forgot how to swallow. What the hell? It's like.

[Jade]

It's like what I was recording the other day and I was instantly taken to my grandfather. My grandfather used to choke on his spit.

[Kia]

If I laugh too hard and start coughing, it's like what. I used to know how to breathe. What is wrong with me?

[Jade]

No, let me tell you the stupidest thing I discovered about myself, because it's happening to me now three times. So I said, pattern. I'll be drinking my coffee in the morning. But then like when it gets lukewarm and I want to finish it so I can do something else, sometimes I'll be like, all right, I'm just finish. I'm just down. You know, we. We out of s. Living dangerous.

[Kia]

Don't. Living dangerous.

[Jade]

Do not guzzle coffee.

[Commercial Announcer]

Don't do that.

[Kia]

A terrible mistake.

[Jade]

The last time it happened, I was like, all right, enough. You're only allowed to sing. Exactly. Clearly your throat don't work.

[Kia]

Like, oh, terrible. But I said I'd be so greedy. And I remember, like my mom used.

[Jade]

To tell me.

[Kia]

I've always been greedy. I've always loved food so much. And so you eat, you start choking and. And I remember being like choking or getting strangled or something. Going down the wrong tube. And I'm coughing, still eating. My mother was like, if you would just wait. Look at you, greedy. You can't even breathe. Just shoveling the food in your mouth. So I find in my old age I have to pace myself because I just be excited.

[Jade]

You'll die.

[Kia]

And then it'd be like, girl, I'm.

[Jade]

It's like my mother, if I was eating too fast or like I'm trying to get the gravy off the plate. It's not a trough, Jade.

[Kia]

Just embarrassing. It's like, girl, you are choking tears coming down here. Still trying to bite the chicken, which just wait and let Yourself swallow.

[Jade]

What is it?

[Kia]

My mama be like, swallow what's in your mouth first. And I'll be like, okay, I'm sorry.

[Jade]

I know now I talk myself through it like sex. I'll be like, no, you still have more chewing to keep going. I do. I'll be talking myself through you eating like sex. Just so we don't, you know, don't chew it off.

[Kia]

Yeah, don't just.

[Jade]

Yeah, just. No, it's not done yet. You didn't break down that one yet.

[Kia]

No.

[Jade]

Keep chewing. So it's still going to be there.

[Kia]

It's not. They like, like they are not coming to take that platform. All you have to do is take your time. Take your time. They're not going to, they're not going to take it.

[Jade]

Oh, that is me. All day, all day. Always been greedy.

[Kia]

Always like Kia, the food is not going anywhere.

[Jade]

It doesn't matter.

[Kia]

You don't have to act like you've never been there.

[Jade]

And I'm like, oh my God.

[Kia]

Still the same.

[Jade]

Can you relate?

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Let us know your experiences. Choking on your food at hello getting growing.com. thank you. Thank you so much for listening to our foolishness yet again. Thank you, thank you, thank you. Muchas gracias. Muchas gracias to our amazing, Amazing, amazing guest, Ms. Gayla Angela Day Davis.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

My God, the way that you filled our cups this week, I just hope, you know, and I hope that somebody is able to do the same for you.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

And sis, take us out and tell us and tell them what to do.

[Kia]

Make sure that you are taking care of yourself in every way that you can. You want to take care of your mind, your mental, your spirit. And the best way to do that is to mind your business. Okay? You want to attend to the business that is yours alone. That's how you keep your mind moist and supple and functioning at optimal capacity. Tea. You also want to make sure that you're drinking just as much water as your body can sustain every single day. Okay. You don't want to lapse with that, especially now. Okay. Don't, don't, don't feel like cuz it's cold outside. You don't have to drink no water. That's not the truth. That's your organs will thank you. And finally, you want to keep your, your largest organ which is your skin. You want to keep that healthy and well and moist because your black will crack if it's dry.

[Jade]

Oh yes. And also make sure you subscribe to us. Yes. On Patreon on tick tock and YouTube. Okay, yes. Thank you so much.

[Kia]

And follow us on Instagram too. We. We've been over there, but.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah, we've been over there. All right, all right. We going for real now by.

[Kia]

This.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

Is an Etsy holiday ad, but you won't hear any sleigh bells or classic carols. Instead you'll hear something original, the sound of an Etsy holiday, which sounds like this.

[Jade]

Woohoo.

[Michaela Angela Davis]

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