Takiya Blackman (41:01)
Yes. And so to answer your question in terms of how do you have the conversation? So I think about if you suspect someone is considering suicide, as hard as it is, I know it's hard. The best thing you can do is ask them. So if I had a friend who was considering it, I would go to them and say, hey, Jade, these are some of the things that I have been noticing. You've been canceling plans. I noticed you haven't been eaten, you haven't been. Whatever those changes are, bring it up to them. And if they, because some people, it may not be a. It may not be something where they have said it, because we'll talk about that too. But let's say if it's just something you might suspect because somebody got financial issues going on, et cetera, and say, these are the things that I'm noticing. Is everything okay? Now if it's an instance where, like, because I used to work as a Crisis phone counselor for 9 8. So like, if it's an instance where I would talk to someone on the phone and they would say like, oh, I just broke up with my boyfriend, I'm at risk for being evicted, I would say that sounds like that's very difficult to go through someone in your situation, they may consider suicide. Is that something that you're thinking about? Because that way it's like, and let me say this too, you're not going to put the idea in somebody's head. If they thinking about it, they thinking about it. That's a myth. And people think, I don't want to ask them because I'm going to give them that idea. So I just want to dispel that too. And also there are different types of suicidal thoughts, right? So you have the passive thoughts. The passive thoughts are because most people, anytime it comes up in terms of suicide, people automatically, oh my gosh, they got to go to the hospital. That may not always be the case. So if you're assisting, providing support to someone, and let's say you say you see something on social media or text message, those passive thoughts are like, I wish I could go to sleep and not wake up. Or if I'm walking outside and a car jumps the curb, I'm not going to do anything to get out of the way, but I'm not going to actively do anything to end my life. That's more of a passive. If it's active. Active means the person has the means. They know the time, the place, the date, whatever that is. And the reason why I share that is because how you hit, they're both serious, right? But how you handle one may not be how you handle the other. So if you are bringing this up to. If someone says to you, let's say for instance, they give you something that is very. Because I know we'll talk about science too. But like, let's say they give you something that, you know, they really, really cherish and they say something like, I won't need this where I'm going. That's your key to broach. Ask a question and say, what do you mean by. Like, what do you mean by that? And asking them, are you suicidal? Are you thinking about killing yourself? And trying and being direct as possible? Because saying, are you thinking about hurting yourself? That could be pinching, cutting, scratching, biting oneself. That could be the like self harm, right? And so it's best when you having these conversations with loved ones to be direct. Because if we say things like hurt or harm people sometimes when they are considering suicide, they see ending their life as them having a sense of peace. I'm no longer in pain, right? Just like when somebody dies from cancer, it's like, oh, they're no longer in pain. And so even having those conversations, it could be a missed opportunity if we're not direct, even though it's very hard. And also when you're having these conversations, letting people know it's okay to feel like this and really validating them. And also going into the conversation with your loved one and not assuming that what's a lifeline for you is a lifeline for them. Your lifeline could be their kids. Their kids could be the one that's setting them over the edge. So also being mindful about that as well and creating that safe space to have the conversation saying, it's okay to have these feelings. I want to. How, you know, even asking that family member, how can I best support you? How can I best support you? And it may mean, you know, helping them find a therapist. It may mean driving them to the hospital, it really asking them. And sometimes, right. I have been in the instance where I was forced into the hospital because at that point I was Already a threat to myself. But sometimes it may not be that. There have been instances I had a friend where anytime I was struggling, she would ask me, is it passive or is it active? And if it was passive, it's like, oh, can you just come sit with me for a couple hours? Or can I stay over your house for a couple days? And really asking them. And then in that time she would say, okay, did you have anything to eat? Or sometimes people would send edible arrangements to let them know, think they're thinking of me. Kind of those things that you would do if somebody was even physically ill, but just really having those conversation and just validating people because there is so much shame and guilt and even fear of going to hell just for having those thoughts. So I hope I answered your question because I know I said a lot.
