Gettin' Grown – "It Feels Good To Talk About Our People"

Podcast: Gettin' Grown – Loud Speakers Network
Date: December 16, 2025
Hosts: Keia & Jade
Guest: Tracy May (of Depression Nest)

Episode Overview

This poignant and relatable episode is dedicated to discussing grief—especially as it shows up during the holidays. Jade and Keia welcome longtime friend and content creator Tracy May, the voice behind "Depression Nest," for candid, heartfelt, and at times hilarious conversation around navigating grief, honoring lost loved ones, and how to find space for both pain and joy at this time of year. The episode flows like a kitchen table talk among sisters and covers collective Black womanhood, memory-making, family traditions, and offering support for one another through difficult seasons.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Honoring Stevie Wonder and Opening Reflections

[02:11]

• The show opens with gratitude and reverence for Stevie Wonder’s music, symbolizing timeless wisdom and Black creativity.
  • “Praise the Lord, I mean, listen to the words in the song. You know what I'm saying? He'd be ahead of his time.” – Keia [02:42]

2. Year-End Fatigue & Holding It All Together

[03:02 – 04:44]

• The hosts share the realities of holiday exhaustion and feeling held together by "gel and eyelash glue," edge control, and "the grace of God."
• The episode leans into the collective fatigue and the need for rest, as both hosts and Tracy reflect on their full plates and the importance of taking a break.

3. Introducing Tracy May and Her Journey

[05:31 – 13:00]

• Tracy recounts being an OG YouTuber, starting with “Friday Wrap Up” rap videos, and hopping platforms for fun and connection rather than monetary gain.
• The group discusses the shift in online content from authentic, unfiltered story-sharing to highly curated, monetized formulas.
  • “That's why I can't be a millionaire on YouTube. Because as soon as I start making money, I would be like, I don't... Once it becomes a job, it's crazy.” – Tracy [12:36]

4. Storytelling, Authenticity, and the Power of Fun

[13:00 – 16:11]

• The trio celebrates the return to intentional, authentic storytelling over polished, algorithm-chasing creations.
• Tracy explains her channel “Depression Nest” mainly exists to keep herself accountable—for both her house and her healing.

5. Navigating Grief in the Holidays

[16:18 – 23:13]

• Tracy shares personal experiences losing her mother a week before Thanksgiving, explaining why the season can be “a little up, a little down,” and her discomfort joining others’ family celebrations.
  • “Fifteen years. All it takes is 15 years, guys.” – Tracy [20:28]
• The group reflects on the layer of grief that comes from changed family dynamics and how being around other families can amplify loss.
  • “You lose the person, but you also lose everything that was normal.” – Takiya [21:39]

6. Support That Helps vs. Support That Overwhelms

[23:13 – 26:31]

• Tracy notes that the most overwhelming thing is people avoiding the topic of her mother entirely, erasing her from conversation.
  • “Nobody's talking about it. Nobody even says my mama's name anymore. ...I definitely want to acknowledge that she existed.” – Tracy [23:13]
• Helpful support: friends with flexibility, patience, and space to talk or not talk as needed.

7. The Everyday Nature and Rituals of Grief

[26:47 – 32:20]

• Both hosts and Tracy discuss how rituals, even small ones like crosswords, card games, or gym time, keep them grounded and connected to their loved ones.
  • “It's the small things that we would do together during these moments. ...Those traditions are things that I've missed.” – Tracy [29:16]

8. How Grief Becomes Part of Identity

[34:07 – 39:01]

• Takiya opens up about grief becoming woven into her personality, not just a moment in time, and the need to accept this changed sense of self.
  • “Sometimes it feels like grief has become a part of my personality and I resist it.” – Takiya [35:27]

9. Permission to Grieve Indefinitely

[39:14 – 41:02]

• Tracy recounts seeing someone on TV cry decades after losing his dad and realizing, “This is forever. ...I became okay right in that moment. It's almost like that man gave me permission.”
  • “I realized early on...so this is forever. ...It's for everywhere, yeah.” – Tracy [39:22]

10. Creating Memories and the Importance of Photographs

[41:02 – 44:47]

• Tracy urges parents and loved ones: "Get in the pictures" – memories and images become precious when those we love are gone.
  • “I hate that I don't have more of her through the ...I know that time happened, but I don't have her in that time.” – Tracy [42:35]
• The group discusses curating intentional, memory-making moments, especially for only children.

11. Living Legacies: Ways to Remember and Honor

[44:47 – 56:38]

• They share stories of how everyday activities connect them to their loved ones—be it through cooking, music, or clothes.
• Tracy describes wearing her late mother’s vintage clothes and the bittersweet joy in that act.
  • “It turned out really cute. ...It was very interesting, like, putting on the clothes and seeing like, oh, this fits me perfectly.” – Tracy [55:21]

12. Anticipatory Grief & Focusing on the Present

[58:56 – 61:19]

• Keia discusses the anxiety about losing her last living grandparent, and Tracy gently reminds her (and listeners) that pre-grieving robs us of enjoying the time we have left.
  • “You can't mentally prepare now for what's going to happen then. ...Just enjoy the time that you have now.” – Tracy [59:40]

13. The Power of Story Collection & Intergenerational Conversation

[62:50 – 74:55]

• The women discuss the importance of asking elders about their lives—marriages, dreams, regrets, and perspectives—and capturing these stories for future generations.
• They contemplate what they would ask their mothers or grandmothers now as grown women, reflecting on life under different social circumstances.

14. Community, New Traditions, and the Challenge of Belonging

[77:43 – 82:34]

• Tracy shares her challenge in creating new holiday traditions post-loss, and feeling out of place at large family gatherings as an only child without parents.
• She expresses her wish to form a "only child dead parents club"—a gentle, tongue-in-cheek call for building chosen family/community.
  • “Go to places where you feel welcomed and included and you feel like you can have a good time.” – Tracy [82:34]

15. Honoring the Ancestors: What Would You Say?

[84:43 – 93:14]

• The hosts and Tracy share heartfelt messages they’d deliver to their lost loved ones—sometimes silly, sometimes tender—and affirm the importance of continuing to "talk about our people" to keep them alive in memory.
  • “It feels good to talk about our people, right? Yeah, it feels good to, you know, just talk about them out loud.” – Tracy [93:49]

16. Collecting & Sharing Stories as a Healing Practice

[94:00 – 96:00]

• Sharing the idea of gathering stories about a loved one from friends/family as a mosaic of remembrance.
• Reference to "Bourdain” (book of stories about Anthony Bourdain) as an example.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On the unending shape of grief:
  "Should I be over this? Maybe I was too attached to my mother… but like, I don’t know how people are just moving on like it was a fever dream..." – Tracy [40:00]

• On family invitations after loss:
  "No, girl, I don't want to go to your mimaw's house. God bless you. I love you so much." – Takiya [22:34]

• On support:
  “The helpful part for me is … people like Keia, when… we basically do a whole podcast in the voice notes." – Tracy [24:36]

• On the pressure for joy:
  “I can’t figure out how to, like, be joyful yet... but it takes time to sort of work through it.” – Takiya [38:39]

• On holidays as an only child after loss:
  "Christmas... is one of those holidays where the immediate family is really... an immediate family holiday." – Tracy [78:22]

• On traditions and memory:
  “I think you did create a tradition: actually saying you're going to create traditions every year!” – Kia [80:41]

• On community for grievers:
  "I really, really would like to start an only child dead parents club… we would form our own community.” – Tracy [81:22]

• On talking about those we miss:
  “We still talk about y'all like y'all still here, like y'all still alive. And I don't know that that's something that'll ever change, but we love y'all big, big…” – Takiya [90:42]

Important Timestamps

• [05:54] – Official start of "Kitchen Table" segment with guest intro
• [16:11] – Transition into deep holiday grief discussion
• [20:28] – Tracy’s reflections on family gatherings post-loss
• [23:13] – Naming helpful/unhelpful support
• [29:16] – Small rituals and why they matter
• [39:22] – Long-term grief: “This is forever.”
• [42:35] – Get in the photo! Legacy and memory-making
• [55:21] – Wearing clothes of a lost loved one
• [59:40] – The limits of anticipatory grieving
• [77:43] – Starting new traditions, and the reality of not doing so
• [82:34] – Tracy’s advice on community and belonging
• [84:53] – Honoring lost loved ones, what would you say to them?
• [93:49] – “It feels good to talk about our people.”

Tone & Approach

• Warm, unfiltered, “kitchen table” realness—equal parts sorrow, wisdom, and laughter
• Black women’s cultural frame: humor as survival, deep love of family across generations, respect for storytelling
• Invites listeners into a safe space for “both/and”—grief and joy, missing and remembering, struggling and coping

Final Takeaways

• Grief is not “one and done”; it becomes part of you, and that's okay.
• Support looks like presence, patience, and flexibility—not erasure or forced cheer.
• Holidays and loss are complicated; you’re not wrong for needing space, distraction—or to just skip the damn invitation.
• Collect stories, take pictures, and ask the deep questions while you can.
• Community can be built, even post-loss—from chosen family or folks walking a similar path.
• Keep talking about “our people.” Preserve their stories, laugh at their quirks, wear their clothes, and honor your own process.

Resources

• Tracy May / Depression Nest:
  • YouTube: Tracy May
  • TikTok: @youaregirltracymay
• Mental Health Resource:
  • If you’re struggling, call 988 for crisis support (U.S.)

For anyone grieving this holiday season or beyond, this episode is an honest, loving guide to doing it your way and keeping those you love close in the ways that matter most.