Kegel Break (feat: Dr. Wendy Goodall McDonald)

Summary

Gettin' Grown: "Kegel Break" (feat. Dr. Wendy Goodall McDonald)

Podcast: Gettin' Grown
Hosts: Jade & Kia
Guest: Dr. Wendy Goodall McDonald (OB-GYN)
Date: March 18, 2025
Network: Loud Speakers Network

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jade and Kia welcome back Dr. Wendy Goodall McDonald ("Dr. Every Woman") to the Kitchen Table for Women's History Month, making her a regular in their ongoing series of candid, insightful discussions on Black women's health and wellness. The conversation centers around the evolving realities of Black women’s bodies—embracing aging, sex, pelvic health, hormone shifts, self-advocacy in a fraught medical/political climate, and the importance of reliable, community-sourced health information.

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Main Themes

• Honoring Black Cultural Icons: The episode opens with tributes to the recently passed Roy Ayers and Dwayne Wiggins, highlighting the importance of giving people their flowers while alive.
• Navigating Uncertain Times: Both hosts reflect on work, grief, and self-care, set against ongoing societal upheaval, emphasizing resilience and community care.
• Sexual Health and Aging: A deep dive into how sex, intimacy, and vaginal health change with age, unpacking taboos, myths, and the patriarchal baggage attached to women's bodies.
• Fighting Misinformation: Dr. Wendy addresses the proliferation of health misinformation on social media, especially around women’s health, and the dangers of AI-generated disinformation.
• Self-Advocacy and Permission: Empowering women to voice their needs and challenges around sex, health, and life transitions without shame or guilt.
• Pelvic Floor 101: Practical guidance on Kegels, incontinence, and the true role of pelvic floor health (spoiler: it's not just about "tightness").
• Black Community, Womanhood, and Intersectionality: The conversation is inclusive, explicitly supporting trans women and challenging exclusionary attitudes in health spaces.
• Practical Health Tips: Honest, down-to-earth advice on diet, exercise, post-baby changes, hormone fluctuations, and navigating limited healthcare access.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Tributes & Life's Fragility (03:11-06:10)

• Jade and Kia pay homage to Roy Ayers and Dwayne Wiggins, reflecting on music’s impact and the importance of not letting too much time pass before reaching out to loved ones.
• Memorable quote:

  “Don’t let too much time pass. Do what you got to do. Make the phone calls. Do the things. Get your lives in order. The Lord is coming true.” — Jade (05:00)

2. Intersection of Faith, Spirituality & Community (06:10-09:29)

• The hosts riff on biblical stories, church culture, and spirituality’s intersection with African traditions, highlighting the richness and diversity of contemporary Black womanhood.
• Memorable quote:

  “Community and womanhood includes all women. Our trans sisters... we want to make sure it is clear this conversation is not exclusionary.” — Jade (18:34)

3. Life Updates: Grief, Self-Care & Finding Balance (10:44-14:20)

• Kia shares about her emotional challenges at SXSW EDU in Austin and how she’s prioritizing intentional self-care.
• Jade discusses embracing a “pivot,” focusing on both community and herself, and starting her own fitness journey after a long hiatus.

4. Context: The Medical & Political Climate (16:24-18:35)

• The threat to Medicaid, reproductive rights, and general healthcare access is foregrounded as a reality Black women must navigate.
• Dr. Wendy:

  “We are under attack. This ain’t new... But above all, we can’t let them take us down... We’ve been rising up since forever.” (35:53)

5. Kitchen Table Talk with Dr. Wendy (24:40–86:58)

a. Misinformation in Women's Health (28:27–34:50)

• Dr. Wendy skewers social media myths—including AI-generated “coochie doctors”—and reminds listeners that knowledge ≠ information; discernment is power.
• Kia:

  “We are never lacking for information, but we lack knowledge. Knowledge is generated in conversations just like this.” (34:13)

b. Sexual Changes with Age (39:34–52:18)

• Baselines Matter: Dr. Wendy underscores that diet, exercise, and overall wellness are foundational for sexual health—not to eliminate all issues, but to maximize resilience.
• Normalizing Decline in Libido: Changes in desire as you age or after children are common; it's multi-factorial (life, mental health, physical changes).
• No Shame in Lube:

  “We’re not ashamed about lotion on our elbows—why are we about lube?” — Dr. Wendy (50:10)

• Vaginal Dryness: Lube, hyaluronic acid moisturizers, and, in some cases, local vaginal estrogen (not systemic HRT) are valid interventions.
• Postpartum & Breastfeeding: Temporary dryness is normal due to hormone shifts; it often resolves but can be supported with moisturizers or estrogen if necessary.

c. Pelvic Floor, Kegels & Incontinence (61:05–68:47)

• Kegels = Strength, Not “Tightness”:

  “I'm more concerned about strength for keeping you from peeing on yourself... than keeping it, quote, unquote, tight.” — Dr. Wendy (61:19)

• Incontinence: It’s not “normal” but it is common, especially post-baby or with age—pelvic floor PT is valuable.
• Kegel Protocol: Two sets of 10 daily; squeeze and hold, don’t overdo it. Mistakes can create problems.
• Fun moment:

  “I'm doing my Kegels right now. Thank you.” — Jade (64:14)

d. Listener Q&A Highlights

• Itchy Clitoris/White Film: Could be normal (“smegma”) or infection; see a provider if itchy/painful. (72:53)
• PMDD (Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder): Real, can be life-altering; managed by diet, exercise, or, if needed, hormonal contraception. (75:34)
• Pregnancy After 35: Not as frightening as often portrayed. Risks rise, but modern care is very effective; freezing eggs is worth discussing if delaying. (76:57)
• Probiotics: Not all are created equal; most valuable in those with recurring BV or yeast.
• Folic Acid: Not everyone needs it unless actively trying to conceive, but it’s safe if you are of childbearing age. (84:18)
• Perimenopause "Amnesia" (brain fog): It’s a real thing and common.

e. Dr. Wendy’s New Ventures (69:30–72:00)

• Launching a women’s boxer brief line ("Every Bottoms"), a vulva moisturizer, and a mirror designed for vulva self-exam—all about empowering women’s comfort and body literacy.

6. Inclusion & Representation (18:34+)

• Deliberate inclusion of all women (cis and trans) in the health conversation; plans to broaden future episodes with other experts.

7. Ongoing Self-Care & Closing Thoughts (92:21+)

• Both hosts stress the power of finding comfort in tradition (Jade with her new exercise/meditation routine, Kia in singing gospel with her choir).
• Petty Peeves: Jade rants about NYC parking etiquette and, tongue firmly in cheek, denounces RFK Jr. and his “hatred made manifest in his vocal cords.”
• Kia expresses her feelings on the removal of the Black Lives Matter mural in D.C.:

  “We never asked for a mural. We asked for change in policy.”

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• On discernment:

  “Discernment is power because at this point, there’s too much knowledge for certain people.” — Jade (34:00)

• On permission to change:

  “Give yourself permission to be in this era of your life.” — Dr. Wendy (54:00)

• On sex and patriarchy:

  “I’m not responsible for my vagina’s size... that’s a patriarchal thought.” — Jade & Dr. Wendy (61:39)

• On representing all women:

  “Community and womanhood includes all women—our trans sisters...” — Jade (18:34)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• Honoring Roy Ayers & Dwayne Wiggins: 03:11–06:10
• Faith, Spirituality, Community: 06:10–09:29
• Life Updates & Self-Care: 10:44–14:20
• Women’s Health in the Political Climate: 16:24–18:35
• Welcome Dr. Wendy / Misinformation: 24:40–34:50
• Sexual Changes & Lubrication: 39:34–52:18
• Pelvic Floor & Incontinence: 61:05–68:47
• Dr. Wendy’s New Products: 69:30–72:00
• Listener Q&A (ex: Probiotics, PMDD): 75:34–85:54
• Self-Care Segment: 92:21–99:56
• Petty Peeves & Political Hot Takes: 105:13–113:30

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Tone & Style

• Conversational, humorous, and deeply empathetic.
• Language is direct, playful (“coochie doc”, “loose not tight!”), but always respectful.
• Radically inclusive about Black womanhood and body positivity; the hosts intentionally make space for diversity.
• Dr. Wendy is authoritative but relatable, busting myths with kindness and a dose of “jokey joke.”

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Summary Takeaway

This episode is an essential listen for any person—especially Black women—navigating the complex realities of adulting, wellness, and body transitions in today’s chaotic world. Jade and Kia, with Dr. Wendy’s expertise, tackle the most intimate health questions with honesty, humor, and compassion, offering both practical advice and a powerful reminder:
Self-love, discernment, and community are radical—and necessary—forms of healthcare. And Kegel breaks are for everybody!

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Resources Mentioned

• Dr. Wendy’s “Every Bottoms,” vulva moisturizer, and EVERY MIRROR: everybodybrand.com
• Bonafide Hyaluronic Acid Moisturizer: “Reverie” by Bonafide (check website for details)
• Nourish.com: Directory for dietitians who take insurance
• Probiotic Recommendation: "Clairvee" by Bonafide (for recurrent BV/yeast)

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How to Stay Connected

• Jade & Kia’s Patreon: For ad-free/full video episodes and exclusive content
• Dr. Wendy Goodall McDonald: Find her on Instagram (@dr.everywoman), and at everybodybrand.com
• Links for news, activism (Congo, Sudan, Gaza): Check episode show notes

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“Keep your mind moisturized and supple... and do your Kegels!”

Transcript

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[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Together we got this.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Kia]

One step to learn more.

[Commercial Announcer]

Use as directed.

[Jade]

I don't wish you no bad luck baby don't wish you no strain I only wanted to expose your life to the finer thanks I offer you my company girl you don't need no sympathy you just need someone who cares Whatever you want girl you know I can provide whatever you need. 6, 32, 20, 35. Those numbers. I tell you those numbers. Oh praise the Lord.

[Kia]

Praise the Lord.

[Jade]

You know.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

This week first of all, first and fore. Oh let me just do. Hold on one, one quick second. Real quick. Searching, searching, searching. So we have to do it's two intro snippets because we must honor the lives of two big giant music contributors. First and foremost, my grand uncle. That's what I call him. This man has been a part of my life since I since I've had memory and I specifically and I have spoken to you all about this talk time and time again. Had a playlist that I used to play for Noah on the way to Pre K. That was our playlist that we would play called Everybody loves the Sunshine playlist and we like we would let we live in Brooklyn, baby. Like I just. There's so many. There's so many that we have to honor the life of Roy Ayers.

[Kia]

Have to.

[Jade]

Oh my God, what a loss. What A big, giant loss to us. I was so sad, so unbelievably sad. I've. I had the honor of seeing Roy Ayers perform at summer stage. Like, I don't know. I clearly, before the Pandemics, I was about to lie and be like. Like two years ago. No, it wasn't. I just lost five years of my life.

[Kia]

Oh, my God.

[Jade]

As we all did. But had the. Had the beautiful honor of being able to see him perform live. And I'm just so grateful for that opportunity. So we want to honor the life of Roy A. As well as Dwayne Wiggins of Tony Tony Tony. That was his particular verse that I was up at the top of this episode. I went on a Tony, Tony, Tony lesson with Noah this morning.

[Kia]

Yeah. I did a deep dive this weekend as well.

[Jade]

Yeah, we are not even going to talk about that seventeen song. Not. Not right now, but we will talk about it eventually. Yeah, you are gross. But by and large.

[Kia]

By and large. Yeah.

[Jade]

Yeah. But we do want to honor the life. Tony. That was a terrible. That was terrible. Well, Dwayne, if you're listening to this, we are honoring your life. You are a great contributor.

[Kia]

And we also.

[Jade]

Terrible song. Horrible song. Can't wait to meet you so that we can discuss it. And I mean that with all the love. I really do.

[Kia]

Like, respectfully.

[Jade]

Respectfully, my.

[Kia]

Like, are y'.

[Jade]

All. But you know what? In the meantime, I'm a hunt. I'm a fine Raphael, and he's gonna answer it for me until, you know, somebody got it.

[Kia]

So somebody got some explaining to do.

[Jade]

Somebody's got to answer the questions. Okay? So. But we do want to honor the life of Dwayne Wiggins, who was the founding member of Tony Tony. Tony, actually. And, you know, that's. It's just. Those are two sad losses. He died 64 years old. Remember we talked about Angie Stone last week? She passed 63. So, you know, we just, you know, don't let too much time pass. Do what you got to do. Make the phone calls. Do the things. Get your lives in order. The Lord is coming true. You okay? And you know what? If you're out here beefing with. Let me tell you something. Psalms. Yes. I'm about to preach.

[Kia]

Make it right.

[Jade]

Psalm said, come on here. Psalms say, it's all good. You know what I'm saying?

[Kia]

When you.

[Jade]

When you live in a unified manner. You know what I'm saying? When you live in. In togetherness, truly is. Things are good. You know what I mean? So I just want y' all to keep that in mind, please don't forget to continue to check the links for all the things that are happening around the world. My heavens.

[Kia]

My heavens.

[Jade]

You know, live. Live in unified goodness according to Psalms. I want to say it's a 150 something. So. So H, we got to do a.

[Kia]

Bible study with Jade and Dustin. I' MA sit in. I'mma sit in and just be here.

[Jade]

For something tells me that Dustin and I can. Dr. Seuss the Bible for you. Make it layman's, you know, make it palatable. I feel like we could do this. Dustin, what say you?

[Kia]

You know, so Justin always said to be little videos of, like, church stuff. Like, there was a word association game that this church was playing and just sort of like saying names. And then the first worship song or gospel song that came to mind, Dustin said it to me, like, I feel like I can work this personally. I think I got enough knowledge to really get in here and do what I got to do. And I was like, you know what?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I believe you. I. I think you could do well.

[Jade]

I know some things. You know what I'm saying? I know some things. I'd like to clarify some things. Merrick. Magdalene was not a whore.

[Kia]

No, truly.

[Jade]

She was a woman who enjoyed herself. And. And, you know, she fooled with Jesus.

[Kia]

And Jesus fooled with her in terms of, like, when it came down to it, you know what I'm saying? That's another conversation for another day.

[Jade]

You niggas who are always out here, like, why are you friends with her? Because I don't understand. Because Jesus was.

[Kia]

Listen, I was watching this today. I was talking a friend because I found this guy. I mean, I know who he was for a long time, but there's a. A pastor who's. I just feel like he teaches the Bible in a very masterful and relevant way. I was telling Fran about it, and I was listening to his sermon from yesterday, and I didn't finish it yet, but he was. He was using this, the part of the scripture where the Pharisees was coming for Jesus because he had dinner with the tax collectors. And they was like, why are you hanging out with them? And he. Jesus was like, excuse me, let me help you, because I'm not here for the righteous. Hello? Yeah, I'm not here. I'm not. Not here to spend all of my time.

[Jade]

What, I look like preaching to the choir?

[Kia]

Exactly. I don't need to spend all my time with you. I need to be over here. And thank you for minding my. Minding your business. And respecting my privacy during this time. Get away from here.

[Jade]

But, you know, we'll talk about Jesus, originator of don't bring sand to the beach. Nigga, these niggas already know. I gotta talk.

[Kia]

Get out of here. Why you over here in my business? Okay, you need to be over in yours. But yeah, yeah, yeah, I'm with it.

[Jade]

I'm with it. I was actually talking to. I think I've mentioned. I've mentioned juju before on the show. You know, juju is really good about teaching the girls the. The foundation and the basis of African spirituality. So I think there's a beautiful intersection to the black church and spirituality and African spirituality. And I think that's a good conversation for us to bring to the table because there's a lot of, you know, people think, you know, if you are involved in African spirituality, you are opposed to the Bible, and that's not necessarily the case. So I think it would be a lovely conversation for us to have. I think it. Yeah, I think it would be a nice conversation for us to have. But like I said, make sure you all are checking out. Did I ask you how your week was?

[Kia]

Not yet, but finish your thought. Make sure that.

[Jade]

Make sure you all are checking out all the links in the description box. Make sure you all are checking out the Patreon where you get the ad. Free video versions of full video versions of this podcast as well as additional content. He has been doing her big ones. Okay. So trying to be, you know, I.

[Kia]

Got shout out to our patrons. Okay, we have a good time down to the card table over on Patreon. So you are not yet a part of our digital community. This is where we really shoot the. And talk. Talk about the things.

[Jade]

Yeah, the real things.

[Kia]

So, yeah, you know, come hang out with us over there. We.

[Jade]

We be up to some things.

[Kia]

Okay, we got some things.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

For you.

[Jade]

Yes, we do have things coming up for you, including another live. I know we did one around the election, but we.

[Kia]

We're.

[Jade]

We're getting ready to get more regular. So we got a live coming up. We're celebrating eight years.

[Kia]

Wow.

[Jade]

I want to say next week or in two weeks, so.

[Kia]

Two weeks, I think, but wild and crazy.

[Jade]

Wild, crazy time, right? Wild and crazy times. So join us for a get and grow anniversary live date coming soon. Check out the Patreon. All the links attached. How was your week, sis? Sis?

[Kia]

You know, I. I had a full week. I had some. I was at south by Southwest Edu. I think I mentioned that last week. I was on My way there, or I was at. I was at the conference right before it started, and it was a full week, a successful time. It was my first time going to south by Southwest, so it was a cool experience, which I didn't realize how huge a conference or an event south by Southwest is. And I was just at the EDU side, but I got some footage, some things we'll upload to Patreon, and I'll do, like, a little debrief, you know, letting you guys know sort of what I was working on when I was there. But, you know, it was a heavy week emotionally, just being really candid. You know, the city of Austin, Texas, triggers my grief in a very real way. And that's just the fact. I think for a long time, I've been trying to work through that or move through that, but I don't know if there will ever be a time where it doesn't. And so it's just like, you know, being present in that. And I'm trying to be intentional. You know, after you have a heavy week, it's good to be intentional about doing things that fill your cup back up and, you know, help you reconnect to yourself a little bit. And so I'm sort of focused and in that space right now, still working through and processing a lot of feelings. I had therapy yesterday. I feel like I am doing okay, just sort of managing a lot mentally and emotionally. And that's cool, because sometimes we. We have to do that. But all in all, I'm grateful. I'm safe. I have what I need. Grateful for. Safe travels. I'm on my. I'm on the road again next week.

[Jade]

On the road again?

[Kia]

Yeah, so. But. But, you know, work travel is. Is picking back up. We're all negotiating uncertain times as it relates to, you know, all things.

[Jade]

Everything.

[Kia]

Yeah, all things. But, yes, all things education. And so, you know, we're taking it day by day, and we are doing all we can with what we have and trusting God for the rest, baby. And that's all I got. Okay. Yeah. How are you going on with you?

[Jade]

Same. I am safe, and I have what I need, period. We. We've been through this before, so we gonna be all right? Yeah, I am okay, actually. You know, for the first time in a very long time.

[Kia]

Yeah, I love that.

[Jade]

I am really feeling a big shift. You know, I've been talking to you for the longest about exercise, and I actually started, which was nice. So hard. Yeah, so hard. But I'm getting into, you know, I'll get more into it in the self care, but like, yeah, I'm gonna get into it in the self care, but yeah, it's been a lot of that. But I'm all right because I'm, I'm, I'm pivoting my focus on not just community, as I keep talking about every week, but on myself and, you know, just trying to be as healthy as I can be in every way that I can, so for sure I can show up in a productive way. And so, you know, just trying to figure out how to shift that and, you know, making different changes and implementing different things like I said, that I will speak about, but I'm, I'm feeling good. I'm feeling a good shift even in the course of pure, unprecedented, ominous hell.

[Kia]

Like, actually.

[Jade]

JADE LAUGHS EVILLY so, yeah, that's where I'm at right now. It's like I can't, I don't think I can afford to be too sad and too scared right now because I'll fall into a pit. So, yeah, I'm, I'm doing all right. And like I told you all before, I still, again, even with the pivot of, of how news is delivered here, you know, some, some weeks it will be more apparent and some weeks not so much. I realized that I slacked because I was putting the links in the wrong note.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Sorry.

[Jade]

XD so I do have links for you all. Check those links.

[Kia]

They will be in the description, in.

[Jade]

The description, they will be in the show notes and they will, they are important. They are also attached to the link tree and, and so forth and so on. All of the ways that you can keep up with what's going on in the Congo, Sudan and Gaza, what's going on with the news, how we can contribute, etc, so please always keep that at the forefront and what's going on in our own world as well, because that is just quickly crumbling on a daily basis. I want to send big, giant love to everybody who is contending with whether or not they're gonna have a job tomorrow or benefits or whatever the case is. And when I say I'm praying for, I, that is all of us, because no, true, this industry as well is one of the very first to go when the economy starts to go. So, you know, I'm just sending resilient energy out there for us and I'm sending community energy out there for us. And, and you know, we, we're gonna, we're gonna, we're gonna rock our way through this, but we're gonna do it. So absolutely, that's how I am. And with that being said, you know, we have more important conversations to have. Three Pete at the kitchen table this week. Dr. Wendy McDonald Goodall is back. Dr. Every woman to talk to us about more things going on with our bodies. Yeah. And our minds and our spirits and how all of those things are also connected.

[Kia]

For sure.

[Jade]

And we're just going to say up front, we didn't get to all your questions, so Dr. Wendy's not come back.

[Kia]

There were so many good five and six.

[Jade]

There were so many amazing questions.

[Kia]

I think that just speaks to that. How. How little. Like, we're all negotiating a lot of change as it relates not only to the world around us, but the things that are happening within our bodies and within our lives. And so when we put out the call for folks to ask someone as. As brilliant and insightful and relatable as Dr. Wendy, you know, you know, we just were flooded with all kinds of awesome, amazing questions for. And they're pertinent to everyone who has a vagina or who is in close proximity to a vagina, who is interested in understanding its utility, health and function and wellness. So, yeah, stay tuned. We're gonna have an awesome conversation which will continue on because like we said, we only scratched the surface. And all the girls. I'm gonna say this as a disclaimer as well. Sis. We got all of the perimenopause questions.

[Jade]

Oh, honey. Clearly a flooding.

[Kia]

Listen, perimenopause is beating all of our asses all at the same time.

[Jade]

Yeah, it is.

[Kia]

We are going to deal with that. We might have a more pointed and direct conversation about Perry and her hands. We'll have Dr. Wendy come back to talk about that. So if we don't get to your perimenopause questions in this conversation, more to come. Just wanted to put that out there.

[Jade]

Yes, yes, yes. And also, please go back and listen to part one and two with Dr. Wendy because there may be questions that we did touch on. And while we may need to dig deeper into it, just go back and give them some good listens because we did cover some of the things. The last disclaimer that I want to put. I appreciate you saying that the conversation is for people with vaginas or in close proximity to. Because we want to make sure you all know here at Getting Grown, we preach community. Community and womanhood includes all women. Our trans sisters.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

And, And. And so forth. And so we want to make sure that it is clear that this conversation is not exclusionary. You know, we're Just we're talking about our body parts. So I'm glad that you said people with vaginas because that's, that's what it's for. And I do think it important, especially as we are negotiating changes within our political climate which does affect our medical and our bodies. I do think that we should bring another doctor and who may be able to touch on. Yeah, you know, more of our community and some of the things that we need to pay attention to and look forward to. So we'll do our research and, and look for a resource in that. But in the meantime, in between time, please check, check in with our resident obgyn here, growing at this point at the kitchen table. We'll see you all in a second. Get more than you expect with the five dollar meal deal.

[Kia]

Part of new MC value 5 gets.

[Jade]

You a McDouble or McChicken and a small fry and a small drink and a four piece McNuggets new McValue.

[Kia]

At McDonald's.

[Jade]

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[Kia]

Welcome back everyone to the kitchen table. And we're just going to get right to the mess because I think we have at this point we can just call her, you know, a regular. We could just, we can just extend and make this a formal part. She's a regular to the bid whist table. She's one of our good card playing at the kitchen table.

[Jade]

A Chicago stepper and her living pepper stepper.

[Kia]

We are back celebrating women's history month and you know this is black history year. All things black women everyone welcome the brilliant, the beautiful, the amazing doctor, every woman Dr. Mindy McDonald to you all know. She is a board certified obstetrician, gynecologist. She's an author, she's a speaker. She's based in our favorite south side of Chicago. She is the founder and editor in chief of the Gyneco Bean Logic and anti Google blog that's dedicated to women's health. We love her so dearly and I will not bore you with the details that we've read on the show all the other times she's been here. So.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Hey doctor, welcome back girl. Hey y'. All. Thank you for having me. I really appreciate it. Like I was saying before we started recording, y' all are my people, the audience of my people. I'm honored to be a part you all are or who I you are are me. We are each other. And so I'm honored to be able to to share.

[Jade]

Yes, you Dr. Wendy. I just, you're probably one of the most relatable doctors we've come across and I mean and you know, thank you for social media. You know, that's how we've all been able to be introduced to one another. But the way you are able to deliver information and also, if I may, you have such an elegant way of telling people how absolutely stupid they are.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Shenanigans.

[Jade]

You will shenan again in another post, but you always do it in a way that's like, you have been grossly misinformed. And I'm going to tell you in the best way possible how. And so, you know, we're really grateful for the way that you come through with information that's necessary for the community.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I'm grateful. I mean, honestly. And. And it's funny because I think that so in being in the space of healthcare, you know, you talk to a lot of doctors and providers and, you know, it's like, my mom was a doctor, my, you know, my great grandfather was a doctor. And I'm like, I was the first. So I grew up in the same household. Is everybody else probably listening to this and that. And that doesn't speak negatively about that household, but more so I feel like I know what I knew. I know what I know now. And I like to be able to draw that connection. It's almost like a game to me. Like, how can I bring us together from where we started to where we are? And then how can I throw a little jokey joke up in that bad boy?

[Jade]

Yes. Just to bring it home so that it's related.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So cringy. And nobody wants to talk about it. It's like, no, let's make it fun, you know?

[Kia]

Yeah. And it's so important.

[Jade]

No, you're absolutely right.

[Kia]

So necessary. Especially given sort of. We live in such an age where misinformation thrives. Right.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And there's so much that is harder than anything, which.

[Kia]

Exactly.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Gives me great material.

[Kia]

Exactly, exactly. But there's so much that we. So little that we don't. That we understand. And like you said, these topics are cringy and it's just so easy to avoid it, ignore it, act like you don't need to know. But I love how you always break through the noise, like, excuse me. Tap, tap, tap. Excuse. Excuse me, pay attention here. This is.

[Jade]

What did you do the other day? You did. You were. You were battling misinformation about the color of menstrual blood, which even I was like, I'm not a doctor, but I feel like the browner it is, it just means it's old. Right.

[Kia]

Like, quite sure.

[Jade]

But I've always been.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Quite sure. Hormone.

[Jade]

But you did it in the voice of Charlene.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yes, Charlene, Yes.

[Jade]

And that was just. I said, this is amazing.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Not reading pads like they tarot cards. That had me cracking up. And usually when I do something and I'm chuckling, I'm like, oh, this gonna be good.

[Kia]

It's gonna hit. It's go ahead. Because it makes it that much relatable. Because how many of us have aunties and grandmas like Charlene that have just been passing down misinformation? Yes, and yes. That's how, you know, those sort of things sort of perpetuate, especially in our community. And I love that I can take that and show that to the Charlene's in my life. Like, sit down and watch this. Thank you.

[Jade]

Yeah. Baby powder in your drawers. That part.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I even tackled that one.

[Jade]

Don't do that.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

That needs to be on the docket for sure.

[Jade]

Okay, There you go. I will. If you want to collabo, I'll come in with you. You know what I'm saying? I'll come in with you.

[Kia]

And one of my favorite more recent posts that you did was sort of highlighting how there are people who are leveraging AI to spread misinformation. Those AI AI doctors. Because if you're not paying attention, it can look like a lot of the things that are already in our TikTok and Instagram feeds. And so if you're not really watching, you could take that for, you know.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Because some of them got me. I'll be like, really? And I'm like, wait, this one though. Exactly. It's like, okay, wait a second. I'm like, have I ever. When have I ever said I'm a coochie doc? I don't think that's what we call ourselves.

[Kia]

That lady got up and talking about.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I am a coochie doctor.

[Kia]

And it's like.

[Jade]

Is that the same lady who says she's a lot of other doctor kind of doctors as well?

[Kia]

It's the same AI.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Woman that was an Asian woman. I've seen a white woman. They all AI. It's crazy.

[Jade]

Oh, they're not even real.

[Kia]

No, they're generated person.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You watch them talk how their words like their ma. If you watch the mouth and then if you go to the page, you see all these other ones. This is all like creating news, fake news. These are people that aren't people.

[Jade]

This is a frightening time.

[Kia]

Very much.

[Jade]

And like. And I. I just got a glimpse of in my future. You know, my grandmother got scammed recently by somebody pretending to be Amazon. And I saw, I, I thought we had an arrow on in Brooklyn. That's a very long story that I won't do right now. But it's because I was duped and I got scammed by an AI picture. And now you all are telling me that this video I watched was not a real human. I knew it was not correct information, but I also was like, I did not know it was not a real human.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It was. And then when you're like, okay, so either somebody programmed it to say this, or like they were like, make a video that, that people will believe. And it's like, but you think this what we believe? Like, do you really think this little of us?

[Kia]

Exactly.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

The gynecologist in the room would be like, I have been a coochie doctor for 15 years.

[Jade]

What is the reason though? What is the reason? Because I understand posturing. Not understanding where I will do it, but I understand posturing for certain people where they, they have an inflated sense of ego and, and they just need to feel this way. But what is the point of getting up here with a whole fake human just to spread things that they know?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So I know the reason. And I actually, because I asked myself this question every day, like, what is the reason? What is the reason for life? And I said, why do these, these pages exist? But if you watch them, if you actually watch them, they'll be like, you know, send DM me or put something in the comments and I'll DM you the recipe. Go to my Amazon and get this supplement. They're selling things. These, all these are selling something. So that's what it is. They're trying to get you to buy. They tell you like two or three things that are believable. Ish. And then the fourth thing is, get this particular supplement from this particular brand, go to my Amazon and buy it. So they are baiting you to believe. And then you, because you trust what they're saying, because it sounds believable enough come by.

[Kia]

Also, the more the evil people are paying attention, right? And so I think if we think about all of the other contextual factors and like, you know, the flood the zone strategy that, you know, the government and others are leveraging to constantly keep us in this space of confusion, I think the more the, the wicked people who are also, they leverage that confusion and think, oh, I can sell something. Let's pray for on people who are already scared to death and make them feel like they need what I'm selling in order to survive this very volatile climate in time and so that whole knowledge is power thing is not just something that was a catchphrase in the 80s, but more and more now than ever, it's important for us to be able to really be able to distinguish fact from fiction. And, you know, I feel like if my grandfather was here, you know, the Bible talks about rightly dividing the word of truth, like discern. Okay, Discernment, rightly divide. You have to discern, and that requires.

[Jade]

You to have that. So that's what I wanted to say. I was like, can we just. Can we alter that a little bit? To discernment is power because at this point, there's too much knowledge for certain people. And. And we need to learn how to sift.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yes.

[Kia]

You know what I'm saying? And. And Brittany Cooper. I keep saying it week after week, but just something that I'm keeping at the forefront of my mind, like, we are never lacking for information, but we lack knowledge. And knowledge and information are not something that we can conflate. Knowledge is generated in conversations just like this, where we can take information and vet it through the expertise of people like Dr. Wendy to help us discern and figure out of all the information that we're flooded with, how do we make sure that we can discern the truth amongst all the other stuff that's out there in the.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

In the world?

[Jade]

Points were made. Points were very well in that. With that being said, we have much knowledge and discernment to sift through with. Dr. Wendy, I trust everything you. I trust what you say. So my discernment is here on the table. It's on my. I. I think we should start with this climate because the last time you were here, it was building, you know, it was. You know, it's been building for a while, but, you know, so many swift, nasty changes have happened since you've sat at the kitchen table with us and, you know, we. And all of our body parts. I'm not even going to just say vaginas, because obviously we know our trans sisters are also affected by this and so forth. So all of. All of our personhoods, for sure. So I just want to Hear your thoughts, Dr. Wendy, like @ this point with the field that you're in, before we get into some really good questions. Yeah, talk to us. Tell us what we need to know. Tell us what you're thinking.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You know, we're under attack. We know that. We've been there, though. This ain't new. We are. This is not new. You know, it's just on the public display right now. And so where I like to live and focus is in that space of not only discernment and trying to, you know, investigate anything I hear. And so I appreciate your trust in me in what I say, but I'm very careful about what I say for that reason. Right. Because it matters. Have integrity. That. What I'm saying is, is supported by the reasonable amount of evidence that I have at the time that I said whatever I said. Right. And so. So when you hear things from people, whether that's, you know, from the government or either from friends and family, it's like, where. Where is that vetted? Where are they getting that information? Because no longer can we just rest on. My cousin said, like, we can't. Yeah, can't rest on that. You know, or my friend told me we have to. Whether it's go to the Internet and be careful of what we're reading there, but, like, get some clear, concise information from there, or we go to our healthcare providers or sources like this, places like this. We know that people have our best interests at heart. But to me, above all, we can't let them take us down. Who is them? Whoever the them is that's trying to take us down. We can't. Like, even when we talk about, like, black maternal health, how many times have y' all heard black women are two to three times more likely to die? Yes, we know. You know what I mean? Like, but what are we not gonna do? Stick in that.

[Kia]

What are we gonna do about it?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yes, what are we gonna do about it? How are we gonna educate ourselves? How are we gon prevent the preventable, which is most of the things that can happen to us? And so, you know, again, this is coming from education. This is coming from seeking the knowledge. This is coming to me from praying. Praying for that discernment, praying for that understanding. You know, but I believe in Jesus. But that's, you know, even if you don't, you know what I'm saying? I just think we should all looking and seeking the truth and not. Not stay in that place of, you know, either sadness or hurt or defeat, that we are trying to rise up out of that thing because that's what we. That's what we good for. Anyway. We've been rising up since we've been doing it. Yes. Since forever.

[Jade]

We actually. And that. I'm so glad you said that because I've been saying that to Kia and I've been trying to. That's been like my. My mantra to myself repeatedly is, oh, okay. We have been through so much you know what I'm saying? We've been through so much, and so we're gonna get through this as well, but it's. It's really hard. I've spoken to you, I want to say, in the last two episodes about a lack of health care. Like, I don't have insurance. And right now, while all this Medicaid and all these things are being threatened, I'm still dealing with this fibroid. And I can feel it getting worse. And it's like, this is. This feels like a. It just feels ominous.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

But I know there are ways that we can work around it, and I think that the work that you do is so important for that reason, because this is why we need every type of person in every type of field within our community to share proper information, to help people to learn how to combat what they need, what they need to go ask for, and so forth and so on. So I wanted to start off with some questions because I don't think we have gotten into much conversation around sexual changes in your body with age. We started talking about perimenopause, I think, in the first. The first visit. We didn't talk much about it in the second. But some of the questions we've gotten here have been around changes in your body, especially as it comes to, like, lubrication and so forth. So can you talk to us about sex as you get older?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah, let's talk about. Okay.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Yes, exactly, baby.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So I think the first thing I want to say about that is that everything to me start. Even though I'm a healthcare provider, whole, you know, prescribed meds and all this stuff, everything starts with our general baseline health and wellness. What we eat, how we move, how we care for our bodies, what we drink. Everything starts there. We talk about fibroids and talk about menopause. And I'm not saying that if you just eat clean and exercise, you won't have any issues, but I am saying that it's hard to. What I say, faith without works is dead. It's hard to expect an outcome if you skip that first step. It's hard to get a better sensation or sentiment of your body if you skip the baseline health and wellness stuff. And so I think that all of us should be really, really careful and mindful about exercise, making sure we're trying to get our 150 minutes in of moderate exercise, a week or 75 of intense. I hate to exercise.

[Kia]

I love it.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

But if I don't, my body tells me, you messed up, you messed up. Now So I do it because I know I need it. Just like people who have high blood pressure take their medication because they need it. I exercise because I know I need it. So that's the first thing I think all of us, anybody, but especially we in our community need to do. I think we need to be really careful about what we're eating. You know, processed foods have us all in a chokehold. Not black women. United States of America.

[Kia]

The world. Yes.

[Jade]

Yeah, absolutely. And we.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And it's. It started. I'm 43. I believe it started right around our generation, you know, for sure.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

First of all, I used to get busy on a can of Beefaroni. Okay.

[Kia]

All the canned food. I remember, like, buying sausages. Like, these are the things that we.

[Jade]

SpaghettiOs, hot dogs, French fries, Kraft Mac.

[Kia]

And Cheese, Red dye, number five Kid Cuisines. Myself at this point, this is how I introduce myself. Sounds.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

But let us not act like that'll have an impact on our body. It's true.

[Kia]

Especially eating it for 30 years. Because you don't realize. Like, sometimes you don't realize. I don't. Cause like, you. I'll turn 43 this year. Dr. Wendy, as well. And it's easy to, like, sort of get in the mode where, you know, you just be still thinking that you. 29. But when you sit. Or 23, when you sit down, you realize, wow, I have been eating.

[Jade]

Or 30.

[Kia]

Exactly. I've been eating. If I enjoy a good. Like, you know, I've been eating these things for decades now. Like, okay, eating a chicken nugget when you're 21, and then you realize that you still bust down chicken nuggets at 40. It's like, not me eating chicken nuggets for 20 years. When did that happen?

[Jade]

Yeah, I know.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Is that, like, for me? Because my. So this is not a flex. It's just a statement. My husband is a chef, and he cares about gay gang.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

He cares about what. We care way more about what we eat than what I. Than what I care about. So. Meaning buys really good stuff. Whole foods. We eat vegetables. We have multiple grains. We have all the things. We eat meat, too, but we eat multiple things. Right. When I go and get what I want, I feel it in my bowels. Like, I know that I mess it up. Like, I done eating pizza too, but I can feel the difference. And then I think to myself, if I ate this every day, where would my body be? Like, I know that it would be different if I ate this every day. And so I know that we all don't even have access to all the things. But we can try to be intentional about getting even frozen veggies and fruit. Like, it's. It doesn't always have to be the fancy schmancies. I don't have to shop at Whole Foods Foods. It could be, which I don't personally. Personally, I don't. But, like, I feel like it's something that we can be mindful of. So I know you asked me about perimenopause, but I just had to start there because I do think that we need to be. We can't make sense, you know, but when we talk about.

[Jade]

And I think.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

No, go ahead.

[Jade]

No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Oh, no. I was just to your point about food, because those choices are. Are not very hard, right? Like even getting the. The potato chips. Challenge yourself. All you wanted to make sourdough in the pandemic. Excuse me. So get some potatoes and make some chips. You know, so if you want to have those snacks, at least you know what's going into them and what's going into your body.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It's a big difference. Even put it in the air fryer. Tony Baker and I love that he intermixes with his comedy, his health and wellness choices. Air fryer fries are just. Tastes just as tasty, especially seasoning bad boys up. And that's much better than even frying.

[Jade]

It in your own with some avocado oil. Oil, absolutely.

[Kia]

So.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So that's that. But then we talk about sex. So I do think that it's important for us to acknowledge the changes that our bodies are going through. And I think as women often, even just societally, we take responsibility for sex. What do I mean by that again? Yeah, like, oh, like, what's wrong with me? I don't have a libido. And I talk to my ladies and I'd be like, so what? What you been doing all day? Working. Take care of them. Kids be tired. But I feel like I should want to have sex. Or the worst ones. And this is not worse as in emotionally worse, but just for me, like, you don't want to have sex. Is it hurt? Oh, yeah, it hurts. Why would you want to do something that hurts? Like, why are we taking the onus for desire when something either hurts or you're too tired or you only having sex with. Let's talk about that.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And I don't.

[Jade]

Or you're the one having the baby, because why won't you niggas go get a fucking vasectomy?

[Kia]

But this is there's so much. I'm so glad that you said that. And I want to just raise my hand. I saw there's a young lady I've been following who she does like intimacy coaching because I think it's so important, because for so long, especially for women, especially growing up in the church and stuff, there is literally no conversation about cultivating healthy connection to intimacy or sort of things your body naturally does in that way. And so she's a lot of programming.

[Jade]

Sorry, I've been thinking about.

[Kia]

No, yeah, we've been doing a lot of. She's been doing a lot of programming there. She said something today that really just peeled my muffin cat back. She said a lot of times we. We as women are socialized to believe that because men are men that they are better at sex or we should defer to them when it comes to, you know, sex. Yeah, exactly. Because she stopped me and I was like. Well, she was like, a lot of women feel like. Because, well, my husband has had more sexual partners or he started having sex before I did. And so. And when it comes down to negotiating interactions between, you know, that partnership, we just allow the men to take the lead or they are sort of in the driver's seat. Women are not empowered to speak up for themselves and say what they want and say what they like. We just are expected to just let the men do the driving. And I just wanted to flag that because when you said it that, you know, that brought that back to my mind. So many of us don't, like, it's not up to them. Like, they don't. They don't get to control the narrative. And just because they've been having sex longer doesn't mean that they're better at.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It or because they desire it more frequently. That means something wrong with us.

[Kia]

Yes, exactly.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Why don't you want to have sex? Well, why do you want to have sex all of the time sex?

[Jade]

Because. Hold on. Because. Yes, Dr. Wendy. Because also, do you want to have. Are you frustrated?

[Kia]

Are you.

[Jade]

Do you need to release something worked out? Exactly. Have you gone to the gym? Have you done all of the things you need for other releases before you come and use this as your outlet?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You see what I'm saying? Like, so I feel like there's. And so. So there is an era change that I think is physiologic. So, you know, we were teenagers and all you could think about was sex, even if you wasn't having it. Like, it was everywhere. Right. Even that song, let's Talk About Sex. Like, that came out. We was teens, we was over here, let's talk about it. But I was like, hey, you know, not one thing so right. Like.

[Jade]

Oh, I hated that guy. Oh, I hated that song.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

But so we were interested. Part of it was because it was the unknown. Part of it was because, like, our. Our adrenal in our teens and early twenties was like, was, you know, in there. But again, focuses change, eras change, bodies change. And so now the interest is not just, I'm frisky because I'm frisky. It could be that you need to either have fostered connections. We need to. When do you. When do you tell me that you're interested in sex? Is it just when you come sitting up next to me? Or is it when you texted me earlier and said, I love you, boo, or you look fine today, or you, you know, hit my booty, come walking past me? Like, those types of things are intimacy.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

They are foreplay. And then if you're not interested, then it could be not only that, again, there's so many other things going on in your brain. It could be the vagina is changing because menopause will sometimes cause a change in the compliance of the vagina, meaning the stretch or the moisture. And there are ways, there are ways medically to fix that. Like, easy, easy breezy. But it's not always that, at least in my experience as a gynecologist. It's often multi layered. And I think that we don't give ourselves enough. Enough width of options when it comes to why we're not interested. We boil it down, what's. How can I improve my libido? As though it's just like, you know, a vitamin. It's like. No, there's things that have to wrap together for libido conversation.

[Kia]

Yeah, much more.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Yeah, much more than you need to.

[Jade]

Go see a different type of doctor Sister. Yeah, that's what it sounds.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And mental health. Okay, we can't even get into that. But mental health is another part too. Like, are you sad? You anxious? What's the person who's depressed wants to be, you know, you know, Evan. So anyway.

[Kia]

Right.

[Jade]

No, I agree. No, please, keep on with it. Keep. Okay. We actually got quite a few questions around vaginal dryness, and you already kind of started speaking on that, so I think that's a good segue. Let me find experiencing dryness in your early 30s. What do we do? How do we. Course, correct.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah. So a few options, a few thoughts.

[Kia]

It's not a mistake. You didn't do anything wrong. Yeah.

[Jade]

First course correct that verbiage.

[Kia]

It's not your fault.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Okay, start right there. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yes. So, so but I think, okay, so even that multi layered. So when we were frisky and thinking about sex all the time, the mental will stimulate the physical. So now your lubrication, your endogenous lubrication is flowing. If you're not thinking about it, you're not just sitting here wet. Like that's just not. I mean most people aren't unless they leak in urine like that. You're usually not right and not putting that in there. But sometimes if you just wet other reasons. So neither nor there. But my point is that sometimes it libido wraps into your moisture. The other thing is I don't think that there's anything wrong with using lube. Like we not ashamed about ash on our elbows and having to put lotion on them bad boys. So why are we like oh, I shouldn't need lube. Yes you do. Especially if you are consistently finding that there's friction. Because here's the thing, if you're experiencing friction, you're probably experiencing pain which is not sexy. That's not making you want to have sex. Make it a slip and slide, have a good old time and then maybe next time you'll think about how sleep it was last time and your body will generate it on its own. When we get into the menopause or perimenopausal space again, it does get physiologic. So the estrogen levels dying down cause a dryness because there's just less of the estrogen in the vagina. But we can use a vaginal estrogen. For those of you when I said that, who got scared about hormone replacement therapy. Vaginal estrogen is not technically hormone replacement therapy because it's a locally active hormone. Anybody can use that. Like it is literally not contraindicated in very almost all circumstances. So like that though is like local. That's literally like lotion to your vagina. But if you're still squeamish about it, there are long acting vaginal moisturizers, hyaluronic acid type moisturizers. There are specific brands that I definitely recommend, but a lot of different options for just a long acting. So not just like a momentary lube but like something that's just going to give more moisture into the vagina. That's not hormonal, but that's easy. But I do think that if you're, if it's in your 30s, it's probably more related to you're just not at the ready like you once were.

[Jade]

And that's stimulated the way you want to be.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Or need to be physically there. Yeah, girl. Because you know when you start thinking about stuff, your little vagina starts thumping. You know what I'm saying? You start, you know what I'm saying?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You'd be like, oh, oh, oh.

[Kia]

Okay. Question.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So one of the.

[Kia]

One of the questions that I got from a listener asked about this, but specific to after having a baby, she writes, after having a baby, I no longer get naturally wet. How can I fix this? Or is it just, do I just need lube? Like, is this connected to. Well, can having a baby impact this in a particular way?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah, but typically temporarily. So if you're having a baby, say you're breastfeeding, that is releasing a certain type of hormone that's kind of anti vaginal moisture. And I think that is physiologic too. This is my theory. This is not evidence based, but I think it's because our bodies are actually not designed to have babies super quick, like super close together. So that one of the deterrents when people say, oh, I'm breastfeeding and I can't get pregnant, that's not true. But it does change your ovulation cadence a little bit. And same thing after having a baby, especially if you're breastfeeding, the vagina is not at the same level of estrogen as it would be if you weren't. So that there's less moisture, there's less comfort, it can be more uncomfortable. So I've actually given postpartum ladies vaginal estrogen if they want to try it or again, just giving yourself permission to be in that era of your life. And sorry, Ms. Chicago. Hey, I don't know if you hear all the. But, you know, giving yourself permission to be in that era of your life, life and knowing that your body has changed, you know, we are not all at six weeks ready to get back into that thing like we might need to. And that's okay.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

But simultaneously, six weeks feels like it.

[Jade]

Was made for the. Anyway, if I'm being honest, the whole.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Lives, I'm concerned, but simultaneously, you know, I do think that as women we are, we should also have permission to be able to enjoy sex. And so that if we're, you know, say we're a month or two or three beyond that and you, like want to get into it again, we should be able to do that comfortably. And there are definitely ways to Improve that. But I don't think it's a forever thing.

[Jade]

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[Kia]

For a limited time at McDonald's, get a Big Mac Extra Value meal for $8. That means two all beef patties, special sauce, lettuce, cheese, pickles, onions on a sesame seed bun and medium fries and a drink. We may need to change that jingle.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Prizes and participation may vary.

[Kia]

I love that we're giving women permission to have a conversation. I love we are framing of like giving yourself permission to be in this season. I do feel like a lot of times it does warrant a conversation with our partners. Right. Especially when we are with them long term. Like sex is set up different for me now that I am knocking on 40 and maybe that is a conversation you need to have with your partners and just talking about there might be different ways to, you know, get it. You know, it used to be certain way, like he could look at you a certain way and you would be ready when you was 26.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

That part.

[Kia]

But at 36, it's like child, you got to cut through a little bit more noise.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You, you might need to do some good. You might need to get up with that.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You know what I mean? Like go put some car. Like be not.

[Kia]

Yeah, yeah. You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

Like there's more ways my perspective on sexy has changed.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I can't tell what is attractive to me matters.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yes. And then they sitting there like man, I get up every night, you know, the baby, this man. And then and he, he doesn't, he goes to work or whatever, but he doesn't, you know, do this. And he want to know why I don't want to have sex. And I'm like bruh, like I was.

[Kia]

I don't like, I don't like your little. I don't like you in this.

[Jade]

No. And your gray sweatpants are low hanging fruit. Please do better. Do more.

[Kia]

Have to work a little hard, sir. Do more.

[Jade]

Do something. Prince is not prince in the.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I could care less.

[Kia]

You're. I could care less. No, don't care.

[Jade]

It could look like a building coming out of your pants.

[Kia]

I don't give a right now if.

[Jade]

You'Re not contributing to carry on this continued conversation of vaginal lubrication from a different vantage point and you just touched on it. Dr. Wendy but one of our listeners says please ask can a 52 how a 52 year old can rejuvenate her vagina juices like not damp but wet. So do you have anything additional than what you just said to offer to that and you spoke on a couple of loops that you said that you would recommend. Can you say what those.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah, yeah. And I'm not sponsored by this so I'm happy to, to just drop them in here at first. I will say that I think so. I know we, we spent some time talking about like women give yourself permission to either not want it or know why you don't want it. But there is something to be said for engaging if you want to want to. If you want to want to.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Being clear on that. Not just somebody making you want. You want to want to. It might be helpful to try to engage and get yourself together and be excited about it and enjoy it because that too awakens some parts of our brain that are anticipating then the next time. There's some science that suggests that men the longer they go between having sex the more they want to versus women the longer they go between having sex. And again not completely gender biasing the whole thing, but this is just, you know, some, some basic science, right that said this, that women when they go too long between having sex, they actually want to have it less. So it's like yeah like raring a go and women are like I've been good.

[Kia]

So.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Then. But if you want again you want to feel sexy, you want to engage it is there is something to be said for me, maybe you even have to not gonna sound sexy, but schedule it like every Wednesday or every whatever so that there's a little bit of an anticipation, especially if you do enjoy yourself, that your brain is going to be like, oh, let's do that again. So there's that now to get it wet. Yes. We can get back into some. I told you, some vaginal estrogens and there's a bunch of brands for that. But that's prescription. Right. When we talk about like hyaluronic acid, the Bonafide brand. Some of y' all see me on Facebook because I partnered with them before, but they ain't paying me right now. But, but I do like that brand. I don't partner real. I don't already like their brand.

[Kia]

Actual fact. Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So I think theirs is called either relevant or Reverie. There's. There's two. And I always forget which one's the moisturizer, which one's the hot flash one. I want to say it's. But it's from the Bonafide brand. If you go to Bonafide and, and find vaginal moisturizer, there's also. What's it called? P. Not PhD. That's the boric acid. I might have to tell you later because I'm blanking on the name. Other one that you can just get from like Walgreens. It's a long acting vaginal riser. It's not Vagisil. It's like another one that I'm blanking on the name right now.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

But that's another one that you could just buy like from Amazon. So I'll make sure I.

[Jade]

Okay. Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Shop show notes or whatever.

[Jade]

A vaginal lubricant and est. Or estrogen.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Or estrogen. Yeah, and estrogen. Estrogen, Estrogen are going to like load. You're going to probably do it every night like a pill every night for like a week or two and then you'll go down to like twice a week and that's just going to keep you moisturized. That's a basic vaginal estrogen. There are some that are a little bit more fancy, a little more razzle dazzle for like reduced reduction of vaginal pain. Some of them even will help tackle some of the vasomotor symptoms like hot flashes or night sweats so you can get fancier. But if you're just basically looking for something to improve the vaginal moisture and stretch. And some people are like, well, I don't want more stretch, I want less stretch. But that's neither here nor there. Like it's this is talking about, you know, the compliance, the stretch of the vagina. Then you probably want to try vaginal estrogen.

[Jade]

Do Kegels actually keep it tight? Is that for real? For real.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You know, keels are gonna keep you dry, I think, as in not pe.

[Jade]

Oh. Oh, yeah. Keep your. Yes. Yeah. They'll strengthen. Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I'm more concerned about strength for keeping you from peeing on yourself or leaking urine at unforeseen times than keeping it, quote, unquote, tight. Because my thing is. This is back to my women empowerment part. Like, I don't. I'm not responsible for my vagina's size and. Or, you know.

[Jade]

You know what?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You're right.

[Kia]

Compliant. Yes. The strength.

[Jade]

Keep it tight. That's also a patriarchal thought.

[Kia]

It's.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It's. We go. We always go back to the patriarchy. Always.

[Kia]

Wow.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Even.

[Jade]

We don't even realize when we are in our lives.

[Kia]

Programming. It's programming. It's all programming program.

[Jade]

Like, it's baked into me like a brain.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

This is crazy.

[Jade]

Exactly. You know what? You. I'm keeping it tight.

[Kia]

No.

[Jade]

But I want it loose.

[Kia]

You mentioned. You mentioned keeping yourself from. What is it called, incontinence when you, like, pee on yourself a little bit. Yes. Is that something that. That is. That is something that just happens generally with age. Right. It's not something that you've done wrong. Because we do have a question here about, like, I'm noticing that this is happening more frequently. Like, I. I can't hold it like I used to. Is that something that. That is connected to just general aging, or are there other. Is it. Could that be an indication that there's something else going on or. Or both?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

That's a great question. And so I actually did an activation this weekend for my brand. We'll talk about that later. But one of myths.

[Jade]

Oh, that was my next question for you. Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I had Mythbusters, right? Myth versus fact. Like, is it normal to leak urine, you know, after having a baby or just in time? And the myth. Or that it was. The answer was, it's a myth because it's not normal, but it's common. Which. Those two are different. Right. I won't call it normal, but I'll call it common. So. Meaning it's a thing that a lot of people experience. It's a thing that one shouldn't be ashamed of or think that they, quote, unquote, did something wrong. But it is not something that I think a person needs to expect will just be their norm or their livelihood. For their life. Like, I very much do not plan peeing on myself or lifting urine into my elderly age. I'm just not gonna do that. You know what I mean? But that doesn't.

[Jade]

I would very much like to not.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Doesn't mean my body didn't set up for that after the things that it's been through. So that's where either Kegels or even something like pelvic floor physical therapy can come into play, because we should have the control. So over time, just, like, our muscles can kind of start to lax, even our face. Like, we try to all keep our faces tight and all these things. Those muscles in the vagina and the pelvic floor can become more lax, and they can let urine out when it ain't got no business coming out. But how can we keep that together? And that can start with strengthening. And sometimes people even need, like, procedures and surgery, but usually we can keep it together with strengthening over some time.

[Jade]

Okay, I'm doing my keels right now. Thank you.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Come on, let's do better.

[Kia]

Oh, my God.

[Jade]

I am.

[Kia]

Stop what you're doing right now. Right now. 10. Okay.

[Jade]

All right. 10 sets of 10. Let's go, reps. Great.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I love it. Everybody listen. Y' all better be doing them. Y' all better be doing.

[Jade]

You know they are. They did it instinctually. As soon as I said I'm doing my every, people start coochies.

[Kia]

Anytime I hear the word, it's like, oh, yeah, gotta do it.

[Jade]

Yeah, let's get it down.

[Kia]

Get it down. While I'm thinking about it right now.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

That was what we needed. We needed that. A wonderful break. And if you're out here and you don't know that I do mine. Am I doing them? That means you didn't do them. That means you need some help if you don't.

[Kia]

Okay, how often should we be. Should we be taking Kegel breaks? Is that something like. Let's talk a little bit about that pelvic muscle. The pelvic floor a therapy. Is that something we could talk to our doctors about? I know that there are lots of people on YouTube and the socials who have information, give us a sense sort of like, what a normal sort of cadence is.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So let me also. Because I'm all about the caution. Let me caution y'.

[Jade]

All.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

You can do them wrong. You can end up with some pelvic floor dis. Synergy, meaning not working together. Well, where some people have difficulty, like, letting their urine out, or if you're somebody who deals with, like, something like Chronic constipation. You got to be careful because you don't want to heighten something that's already not releasing when it's supposed to. But if you're somebody who you know something, you giggle, you cackle. Just a second ago and some urine came out, you probably need to, you know, tighten it up. So I typically recommend that a person does a set of 10. And a 10 is like a. Literally a squeeze and hold. 1, 2, 3, release. 1, 2, 3, Release. And that usually says there's some breath control involved and there's some, like, lifting of the pelvic floor. A set of 10 in the morning, a set of 10 in the evening. If I'm delivering a baby, I'm probably gonna do a set of 10 because something about watching somebody push a baby out the vagina makes me do a cue. So I was.

[Jade]

I'm doing a set of 10 during this.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Stipulation. It's not a quick squeeze.

[Jade]

You got to hold. Yeah, I'm holding right now.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yep. You're trying to get release twice a day, if you can. That's. That's how people start.

[Kia]

And I've heard this.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I don't want to overdo it. I'm sorry. Go ahead, Mary.

[Kia]

Yeah, another thing that I saw, this was probably on the clock app, and I. I said. Said I was gonna look it up or even talk to my own doctor about it. A lot of times people misplace, like, engaging your core. Okay. When you're doing an exercise or I'm in the gym and people tell you to engage your core, like, that often can mean like a Kegel, but you don't recognize that that is also a part of your pelvic. Your pelvic floor is a part of your core.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It can be. I don't know that it always is. Like, I can think about right now doing like a vacuum, like, sucking in. And I'm not doing nothing with my pelvic floor. But I could also do it all together, and I think that that is even more effective. So I don't know if you have a good core. You could still have a jacked up pelvic floor. True.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So you gotta make sure you're doing it all together.

[Kia]

I would say that's a worthwhile conversation to have during your annual.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah, don't be ashamed either. It's not. It's so common outside. Do a whole visit, talking about everything under the same fun. And at the beginning, at the end, and the mat is like, so about this year, and I'm like, Bro, what you. Why you holding out? Like, let's talk about that early, you know, so that we can really do it. Because often what I will also do is when I'm doing the exam, like, I'll do the pap or whatever, if they're due for that. But then I'll also do a pelvic exam to make sure the uterus always feel normal. And before I actually take this and sound graphic, before I take my finger out of the vagina, I'm like, squeeze and hold. And I can see if that person has squeeze, if they have that muscle control or not. Helps me to know where do they need to go next. Do they have great control? And you're still leaking urine. You probably need to see a urologist or urogynecologist if they have no control. Maybe we start with Kegels and. Or pelvic floor physical therapy to gain some control.

[Jade]

Okay. Okay. Oh, that's good. I wish I would have known this when I was pregnant because I was a pissing fool when I would sneeze or laugh. I mean, just all over the place, and I felt like I had a pretty strong vagina.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It'll humble. It'll humble you. Or when you really have to go. And if you can't get to the bathroom, it ain't much. Things that'll make you more sad than your urine.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Down your leg.

[Jade]

It'll humble you more when you're not pregnant. You know, have to hang up the.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Day at that point. Like.

[Kia]

Well, like, I am bustling in reverse.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Got nothing now. Got nothing.

[Jade]

Wait, Dr. Wendy, before we continue on, because we have some. I. I have a question for you that I am very curious of. A question from a listener that I am very curious about because I've never heard of this. But before we do that, how. What's the update on your underwear and vulva lubrication line? Well, what's going on?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It's all coming. It's all. Some of it's here, some of it, some of it's on the way. I am really squeamish about it. Squeamish is not the word, but it's the word I'm using right now because I, you know, this is not what I do. What I do is this right? This is what I do all day, every day, talk to my patients. I am new territory healthcare provider. This is a whole new territory of, like, bringing products to market. But everything I'm bringing are things that one I really, truly believe God laid on my heart and things that I Felt like should exist. That don't exist. So I have a box Women's boxers line. Not boxer briefs boxers. Because I've worn.

[Jade]

Yes, I remember you talking about that out here.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Now it's called every bottoms.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And I. It's because I wore men's boxers for 20 some years because my vagina was happiest with air and. But they look like men's boxers. And I'm changing the locker room and I know ain't nobody looking at me, but I know if they look at me, they like, why she got on these. These dudes boxes? What she look like? What is this?

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I now have a brand of women's boxes, but also intended for everybody. They're literally called every bottom. Anybody who wants to wear them, welcome. Bring it on. Anybody who would love other bottom.

[Jade]

The child in me laughed at every bottom. So I'm not going to lie. But I love it.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

It is. My son helped design the logo. And so the B looks like a butt, which is. I love that.

[Jade]

I can't wait for my pair.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Oh, that's so good.

[Jade]

Okay. And what about. What about our. Our Volvo?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Well, so that was not here yet, but it's coming. And really going to be a moisturizer to soothe. It's not technically a lube because it's not for the inside, although a lube is in the pipeline. But this is more so for just like ear soothing, irritated skin. Something that you know is safe. Like, what do you put on your vulva if you're irritated? You don't know. Don't nobody know what's safe to put there.

[Jade]

No.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

We created something that's safe, comfortable, and it's formulated by a black chemist. We work together. And she. She put. I said she put her foot in it, which sounds weird to say, but she did in this formula. So I love it. I love it. And then I have a mirror that helps you see all your parts. It's called the every mirror. Specifically, it designed to see the vulva so that you can see all your things. But I can. You can look and see the back of your head with it. You can see your back. So if you guys go to everybody brand dot com, Everybody brand dot com, you'll see all the things and as they come, you'll join the pipeline of people who are supporting me, but also closer to their own bodies.

[Jade]

Oh, I love that. So I want to do a. Let me be an influencer. I already have it.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

I want to recreate the scene of Fried Green Tomatoes where the lady at the class told everybody to pull out the mirrors and look at their vagina. And that's what we're gonna do to promote your mirror.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yes.

[Jade]

Okay. I'll be in touch.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yes.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Okay, back to our very important questions, because I know Kia got some and I got some, and we are running rampantly out of time because you know.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

What we're gonna do if we don't get through everything? We're gonna do it again, because why not?

[Jade]

Period. We're gonna have to. Okay. Never heard of this. I've never heard of this. I have an itchy clitoris. And even though I shower morning and night, my clitoris will have white film, okay?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So I don't know if anybody has ever seen an uncircumcised penis. I've never seen an adult one. Just putting that on record. But I've seen a whole lot of baby ones because I do circumcise.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And they have this stuff called Smegma. I don't know who made the name, but that's what it's called. Smegma.

[Jade]

Oh, dick cheese. Sorry, Is that what.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I've never heard it called that, but.

[Jade]

You'Re welcome.

[Kia]

We can just rely on Jade for I'm doctor.

[Jade]

I'm doctor's worst nightmare. Okay?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Listen, I'm here for it. But so. But that same stuff, because it's the same. It's dead skin cells. It's like this. It's all of that that's under the clitoral hood that can also be present on the clitoris. Now, my question for this person is, is it that? And for those of you who have looked and seen that that's normal, that's healthy, or is it. And I say normal and healthy as in it's nothing wrong with you. Right? You can rinse it away or, you know, wipe it away, but it's not bad. Or is it yeast? Because if it's itchy, then I'm concerned that it might be yeast. And so that, to me, was. She said itchy swab to see what's going on. Or maybe even, like an antifungal.

[Jade]

Okay?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

But I would say, like, see a provider if it's itching. Because then I also wonder, what are you washing with? Are you irritating the area? Are you being so diligent about getting that stuff out that you're actually causing some inflammation or irritation? By the way, my bottle will be good for that. Stay tuned. But that's exactly what it's about. But anyway. But I think that this. This is one of Those moments where it could be like a little bit of an infection that needs some attention.

[Jade]

So she. Yeah, if it's itchy, but if it's not itchy and there's a film, that could just mean it's a very hooded vagina that has to be cleaned differently. Like a. Like an uncircumcised penis.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And just maybe under there. I would say, yeah, rinse under there. You could probably just, you know, kind of just keep it a little bit more clean, but not like so clean. You can just use a little water and, you know, your hand and just kind of carefully get under there. Or maybe even like a really gentle washcloth. I would be really careful with the washcloth, though, because I think that could be abrasive. So you got to be really careful under. Especially that clitoral hood because the clitoris is a tender flower. Not to be all about it, but.

[Kia]

No, seriously.

[Jade]

No, it is, it is. She's a. She's a. She's a sensitive.

[Kia]

Yeah, she's got a lot of. She's a little temperamental as well.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

She don't let nobody do any old thing. That's what she don't do.

[Jade]

It doesn't.

[Kia]

No, no, it doesn't. It doesn't take much to. To get her going. I have a question. Someone asked. Well, yeah, pmdd. PMDD is real. How do we. How do we combat that?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So PMDD is Premenstrual Dysphoric Disorder. When you think of pms. Pms, Premenstrual syndrome, which is. Can be physical or. And. Or emotional changes as one leads up to their cycle. Whether that's fatigue, whether it's irritability, it could be cramps or headaches. So again, it could be physical or emotional. Premenstrual dysphoric disorder is level up now. It interferes with your ability to carry on daily life. You either can't leave the house, you can't talk to nobody. You messing up projects at work because you can't. You can't stand nobody. You know, like that kind of stuff. It's like it has now become dysphoric, meaning you can't function. And it is real. That one. We can start off with like the diet and exercise stuff too, because PMS and PMDD can be worse with like the sugar and processed food consumption. It can also be something where hormonal modulation can be, you know, necessary. Meaning like something like a birth control. I know people always, like, gynecology is always bringing our birth control, but it is because hormonal things sometimes require hormonal solutions. So it's not to say that it's a solution for everyone, but it is to say that it can help if that's the problem.

[Jade]

Okay, okay, this is a good one. Is having children later in life really as hard as they make it seem?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Oh, that is a good one. Let me see how I want to answer that question. Because a lot of my patients, I would even venture to say most of my patients are what we call advanced maternal age. Don't nobody say geriatric pregnancy, especially now.

[Jade]

Oh, thank you.

[Kia]

Because I hate it in a big red letter. They love to say it.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Maternal age is 35 or above. Right. It's not the end of the world. It's actually, again, I think most of my patients are in that space, in that era of their lives. I have a lot of professional people, I have a lot of people who just went on and did other things and then had their babies. Risks do go up. Fertility does change. So I can't act like science doesn't science, but it's not the end of the world. We are pretty good at caring for and watching for, for signs of things going quote, unquote wrong. You know, avoiding pitfalls. Yes. Things like preeclampsia risks are a little higher. But preeclampsia can happen to a 27 year old.

[Kia]

Me.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah, you know, therians and stuff, that risk goes up. But cesareans happen to everybody or can happen to everybody. So it's not to say like, oh, because you're advanced maternal age, you're going to have X, Y and Z complication. Many of our ladies have no complications, but we are washing procedures for them. Like we are intentional about watching for them and we have to be at the ready to intervene when things maybe are going awry. So I. One thing I would probably implore anybody who is thinking about being pregnant later in life is one, talk to a provider, maybe about freezing your eggs if time is really ticking. If we hit in those late 30s, early 40s and you don't know when it's going to happen, maybe put them eggs on ice, have that conversation. But two, just know that while your mom might have had all the easy deliveries when she was 25, yours might not be quite as easy. But that doesn't mean that we can't, you know, keep you safe. So if that means, hey, this baby, we might need to take a little bit early or, you know, this situation needs a little bit more monitoring. Come in once a week as opposed to every two weeks, like Be ready for those pivots, because sometimes that's what's needed to keep a person safe, if that makes any sense.

[Jade]

Okay. Yes, very much so. Very much so. And it sounds like most of our questions around balancing hormones or fluctuating hormones and moods, you've answered a lot of them by starting off with, like, checking our health, number one. And that's. That seems like that's the number one thing that we need to go to, because there were several of those. So just say, I hope y' all are listening, since I didn't. Yeah, I know you didn't ask this.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

But I just have to put in a plug for some of our 2025 weight loss options, because as we age, often that's one of the first things that happens to most of us, especially when you hit that perimenopausal place. Right. But then along with it can come various health complications or issues. And so sometimes we don't. We try to, you know, band aid certain problems, but it's like, if we can try to get some of the weight down, that would help a lot of the problems all at once. But, you know, some people are afraid of some of the medications or the procedures or even just even getting a dietitian on board. Like, I refer people to dietitians all the time. Nourish.com. no, no, no. Use nourish.com. use nourish.com is a, like, directory for dietitians. Take. Take insurance. You. Okay, you can find somebody who speaks to your, you know, your needs, and you can really, like. Because people like, oh, I eat good. Well, maybe you don't eat as good as you think you eat. Like, maybe you need some slight.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And so I think that, you know, we need to be really intentional about trying to control that part as our bodies change, because I think gynecologically, it actually does matter.

[Jade]

Okay. Oh, okay. That's good. Thank you for sharing that. And I'm glad you shared something that you. That we didn't ask you, because I. I welcome. We welcome that anytime. We don't even always know what to ask. Were you about to say, sis?

[Kia]

Yeah, I was gonna ask. I had a question here from a listener asking about probiotics. What probiotics do you recommend now, I wonder? Like, I guess, are probiotics something that we can just think about in a one size off, one size fits all kind of way, or are there certain probiotics for certain things that we need to be thinking about?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

That's a. That's. That's A great category or great way to answer that question because. So when we. When I think about probiotics, I think of two spaces that they can be beneficial. I think of the gi, which is like stomach, intestines, bowels, right. And I think of gu genital urinary, which is like the vagina. Right. And so we know we have a certain amount of good bacteria in the vagina. They're supposed to keep our pH. Right. The vagina is a self cleaning oven. And what does that even mean? It means that the ph in the vagina, which is released by the Lactobacillus, which is the certain type of bacteria, Lactobacillus acidophilus, keeps our vagina acidic, which helps to keep infections away. Right. So we want that Lactobacillus and those good balanced bacteria in the vagina separately. Some people who have GI disturbances will look to a GI probiotic for their stomach and for their intestines and for their bowels. And if you like it, I love it. But my husband happens again, not a flex. My husband happens to be a GI doctor and so I've asked him.

[Jade]

Who is this man.

[Kia]

And a GI doctor.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

So I've asked him how he feels about GI probiotics. And while we know that the microbiome, which is like the bacterial like stat state of the gastrointestinal. Gastrointestinal tract is important, we don't actually have a great way to like replicate it with the way that like marketing, you know, sells these probiotics. It doesn't mean I don't think that they're good. But like one of the best things you can do for your GI microbiome is actually eat a balanced diet, right? Like eat fruits and vegetables and eat your grains and like different colors in of your different food foods. That's the best thing we can do for our GI Flora, which is the bacteria.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

For the vagina. Sometimes we can benefit, especially if you're prone to BV bacterial vaginosis or yeast. We can benefit from either an oral probiotic or a vaginal probiotic. And some of them are vetted and tested, and some of them not so much. The one that I like, like me on the Internet is Claire V, also from Bonafide. What I like about that company is they test their stuff and so they can demonstrate improvement of the vaginal microbiome with that supplement. But I don't think everybody needs a supplement. I don't think that like that's a one size fits all or like cast that net wide. It's more so if you're somebody who's prone to these things, it's worth trying for the vagina.

[Jade]

Okay. But it's not a necessary.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Like I don't take one on the regular, but I have taken a course with that before.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

Right. Another quick related question in terms of, like, things that may be accessible over the counter. We have a question here about folate and folic acid. Is it true that every woman our age or sort of, you know, just within. Within our age range should be taking folic acid daily? And can you take too much?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I don't know that I would blank a statement that one. I think that the thing about a lot of the multivitamins at women of childbearing age is that we know that if we are deficient in folic acid and folate is a version of folic acid, it requires folate requires us to have a certain enzyme to convert folate to folic acid. And not everybody has. So the FDA says folic acid is just as well. I don't mind it if a person takes one versus the other, but when you're pregnant, the baby, the gestating human requires folic acid, like early for their neural tube development, development of their brain and spinal column. And if you don't know you're pregnant and you're deficient, that can mess things up. So that's why that's something that people of childbearing age could take daily. Because what if. Oops, surprise. Not oops, but you know what I mean, Surprise you pregnant, make sure you. Your body was supplied of that. But do you need that just as at baseline? I don't know that we need any multivitamin, especially if we're getting a good balanced diet that, like on a day, you know, like it.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Yeah, that was hard. But I would say, generally speaking, not necessarily.

[Jade]

Yeah, we, I. We have so many questions. Like, not even the me. No, I think we have to do.

[Kia]

Like a five episode. We have to because the girls are asking I really do question.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

And I love that.

[Kia]

It'S all based in like, real experience. Like one, like somebody asked about amnesia and perimenopause, which I feel like got to be something there.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

We call that brain. We call that brain.

[Kia]

Wow. Yeah. Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

That's the thing.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

That is a thing.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Wow. Man, we gotta have another conversation.

[Jade]

Yeah. I think Mary, as you're listening to this, just go ahead and reach out to Dr. Wendy and let's just. I think we. You gotta come back.

[Kia]

Like, we haven't even Gotten like, the. Of most of the conversation. Most of the questions here, the perimenopause ones are absolutely at. At the 4. So I know that we might need.

[Jade]

To have a specific targeted conversation on Perry menopause specifically. But. But Dr. Wendy delivered seven babies today, and she went to a basketball game, and she's got to now go eat dinner. So the time.

[Kia]

But woo the girls.

[Jade]

I made that up, by the way.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

I was say, first of all. And second of all, they know I lied. I did two surgeries this morning, but then I saw Patience. And then my baby. My. My baby. My baby. Baby's at the door. That's my dog. He like, are you gonna take me out? Yeah, I will.

[Jade]

See, this is what I'm saying. We are so grateful for you, Dr. Wendy. Audience, if we didn't get to your question, we're not done. These conversations are not exhaustive. And Dr. Wendy will be back. You all stay tuned for the next segment. Check out all the links in the description box for all things Dr. Wendy, including where to find her on social media. And we will see you all in just a minute.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Honestly.

[Jade]

Truly. All right, we're gonna do an honesty box this week, but we're gonna switch it up. Just a taste. It's more of a shout out, and we are very excited to read it, actually. So. Hello. Takia. Spelled correctly. And Jade. My name is ces. Thank you for your service.

[Kia]

Thank you.

[Jade]

Fully spelled correctly. Okay.

[Kia]

I love that for all of us.

[Jade]

Thank you so much.

[Kia]

What's her name?

[Jade]

It's only been eight years. Celicia.

[Kia]

Celicia. Thank you.

[Jade]

Cea Stanton. And I'm a podcast producer, photographer, and debate coach from Minneapolis, Minnesota. Okay, great debaters.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Okay.

[Jade]

I'm also the creator and host of Truer Crime, a podcast that seeks to add more nuance, context, and questions to the ways we tell true crime stories. You all know this is my type of time. Now, I found your show recently, and I wish I'd found it so much sooner. As a black woman in her late 20s, I'm always looking, looking for perspective and advice from other black women who've walked the path of adulthood before me. Your banter and chemistry is amazing, and I so admire the ways you can talk about complex experiences in such a relatable way. Thank you, Celicia. I'm reaching out now. All right, let's go. I want you all. Okay. Like many of our guests, my life has taken a number of twists and turns that have defined my life and career. But first of all, backstory on me on why I Started Truer crime in late 2020, my entire life savings vanished, stolen by a financial adviser I trusted. I soon found myself entangled in a legal battle alongside over 20 others, all of us victims who had lost our retirement savings and financial security. Oh my God, I'm so sorry, police.

[Kia]

I'm so upset.

[Jade]

I was going to start screaming like the man on the train, but I'm not going to do that. To make matters worse, my financial advisor was a black man who later admitted to intentionally targeting me and other black folks who were trying to build wealth and take control of our financial health in a world not designed to support our success. Nasty work, let me tell already has in the wake of this experience, I turned to True Crime podcast. I'd always been a fan of the genre, but now the story has resonated on a whole new level. Armed with this newfound experience as a crime victim, I found myself routinely frustrated with how these stories were being told. I listened to episode after episode, and each time what stood out most was just how much was missing. Same sister Swiss Cheese Rarely did hosts engage with how race, gender, and sexuality shaped these stories. They never seemed interested in exploring the root cause of crime. And over countless episodes, I witnessed the grand glorification of cops and the minimization of victims. Real people were repeatedly reduced to the worst thing that had ever happened to them. It all left me with so many questions. Does the story really end with a headline arrest or a guilty verdict? How can we actually support victims? What does justice really mean, and who is it really for? Finally, after weeks spent complaining, I decided to take action. I wanted to see if I could make something truly different. After a few months of development, extensive research, and a novel's worth of writing, Truer Crime was first released in the world of summer 2021. But as you know, creating a podcast, especially one designed to go deeper, takes a lot of time and resources to make. And years have passed since that first season. But soon, all of that is about to change. Because True Crime Season two is mere months from release, the new season has nine episodes, each telling a story that explores what crime victimization, the criminal legal system, and quote unquote justice really look like in our country. In many of these cases, I even had the opportunity to work with folks directly connected to these stories from family members, friends, and even victims themselves. It is my highest priority to do right by them, to get these stories out there so they can be heard and understood with the care, respect, and nuance they deserve. Y', all. I'm so excited to. To. To. To talk about this. Celicia, you let us know when Truer Crime officially drops season two, and we're gonna make sure that everybody gives it a good listen. Who's into that? Obviously, if it triggers you, you know, we ain't trying to do all of that, but if this is your. As much as we talked about snapped and everything else.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Get into it. Yeah. So there will be a link in the description below box so you all can check out Truer Crime. Cecia, we're so excited to shout you out. Thank you for letting us know what you're doing and what a thoughtful way of approaching it. What a thoughtful, thoughtful way. We're excited to go on this journey with you for season two, and I can't wait to hear more. So thank you for writing in. Make sure you all are sending your honesty box questions to. Hello, Getting grown. Co I desert. All right, y'. All, it is time for the self care and the. I know that's right. And I think this. Mine is twofold. Right?

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Okay.

[Jade]

So I mentioned earlier, you know, I finally started getting into trying to move my body again, which is a disgusting challenge when you have been complacent for an extended period of time. I mean, it's hard. And so I don't want to minimize that. It's hard just to first of all do the thing. So even if you're not doing a strenuous activity, it's not about. That's not even what it's about. It's hard to just actually get yourself motivated to do the thing. Which is why I spoke about Pilates a year ago and asked me if a Pilates has happened since. So in true accountability, I'm letting you all know that I did start and that it's hard. If you are having a hard time starting or you're feeling shamed or whatever the case is, don't. This is not for the faint of heart. And then also shout out to Mary. Oh, first of all, happy belated birthday to Mary.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Happy birthday, Growns producer. We are excited to celebrate you. Very grateful for your contributions to the platform. But Mary sent me a. A challenge, a 21 day challenge, which, you know me and you know that I am immediately averse to anything that says 21 day challenge, any challenge. Let's get started doing this together. I don't want to do that. Most of it is performative and it works my nerves, but I know her not to be a performative person, so I took stock and it's a meditation Challenge. And it's very thoughtful, actually. And it's been. While I'm just at the top of it, it is already been such a great benefit to not only preparing my mind for what, such as my workouts and, like, the things that are going to help me to make sure that I'm at my healthies, but my healthies mentally as well. It's a great way to process my thoughts. You know, sometimes with prayer or meditation or whatever the case is, you kind of get. Sometimes you. Especially with adhd, you get lost, you know, in your thoughts sometimes and taken away. And so it's really great at helping you to focus on very specific things so you know how to implement them into your life. And so I said yes this time, and it's actually been quite helpful. So that's why I'm feeling a good pivot and shift and just like creating healthy habits that help me to think about just different things a little bit more intentionally and thoughtfully. And it feels nice.

[Kia]

Yes. Yeah, I love that.

[Jade]

Thank you, sister.

[Kia]

That's dope. I will say similarly, you know, as I said at the start of the show, sort of managing a little emotional heaviness and mental heaviness, processing all that's going on, and then that on top of sort of grief and all the other things that we are negotiating on a daily. And so one of the things that helps me reconnect to myself and where I feel most comfortable, in addition to, you know, as you said, you know, prayer practice and being intentional about processing what I'm thinking and feeling, you know, through. Through prayer. I. I am a. A black woman who comes from a long line of black women who sing in choirs. And, you know, I know that that's something I don't know. Like, I feel like that aspect of our culture is not as common. And so just with the ways that things have evolved and changed over time, even within church spaces, like, you don't hear a lot of choirs. But, you know, I'm blessed to still maintain a connection to an awesome choir I have the privilege of singing with that's based in this area. My friend Sean Tillery has a choir called Change, and there was a concert this weekend. And, you know, as I said, you know, I grew up watching my mom and my grandma singing the choir. And, you know, I come from a family where that's just commonplace, is very much a part of who we are and how we sort of connect not only to each other, but sort of just like the essence of what makes us us. And so changed had A throwback concert sort of connected to, you know, maintaining our roots and, you know, going and going back and singing some of our favorite artists from back in the day that we grew up listening to. And so we had a throwback concert that was honoring Donald Lawrence. And I had the opportunity, opportunity to be a part of that. And it was really right on time. Right. You know, in a time where I was feeling mentally overwhelmed and just sort of tired and heavy. You know, singing has always been a way that I. It's such a positive outlet and just a way of reminding me of who God is and, you know, you know, my connection to him, it's just grounds me and helps me to center myself back on what is most important, especially when so much seems like it's out of our control. So that was my. A part of my self care this week, having the opportunity to participate in the throwback concert with Chantillery unchanged. There will be some things posted on social media if you guys want to check it out, but it was a good time, you know, putting on a black dress and stuff, singing alto for a little while. It may not work for a lot of people, but it certainly worked for me to help me sort of work through some of the brain fog and just sort of mental dissonance that sort of has come with, you know, negotiating such unprecedented, unprecedentedly terrible times.

[Jade]

Sister. Because they're gross.

[Kia]

Yes. Yeah.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

No.

[Jade]

And you sounded incredible doing it, per usual. I do have a question. Were you wearing your flat shoes that that lady said altos wear?

[Kia]

No. As you will watch, as you will see on the videos post, you will see the shoes that I have on as an alto, and hopefully that will demonstrate how absolutely false that lady's video was regarding.

[Jade]

I thought that was hilarious. I was like, the girls are about to be insane because I immediately thought of you. I was like, well, Key is an alto and she don't wear a single shoe like that. So, I mean, now I would. I would like to bless propaganda, if you don't mind one moment. Okay. Me, I'm all seeing what knowing oh mighty ever showing For I am oh, wow. Yeah, yeah, I am.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Jade]

That was Dr. Kia, okay, up there singing for her supper. That was incredible. Your voice. Every time I hear your voice, it sends me to a place. It does.

[Kia]

I'm just grateful. I'm very grateful. It was such a flex. The song that I got to sing was called I Am God. And it just felt like, you know, we don't oftentimes have the opportunity to sit with and Sit in, you know, the Godness of God, right? And all these people that feel like they're in charge, it's just a reminder. Like, excuse me, excuse me. God is God. I don't know who you think you're talking to or messing with, but God is God. And I don't care how much God, how much money you have or how much influence you have, but God is God. Are y', all, Are y' all dumb? But yes. So it was encouraging in its own way to be like God was saying like, okay, like you, y' all forgetting who I am though. Like, I know these people is out here running crazy, but I am God. And I'm like, bet I'm singing a song like, you know what?

[Jade]

You are God.

[Kia]

And I'm kidding. I'm kidding for not believing that.

[Jade]

I mean, excuse me, I'm sorry. I'm still laughing at God is God and are y' all dumb?

[Kia]

Yes. Because that's really like in my mind, that's how God talks. God's like, are y' all dumb? Hello, I am God. Are you okay?

[Jade]

Right?

[Kia]

Do you get it? Do you get it? Y' all are not listening. I mean, it's a listening that has to happen here. You're missing it.

[Jade]

Are you dumb?

[Kia]

Are you dumb? Are you stupid? Yeah, it's like I might be a little bit of both. But I appreciate your patience.

[Jade]

Yes and yes, but also yes and yes. But thank you for your patience with me.

[Kia]

Okay. All right.

[Jade]

Continue to send your self cares, your shout outs and your. I know that's right. You know, shouting out yourself to hello at getting grown Co. We would love to hear from you see what you all are celebrating yourselves about this week. And with that being said, we're gonna close this out on a normal note. Heading to the petty beeves. What's getting on your as we usually do.

[Kia]

Absolutely. Let's get right to the myth.

[Jade]

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[Kia]

Change your receipt did the sausage McMuffin with egg extra value meal includes a hash brown and a small coffee for just $5 only at McDonald's for a limited time.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Prices and participation may vary and I.

[Jade]

Want to be very responsible of the things I say to my sister because.

[Kia]

Everybody know I can be real petty.

[Jade]

PE to the tty honey. All right it's time to close out these petty peeves. And mine is very small and petty this week, but still remains true. I don't know if I've ever said it before. You know this. And this also might be very New York City specific, but okay, come the morning time, actually not even just morning time, anytime, if you are sitting in your vehicle taking up a parking spot and you know you're getting ready to leave, but you're not ready to leave yet, pull your ass by a hydrant or somewhere else and stop wasting a parking spot. Nothing irritates me more. I love people when I'll roll the window down and say, are you leaving? And they'll say, yes, give me just a second. Or they'll be like, you know what? Like it's going to take me a minute, so I'm going to pull up here so you can have the spot. I do that to people as well. Do not be the. Who knows? You're sitting in your car and you're still going to take up a perfectly good parking space. I just am. Really. My patience has gotten thin ner, you know what I'm saying? As time goes on and it's growing extraordinarily thin with thoughtless people who, who cannot just think out of themselves for five seconds. Like there's enough nastiness in this world. Please don't contribute to it with your aloofness as well. You know what I'm saying? So I just, I just. This is for self centered people. Specifically self centered in vehicles. There's a special place for you in middle earth. Oh, and also, do I want to do that now? No, it's them every day at this point. But RFK Jr. Oh, Christ. When I tell you that I. I say a specific downfall prayer for you. Like I say like, like hands pointed. I say a spirit specific prayer for you in your nasty voice. Is it emphysema? What is it? I. I just. That is. That's it.

[Kia]

Hatred. That is. That is hatred.

[Jade]

You know, that's hatred in vocal cords. You're right.

[Kia]

It's made hatred made manifest in his vocal cords. Is that.

[Jade]

That's what it is. I know we said we're not going to give them too much and I'm not going to give them too much, but I do want you to know that they're. There's a. There's a special place that I have carved out for you through my prayers that I know make it. My prayers make it. So just so you know what you got.

[Kia]

Similarly, so I know that Today, in the DMV or in D.C. the Black Lives Matter mural was removed from 16th Street. And so, of course, it was. Right? So, like, there. There are those of us who are not necessarily surprised by this, but I just also want to sort of add. I've heard influencers, Preston Mitchum, others have been talking about it. So it's like, you know, just wanted to amplify that. You know, I want the record to reflect that. We. We never asked for a Black Lives Matter mural. We didn't ask for y' all to write it on the street. We asked for changes in policy. We asked for changes in systems. We asked for structures. And so that's one of the things that we can attribute to performative changes that have been made just to demonstrate some progress or in addressing the symptoms of a problem versus the structures or the str. Structural and systemic inequities that call for, you know, that at the root of those symptoms. And so, you know, this is just a reminder. I know that y' all meant this for evil and meant this to be evil, but I honestly feel like it is a reminder for those of us who are committed to continuing to fight for justice and to fight for the kind of change, the actual transformative, radical, deep systemic structural change that we need in a lot of our governmental entities. And I know y' all meant this to sort of be some sort of indication of right, that, you know, you're going to get your way. But. But I feel like it does nothing but galvanize us to continue to fight for the change that we seek, to continue to represent the kind of justice that we know that we deserve, that we, as people of color are worthy of and have been long. Has been long overdue, the same fight that our ancestors had to fight. We are now in the position to continue the fight. And like you said, sis, like, you know, we will be challenged, but we are ready.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And we will continue to speak truth to power. We will continue to advance, you know, our impact in the ways that are fruitful and our resulting indifference. You know, don't allow the rhetoric to make you feel like what we're doing isn't working. It actually is, which is why, you know, those who are on the opposite side of the causes that we are fighting for are scrambling and doing all that they can. So we just have to continue to persist on. So, you know, I know this is an unconventional, petty peeve, but I just thought it pertinent.

[Jade]

No, very much so.

[Kia]

To remind us of what is most important, what our priority is. And will continue to be here getting. Getting grown. So listen, y' all can change. You know, take the. We didn't ask for that. You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

We asked that.

[Kia]

So we are not losing sleep over that.

[Jade]

No.

[Kia]

Well, we will continue to, you know, do the work that we've been doing. And that's just that. On that.

[Jade]

Yeah. Like you said, radical. Realizing I did laugh at the meme where they were like, Democrats right now, and it's Spice Girls talking about, stop right now. Thank you very much. Like. Like, get this. Get this ninny out of here. Okay? I need you all to scream from the mountaintops, because this is ridiculous. And. And like you said, it's a street. Ain't nobody getting ready to cry over a street.

[Kia]

And we wasn't worried about that. And also, shout out to the black influencers that were invited by the DNC to cover the State of the Union. And although they were invited, they were not given assignments, but the Congressional Black Caucus stepped in to help amplify the work. That there are black legislators, black congressmen, and women who are doing things to affect actual change. And they would have you to believe that that's not happening. But that is a lie.

[Jade]

Oh, people are fighting. They're fighting.

[Kia]

Yeah, absolutely. And so are we. So listen, rewrite. I mean, paint over it. Do whatever you gotta do on the street, girl, that. We. Not really worried about that. Okay.

[Jade]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kia]

You know, we will continue to file these cases. We will continue to sign these petitions. We will. Will continue to advance the truth in face of all of the misinformation and disinformation. We know what we doing, and y' all can carry on.

[Jade]

Yeah, pretty much. And my last thing. How stupid do you feel, Snoop? I just wonder. Anyway, thank you all for listening to another episode of Getting Grow.

[Kia]

Yes, indeed. Thank you so much.

[Jade]

Thank you to Dr. Wendy for showing up for the third time. Can't wait to have you back. Talk soon. And make sure you all check out all the links in the description box for all of the things that Dr. Wendy mentioned, from different lube recommendations to what she is working on. How exciting. We are so excited to support. So thank you for showing everybody at the kitchen table, every bottom near you.

[Kia]

Coming to the bottom near you.

[Jade]

Insert childish giggles. And with that being said, sis, take them out. Tell them what to do.

[Kia]

Absolutely. Make sure that you are taking care of yourself, your mental health, your emotional wellness by minding the business that is yours and yours alone. Prioritize that. That's how you keep your mind moisturized and supple. You also want to do that for all your insides. And you do so by drinking just as much water as your body can sustain, which is actually probably more than you think. So drink up. And finally, you want to moisturize your largest organ, which is your skin. Tell them why, sis.

[Jade]

Because your blackola will crackle if it's dry.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Bye.

[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

Bye.

[Kia]

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[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

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[Kia]

No.

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[Jade]

Please confirm your billing.

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[Dr. Wendy McDonald]

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