Jade (3:07)

How you doing, sis? What's going on?

Akia (3:10)

Oh, you know, I was telling XD the other day, spring really awakens like it awakens everything and o so many things, so many things at once and. But it awakens everything outside and you start getting busy and you don't even realize why you getting busy. So, you know, I'm good. I've. I've gotten together with my community. I think there's much going on all over the place. I did my first class. All right.

Jade (3:42)

How, how is it going, sister?

Akia (3:44)

Oh, sister.

Jade (3:45)

It was educated.

Akia (3:48)

Yeah. Oh, the first class was lovely.

Jade (3:50)

Good.

Akia (3:52)

I have mostly, I think fifth and sixth graders.

Jade (3:54)

Okay.

Akia (3:55)

Sixth grade girls. And they're very excited, which is really. I didn't know if I was going to get angsty middle school energy, but no, they're like at that age where they're still hyped to do stuff, which is nice. And so I'm really excited to see what they develop. And then I child I got one eighth grader.

Function Health Advertiser (4:16)

One.

Akia (4:18)

And not only is she an eighth grader, which that age, even though the years, it's not that many years that particular time of life, it seems like such a big difference, you know, between the fifth grade, fifth graders and the eighth graders. But this eighth grader is an introspective thinker.

Jade (4:35)

Okay, okay.

Akia (4:37)

Oh, she's a deep thinker, honey.

Jade (4:39)

Oh, we love that.

Akia (4:41)

And I think she's contending with much of reflected in life. Yeah, she's a very reflective 14 year old.

Jade (4:48)

I love this.

Akia (4:50)

So she, you know, we're asking each other different questions, getting started in some warm ups. And so, you know, they were, we did, we did like a write down three questions to ask somebody. So, you know, I kept it light. These are fifth and sixth graders for the most part. What's your favorite food? You know, my girl came up to me and said, do you have any religious beliefs? I was like, yeah.

Lillian Prince (5:12)

Really?

Akia (5:14)

Let's talk, little sister. You want to chat? And she wanted to chat. She was really like, she was ready to get into conversation. She's like, my pastor said, the priest at my church said, come on. That you know, he was speaking negatively about abortions. And I just don't think a man should be speaking on a woman's body.

Jade (5:33)

I know, that's right.

Akia (5:34)

And I was like, oh, we're about to talk girlfriends.

Jade (5:38)

No, that's right.

Akia (5:39)

You know, I'm really excited to see the work that. And I want them to lead their own. You know, I just want to align them and Then let them really lead what it is they want to talk about. And so I'm so glad that, you know, this is a space to be

Function Health Advertiser (5:51)

able to do that.

Akia (5:52)

I'm really excited to see what comes. So, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm hype. It's been a good weekend. It's been a good week. I do want to make sure that I acknowledge that we are at the, at a full three year mark of the ongoing genocide in Sudan, which is being called the quote unquote silent war because there's no support, there's no support from outside resource. There's no support from, from, from the actual military that should, there's no support anywhere for anybody that will intervene on behalf of the civilians who are being deeply affected by this genocide. And, and so, you know, I just wanted to acknowledge that we're at three years in and that our Sudanese brothers and sisters are not forgotten.

Jade (6:44)

Right.

Akia (6:44)

Just know that you are constantly at the top of our minds and our hearts and the state of the world is just really bringing great grief to everyone. And so I just, you know, people don't want to be forgotten and I want to make sure that that is acknowledged. But how was your week? How are you feeling?

Jade (7:03)

I'm doing okay, sis. You know, I was, as we were chatting just before we started recording, like, you know, there's just a lot happening, swirling around and you know, like our, like our little niece, our little 8th grader niece in your class, like, you know, I too am in a very reflective space and I'm just trying to lean into it. I think, I think we all should. I think there is a lot of value in sort of reflecting and thinking about your thoughts and why you think them, what informs them. We should be interrogating. We should be interrogating our thoughts. I think that's important and very like inherent to our growth and development. Making sure that we are developing into the people who we say we want to be. And so I'm leaning into that. It is hard work, but it's necessary work. And so I'm, and I am, I'm getting a lot out of, you know, spending time with myself and really getting to know myself in that way and healing different parts of, of of of my relationship with myself. And so I'm grateful and you know, I, I'm safe, I have what I need. And we're just moving through one, one day at a time. That's, that's where we are for sure.

Akia (8:21)

We literally, we physically can't do anything

Jade (8:24)

else quite Literally quite.

Akia (8:29)

We physically cannot do a single thing.

Jade (8:31)

Oh, absolutely.

Akia (8:32)

If, if I may really quickly again, I've said it. Thank you all so much to those who have donated toward, you know, my little babies who need to get to their mother. I know I gave you all an update that she was released. And so, you know, we've just been trying to, trying to get her the resources to set up shop so they can officially get over there paperwork. It's almost about wrapped up. So if you've got $5, $10, please feel free to send it to the PayPal link attached in the description box. It goes directly to me and I sent and I. It is going directly to them, to the resources to get the babies home. But we are almost there and so thank you all. Thank you for everybody who has sent

Function Health Advertiser (9:19)

whatever you can when, when you've been

Akia (9:21)

able to do so. I know there's a lot going on and economically we're in a funny place. So, you know, we're grateful for, for a dollar, truly. But you know, we have been trying to balance out the conversations. Yeah, right. Last week we played a game that led to really intentional conversation and intentional connection. And this week we are going to intentionally connect in a very classic way that I pray never goes extinct. So come sit with us at the kitchen table as we welcome Lily and Prince. Yeah. And have a beautiful conversation around greeting cards and so much more.

Jade (10:02)

It's going to be a good one, y'.

Akia (10:04)

All.

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Akia (11:13)

Good.

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Jade (11:45)

All right. Welcome back. Welcome blacks. We always say this, but we always mean it. We have the very best guest on Getting Grown ever known to man. And we, you know, we're just gonna keep up with the, the great tradition of wonderful people joining us in conversation today. We are blessed to welcome Lillian Princess to the kitchen table. Lillian is a, you know, one of my good, good girlfriends. But she's also a wife, mother, and proud graduate of the national treasure Morgan State University, where she earned her degree in English with a concentration in journalism. She was born and raised here in Washington, D.C. or in the DMV in Temple Hills, Maryland. And she has always had a passion for storytelling, building genuine connections, and creating spaces of joy through smiles and laughter. In 2016, she wrote a book. And that's when I met her. Okay. We was both on a panel and she was talking about her book. And, you know, we was just down to the. We were, we were panelists. But her book is called ten Days Later, Amazon Bestseller position her as a fresh and relatable voice in modern dating. Her writing has been featured in the Baltimore Afro Washington Business Journal, Sister to Sister magazine, More recently on essence.com in May 2022, her widely shared article, divorce is Not a Dirty Word was featured, like I said on Amazon.com further amplifying her voice on empowerment, healing, and authenticity. She's been highlighted by other digital outlets, including the Huffington Post, as a millennial dating expert, and has also appeared on numerous television programs including WJLA's Let's Talk Live, WUSA's Great Day Washington, and Fox 5's Weekend Update. Her voice and insight have been heard on radio shows like the Daily Drum with Harold Fisher and the Fam in the Morning. Beyond her work as an author and writer, she's also a certified mediator who deeply understands the importance of mending relationships and fostering healthy communication. And these values influence every card and message that she creates through Pin Perfection, a new greeting card line that we're going to talk a little bit about where she merges her gift for words with her belief in the connection to craft cards that speak directly to the heart. Everyone, welcome my good, good girlfriend, Lillian Prince, to the kitchen table. Hey, Lil.

Lillian Prince (14:05)

Hi.

Jade (14:07)

How are you, darling?

Akia (14:08)

Welcome, Lillian.

Lillian Prince (14:09)

So happy to be down to the kitchen table. This feels so good.

Jade (14:14)

Absolutely. We love you here.

Akia (14:16)

We're so happy to have you. We love you here with your beautiful smile.

Jade (14:19)

Okay.

Akia (14:21)

Right. She just came. You just came in all radiant, Lillian. Me, Me, audience. I came in like a Tasmanian devil. But that was quickly switched because Lillian's demeanor is so lovely and warm, and it's evident through the work that you do.

Jade (14:37)

Absolutely.

Lillian Prince (14:37)

Thank you. Thank you. Yes.

Akia (14:41)

Now, communication, because this is. This is all relationship based. We got dating. We've got the greeting cards. We've got all of these things. I'd love to hear the start of your journey, like how you got into this and why this is the focus. Why, why? Relationships, interpersonal relationships seem to show up in every aspect of your work. So please, take us on your journey first and tell us how you got started and all of that.

Lillian Prince (15:08)

So, yeah, when I was a student at Morgan State, I remember I was, like, going on all of these dates, and they were just so outrageous, like always. And it was one of those where I would feel like, am I the only person going through. I cannot be the only person that's having these sorts of experiences. But when people don't really talk about it, you feel like you're on an island alone, like, meeting all of these very ridiculous people. And so I will always, like, recap the stories telling all my girlfriends. And it was like, you should really write a book. And I've always loved to write. And so writing the book was always my goal. Always. I just wanted to write this book. And I remember when I first started thinking about the book, I was going to be called, like, 100 dates later, and then 25 dates later. And then it was like, you know, something that's manageable. So it became ten dates later, and I wrote it. But when I first started writing the book, I remember saying that I wanted the last chapter to be a continuation to just. So I didn't want it to be this happily ever after. I didn't want it to be this thing where, like, everything sort of just worked out perfectly in the end, because that's not everyone's story, and I wanted something that everyone could relate to. Well, at the time, I was, like, dating someone and we got engaged. And so to be authentic and to be true, I ended the book with this, like, sort of like, this happily ever after. And, you know, When I would promote the book, that's what it was all about. It was, like, bad dates, and then it's happily ever after. And then shortly after that, I found myself getting a divorce, right? And so I felt. I remember going through a phase of really feeling, like, just being sort of fake, right? Because I've been so open and honest about this happily ever after and how beautiful that looked. And I was. I felt like I needed to give people an update. Like, this is actually where I am now. And so that's where the article for ESSENCE came in. I really just wrote it up. And after I wrote the article, then I started looking for resources. I kept trying to find somebody at essence. Like, I wanted it to be on essence, in essence. And, you know, I was blessed to, like, have a friend who, like, used to know someone who used to work with somebody who had a cousin. Like, it just all sort of worked out. I got a contact. I sent the article over. And I want to say, I don't think. I don't think I'm exaggerating, but I feel like the next day they wrote me back and were like, we're going to run this next week. And so the article was just very, very honest. It was very, like, open. It was honest. I shared the, like, embarrassment that I went through, you know, just having to come back out to, like, share this update. It also, you know, tied in a lot of my upbringing, like, growing up in church where. And that's where the title came from, because it was like, divorce was just as bad as murdering somebody. So it was just like having to fight through all of that and essentially just choose myself. And again, the same response that I got with the book, which was, like, when you put it out there and you say, these are some of the things that I'm going through, so many other women are like, oh, my God, I've got a story, too. This has happened to me. And so it was the same thing. Even with the articles, so many women reached out to me and were like, I've had the same experience. I felt this guilt. I felt this shame. I grew up in the church. It was just all of these things. And so even leading up to Pen, to perfection, I had the same thought of, like, when my friend is going through loss, and I send her a message, a very intentional message of how I hope she's doing and her healing, there's somebody else who probably needs the exact same message. And so even, you know, with the. Because the line has a lot of, like, girlfriend, friendship sort of cards it's like everybody probably can. There are a lot of women who can relate to this and who will be able to, you know, just understand the messages, understand lingo and things. And so, yeah, that's always been, I think, the piece that kind of ties these. Ties all of these projects together. Just having this, like, understanding that in some shape, form, or fashion, we're all going through a lot of the same experiences, whether you share it or not. And so with that, these pieces of, like, almost like artwork that I create are things that people can all relate to, and they become, you know, talking points. And like, yes, I've been there. Yes, I dated a terrible man. Yes, I've been on an awful date. Yes, somebody has pretended to not have their wallet when we've been out. You know what I mean? Like, all of these things and stuff. It's just always a way to start a conversation, to show how we are all the same. We're all going through the same things, and we can all relate to each other and help each other. And this is how I got through it.

Jade (20:23)

You know, I love the radical, radical authenticity and, like, building community and connection, like, right there at. At those, you know, transparent moments where we're willing to share. You know, this is what I plan, but this is what happened is exactly. I think you're right. It is exactly what sort of connects the dots between all of the ways in which your work shows up. Tell us a little bit about pen perfection. Pen to perfection as the greeting card line. Because I just think it's so cool, right? Because I think in this time where it feels like all kinds of communication is being pushed toward, like, digital and us connecting through technology, I think, you know, sort of bringing back things like greeting cards feels very necessary. And I just. I just absolutely. Talk to us a little bit about, you know, what pen perfection is and why you chose to do this right now.

Lillian Prince (21:25)

So I am a words of affirmation girly. Like, I love a good note. I mean, in college, me and one of my best friends, Jillian, we were writing notes to each other. I mean, and we were in class together. We just passing these notes. I love a written note, a thoughtful card. And I've always been that person that, like, I'm gonna find the perfect card. Like, I would stay in the car store all day to make sure I get the right card. And so there've been a few instances where I couldn't find the right card. So I would just write something. I would write something, and sometimes I would post it on Facebook, whatever And so that became my thing. I would write all of these very intentional. And I would call them love letters to my friends. I would write these love letters to them on their birthday or whatever. And a few people would kind of make a joke and be like, you should do cards or something. And I don't know, when they first said it, it just seemed so crazy, so far out of reach that I didn't even really consider it. Well, I'm a government employee and a lot of things shifted last year. And so I remember that was the first time that, you know, after coming, like 16, 17 years of working in the government, that my good government job didn't feel like a good government job.

Jade (22:46)

Legit.

Lillian Prince (22:46)

Okay.

Akia (22:47)

Did we ever think we would see the day

Lillian Prince (22:51)

that was all you? I mean, that's all that was drilled. Especially growing up in the dmv, Most of our parents were working in the federal government. And so it was always just sort of like, that's what you did. You graduated high school, you went to college, and you came right back home, you got you a good government job. And I remember being so. Just feeling so uneasy last year and just like, I need something else. And so I prayed about it. I was like, God, I want you to give me something that I really want to do, like, but I want it to be something that I'm going to enjoy and something that I want to pour into. Because sometimes you can. You can start a side hustle just for the sake of money, but you're not really driven to it, right? So I'm like, I need something that if it keeps me up to 2, 3 o' clock in the morning, but I'm doing it because I love to do it. And so the greeting cards just came to me. And so I was like, okay, but I need mine. There are a million greeting cards. I need something that's going to make mine stand out. So the first thing I said is that I wanted them to touch on topics that you don't normally see in stores. And so there are a lot of cards that are about mending relationships. Like, if you haven't talked to your girlfriend, you've had a falling out with your best friend. And, you know, sometimes distance and that time away from each other just creates a bigger issue than it actually is. And it's like you have a card that's saying, like, let's just have a talk, like, something has happened here. I'm not sure what I did. You may not know what you did, but let's just have a conversation and So I sort of, like, I do the hard work for you. I feel like I kind of say what's really on your heart, but it's just sometimes hard to get out. So in addition to doing, like, these very, like, you know, the topics that you don't normally see in the store, I wanted to add this musical element. So on the back of each card, there's a QR code. I mean, I love this so much. On the back of each card, there's a QR code that goes to a playlist of songs. And so each card has its own individual playlist. It's like three to five songs. And so if it's an apology card, you know, the first thing you're gonna hear is Anita Baker. I apologize. I mean, you know, if it's a birthday card, I'm gonna get you the Stevie version.

Jade (25:16)

Yeah, yeah.

Lillian Prince (25:17)

Playlist. So it's just. It's so good. So I think it kind of like. Just like you were saying, kind of going back into, like, giving hard cards, but there's also this, like, digital element.

Jade (25:29)

Digital element.

Lillian Prince (25:31)

It's like new Y. And so. So, yeah, on the back of each car, I'll show you one. This is what. This is from the Mother's Day line. And it says. It says, mom, I finally understand. And so this card is really about that moment that I think a lot of, if not all adults have when you're like, you know what? I finally get it. Like, I just say, and it's not even saying that I 100% agree with everything you've done, but I understand, because I'm an adult. Not enough now about Grace. And it's not even, you know, and sometimes that comes from having your own children, and sometimes that just comes from living life. But it's just like a thank you card. Like, thank you for all you've done. I finally get it. You know what I mean? Like, I finally, at that point. And then when you scan the QR code, there's a really good. There's a song by the Spice Girl that's called Mama. And it talks about that of just, like, growing up, I didn't quite understand. I didn't quite, you know, get your vision, but I get it now. And so, like, all the songs that go for that song that on this playlist are just, like, perfect for the message.

Akia (26:45)

I just love a greeting card. Like, I. I agree. I feel like this is something that should never fully go out of practice. I remember, and you all will remember, especially being elder millennials, when they started expanding Greeting cards more. We got mahogany.

Lillian Prince (27:00)

Yeah.

Akia (27:00)

You know, so we got the mahogany line. And it was always some flowy cursive. It looks like your auntie's house who has rocks in her sink. But it was not relatable to us. You know what I'm saying? It was not our demographic. No, it was not our demographic. It was such a small section in the CBS or the Duway Reade or whatever the case is. Then they expanded. We got Papyrus.

Jade (27:22)

Yes.

Akia (27:23)

You know what I'm saying? Well, we got a little bit better. You get a little song inside. I love the intention and what you've done and also how you've brought communication and language back within this modality that's also getting lost a little bit. But shouldn't. Right. Because think about the way that, like you said, if there is a card, we're in a funny space. Right. You said a text message. You can't read a tone. People not always picking up the phone. But giving a card allows that space and disarms somebody to be able to have a productive conversation. So I love. I love what you're doing. What were you about to say, sis?

Jade (28:03)

Yeah. I also feel like the playlists serve, like, multiple purposes to me, because not only do they align with the messaging and just sort of add to that feel good aspect of, like, getting a card, but also, to your point, sis, if the car is about, you know, trying to. To reconnect to someone who you haven't connected with in a while or reconnect around something that's challenging or difficult, the playlist is like a good buffer. Right. So it's like. It's like, oh, my God, don't you love this song? Like, it could be. It could. It could help. Right? You know, because, you know, it's just like, honestly, like, it could be hard to. When you want to. You want to have a productive conversation, you're not sure how it's going to go. The playlist can be something that connects, and I think it's so core not only to us as black people, because, you know, music has always been, you know, a way that we express ourselves emotionally. But I also feel like, as black millennials, that's something that's very core to our generation. And I just think it is so important, particularly since we are not connecting or communicating in productive ways. Like, it feels like all the. All of the. There's lots of commentary and talking at each other, but it's not enough talking. Like, meaningful communication and our relationships are suffering as a result.

Lillian Prince (29:37)

Absolutely.

Jade (29:39)

In many ways. So I just think what this is is just really useful because we are. We are losing that muscle naturally.

Lillian Prince (29:52)

Yeah. Yeah.

Akia (29:54)

Also, niggas can't write anymore. That's another thing. Reading, literacy, you know what I'm saying? Like, I start writing and my hand starts cramping. Seven seconds. It's so ugly. And so it's just, you know, to be able to get something from somebody with their handwriting, like, there's just something. There's just a personal element to that. I do have a question for you, Lillian.

Lillian Prince (30:16)

Okay.

Akia (30:16)

What? So, again, we know that our. Our. Our greeting card selection was limited before, right? We got sympathy anniversary boy, girl, you know, like, very generic things. But yours, you've got. I'm not one of your little friends. And the beautiful Mother's Day card that you just showed us, tell us more about your process in creating each card. What is it that gets you going? How do you get your ideas going on what you want to put into a card? Because there's such a diverse array of them.

Lillian Prince (30:53)

Yeah, I think for me, some of it is I create cards that I need cards that say the thing that I wasn't able to say or I didn't have the nerve to say. I saw a post on Instagram the other day that was like, you know, I've lived a lot of lives. You just had to be there. And I feel that for myself, right? Like, to be in the space that I'm in now, like, 10, 15 years ago, it looked completely different. And so thinking about how I felt when I got divorced, right? And somebody would ask, and I would say, I'm getting divorced. And they're like, oh, my God. God, I'm so sorry. And I'm like, oh, no, no, no, it's fine.

Jade (31:35)

I'm not sorry.

Akia (31:37)

Yeah, right? Like, why would you say that to me? Say sorry to that nigga? He lost out.

Jade (31:46)

But, like.

Lillian Prince (31:47)

And so that is why I created the card that says congratulations. Right? And so some people, that can be a little taboo, but it's like, no. For anyone to be brave enough to walk away, to start over, you deserve a congratulations. I just think about, you know, I have been blessed with a lot of, like, amazing, amazing girlfriends, a lot of just very good intentional relationships and friendships and even just knowing some of their stories, right? And just thinking of, like, maybe the card shouldn't have come from me, but, you know, they've been through something where this would have been really appropriate. And so just just pulling from real life, you know what I mean? Just, like, real scenarios. There's a card that's coming out that's about starting over in a relationship after trust has been broken. So whether that is. And seeing that is something that people don't always talk about. Right. Because you know, a lot of hot takes is always if he messed up. So I'm done. I'm not. Right. But that's not always what people want. Sometimes there's a situation where you're like, okay, well let's try to figure this out. And the title of the card is I deserve better from. I deserve better from you. And so it still holds the person accountable. It's not, we're not waltzing over, right? We're not just saying, oh, it's fine. It's like, no, I deserve better. But I recognize that I still want to work on this. And so that's not a card that you will see normally. Right. And then there's this one. There's like, can we try again? And it's a gentleman holding a large bouquet of bouquet. Yeah. And who knows what this man did? But I mean, okay, I'm trying to help. I'm trying to help. I ran to a lady, I was on a pop up and this lady, she came up to me, beautiful lady. And she was like, I need you to make a card that says, I'm sorry because I. And I was like, girl, I don't even know what happened and I know it's not your fault. So we not.

Jade (34:01)

Yeah, girl.

Lillian Prince (34:04)

She's like, yeah. I'm like, girl, no, but, but I was just kidding. I'm going to make the card. But I do, I like to take from very real situations. And it's not always the situations that people talk about that you, you know what I mean? Again, it's not something that you would. Yeah, but these things are happening and people are trying to figure out a way to navigate through it. And it's like, yeah, right. Everything has become these short text messages and you know, yeah, sometimes. And she's like, okay, read this. Because I think, I think he said. And I'm like, why didn't. I didn't, I didn't get that talk, you know?

Jade (34:46)

Yeah.

Akia (34:47)

Also why are we communicating these very difficult things with our thumbs? No, it's.

Jade (34:53)

I hate it so much. I had to, I had to have that conversation in my family, you know, we negotiated like all the post loss administrative things in the group chat and I'm like, hello, we don't need to be discussing this in here. Like, can we, can we actually like talk? So I just feel like, you know, I think you're. You're spot on. And that's why I feel like this is so, so good. And for that lady, I mean, you should call that car. I don't typically apologize to niggas, but. But also, I would say I was just. I think one of my favorite cars from the line, you know, was a part of the Christmas holiday.

Lillian Prince (35:34)

Okay.

Jade (35:35)

Ask someone who has and for whom the holidays are a challenging time. It was a card for me to give my friends to say, I know I haven't been around a lot, or I know I get missing at this time. I know this is a hard season for me, but thank you for always showing up. Even though I don't answer the phone. Like, you know, like. Like that. That car. I was. I bought. I bought at the. I was at the Pop Up. I was like, give me five of these, because I. Cause this is the one I need to be sending around.

Lillian Prince (36:10)

So I got some messages with that card. Someone reached out because it says Merry Christmas, I believe, at the end of it. And she was like, but I need this card now. I was like, you know what? Maybe I'll do a reprint. So seasonal focus, because it is just one of those things. Like, and that's what I've come across a lot with the cards. And as I'm. You know, we just launched in December, so I'm growing. I'm. I'm learning. Oh, we're blue new.

Jade (36:39)

Yeah.

Lillian Prince (36:39)

And so I'm, like, a lot of the cards that are specific to a holiday could actually be used year round.

Jade (36:48)

Year round.

Lillian Prince (36:49)

So I'm trying to figure out a way to make that work. Like, print some that actually have Valentine's Day and Christmas, but then the same card without the specific holiday, so that it can be, you know, used all year. So, yeah, I love that.

Akia (37:04)

I want to go back a little bit, actually. I want to talk more about the cards, but I want to go back a little bit to this millennial dating. I'd love to hear some of your worst dating stories.

Jade (37:19)

Story time.

Akia (37:22)

I think everybody should tell one.

Jade (37:25)

Okay.

Akia (37:26)

No, but me. I love everything you do. Lillian, is rooted in some vulnerability.

Lillian Prince (37:33)

Right.

Akia (37:33)

In expression. And I think it's so wonderful for us, especially for. For our particular generation. Because it wasn't always modeled, Right.

Jade (37:42)

Yeah.

Akia (37:42)

That doesn't mean nobody ever had it, but for the most part, we know.

Jade (37:45)

Yeah.

Lillian Prince (37:46)

We.

Akia (37:46)

It wasn't. That vulnerability was not modeled for us. Hence that very narrow selection of. Of cards. Because people were not talking about the things.

Lillian Prince (37:54)

Yes.

Akia (37:55)

That they needed to be talking about out of shame.

Jade (37:56)

Yes.

Akia (37:57)

So I love that you're taking all of the things that, like we've been told are not things you discuss in public, and you're bringing them to the forefront in ways where you're like, no, let's all discuss. Because I'm an English major and words mean fucking things. And you.

Jade (38:13)

So. That's right.

Akia (38:15)

I want to go back to that and some of your inspiration. Were your dates that bad that had you writing this book? Like, I want to know. I want to know this. I want to hear the inspiration.

Lillian Prince (38:27)

They were so awful. And I mean, again, I would be like this. There's no way I'm the only person. Like, unless there's something truly wrong with me. There's no way that I'm the only person. But I remember the. The one that I open the book with. So the book. Each. Each chapter is the age that I was when the. Okay. Chapter 19 doesn't start at chapter one.

Akia (38:53)

Okay.

Lillian Prince (38:54)

So it was when I was. Oh, my gosh. Even as I'm thinking about my girl. You knew better. Okay. I was 19, and I was working at bank of America. And this gentleman came in. He had no bank account. That is a sign. But he had no bank account.

Jade (39:14)

My gracious God.

Lillian Prince (39:16)

And so he had the bank, though.

Jade (39:18)

Okay, what's up?

Lillian Prince (39:20)

Identification. To get his. His, you know, check cash or whatever. And I remember he comes to my window and I cannot remember how much the check was. But I mean, keep in mind, like, we're. I'm 19, so, like, I probably don't even know what a lot of money is, but I remember the check was.

Akia (39:36)

It was about 237.

Lillian Prince (39:37)

Yeah, like something like he came to

Jade (39:40)

the bank to get the check cash. Not to open account. He came to the bank to get the check cash, and that tells not to open it account. I just. I don't want us to glaze past that. Please continue.

Lillian Prince (39:49)

I remember him saying at the window, like, you know, this just my little part time. You know what I'm saying? Okay. I'm like, okay, look at me, 19 and silly.

Jade (40:03)

I see you. Okay.

Lillian Prince (40:08)

I see you. Part time money, part time.

Jade (40:12)

Okay.

Akia (40:12)

Side hustle.

Lillian Prince (40:14)

What this man was living off of. But okay. At 19, I'm like, okay, so. And I hate to say this, this man. Not all men have a Napoleon complex. This man had a severe Napoleon complex, right? So we sold.

Jade (40:31)

Okay, so he was a short king. He was a short king.

Lillian Prince (40:35)

So we go. My God, we go to the movie and when we walk in the Movie. There's. I remember it. Oh, gosh. They were like three gentlemen, three friends that were together, average height, right? And they're like. They must have, like, looked over at us or something. And I remember he's like, I don't know what the they over there looking at. I don't know what they.

Jade (40:58)

Oh, okay, okay.

Lillian Prince (41:02)

All right.

Akia (41:04)

Type down Tiny Tim. Nobody has tiny.

Jade (41:06)

Okay? Relax.

Akia (41:07)

Antics in public.

Lillian Prince (41:10)

I'm like, okay, let's just do that. And so first off, he will pluck you across this. That is not it. So get into the movie. Oh, my gosh. We get into the movie. We went to see Jim Carrey song with Dick and Jane. Oh, I believe this is what we went. Went to see. So we're sitting in the movie, and there's a like, two white young girls and their dad. They're sitting in front of us watching the movie. So as I'm like, paying attention to the movie, but I see her. I see the young girl in front of me. Like, she turns around like a couple times. Like, she kind of just kind of like, right? And I'm like, oh, no, sweet, don't do this. And so she. She does it the first time, and then she. And she does it again. And she says the second time, she's like, can you. He's. He's kicking my seat. Because for whatever reason, this 4 foot 7 man is slouched down.

Akia (42:14)

This was swinging his legs. Cause, you know,

Jade (42:24)

because if he sat up, the feet would be swinging. That's what the problem was, okay?

Lillian Prince (42:28)

He trying to stay grounded in this movie, and you're kicking this out, girl. God. Do you know he kicked the back of that girl's chair.

Akia (42:41)

Oh, no.

Jade (42:44)

A terrorist.

Lillian Prince (42:46)

Like, she flew my teeth. And he was like, why am I getting your chair?

Jade (42:52)

I was like, I'm stunned.

Akia (42:55)

Oh.

Jade (42:57)

Oh, my God.

Akia (42:57)

A terrorist.

Jade (42:59)

I hope you got your purse and left. What did you do?

Lillian Prince (43:02)

19, baby. Stop right there.

Akia (43:04)

You were 19.

Lillian Prince (43:05)

And so he. And keep in mind. And you know what's funny? If I'm being completely honest, maybe in the book, I acted like I left, right? Because anybody with good sense has. I don't. I did not. So I remember at the end of the.

Jade (43:23)

Was she by herself?

Akia (43:25)

No, her daddy and her sister.

Lillian Prince (43:27)

She was like a girlfriend. Or maybe her sister and her dad. But I mean, they all knew that this man was so unhinged. Nobody was like, you know, okay, at the end of the movie, as people were walking out, they were all like, looking at me like, girl, run right?

Jade (43:42)

Are you okay?

Lillian Prince (43:45)

And And I. And I remember, like, when we got back in the car, I was just like, why would you do, like, why would you. Like, she don't need to be turning around saying. I'm like, oh, my God. Anyway, he took me home and that was. That was the end of that. I never talked to him.

Jade (43:58)

Thank God. Thank God.

Lillian Prince (43:59)

The bank a few more times. Obviously, the check is part time check. I would just ensure that, like, somebody else would like him. Yeah. You know, I'm like, oh, like, close my real quick. He was the worst. I don't know if I've had one.

Akia (44:22)

No, that's pretty bad.

Jade (44:23)

That's great. That's pretty.

Lillian Prince (44:25)

And I think after that is when I was like, it's time for the book. Because nobody's going to believe.

Jade (44:28)

Yeah.

Lillian Prince (44:29)

Yeah.

Akia (44:31)

Huh.

Lillian Prince (44:32)

Yeah.

Akia (44:32)

I'm trying to think of my worst dating story.

Jade (44:35)

I don't have. Okay, I got one.

Akia (44:38)

Okay.

Jade (44:39)

I think so. This was when I was still down to the apps. I think this might have been the one that got me off the apps forever.

Akia (44:49)

Okay.

Jade (44:50)

I think this is the one where I said, lord, if you get me out of this, I promise I'll never do this.

Akia (44:55)

Wait, hold on. Pause your story, sister. Okay, Lillian, as Kia is telling this story, I'm gonna give you an assignment for each of us, okay? I want a greeting card that sums up whatever Kia, synopsis.

Lillian Prince (45:09)

Okay.

Akia (45:10)

I'm gonna give you one when I'm done. And then I want one for David the gnome that you just told us. What kind of card would you create for the 19 year old in the garden? Like that. Okay.

Jade (45:23)

All right. The garden gnome.

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Jade (48:28)

Resume okay, so I had matched with this young man and he was a filmmaker or some sort like he created documentaries or something like that. And we had engaged a little bit on the apps and I think we text for a little while and he said I'm actually premiering one of my films and you know, I would love for you to come. So I'm like, okay, yeah, I would love to come and see it. So the theater was actually not far from where I was living at the time. And so I show up like okay, bet. And so, you know, we meet and you know, naturally I expect that, you know, this is someone who Lives in this area, and this is his work. So, of course, I expect that there will be other people who know him there. So I'm not tripping. It's just like, you know, there's a group. There's a group of people who are with him. And, you know, he sits. It's like a row of the theater that he has reserved. All those people are sitting. He sits, like, at the second to last seat and puts me on the end. So all them people down there, I'm like, okay, those are his friends from college, from high school, you know, his neighbors, his associates. And so there's a young lady sitting right next to him. But again, I don't pay it. No, I don't pay it no mind. You know, I speak to everyone. We watch the film. I don't even remember the film. I'm sure it was fine. But, like, throughout. Throughout the movie, you know, he's talking.

Lillian Prince (50:11)

You know, he's.

Jade (50:11)

You know, we're little. Hey, hey. You know, like, little, oh, good to see you. Good to connect. We're just sort of, like, having, like, small talk, chick chat. He's also talking to the person on the other side of him. But again, I'm not tripping because he knows her. Like, those are his people.

Lillian Prince (50:25)

Somewhere.

Jade (50:25)

I would say about. About. About two thirds through the. Through the movie, the other lady on the other side puts her hand on his knee, and I say, okay, all right. I'm still not, you know, but again, you know, the body. His body language has started to get a little uncomfortable. So I'm still playing it cool. Still watching the film. Still watching the film. By the time the film is over, I'm pretty sure I'm like, oh, she thinks that. She thinks that. She says that whoever this young lady is, is. So I'm like. So I'm like, why? Right? So I'm just like, okay. So perhaps I said, did he invite. Okay, so maybe is this not a date? Like, I'm trying to, like, so I'm in my mind, like, hmm, okay. And so I'm like, maybe it's not a date. And so maybe I'm just like, maybe he just invited me to the. To the film debut. And, you know, so I'm like, okay. So I'm thinking, after this movie is over, I'm getting the hell out of here, right? I'm just. Thank you for inviting me. I'm gonna go. He. After the film, he says, gets up, says his thank yous, comes back, grabs my hand and is like, what you doing after this And I said I was gonna head out. I'm sure you wanted to spend some time with your friends and celebrate. He's like, no, I want you to come. I want. I want you. You're my guest. At the time, I should have said, what about her? That's what I'm like. I should have asked directly, but long story, less long. He had a little after party. It was a little spot up the street. He had a little after sitch, and, you know, he is walking out holding my hand. And now the other girl is visibly upset.

Akia (52:17)

Oh, she's spawning.

Lillian Prince (52:18)

Yeah.

Jade (52:19)

And so I'm just, like, not sure. Like, okay. Like, you know, so we go to the thing, and we are. You know, it's like me and him and his friends are doing their thing, and sis is just in the corner. I mean, so mad. She's so mad. She's sweating. I mean, and I know she's sweating because at some point, her deodorant had. Had wore off. And so there was.

Akia (52:47)

And here's the thing. It's not even her fault. It's this nigga's fault. Look at her.

Jade (52:52)

I'm so. She's moving around and doing all of this, and I'm just like, sis, listen, listen. You got it. Like, I don't. You know, this is not something I have to do. I'm trying to make it clear, and I'm like, I could get on out of here, no problem. One of his friends, guys walks up to me and was like, I'm sorry that he did this to you. And I said, so it's not just me. It's not just me.

Akia (53:20)

Okay.

Jade (53:21)

He was like, no. He was like, this is wrong. This is wrong. And he said, if you want to get out of here, I will help you.

Lillian Prince (53:27)

Oh, okay.

Jade (53:31)

All right. But, you know.

Akia (53:33)

Okay. Did you. His friend.

Jade (53:34)

No, I did not.

Akia (53:36)

Okay.

Jade (53:38)

I did not. I did not. I faced him. He would have been my. Yeah, I thanked him.

Chime Advertiser (53:46)

I.

Jade (53:46)

And he literally, like. You know, he literally like, grant, because at that time, your boy had worked his way over to the other side and was talking to the girl, and she started to get. She was getting ready to get activated. She was like, on you or just. She was just.

Akia (54:02)

Oh, generally, that is what.

Jade (54:04)

That is what. That is what I believe inspired his friend to say, look, look, just go

Function Health Advertiser (54:09)

ahead and get out.

Jade (54:09)

You ready to go? Yeah, so. And he then was just like, let me walk you out, because I'm gonna make sure that I felt like she was trying to have a moment, and I just. And I was like, you know. No, I blocked him on all the things I felt like that night. Later that night, I went home, and he came to my house because he knew where I lived, what apartment building I lived in, not which apartment, because I think I walked. I think where we were was not far. And the guy actually walked me home. And so I went, oh, this is when.

Akia (54:47)

I know where you lived at the time.

Jade (54:48)

And so I'm up.

Akia (54:49)

Is this the nigga?

Jade (54:50)

No, absolutely not.

Akia (54:51)

Okay.

Jade (54:52)

And so. And so I'm upstairs, and he is like, I'm downstairs. Come see me. I'm like, no, I'm good. You know, it was nice to meet you. Congrats on your film. Have a nice life. And he kept calling, kept calling. So that's when I blocked him. But the. The worst, the terrible. Like, I'm like, okay, my first date. You have. You had asked another date to. Our first date, so what exactly would we ever have to talk to again? And so I just thank God. I don't even know where his friend is, that young man. God bless him, wherever he is.

Lillian Prince (55:25)

Yeah.

Jade (55:25)

Because otherwise, I would. And I would have been. Okay.

Lillian Prince (55:28)

Okay.

Jade (55:28)

Because I wasn't worried about. I would have. I would have handled her funky behind. I was not pressed about sis, but he saw the situation, and he. I think he saw me over there having. Because I was over there, like, what the. Like, I think he saw me over there, like, this cannot be happening. What the hell is going on? And he was like, listen, you are not crazy. He was wrong for this. Do you want to get out of here? I said, I absolutely do. I absolutely am ready to go, please. And he was like, I'll walk you out. And I said, thank you, whoever you are. I don't know who you are, but God bless you. The Lord sent an angel.

Lillian Prince (56:05)

Thank you for being decent.

Akia (56:06)

I have a greeting card on my heart. Lillian. I would love to know what greeting card you have for this.

Jade (56:12)

Well, is it a greeting card that he would send me?

Akia (56:15)

I think that's where I'm like, who would be the subject of your greeting card?

Jade (56:19)

I would send it to him, and I would say, get the hell away from me. Okay.

Lillian Prince (56:22)

What would you say? What. What about her? Maybe that would be the. As soon as you said it, I said, that's what you should say, sir, what about her?

Jade (56:32)

What about her, sir? And not you. You invited two women to the same event and sat in between them like,

Akia (56:38)

you're not even right. Like, what kind of not even. This is not even wise.

Jade (56:43)

You are not Smart.

Akia (56:44)

My greeting card would say, there's always a nigga at the nucleus, and then

Jade (56:50)

in the middle of the.

Akia (56:51)

Of the foolish. Yeah.

Jade (56:52)

Always the nucleus of the foolishness.

Akia (56:55)

The common niggas. Always the common denominator with some sort of math illustration. You know what I'm saying? Like that.

Lillian Prince (57:03)

Absolutely.

Akia (57:03)

That would be my grief very much.

Lillian Prince (57:04)

Like I said, Jay's card is much better than mine. So I'm gonna have to tag Jay.

Jade (57:09)

Oh, yeah. Because I think mine would be, are you dumb? That's what I would say on the car, right on the front. Are you dumb?

Akia (57:16)

Oh, my God.

Lillian Prince (57:16)

Are you dumb?

Akia (57:17)

You do need an hour, you dumb card.

Jade (57:18)

Are you dumb? Let's talk about this. Like, are you dumb?

Akia (57:22)

Yeah.

Jade (57:22)

Because the conversation I want to have is, why the hell would you do that? That's the conversation that I feel like would, you know, bring the necessary closure. But it was just like, sir, please, please get the hell out of my life forever.

Akia (57:42)

Oh, God bless. God bless. This is why we need to. This is why Lillian does the work that she does. It's very important.

Jade (57:48)

Okay, sis, what is your date story?

Akia (57:52)

All right, I'll get out. You all can choose your own adventure.

Jade (57:55)

All right?

Akia (57:57)

Do you want the one and only white man that I've ever gone on three dates with, or do you want the time I got ghosts and I still dealt with the nigga after Jade.

Jade (58:08)

I would have to say that I would need to know about this white man, because this is a shock to my system today. I said, this is a shock to my system.

Akia (58:18)

I know. It was a shock to mine, too. I think I was also 19, actually a theme. I went to the club. Oh, God. That was a chaotic night. That was a. Let's be very clear here. I had a man.

Jade (58:36)

Serial Cheese was outside. All right? Period.

Akia (58:39)

I was outside.

Jade (58:40)

I loved it.

Lillian Prince (58:41)

I, like.

Akia (58:41)

I was the little uptown. I was. I was having a blast in my youth. All right? So I'm. I'm out with my cousin at the club, and we're supposed to be getting on the road to go to Atlanta to drive to Atlanta.

Jade (58:59)

You went to the club the night before a road trip.

Akia (59:03)

My cousin came to the club. Okay, this is 19. Exactly. At 19. This is also. I got lost on that road trip with a MapQuest direction.

Jade (59:12)

I love it.

Akia (59:12)

That's another story for another one Paper direction. Anyway, so I'm at the club. My cousin is. She was so addicted to this, so she is just clubbing. She's all in the shape.

Jade (59:24)

Okay.

Akia (59:25)

And I'm just like, you know, we got to get on the road in a couple of hours, and I'm enjoying myself in my E and J in the corner, period. And this white boy in the club, Dan.

Jade (59:36)

Come on.

Akia (59:36)

Comes up to me in the club. I don't get hit. I. That's not my jam. I don't. Not looking for that. And I think I was more shocked by the. You know, just the whiteness of it. Yeah. And so I was like, oh, hey, are you talking. You want to have a guy?

Jade (59:50)

What?

Akia (59:50)

You talking to me? Oh, okay. All right. So we get into some conversation, and he's cool. And I was like, okay. We exchanged numbers, and then he wants to dance, so we dance a little bit. That is not his jam.

Jade (60:03)

Oh, bless you.

Akia (60:03)

So I sit back down. I was like, let's go have a drink.

USAA/OnDeck Advertiser (60:06)

Yeah.

Akia (60:06)

You know what I'm saying? And he had the haircut, the John B. Haircut. Okay. So, you know.

Jade (60:12)

Okay.

Akia (60:14)

So I'm like, all right. Okay. So we dance a little bit. We are hanging out a little bit. And I'm like, I. I guess I could try. You know what I'm saying? Then this tries to kiss me in the club. And I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. I met you 45 minutes ago. That's what y' all do? Crazy easy. And he was like, well, he was. He was offended that I was offended.

Jade (60:40)

Okay.

Akia (60:41)

I was like. And then this is where I should have known. I. This is where the neurodivergence jumped out. Cause I was like, do you realize that the mouth has the most amount of germs on the body? And you wanna kiss me in the club?

Lillian Prince (60:57)

Woo.

Akia (60:58)

There was so much that happened that night. So much.

Jade (61:02)

Yes. When I woke up this morning, kissing a white man was not on my bingo card. I wanna be very clear about that.

Akia (61:07)

Never. It was never on my. It was never. And it was very film. Television and film.

Jade (61:13)

When he.

Akia (61:13)

Cause he leaned in and I was

Function Health Advertiser (61:15)

like,

Akia (61:17)

that's way too motherfucking intimate. Dan.

Jade (61:19)

Dan.

Akia (61:20)

So Dan's like, you wanna hang? You know, can we go out, like, on an official situation? And I said, okay, I guess it's gonna have to be when I come back from visiting my nigga. So I go out of town, I visit the nigga. I come back, I go out with Dan, period. This was a chaotic night. This was a chaotic night. I went swimming in a famous basketball player's pool, fell asleep in his shower. He was not there by myself. It was a. That was a. One day I will get into Jade's Lore. But. But Dan. I went out with Dan. I went out on two dates. The second. The first one was. All right.

Jade (62:03)

Okay.

Akia (62:03)

It was okay.

Jade (62:04)

Okay. Went to eat.

Akia (62:05)

The second one, we went out. I didn't like how I felt.

Jade (62:11)

Were you embarrassed? Were you like, oh, my God, I was a white man.

Akia (62:16)

Yeah, I was embarrassed. He wanted to hold hands. He was very affectionate, as you know. You tried to kiss me in the club. And then the final thing. I have also had an issue, Lillian, where I was the small. I got the ick very quickly, right? So I already clearly had the ick.

Function Health Advertiser (62:33)

I didn't.

Akia (62:34)

I didn't. I wasn't fully invested in this entire venture. I'd never done this before, and I didn't like how I felt doing it. So he had dog tags on. So I was like, are you in the military? Which is also another thing for me. I said, are you in the military? And he was like, no, I'm not in the military. So I was like, those are military tags. Like, this is not even, like, fashion tags. Yeah, you didn't get that done at

Function Health Advertiser (62:58)

the mall, because you could do that

Akia (62:59)

at the time, kids. And this.

Jade (63:03)

He.

Akia (63:04)

And he was like, nah, these are my dad's tags. And I was like, okay, has your dad passed away? And he said, no. And I said, okay, so you just wear your dad's tag. Like, you just wear them. I was like, do you pretend that you're in the military? Is this was. What. Is this. What's happening here? He was like, sometimes I use them for discounts and things like that. And I. I resolved in my mind in that moment. I was like, I'm good on this.

Jade (63:31)

That was it.

Akia (63:31)

And I never spoke to dad again.

Jade (63:33)

Okay.

Lillian Prince (63:34)

Dan was resourceful.

Akia (63:36)

So, you know, and if that. But you. You got enough privilege in your life. You know what I'm saying? You try. You want too much. You're greedy. You're greedy at the. Greedy at the blackjack table, and I don't like it.

Jade (63:46)

So you don't need another.

Lillian Prince (63:49)

Different.

Akia (63:50)

Privilege is privilege. You're a white man. Like, and now you want. No, I was immediately turned off.

Jade (63:56)

I mean, so

Akia (63:58)

that was. That was. Maybe I was the problem in that dating story, but that was probably.

Jade (64:03)

Yeah, the car should be. It's not you. It's me, dad.

Akia (64:07)

It's me. Your dog tags turned me off.

Jade (64:12)

That's it. I'm just not gonna be able to move forward.

Akia (64:16)

I'm not. Maybe I was the issue in the millennial dating as I'm recalling many things.

Jade (64:24)

Dan Was like, j is the birthday.

Akia (64:26)

Look at you, Dan. You are not the birthday.

Jade (64:31)

Birthday.

Akia (64:32)

I hope you found you a nice white lady to settle down with and have some pink babies and. And got.

Jade (64:40)

Please, wherever you are.

Akia (64:42)

Well, you fake pumping through the world. Okay, stop. So. Okay, let's. Lillian. It's National Letter Writing and Card Month April, which I shout out. Shout out to Kia for.

Jade (64:56)

For.

Akia (64:56)

For pitting that. What's the one conversation you challenge our listeners to have this April that they've been putting off?

Jade (65:04)

Is there one? Yeah.

Lillian Prince (65:06)

I think this would be a good time to reach out to the people who have been there, who support you, whether it is just in a daily conversation, a funny meme, something that is lifting your spirits, because I think there's so much heaviness around us, and there's just so much craziness. And so when you have those people who center you, who relax you, who, you know, help to make things make sense, I think now would be just a nice time to just say, thank you. Thank you for all you are.

Jade (65:42)

Yeah.

Lillian Prince (65:43)

Thank you for supporting me, for loving me. Thank you for being sunshine on a rainy day. Because there's so much going on that, you know, it can be very overwhelming. And it's nice when you can just kind of escape into these conversations with your friends, whether it's through a meme or just, you know, talking every day, whatever. So, yeah, I think that that would be a nice. A nice message to send out.

Jade (66:08)

I love that, for sure. Yeah. One of the things that we've been talking about on the show, you know, Jade and I, I think last week we had. We played a game. We've been trying to connect on purpose and intentionally because things are so heavy. So it's a good reminder to just, like, you know, reach out to your people. And don't, you know, don't. Don't let. Don't let too much time pass. Be intentional about connecting to the people that you love, even if time has passed. Like, you know, that's. That's what's up. And a greeting card is a great way to do that. So let the people know. Lillian. How can the folks who want to learn more about Pen to perfection, how can they, you know, learn more about what the greeting cards are and how their kids support you?

Lillian Prince (66:53)

Sure. They can go to the website. So it's www.pinnedtoperfection.com. that's P E N N E D 2 perfection.com. you can also go to my Instagram page, which is pin two perfection underscore and by the time this comes out, Pin to Perfection will be featured in USA Today. So.

Jade (67:16)

Nice.

Lillian Prince (67:19)

Pick up a copy of that and you'll see a nice, cute little blurb about PIN to Perfection. And you know how we are trying to mend relationships and get those conversations started.

Jade (67:30)

Love it. Mother's Day is coming. Graduation cards are coming. Father's Day is coming. So, you know, these are amazing ways to connect and reconnect with the people that you love, to show them that, that you love them, how much you love them. And they all come with a curated playlist so we can have a good time with them. So we'll make sure that all of that information is in the description box. Lillian, thank you so much.

Lillian Prince (67:59)

This is the car, of course. And then the playlist will come out. I'm trying to. The lighting.

Jade (68:04)

Right.

Lillian Prince (68:04)

You can see it, so.

Akia (68:06)

No, we see it.

Jade (68:07)

We see it.

Akia (68:08)

I love it.

Jade (68:09)

It's amazing. And you get the, you get, you get the playlist instantly. You don't have to do go. There's no, like, hurdles or any of that. As soon as you.

Lillian Prince (68:18)

It's right.

Akia (68:19)

Wheel of Fortune.

Jade (68:21)

It's not, it's not going to ask you to subscribe to nothing. Everybody wants you to subscribe. Yes. So, and so thank you for being here. Thank you for all the great ways that you are working to, to be transparent about the realities of life and relationships and to encourage us to connect on purpose. Yeah, we appreciate you and y', all. Y' all make sure you support my good girlfriend and these wonderful cards.

Lillian Prince (68:50)

Thank you.

Akia (68:51)

Yes. All the links will be in the description box for you all to check out. Everything that Lillian is working on has worked links to where you can purchase the book and purchase the cards, period. Lillian, is there anything you want to leave the listeners with?

Lillian Prince (69:05)

Thank you. I hope you check me out. Get you some Mother's Day cards, some Father's Day cards, some graduation cards, and I hope the next time you have to get a card, the PIN To Perfection is the first thing that you think of.

Jade (69:18)

Amazing. All right, y', all, we'll see you

Akia (69:21)

all for the next segment. Michelle, I deserve the.

Jade (69:30)

Shout out to Lillian. Okay. To perfection.

Akia (69:36)

I'm so excited to. I, I, I am loving this black woman greeting card.

Jade (69:40)

Boom. Yeah.

Akia (69:42)

I love the cards by Ms. James. And so I'm really excited to get into Pen To Perfection as well.

Jade (69:49)

Yeah.

Akia (69:49)

Because I just don't want that art to be lost.

Jade (69:52)

No.

Akia (69:53)

So important. Important.

Jade (69:54)

And it is, it's just if it's a feel good thing.

Lillian Prince (69:57)

Right.

Jade (69:57)

And we Need. We need a lot, a lot more of that. So, yeah, I'm real proud of what that. How that is taking shape and just how. How we are creating the things that are, you know, that represent the realities of our lives and our relationships. We don't have to rely on other people when we can do things on our own. So, you know, excited about that. In the spirit of self care, I thought I would read a note. We got an awesome listener note from one of our listeners.

Akia (70:28)

Love it.

Jade (70:29)

And I thought. I thought it was really kind. And so in the spirit of connecting and saying kind things, we got a message from a listener, Gigi B. By the name of Antonio. Antonio writes.

Akia (70:44)

Hello, Antonio.

Lillian Prince (70:45)

Yes.

Jade (70:45)

Antonio writes greetings to the incomparable chef Jaden. Dr. K. He said we don't have to read this on the show, but I'm reading it because I thought it was nice.

USAA/OnDeck Advertiser (70:56)

Okay.

Jade (70:57)

I hope that you're both as well as you can be. I've written in before, specifically last year when I graduated, regarding some tips regarding old family photos. It's been on my heart to write you, to write to you, as you've both lost a grandparent within the last year. Similarly, I lost my last grandparent, my papa, in July at 92. He said, oh, this shit sucks. And it does. Especially going through your entire life having this person, and now they are just no longer there. And that's hard. We often have the faith that they are in a better place. However, that just doesn't pacify how we feel in the present. I encourage you to take whatever time you need to feel better. Doing whatever helps remind you of the good times for me that was making my grandpa's famous sweet potato piece during the holidays, so. Well, I'm not going to continue to ramble, but I'm sending you so much love and as you grow through this situation. And that is from Antonio. And he said, shout out to y'. All. Being hip to la dente. I love that for us. Thank you, Antonio.

Akia (72:02)

I thought. Thank you, Antonio.

Jade (72:04)

Yeah, I thought your note was really timely and just, you know, a great example of how just reaching out to say, I've been thinking about. You can. Can really, you know, hit somebody else's heart and spirit and. And lift it when it gets heavy. Jade and I were just talking. You know, we've both lost grandparents, and no matter how much time have. Has passed, it still feels fresh. I don't know that it will ever not feel fresh.

Akia (72:36)

Yeah. And just learn you don't know a life without them.

Jade (72:39)

Exactly. And so it really does take time to build the muscle of experiencing life in this new way. And so just you acknowledging that that loss is something that we don't ever really outrun.

Lillian Prince (72:59)

Yeah.

Jade (72:59)

It just means a lot that folks in our community understand what we're carrying and that we know that you're carrying it, too. So thank you for the. We are. We are keeping you in our spirits and our prayers. Yes.

Akia (73:15)

As you negotiate the loss of your papa. Yeah.

Jade (73:17)

As you negotiate this. This tender place, you know, being in the world without a grandparent.

Akia (73:24)

Yeah.

Jade (73:25)

You know, it's new, but it is what it is. And not only without them physically, because they are still very much.

Akia (73:32)

Oh, yeah.

Jade (73:33)

But, yeah.

Akia (73:34)

And I love the honoring. I love the. I love that you're honoring by making his sweet potato pie, which would love to taste.

Jade (73:42)

Yum.

Akia (73:44)

That is such a. It's a beautiful reminder. It is a wonderful reminder that I

Function Health Advertiser (73:50)

love to keep at the forefront.

Akia (73:51)

There was a. The creator I was talking about recently. I've got to pull her name up. She was talking about salmon croquettes and.

Function Health Advertiser (74:00)

Or.

Akia (74:01)

Or, you know, whatever you are, whatever you call them in your family. And it just brought such warm feelings because it reminded me of my grandpa. My grandpa, I told you all many times, he always had a pot of beans on the stove, and there was always cornbread, and there was always a paper towel and a plate of salmon croquettes, like, without question. And so thank you for that. Thank you for that reminder that, you know, for us to find different ways for us to honor our ancestors. And also, like Kia said, we want to send you immense love as you're also negotiating a fresh loss.

Lillian Prince (74:37)

Yeah.

Akia (74:39)

And we all in a club together, Right? Like, it's not an easy club, but it's a club.

Jade (74:43)

Yeah, for sure.

Akia (74:44)

I'm just grateful we have the spaces to be able to hold each other

Function Health Advertiser (74:47)

up when we need that.

Jade (74:49)

Absolutely.

Lillian Prince (74:50)

Thank you.

Akia (74:50)

That was lovely. That was super lovely.

Jade (74:52)

Means a lot.

Akia (74:53)

I want to use the self care this week, slash. I know. That's right. To shout out a song that has been lifting my spirits recently.

Jade (75:05)

Yeah.

Akia (75:07)

It's my song for the summer.

Jade (75:08)

All right.

Akia (75:10)

It's a beautiful reminder, as they are on outside, that, like, no matter Jesus, no matter what's going on out there, that we are magical, and there's no way you could ever touch that, no matter how much. Much chaos you try to bring. And so it's called Mama's Juice, and it's by Pedro Bada, featuring okay, Mary Akpa. Okay, you all know, Mary has been producing for Getting Grown for the last five years. Most recently, she put together the episode with Dr. Sharon Malone and Dr. Wendy the Round table that we did. Which is, I mean, when I tell you the girls are loving, the girls are talking.

Jade (75:52)

There's lots to talk about. We should have. We should spend the block on that. We should see. I think we, I think, yeah, we should. The girls, we have many. We have lots to discuss as it relates to our developing bodies. But please continue.

Akia (76:06)

Absolutely. Absolutely. And so. So Pedro and Mary released a song called Mama's Juice. And there's a part of the, of the hook where Mary is yelling, you not touching my Ashe, Ashe, Ashe. And that's right, y', all, no matter what you're on out there, y' all are not touching what it's supposed to be. You are not touching our magic. You are not touching who we are at our nucleus and where we are supposed to be going. Because that's not yours to touch. And it's all done to a beat.

Jade (76:39)

Okay.

Akia (76:40)

We're getting some rap stress on the track.

Jade (76:43)

I know. That's.

Akia (76:43)

We got it. The visuals are fire. Okay, I'll make sure that I link those in the description box. But I wanted to put that as my self care. And I know that's right this week because we need, we need that energy. We need the balance of that energy with everything else that we're negotiating. And it's a fire ass song, man. Like, it's very fire. So that is my self care this week.

Jade (77:08)

Very good.

Akia (77:09)

And I think we shall move on to the petty peeves.

Jade (77:12)

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Jade (79:55)

Country, Country, Petty, Petty, Petty. All the same to me playing Jane Spaghetti all right, let's get petty. And and I'm I'm gonna say this fully acknowledging that, you know, I understand that, you know, producing things, creating things like, you know, those things happen. I know that there are costs associated with and I never want people to feel like I do not think that people that Folks should not be fairly compensated for the effort that they invest into creating the things that they create. I do want to say, though, that it is very challenging to just sort of be. I think right now we are in a space and time where what used to feel like digital, like, it used to feel like the Internet was a resource that made things more accessible because things can be accessed quickly. It makes it seem like you can find the answer to things very quickly, you know, you know, almost instantly. And that felt like something that, that could be an opportunity to bridge information gaps and, and, and generate connectivity and connection. And I'm not saying that that's entirely gone, but I do feel like we are moving to, towards a shift away from, you know, broader digital communal spaces into more of a content economy. And I just want to say that I wish and fondly recall being able to access things without having, like a paywall or some sort of subscription or sign up.

Akia (81:39)

Yes, yes.

Jade (81:41)

Every time any link you click now is asking for you to log in and create an account. Sometimes, you know, and, and even like, information. This is what makes it so dangerous because I feel like you read an article or you see a headline, you click the link and you want to learn more, and you start reading halfway through, and then you're prompted like, oh, you gotta pay to read to, to read the rest of this. Like, and it's like paying for, you know, if I'm paying someone for their con, you know, if they're offering a service, if I'm, if I'm looking for them to, you know, I don't know, if I'm looking for you to do some work for me, then I understand that that comes with the fee. But if I just want to understand something, if I, if I want to really learn more about what I'm hearing, if I see a headline or hear something on the news or see something on my newsfeed, and I'm going to explore, to really try to build my understanding around a thing. It's very frustrating that I have to, you know, there's so many obstacles. Like, I can't just read the article. I can't just engage with the information, even to ensure that it is credible and quality. Like, there's always being. I'm requested to insert some information, to insert some, some form of payment, and, and I understand that people need to make their money and things cost money. This is not what I'm saying. I'm not saying that we should not do that, but it just feels increasingly more and more and more difficult. It Feels like, yeah, there are more barriers to information being erected than eliminated. And that feels, that feels hard. I hate it. I hate it. If I want, if you post something and I'm going to go read about what you posted and then I can't even read the whole thing because I got to enter my, I got to subscribe.

Akia (83:34)

I don't want to read it anymore.

Jade (83:35)

You know what I'm saying? Like, it does and I, and I get it. And I think that is what contributes to people only. The only time you access information for free is like in a caption. And I think this is degrading the quality of available information and in our own literacy around the kind of information and our capacity to vet the information that we are engaging on a day to day basis. So that's all I wanted to say. I just wish that we can have more. I wish everything wasn't behind the paywall. I wish everything wasn't behind a subscription or that we were subscribing. Like, I'm willing to subscribe, you know, if you're a substack, if you have quality content that I want to continue to engage you, I find that that's different. I don't have a problem with that. But I just feel like if I'm just clicking a Yahoo article, if, if I'm just clicking something on Huffington Post.

Akia (84:24)

Exactly.

Jade (84:25)

If I want to read something, like, you know, I, I mean, I just feel like certain, we need, we need more free and accessible things, which is why, like NPR and all these things have been defunded. I understand that. That's why, but that's why this has been, this has been such a hit. It's been such a hit.

Akia (84:42)

Yeah, that's, that's the issue.

Jade (84:44)

And so, yeah, I just hate it because you always got to log in, you always got to sign up. You always got. And it's just like, man, I'm sick of that. I just want, like, I don't, I don't want that. I don't want that.

Akia (84:55)

I actually want to, I wanna, I want to jump on your, on your petty peeve. Because I agree, like, it's, it's. And it also falls under these, like, very narrow powers of control, right? As everything has streamlined to a very few being in charge of literally everything and not the few that I would want to be in charge of everything. Like, I don't even agree with you on, on half this.

Jade (85:14)

Right.

Akia (85:15)

You're the one who's literally the overlord of all.

Jade (85:19)

Exactly.

Akia (85:19)

Like, they don't want us to Own anything. You have to have a subscription to use a digital remote.

Jade (85:26)

It's wild.

Akia (85:27)

You know what I'm saying? It's like they don't want you to own a single solitary thing. I want to watch a movie. I used to be able to purchase that or. Or go rent it.

Jade (85:35)

Yeah.

Akia (85:35)

You know what I'm saying? I could either steal it and pay for it to Blockbuster or I could own it forever. Whatever the case is now, you all put it up. And whenever you decide we don't want you to have access to this anymore, you rip that shit down. Like, you all take away the access to literally everything. And I think your point about it contributing to a lack of literacy is really, really the.

Function Health Advertiser (85:56)

The fear here.

Akia (85:57)

Right. Like, the literacy is. Is low. The very low bar is so low these days.

Jade (86:04)

Scary.

Akia (86:06)

It's frightening, actually. And so it just feels nefarious and it feels dystopian. We have seen all of this play out in quote, unquote, fantasy, like books or series or movies or whatever the case is. And we are true living it right now. We are watching it and we've watched it. Which I think, think is also why our nervous systems are so out of whack.

Jade (86:35)

Shot to hell, child.

Akia (86:37)

You know what I'm saying? Why we have the health issues we've had because we know a world that once was.

Jade (86:42)

Yeah.

Akia (86:43)

And have literally watched the decline and watched the shift in real time, which

Jade (86:50)

will throw anybody off in our lifetimes, which are, for the record, not that long. We. I know it feels like it, but we are not that old to sort of see things change in the way the drastic ways they've changed and how quickly that drastic change has occurred. It is a bit of mind fuck. I don't know how else to say it. No. It is so. I just feel like we have to continue to say that kind of stuff out loud because so much I sit at work or just in here in other spaces, and it's like people are trying to normalize. How absolutely ridiculous.

Akia (87:24)

Normalizing Mandela effect.

Jade (87:26)

It's like, no, y', all. You are not crazy. If you're sitting up and listening to somebody saying something and it feels crazy in your body. It is because it is. Do not.

Akia (87:34)

Because it is.

Jade (87:35)

Do not allow.

Akia (87:35)

Unless you're the crazy one.

Jade (87:37)

Exactly. Don't let these people gaslight you and make you feel like this is okay. We are not. We are not living in okay times. And I think we should be.

Lillian Prince (87:46)

We should.

Jade (87:47)

I. I've been normalizing and saying every chance I get, like, you Know, if you feel crazy, you should feel crazy, because this is crazy. Like, this is crazy. This is so. Don't.

Lillian Prince (88:01)

Yeah.

Jade (88:01)

I just feel like they're trying to desensitize us to how absolutely ridiculous everything is. This go fast and break things. They did that. They went fast and everything is broken. And I think it's very real for us to be like, girl, what? In the age of, like, I grew up going to the library at, like, you know, after school and being able to. To move about and read and just, you know, be online in the initial days of the Internet, be online, just exploring and building and building upon my own curiosity and getting caught up in a rabbit hole. Those are the kinds of things that expand our minds. But now, in order for me to just sort of, like, continue to do that kind of research, I met with all kinds of passwords and paywalls. And so, you know, when. When you know what's free? You know what's free? Tm goddamn. Z and the shade.

Akia (88:57)

Exactly.

Jade (88:58)

You know what I'm saying?

Akia (88:59)

Okay. Question that. You want to question every question that.

Jade (89:03)

And I hate it.

Akia (89:04)

Blackness at the corner.

Jade (89:05)

I think I also feel like I understand, you know, because we are also producing content, and there are costs associated with that.

Lillian Prince (89:13)

Absolutely.

Jade (89:13)

And so we understand that. I'm not saying that, you know, I understand how things have evolved or developed, and I'm not saying that we should dismiss that and people should not be compensated for their work. But I just feel like it has. It has swung. The pendulum has swung all the way to the extreme.

Akia (89:32)

Yes, that's the problem.

Jade (89:34)

In a way that feels unmanageable, in a way that feels like a threat to our lives as we know it. And that's all. That's what I want to say. If feels like this is. This is going too far, we should not have.

Akia (89:49)

Well, it's the result of capitalism. And capitalism is. Capitalism is the great giant beast creature from the black lagoon that a has to make regular people monetize things. Right. Self included. You know what I'm saying? I'm like, if I have to put time in to produce, this is my job, so this is what I have to do. I also don't fucking own Disney. I don't own Netflix. I don't own none of that shit. I'm producing this little bit for my little bit of audience.

Jade (90:23)

Exactly.

Akia (90:24)

You own everything. You're like, let's shuffle the cards and see which house I want to go to today. When these are literally just trying to survive and you've made it to where people are struck.

Jade (90:37)

And it's. To your point, sis, I think, you know, the machine has compromised and made it very difficult for smaller creators like us to get a leg up. Even if you look at. And I mean, I say this humbly because y' all know that I don't have a hating bone in my body and I don't want to be anybody but myself. Right. But I feel like if you look at the way that the podcast world has changed and we have all of these higher profile, super popular celebrities and. And public figures creating podcasts and getting picked up, you know, by Netflix and broader. Broader platforms. Right. And you know, those platforms have larger machines behind them and they are able to create content at higher quality and a faster rate. And so that, you know, inadvertently. I don't even know if it's intentional. It might be, but either way, it pushes things out for smaller creators and drives up costs for us who have just been sort of slowly but surely building a community. And so then, you know, advertisers and other partners who could position the show for growth, you know, it's harder for us to sell to them because of the larger.

Akia (92:07)

Because they'd rather put money into Cam Newton and his motherfucking hats.

Jade (92:11)

You know what I'm saying?

Akia (92:11)

Foolish gibberish.

Jade (92:13)

And people that already have. You know what I'm saying? People that have already have larger platforms. And I'm not saying that they should not create. I'm just saying it just eliminated Kim

Akia (92:23)

Newton should not create.

Jade (92:24)

Well, Kim. Well, not. Well, not just him, but I'm thinking about even people like Keke Promer.

Akia (92:30)

I don't.

Jade (92:30)

I don't have. I like Keke Palmer's podcast, and I think that she is awesome at what she does. Absolutely. But I do feel like Keke Palmer is a brand by herself. And so the fact that she has been able to leverage that platform in the podcasting world is great for her and great for those of us who engage that content. But I'm also just bearing in mind that the space that she takes up has taken up some space from some smaller creators.

Akia (92:57)

Absolutely.

Jade (92:58)

And it's made it more difficult for them to remain relevant and remain competitive because the market continues to be as saturated and so the bigger fish in the pond are afforded more opportunities. And so, again, I'm not saying this from a place of hate. I do feel like the, you know,

Function Health Advertiser (93:18)

except for Cam Newton.

Jade (93:20)

Exactly. I think the creator space is one that should be filled with diversity.

Akia (93:27)

Absolutely.

Jade (93:28)

I just feel like I wish that there was a way that we could cultivate that diversity in ways that didn't. That allowed everyone the same amount of footing. Yeah, the same amount of footing. And so that's all I'm saying. When we have created. I think your point is well taken. Capitalism has. Has a way of distorting things that used to feel pure and honest.

Akia (93:55)

Yeah.

Jade (93:56)

You know what I'm saying?

Function Health Advertiser (93:57)

Yeah.

Akia (93:59)

To everything. And literally to everything. It's done it to literally everything. It's done it in every space.

Jade (94:04)

Yeah.

Akia (94:05)

Everywhere across the gambit.

Jade (94:07)

Yeah.

Akia (94:08)

So, you know, it's just the beast that we're fighting, which is so insane. You all, you. You're rich, you're rich, you're wealthy, you're like lifetimes. What more do you need?

Jade (94:21)

And what. And what would it. I mean, it would be different if those people who had the larger platforms recognized the space that they took up and, like, we tried to do. Create space for others.

Akia (94:35)

Yeah, no, absolutely. And I think the other side to that, again, back to the capitalism, oftentimes there's a lot of actors out there. Right. And to us, it's like, I know you from this. I seen you in this show, this show, this. Over the show, in this show. And niggas are like, yeah, yeah, yeah. And I got paid for that. And then I didn't get paid no more. And then I got paid for that. I didn't get paid no more. So it's created this space where there is an illusion also.

Jade (95:04)

Yeah.

Akia (95:04)

Like you're rich and you got it. And it's like, yeah, I moved into this space because there was such a narrow lane for black actors or there was such a narrow lane for this and. Which makes it, again, so nefarious at the. At the top of this pyramid of who is creating all of this. All of this. All of this dis. Dissonance and creating all of this division and all, you know, it's creating the spaces from the people who, again, are you. You're. You're rich for. For multiple families, for multiple lifetimes. But you just like to create the chaos at this point because you don't have else to do.

Jade (95:43)

Yeah.

Akia (95:44)

And they're big, insatiable babies. They are, is what they are. They have incontinence. You can yourselves. You speak Babel.

Jade (95:52)

Yeah.

Akia (95:52)

And you just create chaos.

Jade (95:56)

Yeah. And. And chaos. Like, not helpful things, but.

Akia (96:00)

No, just chaos. Just chaos.

Jade (96:04)

Absolutely.

Akia (96:05)

But that is another episode of getting grown. Thank you all so much for listening. Make sure you check out our Patreon, where you get the full video. Yeah. They are speaking I'm not a capitalist,

Jade (96:21)

but that's what I'm saying. But to your point, these are the things that help smaller creators stay alive. So if you are, if you are, if you would be so kind to help us to stay alive, we would be much. It would mean the world to us. This is. That's all we saying. It would mean so much.

Akia (96:42)

But we are so grateful for you all and there are so many ways to support getting grown. Please check out our you YouTube page. You can subscribe and download. That also helps us out liking and rating us five stars. All of those things cost you nothing on Apple podcasts or wherever you're listening to your podcast. It's a great help to the show. It's a great helping us achieve more advertising and so forth and so on. So those are all of the different ways and we're just grateful that you all listening.

Jade (97:08)

We are, you know, please know that

Akia (97:09)

we're grateful for you all. Yes, we all. We gun very fubu in this. Thank you so much to Lillian for joining us at the kitchen table. Make sure you check out all things Lillian in the description box.

Jade (97:28)

Yep.

Akia (97:29)

So you can also support her and all of the awesome intentional work she's doing. And sis, take us out and tell us what to do.

Jade (97:36)

For sure. Make sure that you're taking care of yourself and attend to the business that is yours and yours alone. That's how you keep your mind moisturized. Okay. Keep it moist. You don't want a dried up brain over there in somebody else's business. You don't want that?

Akia (97:50)

Nope.

Jade (97:50)

Okay. You also want to make sure that you're taking care of your insides by drinking just as much water as your body can sustain every day. Okay. Because you have liquid. That's it. You have to breathe life into your organs by drinking water. That's that. That's just how it goes. And finally, you want to moisturize your skin which is your largest organ. It is also a key indicator of both anti blackness and being raggedy because it will crack if it's dry.

Akia (98:18)

Bye.

Lillian Prince (98:19)

Bye.

Jade (98:24)

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