It Feels Good To Talk About Our People (Feat: Tracie Mae)

Summary

Gettin' Grown – "It Feels Good To Talk About Our People"

Podcast: Gettin' Grown – Loud Speakers Network
Date: December 16, 2025
Hosts: Keia & Jade
Guest: Tracy May (of Depression Nest)

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Episode Overview

This poignant and relatable episode is dedicated to discussing grief—especially as it shows up during the holidays. Jade and Keia welcome longtime friend and content creator Tracy May, the voice behind "Depression Nest," for candid, heartfelt, and at times hilarious conversation around navigating grief, honoring lost loved ones, and how to find space for both pain and joy at this time of year. The episode flows like a kitchen table talk among sisters and covers collective Black womanhood, memory-making, family traditions, and offering support for one another through difficult seasons.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Honoring Stevie Wonder and Opening Reflections

[02:11]

• The show opens with gratitude and reverence for Stevie Wonder’s music, symbolizing timeless wisdom and Black creativity.
  • “Praise the Lord, I mean, listen to the words in the song. You know what I'm saying? He'd be ahead of his time.” – Keia [02:42]

2. Year-End Fatigue & Holding It All Together

[03:02 – 04:44]

• The hosts share the realities of holiday exhaustion and feeling held together by "gel and eyelash glue," edge control, and "the grace of God."
• The episode leans into the collective fatigue and the need for rest, as both hosts and Tracy reflect on their full plates and the importance of taking a break.

3. Introducing Tracy May and Her Journey

[05:31 – 13:00]

• Tracy recounts being an OG YouTuber, starting with “Friday Wrap Up” rap videos, and hopping platforms for fun and connection rather than monetary gain.
• The group discusses the shift in online content from authentic, unfiltered story-sharing to highly curated, monetized formulas.
  • “That's why I can't be a millionaire on YouTube. Because as soon as I start making money, I would be like, I don't... Once it becomes a job, it's crazy.” – Tracy [12:36]

4. Storytelling, Authenticity, and the Power of Fun

[13:00 – 16:11]

• The trio celebrates the return to intentional, authentic storytelling over polished, algorithm-chasing creations.
• Tracy explains her channel “Depression Nest” mainly exists to keep herself accountable—for both her house and her healing.

5. Navigating Grief in the Holidays

[16:18 – 23:13]

• Tracy shares personal experiences losing her mother a week before Thanksgiving, explaining why the season can be “a little up, a little down,” and her discomfort joining others’ family celebrations.
  • “Fifteen years. All it takes is 15 years, guys.” – Tracy [20:28]
• The group reflects on the layer of grief that comes from changed family dynamics and how being around other families can amplify loss.
  • “You lose the person, but you also lose everything that was normal.” – Takiya [21:39]

6. Support That Helps vs. Support That Overwhelms

[23:13 – 26:31]

• Tracy notes that the most overwhelming thing is people avoiding the topic of her mother entirely, erasing her from conversation.
  • “Nobody's talking about it. Nobody even says my mama's name anymore. ...I definitely want to acknowledge that she existed.” – Tracy [23:13]
• Helpful support: friends with flexibility, patience, and space to talk or not talk as needed.

7. The Everyday Nature and Rituals of Grief

[26:47 – 32:20]

• Both hosts and Tracy discuss how rituals, even small ones like crosswords, card games, or gym time, keep them grounded and connected to their loved ones.
  • “It's the small things that we would do together during these moments. ...Those traditions are things that I've missed.” – Tracy [29:16]

8. How Grief Becomes Part of Identity

[34:07 – 39:01]

• Takiya opens up about grief becoming woven into her personality, not just a moment in time, and the need to accept this changed sense of self.
  • “Sometimes it feels like grief has become a part of my personality and I resist it.” – Takiya [35:27]

9. Permission to Grieve Indefinitely

[39:14 – 41:02]

• Tracy recounts seeing someone on TV cry decades after losing his dad and realizing, “This is forever. ...I became okay right in that moment. It's almost like that man gave me permission.”
  • “I realized early on...so this is forever. ...It's for everywhere, yeah.” – Tracy [39:22]

10. Creating Memories and the Importance of Photographs

[41:02 – 44:47]

• Tracy urges parents and loved ones: "Get in the pictures" – memories and images become precious when those we love are gone.
  • “I hate that I don't have more of her through the ...I know that time happened, but I don't have her in that time.” – Tracy [42:35]
• The group discusses curating intentional, memory-making moments, especially for only children.

11. Living Legacies: Ways to Remember and Honor

[44:47 – 56:38]

• They share stories of how everyday activities connect them to their loved ones—be it through cooking, music, or clothes.
• Tracy describes wearing her late mother’s vintage clothes and the bittersweet joy in that act.
  • “It turned out really cute. ...It was very interesting, like, putting on the clothes and seeing like, oh, this fits me perfectly.” – Tracy [55:21]

12. Anticipatory Grief & Focusing on the Present

[58:56 – 61:19]

• Keia discusses the anxiety about losing her last living grandparent, and Tracy gently reminds her (and listeners) that pre-grieving robs us of enjoying the time we have left.
  • “You can't mentally prepare now for what's going to happen then. ...Just enjoy the time that you have now.” – Tracy [59:40]

13. The Power of Story Collection & Intergenerational Conversation

[62:50 – 74:55]

• The women discuss the importance of asking elders about their lives—marriages, dreams, regrets, and perspectives—and capturing these stories for future generations.
• They contemplate what they would ask their mothers or grandmothers now as grown women, reflecting on life under different social circumstances.

14. Community, New Traditions, and the Challenge of Belonging

[77:43 – 82:34]

• Tracy shares her challenge in creating new holiday traditions post-loss, and feeling out of place at large family gatherings as an only child without parents.
• She expresses her wish to form a "only child dead parents club"—a gentle, tongue-in-cheek call for building chosen family/community.
  • “Go to places where you feel welcomed and included and you feel like you can have a good time.” – Tracy [82:34]

15. Honoring the Ancestors: What Would You Say?

[84:43 – 93:14]

• The hosts and Tracy share heartfelt messages they’d deliver to their lost loved ones—sometimes silly, sometimes tender—and affirm the importance of continuing to "talk about our people" to keep them alive in memory.
  • “It feels good to talk about our people, right? Yeah, it feels good to, you know, just talk about them out loud.” – Tracy [93:49]

16. Collecting & Sharing Stories as a Healing Practice

[94:00 – 96:00]

• Sharing the idea of gathering stories about a loved one from friends/family as a mosaic of remembrance.
• Reference to "Bourdain” (book of stories about Anthony Bourdain) as an example.

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the unending shape of grief:
  "Should I be over this? Maybe I was too attached to my mother… but like, I don’t know how people are just moving on like it was a fever dream..." – Tracy [40:00]

• On family invitations after loss:
  "No, girl, I don't want to go to your mimaw's house. God bless you. I love you so much." – Takiya [22:34]

• On support:
  “The helpful part for me is … people like Keia, when… we basically do a whole podcast in the voice notes." – Tracy [24:36]

• On the pressure for joy:
  “I can’t figure out how to, like, be joyful yet... but it takes time to sort of work through it.” – Takiya [38:39]

• On holidays as an only child after loss:
  "Christmas... is one of those holidays where the immediate family is really... an immediate family holiday." – Tracy [78:22]

• On traditions and memory:
  “I think you did create a tradition: actually saying you're going to create traditions every year!” – Kia [80:41]

• On community for grievers:
  "I really, really would like to start an only child dead parents club… we would form our own community.” – Tracy [81:22]

• On talking about those we miss:
  “We still talk about y'all like y'all still here, like y'all still alive. And I don't know that that's something that'll ever change, but we love y'all big, big…” – Takiya [90:42]

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Important Timestamps

• [05:54] – Official start of "Kitchen Table" segment with guest intro
• [16:11] – Transition into deep holiday grief discussion
• [20:28] – Tracy’s reflections on family gatherings post-loss
• [23:13] – Naming helpful/unhelpful support
• [29:16] – Small rituals and why they matter
• [39:22] – Long-term grief: “This is forever.”
• [42:35] – Get in the photo! Legacy and memory-making
• [55:21] – Wearing clothes of a lost loved one
• [59:40] – The limits of anticipatory grieving
• [77:43] – Starting new traditions, and the reality of not doing so
• [82:34] – Tracy’s advice on community and belonging
• [84:53] – Honoring lost loved ones, what would you say to them?
• [93:49] – “It feels good to talk about our people.”

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Tone & Approach

• Warm, unfiltered, “kitchen table” realness—equal parts sorrow, wisdom, and laughter
• Black women’s cultural frame: humor as survival, deep love of family across generations, respect for storytelling
• Invites listeners into a safe space for “both/and”—grief and joy, missing and remembering, struggling and coping

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Final Takeaways

• Grief is not “one and done”; it becomes part of you, and that's okay.
• Support looks like presence, patience, and flexibility—not erasure or forced cheer.
• Holidays and loss are complicated; you’re not wrong for needing space, distraction—or to just skip the damn invitation.
• Collect stories, take pictures, and ask the deep questions while you can.
• Community can be built, even post-loss—from chosen family or folks walking a similar path.
• Keep talking about “our people.” Preserve their stories, laugh at their quirks, wear their clothes, and honor your own process.

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Resources

• Tracy May / Depression Nest:
  • YouTube: Tracy May
  • TikTok: @youaregirltracymay
• Mental Health Resource:
  • If you’re struggling, call 988 for crisis support (U.S.)

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For anyone grieving this holiday season or beyond, this episode is an honest, loving guide to doing it your way and keeping those you love close in the ways that matter most.

Transcript

[Tracy May]

Meat Song. His fantasy lineup not so great. A no name QB and an injured rookie running back. But you know what is great? Getting a single line unlimited plan for $35 a month and a free Samsung Galaxy A15.5G at Cricket Wireless. No injuries, just reliable service. Cricket may temporarily slow data speeds if the network is busy. Must bring your number to Cricket on select unlimited plan. Pay $40 first month new lines only. First month service charge and tax due at sale. Cricket 5G is not available everywhere. Fees, terms and restrictions apply. See cricketwireless.com for details.

[Kia]

For delicious meals, you could go out to eat or you could just make a Marie Callender's Meal. Marie Callender's classic Chicken Parmigiano bowl is so good. It has marinara sauce that's made from scratch and creamy mozzarella cheese over pasta. It's delicious with no artificial flavors, colors or preservatives. And 30 grams of protein. You can find it in the frozen aisle. Marie Callender's what Having it all tast. Someday at Christmas Men won't be boys playing with bombs like kids play with toys One warm December our hearts will see a world where men are free that's it. Someday at Christmas There'll be no wars when we have learned what Christmas Christmas is for when we have found what life's really worth There'll be peace on earth someday all our dreams will come to be Somewhere in the world We're Mary Bing maybe not in time for you and me but someday at Christmas time Yes. Oh Stevie, Steven Hardway, My Morris.

[Takiya]

We just love, we protect we're grateful for Stevie.

[Kia]

Yeah, we really are.

[Takiya]

We really are so grateful.

[Kia]

We really are. Taurus King may you wrap him in the bubbliest of rap oh please protect.

[Takiya]

Him at all costs.

[Kia]

Oh my God. I have felt so blessed to see him multiple times live at this point. Yes. You know, I'm like, okay, those are memories I will carry with me for the rest of my days.

[Takiya]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

Praise the Lord. I mean, listen to the words in the song. You know what I'm saying? He'd be ahead of his time.

[Takiya]

Listen. Timeless. Classic.

[Kia]

Yeah, classic. Classic should not still be relevant, but timeless and classic. Yes. Praise the Lord, niggas. How are you doing, sister?

[Takiya]

I'm hanging in here, sis. You know, I feel like I have a little senioritis at the end of a long year. You know what I'm saying? You just ready to be like, man, F this, F this, F it all. I just wanna go lay down. Are you guys kidding? Y' all not tired. That's why I be walking around. I was in the office today. Like, y' all not sleepy. That's crazy drained.

[Kia]

Do you hear me?

[Takiya]

I am. I am holding on.

[Kia]

Be holding on.

[Takiya]

Literally Jeffrey Osborne being held together by, like, some gel and some eyelash glue. That's it.

[Kia]

Yeah. I'm being held together by baskin Lather. You all can.

[Takiya]

Exactly.

[Kia]

Edge control and the grace of God.

[Takiya]

Is what is holding me together in this moment. I don't know how y' all are doing it, how y' all making it.

[Kia]

I think everybody is. The skin of their teeth is really just trying to get it together.

[Takiya]

You doing okay?

[Kia]

I'm doing. I'm tired. I am t. I read as you all have listened to this. I have. I have catered.

[Tracy May]

I have.

[Kia]

I have gone to Cleveland. I have come back. Noah had a. A nutcracker performance. Yeah. It's just been nonce. I've helped a friend move like it has been not stop one thing after another. And I am delighted to sit my black ass down for at least a couple of weeks over this. This break. This season of. Of rejuvenation.

[Takiya]

Absolutely. Well, y' all not gonna get rid of us that quick today. We are. We are here. We are joined by one of our good sister friends. Is gonna sit with us for a little while and talk through grief. Managing grief in the holidays. You know, she suffered loss, but I think she is really leveraging storytelling and creativity to. You know, I just. It's been beautiful to watch her grow through her grief. Yeah. And I'm very proud of her and happy to have her where she's a friend to the show. You guys have heard us mention her before, and she listens to the show. So we're happy to welcome Tracy May of depression nest. Depression.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Takiya]

She's gonna sit with us in the kitchen table and just talk about managing grief during the holidays. But just generally speaking.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

And it's an important conversation. We try to have it in some way every holiday season. So we're excited to have Tracy's perspectives this year.

[Kia]

So enjoy this kitchen table. Indeed.

[Takiya]

See y' all in a minute. Welcome back to the kitchen Table, everybody. And I know we say this every week, but. But we really do have the very best guest ever in all the land of Landia. I am very excited. We are very excited because our sister friend is at the kitchen table. She really needs no introduction. Someone who has been down to the Internet streets for many years. Okay. We know her. We love her for her honesty, her authenticity, her Transparency as she figures out all of the various things and phases and aspects of her adulting. And so it was just a no brainer to invite her to the kitchen table to talk with us as we're all figuring out these ghettos together. Everybody welcome the brilliant, the beautiful, the talented, the hilarious Tracy.

[Tracy May]

Thanks for having me, guys. I'm at the kitchen table like I used to be.

[Kia]

Yes. Hey, Pastor P. Like we used to.

[Tracy May]

This is.

[Takiya]

This is Tracy May of Depression Nest. Y' all have heard us see that. That wonderful television theme song all over.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Because we love it so much. But Tracy Mae, for the people who may not know exactly who you are, share. Introduce yourself in the way that you feel most comfortable.

[Kia]

Welcome.

[Tracy May]

Okay. Well, my name is Tracy May. I've been. I was one of the OG like YouTubers. I think I was on YouTube in 2006 or seven. I can't remember.

[Takiya]

It sounds about right.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, that was crazy. I actually got a YouTube like, notification like a couple months ago that said 18 year anniversary.

[Kia]

That's the college. That's a high school reading. An adult.

[Takiya]

An adult. Not YouTube. No.

[Kia]

Your YouTube can vote, it can smoke, it can buy cigarettes. Exactly.

[Tracy May]

Oh, my gosh.

[Kia]

Black and mouse.

[Takiya]

You could drink in Europe.

[Kia]

In Europe.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, I think I. I just started on YouTube because I. I don't know, I've always been an oversharer and I was rapping every week on YouTube. I had a little thing called the Friday Wrap up and I would just rap about something that happened that week and. And that's sort of how people started finding me. People started catching on to that. Since then, I've just been bouncing around from social media platform to social media platform. I'm really good at like doing all of them at once.

[Takiya]

Yes.

[Kia]

Yeah, you are.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, it's just like it keeps moving. I was. I'm not on Snapchat, but I am on Instagram.

[Kia]

Snapchat is still crazy to me. I thought that was extinct. And then I real.

[Tracy May]

I know that adults are on there.

[Kia]

Yeah, I thought it was gone and then I heard it had a resurgence.

[Takiya]

And yes, the young people are on there, I believe pretty.

[Tracy May]

They're on there.

[Kia]

So they can be sluts. That's why.

[Tracy May]

And they could erase.

[Kia]

Yeah, exactly. Or they think they can.

[Takiya]

I see.

[Tracy May]

But I'm Ricymay on YouTube and really that's all I care about.

[Takiya]

You on TikTok no more. You used to TikTok down to the TikTok to us.

[Tracy May]

Oh, your girl Tracy May. Like, you are girl Tracy May. Yeah. That's my TikTok. I have. I haven't tiktoked in a long time either. I just be lurking. Like, I just be watching.

[Kia]

Once I got really lurk on tik tok, I just. I just make videos. When I think of something, a random are the best.

[Tracy May]

Oh, God, J.B. exactly.

[Takiya]

Uncle Jay.

[Tracy May]

Uncle J.J. why.

[Takiya]

J be like, let me make some content right quick.

[Kia]

Why not? Content? Hashtag. That's what. The very first time I learned that GRWM was not grown woman, I was like, it's time to make a tik tok.

[Takiya]

I remember that TikTok. I said, now this is embarrassing. Jake was dead. Hey, you should have called somebody.

[Tracy May]

You should have just in the group chat.

[Takiya]

Yeah, you should have asked me. I said, now, this is embarrassing.

[Kia]

Nope. Because I found a tribe of people who also was like, yo, I thought it was just me.

[Takiya]

Grown woman. I can do whatever I want.

[Tracy May]

Hey, guys, welcome back to my grown woman channel.

[Kia]

Okay, grown woman with me while I put on this eyeshadow.

[Takiya]

Watch me grow. Yeah.

[Tracy May]

While I go to the club, I'm.

[Kia]

A. I' ma you all up one day and make. I'm making a makeup. I'm make a makeup video. I'll be like, un. Unbox with me when I come home from this event. Unbox. Let's wash my face.

[Tracy May]

I'm ready. I'm ready. I love. I love a jade TikTok.

[Takiya]

So Tracy, when we think about content creation, before it became like a career pipeline.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Takiya]

When we think about. Just when we think about content, I think of Tracy because I think Tracy is just a masterful storyteller.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Takiya]

So whatever. Whatever format. Like, I don't care if.

[Kia]

If.

[Takiya]

If you have the privilege of being in person with Tracy. If you are watching her on any platform, it's really the story. Like, you know, I think we've made content creation this. And it is a craft in terms of, you know, the quality of content that creators put out. It's amazing. I mean, movie quality. But back in the OG days when it was niggas and they MacBook cameras literally opened up the laptop. Literally opening up the laptop and pressing record. They were no editing. There was no. It was just straight to camera like that. And we were. That. That was like. You were building an audience with no frills.

[Kia]

No.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

I was just doing it for fun, you know?

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Well, that's what it feels like every time I watch your stuff, that you're doing it for fun.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, because I have to. Otherwise, like, once I start doing stuff For. For business purposes or money, I'll be like, I don't want to anymore. I don't know what that is. That's why. That's why I can't be a millionaire on YouTube. Because as soon as I start making money, I would be like, I don't.

[Takiya]

Wanna become a job.

[Tracy May]

Yeah. Once it becomes a job, it's crazy.

[Kia]

No, it does. It sucks the joy out of it. That's capitalism, which is also from white supremacy. So that's what, you know. It always leads back. It always leads back.

[Takiya]

Sometimes it's just creation for creation sake. I want to get back to that. I want to get back to creating. Yeah, yeah.

[Kia]

Oh, yeah.

[Tracy May]

I think that was going to come back around. I think people are tired of, like, the gurus and the Experts and the 10 Ways to Do it at that. And I think. I think people, especially after the receptista thing, I think people are going to circle back around to storytelling and then it's going to be authentic again. It's not going to be long lived, but people are tired of the. The formulaic stuff that's happening.

[Kia]

Absolutely. Yeah. They're like super curation. And I think you found a beautiful balance with that in your content because there is a. There is a polish to it. There is a curation, but it's not an unrealistic polish.

[Takiya]

Right.

[Kia]

You show yourself in your very natural state.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Kia]

You know, whether you're putting something together or building something or. Or organizing or decluttering or whatever the case is, but you edit it in a really palatable way. Do you, like, did. Did you start doing that for fun or what led you to. To creating this type of content? Especially depression. Ness.

[Tracy May]

I do everything for. For some type of fun. I told my therapist that I need to grow up because I don't know where I thought, where I learned or who taught me that work was supposed to be fun. Yeah, yeah. Everything's supposed to be fun. So, yeah, I, I do it for fun. But also once people started making money on YouTube, because back in the day, we were making money on YouTube.

[Takiya]

Not a dime, Not a dime. Not a dime, not a dime.

[Tracy May]

Now, of course, people are millionaires because. Sure, punish all of the early adopters.

[Takiya]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kia]

There needs to be some sort of. I think that's a racist term, but, you know, a grandfather plan. You know what I'm saying?

[Tracy May]

Yeah. And so I was like, okay, I'm gonna come back. It's. It's been. I really came back on YouTube for depressionness to keep myself accountable. I Am not a very good. Like, I can't. I'm not very good at being accountable to myself. I need to be like, oh, I gotta do a video that. If I gotta do a video that means I gotta clean something or I gotta, you know, DIY something. I gotta count back. So, yeah, that's really why I started it. I'm excited for 2026 because I'm gonna. I'm still gonna do depressionist, of course, because my house is. Wow, wow, wow. So I'm still gonna do depression Nest, but I definitely want to get into some more, like, just sit down, talks like how it used to be, like, storytelling and stuff like that. So I'm excited to see what 2026 is going to hold.

[Kia]

I love that. How have you been feeling with the holidays approaching?

[Tracy May]

Like, grief wise?

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

So I think mine is a little bit different, my holiday grief, because my mom actually passed away a week before Thanksgiving. And so it's like it hit. What's the passing anniversary like? Everybody who's had somebody who's lost somebody, you know, it's like their birthday. The passing anniversary. Yeah. And then like, whatever holidays that y' all like together or whatever. So. Because she passed away a week before Thanksgiving and then the next week everybody was like, oh, no, just come over to my house. Come over to my house. Come over to my house. I went to three Thanksgivings that next week after my mama passed. And after that, I said, I don't. I don't want to do. I don't want to do that no more. I don't want to go to nobody else Thanksgiving. But for me, the holidays are a little up, a little down. I am. For those of you who don't know my story, I am an only child with deceased everybody, parents, grandparents, and dogs. I'm keeping these plants alive, though.

[Kia]

Yeah, listen, that's what we got. That's what we got to do.

[Takiya]

That's all we got.

[Tracy May]

That's all we got.

[Kia]

And Lisa Bonet, you've kept her?

[Tracy May]

I have. She's so long.

[Kia]

We'll get to Lisa. I was like, I want you to share Lisa Bonet with the people, but please finish what you were saying.

[Tracy May]

Yes. So when my mama passed away, it was 2010, so I was still on YouTube the first time. And I think having to deal with grief and work and still trying to do things, it was. It was a lot. So that's what really got me off YouTube that time. But the holidays in general are like. I don't know, they're up and like, they're up and down. It's like, I don't want to spend time with other people's families.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

But people don't really understand that.

[Kia]

No.

[Tracy May]

Because they're like, oh, no, my family is cool. You're a part of it. You know, Of course you, like, I would be just sitting there. But this year, I don't know these.

[Kia]

Niggas like that, Right?

[Tracy May]

This year, Ray Love, Jr. Jr. Shout.

[Kia]

Out to Ray Love, Jr. Shout out to ray.

[Tracy May]

He invited me. Well, he invites me every single year to miami for thanksgiving to be, like, you know, have thanksgiving with his family. And this year, I finally decided to say yes. I went down to miami, and I had a really good time. He was right when he said that his family is cool. It's not too big, not too many things going on. It's not overwhelming. Yeah. He really prepared me, you know what I'm saying, For what the day was gonna be like. And I felt like part of the family. I did feel really included. So that was nice. I think maybe that's some growth on my part, too, Because I think before, I would go to somebody's house, and I would just spend the whole time watching the family dynamics. I would be like, oh, look how the grandma holds the kid. Oh, look how the mom is hugging the daughter. And I'm like. I would just be, like, staring at these people's hugging their family dynamic. And so that made me just not want to go to anybody's house or do any kind of, like, celebrations. But I feel better, you know what I'm saying? Fifteen years. All it takes is 15 years, guys.

[Kia]

You're such a possibility. Bottle.

[Tracy May]

You, too, can be over some stuff after.

[Kia]

In one teenager.

[Takiya]

Like, managing, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, ish, you know? Yeah. I think it's such a good blind spot to sort of point out. Right. Because I think everyone does it from a place of concern. They don't want you to be alone. But, tracee, I were talking the other day because I called tracy just, you know, in my own heaviness around the holidays, because she has been, like. We've been processing with each other the different faces of our grief, like, for years. And we. We were talking the other day, trace, about how the. I think about, like, you know, like you said, you lose the person, but you also lose everything that was normal. And so I think family is a huge part of that.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Because I was talking to it. To tracy about how my. The family dynamics. The dynamics in my own family have altered, like, shifted yeah. And also, like, you're grieving the fact that that will never be the same again. And sometimes when you go to somebody else's, when you're around another family, it makes that loss even louder. It can feel even more intense because it's like. Like, for me, like, I watch siblings, right? And it's like, dang, like, look at the.

[Tracy May]

Look at y'.

[Kia]

All.

[Takiya]

40 years old. Just get to 40.

[Tracy May]

That's crazy, right? Especially, like, roughhousing or whatever, you know?

[Takiya]

Exactly.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

So. But. But. And I. I think that's just good to sort of name that, because that's not something that you. That there's not a lot of safe space to say. You don't want to hurt.

[Tracy May]

You don't want to hurt.

[Takiya]

Nobody's feeling. No, girl, I don't want to go to your mimaw's house. God bless you. I love you so much.

[Tracy May]

Sad if nobody ever invited me, so also. But then don't be mad if I say no.

[Kia]

If you said no, and you don't have the capacity. I wanted to act. And maybe for both of them, you actually. Especially with such close losses, you know, an immediate family, what support feels helpful and what support feels overwhelming?

[Tracy May]

I. I find the avoidance overwhelming. Like, when people pretend it never happened, and nobody. Nobody's talking about it. Nobody even says my mama's name anymore. Like, at my family's things, you know, everybody just tries to, like, wash over, like, move on. But for a long time, when I would come into those family events, y' all would say, oh, that's Diane's daughter. And now y' all. Not. Y' all not saying her name at all. So it's. I don't know. The. The. There's, like, a heavy silence in. In rooms that I. I feel like I. I don't want to, like, talk about her all the time, but I definitely, you know, want to acknowledge that she existed. You know, I don't know. It's tough. But. Yeah, I think that might be the weirdest part. I don't know if it's overwhelming, but it's, like, the weirdest part for me and the helpful part for me is, like, people like Kia, when, you know, she call or reach out or we text or we doing. We basically do a whole podcast in the voice notes.

[Takiya]

Mm.

[Tracy May]

Yeah. And so one time, Kia called me sad, and I have ADHD real bad. Oh, my God.

[Kia]

Same face, same.

[Takiya]

Chaotic.

[Tracy May]

Oh, my God. And so she called me about, you know, being sad, and then I was like, me, girl, baked potatoes.

[Kia]

If you really Ooh, baked potatoes. Exactly.

[Tracy May]

She was like, by the end of the conversation, we didn't know what we were talking about.

[Takiya]

Yeah, that's true. Like. Like, you know, sometimes it's a useful distraction.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Because I like this question since. But I feel like. I mean, it's weird because it's kind of like. It depends because I will say sometimes I want. I want. I need the distraction, like, because I can spiral and sort of stay in the sad. And so, like, somebody talking about something else can help me to work out of it. But I also love that I could talk to Tracy. I could talk to you, sis, about Brian and never feel like y' all sick of hearing about this nigga or. You know what I'm saying? Because I still need to talk about him. Talk about him. I do. And I think. I think the. What feels like support is the flexibility, the patience, because sometimes. Sometimes I'm gonna want to be around people and need to be around people, and sometimes I'm not. And I think the real support is like, whatever, you know, I. I feel safe enough to say that and it not be. No. Well, you need to do this or that or, you know. You know.

[Tracy May]

Right. Right.

[Kia]

You need to do in the moment.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Yeah, that's fair.

[Tracy May]

And that. That is the thing, though. Like, what did you just say? Adhd. I'm sorry. About. About when people. Girl, I forgot.

[Kia]

Wait, wait.

[Takiya]

Get tired of talk. Because.

[Tracy May]

When people get tired of. Well, you don't. They don't, like, actively say they're tired. You do feel like you could tell.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, you could tell. It's kind of like if you were talking about an ex.

[Takiya]

If you.

[Tracy May]

If it was 20 years later and you still talking about that ex. Like, girl, shut up. We don't want to hear right this. Girl, forget him. But it's not the same with, like, family. Close family that passed away. Like, I'm never going to forget my mama. And so it's like, y' all could probably move on because she was your auntie or sister or right. You know, whatever. Y' all could move on because it was. It wasn't that close of a loss for you, baby.

[Takiya]

But.

[Tracy May]

For me, yeah, it's still big on my mind, like, every single day. It's been 15 years, you know?

[Kia]

Yeah. Do you have rituals that keep you grounded and help you through. Through the holiday season?

[Tracy May]

So my mama was a big nerd, and she liked crossword puzzles and Sudoku or however you say that word puzzles. And so I find myself doing a lot of those during the Holidays. That was just something that even like after her memorial service, my family put up a big. It was like the world's biggest crossword puzzle. And we all just stood there doing crossword puzzles, like, right after the memorial service. Yeah. It's like, I try to do stuff like that. That's another thing, though, that people really don't talk about is like, these small traditions. It's like, it's a tradition because it happens every year or all the time, but they're so minuscule that you don't even recognize is a tradition until it's not there anymore.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

And it's like, oh, where's the person that always says the prayer? Creaking or it's like, you know, who gonna say it next. It's like these little small things that add up. Me and my mama used to play.

[Kia]

Cards, and she would always game of choice.

[Tracy May]

Bed wits.

[Kia]

Very black.

[Takiya]

Very black. Very black.

[Kia]

Very Chicago.

[Takiya]

Very black.

[Tracy May]

Okay. Yeah. Cause, you know, it was just us two, so we would always try to figure out some kind of way to play a two player game. Or we would, like, race each other in solitaire, stuff like that. But those traditions are things that I've missed, those small little things. I don't miss the turkey and whatever. I can get that anywhere. But I miss, like, the small things that we would do together during these moments. And I think people forget about. Forget about those.

[Kia]

Yeah. Y' all know how I feel about my Trisha. She's my little furry bestie, all right? She lays on the tub ledge while I shower. She affectionately bites my ankles while I'm recording. She curls right up in the crescent of my butt for sleep time. You know, all the cute things, but with the good, it comes the bad. And the bad is always kitty litter. The main culprit. I'm just. I'm just trying to understand why these big box companies cannot get it right. Like, this is what y' all do. What is the problem? Guess what Boxy cat did. All right. Boxy Pro has probiotics right in the litter that gobble up that odor causing bacteria and keep the box continuously odor free. Yes, I said continuously. Because words mean things. Not for 10 days, not for 20 days. Like infinite days of continual odor freeness. Now, there is a caveat. You do have to scoop, which Boxy's amazing clumping power does brilliantly, and then you, you know, just top off the box. But if you do those two things, you are ready to stop giving your litter box to stink eye and your cat won't smell anything either. I'm talking about no fake scents, which gives him or her one less reason to avoid the box. Box I'm personally waiting on a fresh delivery right now. Like it's it's literally in transit out for delivery. And when I tell you I'm hype to dump her old litter and start our year fresh because I got put on at a homegirl's house and was like, honey, you have two cats. It smells amazing in here. Like zero cats. So I'm very excited for my journey. If you're tired of switching litters, look for the one. Get Boxee at box I E C A T.com it's the last litter you'll switch to. Enjoy 30% off with code grown at boxycat.com grown that's B-O-X I-E C A T.com grown the 2026 Chevy Equinox is more than an SUV. It's your Sunday tailgate and your parking lot snack bar. Your lucky jersey, your chairs and your big cooler fit perfectly in your even bigger cargo space. And when it's go time, your 11.3-inch diagonal touchscreen's got the playbook, the playlist, and the tech to stay a step ahead. It's more than an suv. It's your Equinox Chevrolet. Together, let's drive.

[Takiya]

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[Kia]

What other kind of things? And both of you, please answer. What other kind of things do you feel people don't think about when it comes to grief and loss? Not even just around the holidays in general, but especially around the holidays, I.

[Takiya]

Have to bear in mind all the time. And I think a lot of it is internal. I'm working through my own sort of mindset and way of being in this. And there's a need to give yourself space to learn who you are now. And I said to Tracy, sometimes, even even though I know and I. And that I have such a strong support system, and I know that and I'm so grateful for that. Sometimes the heavy. I think. I think the overwhelming me fearing that people will get annoyed with me is because I'm annoyed with me. I'm projecting my own frustration about the fact that I'm. I'm sad. And there's not any real thing that I feel like I can do about it in that moment. And I think a lot of that I told. I said to Tracy the day sometimes it feels like grief has become a part of my personality and I resist it.

[Tracy May]

And it has. And that's okay.

[Takiya]

It has. And Tracy helped me to sort of see that it has. I think I was resisting that because, you know, I've always been a person who likes to laugh and like to have a good time, but now there's a part of me who is always sad and there's just. Yeah, and. And. And so there's a. So, you know, in my working through my own stuff, I have to, you know, create space for that and let myself be okay with this iteration of takiya. And it doesn't mean that I don't. I'm not the same girl that likes to laugh and have a good time, but it's just both. And, you know, I will always cry when I need to cry because sometimes I'll just. I'll just do that. And the loss is. The loss is compounding. And so it's not just Ever. The loss by itself. I think I talked to my mom yesterday. We were talking about how Christmas has changed in the family so much. My grandma was. The Christmas was her time. She was. She was the real. It's time.

[Tracy May]

Poor Mariah. Poor Mariah.

[Takiya]

It was. Grandma would be.

[Kia]

It's time.

[Takiya]

That's.

[Kia]

You know, she was.

[Takiya]

You heard, it was ready, and. And so. But now Mommy said, you know, I thought about other day. You know, we were. After Grandma passed, we put the Christmas tree up for DDI now that DD we're in this transitional place with DDI like, you know, we're not putting up a tree this year. And my mom said, you know, I haven't put up a Christmas tree since Brian passed.

[Tracy May]

Oh, wow.

[Takiya]

And I thought about it, because we will always have Christmas at Grandma's. And Mommy would put up a tree in her house before Brian passed, but since Brian passed, she has not put up a tree in her house. And so now it's like, Brian, Grandma. We're in this transitional phase with dda and so it just feels like the time that used to be such a time of family and joy and togetherness now feels like the opposite of that. And it triggers.

[Tracy May]

It's like another thing. Yeah.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

So. And then. And that's. That. That can be all consuming. So I just feel, like, space to work through. That is what I need. That's, you know, I need to be able to say out loud, this is terrible. Like, you know, like. And I. I mean, you know what I'm saying? I need to be able to say that so that I can accept it and find a way to be okay within it. And I think that I've been trying to be okay, but the fact of the matter is, this is a huge transition, and I'm now sort of turning my attention toward, like, how do I. How do I. I can't figure out how to, like, be joyful yet. Maybe, like, you know, I think even talking to Tracy now, hearing that, you know, it took you a long time, but you finally got to a place where you were able to.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

So, yeah, when I hear that, I hear, like, it's not yet. Maybe, maybe. You know what I'm saying? Maybe. Maybe it will be 12 years for me. Maybe be 15, maybe it'll be 20. But I hear that it takes time to sort of work through it. And I think what I want to offer is, like, you got to give yourself the space to work it out.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

You can't try to rush. You can't try to fake it. That shit don't work. Nothing about it works. It will catch you.

[Tracy May]

You know what? I. When I realized early on, I was watching an episode of Amazing Race and there was, like, this father and son. I don't even know what season this was, but a long time ago, father and son together, and the father had to be in his 50s, late 50s, early 60s, something like that. He got on there and he was like, I wish my dad could have seen it. And he started crying. I said, oh, so this is for every. Okay. For everywhere. Yeah.

[Takiya]

For the rest of my life. Got it, Got it.

[Tracy May]

Yeah. So I became okay right in that moment. It's almost like that man gave me permission because I was like, man, should I be. Should I be over this? You know what I'm saying? Like, should. Is this a thing? Maybe I was too attached to my mother. I don't know. But, like, I don't know how people are just moving on. Like it was a fever dream or something like that. Yeah. So mine is a little different because I. All of my friends that are parents now that have only one child, I am trying to prepare them. So, yeah, it is because I am their children in the future, you know, basically, I. You have to imagine, like, what they're gonna be feeling, especially if it's like my family and everybody dies. The way in order, sort of. It was like my grandparents, my grandmother and my granddaddy, then my mom, then my dad.

[Kia]

And.

[Tracy May]

At a certain point, your kid by herself or by themselves, you know, and. And that is your, like. Like he was saying about, like, you know, things that you do in your family and all these. That's your immediate family. That is your unit right there. Like, you got the cousins and the aunties. I consider that extended. Because if I don't go over your house for Christmas every single year, we're not. That's not immediate. You know what I mean? And so I do a lot of reminding people, my friends. One of the things that I remind people of is to be in the pictures, because my. It was so interesting as I was looking through some of the photo albums. It would be like, oh, my mama in her apartment, my mama in front of a car, my mama da, da. And then, boom, her holding me as a baby, as a newborn. And then it was, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. And I understand it. I mean, you're in love. You just met your little baby piece. And, I mean, they're so cute and whatever you got to get in some of them Pimp. Cause that's. I hate that I don't have more of her through the. I have the. Those pictures, so I know that time happened, but I don't have her in that time.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

And so I feel like I'm missing that. And so I try to remind people to get in the picture, have somebody else take the picture, and so y' all can remember that. And then recently, I reminded one of my friends. Whenever there's an opportunity for a memory to be made, make it. I said, make it. Because I still remember some stuff. Like, my mama took me to Double Dare on tour and.

[Kia]

Oh, my God, that's amazing.

[Tracy May]

45 years old, you know, I have a sign up and everything.

[Kia]

Like, I love that. Not Double D. Oh, that was a throw. That was a throw down.

[Tracy May]

Mark Summers.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Tracy May]

But yeah, like, if. If there's an opportunity to make a memory, it came up with me and my friend because she. She is like, super decor into decor and stuff. And she does her. She does the tree by herself.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Tracy May]

And I was like, I was asking her, like, do you think maybe you could have, like, a formal tree that you do that's very designed, and then maybe a family tree so that y' all could have that memory of, like, turning on the Motown Christmas album, putting the things on there. Maybe the ornaments are like family pictures or somebody made this in second grade. I just feel like if there's an opportunity for a memory to be made, I think especially parents of only children, go ahead and make it. Just try.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's actually really. That's.

[Takiya]

It's beautiful.

[Kia]

That. Yeah, it's beautiful. It's like. It really hit very close to home. Obviously, just, you know, as we talked about or teetered back and forth between having another child, Tristan's biggest thing is, like, I don't. She's gonna be alone. You know, she won't have a sibling. She won't have anybody when we're not here. And I fully feel that. And I also, you know, put into perspective that some siblings hate each other.

[Tracy May]

So they do. You know, and some siblings kill each other.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

So it's like, you know, do I.

[Kia]

Think that would be the case? No, but you don't. And. But I do think that. That it's beautiful that we keep these things and we have these perspectives. You know what I mean? You know, it's like. You're right. It's funny because mothers don't get a lot of pictures with babies. Oftentimes we're the ones taking the pictures. And so If I'm on a lot of the baby. Yep. I be. I'd be screenshotting all over.

[Takiya]

I think Jay is so super good. I love. And I tell Jay all the time that her relationship with Noah kills the little girl in me. Because watching her do things with Noah because my mom. And I think, you know, and I think there's a lot of reasons why moms are not in the pictures, right? Like, absolutely. There's a lot of times I could say, similarly Tracy made. Where I don't have a lot of those pictures or images or. Cause Rhonda was at work.

[Kia]

Honey.

[Tracy May]

Latchkey kid era. Yeah.

[Takiya]

With my grandma. Because my mama was at work. Like, I think all the time about how, you know, I hear. Especially working in higher ed colleges and stuff, you know, that first move in is a big moment. And my memory of my move in was my mama saying, all right, get your bags. I've got to go. Like, all right. You know what I'm saying? All right. Now, she came back on the weekend to help me clean, but, like, since I had to move in on the weekday, we did not have. She could not. My mom could not take off of work to. You know what I'm saying? And then she peeled out of that parking lot on two wheels.

[Tracy May]

I'm like, meanwhile, you see, like, whole families, like, the dad is carrying and.

[Takiya]

The brothers are, like, helping. And I'm just like, I'm over here with my two suitcases, walking up this.

[Tracy May]

Desk, but please, s. Can I have some more?

[Takiya]

He's like, you know. You know, thank you. Somebody else's desk that help me. Thank you so much, sir. But, you know, I think. I think there. It just puts a lot of things into perspective. And. Yeah, yeah, you mentioned the puzzles and this and the sudoku and the traditions that you do around the holiday. But I know. I feel like. I feel like even outside of holidays, I find. And this was not something that I did with intention, but there are things that I do now that make me feel like I'm hanging out with my grandma or hanging out with my brother at Thanksgiving. It felt really good to, like, cook in the kitchen, in my own kitchen. And especially when I make certain things. Like, every time I make dressing, I literally see my grandma, because when I remember the time when she taught me how to make dressing, I see the kitchen. I see her sitting on the stool. There was this big bowl and all the things that she was walking me through the process. And so every time I make it, I'm right back there in the kitchen. With her. Same. In the gym, working out. Brian was always the athlete, and I was not. I was the nerd, the artsy one. You know, always singing and, you know, on the step team and twirling about the school. Brian played sports, and he always told me that I was an athlete. And it would be like, I got to get my nails done.

[Kia]

Please.

[Takiya]

Smooth.

[Tracy May]

And it would be like, no, I.

[Takiya]

Mean, we are athletes.

[Tracy May]

We are.

[Takiya]

We have. Cause he was, you know, that was his own little way of being dramatic. Like, your body is a machine, Takiya. You have to. You have to train it and be like, man. And so I didn't pay him no attention, really, because that was his thing. It wasn't mine. And so becoming a little, like, low key gym rat weirdly made me feel.

[Kia]

Like hot key sister at this point in life.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, high key at this point.

[Takiya]

But no, because I feel like I haven't been in a couple weeks because I've been not feeling well, but I'm. I'm on my way back. But like, that weirdly feels like I'm spending time with him. Yeah, I feel like it's weird sometimes in my mind, like, I. I imagine him being there. I imagine him, like, when I'm working and struggling and I want to end the set. Like, you know, a lot of times Maya would say, like, I need 12 reps. I'd be like, I'll give you eight. Right? But. But like, you know, I'll be doing number eight. I'll be doing number eight, and I'll be. I'll be here br. In my head. Don't be a bitch. And it's like. So I'm wondering if there are any things that you do that make you feel like you're spending time with your mom or that remind you of her in that way.

[Tracy May]

I get these flashes of songs. Me and my mom was a big, like, song maker, upper household.

[Kia]

Oh, I love that.

[Tracy May]

And I get these flashes of songs. Like we used to say we used to start a blockbuster, the theme song for blockbuster, but we would start every word with B, so it was like, blockbuster, bdo bow. The biggest. I don't know. So stuff like that. I. I just remembered the other week how she used to. When I was very little, she used to measure her forehead, and she would raise her eyebrows up like this, and she would be like, my forehead is this big. And then she would measure mine, and I'd be like, trying to raise my eyebrows. She would take her hand and go all the way back.

[Kia]

Oh, she was a troll.

[Tracy May]

I would be like. Like, stuff like that. Like, I just. I have these, like, flashes of just, like, funny things and stuff like that, you know, for majority of my life, it was just me and her. There was a couple times she was married in there, but we ain't gonna talk about that, but Fair. But, yeah, it was just always, you know, me and her. So we kind of had our own language. We kind of had our own, like, you know, thing with each other and that. It made it that much harder, you know, to lose her because you losing a whole, like. Like you said, that was a part of my personality. Like, she. She called me Goo Goo. Nobody has called me goo goo since 2010, right? And I remember walking the dogs outside one time, and I was like, I'm not a Goo Goo anymore. And it hit me.

[Kia]

I.

[Tracy May]

Walking the dogs in tears, like, nobody's gonna ever call me Goo Goo again. She was literally the only one that called me Goo Goo. So it's like, you are. We're. We're dropping pieces of ourselves, you know, along throughout the years. But I also think that we are growing from the pieces that we had to drop. It's like, oh, we have to grow. I don't know if y' all have read the Mountain Is yous. No, I don't know the lady's name, but the whole premise of the book is that the mountain, every. All the hurdles and everything you have to get over makes you who you are when you get to the other side. And so I thought that was really powerful because, you know, you could get stuck in a Woe is me. Oh, I'm so sad. And I. I have this. And, you know, me and Kia are the same where our grief will compound. I'll be like, I ain't got no mama, no dad, you know, Grandma, I got. No, man, I ain't got no kids.

[Takiya]

I ain't got no this.

[Tracy May]

And because I be. I think I'll be trying to make myself sad, you know, like, sadder. You know what I'm saying? Or something. I don't know, but I just be thinking of everything at the same time. But I don't know. It's interesting.

[Takiya]

It's.

[Tracy May]

It's one of those things.

[Kia]

It sounds like a constant ebb and flow, which it is when you lose some, you know, because sometimes you can be just living life and feeling good, and then a memory will hit you or a smell or whatever the case you've lost.

[Takiya]

I mean.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Had recent loss.

[Tracy May]

So, like, I think.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

How are you? Like, what are. Especially the Holidays or any of the things. Are anything coming up for you or any sort of new things.

[Tracy May]

Grandmas are hard.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Yeah. I think what's really. I think what's really coming up very often with the recent losses, you know, I'm spending as much time as I can with my other grandmother, who is, you know, that's. That's my girl. And I know that I'm her girl. You know what I mean? And she's also going to be 90 in February, so, you know, so I'm like, okay. I need to see her as much as humanly possible. I need to spend as much time with her as humanly possible. I need to make sure I capture her voice. Let me make sure I get a couple of videos with her. I forgot to take a picture with her this last time, and as soon as I left, I was like, like, we didn't take a picture, but I'm going to see her this weekend. So I'm like, let me make sure that I get some pictures with my grandmother. And I just keep fixating on the fact that she's not going to be here much longer. Yeah. You know, and I think that's what comes up, is I got two grandparents left. But then also, you talk to your friends, and you're like, I have no grandparents, no parents, no siblings, no dog. And you're like, well, you know.

[Tracy May]

Please. What do you mean?

[Kia]

So it's just. It's. It is. It's a constant ebb and flow. The grief, it's. I think it hits everybody at different times in different ways. Sometimes it slams you into the ground, and sometimes it just be like, yeah, I. You know, I love this about them, or I love that we did this thing.

[Takiya]

You.

[Kia]

You, Tracy, recently, you. You did some pictures or like, you had some. Some pieces from your mom, some clothes that you were able to. Yes. Tell us about that, please.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, so I believe that was for her birthday. My mama. My mama was one of those women who never got rid of an outfit, honey. And so, yeah, she got. She had the clothes from all the way, you know, to the 70s or whatever. And now I have those clothes. And so something, you know, in the Cowboy Carter tour, there's that part where Blue Ivy's like, Internet, like your mother would. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, I could do something cute where I change into, like, the clothes that I have pictures of her in and then show the picture of her with that same outfit on, and it turned out really cute. And it was very interesting, like, putting on the clothes and Seeing like, oh, this fits me perfectly. That means she was around this size when, you know, or stuff like that. I was just trying to, like, imagine, you know, who she was in these clothes at the same time. Time.

[Takiya]

So.

[Tracy May]

But yeah, it definitely was a feel good moment. It wasn't sad at all. It made me feel good. Yeah.

[Kia]

I love. I love when I hear that too, from. From loss. Right. I like. And it's not that. It's not because you get tired of people being sad, but. But it's. It's beautiful to see the other side of grief as well. And I think I've shared it before, but when my grandfather passed, he passed in 2013. My grandparents were married almost 64 years.

[Tracy May]

Oh, wow.

[Kia]

And that my grandma. They got married. My grandmother was 16 and he was 17, you know, and so I was. And then my other grandmother who just passed her and my grandfather met when they were 11 and 13. And like, they have.

[Tracy May]

And I can't even get a text back.

[Takiya]

I knew you was going.

[Kia]

You see what happened.

[Takiya]

I knew you were going to say that.

[Kia]

I'm not gonna let you get swept away in this.

[Tracy May]

What is wrong?

[Takiya]

But it's like, lord, you can't be the same down here.

[Kia]

No, they're not. They're not. They're not. No. But she. It was one day I called her. I want to say maybe it was a year after. It might have been the year date of his passing. And I said, grandma, how are you feeling today? And she said, you know, I talked to your grandfather today, and I looked at some pictures and I played a bunch of our favorite records and. And I feel. I feel okay. I feel good. And I wasn't expecting that, but it was just. It was like effervescent, you know what I'm saying? It just gave me, like, little bubblies in a way that I wasn't expecting, because I just knew. I'm like, you lost the love of your life for six of 64 years. You know, I just knew she would just be so sad that day. And she was like, no, I'm reminiscing on all the beautiful parts.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Of. Of our relationship. You know, So I love that you did that. And it would have been. It would have been perfectly normal for you to say, when I did that, it triggered things and I, you know, it made me sad. But I love that you walked away from. From that experience feeling good and still honoring who she was. Well, I'm like, how many of these pieces are we keeping? Because I know that. I know some of them is fly.

[Tracy May]

I'm trying to go, yeah, some of them was looking good. I was like, oh, but, Jay, you know, I got adhd, so I wanted to comment on something that you said before I forget, please. You said that you are, like, sort of anticipating your other grandma's passing. And I believe I was in. I don't know if it was life coaching or therapy, but I told Kia this the other day, too, where she said to me, you can't control now. You can't mentally prepare now for what's going to happen. Then it's because now it's putting you in the future that hasn't happened yet. And you're missing things in the present.

[Kia]

In the present. Yeah.

[Tracy May]

Yeah. So it's like I was trying to have. You know, I feel like every. I don't know if other people do this with siblings, but every only child that I know, you, like, act out this the time when you find out your parent died and you're like, oh, Lord, whoa, whoa, is me. And then you cry. You acted out, like, I don't know, we're weird.

[Kia]

This is why you were the person who we asked to be a part of this conversation during the holiday time. Thank you for your nuance, Queen, but please continue.

[Tracy May]

Yes. So you, like, you know, you imagine it because you're trying to prepare for that huge loss. And let me tell you, there's no preparation.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Wow.

[Tracy May]

There is no preparation. So I can tell you right now, y', all, if y' all at home, what. What. What happens with my. No, you just. Just enjoy the time that you have now because.

[Kia]

And that's what I'm trying to do. You know, it's less of, like, I'm trying to prepare emotionally, but more of a reminder. Right. Because we also. The other direction is that we oftentimes just. Just get caught up in life and forget that things are not always going to be the way that they are. And I've always had my grandma. Like, I could call her at any time. I could go see her, whatever the case was. And we're so close. And so I'm like, your time is winding down. Like, in all reality, you're 90 years old. Your time is winding.

[Tracy May]

And so all of our time is winding down.

[Kia]

Well, that is another conversation that I was not preparing for today.

[Tracy May]

You know, you never know who knows?

[Takiya]

And you.

[Kia]

We don't. And that's. That is also the great big okie doke and Whoopi. Do you know what I mean? It's like, you don't Know what your time is gonna look like, And I just want to be as intentional as I can. I don't want to, like, you know, like, I'm exhausted right now, and I. I'm supposed to go to Cleveland this weekend or whenever you. You all listen to this. I went to Cleveland at some point, and I'm supposed to go this weekend, and I'm like, I love seeing my kids, and I love seeing my grandma. I'm like, I'm so tired, though. And then I said, you know what? I'm. I never walk away feeling regretful that I did this thing. And also soak up every moment that you can with this lady. You know what I mean? And, like, intentionally soak it up so it's more from that vantage point. But I'm glad you said what you said about preparation, because that also, you know it all. We all like to cosplay a scene sometimes as well.

[Tracy May]

Child. I was winning Oscars at what?

[Kia]

Please, Tracy. Oh, my gosh.

[Tracy May]

You know what you should do? You should. One thing that I miss about my grandmother is that, like, now that I'm an adult, I feel like I missed out on asking her adult questions, you know, like, oh, tell me the time when this happened or what happened when you was. When you moved out and you moved in with Granddaddy. Like, I need to know the tea.

[Kia]

You know what I do need? And I. And I've started getting it from certain family members. Not. My grandma's always been really transparent, but I do need to, like, there's certain. Certain timelines where I know things have happened, and I need to probably dig a little deeper because I have other family members now as I'm older. They're. You know, they're like, oh, yeah, did you know at this time, your uncle did. Blah, blah, blah. And I was like, oh, yeah, you know? And I'll be like, oh, okay. All right, Tell me more.

[Takiya]

Yes, say more.

[Kia]

I'm not selling it to Tia. I'll tell you. You that right now. Shout out to you Cortez. But I'm not. He won't. I won't be selling it to that man. I promise you that.

[Takiya]

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[Tracy May]

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[Kia]

Score holiday gifts everyone wants for way less at your Nordstrom Rack store. Save on Ugg, Nike, Rag and Bone, Vince Frame, Kurt Geiger, London, and more.

[Takiya]

Because there's always something new. I'm giving all the gifts this year with that extra 5% off when I use my Nordstrom credit card. Santa who join the Nordiclub at Nordstrom.

[Kia]

Rack to unlock our best deals.

[Takiya]

It's easy.

[Kia]

Big gifts. Big, big perks. That's why you rack. What is something each of you right now would ask your mother or grandmother as an adult lady that I and I will take that question back to my grandma.

[Tracy May]

I think I would. If we only get one question that that shouldn't be a rule, but what one thing I would like to talk to them about is their marriages. And if they think because I, I hear a lot of divorced, you know, older divorced women being like, don't do it again.

[Takiya]

Don't do it.

[Tracy May]

I'll never do it again. And so I really want to know, like, especially my grandmother, like way back when she got married and, you know, women couldn't get a Mortgage and women couldn't get a credit card. And. Yeah, she just kind of. She just kind of stayed, I guess. I want to know that life. I want to know what that was like and how she felt. And then my mother went through her. Both of her marriages to my dad and her second husband were, like, abusive. So I would ask her about, like, do you just wish you didn't. Like, you didn't marry him? Or, like, what. What was it? What did you, like, really think? You know what I mean? I don't know. I would definitely ask about these dudes, though.

[Kia]

Yeah, I. I'm actually going. I put the. I wrote both of those down because. And I have a feeling I know what she's gonna say, because them niggas really like that each other. They, like, loved and liked each other. My grandfather loved my grandmother's dirty bath water.

[Tracy May]

I swear to God, that is so cute.

[Kia]

It's really beautiful. And how she met him at school, kindergarten.

[Takiya]

She heard what she said.

[Kia]

Okay. She found him. So my grandmother has a. She has a story. She was raised by her father in New York, and then she was. Was physically abused by her stepmother. My great grandmother could not raise her because she had her own mental health stuff. And truth be told, I don't think what everybody is saying. Well, they said it, but they didn't say, like, that's why she couldn't raise it. She was a lesbian. That. Yes. You know, yet that time it was. Was. Remember, my grandmother was born in 1936. My great grandmother was a lesbian with a living friend.

[Takiya]

Come on.

[Kia]

So my. My grandmother was your life. Live your life queen. She. Thank you, ancestress. And so my grandmother had to.

[Tracy May]

She.

[Kia]

She had to move suddenly from New York to Alabama because she was being physically. So her stepmother has schizophrenia, and she was beating her. And so when she went to school, which this was so fascinating because this was. If my grandmother was born in 36, then this was the late 40s. And she went to school, and the school called my great grandfather and said, if you don't get her out of the house, we're going to put her in an orphanage because she's being abused. And I found it fascinating that a black girl in the late 40s, the school was, made that kind of call. But she had to go down to Alabama suddenly. And that's where she met my grandfather, who had his own stuff going on. He had to quit School at 12 and was a construction worker. You know what I mean? And so I don't. I need to find out Exact. That's a good question. How they. How they met exactly? I want to say it was through one of his sisters, but they.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, I needed.

[Kia]

I need to get the details.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, for sure.

[Kia]

Story. Yeah. Wow.

[Tracy May]

I love that. I think we talked before, and I was telling you I love to, like, collect stories, and I love to, like, make up, you know, stories about people on the train or whatever. Oh, all the time. Me.

[Kia]

Interesting. Used to figure out what crimes people committed. We called everybody unsubs because we were obsessed with criminal minds.

[Takiya]

I looked it up. The book the Mason is you is. Is by someone named Brianna Weist.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Mountain is you transforming self sabotage into self mastery. I'm gonna pick it up. Okay.

[Kia]

Yes. Yeah, I want to get a copy.

[Takiya]

Yes. I. I would ask my grandma. So I. I agree with the one question rule. That's crazy. But that's crazy.

[Kia]

I didn't say. You all know that you fully made that up, right? I never said.

[Takiya]

I never said you was making.

[Kia]

I just didn't want to, like, overwhelm you with. Give me a list of questions you.

[Takiya]

Want me to ask my grandma. There you go.

[Kia]

Now I'll fuck with you all. Do it.

[Takiya]

Similarly, I would ask. I would ask. So interestingly enough, in the spirit of capturing stories and, like Jay said, just trying to spend as much time with DD as I can. A couple. Like, earlier this year, I was in Nashville just talking to him, and I had my iPad sitting on the table. We was just talking. We talked about a lot of things. His childhood that I. That I had heard but didn't know specifically. Like, so did. I was the third son. Third oldest. His two older brothers were in the Korean War, and they sent draft papers for DDOT but he had to go. He had to go to the office and say, if I go, there's no man in the house to take care. Right. Or my mother or my grandmother. And so they agreed that he didn't have to go to the draft, but he had to drop out of school and work. And so he was. He told me that story. He told me, like, you know, where he started working, what his first jobs were in that. He started talking about how he met grandma. And I want to get her side. I feel like.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, I know. That'd be the part.

[Takiya]

I did not get to hear her side because as I listened to him and y' all know, I stand. Dita, I love him, but, you know, I'm like. Like, you put some sauce on it. I think you put a little sauce on it.

[Kia]

I need a Little sauce. I wish I could have done that with my other grandmother, too, too, like, where I could have gotten her by herself. The problems I could. You couldn't separate those.

[Takiya]

Exactly.

[Kia]

Worse.

[Takiya]

Exactly.

[Kia]

The other ones I just told you all about.

[Takiya]

Wow.

[Kia]

But I know my grandmother. I know she. I know she would have been honest, because I remember when I got. I got my first set to at like, 15, and it was a secret for a second. And then somebody found out, told my mother. You know, it was a whole thing or whatever. Right. So it became this whole thing. My grandmother is like, she. The next time I saw her, she. She was like, I always wanted a butterfly tattoo on my shoulder.

[Tracy May]

You got that from me.

[Kia]

Just so you know.

[Takiya]

I feel like did. I told the story through his lens, and I heard that. I would have loved to hear her story. And while grandma loved her children and her family. And I do feel like, like I said before, like, her and the home that she made for us, like, she was a professional.

[Kia]

Right.

[Takiya]

So whatever. Like, that's. Like I've said. I've talked about that at great length, but I've always wondered. So I told y' all the story. How my grandma would say, like, you know, she was proud of me. Like, she was proud of the fact that I did not need a man.

[Kia]

Yep.

[Takiya]

And she was vocal about that in her own way. But I would love to ask her. And this is not to say I'm sure that it would never be that she would choose to not be with D and not have her kids, but I would love to know if you could do whatever you want as a single woman in this world, if you could pick whatever you wanted to do and do it, what would that be?

[Tracy May]

Yeah, that's a good one. I like.

[Kia]

That is a good one. Wait.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, write that down.

[Takiya]

Because she did what she had to do, and she loved what she had to do to do, and it be. It was her life's work. But I feel like there was something that she wanted to do I would like.

[Tracy May]

Yeah. Because my grandmother.

[Takiya]

Yeah, yeah.

[Kia]

Because my grandmother, like, she's one of those. That's like, I was born to have kids, right? She's like, if I could have. She had eight kids. She said, if I could have had 10 more, I would have. So she, like, she lived to be a mother. But I. I would love to know, outside of that, what was your jam and what would have been your jam had you not started popping. Popping babies out for a decade.

[Takiya]

Exactly.

[Kia]

Damn.

[Tracy May]

You know what I mean?

[Takiya]

Exactly. And I think about all These are good programming that's like, you know.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

They grew up in a time where women were literally born to do that. Like, they were not given the opportunity to dream and to think beyond that role, because that role was tied to their. Their solvency, their livelihood. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, for my. When. That's what put it in perspective for me. Like, when she would go crazy over the couch I bought or the things that. The choices that I made in my house, and she was like, I never. I never. My grandma told me at 91 that she never bought a couch by herself. I never bought.

[Tracy May]

Wow.

[Kia]

Yeah. That's my grandma with her new furniture. I never had a new piece of furniture. And I was like, well, we gotta fix that.

[Takiya]

Exactly, exactly. And it sounds like that's, like, completely foreign. That's outside of our cultural context entirely. But the fact that, you know, my grandma, like, the fact that we get to go on girls trips blew grandma's mind.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Kia]

It was like, what do you mean?

[Tracy May]

I mean.

[Takiya]

I mean, when we.

[Tracy May]

All the girls.

[Takiya]

And she said, and where were any.

[Kia]

Of the husbands, girls?

[Tracy May]

Well, nowhere with the husband. She was like, and we're with the.

[Takiya]

Jade has a husband, Doesn't. Where's Jade's husband?

[Kia]

I said, he was home.

[Takiya]

And where was Keisha's husband? What's not there?

[Kia]

Carry them babies.

[Tracy May]

They were.

[Kia]

I don't know where they were because I was in it.

[Takiya]

You can see her.

[Tracy May]

Her.

[Takiya]

You can see the bombs going off. Her mind was literally blown. Like, I'm not. It's not completely computing. So you telling me that you and eight women. I said, well, no. Bobby and Cortez was there. Asante.

[Kia]

Yeah. You know, 13 of us, all in all, you know.

[Takiya]

Right. And she was like, but you. Y' all just went. I mean, it just went on.

[Tracy May]

On your own.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Yes. Yes, we did.

[Kia]

Once again, One more time.

[Takiya]

Oh, my God, I love that.

[Kia]

What are you.

[Takiya]

What are you.

[Kia]

What are you looking forward to, Tracy? Like, what are you looking forward to with the holidays? Do you look forward to anything with the holidays? Have you formed your own traditions, or are you just gonna continue your sudokus and your crosswords and, like, you know, I.

[Tracy May]

Every year, I say, I'm gonna start a tradition. I'm like, oh, I'm gonna be. Because me and my mama love games. And so I'm like, oh, I can have, like, a cousin game night and invite everybody over. And every year I say this, and I have not done it because my house is always messy.

[Takiya]

So.

[Tracy May]

You Know, I was just like. So I, I don't really look forward to anything. I think Christmas more so than Thanksgiving is one of those holidays where the immediate family is really. Immediate family holiday. You start at your immediate family. You might go to grandma's house or go to somebody else's house, but really you come as a unit, as you're. And so I don't go to any family members homes for Christmas or whatever. I just think it just makes me feel weird and bad. I never want anybody to feel like, well, you know, we gotta invite Tracy. She ain't got, she ain't got nobody.

[Kia]

No. Why you gotta say it like that?

[Tracy May]

I don't want that at all. Like, but also at the same token, I, I don't like to be invited to stuff where I feel like I have to perform and be like, hello, my baby. Hello, my honey. I don't, I don't want to do that either. So that's why I think I just stay at home. I mind my business. Okay. I drink my water. Okay. So yeah, I don't really have any. I mean, I think it's gonna be like just another day.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

Unfortunately.

[Kia]

I'm listening to you. Noah came in here and farted and.

[Takiya]

Cause she loves to troll.

[Kia]

Like she loves Jade in that way.

[Takiya]

That's her.

[Tracy May]

Jade point her butt in the doorway.

[Kia]

Pointed it like right at me.

[Takiya]

And Absolutely.

[Kia]

I'm listening to these main, these meaningful words from you. And I'm like trying to. She does. I was like, oh, it's in my mouth.

[Takiya]

Do that far at me.

[Kia]

And she likes to fire at me. I can't wait for her to accidentally herself so she can learn her lesson playing.

[Takiya]

I'm like, you gonna keep playing. You're gonna play stupid games and win stupid prizes.

[Tracy May]

Okay.

[Kia]

But, but I do, I, I, I that you. I think you did create a tradition. Actually saying you're going to create traditions every year.

[Tracy May]

That's my.

[Kia]

Sounds like a tradition.

[Tracy May]

One day, maybe kind of a little.

[Kia]

You, it's gonna come to you. And you're gonna do it when you're ready to do it.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Do it your way. When it's time.

[Kia]

Exactly.

[Takiya]

To be done.

[Kia]

Exactly. Exactly. And what would you tell somebody else dealing with the grief around this time?

[Tracy May]

You know, I was. First of all, I never can complete any idea that I have. So I'm saying this out loud, but it probably will never be done. So don't nobody call me or text me.

[Kia]

Like everybody call her and text her.

[Tracy May]

No, I need no accountability. I cannot be accountable. But I really, really would like to start a only child dead parents club. And in ocdp, We would spend, you know, some of these. These holidays where it's like we would form our own community. You know what I'm saying? Like we would. And so I guess that's my advice. Find people that, you know, don't make you. I don't want to say don't make you miss your person because you always are going to miss them, but sometimes you can feel out of place in somebody else's immediate family situation. So I would just recommend that you go to places where you feel welcomed and included and you feel like you can have a good time and you like the people. You're laughing. Y' all are doing things. I. I feel like that's like the ultimate goal for everybody who is, you know, an only child with their parents.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

Just to go somewhere and have a good time.

[Takiya]

That's it.

[Kia]

Listen, maybe everybody will email us what you know, at hello Getting grown co and let us know they're part of this club and sister, that means it was your calling. You put it out there.

[Tracy May]

No.

[Kia]

And no.

[Tracy May]

You can't. Editor. Editor.

[Takiya]

Not editor.

[Kia]

Leave it in. I need to do that. And I. But it's. It's a beautiful space that you're creating, right? Like, it's a beautiful space and I think people need that. And you're right. Fostering community, especially with those who can see and feel our experiences. And I've had those same experiences. Just. It just provides something that. That other people just can't. You know what I'm saying? I'm always fumbling over what to say to somebody who's lost a parent. Cuz I haven't lost a parent yet. You know what I mean? So. And I will ne. I will not know how that feels until I lose a parent. I can empathize all day, but I'll never know how that feels.

[Takiya]

Don't.

[Kia]

Why would you.

[Tracy May]

I just. If you ever like, do a cop play of like, can you just record it and just send it to me? You ain't got to.

[Kia]

Just for you. Just for you. The way you be recording that little mole.

[Takiya]

Right.

[Kia]

Rat or whatever the. That thing is for me with the singing, y', all, I would say every time Tracy May's name is mentioned, that. That whatever that little.

[Takiya]

Must describe it.

[Kia]

I don't know what it is. It's a possum or something. It's singing meeting in my bedroom. And it is the most amazing thing in the world.

[Takiya]

It's the most and.

[Tracy May]

Please.

[Kia]

I really love you, Tracy May. You are such a special person on this planet. I hope you know that.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

A. I love y', all, too. Thank y' all for having me. I feel somebody got a word on today. For sure.

[Kia]

That needed it. For sure. And what's one thing that you'd like to say to honor your mom? You know, before we, like, what would you like to say to honor her?

[Tracy May]

I would like to say. Oh, that's a good question. I would like to say hi. The moomoo. It's the Goo Goo.

[Kia]

Yeah. Stop. Oh, my God.

[Takiya]

Oh.

[Kia]

Oh, you're gonna make me cry, and I don't want to do that.

[Tracy May]

No. I put some napkins right here because I was like, I don't know if Kia gonna be on one.

[Takiya]

I made it through.

[Kia]

And. And. And, sis, what about yourself? What are you. What are you. Are you looking forward to anything? Are you gonna do anything to use your heart?

[Takiya]

I. I'm actually looking. You know, I think I did it last year. I think, you know, my job is to just sort of get through Christmas and then, like, you know, whether it's for New Year's or shortly thereafter, like, I tried to ease into the next year in a way that is restorative and sort of fills my cup. I know that.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

You know, it's still hard. It's still heavy, and I'm just trying to get through and be there for my mom as much as I can, and. But I'm looking forward to sort of that decompressing time after Christmas so that I can. And hopefully, like, reset and start in 2026 from a place that's, you know, do some rest, do some reflection, just sort of, like, get my care for my head and my heart, because I know that Christmas is going to be hard. So. So I'm trying to do that this year again. I did it last year. I don't know exactly how it's going to look yet, but that's what I'm. That's what I'm trying to do, and hopefully I can get that done.

[Kia]

I love it. I love it. And, you know, we are a community, so we're going to lean on each other, and I hope that something was said in this episode that will help you if you are grieving this holiday season or in general. You know what I mean?

[Tracy May]

You are not alone.

[Kia]

You are not by yourself. Tracy, tell everybody where to find you, where they can find Depression Nest and. And all of the assets.

[Tracy May]

So Depression Nest is on YouTube at. Tracy May and You could also follow me on Tick Tock. It's. You are girl Tracy May. Your girl Tracy maybe. And I'm gearing up to change some stuff on my YouTube channel for 2026. So I'm really excited y' all go over there and subscribe so that I could. I could be accountable to somebody, because I'm gonna get.

[Kia]

I'm gonna be a comment troll.

[Takiya]

Can't wait.

[Tracy May]

Yes. I love those. I love when people be like, tracy, it's. It's Thursday at 1pm where's the video? I be like.

[Kia]

I got a film.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Okay. All right. We're gonna have all of that in the description box. For sure. For sure. And we hope you all have a beautiful, beautiful holiday. And we'll see you in a moment. What.

[Tracy May]

What does Kia want to say to honor her brother?

[Kia]

Oh, yes. I am so sorry. It's okay. All right, rewind.

[Tracy May]

And what do you want to say to honor your grandma?

[Takiya]

That's why. Good question.

[Tracy May]

Thank you. Y' all tried to get out of the question.

[Kia]

No, you're the guest. You're the guest, nigga.

[Takiya]

I would say to Brian, you know, there's not one day where we don't think about you. We still. We still miss you. We still love you. I would say. I would say. Yeah. I mean, he's still all the brother I got. I just don't know. He's still all the brother I got, and I just couldn't miss you anymore. I feel the same way about Grandma. And I think one of the things that is. Oh, one of the things that is hard, but I don't know. I think. I think even in this phase of life, I think that I feel like I'm. My connection with Di is strengthening because he misses.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

And he talks about her, and we talk. Like, you know, the memories are still very live and in color, and it's helpful to talk to him about it. Mommy said that he talked about Brian the other day because it was snowing. And he would always talk about how Brian would help him. I never asked Brian. Brian just would get up in. He would shovel at the house. He would go down to the church and shovel, and I miss him. And he would go on grocery runs with DD So, like, I think. I think we just all keep talking about y'. All. I would say to grandma and Brian that we still talk about y' all like, y' all still here, y' all still alive. And I don't know that that's something that will ever change, but, you know, we love Y', all. Big, big, big man. We miss you.

[Kia]

Yeah. Yeah. My Mimi. What would I say to my Mimi? Well, I can tell you, if she heard me say that Noah farted, she'd be appalled because she hated the word fart. She hates fart pee. She's like. It's flatulate.

[Tracy May]

Wow.

[Kia]

Just, you know, intentionally get on her nerves. Oh, I would let. I would. I would let her know, I cleaned your cabinets out, girl. And your fridge and freezer. And the freezer was like her. That was her safe space. She'd be appalled. And she would be appalled because my grandmother liked to talk. You know what I mean? Like, that was just. That was. Was her. That was her love language. And she loved to, like. She loved to correct. Like, that was like her jam.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, she was. She was, like, poised.

[Kia]

Yeah, she was really poised. Like, she was. She was a dancer back in the day. Okay. Yeah, she was a ballet dancer.

[Takiya]

Perfect posture.

[Kia]

Yeah, she had perfect posture. She was a. She was a lady who was very much into her fashions. Exactly. Your great granddaughter is such a lady.

[Tracy May]

Oh, my God. You have fallen so far.

[Takiya]

Oh, my God.

[Kia]

But I would let her know that, you know, we were so similar, and I don't think I realized that until after she passed, and I. I feel like I got some of the. The. The best parts of who she was as a person, and I'm really grateful for that. And, you know, we're keeping her. Her pieces alive, even though it may not be the way that she would have worn them. Her fashions were dispersed among the family. We are rocking them in honor. Noah wears her leather jacket to school, and I just find that kind of connection to be really beautiful. And we had a complicated relationship. You know, it was very challenging at times, but also, we saw each other, too, and so, you know.

[Tracy May]

Yeah. Probably was too much alike.

[Kia]

I think that my. Outside of the poise, because that's where it was.

[Takiya]

Yeah. Outside of that.

[Kia]

I think we were very similar just in having very strong personalities.

[Takiya]

If you.

[Tracy May]

I wasn't gonna say. I was just adjusting it.

[Takiya]

I was.

[Kia]

Yeah. Yeah. Also on the social post. This should be the social clip right now. Check out Tracy, Man.

[Takiya]

A woman in stem. Okay.

[Tracy May]

Period.

[Kia]

I think this was very therapeutic.

[Tracy May]

And it feels good to talk about our people, right? Yeah, it feels good to, you know, just talk about them out loud.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

My cousin is doing this thing this year. My cousin also lost her mom, and she. She wrote letters to, like, everybody in her family and, like, people that knew her mom and asked them to tell her stories. That we remember. Like, what's your favorite story? With my mom. That's how you gonna collect all the stories that. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's gonna be good.

[Kia]

There's a book I want to say, it's. It might just be called Bourdain and shout out to you, Lori. Lori Williver wrote it, and she essentially compiled all of these stories. Lori was his assistant for the last 10 years before he passed, and she's also a writer as well and a phenomenal. A human being. But she compiled stories of Anthony Bourdain's life from, like, high school people who knew him in every iteration of his life. And the entire book is told just literally through people's experiences with him. And I find. I think that's really beautiful.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

Oh, God, I really love that. I just love stories because we are not the same people to every person that we meet.

[Kia]

Yeah. They weren't all, like, you know.

[Tracy May]

Yeah. And then sometimes, like, I think about some people know me with glasses, and some people have never seen me wearing glasses. People have their own, like, iteration of you in their mind, and the stories that they remember are probably not the stories that you remember.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

So I love collecting those stories. It's just so fire.

[Kia]

It is. It is a beautiful way to honor your loved one. I saw also a post the other day of some high school friends who write a letter and an update to their friend every so often, and they'll get together and reminisce about that friend and. And give her the updates of everything that's going on in their lives. And I thought that was really sweet, too. I thought that was a really beautiful way to honor. So let's all try to do the best we can to. To, you know, lift the memories up of the people that we loved and have become our ancestors and. And so forth, and, you know, try to just ground yourself in the holidays and whatever it is that makes you feel like you're getting what you need. And it doesn't matter what anybody else says. That. That. What that should look like, you know, And I think. I think that's where we leave it. Do you all have any last thoughts?

[Takiya]

Thoughts? I do not. I just. I'm appreciative. Thank you.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Takiya]

Gracie. For being just a dope.

[Kia]

Very much so. Yeah.

[Takiya]

Just for always.

[Tracy May]

Thanks for having me, guys.

[Takiya]

You know, you know, just being an amazing process partner and sharing your journey and sharing your story with all of us. Not only, you know, getting grown, but all the ways in which you share your stories on YouTube and everywhere else. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

[Kia]

Very much.

[Tracy May]

Thank you. I love y'. All. Thank y' all so much for having me. I think it's super important for people who have depression or who are going through grief based depression to know that you are not alone, especially during the holiday season. I know there's a lot of people who feel like they can't do it anymore in the holiday season. And I just want everybody to know if you feel like that, you should call 988 this holiday season and let somebody talk you through that. But please remember that you are not alone. And that's all I got.

[Kia]

That's beautiful. I love a resource. So thank you for giving us an actual resource. We'll make sure we put that in the description box as well. And we'll see you all for the next segment.

[Tracy May]

The McDonald's Snack Wrap is back. You brought it back.

[Takiya]

Ranch snack wrap. Spicy snack wrap. You broke the Internet for a snack Snack wrap is back.

[Kia]

Score.

[Tracy May]

Holiday gifts.

[Kia]

Everyone wants for way less at your Nordstrom rack store. Save on Ugg, Nike, Rag and Bone, Vince Frame, Kurt Geiger, London and more.

[Takiya]

Because there's always something new. I'm giving all the gifts this year with that extra 5% off when I use my Nordstrom credit card. Santa who join the Nordy Club at.

[Kia]

Nordstrom Rack to unlock our best deals.

[Takiya]

It's easy.

[Kia]

Big gifts, big perks. That's why you rack. I deserve.

[Tracy May]

Okay, let's do.

[Takiya]

I know that's right. Right quick.

[Tracy May]

I know that's right.

[Takiya]

I would like to shout out my friend Lillian because Lillian has started a black greeting. Well, it's not just black greeting cards. I mean, it's for black people. But she started a greeting card line as a black woman. And what we love about it is that these are messages, you know, that are for us, right? They are for us. They are by us. And each greeting card comes with a QR code to a curated playlist for the occasion. Might be. So the company is called Pen to Perfection. The website is pentoperfection.org I'll put make sure that the proper links are tagged in the description box. But these are cards for us, by us. So there is a card that says, I know I need to call the lady. There's a card that says, you know, I miss us the way we used to be. There's a card that says, you know, you can come over for Christmas, but you are not bringing the macaroni and cheese. Oh, that's not for you.

[Kia]

Oh, yes.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Takiya]

There are messages for us, by us. And I mean, they're also sort of more standard messages, but they are more message for friendship breakups, messages for new, like if you're dating someone and it's a new interest, like they're. They're just a more curated sort of set of circumstances that. For which a greeting card would be appropriate. And I'm very proud of her. You know, this is something that she's been wanting to do for a long time. She's a writer. She has written several, I think at least several books that they this point. But the messaging I think is really cool. I'll read it really quickly. It says in a day and age when communication is often minimized to emojis and one word text pinned to perfection is a beautiful gesture that serves as the icebreaker before having honest conversations with the people who mean the most. Our hope is that you not only see yourself in the images, but that the words and songs resonate with both you and the recipient and result in more moments of joy, healed relationships and new beginnings. So they're beautiful cards. The art, like, you know, if someone went for a job and didn't get it, there's a card for that. If there is a, you know, along the lines of this conversation, there's a thinking of you for people who are grieving during the holidays. Letting them know that you see them and they don't have to do nothing they don't want to do, but you want to just let you let them know that you're thinking about them. The talk to the lady one, I think is my favorite. You can bring the vibes this year, just not the Mac and cheese. You know, it's just a lie. And then there's the one that's really cute. That's like, you know, a stick figure family, like black little stick fingers. And it says, pretend this is my family because I didn't have time, I didn't have time for that photograph this year.

[Kia]

Oh, that needs to be me because I'm horrible with the holiday pictures, but.

[Takiya]

They'Re really dope cards. They're beautifully detailed design. I think the curated playlist is a beautiful touch and they're sort of like culturally specific messages for us about the real, the real challenges and ebbs and flows of relationships. So shout out to Lillian. Like I said, pin to perfection. The cards are available for purchase online and she's going to do lots of popups. She did a popup in the DMV and she'll be going all over the place, but just wanted to Shout her out because it's dope. And I know that's right. So we love you, Lillian.

[Tracy May]

Proud of you, girl.

[Kia]

I love that. Yeah. Shout out to you, Lillian. And I. I looked it up, so it's pinned. P, E, N, N, Right?

[Takiya]

Yes. T, O Perfection.

[Tracy May]

Oh, yes. I would have wrote that down, but yes.

[Kia]

Check that description box. And I know y' all don't like.

[Takiya]

Intentionally inclusive, unconventional greeting cards that cover everything from tender expressions of love to difficult conversations about betrayal, loss, and disappointment.

[Kia]

I love that. Shout out to you. That's dope.

[Takiya]

Okay, you.

[Kia]

I love that. For any time of year.

[Takiya]

Not anytime.

[Kia]

Any time of the year.

[Takiya]

Not just holidays. Anytime there's a breakup on here, there's. Can we try again? No.

[Kia]

But can you create one for me? I'm. I needed to. To say, what are you talking to your therapist about? And I'm gonna start handing it out to niggas.

[Takiya]

Be greeted with that. Here's a list of things you need to talk to that lady about. Let's get it. Let's get it.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Takiya]

Let's have the conversation.

[Kia]

I can. Because I need to know.

[Tracy May]

I.

[Kia]

Matter of fact, hand me her phone number. I'mma call herself. Give me a card for me to give. I need a. Need a. I need a beautiful greeting card that makes that easier.

[Takiya]

Hello?

[Kia]

But we are gonna close out this holiday episode with a petty peeve, and Tracy May is joining us for the petty peeve. So let's head on over there.

[Takiya]

All right.

[Kia]

Petty peeve time. I hate when you go to a business and the person who helps you is so nice, but they're horrible at their job.

[Takiya]

Oh, like pleasant.

[Kia]

So much so that you don't want anybody else to experience this level of inept. You know what I mean? And you feel guilty if you complain on them, but also, they're up the flow. But you know what? This economy looks like most unfortunate. And you don't want to get nobody fired. But also, God damn, they're so bad at their job. That's my petty peeve this week.

[Takiya]

What a mess.

[Kia]

Because one of my favorite coffee shops has a new girl there, and she is pleasant as peach pie.

[Tracy May]

Awful.

[Takiya]

Oh.

[Kia]

At her job, I mean, she forgets things. She gives wrong information. I was like, I want to get this. This item. I want to add avocado to it, because I know that that item doesn't come with avocado because I order it often, all the time. And she was like, oh, it comes with avocado. And I said, no, girl. I don't Think so. But it's all good. Okay, maybe they changed it up. Up. So they bring my salad. It has no avocado. So I go back to the counter and I was like, hey, so this didn't have any avocado on it. Oh yes, that was my mistake. I thought it had avocado. Was reading the wrong salad. I'll ring you up for a side now.

[Tracy May]

Nah, at this point, just give me something in my hand.

[Kia]

And I don't go looking for free things. But it's just. And this happened three different things. It was like, oh yeah. And I. What do you mean oh yeah? Like, come on, man.

[Tracy May]

Like.

[Kia]

She was so. She was so horrible at her job. It was such a nice person. I was like, this is infuriating in a different way. Like I. I feel like this is a different. Because you can't really emote and express that. You know what I mean? Otherwise you are the. You would be the full in this scenario.

[Tracy May]

But I kind of feel that way about old, old workers. Like older ladies or something. If they work at like a diner or something. I'd be like, it's fine, Loretta. It is really fine. You don't have to go back there. I will. Where's the ice machine? I'll go back.

[Kia]

It's no problem. It's no problem, Rosetta. I know a old drivers too. Cuz I be ready to roll a window down and. And I'd be like, mother, they're old. And then I just.

[Takiya]

Right.

[Kia]

And then I, you know, deflate. So that's a different type of test and a different type of infuriation, you know, in your bones. Cuz there's really no place for it to go. But that's it. That's my petty that it's extremely petty. It is this, this holiday season. What about you two? Who wants to go next?

[Takiya]

Do you have one, Tracy?

[Tracy May]

I do have one. I'm trying to pick. I. I have a lot of petty peeps because I'm a Scorpio. I'll just pick a simple one.

[Takiya]

But.

[Tracy May]

I hate when people say woohoo. Because I can understand woo, but that woo is diabolical. Why did you say who after the woo? I.

[Takiya]

Nobody says that.

[Tracy May]

I'm telling you. You guys got to work around white people. White people be saying this.

[Kia]

I'm telling you.

[Takiya]

I don't know what I'm saying. Like, nobody says that.

[Tracy May]

I mean.

[Takiya]

Say it again so I can bust.

[Kia]

That might be one of the best petty peeves we've ever had. It might be one of the pettiest petty peeves. That might be the pettiest petty pee.

[Takiya]

You said you had.

[Kia]

I do, too.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Kia]

I mean, let the chopper spray, please. This is your space.

[Takiya]

Okay.

[Tracy May]

I hate. I hate when denim blue jean companies make plus size jeans, but they don't reinforce that thigh area. You know, our thighs are rubbing together.

[Kia]

You know there's going to be.

[Tracy May]

You know, the thighs are rubbing. It's thin.

[Kia]

It's going to get thin quick.

[Tracy May]

It's thinning out too fast. Like, y' all doing that on purpose so we could have to buy some more jeans. But if, you know, you making the jeans hella big, baby. Them thighs, you think our thighs don't touch?

[Kia]

I. Somebody needs to come out with a curvy girl jean that has, like, just a little extra padding of material there. You know, like how they started making those socks with the padding on the back of the hills so those airbags can stop tearing you to fucking.

[Tracy May]

But then what does it make it look like you got cellulite?

[Takiya]

A little bit.

[Kia]

I was like, maybe like, I got a little lymphedema.

[Takiya]

Yeah. I think there's got to be a way to reinforce.

[Kia]

There's got to be something.

[Tracy May]

I've always said the person that invents the easy solution, like, I know they have the little patches, but they don't be matching and stuff like that. The person that invents the easy solution for that is the Millionaire instant.

[Kia]

Yeah. No, you're not wrong.

[Tracy May]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Okay. I'd like it. Do you have another.

[Takiya]

Jeans are so infuriating.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, I have one last one, but I talked about this on my Instagram stories. In this age of, you know, GLP1s and people being on Ozempic and losing weight and everything like that, I, too, have been losing weight, but not from the GLP1s, from my ADHD meds. And I hate that skinny people didn't tell us everything.

[Takiya]

Let me.

[Tracy May]

Okay, let me tell y' all something. Y', all, please. When you lay on your side, this is for my big people. And yeah, all my plusies, my curvy girls, come here.

[Kia]

Can all my skinny bitches come to the front?

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

When you lay on your side and you put your knees together, that's bone on bone action right there. When you. First of all, why would they make that the standard of what, you know?

[Takiya]

Oh, beauty.

[Tracy May]

Why am I comfortable? So somebody can lay on me. You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I can even lay on myself.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Tracy May]

Talking about. And then people in the comments Was like, all you got to do is put a pillow. Did Jesus put a pillow?

[Kia]

I don't know. He slept outside for a month and 10 days, so I don't.

[Tracy May]

I don't think I'm like, y' all got to be cute. Extra accessories to sleep on their side. Leave me alone. Leave me alone. So, yeah, I'm mad at skinny people who didn't tell us they didn't create.

[Kia]

A proper apparatus for all of that.

[Tracy May]

They like the pillows that are specifically for you. But it's like, I think the ball should. Y' all should have told me that part when I. When I was like, what hurts? The. The part is every. Not every. I'm gonna speak for myself. When I was like, you know, my. My Highest weight was 287, right? So when I was, like, in 287, I always said, and if I could just be skinny for 24 hours to see if I like it, then I would do the work to, like, get there. But if I don't like it, then I'm. But I just feel like as I'm losing weight, I am finding things out that I don't like. Like, my shin bone is basically exposed. There's a thin layer of skin. Bitch, if I bump into any, I'm breaking a femur or whatever that bone is right there.

[Kia]

I.

[Tracy May]

Nobody told me this. The skinny hoes are holding back. Like, they not saying everything. They not saying, like, oh, yeah, everything is uncomfortable when I lay down. Ho. Why you on say that? That's all. That's my.

[Kia]

You brought the best pettiest piece.

[Takiya]

Yeah. I don't even feel like I should add anything. I don't have any.

[Tracy May]

I feel like, no, you gotta go.

[Kia]

No. Do you have one, sis?

[Takiya]

You did.

[Kia]

You did commute.

[Takiya]

I did. And, you know, anger, like, it's just like the whole community.

[Kia]

The people are getting stupider. Right?

[Takiya]

I think that there is just. And I know that I'm getting older, but I just feel like the ways that the people are just way reckless. I've never experienced driving like I seen today, like. Or just like. You know what I'm saying? And I. I hear myself turning into my. I was on the phone with my mom as I was driving home, and so it was like Massachusetts Avenue. So it's two lanes on both sides. The person coming, like, toward us just decides to turn around in the middle of the street, like, just bust a ue. Like, not.

[Tracy May]

That's my Chicago right there.

[Kia]

That's annoying. Some DMV shit, because they not like.

[Takiya]

Like, it is not like we were at the light and there was space in time. Like, he literally just decided to do it. I can't think of for any other.

[Kia]

Reason other than what was he driving? Was it a Charger?

[Takiya]

No, it was. It was a Hyundai. A Hyundai with the Y.

[Tracy May]

Not a Hyundai.

[Takiya]

Yeah, it was a Hyundai. It was a Hyundai because I remember. And it was this really stupid royal blue color. I was like, look at this here with this electric blue color.

[Kia]

Did it have a spoiler on the back?

[Takiya]

Yes, I'm sure. Yeah. And I mean, it just went in front of me.

[Kia]

That's a dickhead behind the wheel.

[Takiya]

Me and the, like, it was like me and two cars. The car and the lane next. We literally, like, looked at each other like, do you see this nigga? Like, it was just like.

[Tracy May]

Do you? Road rage.

[Takiya]

Yes. And what do.

[Kia]

Jade, I am the keeper, okay? I am Oz. I am God of road rage.

[Takiya]

I have had moments, like, moments where I've surprised myself. Like, wow, I didn't know. But no, Chicago, I don't think you can have it.

[Kia]

Well, let me be clear. I, you know, as I have grown, I express a little differently. I will roll up on somebody, roll the window down, and be like, do.

[Tracy May]

You think I can read your mind?

[Kia]

Why would you make a turn like that? And then, you know, see, then.

[Takiya]

That is a tame reaction for Jay. Like, that's Jay being reasonable.

[Kia]

It is. It is. Because what are you doing on the road? You're being reckless. This.

[Tracy May]

I'm going to give you my tip.

[Kia]

Please.

[Tracy May]

Always imagine that whoever is driving, whoever's driving recklessly, stupidly, whatever they are, their brain is in shambles. Somebody's in the hospital. They, they have to make it. They just got bad news. They, they're. They're in labor right now. I always just be like, okay, they're going through something.

[Kia]

Yeah, that's, that's lovely and evolved. That's lovely and evolved.

[Tracy May]

I had to, like, like, come up with a method because I have road race, too, but they be shooting people out here in Chicago, so I, I, I had to do away with it.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Tracy May]

It wasn't worth it.

[Kia]

Yeah. I won't scream at everybody, but every once in a blue, I'll catch a, in a Kia Sorento and I at a light. You know what I'm saying?

[Takiya]

It's always the Nissan. No, it's always a Nissan.

[Kia]

Okay. Especially in Maryland. Let me.

[Tracy May]

The Optimus, Maryland.

[Takiya]

It's like, here you come with this Murano you.

[Kia]

Because here you go. Those are the, those Are the ladies who have all the keychains, you know, and they get out of their morano with their Stanley cup and their keychain clinking everywhere. Like, girl, now they might have somewhere to be. I'm looking for my nail appointment, you know what I mean? So.

[Tracy May]

One time, people just can't drive, you know?

[Takiya]

That's true.

[Kia]

There's an idiocy that is, like, growing rapidly in society.

[Takiya]

It's true. One time, girl, I was turning into the Wegmans and this girl, like, bumped my. Like, she hit the back of my car and tried to drive off. This is when I felt like. And I called you Jay. I think I told you. I was like, I think Jay possessed my body. Because I followed her, right?

[Tracy May]

I follow her all the way to your home.

[Takiya]

I follow her. And she pulled into that wegmans and she tried to lose me. I like, blocked her in.

[Kia]

Like, girl, yes, girl. Fast and motherfucking furious. Bitch 14. I'm ludicrous.

[Takiya]

Like, after I had blocked locked her in, I thought, like, maybe this wasn't smart.

[Kia]

But I know that that's always settle. It settles in later on. I'm like, damn, that could have killed me.

[Takiya]

I mean, she was crazy.

[Kia]

I could have.

[Takiya]

She could have got out that car. It like, literally went in her bag and just. It would have been over with, but.

[Tracy May]

Could have because you could always get the license plate. I hate that I'm the voice of reason on this, because I shouldn't be, but you can always just get the license plate and then, like, yeah, I think you can, like, file on there, whatever, without talk to them.

[Kia]

I'm a vigilante and I love. I tortured the out of this man the other day who stole a parking spot from me. And I circled the block four different times to terrorize this mother. I was like, you know, going to want to leave your car there. So every time I start circling back around, he pull his phone out to try to get a picture of my license plate. I was never going to do anything to his car, but it was nice. I would.

[Tracy May]

You needed to be worried.

[Kia]

I mean, you know what I'm saying? Curtis Jackson just released a documentary. I'm. I'm adopting a little bit of that spirit. A problematic, horrible human being. I'm going to be a good person. I'd like to be a. A long grudge holder.

[Tracy May]

I agree with that.

[Kia]

You would. Scorpio Virgos too.

[Tracy May]

I'm not forgetting a damn thing.

[Kia]

And I love that. I love a Scorpio. You little Tauruses and leather Jackets. That's what you. Well, you all. This is another episode of. Of Getting Grown. I hope you're eating ham and leg of lamb or Chinese food, whatever it is that you. Yes, Tracy Mae.

[Tracy May]

Well, I've always got a last thought.

[Kia]

You was the one in the classroom, wasn't you?

[Tracy May]

Always.

[Kia]

Oh, I would have raised your hand.

[Tracy May]

I got a question. I'm sorry. Because Raylove Jr. Invited me to his family home, I have to shout out Raylove Jr. S podcast. It's called Seated. It's about movies. It's the. I think their tagline is like, black, black, blackity black. I don't know. It's.

[Takiya]

Okay.

[Tracy May]

Yeah, a black. A black show about a black podcast about movies. I don't even like movies. I'm more of a series girly myself. Character development.

[Takiya]

All right.

[Tracy May]

But it's so good. It's so entertaining that they are really diving into the. These movies.

[Takiya]

So awesome.

[Tracy May]

I love that. Yeah, y' all should check that out. Seated.

[Kia]

We will. We love Ray Love Junior. Ray Love Junior helped a lot with the Getting Grown LA show, so we definitely will always show love to Ray. Make sure you check out Seated.

[Tracy May]

Yay.

[Kia]

Because y' all ain't doing nothing right now anyway. I hope you're not, period. I hope you're not. Well, that has been another episode. Make sure you shop the Getting Grown merch. It is. Is still available for time until it goes to sleep for just a, you know, a hibernation. And make sure you check out the patreon and the YouTube. Support us across all platforms. Support Tracy May.

[Takiya]

Yeah.

[Kia]

As well. Links in the description box.

[Takiya]

Yes. Thank you.

[Kia]

A lovely holiday season. Sis, take us out and tell them what to do.

[Takiya]

We love you so much. We're so grateful for you all this holiday season. We are grateful for this community and all the ways that y' all lean in and love on us and each other. So we are sending you all the love and we're hoping that you're taking care of yourself by keeping your. Your mind moisturized. And you do that by minding your business. Even if you are amongst family, blood or chosen, there's nothing more. There's still space and time and opportunity and priority for moisturizing your mind by sitting the business that is yours and yours alone. Don't you let the people get on your nerves this holiday.

[Kia]

Let them fight, all right?

[Takiya]

Stay out of the mess. Secondly, you want to keep your insides moisturized by drinking just as much water as your body can sustain every day. Okay? Now, it's not the time for you to be dehydrated. And finally, you want to moisturize your largest organ, which is your skin, because your black will crack if it's dry. Toodaloos la collection Azzaro Wanted ofrese fragancias, aoudaces, calidas y sensuales prada tempurada the Most Wanted Odepafem intense 10 Unaroma magnetico deliciosamente seductor conotas de toffee y madera.

[Tracy May]

Sambar forever wanted Elixir combina notas de.

[Takiya]

Cuero y frambuesas con elegancia entencidad es.

[Tracy May]

La confiance en botellada elije to favorito.

[Takiya]

Or regala telos dos descubre azaro y esta tempurada be wanted compraya.