Gettin’ Grown — “It’s All Falling Apart”
Podcast: Gettin’ Grown (Loud Speakers Network)
Date: October 7, 2025
Hosts: Jade & Keia
Episode Theme: Navigating Heaviness, Finding Hope, and Holding Community When Life Feels Overwhelming
Overview
In this episode, Jade and Keia open up about feeling overwhelmed by the current state of the world and the weight of adulthood as 30-somethings. With honesty and humor, they share personal stories of exhaustion, the importance of holding on to hope, and practical ways to care for oneself and others during turbulent times. The Kitchen Table Talk centers on remaining grounded and staying connected, even when, as the episode title suggests, “it’s all falling apart.”
Key Discussion Points & Insights
1. Reminiscing on R&B, Black Names & Growing Up Black
[02:21 – 09:17]
- Jade and Keia start with lighthearted nostalgia, singing “Knockin' Da Boots” and reflecting on how, as kids, they sang grown songs like H-Town, Adina Howard, Lil’ Kim, Changing Faces, and Sparkle.
- “All of that whispering and foolishness. Had no business knowing that song in 1993. I was in the fifth grade.” — Jade [03:57]
- “Singing all the music that I had no business singing. …it made us who we are as a people.” — Jay [04:43]
- They joke about classic Black names (Larry, Earl, Rodney, Daquan) for both kids and pets, with much laughter about pets having middle names.
- “My next pet’s name is Methuselah. Earl Verrette.” — Jay [07:35]
2. Life Updates & Feeling Grateful Amidst Change
[09:19 – 11:45]
- Jade shares gratitude for being home after extensive work travel, highlighting the comfort of routine and personal space.
- “I’m just enjoying my mortgage and enjoying my space...things are as well as they are.” — Jade [09:34]
- Both hosts talk about aging and relating to things their grandmothers used to say, like being grateful things aren’t worse and navigating daily “ripping and running.”
- There’s an amusing conversation about health, aging, cholesterol, and realizing they’re not as young as they used to be.
3. Jay’s London Vacation — Blackness Abroad
[12:09 – 25:01]
- Jay recaps her London trip, focusing on:
- Visiting museums and reflecting on the presence of stolen artifacts:
“I wanted to review all the stolen artifacts before they are rightfully taken back… Looking at all of the stolen Egyptian artifacts.” — Jay [12:23] - Highlighting the Kerry James Marshall art exhibit as a major trip highlight [13:58]
- Enjoying diverse and “ethnically good” food, but lamenting British food’s lack of seasoning:
“Vinegar is not a seasoning.” — Jay [18:42] - Meeting up with friends in London and the warmth of Black community, no matter the location.
- An awkward encounter with an Englishman who enthusiastically recommends visiting the Mayflower, prompting a teachable moment:
“I said, my brother, listen here. We got a complicated relationship with ships like the Mayflower.” — Jay [21:33]
“He said that? Showing all of his teeth!” — Jade [23:04] - Childhood memories of refusing patriotic rituals in school, and family members who taught the real history about the “Pilgrims.”
“My Uncle G told me about the Pilgrims. Y’all not gonna believe this.” — Jade [26:24]
- Visiting museums and reflecting on the presence of stolen artifacts:
4. Kitchen Table Talk: The Heaviness of These Times & Self-Care
[32:25 – 71:13]
a) News Rundown: Global Crisis and Fatigue
[32:25 – 37:58]
- Jay recaps major world events with a focus on Gaza, Sudan, and Congo, emphasizing how interconnected economies and choices can be (e.g., how buying gold from UAE, who funds the RSF, facilitates atrocities in Sudan).
- “Trying to exist in this world is so difficult right now.” — Jay [49:34]
- Both express the powerlessness and overload of constant bad news.
b) Holding and Naming the Heaviness — It Ain’t Just You
[37:58 – 51:01]
- Jade and Keia candidly describe feeling emotionally, mentally, and physically drained by relentless crises, and coping with the expectation to “keep going” as if everything is normal.
- “It feels like the world is just acting like nothing is wrong.” — Jade [47:24]
- “Sometimes the best you can is the best you can.” — Jade [51:01]
- Emphasis on the importance of boundaries with news, social media, and emotional labor.
- Laughter lightens the mood, as Jay’s persistent cough interrupts the show—a running joke about how life won’t let you be great!
c) What Hope Really Means: Not Blind Optimism [51:01 – 67:00]
- Distinguishing hope from optimism:
“Optimism says, everything will be fine. Hope says, I don’t know how this will turn out, but whatever happens, I’m going to navigate whatever comes.” — Jade [52:16] - Hope is a durable practice rooted in trusting you can cope, not denying reality.
- Building hope through:
- Community (brainstorming/support meetings with friends)
- Small, grounding actions: cleaning, watering plants, showering, reading for pleasure, connecting with family
- Setting limits on when and how to access news
- Playlists and music as affirmations and mood lifters
d) Faith, Fear, and Grace for Yourself [56:44 – 61:16]
- Jade reflects on reframing religious teachings about “fear not”—it’s not about shame, but about being reminded that fear is human and you are equipped to navigate it with faith.
- “To fear is human. Your fear is how your body is signaling to you that, you know, there’s uncertainty.” — Jade [57:40]
e) The Power of Small Actions & Community [61:16 – 69:16]
- Little things anchor you in chaos—making your bed, singing, calling a loved one, being present at the gym, chatting with a neighbor.
- Community, even in passing, matters deeply for Black women who often face isolation and pressure to “have it all together.”
- The importance of self-agency and controlling the “controllables.”
- “Inside of this house, there are things I can do to make myself feel centered and to remind myself that I am okay.” — Jade [60:33]
f) Permission to Not Be Okay [67:00 – End]
- Emphasizing that hope isn’t about being naively positive all the time—some days will simply be hard, and that’s okay.
- Inviting listeners to share what grounds them, and reminding them:
“You’re not alone. You matter. And that’s not just enough. That’s everything.” — Jade [69:01]
Notable Quotes & Moments
- “We have to go back to the sturdy Black names of old. We have gotten away from that.” — Jade [06:54]
- “I just want to push us in the direction of, you know, just acknowledging that it’s okay not to be okay right now.” — Jade [51:02]
- “Hope says, I don’t know how this will turn out, but I’m going to navigate whatever comes.” — Jade [52:16]
- “Hope is a practice. It’s not a feeling. It’s a choice.” — Jade [67:00]
- “Inside of this house, there are things I can do to make myself feel centered and to remind myself that I am okay.” — Jade [60:33]
- “You don’t have to have hope every single day either. …Some days are just gonna be hard, and those days are hard. And that’s it. Full stop.” — Jade [68:38]
Timestamps for Key Segments
- [02:21] – R&B nostalgia & “grown” music memories
- [06:06] – Jokes about classic Black names & Black dog names
- [09:19] – Life update: being home and the comfort of routine
- [12:09] – Jay’s trip to London (art, food, “the Mayflower” encounter)
- [32:25] – News overview: Gaza, Sudan, Congo
- [37:58] – Recognizing collective heaviness
- [40:56] – Personal experiences of exhaustion and lack of control
- [47:24] – Processing the disconnect between global chaos and daily life
- [51:01] – Clarifying hope vs. optimism
- [56:44] – Reframing faith and fear
- [61:16] – Practical, grounding self-care tactics
- [67:00] – Hope is a practice, not a feeling
- [68:39] – Permission to have bad days & encouragement for listeners
Episode Tone
- Supportive, honest, fun, sometimes silly, always caring.
- Jade and Keia embody Black woman self-care with a mix of humor, transparency about their struggles, and practical, no-nonsense advice.
In Summary
“It’s All Falling Apart” is both a hug and a mirror for listeners. Jade and Keia validate the exhaustion of living in chaotic times without pretending to have it all figured out. Their message: Take care of yourself, ground in community, accept your feelings, and know that hope is less about outcomes and more about persistence and connection—especially when everything feels like it’s falling apart.