Gettin’ Grown — “I Wish I Had Space To Talk About It”
Release Date: October 21, 2025
Hosts: Jade & Kia (Loud Speakers Network)
Featured Guest: T’Kea Blackman
Episode Overview
This episode of Gettin’ Grown dives deep into adulting as Black women—and more specifically, holds an honest, richly insightful “Kitchen Table Talk” about suicide prevention in the Black community. Hosts Jade and Kia are joined by T’Kea Blackman, an award-winning peer recovery specialist and suicide attempt/loss survivor. The conversation explores the unique stigmas, challenges, and need for culturally specific support for Black people navigating mental health and suicide. The episode balances heavy topics with moments of joy and real talk about self-care, community, and resilience.
Trigger warning: This episode features frank discussions about suicide and mental health.
Resource: All referenced support resources are listed in the episode description.
Main Themes
- Addressing suicide and mental health stigma in Black communities
- The power of lived experience and peer support
- Building safe spaces for open conversation
- Language, myths, and best practices about suicide prevention
- Honoring joy, identity, and cultural connection despite hardship
Episode Structure
- [00:00–06:58] Opening, personal & cultural losses
- [07:01–14:57] Social and political climate check-in
- [19:39–53:00] Kitchen Table Talk: T’Kea Blackman’s story & Black suicide prevention
- [56:41–83:47] Building community, peer support, and resources
- [86:14–99:37] Self-care & lighthearted Petty Peeves section
- [99:49–115:14] More Petty Peeves & closing affirmations
Episode Breakdown
Acknowledging Cultural Loss & Current Events
[01:40–06:58]
- Jade & Kia open by reflecting on recent prominent deaths, focusing on d’Angelo (and his son, Michael) and others impacted by illness.
- They grieve the compounded pain for families who experience multiple losses in a short time.
- Touch on the constant barrage of sobering news in 2025, expressing fatigue:
“20, 25. Fast hands. Okay, sister, we are fighting for our lives over here.” — Kia [06:12]
- Brief check-ins about personal well-being amid a tough political/social landscape, noting the normalization of loud, harmful rhetoric and the struggle to balance self-care with activism and awareness.
Kitchen Table Talk: Navigating Suicide Prevention in the Black Community
[19:39–83:47]
Introducing T’Kea Blackman
[19:43–24:02]
- T’Kea Blackman is an award-winning peer recovery specialist, PhD student, and founder of Black People Die by Suicide Too and the Mental Health Empowerment Agency.
- Grounded in lived experience of suicide loss and attempt, T’Kea’s mission is to dismantle stigma and provide real support in the Black community.
“I truly want to thank y’all for creating an amazing community… It has been a source of strength and encouragement in some of my most challenging moments.” — T’Kea Blackman [21:13]
T’Kea’s Story: From Silence to Advocacy
[25:48–32:04]
- T’Kea recounts her childhood in New Jersey, facing mental health challenges from a young age but lacking the language or safe space to discuss suicidal thoughts.
- Describes generational trauma, family substance abuse, and violence, connecting them to her emotional world as a child:
“I didn’t feel like I had a space to talk about that because I always heard like therapy is for crazy white people…” — T’Kea [25:52]
- Attempted suicide in her twenties after both losing a cousin to suicide and feeling overwhelmed by unresolved childhood trauma.
“It was truly a long journey starting from childhood that eventually led to attempt.” [29:19]
The Power and Process of Telling Your Story
[29:41–32:04]
- T’Kea reflects on how sharing her story, both anonymously and publicly, became a means of healing:
“It is easier for me to share it now because I’ve done a lot of work… Hiding and acting like everything is okay is what nearly killed me.” [30:36]
- She encourages taking the mask off, choosing truth over pretending—acknowledging that seeing her progress today reminds her how far she’s come.
Honoring Joy and Fullness Beyond Survival
[33:48–36:57]
- T’Kea shares bringing joy back into her life through pageantry, specifically the Ms. Full Figured National Capital Region pageant, as a tribute to her grandmothers.
- Reaffirms the necessity of integrating joy and celebration into healing work:
“Joy is truly our birthright.” [33:48]
Suicide Prevention Language, Myths & Best Practices
[38:48–46:55]
- Language Matters: Moving away from “committed suicide” (stigmatizing, criminal connotations) to “died by suicide.”
“If someone died from cancer, diabetes, a car accident, we would say they died by whatever that was… Many times it’s not that people are committed to their death. They want the pain to end.” — T’Kea [40:06]
- How to Talk: Be direct—ask people if they are thinking about suicide. You will not “put the idea in their head.”
“If they’re thinking about it, they’re thinking about it. That’s a myth.” [41:11]
- Types of Suicidal Thoughts: Passive (“wish I could go to sleep and not wake up”) vs. active (has the means/plan).
- Offering Support: Validate feelings, don’t assume someone’s “lifeline,” and create safety (sometimes it’s just “come sit with me” or sending food).
Supporting Individuals Making End-of-Life Decisions
[46:55–52:50]
- Discussion of medically-assisted death/euthanasia, the complexities of honoring autonomy, and the reality that sometimes people travel to access such services.
- T’Kea advises seeking to understand lifelines, future hopes, and providing companionship, while also knowing when emergency intervention is necessary (988, hospital).
- Key Quote:
“How can I best support you? Let me know what that looks like for you. And if you don’t know, can we brainstorm something together?” [48:36]
What Children (and Adults) Need: Safe Space to Talk
[52:24–54:52]
- T’Kea wishes, in childhood, she had a judgment-free space to express her darkest thoughts without fear of being dismissed or labeled “dramatic.”
“I wish that I had space to just really say these are the thoughts that I’m feeling and I don’t really know what to do with these feelings or these thoughts.” [54:49]
- The power of simply having someone to talk to, outside of generational “what happens in this house stays in this house” overlays.
The Central Role of Community & Peer Support
[56:40–63:07]
- T’Kea details the role of certified peer recovery specialists and lived experience as uniquely powerful tools, particularly in environments where there aren’t enough Black mental health clinicians.
“I want to be able to show someone that better days can come…There was just no way you could have told me when I was at my lowest low that life would get better.” [58:44]
- Peer support groups—especially virtual ones—help fill the gap, letting people see examples of hope and reducing isolation.
- International reach: People from UK, Brazil, Canada, and beyond attend their groups.
Resources from Black People Die by Suicide Too
[63:07–68:20]
- Peer support groups: Free, virtual (twice monthly), open regardless of location.
- Wellness Retreats: Specialized events, e.g., “Light After Loss” for suicide loss survivors, combine healing circles, skill-building, and creative activities.
- Training: QPR (Question, Persuade, Refer) and certified peer recovery specialist credentialing (with grants to make it accessible).
- Online resource list: Includes podcasts (Getting’ Grown among them!), articles, and more.
“So many people sometimes think it’s just sitting. You have no idea how just sitting and actually listening to a podcast can help you feel less alone.” [68:45]
How to Talk About, Spot & Navigate Suicide
[71:02–73:30]
- Risk Factors: Past attempts, trauma, stressful life events, feeling isolated, sudden mood changes, giving away treasured items, mental health diagnoses—be attentive to these.
- Training: Mental Health First Aid, QPR—available through Black People Die by Suicide Too and nationally.
- Limits:
“Sometimes despite our best interests, we can’t save everybody. And that’s a hard pill to swallow.” — T’Kea [73:56]
Supporting Suicide Loss Survivors
[74:43–79:33]
- Suggests resources such as NAMI, American Foundation for Suicide Prevention, and new support groups specifically for suicide loss survivors launching via Black People Die by Suicide Too.
- Most importantly:
- Listen with empathy and compassion.
- Don’t offer unsolicited advice.
- Ask: “How can I best support you?”
- Avoid repeatedly asking “what happened”—it retraumatizes and is rarely helpful:
“Asking that does not change the circumstances. Does it bring the person back?” [79:13]
The Importance of Language and Community
[79:13–83:47]
- Community and safe space are critical at all stages—for those struggling and for those left behind.
- T’Kea reiterates her gratitude:
“Our Black youth have the fastest growing rates of suicide compared to their white counterparts…It was happening back in the day—we just weren’t talking about it.” [82:17]
- Points to generational trauma as a driving factor and the urgent need for healing and open dialogue.
Quick Notable Quotes
- “It is exhausting as hell to wear a mask. And being able to talk about it now is truly how I take my power back.” — T’Kea [30:40]
- “Your lifeline could be their kids. Their kids could be the one that’s setting them over the edge. So also being mindful about that as well and creating that safe space.” — T’Kea [41:01]
- “Peer support is so vital because it helps to, not only when we’re talking about preventing suicide, but also making sure people have those safe spaces to talk about some of their darkest thoughts.” — T’Kea [63:02]
- “Sometimes just being in proximity to other people…that gives permission. Being honest is a big part…that gives other people permission to do the same.” — Kia [70:24]
Additional Segments
Self Care Check-in
[86:14–92:32]
- Jade attends a joyful game night with friends (“community gathering as self-care”).
- Kia leans into rest and “potato days,” emphasizing the necessity of rest for productivity and well-being.
Petty Peeves
[99:49–109:52]
- Jade vents about NYC’s confusing emergency response bureaucracy and dealing with antagonistic authority figures (police, sanitation officers).
- Kia rants about the self-checkout scale misweighing her banana—petty citizenship struggles.
Closing & Affirmations
[114:13–115:14]
- Parting advice: mind your business, hydrate, moisturize (keep your mind and skin “moist and supple”), and invest in community for resilience.
Key Takeaways
- Main Message: Black people experience suicide and suicidal thoughts, but a lack of open safe space makes these struggles more isolating and deadly. Healing, hope, and prevention are possible—with community, peer support, honest language, and validation.
- Resources exist: blackpeoplediebysuicide2.org provides virtual support, education, and ongoing community, regardless of insurance or location.
- Checking on people matters: Be direct, be safe, offer company and validation, know your limits, and take care of yourself too.
- Talk about it: Making space for these histories and truths makes them less deadly for future generations.
Timestamps for Key Segments
- Grieving D’Angelo, loss, and 2025 fatigue: [01:40–06:58]
- Political rant & teacher misogyny clip: [07:13–12:05]
- Kitchen Table introduction of T’Kea Blackman: [19:43–24:02]
- T’Kea’s story: [25:48–32:04]
- Joy and pageantry: [33:48–36:57]
- Suicide language myths: [38:48–40:57]
- How to talk/support: [41:01–46:55]
- Euthanasia discussion: [46:55–52:50]
- What children need: [52:24–54:52]
- Importance of peer support: [56:41–63:07]
- Resources list: [63:07–68:20]
- Spotting warning signs: [71:02–73:30]
- Supporting suicide loss survivors: [74:43–79:33]
- Closing gratitude and generational trauma: [81:46–83:47]
- Self-care & Petty Peeves: [86:14–109:52]
Closing
This candid, multi-layered episode offers not just visibility to Black survivors of suicide and loss, but practical guidance, affirmation, and hope. T’Kea Blackman’s testimony, Jade and Kia’s humor and authenticity, and a rich resource list make this one of the most powerful Gettin’ Grown conversations for anyone “just trying to learn how to adult—for real.”