Eff/Marry/Kill

Summary

Gettin’ Grown – “Eff/Marry/Kill”

Hosts: Jade & Kia
Release Date: January 22, 2026
Network: Loud Speakers Network

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jade and Kia kick off 2026 with their signature blend of humor, honesty, and reflection, unpacking the challenges and lessons of the new year. Centered around an “F/Marry/Kill” thematic exercise, they intentionally reflect on what habits, mindsets, and experiences they want to revisit, commit to, or leave behind as they continue to "learn how to adult." The conversation is wide-ranging—touching on political issues, personal growth, Black womanhood, grief, self-care, and the realities and joys of being in their 30s and 40s.

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Main Themes & Purpose

• Intentional Reflection: Using the “F/Marry/Kill” framework, the hosts explore how to move thoughtfully from one year into the next, reflecting on life, habits, and growth.
• Living with Duality: Acknowledging the coexistence of hardship and beauty in adulthood and the Black community’s resilience.
• Community & Authenticity: Validating experiences shared by listeners and stressing the importance of authenticity and small, meaningful connections.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcoming 2026 & Check-In

01:37–06:06

• Both hosts reflect on 2026 starting “hot” and share gratitude for being able to return to their community and podcasting partnership.
• Kia: "2026 came in kind of hot. We will process that at a later time. But you know, I’m just working through it and moving through with gratitude." (04:36)
• Jade emphasizes the necessity of making spaces of peace amid ongoing global and personal chaos.

2. World Events & Emotional Realness

06:10–11:09

• Jade recaps ongoing global conflicts in Gaza, Sudan, and Venezuela, naming injustice and expressing frustration and empathy.
• On emotional exhaustion: “I love my good holy people out there who wish the best for everybody. I don’t wish the best for everybody. I wish the worst for them.” (08:34)
• Both reflect on the tension between needing to dissociate for self-preservation and remaining vigilant about injustice.

3. Duality: Joy and Suffering

11:12–15:17

• Kia and Jade discuss “the duality” of living through high highs and low lows.
• Kia: “The work is in figuring out how to hold both...and continue to leverage all of that and cultivate self and purpose and impact, because those are the things that I value.” (11:22)
• Jade: “I think both can exist at the same time. Things are really hard and really ugly and also beautiful things have been born out of disgusting circumstances and will continue to be so.” (14:23)

4. F/Marry/Kill (Kitchen Table Talk): Intention Over Performance

21:54–42:13

A. F — “Fact”/Try Again

25:11–29:37

• Jade: Plans to continue growing her solo food events, after successfully hosting her first and feeling empowered to expand.
  • “I’m committed to growing all of my solo folks food endeavors — like I’m really finding many different branches.” (26:11)
• Kia: Committed to more solo travel after a transformative solo vacation that became a personal retreat.
  • “It was empowering to sort of move through the world that way and take ownership of pouring into myself after a hard and heavy personal time.” (28:51)
• Both discuss the importance of reframing rest as essential, not a reward.

B. Marry — Commit To/Deepen

32:34–57:39

• Jade:
  • Emphasizes prioritizing health with “way more intentionality”—from vitamins to movement, juicing, and diet, for herself and her daughter.
  • Getting serious about boundaries and only committing where it matters to avoid burnout.
  • "I'm really committed to marrying...those endeavors...and finding a way to reframe what I do, how I do it, in a way that feels really good and authentic to me." (55:57)
• Kia:
  • Embracing spiritual grounding over legalism; following Christ’s example in solitude and self-restoration.
  • Accepting herself as not a “6am girlie”—leaning into her own rhythms and self-acceptance: “Instead of me shaming myself for not being a 6am girlie, I’m moving more toward being grateful that my life has the flexibility that I can be what I need.” (43:01)
  • Marrying her identity as a creator, rejecting perfectionism and systemic pressures, and intersecting her many facets (academic, podcaster, etc.) around intentional change and self-actualization. “All the aspects of my work, I help people, individuals, organizations, communities navigate change with intention.” (51:55)

C. Kill — Leave Behind

59:14–75:38

• Overcommitting and comparison, especially in the social/content creation space.

  • Jade: “Overcommitting in a way that exhausts me where I can’t commit to the things that I want to” (60:11) and “There’s a lot of food content out there… I enjoy it, I don’t need to stew over in my mind whether or not I need to be doing some variation of that.” (59:54)

• Kia: Letting go of the narrative of being “behind" or not doing enough; fighting perfectionism by embracing being a beginner and focusing on her lane.

  • “I am trying to leave the narrative that I’m behind or I’m not doing enough.” (64:45)
  • On triggers and boundaries: "There are some content creators that I love, but they trigger me to compare myself to them. I have to engage with them in a particular way…it’s not their fault, it’s not mine, it’s just something I’m working on." (66:30)

• Both discuss the power of leaning into imperfection — doing things “raggedy,” letting content be messy, and using “the bad” to their advantage.

• Kia on boundary-setting: “Sometimes you have to hyper focus on your lane, and that means you stay on your own mat and not worry about what the next girl is doing." (68:26)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On global awareness: “Let’s not lose sight. But it is a new year, and I feel like...all the worst things that have happened in history have also happened alongside the best things.” – Jade (09:43)
• On rest: “Recognizing that rest is not a reward for the work, it is a part of the work. It is essential to the work.” – Kia (28:51)
• On joy: “You gotta for real, for real tap into them pockets of joy. So if that means you walk around your house stupid sometimes, you know what I’m saying? Singing instruments...You gotta find your mother pockets or you will melt.” – Jade (44:29)
• On authenticity in creation: “I want to do meaningful work. And...sometimes it is about intimate, meaningful engagement and real community building amongst people who want to be a part of a community versus just having a bunch of people to watch.” – Kia (57:39)
• On perfectionism and self-acceptance: “You get better by doing it, not by obsessing over what you’ve done to the point that you don’t put it out.” – Kia (70:47)
• On divesting from drama: “I have no desire to be in this space. I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue. I just want to go home and roll up and watch Bob's Burgers… I'm truly, truly not gonna go back and forth with you blacks about anything.” – Jade (74:45 & 75:15)

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Key Timestamps

• 01:37 – Singing intro, warm check-in, starting the year with gratitude.
• 06:15–11:09 – Processing global atrocities, the emotional cost of caring and advocacy.
• 11:12–15:17 – Duality of hardship and beauty; holding space for joy and pain.
• 21:54 – Introducing the “F/Marry/Kill” kitchen table talk.
• 25:11 – F: Experiments they want to repeat — solo travel, events, rest.
• 32:34 – Marry: Commitments for health, self-acceptance, creative authenticity.
• 59:14 – Kill: Overcommitting, comparison, and perfectionism.
• 77:36–92:04 – Listener letters (Honesty Box): Grief, solo travel, breakups, listener appreciation.
• 92:04–98:48 – Self-care segment: Home and spirit refresh, being present amid change.

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Listener Letters & Community

• Listener reflections on grief, solo travel, relationships, and the unique community the podcast provides.
• Special shout-out and celebration for a listener’s wife graduating with honors after years of persistence.

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Conclusion

The episode closes with warmth and practical self-care advice, skipping the usual “petty peeve” segment to carry forward a spirit of care and gratitude. Jade and Kia reaffirm the importance of drinking water, moisturizing, minding your business, and protecting your peace as 2026 unfolds.

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For New or Returning Listeners:
This episode embodies Gettin’ Grown’s special mix of laughter, vulnerability, and care. Expect to hear real-life Black womanhood, honest talk about the world, therapy and self-care wisdom, and a standing invitation to reflect, celebrate, and grow together—even when life (and adulthood) stays unpredictable.

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[Kitchen Table Prompts Offered in Episode:]

• What will you try again (F)?
• What will you commit to (Marry)?
• What are you ready to let go of (Kill)?

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Originality & Tone:
Conversational, often hilarious, unfiltered, and full of loving accountability—Jade and Kia keep it real for themselves and their listeners in some of the most affirming, authentic podcasting spaces around.

Transcript

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[Jade]

2 Step 2 Step 2 Step 2 Step 2 step 2 Step 2 Step I can imagine life without you by my side. This is love Bab. What I'm feeling. Oh, my, my. And I'm hoping that you feeling the day things tend to slip my mind.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Like how you like to. Yes. And dine Bab. With romantic lights. You mean a lot to me in so many way. Take it away. Have I told you I love you? Have I told you you still mean the world to me? Have I told you I love you? I think I forgot to tell you that Brandy brought him out at the Boy's Mind tour. I think I forgot. Him of all people. Really, child. He had on some uncle jeans. You know, they were skinny, baby. He had on some. He brought. He said, tonight I am Naija. He had on white loafers, okay? White loafers, skinny jeans and a tunic.

[Kia]

Just on my very last nerve.

[Jade]

My Shayla. Okay? My Sheila.

[Kia]

Why would he do such a thing? You know, that's so.

[Jade]

Because it's Tyrese.

[Kia]

It's so on brand.

[Jade]

It's on brand for a nigga's last name. Gibson.

[Kia]

What a time. And praise the lord. Welcome to 2026.

[Jade]

Oh, my God.

[Kia]

We love you guys.

[Jade]

Wow. Yeah, we've been. We've been being vanilling on you. You since. Yes, for nine years now.

[Kia]

Welcome, welcome, welcome, welcome back. Welcome, Blacks, to another episode of Getting Grow. It has almost been nine years, which is mind numbing, sister.

[Jade]

I know.

[Kia]

I mean, whoever. I know, I know.

[Jade]

Isn't that crazy?

[Kia]

Whoa. Welcome back. Getting grown. It's all about adulting the ghettos of the worst hood called adulthood. Okay. Where we discuss the highest, the lows, the twists, the turns, the temptations and the taxes of being a real live adult in the year of Our Lord. Now, 2026, if I had a word.

[Jade]

Of alliteration that goes with acid reflux that went along with that, I'd add it in there. It added in there. There. Heartburn. 2026. Oh. How are you, sister?

[Kia]

I'm holding on for dear life.

[Jade]

Holding on, holding on. But that's Jeffrey Osborne, the greatest. And anytime somebody says they're holding on for, like, that, I just. That's holding on. That's what you got to put the little soundtrack in.

[Kia]

I'm grateful. I'm safe. I have what I need. You know, 2026 came in kind of hot. We will. We will process that at a later time. But, you know, I'm. I'm just working through it and moving through with gratitude and through it all.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

So, you know, grateful to be here still. Grateful to be doing this, still. Grateful to be doing it with you. We're just grateful and grateful for our community still holding on after all of this time.

[Jade]

And.

[Kia]

And, you know, we're just going to keep going. We're going to keep moving. We're going to keep doing good work and coming together.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Because that's what this is all about. How. How are you doing, sister?

[Jade]

You know, I am also holding on. The. The end of the year was hot, huh? It was hot, and I needed to cool off for a minute, and I'm glad I had a second to do so. Although, you know, the world didn't cool off. The world did not cool off. It just kept rolling and going.

[Kia]

No.

[Jade]

And it continues to. And so I am also grateful, you know, I'm grateful for. For.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

The little bit of peace of mind that we're able to intentionally find, you know, by our own, complete own volition.

[Kia]

We're making it. We're making our own. Okay. Yeah.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Jade]

We got to creating a space like a little dog, literally a hole of.

[Kia]

Peace, dissociating entirely from what's going on around us.

[Jade]

I had to do that for a little bit. And then I was like, you know, I don't want to become apathetic, and I don't even think it's. The world is. It's allowing it. I'm like, how it is creating space to become apathetic and also to. Not to wake the up if you have not been. So, you know, I. I do want to keep in mind with the new year and with the holiday that atrocities are still happening worldwide. The IDF been violating the ceasefire in Gaza, continuing to kill civilians. They're also enduring horrible weather conditions and like blocking of just the tools and essentials that are needed in order to rebuild. And so they're just living in turmoil. So even if it's not as active as it once was, it's still active. Let's be very clear. Not stop. And there are so many forms of oppressing people. You know, it doesn't have to just be bombing and shooting directly also by, by blocking resources and making sure that people's homes collapse, you know, because they're dilapidated due to all of the, the things that you all have done. So you know that's going on. Sudan, we don't want to forget what's happened in Sudan. The icc, look at you, you all woke up. They said that it's definitely been war crimes happening against humanity. But what, I don't know what they plan on doing about it. So we want to continue to pray for the people of Sudan cuz the RSF and the SAF is still fighting, there's still drone strikes, there's still civilian killings. We see Venezuela then kidnapped this in a, in a fleet in a old navy fleece set.

[Kia]

Jesus Lord, mercy Lord.

[Jade]

You know now they talking about Greenland. Like I'm like. And ice. Okay. Crushed whole. What else? What other kind of ice exists out there? Ice you all through and through. Okay sister, call it autumn dry. Okay? Dry your dry. Like I'm just, I wish, you know, I, I, I, I, I love my good holy people out there who wish the best for everybody. I don't wish the best for everybody. I wish the worst. I wish the worst for them. I wish the worst for everything that comes of them and from them. I don't wish the worst for their children. I pray that their children look at them and say, you are a deplorable excuse of flesh. And I'm detaching from you. So I'm not even going to wish the worst on the babies. Babies were attacked enough, but I wish the worst on those. I told you about my encounter right before the holidays, right? Yeah. So may you all rot, choke, sit and spin dry and bloody. But we coming in hot.

[Kia]

2026.

[Jade]

2026 coming in.

[Kia]

Sizzling cheese and rice. My goodness.

[Jade]

So sorry, I didn't mean to break the energy so early but I don't want us to forget or lose sight, you know what I'm saying? Like it's so, with so much swirling Around. It's so easy. It's so easy to say, you know what? I'm just tired, and I choose to opt out. And I think at times it's necessary to opt out, just in the sense of, like, gathering yourself right, because you will weigh yourself down to the point of not being able to function. I felt like I was getting to that space, but we don't want to. We still want to be mindful. We still want to. We still want to. We still want to be aware they're killing white women. So y' all better keep your eyes open. You know what I'm saying? Keep your eyes open. They've been killing us, but if that wasn't enough to move you, I, like, I just don't know. And they. But they're trying to set this up for a civil war. Like, this is their goal. This is their aim, and here we are. This is coming live and direct from a born on 9 11. So you ain't never gonna get me, you know what I'm saying? And remembers it so vividly. So I'm just. That's all I'm saying is let you know, let's not lose sight. But it is a new year, and I feel like, you know, I feel like in this new year, sister, you know, there was once upon all the worst things that have happened in history have also happened alongside the best things.

[Kia]

Yeah, I. I think the. The duality. I just stuttered the duality.

[Jade]

Junior. Sorry. That was problematic, I guess.

[Kia]

I think the duality, the balance. Right. I think that, yeah, what we're. I think in negotiating life, there are high highs and low lows. And I think those of you, you know, the. The. The work is in figuring out how to hold both.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And I think there are lessons that each have to teach us. And so, yeah, my hope is, you know, to continue for us to sort of keep our eyes and our perspective grounded in truth so that we can move with intention in ways that continue to prioritize our safety and our success and the things that, you know, we have control over as. As relates to sort of our, you know, taking care of ourselves and one another. And so that's how I'm going into 2026. Very clear that, you know, life is lifing and that will. That will take us through all. All of. Like, all of the extremes and everything in between. And so, yeah, my work is for myself personally. It's like, you know, moving through that clear and conscious, reflective, and, you know, wanting to sort of. To continue to leverage all of that. And cultivate itself and purpose and. And impact, because those are the things that I value and are important to me and important to us. And this is how we, you know, were to word to Beyonce and Jay Z's grandmother and all, you know, that's how we turn the lemons into lemonade girl. That's how we try to. You know what I'm saying? And I'm not saying that in ways that trivialize or dismiss the gravity of the very serious circumstances that we're navigating, but I think our history teaches us that, you know, who we are. Like, we come from. From traditions and. And, you know, our DNA, like, figuring out these kinds of terrible conditions are, listen, inherent to who we are in the world.

[Jade]

The Harlem Renaissance happened alongside the. The great.

[Kia]

The Great Depression.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kia]

You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

Now, granted, do I feel like there is a. A particular falling happening here? Yes, I do. Okay. I definitely, definitely do. But also, I've heard too many people within my community who are not related to one another or don't have any relationship to one another, but still speak the same theme of, like, you know, this shit is motherfucking whack. And I. I have work to do, and I really want to get to a place of enjoying the core of my work.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know, of. Of. Of. Of the things that bring me joy.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And so I. I have felt that and I have heard that over and over and over again. And so, yes, to your point, I think both can exist at the same time. Things are really hard and really ugly and also beautiful, beautiful things have been born out of disgusting circumstances and will continue to be so. Absolutely. Let's sing code for this shit and do the best that we can. And, you know, be present and enjoy as much of this particular life that you can because you don't know what the fuck is getting ready blow our phones in a week. I don't know. So not speaking it, but, you know, anything is. Anything is possible.

[Kia]

Clearly.

[Jade]

So true. So, yeah, I might start drinking Hennessy again. I don't know. I.

[Kia]

We are dealing with so much.

[Jade]

I'm going to try crack. Just playing. I'm not doing that.

[Kia]

It's too far.

[Jade]

Too far.

[Kia]

Please do not do that.

[Jade]

Sorry. It's the hat. It's the hat. I. Chedd.

[Kia]

All right, all right, let's move forward. We gonna get to. You ready to get into the kitchen table?

[Jade]

Let's get into this kitchen table.

[Kia]

All right, let's do it. I am in my season Where I have fully accepted that acts of travel is my new love language. And what I love about travel, particularly solo travel, is I really love how empowered I feel. Sort of negotiating new places, new cities by myself and being able to speak the language of wherever I'm traveling is something that I love and really makes me feel like I can do anything, especially on my solo travel adventures. And Babel has been an amazing tool that has helped me to negotiate new language and and develop new language in all the cool places that I'm traveling. So if you're ever feeling overwhelmed or have felt over overwhelmed by the idea of learning a new language, you are not alone. Okay, Talking is hard. Studies show that 70 to 90% of people trying to learn a new language give up. Fortunately, Babel's built so that it's really easy to get started. They understand that people learn differently. So you can dive into a podcast. When you don't quite feel like a quick lesson, you can speak out loud to get that practice in. You can explore courses based on specific topics or even create your own customized review list all within the app. Learning a new language with Babbel is all about small steps, big wins and progress. You can actually track and feel. Their bite sized lessons fit easily into your daily routine and are also easy to remember. Just 10 minutes a day is enough to start seeing real results. Babbel lets you practice real life conversation step by step, without the stress or pressure. You'll build the confidence to speak up when it matters, from ordering a coffee to chatting with new friends abroad. And Babbel is more than just lessons. They even offer a large collection of podcasts where Babel experts reveal language secrets and offer an inside look at local cultures, which is what I love. So I have used this in my solo travels and it has really helped me develop conversation skills when I'm traveling abroad and to do so confidently. Like once upon a time, I'm holding up the Translate app and you know, stumbling through conversation. And I've been very, very proud of the progress that I've seen in myself as I'm negotiating spaces with people and really learning and broadening my understanding of different culture. So 10 out of 10 I fully recommend Make Fast Lasting progress with Babel, the science backed language learning app that actually works. Here's a special limited time deal for our listeners right now. Get up to 55% off your Babel subscription at Bible.comForward/Grown. That's B A B-B B E L.comForward/Grown. Get up to 55% off at BABbel.comForward/Grown. Make sure you go to the website B a b b l.com grown rules and restrictions may apply. B voyage starting the year with a Wardrobe Refresh H My Love Language Speaking my love language Quint has got you covered with lux essentials that feel effortless and look polished. They're perfect for layering, mixing and building a wardrobe of pieces that last. Their versatile style makes it easy to reach for them day after day and you can style them in all kinds of ways. From soft Mongolian cashmere sweaters that feel like designer pieces without the markup to 100 silk tops and skirts for easy dressing up to perfectly cut denim for everyday wear. Their wardrobe essentials are crafted to last season after season. I've told y' all before, I'll continue to tell you again. I have that 100% silk shirts and silk skirts tins across the board, honey. They wash well, they wear well. I reach for them often. Also the Mongolian cashmere sweaters. I have several colors, several cuts. I have the cardigan staples that you can dress up or down. This is how you curate a wardrobe, getting multiple wear out of your pieces and not having to break the bank. Also, Quince has Home Bath Kitchen Travel. I've heard great things about their Carry on, which I look to pick up really soon because you know, I'll be traveling and I really love their bathrobes. Don't sleep on their bathrobes. They have beautiful cable knit bathrobes. Refresh your wardrobe with quints. Don't wait. Go to quince.com grown for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c e.com grown to get free shipping and 365 days returns. Quince.com grown.

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[Jade]

Oh it's time for the kitchen table. But before the kitchen table we want to make sure that we bring you the announcements. You know that's very important and we wouldn't be more diligent with that this year. So make sure you're tuning into the get and Grown Patreon where you get the full video version of this episode as well as YouTube where you get clips and also see videos from the two of us and our lovely faces. Mine is particularly wintry right now. Make sure you check us out on all social platforms and follow Instagram. Tick tock. Yes. Your girls. We're on the clock application and I guess Facebook. We're over there too. I'm not. But we are. So. So check us out all across the board. Make sure you like and subscribe is how you run. You know the numbers up and help us out. If you don't have the means to support through the Patreon, that is still a way to support. Support and make sure you comment. Rate us five stars. All things in between.

[Kia]

Yeah, man.

[Jade]

Amazing.

[Kia]

We can't wait to engage with you across the interwebs.

[Jade]

Yes. Yes.

[Kia]

All right, so today for the kitchen table, we're gonna play a rousing version of F Mary Kill. Yes, sister.

[Jade]

The F is for fact, in case you were confused.

[Commercial Announcer]

Yeah.

[Kia]

But we're going to make it intentional for 2026. So we each brought.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

Something from 2025 that we're going to F. So something that we tried that we'd been willing, that we'd be willing to revisit or experiment with again, something we're going to marry in terms of committing to and carrying forward into 2026 and something that we're absolutely leaving behind in 2025. So something we're going to kill. And listen, this can be as light or as deep as you need it to be. Maybe you're marrying your morning coffee ritual or maybe you're marrying a boundary that you initiated in 2025 that has changed your life and you are committed to moving that forward. Maybe you're killing doom scrolling or maybe you're killing a belief about yourself that never served you. The point is to be thoughtful and intentional about what we're bringing into this year. Not in a way that is toxically performative or like hyper productive or in that New year new. You like when. Yeah, when the lady be stepping into 2026 with the bags. We're not doing that.

[Jade]

No. I wonder where she is.

[Kia]

Okay. I hope she's nowhere to put. Put them back because this has been marching with all that luggage since the COVID And I'm back.

[Jade]

I know her back.

[Kia]

I know her feet hurt. I know she's tired and she deserves the rest. But what we actually. What we're doing is focusing on what actually works for and hopefully doing some intentional reflection about what actually works for us. For. For our piece. Low stakes High intention, no performance, just honest reflection. So I have some prompts and examples for each. So let's. Let's. Let's start with F. Let's like, you know, like what we would f. Tried. Would try again. Something you experimented with. Maybe it was messy, imperfect, or you only scratch the surface. So what was the fun and what was fun and interesting enough that you'd revisit it with more intention and less pressure? Whether that be meal prepping. Meal prepping on Sundays, trying a new hobby, saying or something. Reading. Reading physical books instead of using an E reader. Or maybe it's something, you know, more deep, like, you know, asking for help. Like I'm committing to asking for help or going to therapy. Setting boundaries, really defining and exploring what joy looks like outside of, you know, the conventional things, you know, what does joy look like for you specifically? So thinking of those things, is there something that you experimented with in 2025 that you may want to continue to experiment or revisit as we move into 2026?

[Jade]

Something that I experience. Did I experiment with anything lasting?

[Kia]

Did you try anything new, whether intentionally or accidentally? Is there something that you did that you hadn't really done before? And I. Okay.

[Jade]

Hosted my first solo. Okay.

[Kia]

And it. And it.

[Jade]

Yes. There we go. I had to really think about. I was like, if I didn't, then that's a whole nother conversation. Yes, indeed, I did that, and I'm absolutely going to experiment with that again this year. I was just in some planning meetings yesterday, trying to figure out what that looks like longer term, more locations in different ways. And so, yeah, I'm really. This is. This is. This is what we with or this is. Yeah, this. Right.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

Yeah. This is something that you tried and, like, you're. You're committing.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

To continue to, like, grow. Like, you're gonna date this thing in 2020.

[Jade]

I'm committed to growing all of my solo folks food endeavors. Like, I'm really finding many different branches. Yeah. Yesterday, it's funny that you asked that, because yesterday was a particularly productive day. It was good brainstorming, but also, like, the foundation of planning.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

With the understanding of the world that we live in and all of the challenge.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

But, like, kind of being resolved to accepting that there's going to be immense challenge in many of these endeavors. But just like, being like, all right, well, this, you know, now we. We say it. We know it's. That will happen. And now we roll with it.

[Kia]

Right.

[Jade]

I love it. Yeah. What about for you, Noah? Come close the door.

[Kia]

Please.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Sorry. One thing that I experimented with that I'm definitely going to be revisiting with more intention in 2026 is I took my very first solo vacation.

[Jade]

Yes, you did.

[Kia]

I did.

[Jade]

Oh, I was so excited.

[Kia]

And it really was a. It was. It was a. Was about rest and reset, but it was also about reflection. So it was kind of like a personal retreat and space and time for me to disconnect from all distractions and really be intentional about spending time with myself, spending time with God, spending time in prayer, really sort of submitting some of my questions and goals and aspirations and worries and wonderings in sort of prayer and seeking God for just direction about what I'm supposed to be doing. How am I supposed to cultivate and grow and move? And it was. It was not. It was. It was not. It was amazing. There were high highs. There were also low lows, but I feel like moving forward.

[Jade]

Just.

[Kia]

I was nervous because I traveled before, you know, with family, with friends. I was nervous about, you know, solo travel in that, you know, for. For many reasons. Safety. Whether or not I was going to get sick of myself, whether or not I was going to be bored. But, you know, all in all, it ultimately was like. It was so good in ways that I think sort of changed my life and perspective and just sort of. It felt good. It was. It was empowering to sort of move through the world in that way.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And to, you know, take ownership of pouring into myself after a hard and heavy personal time. And I. I feel like I want to revisit it with more intention and with more regularity in 2026. I think, you know, recognizing that rest is not a reward for the work, it is a part of the work. It is. It is essential to the work. And I think I. That it's. It's been an awesome reframing for me, and. And doing that was a way to sort of embody that reframing, and it felt really good. So I am very much looking forward to continuing to date the solo traveling.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

In. In 2026.

[Jade]

I love that you highlighted rest as a. As a part of our restoration and. And not a reward, because that's definitely something that I had to implement over the break A lot. I was like, okay, listen, there are days where, like, there are plans that I have for myself, and there. There were days that I had it, and then there were days I didn't, and I was really.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Proud of myself to be, like, one of the days that I didn't have it. It was like, well, I don't have it. What's gonna happen if I don't? Nothing.

[Kia]

Right.

[Jade]

So whereas, you know, there are other times where it's a complete push through and that doesn't always need to be the case. And then by the time you're not really getting reward of rest anyway because you're so depleted, so you're not even, it's not even fulfilling in the way that it needs to be. So I, I, I really like that you brought that out.

[Kia]

And stillness is, is so necessary. It's foundational to really sort of hearing and receiving.

[Jade]

It's how nature moves.

[Kia]

Yeah. Like, there's so much power and stillness and the busyness of life has robbed us of that. The busyness of, of being an adult and juggling all the responsibilities and obligations of sort of taking care of ourselves and our. Absolutely. It's so easy to get subsumed in all of that. But being intentional about stillness and quietness and even like, stepping away.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Been doing a lot of work and one of the things is, as we move into the, the married piece and one of the things I'm going to marry or really commit to, I've been doing a lot of work in sort of my own. A spiritual grounding, reframing a lot of the unpacking and unlearning legalism and dissociating that away from my spiritual experience. Really committed to learning about what I believe from a place of relationship versus, like, ritual and routine or religious practice, practice like, and, and dissociated from that legalism and really following like, Jesus Christ life, like, and one thing I love about Jesus is that he knew how to leave. He knew how, he knew how to leave you alone. All right, I'm out. He knew how to, like, you know.

[Jade]

I'm, he wasn't with you.

[Kia]

He wasn't. And he knew how to go away and get by himself. And that fueled him to do what he was put on earth to do. And so I, as I want. That's one of the things that I want to take with me. Like, you know, really committed to that. You know who's really good at that, Our sister friend, you know, that's, you know, really good about taking this step away from all, like, cutting everything else off. Unplugging.

[Jade]

Yep, yep.

[Kia]

So that you can be, get still and get quiet so that you can hear and receive what you're supposed to be doing.

[Jade]

Absolutely. Yeah. Absolutely. Absolutely.

[Kia]

So, yeah, let's go into Mary again. Think about something that genuinely serves you in 2025. That you want to deepen or sustain in 2026. So if there's a practice or a principle that made you feel most like yourself. More. More like yourself. And again, it could be light or deep. So maybe it's wearing clothes that make you feel good instead of what I think I should wear. Or is it, you know, walking meetings on moving your bodies. Moving. Walking during your work day. Like, you know, sometimes. Like today I took half of my team homeroom meeting on the treadmill.

[Jade]

I love that.

[Kia]

And I was just.

[Jade]

Y' all are going to get this.

[Kia]

Yeah. Skincare regimen or if it's something like. Like we talk about choosing rest is resistance. Being honest about your capacity. Saying I can't do it.

[Jade]

That's been a bit. That's. That's been a very big one. Especially. I think the. The. The latter half of last year really burnt me the. Out from. Like, from, you know, we. We. It was beautiful that we started our tour. And, you know, it was a successful tool. Okay. I know we've said that many times.

[Kia]

It was. It really was.

[Jade]

It was a successful tool. It was. It felt very good, and it felt like everything that we stand for and speak about. Very true to call it.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

It was very true to getting grown, but aft. But during that and after that, in the loss of my grandmother, it just felt like the year snowballed into just. Just. Oh. Just overwhelmed.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And while there were many elements of it that I loved and that I would not. I would not change, I did have to. I did have to get really serious about what. What was not necessary in. In contributing to my burnout and understanding my own limitations on what I am able to do and what I'm not able to do and being okay with that. And so I'm. I'm really very resolved.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And being able to say I don't have it for that. And when I do have. And then there are things that I may not have it for, but I want to find it for.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know what I mean? And I don't want to be so tired from other things that don't have as much weight on them.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

For those things that I do want to find the energy for. Because the truth of the matter is we're gonna be. We're tired. We live in. In a society that exhausts us within itself. And so in order to even find the energy for the things that I love, and that really means something for me. That means I have to release some of the things that I think mean something to me. But they don't mean as much, honestly, which means getting real honest with yourself about that. That is one that I'm really committed to and committed to marrying. Also, a lot of health changes. You know, not to be cliche, but 40 really does bring a shift.

[Kia]

Honey, let's talk about it. Let's.

[Jade]

Let's get really down in not. And not just physical, which we will talk, we have to, and we'll continue to talk about, but a real emotional and spiritual, like, self shift that I don't even think you really understand what you're prepared for.

[Kia]

It's kind of like intentionally, but also involuntarily. I think there's something.

[Jade]

Yeah. Oh, yeah. It just. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kia]

It's like, oh, we're here now. Got it.

[Jade]

Yeah. And it comes, and it comes in so many ways. It comes through your, you know, your own mortality. It's put in your face quite often, even though it's. It's not quite there yet. It's. The people around you are getting older, you're losing loved ones. You know, you're. You start shifting your thoughts in how you view life, how you view your relationships, the relationships after you. You know what I'm saying? Noah brings a whole different perspective. So my health, you know, has to be pertinent. And while I've always thought that I've been pretty decent about it, I'm like, no, there's a lot more intentionality that can happen here. So I got really dedicated with myself, with my vitamins, which I have. Has never been a strong suit.

[Kia]

Yeah, same. I keep falling off. I keep falling off the wagon.

[Jade]

Sometimes I'm like, really? Well, entire life. Yeah, that's my entire life.

[Kia]

Sometimes I do very well, and then there'll be months where I just stop. And it's like, girl, I don't even really know why I stopped.

[Jade]

Nah, I was like, you know, we've got to be. We've got to really crazy. And then in order to be regular with these things, I was like, oh, you got to eat. And. Okay. Yeah, I started making. I did some batches of bone broth and some kimchi, and I started doing boiled eggs, kimchi, bone broth in the morning so I can take my vitamins. And also it has. All of those have really good nutrients, you know, making sure the workout is intentional to keep the body just, like, limber and being able to move. And, you know, I'm always good about my water, but, like, I'm just. I'm just trying to be way more intentional with my health.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And those types of things still enjoy. I still eat things I eat and yes, I do smoke my blood, but you know, can do everything. But all of the other things, I'm like, you know, let's, let's ramp these things up, our juicing, all of those things. And it's not even like a new year perspective. It was more of just like a, hey, again, you want to be here as long as you can within your control for your child, for yourself. And when you get to a certain point, you don't want to feel a certain way outside of just, you know.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Being older and your body deteriorating the way that it does. So like take some preventative measures to make sure that you, you got as much quality of life as you possibly can.

[Kia]

Yeah, I love that. I would say the same. I think for me it is in that space of sort of embracing and pursuing health and being more committed to health. My commitment as it relates to health and wellness is sort of, you know, doing so in a way that is less rigid and more respectful and, and, and like from a place of real, actual self love and self acceptance. I, I think, I think there's a part of me that, you know, I don't know. I think, you know, in, in the routines of things, I, I get sort of caught up in, oh, I'm gonna do five days of cardio and if I don't do five days, then it's like, dang. Well, sometimes it's like you need to just listen to your body and sometimes it is sort of meeting your body where it is as opposed to forcing it to do things and sort of finding that balance. Right. Where it's not like I'm making excuses, but more so I am accommodating.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

The reality of my life, my time, the way my days are set up. Like, you know, in an ideal world, like for example, I am really trying to accept that I'm not. One of the ways I'm moving into self acceptance is really accepting the reality that I'm not a morning person. Hello. I have tried to be so many times, but that's, it's just not me. The only, really like, only time I do not struggle to get out of bed is when I'm going to get my hair done for whatever reason. When I have a hair appointment, it's like I don't have a problem moving fast in the morning, but any other thing, it's like I just wanna.

[Jade]

Or a flight.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah, true. Whether a flight or a hair appointment, those are about it. Maybe a Nail appointment. But those are, those are, that's about it. Anything else is going to be a push. And so try as I might like, I, I, sometimes I, I would love to be one of the girls who can get up at 6am and go to the gym, get their workout in and then start their day. I have so much respect for those girls. I think they're superheroes and I want to be like them, but I'm not like them.

[Jade]

No.

[Kia]

That's just not how I'm set up. It's not. And it's.

[Jade]

Well, you're your own superhero.

[Kia]

And that's the thing. And that's the thing. Instead of me shaming myself for not being a 6am girlie, like just really leaning into the fact that I'm a 6pm Girly.

[Jade]

Yeah. And that's all right.

[Kia]

And that's okay. That's good.

[Jade]

Night crawlers unite. Yes. Okay.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

It's, it's how we've got, it's how we've gotten through. Now listen, the rest is part of that health that I talked about. Right. So I, I do know that I'm like at a certain point, take your ass to bed because you can't function.

[Kia]

Yes. That's another, that's another part that learned curve. It's like, man, you used to be able to stay up until 2am and.

[Jade]

Now you've got to go to bed. You've got to no longer night crawlers, you're evening crawlers. Like, go to bed. You look glow worse at 10:00pm okay, that's it. Yeah. So I'm, I'm working on that. But I, I, I'm with you there. And I think that that is okay. Like I'm also not, I gotta be a 6am Girly because I gotta take the, this to school. But also she knows what time it is.

[Commercial Announcer]

Exactly.

[Jade]

Very real time.

[Kia]

And I know that instead of sort of forcing myself to be something that I'm not, I'm moving more toward being grateful that my life has the flexibility that I can be what I need to be. You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

Yes, that's it. That right there, I'm grateful that right there I'm grateful.

[Kia]

That is, if, if I need to go lay down at 5 o', clock, I can and get back up at 8 and then hit it. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, you know. And I'm grateful that my life has the flexibility to be able to do that because I recognize that everybody doesn't have that. So instead of me, shaming myself for not being a 6am Girly. The beauty is accepting that I don't have to be. Ain't God good?

[Jade]

God is so good. Okay. Absolutely.

[Kia]

That is the blessing and that the life.

[Jade]

I was saying that the other day.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Because I, you know, we've had a break and I was like, you know, I'm not ready yet. Like, I'm still trying to get some things done and so forth and so on. And I was like, you know, you need to be really grateful that this is your job. And you know what I'm saying? You gotta go to work.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Like, you gotta go to work and life's gonna continue to have things for you to do. And you just. That's just what it is. But be grateful for the work that you get to do. And I have to. I do have to reframe that.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Sometimes.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know, because work becomes work. And I think that's when you also start to figure, okay, if work becomes work, then where do I find my passion?

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Where do I find my joy within that? You know? How did I lose sight of that as well? You know? And that's another thing that I know that I. I need to be committed to.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Marrying is not to be cliche, but you gotta for real, for real, tap into them pockets of joy. So if that means that you, you know, walk around your house stupid sometimes. You know what I'm saying?

[Kia]

Singing instruments.

[Jade]

Hello. When I on the porch, Justin heard me earlier and I was like, fresh goes better with meds. Toast fresher. You gotta find your mother the pockets or you will melt. No, that's so real. That is so real.

[Kia]

I mean, that was me doing my laundry this morning talking about Pet Land.

[Jade]

Discount for the best carpet can get.

[Kia]

I mean, really singing it.

[Jade]

And you singing that of all people.

[Kia]

That's what I'm saying.

[Jade]

Jokes.

[Kia]

But it is so good for the best carrot can get. I mean, first of all, let's. We need to spend the block on real.

[Jade]

Jingle.

[Kia]

Hello?

[Jade]

On real. We are missing jingle. The jingle. The touch.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

The feeling.

[Kia]

Listen.

[Jade]

The fabric of our lives.

[Kia]

We gotta go back.

[Jade]

You know, we don't give enough credit to one of the greatest qualities of plumbing. The flush. Yes. I'm referring to the toilet. Isn't science great? You just poop and then push this handle and it all goes away. I just. I mean, it's incredible. I wish cats could flush, but poor little ting tings don't have thumbs. So what do you do anyway? That's my daydream for the day. In the meantime, if that's your daydream as well, you can't make your cat grow thumbs, but you can switch your litter to box. Case in point, Boxy Pro. The pro stands for probiotics, which we put right in the litter where they stop the bacteria that causes odors. Boxypro's probiotics keep the box continuously odor free. You just scoop top off the box and you're done. Quite possibly forever. And how great would that be? It's almost like your cat could flush. No more dumping. And better yet, no more hoping. Your guests have an awful sense of smell. Now, listen, I'm neurotic, so my house never smells like cat. Never. Let's just be very clear. But I will tell you the same way that I hate air freshener because it makes your bathroom smell like poopy lavender or poopy vanilla or poopy flowers or whatever. I don't like traditional kitty litters that come straight out the box. Like, I feel like even if they have some sort of neutralizing something or other in them, they still end up smelling like, you know, kitty litter, poopy petunias. I don't prefer that. I prefer to smell nothing. And I actually switched to Boxy Pro for trill. It is hands down my favorite kitty litter that I've used. Add aside, I'm so grateful that when I open the packaging, it does not have a kitty litter smell. Because when I'm talking about this kitty litter smell, I'm talking about before it's even put in the box. I appreciate the fact that this is nothing. I smell nothing. It's incredible. So listen, if you're tired of switching glitters like I was looking for the right one, get boxy at box I E C A T dot com. It's the last litter you'll switch to, I promise. Enjoy. 30% off with code [e-mail] grown. That's B O X I E C A T dot com grown up. You're welcome.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, everybody, Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime friend and sometimes co host Woody Harrelson. It's called where everybody knows your name. And we're back for another season. I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to where everybody knows your name with me, Ted Danson, and Woody Harrelson sometimes, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Kia]

I want to share really quickly another thing I'm moving in yes and I more to come on this because this is something I'm thinking about it and since to our last conversation where we talked about the bingo cards and we both committed to doing more in the creation space, I think that one of the things I was working on and this sort of came through in my reflection time over break and and more to come on this because it's still sort of shaping up. I think another thing that comes in your 40s is, you know, reframing a lot of things. And in a lot of ways, you know, I am a recovering perfectionist, overachieving eldest daughter. Right.

[Jade]

I'm a recovering over absolutely. And yeah, yeah.

[Kia]

Living and negotiating the world, especially here recently has put a lot of things in perspective for me and I have had to face the fact that, you know, a lot of the ways in which I have identified myself or found identity in, you know, that's changing and that looks different as I grow and as I evolve and I'm sort of reconciling that and wanted to be more clear and intentional about how I move in the creator space because creating is something that I feel called to doing and it's in me and I have been sitting on a lot and but feeling like I need to step up in that regard and been thinking about wanting to do that intentionally. And so for a long time I think I was trying to make everything fit into neat categories like Kia the academic, Kia the podcaster, like, you know, team typing fast my personal growth journey. And so I would feel this pressure to pick one, one lane or even like, you know, Kia the makeup enthusiast or Kia who likes to shop and who likes fabulous things. Or so I feel like the thread of that, the thing that holds all those things together is, you know, self actualization and thinking intentionally about change and transformation. That's the thread that connects all of those different parts of myself and my work. And instead of picking a lane, I am Embracing into the fact that it's not a lane, it's more intersection. And I think all the aspects of my work, I help people, individuals, organizations, communities navigate change with intention. Not just any change, but the kind that closes gaps between who we are right now and who we're becoming, who we're meant to be. And my work lives at the cross section of personal growth, systemic change, spiritual liberation, and healing. And I am marrying the fullness of that work and creating in all of those spaces and being okay with that.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

And so more to come. You know, we're spinning the block on team typing fast and reframing it to not just be productivity for productivity's sake, or even toxic productivity that. That is grounded in systems of oppression, but more so how do we invest that energy and intention and really realizing who we are, what our purpose is, and how do we invest our energy and our skills into that and having the kind of impact like on the world? And so I'm committing, and you guys can. I'm saying this here on, on the show because I want to be held accountable to that. And we're moving in that direction. Team Type Effects has a new board of board of directors, board of advisors, and we're starting to sort of think about what the next round of that will look like in the content space. We're thinking about it. You know, I'm also doing some content in the area of being whole and being free, where I'm sharing some of that relearning and reframing that I'm doing for myself personally. So I'm excited about putting that together. And this is sort of where you, as you were talking about those pockets of joy. This is where I'm sort of pouring and, you know, I want to share what I'm learning and what I'm doing, and not just in a way that it's like, oh, look at my publications, but look at, you know, look at what this means and look at, you know, how do we get together and process this together as a community so that hopefully it can help and give others tools and. And spaces to work through this, like for ourselves. Because I believe that we are more than what we've accomplished and more than what we will accomplish. And I want to be a part of sort of embracing all of that, driving and helping all of us to embrace all of that. So that's one of the things I want to. To marry in 2026, and I'm looking forward to continuing to share that here in this space and hopefully other spaces too.

[Jade]

Yes. I am also marrying. I am also marrying my commitment to my.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

My. My love. Yeah. My, my, my. And you know, in all their facets, you know, food at the foundation, but, like, figuring out how I want to put that out into the world. I am exhausted by social media. But I also recognize the, the, the. I recognize the asset of it.

[Kia]

You know, the pros and cons. Everything.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

The good and the bad.

[Jade]

And I'm like, I gotta find.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

The balance of how I want to show up not. Not just in that space, but in my work in general. Right.

[Kia]

How to leverage it as a tool. It's supposed to be.

[Jade]

Exactly. And I haven't been super intentional about that. I have danced around pockets of it. I have, like, let little puffs of fairy dust of it show up at times. But I'm like, I haven't really put the full throttle commitment into. Into those endeavors. And I think part of it is because I wasn't quite figuring out the space that I felt like I fit in and there is no space.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And so I am forging that. That space. You know what I'm saying? And I've talked about that in many iterations before, and I'm like, why would that be any different than how you've. To move through life in general?

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

So I'm really finding a way to reframe what I do, how I do it in a way that feels really good and authentic to me.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And that is what will always resonate with your community and your audience when you know that you're doing it because it feels good to you. So I'm really married to that, which is why I'm putting a lot, a lot of intention into that. And you will see more. More on social, but you will not see more than what I want to get.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying?

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

And I. And I'm cool with that.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Like, I'm cool with that. At first I was, like, vexed about it and I'm like, no, I'm cool with it. Like, I. There's more that I want to do and y' all will see more, but it's not going to be more than what I want to do.

[Kia]

Yeah. And I also am. Wanted to commit to, like, being focused on myself and really sort of releasing that burden of, like, constant comparison. I think that social media can breed or feeling like, you know, this pressure to remain, quote, competitive. Right. And so. But rather trusting that, you know, whether the audience is meant to be intimate or super large, like, it will Be what it is supposed to be in the timing that it is supposed to be it. So I. I'm not doing this from a space of wanting to sort of amass a huge following or go viral or any of those things. Like, I want to do meaningful work. I. I really. I really do. Like, that's my heart. I want to do meaningful work. And. And I'm saying this because those pressures are real for me. Like, you know. You know, sometimes it's like we only think that things are successful if, like, a large quantity of people engage it. But that's not it. Like, sometimes.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

It is about intimate, meaningful engagement and. And real community building amongst people who want to be a part of a committee. Community versus just having a bunch of people to watch.

[Jade]

No.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I don't. And that's not what I'm looking for. You know what I'm saying? I don't. I'm not looking to be your next celebrity chef. You know what I'm saying? I'm not. I'm not looking for that, but I'm looking to. To do my work in a way that feels good to me, you know? And so I. I really want to make sure that I'm focused on that. And that means really asking myself questions and answering them honestly about how things resonate with me, about how they feel in my spirit, in my belly. You know what I mean?

[Kia]

True to you.

[Jade]

And also where I have fallen short and like, where I have to, like, really kind of. Kind of lock in.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And say, okay, this is where we really need to. This is. Since this is what we want to do, this is where we really have to put our focus. Yeah. So, yeah, I'm really. I'm very married to that. I'm very married to that. Rashida.

[Kia]

Our marriages are not going to be raggedy, though.

[Jade]

Hello. There will be no Kirk Frost energy in the building. Let's be clear. Good night.

[Kia]

All right. And speaking of Kirk Frost, let's move into things that we are leaving 2025.

[Jade]

Woo. First on my list, Kirk Frost.

[Kia]

Let's get him on out of here immediately.

[Jade]

E, medium and D. I don't even know where he is.

[Kia]

You.

[Jade]

I think he left.

[Kia]

Please carry on and go somewhere else with it. Okay, what are we done with? This could be spicy, honest, or even tender. What took more from you than it gave you in 2025 and so you giving it back. So whether that's like. Like I said, doom. Scrolling. Over committing. Following accounts that make me feel bad about myself. Hello. Good morning.

[Jade]

Over committing for me for sure. Over committed. Yeah, there's a lot of food content out there, like as it pertains to work.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jade]

There's a lot of food content out there that I enjoy and I don't need to be stewing over in my mind whether or not I need to be doing some variation of that. So I'm leaving that. I'm like, no, I'm gonna enjoy what the you doing because you do it well.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Jade]

And I will do things as I, you know, that, that makes sense for me and they will resonate. Yeah, I am definitely, definitely, definitely leaving. Over committed. Yeah, that is a number one for me. But that, but again, over committing in a way that exhausts me where I can't commit to the things that I want to commit to. Like my community is very important to me. And there are times where I am tired and I can't show up, but there are times where I'm tired and I really want to show up and need to show up, up. And so I, I wanna, I wanna lock in on what, what, what that means.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And that, and being honest about, like, is this necessary for me? How is this serving me? How is this serving somebody in my community? Am I going to be able to show up in a space where I'm actually going to be helpful or am I going to be, you know, have a grudge about this because I, I'm exhausted. Which don't have nothing to do with you. This is all my own work. So definitely that. Setting boundaries in that direction, you know, not allowing certain things, you know, my righteous indignation. And I'm not talking about world things, but just like daily things take me out of a space that are going to be harmful for me. Whether that be emotionally, physically or whatever the case is, you know what I'm saying? Down to yelling at these in the car. Some of y' all will get yelled at. I love that some of y' all still get yelled at. And then some of y', all, I'm like, you don't hear me? You're a idiot. Like, I'm all worked up.

[Kia]

And you down the street, I look.

[Jade]

Like an idiot here. And you, and here you are vibes cartelling down ocean. And I'm. And I'm stewing like it's living for what?

[Kia]

Exactly.

[Jade]

Exactly. I had to go to God awful KFC today. I can't even tell you the last time I've said that sentence.

[Kia]

Wow, me neither.

[Jade]

Exactly. Because I was taking Noah to dance and I just need to get her something to eat. And I usually bring her food to take, you know, so she can eat before Dan. But I didn't have time today. And so I was like, sorry, girl, we're gonna have to just bust it. She was not sorry. And I get there and I mean, chicken for everybody.

[Kia]

That's it.

[Jade]

The girl. The girl was I so awful that even though it was like, what the. What's her problem? I don't know. She got one right. But I. It. It didn't upset me. I said that girl might be having a hard day. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? I probably would be irritated as if. If it was. Was six degrees outside and I was working a drive through window too.

[Kia]

So. Yes.

[Jade]

Take these chicken tenders and we're gonna take this little. To dance and.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And I don't even know. I don't even. At this point, I can't even tell you what that girl looked like. So, you know, just not letting anything take me out of a space that I don't want to be in.

[Kia]

I love that.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying? Really focusing on that. And I think I've had to really lock in on that because my whole hormones are shifting like crazy.

[Kia]

Well, same.

[Jade]

Especially with this fibroid. So like they. They be going from wonky to honky. Okay. When I say honky, I mean crackering out. So.

[Kia]

J.

[Jade]

Acting like a K. Okay. And it be justifiable, but then it also be like, what's going to change?

[Kia]

Just calm down, please.

[Jade]

So. So I'm like. As I'm really tuning into my. And I'm like, all right, this. Okay. This feels like something that's a little out of my element. What can I do that I can control right now that'll help me to kind of level set so, you know, just like. Like that I'm leaving that kind of. And you like, you can still get it, but I. You'll get it, you know, very sparingly. When I feel like for real giving it to you.

[Kia]

That's it. Also, I love that.

[Jade]

Like, I love that them six agents on my floor. I cuss you all out Groundhog day style. Every day I would cuss you out and I would be. And I would walk away whistling like goddamn Dixie afterwards. It would bring me joy. My vagina will thump. You know what I'm saying? But like, some of you other don't do it.

[Ted Danson]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Yeah, Right.

[Jade]

Okay. I'm with it. Yeah, I'm with it. What you leaving? What you. What you hardcore leaving?

[Kia]

Hardcore leaving. I think Or I am, I am trying to leave the narrative that I'm behind or I'm not doing enough. Like you know, in the spirit of always feeling like I got to be doing 13000 things at once or I always have to do things perfectly. I was talking to some of my friends at the gym, shout out to her flexing, especially my girlies in the, in step class. Right. Because I think one of the things that I have enjoyed about step class is that it has really been me building the skill from the ground up and that has required me to be bad at it or accepting that I'm bad at it but you know, sticking with it because I think my practice has been oh, I'm bad at this, I'm not doing it no more. But no, is committed to continue to practice something until you get it right. And that has sort of turned the lights on for me in a lot of other areas. And when I think about my work on sort of healing from perfectionism and accepting self and my circumstances as an act of faith and trust that I am where God will have me right now. So I should take the pressure to be, you know, where somebody else is and doing what someone else is doing. That's something that I am working on, on really leaving in 2025 and moving forward. And I think also, you know, that's something I'm hoping to leave behind but also knowing that it's a habit and a skill that I'm building. So being committed to having to continue to make that commitment to leave it behind if I find myself sort of going back to that default setting.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

And even in an absent minded way. And so I think I've been working on thinking about what are the things that I need to do to set myself up for success in that regard. And I think curating what I take in has been a big part. So in the spirit of doom scrolling but also being intentional about the content that I engage and when I engage it. So there are some content creators that I love and I love who they are as people and I love the content they put out but they trigger me to compare myself to them. And so that I have to, I have to engage with them in a very particular way. And it's not their fault, it's not mine, it's just something I'm working on right now. And so there are some times when I would need to mute somebody or you know what I'm saying? And that's just honest. And I'm not, you know, I think.

[Jade]

I, I Think there. I think there's a lot of strength in that. You know what I'm saying? A lot of strength in that vulnerability.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And. And, And, And, And. And. And you're gonna make somebody feel seen, you know what I'm saying? Because I think it's real.

[Kia]

I think, you know, sometimes we need to be honest about the ways that insecurity can creep in, and it's. And it doesn't necessarily have to mean that you love yourself any less, but, you know, just being honest, like, I find that when I watch this person, there's a. There's a fine line between admiring and emulating somebody. Then. Then to feeling like the only way to do is successfully is to do it just like them. And it's not. I don't think it's. It's. We should not feel bad about that, because a lot of the spaces that we are socialized in cultivate that kind of toxic competition.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Particularly as an academic. You know what I'm saying? Like, they all make us feel like there's just one spot that we're all vying for when the reality is there is space for everybody to win and thrive. The key is learning how you thrive and, you know, your way of doing.

[Jade]

It in your lane.

[Kia]

In your lane. So sometimes you have to hyper focus on your lane, and that means you. You stay on your own mat and not worry about what the next girl is doing. And that don't mean that you hate the next girl. It just means that I need to focus on me right now, and that's just honest. And so if y' all want to make that shady and messy and nasty, that's not it. But that's what I'm telling you.

[Jade]

No, I don't think it comes across that way at all. And I think also to your earlier point, there's something about Lee there. There's power in leaning into the bad, too. Right. So, like, what I've realized with myself again, if we're gonna speak, you know, using content as a lane, I've got the worst I known to men. Okay. I. I've got horrible angles, terrible lighting. It's not my strength. I'm cool with that. I was not. Because then I was like. Is stressed. Nah. But it's pretty bad, though. But I. It's not, you know, like, I'm. No, I'm fee. Rest in peace. Cool. Exactly. But I also, like, I've. It's not, you know, it ain't. It ain't some of the beautiful polish that I see and I Said, you know what? Maybe we lean into that. And that's where I had to make a video at the top of the year. And I was like, let me show you all six things that I cooked. This year is the only six things I documented all night in double time.

[Kia]

Like, look at my face. Making content with the green screen. I was proud.

[Jade]

I was proud. You saw me. It took me 40 days and 40.

[Kia]

Nights to make that. J made a video.

[Jade]

I'm here for it.

[Kia]

I reposted it. I reposted on the Clock app. Like, look at my sister. I appreciate it.

[Jade]

You better go ahead.

[Kia]

I was so excited.

[Jade]

Now, now again, it took me forever. So after I posted it, I was like, I'm out.

[Commercial Announcer]

But.

[Jade]

But I said, you know, maybe I lean into the bed. And so then I made another video. It's not posted yet, but I made another one. I was like, all right, I'll give you all recipes my way, and then I'll figure out how I want to put my out there. But I'm gonna lean into the terrible of it. I've seen people give speeches where they've fumbled and done all kinds of stuff all over the place, and they're the most endearing. Yeah. Speeches that I've heard. You know what I'm saying? So it's not always about the polish or the prim or whatever the case is. Sometimes you gotta lean into the bad of it. And also what your strength. Use your strength in whatever that is.

[Kia]

You get better by doing it. Not by.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Not by obsessing over what you've done to the point that you don't put it out. Like, that's not a way to get better. And I'm in the same boat. I mean, it's. Since I've showed you, like, you know, I've been creating content for over a year. I got a Google Drive full of that I've never put out because I sit here and it's like, oh, man. But it don't look like this. And I don't know how to do this. And it's like, girl, I mean, you just gotta do it and put it up raggedy. You gotta just throw a bunch of stuff at it until you figure out how you do it. That's the only way you're gonna figure.

[Jade]

Out how you do it and which. How you like to do it too. You know what I mean? So I, I. Yes, I'm. I'm right there with you do. And I'm like, you know, some is bad, and I'm gonna use that to my advantage. You know what I'm saying? Because some I do is good. It's really good, too. And that matters as well.

[Kia]

Amazing.

[Jade]

And nobody wants any, like, nobody. Nobody is good at everything, I pray. What was that little. Who's that boy? Sky Sinette.

[Kia]

Huh?

[Jade]

He's online reading and stumbling and learning. Are trying to shame him. And I'm like, like, yo, I'm glad this little nigga's up here reading this book. He's got influence over these young people, so hopefully they'll pick up a book, too. And I appreciate the fact that he's not pretending to know words. Newton comma Cameron. I'm glad he's not doing that. What?

[Kia]

Did you see that, sis?

[Jade]

I made up a word. I made up a word. I hate like that. Let me tell you, nothing dries my twat up faster, okay? Than a wrong and strong wrong. Arrogant. I mean, boldly incorrect.

[Kia]

There's nothing more maddening.

[Jade]

Oh, God. God, drive me up. Dry up the. No, we go full boys to men in the desert when they start doing that foolishness. That nigga is. He's got awful. He's got awful.

[Kia]

I have. I have listened. And he's not the only one. There are several of them out there.

[Jade]

Who.

[Kia]

At the. At the sight of them, I mean, my insides begin to boil.

[Jade]

I'm sure there's a batch of them. A batch of them.

[Kia]

I mean.

[Jade]

And there's just something particularly infuriating about a Who is who speaks with a condescending tone, but they're stupid. It's just something particularly infuriating about that where I'm like, I don't even want. I don't even care to waste my energy anymore having a conversation with you. I don't need to prove you wrong. I don't need to cuss you out. I just don't need to exert any energy.

[Kia]

I cannot handle. I cannot handle it because the nerve of people who don't know what the word patronizing means to be patronizing is just. What, like imagine, Imagine.

[Jade]

Imagine. Imagine that. So I. I won't actually. Because I'll never sit down and have a conversation with this. And that's not me being closed. No. That's just me knowing. I'm like, I'm not putting myself in that position.

[Kia]

And if you want to know, if you want to talk about. Since we were talking about the things that being 40 has really solidified for me, me being in my 40s, my capacity to divest. I know how to. I mean, it'll be It'll be. I will leave and be gone for two weeks before, you know, I left. I've left. I have left this.

[Jade]

I'm punch the clock. I'm out of here.

[Commercial Announcer]

Okay?

[Kia]

I know how to get the hell out of here.

[Jade]

Okay? I have no desire to be in this space.

[Kia]

And I'm gone. Okay?

[Jade]

And because I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue.

[Kia]

I'm not.

[Jade]

I don't want to beat that with a bottle. No, I just don't. I just. I just, Just want. I want to go home and roll up and watch Bob's Birds.

[Kia]

I would rather go and read my book. Exactly. I'm gonna go home and watch my book. I'm gonna play the magic sword on my phone while I watch. While I watch my program. That's what I'm gonna do. Okay.

[Jade]

Exactly. I'm gonna recipe test some bread.

[Kia]

My feet together.

[Jade]

Exactly. I don't have time. I don't.

[Kia]

I truly, truly. And I'm not gonna go back. I'm forth with you blacks about anything. I'm literally going to be in my house with the alarm on. And you guys have a blessed night.

[Jade]

I'm not doing it. And I'm gonna be perfectly. Let me top of this break. I didn't leave. I didn't leave my house for a week and a half. Like, I'm really good. I can. I'm really good about being in my space. So good.

[Kia]

So good.

[Jade]

And minding my business.

[Kia]

So good.

[Jade]

So I'm. I'm definitely leaning into that as much as I possibly need to.

[Kia]

I mean, and that has been our f. Marry kill game. And I have enjoyed it, sis.

[Jade]

I have as well.

[Kia]

I hope I will. I will leave these prompts in the description box for those who are interested. And I would implore you and encourage you to just, you know, spend some time in your own reflection. And as you're. I think it's a good exercise to just sort of think about and be intentional about what are the practices that you want to cultivate, commit to or, you know, eliminate from your. From your Life in. In 2026. And so, yeah, I'm excited. You want to move on. And. And I think we got a few listener. Listener letters and things of that nature.

[Jade]

We do. Okay, let's go ahead and hit it then. Let's get to those. Okay.

[Ted Danson]

Hey, everybody. Ted Danson here to tell you about my podcast with my longtime friend and sometimes co host, Woody Harrelson. It's called where everybody knows your name and we're back for another season. I'm so excited to be joined this season by friends like John Mulaney, David Spade, Sarah Silverman, Ed Helms, and many more. You don't want to miss it. Listen to where everybody knows your name with me, Ted Danson and Woody Harrelson sometimes, wherever you get your podcasts.

[Commercial Announcer]

Hey, it's Olivia from Ollie Getting better sleep this year is totally doable, but skip the lettuce tea in the mouth tape. These sleep trends are getting unhinged. Ollie sleep gummies help you fall asleep, stay asleep and wake up refreshed. Just melatonin, l theanine and botanical extracts. No weird wet salad aftertaste. Better sleep can start tonight. Go to o l l y.com to choose your snooze. These statements have not been evaluated by the Food and Drug Administration. This product is not intended to diagnose, treat, cure or prevent any disease.

[Jade]

Honestly, Truly okay, we're gonna do some listener letters to start some lovely listener letters to start off the year for our Honesty Box segment this particular episode. And we'll start off hi ladies.

[Ted Danson]

Hi.

[Jade]

I wanted to take a moment to write it and thank you both for the recent conversation around grief. They truly resonated with me because I find myself in what feels like a very new and unexpected season of grief. I lost my mother when I was 7 years old. For all intents and purposes, I picked myself up by my bootstraps and kept pushing forward. I graduated from high school, went to college, earned my masters, bought a home. Mother kept her presence close. I also carry her name, as does my daughter. So in many ways she has always been with us. What I didn't expect was this new wave of grief at 40 years old, 33 years after losing my mom this year, my daughter turned 7, the same age I was when my mom passed. I truly thought I had already grieved everything there was to grieve. But watching my 7 year old has opened something new in me. I find myself thinking if I were no longer here today in the home I built for us, that would be a defining moment in her life. And that realization has been been heavy in ways I didn't anticipate. Now I feel like I'm grieving alongside my daughter even though she has no idea I'm holding space for the 7 year old version of myself, the little girl who in December of her seventh year had lost her mother just weeks earlier. All of this is to say thank you. Thank you for creating space for these conversations. Thank you for your genuineness and transparency You've created something truly special, and you're helping so many of us continue to get grown in the most meaningful ways. I look forward to the day you ever say, we. We grew. I. I don't look forward to the day you ever say, we grown. We not can't grow no more. But until then and beyond, thank you for what you're building. Wishing you both a happy holiday season and all the best. And that's from gratitude. With gratitude from Teresa.

[Kia]

Thank you, Teresa.

[Jade]

We're holding you.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. I appreciate that. That is just. That is really just food for my soul. Yeah. As I shared on the grief episode, I sometimes can carry a little fear about the. The fact that my grief can be very present in who I am and how I show up. As, you know, as Tracy May said when we were on the episode, like, you know, I. I told her, sometimes I get scared that grief is a part of my personality. And she was like, it is.

[Jade]

And that's.

[Kia]

And that's okay. But remember that our grief is proof of how deeply we loved, and that love does not have an expiration date. And so as we sort of grow and evolve and matriculate through the different phases of our lives, it will continue to surface in different ways. And I like to think that that's because there are different lessons that it is sent to teach us. And I. I am with you in that. I am with you in that in a very real way. So thank you so much for. For sharing that what we are doing is helpful, because that is something that we always aim to be. And know that you. Your space at the kitchen table is permanent. So continue to. To sit with us and you're. And. And thank you for sharing, truly.

[Jade]

Absolutely. Absolutely. We're really grateful for this space, even for ourselves.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying? I'm in a season of grief as well, in a different way. Like, I have my girl. I'm grieving my grandma, grieving my family. I'm grieving the shift of that and grieving a life that is. No, Like.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I was looking at old pictures of Noah. I was looking at old. I was like, that doesn't exist anymore, and it will never exist again.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And that brings another wave of emotion.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Oof. Christ.

[Kia]

That's all a part of it, I think. You know, and. And we are. One of the things that has been weird about 2026 to me is that it. All of the 2016 nostalgia.

[Jade]

I don't.

[Kia]

I'm trying not to judge it because I feel Like, I'm trying not to judge it because I feel like, no, no judgment.

[Jade]

I just don't get it.

[Kia]

I don't get it. But I also feel triggered by it, because 2016 was the year, you know?

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

It was the year. And so you're right. You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

So it was.

[Kia]

It's like, dang. When I think about. When I see people reflecting on what they were doing in 2016, when I look at old pictures, I only think about those times with respect to when it. Oh, this was. This was two weeks before. Oh, this was. Yeah, Three weeks after. And that's just like the lens through which I see 2016 now. And so. Yeah, so. And I mean, I have had to be really particular about how I engage because I don't want to rain on y' all's parade. Like, I don't want. You know, it's like, y'. All. Y' all deserve to go back and look at your old hairstyle from 2016 and reflect. You deserve that.

[Jade]

Yeah, I want that for you. Absolutely.

[Kia]

But I just also know that. That I can't. I can't. I can't.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

And that's okay. And that's okay. Yeah, that's okay.

[Jade]

I didn't even think about that. All right, our next one says, hi, ladies. Beautiful Takiya and Jay. Hey. All right, come on. I spelled it right. My name is Tiffany and I wanted to reach out to share my gratitude for your show. I've been a loyal listener for a few years and I'm happy to be a supporter on Patreon, especially during these unpredictable times. Okay. Come on, sister. I recently celebrated my birthday in October by taking a two week solo trip to Japan, period. It was a life changing experience. Though I was nervous about traveling that far alone, I went because I needed to prove to myself that I could accomplish anything without fear. Your podcast truly carried me through every leg of the trip on the bullet. Trains, buses, and planes. Okay. As a black woman in an environment where blackness is a low percentage, not a bad experience, just different. I felt an even stronger connection to the sense of home, familiarity, encouragement, and community that your podcast provides. During that time of stillness where no one looked like me or spoke my language, I greatly valued your weekly communication and conversations. Please know how much you are appreciated. Soon after returning, my five year relationship ended and it's been emotional. Emotionally devastating. I'm starting over again with a new place, a new perspective, and a new therapist. I'm actively working to rebuild my self worth and put myself in a position to receive healthy love, no longer accepting someone, making me justify my presence in their life. Say it again. In this journey of starting over, reclaiming my peace, and finding security within myself, I am incredibly grateful for the resources and tools you bring awareness to through your. Your work. I have learned on your conversations, encouragements, and insights more than ever this year. And I just want to say thank you. I would love to see you all in Atlanta at some point. Come soon, come through. Thanks again. Peace and love. And that's from Tiffany.

[Kia]

This is so on time, and I'm so grateful. I think, you know, Jade and I talk a lot about this and just sort of as we continue to invest.

[Jade]

In.

[Kia]

Really pouring ourselves into this show and wanting it to be all that we see it as, and, you know, we are grateful that we've been able to grow it in this way. And I will say I. I'm so grateful that it is. It is connecting with. With people.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

And that people are seeing the value in it. So going. Going back to, you know, and I'm not. I'm not complaining, but, you know, the podcast space is huge and it's saturated now. And I think when we think about. I was even talking to Crystal about this because I was looking at. There's a Golden Globe for best podcast, and all the people that were nominated were white actors and actresses.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And like npr. And so I just think about how much the podcast landscape has evolved since we entered the space, and it can be challenging to sort of find your place and wonder if it's connecting or if people are still finding it, the value in it, when it is not sort of elevated and amplified in even ways that it used to be.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

And so to hear that and receive these thoughtful notes of people who are like, hey, girl, we listening. And we are appreciative. It really does something for me. So thank you, Teresa. Thank you, Tiffany. This has really been a lift to my spirit today. Thank you.

[Jade]

It's very validating. You know, Kia, and I don't. Don't just hop on a microphone. Like there's thought and planning and not, you know, necessarily what we're gonna to say, but, you know, just making sure that we are bringing themes and guests and in true intention to. To this platform, there is a team that puts a lot of intention behind the scenes into making sure that we stay authentically who we are and who we want to be and have the conversations we want to have and talk to the people that we want to talk to. And so I'm really grateful for that I'm grateful that people, it resonates with people. I'm grateful that there are people who dedicate time to helping this to, to go because it, it's just been the two of us for so long, you know what I mean? And, and like you said, you don't know. You don't know if it's hitting exactly. And say you just don't know, you'd be talking into the ether, y', all talking, post that picture, talking to the poster, talking about, these are my Internet friends. We just be like shouting into a mountain void.

[Kia]

Just over here, like, and.

[Jade]

Don'T know what's what. So I'm really grateful that it resonates. And we in community, we don't use that loosely at all. We really don't. And so these are, these are so timely. And, and with that, I think we'll close out to celebrate a member of our community at an off time that we generally don't. But I would like to submit a graduation shout out surprise for my wife, who is a faithful listener. Hey, all right, so here we go. My shout out is for my wife, Dulce, who's graduating this December with her bachelor's degree in sociology A. This degree has been a long time coming and I couldn't be more proud. It has been a long road as she deferred her dream to earn her degree back when we were young and in a hurry after years of trying to find the right time, after our fourth baby went to school, it was her time to study. And wouldn't you know it, Covid happened. Not wanting to study online, she waited for schools to reopen and dove in. And now, after all these years, she's finally getting her due and she graduates with honors, studying in her second language, by the way. And she deserves all her flowers, me, our four children, and her late mother. Rest, rest in peace. Are so proud. Enjoy your victory. You deserve it. And that's from your husband, David Dulce. Oh, I love that. Proud of you. I love that. Proud of you.

[Kia]

Proud of you.

[Jade]

Oh, my God. Listen, listen. Let me tell you about, Let me tell you about stick wittedness, honey. It's not easy, but my God, it's so rewarding.

[Kia]

It is.

[Jade]

It's so rewarding. Yes. And you got four kids, man, and there is.

[Kia]

Yeah. And there is no time line like, you know, like you get it when you get it. It don't you get it when you get it. You get it when you get it.

[Jade]

You get it when you supposed to get it.

[Kia]

And so everybody's timeline is not the same. There's no universal sort of shared, conventional timeline for what, how these things are supposed to happen. And, you know, I, I trust and believe that, that this is divine timing in, in alignment with your purpose and what you're supposed to be doing. And so, you know, I'm so proud of you for cultivating your skill set and preparing yourself for your dreams, whatever.

[Jade]

They are, and to carry them out in the way you wanted to carry them out.

[Kia]

And at the time, I don't want to do. Exactly.

[Jade]

I don't want to do online classes, so I'm not going to. And I think that's such a beautiful lesson. Such a beautiful lesson. Dulce, I hope that you feel as celebrated as you are. I hope you feel as proud of yourself as we do. I'm always reticent to say that because I just, you know, but I'm like, I hope you. I, I hope you're proud. I hope you're proud. We're proud. That's just what it is. Sorry, but.

[Kia]

No, we are.

[Jade]

Well, I hope you are, and I hope that you are really celebrating yourself in every way that you deserve. This is beautiful. This is beautiful. Congratulations. Shout out to you, David, you better know what your wife is into. You better pay the attention. I love it. I love it. I love it. Well, I think that's going to tie up our listener letters this week. I thought this would be a lovely way for us to start off the new year and connect with our community. We love, love, love hearing from you all. So please continue to write in to hellottengrown. Co, your honesty box questions, your, your, your, your celebrations, your wins, your gripes, your petty pe. Just all of those things. Send them to hello. At Getting grown. We're gonna go into a little self care and then hop out with these petty peas, period. All right, y', all, it's time for the self care. And I took care of myself in the biggest way over this holiday break.

[Kia]

Oh, yeah.

[Jade]

Okay. With the, the kitchen table talk conversation we had and me saying that I really wanted to, really wanted to really lock in on what just my entire, like, vision for myself. Part of that is I was like, you. You have to first create a space that feels good for you to practice that craft in and, you know, and all of those things. So I, you know, I do not own my home. I live in an apartment. And so in very New York City fashion, I remodeled it myself because a deposit, like, we're not getting that back anyway. You are gonna find every way to make sure I don't get it. So I went full throttle. I'd had these things on hold for a while. I had a wallpaper that I wanted to do a little like, backsplash and cover my countertops. And I went to the, to the store. I got some paint. I painted all my cabinets this avocado bok choy green.

[Kia]

All right.

[Jade]

I put up some mushroom wallpaper.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I have like a emerald kind of backsplash. And then I did this, this butcher block cover for the counters. Feels like a whole new space. I tell you that. It feels like a whole new space. And then the trim is vanillin. So that paint was vanillin. And then the, the cabinets were bok choy. Got some hat and some knobs. Like really just did a little judge. Yeah. To make the space feel what. Like what I wanted it to feel. And my good girlfriends came over and helped me to paint. We had a paint day.

[Kia]

Love that.

[Jade]

And order Chinese food and play d' Angelo all day and, and just got to work. And I'm just really a. I'm grateful for my community. Like one of my. I was talking to one of my girlfriends. Diverting from what? So, yes, that's how I took care of myself. I'm so happy I pulled the trigger on that. But I was talking to one of my, my, my good sister girlfriends and she, she was like, you know, bitch, I never thought I'd be a washed up Puerto Rican bitch in my house on a Friday night. But she goes, here I am with all these Puerto kids running around happy, happily washed, happily, you know, a little bit drunk, smoking my joy and sitting with my sisters. And I was like, eating fish and, and she said, and you know, I'm in a space where I want, I want to come over your house and we clean together. You know what I'm saying? We make us a drink, we roll up and we clean together. Like, let's do some in your house that you've been wanting to do. Come over.

[Kia]

I went.

[Jade]

We went to her house and did some wallpaper in her. Lit her kitchen a while back, like, and that feels good. It's intimate time. It's quality time. It's productive time. And I hate brunch at this point. So, like, we have created these spaces where we really assist each other in the ways that we need, you know, and really show up in the ways that we need. I. I also have so much love for her. She's taking care of two kids whose mothers got. Whose mother got deported along with her own kids, you know what I'm saying? And she came and brought the baby over here and we painted these cabinets and, and you know, talked about life and talked about the state of the world and, and it's just, I'm, I'm, I'm grateful for those spaces and those are the spaces I realized where all the healing happens.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

For me, you know what I'm saying? That's where all of the healing happens. Happens when I'm spending time with the people that I like, genuinely love. That's what really takes care of myself and my soul. You know, I was in my house with my family all holiday break and then I had those moments to do that and did something that felt good and I did it with people that I love and that really, that really held me in a way that I needed. So that's my self care this week.

[Kia]

Come on.

[Jade]

Love that.

[Kia]

I'm excited.

[Jade]

I know that sounded very chaotic and description to you all, but you will see it and it's actually very lovely.

[Kia]

I'm very excited. I'm very excited and I'm very proud of you for, for, for doing it. Something you've been talking about for a little while. And so I'm glad that you did that for yourself and I'm excited to, to watch all the things that you'll create in that space. I'm sure it will inspire all, all kinds of innovation and ideas in your brain.

[Jade]

Yes. I'm already like, I already got motivated, so. So yeah, I just, I just needed to intentionally set a space for myself that felt good. And I said let's, let's just, you know, stop talking about it and be about it.

[Kia]

So yeah.

[Jade]

Yeah, I'm glad I did that. What you got? What. How did you take care of yourself?

[Kia]

I would say over break, I took care of myself by truly unplugging and being present. Like really just sort of being present with family, being present with friends, with myself and really focus on like eliminating the distraction. So again, as we were talking about before, like pursuing stillness and really letting it do its work in me. And I think even now as I'm sort of walking through a season of huge shift, like personally I am, I am working on giving myself space to navigate that as it comes as opposed to feeling like I need to do that in a very specific way. You know, just sort of checking in and doing what feels right. Praying and trying to be mindful.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And really being led to sort of just negotiate this time and trust that, you know, God will show me what to do, how to do it. Because that's. That's what I. I really need right now. So really trying to. And it's a work. It's a practice sort of rewiring my brain not to worry about what I should be doing, quote unquote, but more so walking through this season attentive to what my body and my heart and my spirit are. Are leading me to do. So that's my self care.

[Jade]

Yes. I love that. I think this is a perfect way to start the new year. I don't know. Do you want to forego a petty peef or do you want to do a petty peeve? What do you think?

[Kia]

What feels right? I mean, I think. I think we're. Do you want to save it? We can save it.

[Jade]

Let's save it and end on a good note since it's our first episode of the year. Yeah. There will be plenty of shit that will get on my nerves. And. And I already have a running list.

[Kia]

I do, too.

[Jade]

I mean, I'm not prepared either way.

[Kia]

But I'm also very, very. I'm aligned with letting our conversation sort of end in a space of. Of care. And there's plenty of space and time to be petty because, you know, that is also who we are.

[Jade]

Okay. Don't get it twisted. You want to talk about something? I'll marry.

[Kia]

This is who I am. I don't have to marry.

[Jade]

Okay. Okay. It's my soul, so.

[Kia]

We love y' all so much.

[Jade]

Thank you.

[Kia]

This is healing, like I said, for me, I have enjoyed this. I miss you guys. I'm grateful. Grateful to be back. And we thank you for your patience. You know, as I said, I'm negotiating a season of change, and we needed to push back a bit this week, so I appreciate in advance your grace for this episode. Coming out a little late, but we're. You know, I'm. I'm gonna keep y' all in. In the.

[Jade]

Dear God, we here.

[Kia]

That's it.

[Jade]

We here. So color. Make sure you all are drinking your water.

[Kia]

So absolutely.

[Jade]

It's essential to the hydration of yourself, your life. Okay. In your soul. Make sure you are minding your business.

[Kia]

Oh, yes.

[Jade]

All right. Say the up out of whatever these people got going on. They're dedicated and committed to being hateful. And so, you know, we will watch it burn and we will dance.

[Kia]

And we were worried.

[Jade]

You know, worry about ourselves.

[Kia]

Do.

[Jade]

We'll worry about ourselves. That's it. And make sure you are moisturizing. It's Brick.

[Kia]

I mean, the hawk is circling.

[Jade]

Circling six degrees today. My feets are cold right now.

[Kia]

Recording.

[Jade]

I got on two pairs of socks.

[Kia]

I'm. I'm. I got on a slap sock. Okay.

[Jade]

And a space heater at my feet. And still. So make sure in all of this you all are moisturizing from the rooted to the tuda. Because it's very essential in making sure that your black does not crack. Cuz it absolutely will if it's dry.

[Kia]

That's it. Bye, y'.

[Jade]

All. All right, Tata. When it's this cold, curl up with a snack that's cozy and delicious like my mochi ice cream. My mochi is scoops of premium ice cream wrapped in soft dough with delicious flavors like strawberry and mango. It's creamy on the inside and chewy on the outside and only 70 calories apiece. Grab a warm blanket and snuggle up with a purple box of my mochi ice cream today. It's the perfect wintertime treatment.