Gettin’ Grown – “Eff/Marry/Kill”

Hosts: Jade & Kia
Release Date: January 22, 2026
Network: Loud Speakers Network

Episode Overview

In this episode, Jade and Kia kick off 2026 with their signature blend of humor, honesty, and reflection, unpacking the challenges and lessons of the new year. Centered around an “F/Marry/Kill” thematic exercise, they intentionally reflect on what habits, mindsets, and experiences they want to revisit, commit to, or leave behind as they continue to "learn how to adult." The conversation is wide-ranging—touching on political issues, personal growth, Black womanhood, grief, self-care, and the realities and joys of being in their 30s and 40s.

Main Themes & Purpose

• Intentional Reflection: Using the “F/Marry/Kill” framework, the hosts explore how to move thoughtfully from one year into the next, reflecting on life, habits, and growth.
• Living with Duality: Acknowledging the coexistence of hardship and beauty in adulthood and the Black community’s resilience.
• Community & Authenticity: Validating experiences shared by listeners and stressing the importance of authenticity and small, meaningful connections.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Welcoming 2026 & Check-In

01:37–06:06

• Both hosts reflect on 2026 starting “hot” and share gratitude for being able to return to their community and podcasting partnership.
• Kia: "2026 came in kind of hot. We will process that at a later time. But you know, I’m just working through it and moving through with gratitude." (04:36)
• Jade emphasizes the necessity of making spaces of peace amid ongoing global and personal chaos.

2. World Events & Emotional Realness

06:10–11:09

• Jade recaps ongoing global conflicts in Gaza, Sudan, and Venezuela, naming injustice and expressing frustration and empathy.
• On emotional exhaustion: “I love my good holy people out there who wish the best for everybody. I don’t wish the best for everybody. I wish the worst for them.” (08:34)
• Both reflect on the tension between needing to dissociate for self-preservation and remaining vigilant about injustice.

3. Duality: Joy and Suffering

11:12–15:17

• Kia and Jade discuss “the duality” of living through high highs and low lows.
• Kia: “The work is in figuring out how to hold both...and continue to leverage all of that and cultivate self and purpose and impact, because those are the things that I value.” (11:22)
• Jade: “I think both can exist at the same time. Things are really hard and really ugly and also beautiful things have been born out of disgusting circumstances and will continue to be so.” (14:23)

4. F/Marry/Kill (Kitchen Table Talk): Intention Over Performance

21:54–42:13

A. F — “Fact”/Try Again

25:11–29:37

• Jade: Plans to continue growing her solo food events, after successfully hosting her first and feeling empowered to expand.
  • “I’m committed to growing all of my solo folks food endeavors — like I’m really finding many different branches.” (26:11)
• Kia: Committed to more solo travel after a transformative solo vacation that became a personal retreat.
  • “It was empowering to sort of move through the world that way and take ownership of pouring into myself after a hard and heavy personal time.” (28:51)
• Both discuss the importance of reframing rest as essential, not a reward.

B. Marry — Commit To/Deepen

32:34–57:39

• Jade:
  • Emphasizes prioritizing health with “way more intentionality”—from vitamins to movement, juicing, and diet, for herself and her daughter.
  • Getting serious about boundaries and only committing where it matters to avoid burnout.
  • "I'm really committed to marrying...those endeavors...and finding a way to reframe what I do, how I do it, in a way that feels really good and authentic to me." (55:57)
• Kia:
  • Embracing spiritual grounding over legalism; following Christ’s example in solitude and self-restoration.
  • Accepting herself as not a “6am girlie”—leaning into her own rhythms and self-acceptance: “Instead of me shaming myself for not being a 6am girlie, I’m moving more toward being grateful that my life has the flexibility that I can be what I need.” (43:01)
  • Marrying her identity as a creator, rejecting perfectionism and systemic pressures, and intersecting her many facets (academic, podcaster, etc.) around intentional change and self-actualization. “All the aspects of my work, I help people, individuals, organizations, communities navigate change with intention.” (51:55)

C. Kill — Leave Behind

59:14–75:38

• Overcommitting and comparison, especially in the social/content creation space.

  • Jade: “Overcommitting in a way that exhausts me where I can’t commit to the things that I want to” (60:11) and “There’s a lot of food content out there… I enjoy it, I don’t need to stew over in my mind whether or not I need to be doing some variation of that.” (59:54)

• Kia: Letting go of the narrative of being “behind" or not doing enough; fighting perfectionism by embracing being a beginner and focusing on her lane.

  • “I am trying to leave the narrative that I’m behind or I’m not doing enough.” (64:45)
  • On triggers and boundaries: "There are some content creators that I love, but they trigger me to compare myself to them. I have to engage with them in a particular way…it’s not their fault, it’s not mine, it’s just something I’m working on." (66:30)

• Both discuss the power of leaning into imperfection — doing things “raggedy,” letting content be messy, and using “the bad” to their advantage.

• Kia on boundary-setting: “Sometimes you have to hyper focus on your lane, and that means you stay on your own mat and not worry about what the next girl is doing." (68:26)

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On global awareness: “Let’s not lose sight. But it is a new year, and I feel like...all the worst things that have happened in history have also happened alongside the best things.” – Jade (09:43)
• On rest: “Recognizing that rest is not a reward for the work, it is a part of the work. It is essential to the work.” – Kia (28:51)
• On joy: “You gotta for real, for real tap into them pockets of joy. So if that means you walk around your house stupid sometimes, you know what I’m saying? Singing instruments...You gotta find your mother pockets or you will melt.” – Jade (44:29)
• On authenticity in creation: “I want to do meaningful work. And...sometimes it is about intimate, meaningful engagement and real community building amongst people who want to be a part of a community versus just having a bunch of people to watch.” – Kia (57:39)
• On perfectionism and self-acceptance: “You get better by doing it, not by obsessing over what you’ve done to the point that you don’t put it out.” – Kia (70:47)
• On divesting from drama: “I have no desire to be in this space. I don't want to fight. I don't want to argue. I just want to go home and roll up and watch Bob's Burgers… I'm truly, truly not gonna go back and forth with you blacks about anything.” – Jade (74:45 & 75:15)

Key Timestamps

• 01:37 – Singing intro, warm check-in, starting the year with gratitude.
• 06:15–11:09 – Processing global atrocities, the emotional cost of caring and advocacy.
• 11:12–15:17 – Duality of hardship and beauty; holding space for joy and pain.
• 21:54 – Introducing the “F/Marry/Kill” kitchen table talk.
• 25:11 – F: Experiments they want to repeat — solo travel, events, rest.
• 32:34 – Marry: Commitments for health, self-acceptance, creative authenticity.
• 59:14 – Kill: Overcommitting, comparison, and perfectionism.
• 77:36–92:04 – Listener letters (Honesty Box): Grief, solo travel, breakups, listener appreciation.
• 92:04–98:48 – Self-care segment: Home and spirit refresh, being present amid change.

Listener Letters & Community

• Listener reflections on grief, solo travel, relationships, and the unique community the podcast provides.
• Special shout-out and celebration for a listener’s wife graduating with honors after years of persistence.

Conclusion

The episode closes with warmth and practical self-care advice, skipping the usual “petty peeve” segment to carry forward a spirit of care and gratitude. Jade and Kia reaffirm the importance of drinking water, moisturizing, minding your business, and protecting your peace as 2026 unfolds.

For New or Returning Listeners:
This episode embodies Gettin’ Grown’s special mix of laughter, vulnerability, and care. Expect to hear real-life Black womanhood, honest talk about the world, therapy and self-care wisdom, and a standing invitation to reflect, celebrate, and grow together—even when life (and adulthood) stays unpredictable.

[Kitchen Table Prompts Offered in Episode:]

• What will you try again (F)?
• What will you commit to (Marry)?
• What are you ready to let go of (Kill)?

Originality & Tone:
Conversational, often hilarious, unfiltered, and full of loving accountability—Jade and Kia keep it real for themselves and their listeners in some of the most affirming, authentic podcasting spaces around.