Gettin' Grown – “M.A.S.H.”

Podcast: Gettin' Grown
Hosts: Jade & Dr. Keia
Date: February 25, 2025
Network: Loud Speakers Network

Episode Overview

This episode of Gettin' Grown centers on how the concept of “family” has shifted for Black millennials, moving from traditional definitions to broader, more inclusive ideas rooted in community and chosen family. Through the signature warmth, wit, and candor that Jade and Keia deliver weekly, they reflect on millennial life’s changing landscapes, intergenerational values, self-care in turbulent times, and offer affirming, humorous wisdom about finding wealth in true connections.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. Opening Reflections & Setting the Tone (03:40-13:04)

• Weather, Sunflowers & Facing Each Other
  The hosts joke about gross NYC weather, finding comfort in home, and share a lesson from nature:

  “Sunflowers…when they can't find the sun…they face each other.” — Jade [02:27]

  • This becomes a metaphor, connecting how community helps us through dark times.
• Congratulating Family & The Read's Anniversary
  The hosts celebrate The Read podcast’s 12-year anniversary, emphasizing the value of chosen family and traditions.
• Global Awareness
  Jade points to the importance of staying informed about world events, specifically in Gaza, Congo, and Sudan, and encourages continued solidarity and support.

2. Millennial Realities & The Bare Minimum Baddie Era (05:02-13:04)

• Political Frustrations
  Discussion of political leaders’ ignorance, lack of critical thought, and the ongoing need for Black women to shoulder burdens in professional/social spheres.

  “Illiteracy and white nationalism is a dangerousness. It is so disgusting. It is dangerous.” — Keia [06:23]

• “Bare Minimum Baddie” Philosophy
  Keia promotes doing one's job—no more, no less—as self-preservation in exhausting, inequitable environments:

  “I'm in a bare minimum season because for so long I have worked with my... and my counterparts have done nothing, and I have done much of everything... But it is not easy.” — Keia [09:55]

  • Encouragement for Black women to stop overextending and let others do their own work.
• Self-Preservation & Self-Care
  The hosts emphasize closing laptops, going to bed on time, and prioritizing personal well-being—rejection of harmful meritocracy myths.

  “Everybody else been looking out for themselves. It's time for us to worry about ourselves.” — Keia [12:30] “I'm very Rosa Parks. I'm in my Rosa Parks era…I'm gonna sit down.” — Jade [12:37]

3. Kitchen Table Talk: Redefining Family & Community (18:49-59:22)

A. Evolving Definitions of Family (18:50-29:43)

• Childhood vs. Adulthood Understanding
  Jade describes her childhood view of family as “very binary Black...immediate family, lots of cousins, and family friends.”
  As adults, both hosts’ definitions have expanded:

  “My friends are my family…We assembled…because she is family, because we are family.” — Jade [21:45]

• Church as Community
  Both reflect on the significance of “church family” and how shifting church cultures (rise of megachurches, digital spaces) have impacted the concept of communal support.

B. Practicing & Living Family Now (29:43-41:10)

• Shared Values Over Blood
  The hosts describe forming meaningful connections with non-blood “family”—from Uber drivers to digital friends—through shared values and mutual aid.

  “If something were to happen…you want to be stuck in a car with a person like that and…that person would become family for sure.” — Jade [29:43]

• Complexity & Differences Enrich Connection
  They celebrate differences within their chosen family, embracing varied beliefs, habits, lifestyles:

  “I love and accept and respect them, and they love and accept and respect me…Their experience may be worlds different than mine…but it doesn't make me say I cannot be in community." — Keia [31:17]

• Millennial Shifts: Less Conventional, More Intentional
  Both express gratitude for communities formed across the internet and in real-life, through traditions like annual gatherings, Thanksgiving, and everyday mutual support.

C. Healing & Recognizing Chosen Family (41:10-51:05)

• Letting Go of Broken Blood Ties
  Keia discusses healing from estranged familial ties through the strength of chosen family:

  “There are relationships that you grow up thinking these are the people who are supposed to have your back…and for whatever reason, that might not be the case… I have safe spaces... I know what I need." [40:20]

• Measuring Wealth in Community
  Jade reflects on feeling “wealthy” because of the deep, practical, and emotional support she receives from her friend-family.

D. Advice on Building Community (43:53-49:31)

• For Listeners Seeking Their Tribe
  Jade insists it’s not always your fault if you’re still searching for community, but self-reflection, openness, and authenticity are key. Seasons of solitude and connection both have their place.

  “None of the real friendships that I have did I like…look at Jade and say, ‘Jade's gonna be my friend.’ We were in the same space, being ourselves, and found connection.” — Keia [46:56]

E. Childhood Dreams vs. Reality (Playing ‘M.A.S.H.’ Game) (51:05-59:06)

• The hosts reminisce about their childhood aspirations versus adult realities, using the classic game M.A.S.H. as a metaphor for changing dreams, priorities, and acceptance:

  “When I was young, I used to play M.A.S.H….thought I was gonna have a house… and however many kids I put down…My dream car was a 95 black Honda Civic.” — Jade [51:05]
  “I wouldn't do anything to change it now.” — Jade [53:44]
  There’s acceptance and gratitude for the journey, however it unfolded.

Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

“Sunflowers…when they can't find the sun…they face each other.” — Jade [02:27]

“Illiteracy and white nationalism is a dangerousness. It is so disgusting. It is dangerous.” — Keia [06:23]

“I'm in a bare minimum season because for so long I have worked with my... and my counterparts have done nothing, and I have done much of everything... But it is not easy.” — Keia [09:55]

“I'm very Rosa Parks. I'm in my Rosa Parks era…I'm gonna sit down.” — Jade [12:37]

“My friends are my family…We assembled…because she is family, because we are family.” — Jade [21:45]

“I love and accept and respect them, and they love and accept and respect me…Their experience may be worlds different than mine…but it doesn't make me say I cannot be in community." — Keia [31:17]

“I don't feel like I've missed out on anything and...I feel wealthy for that reason.” — Keia [57:11]

“Six words to carry with you: Suck my dick, go to hell.” — Jade [81:37]

Important Timestamps

• Bare Minimum Baddie / Black Women Labor: 06:32–13:04
• Kitchen Table Talk Starts – Redefining Family: 18:49
• Value of Church Community / Shifts in Church Culture: 23:55–26:41
• Building Chosen Family / Digital Community: 35:40–36:23
• Healing Through Chosen Family: 40:20–41:10
• Advice for Seeking Community / Authentic Friendships: 43:53–49:31
• M.A.S.H. & Childhood Dreams: 51:05–54:54
• Celebrating Graduation Announcements: 60:44–67:53
• Petty Peeve: White Women Critiquing Kamala: 77:10–81:37
• Self-Care Segment: 69:05–73:59

Tone & Style Notes

• The exchange is warm, honest, and playful, brimming with millennial Black women’s cultural references, in-jokes, and practical wisdom.
• There’s both levity and seriousness—politics, self-care, and community interwoven with laughter and affectionate ribbing.

Conclusion

This episode of Gettin’ Grown amplifies the richness and necessity of chosen community for Black millennials, urging listeners to honor how their own definitions of “family” have broadened. Jade and Keia model resilience, humor, and vulnerability, reinforcing that adulting is messy but communal support—and a bit of “bare minimum baddie” energy—can make the journey more beautiful.

Call to Action:
Listeners are invited to share how their own definitions of family and community have evolved ([59:08]), and to reflect on gratitude, authenticity, and the radical possibility of connection beyond blood.

“You have to really show up, and you have to really be grateful for what you have.” — Jade [49:12]