Palette Cleanser

Summary

Gettin’ Grown – “Palette Cleanser”
Hosts: Jade & Kia | Date: October 28, 2025

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Episode Overview

In this heartfelt and gently humorous episode, Jade and Kia devote time to reflecting on recent losses in Black culture, revisiting memories tied to music legends, and exploring the evolution of their own adulthood and self-care as Black women. After a string of heavy conversations on the podcast lately, this week acts as a “palette cleanser”—offering a lighter, restorative vibe through friendship, nostalgia, and the playful deepening of connection via the Black Girl Hug Experience conversation cards.

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Key Discussion Points

1. Processing Grief and Black Cultural Loss

• The episode opens with Jade and Kia still mourning the loss of D’Angelo, his passing evoking a rare grief akin to that felt for icons like Chadwick Boseman.
• Both hosts discuss D’Angelo’s impact on their lives, from adolescence through early adulthood, underscoring his lasting influence on Black music and culture (02:10–07:22).
  • Jade: “It’s a beautiful tragedy is what it is.” [07:17]
  • Kia reminisces, “I haven’t felt this kind of grief for someone I don’t know since, like, Chadwick Boseman.” [02:19]
• They also reminisce about the communal impact of moments in Black pop culture, like the Jamie Foxx parody of the “Untitled” video and D’Angelo’s Prince tribute (03:34–05:08).

2. The Power and Duality of Millennial Black Womanhood

• Through memories and generational humor, Jade and Kia reflect on how millennials embody both tradition and critique.
  • They laugh about parents’ fears regarding “voodoo” in Black music (08:21–10:03) and swap stories about churchy upbringings colliding with modern spiritual exploration (11:25–14:43).
  • Kia: “I love the duality and the complexity of millennials... we very much can operate in the duality.” [11:53]
• The hosts discuss the increased openness to spiritual searching and therapy in their generation, contrasting with older “fear-based” models rooted in racism and control (13:45–14:43).

3. Highlighting Community Resources and Social Awareness

• Briefly, Jade directs listeners to @SarahSBS for crucial insights into current global crises, specifically genocide and resource exploitation in Sudan (12:57–17:00).
  • She directs listeners to resources and a $2 donation campaign for critical aid.

4. Emotional Check-In and Friendship Rituals

• Kia shares anticipation at reuniting with family, balancing work stress, and prioritizing gratitude and self-care (17:54–18:37).
• The duo transitions to a special “Kitchen Table Talk,” using the Black Girl Hug Experience conversation cards to facilitate honest and fun friendship discussions as an act of collective self-care.

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Kitchen Table Talk: Black Girl Hug Experience Cards (25:01–61:23)

The hosts use three categories—Connect, Thrive, Heal—from this Black woman-centered deck to spark vibrant dialogue. Memorable highlights include:

Dream Homes & Aesthetic Fantasies

• They playfully try to describe each other’s dream homes, emphasizing individual tastes and shared love for cozy, welcoming, and Black-infused spaces.
  • Kia (about Jade): “Warm bungalow, 70s vibes, very lounge aesthetic… you always feel comfortable.”
  • Jade (about Kia): “Contemporary and comfort… sleek, clean, with a movie room and a full walk-in closet.”
• Both see themselves as embodying “Auntie’s doing well” energy. [32:46–34:49]

Reflecting on Healing, Growth, and Perfectionism

• Both share candid struggles with perfectionism, comparison, and the fear of putting imperfect creative work into the world (39:03–49:16).
  • Jade: “I’m in a place of healing how I show up in my work, how I feel about my work, how my work ties into myself…”
  • Kia: “I’m not a niche-down girly… trying to heal from perfectionism and transactional ways of seeing my worth.” [47:01]
• They affirm the power of accountability and mutual support to move through creative blocks and personal evolution.

Friendship Vulnerability & Support

• The cards prompt each to name moments they’ve felt vulnerable with one another, focusing on hard but fruitful conversations and the safety of chosen family (54:07–58:13).
  • Kia: “[I’m] appreciative of the space to talk to Jade about it… and how much I appreciate my chosen family’s patience with me as I work through these things.”

Celebrating Black Sisterhood Rituals

• Jade and Kia agree the Black Girl Hug Experience cards foster important, vulnerable, and even healing conversations—whether for close friends or building new connections.
  • Jade: “We only pulled four cards, and we’re able to have bountiful conversations.” [61:15]

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Self Care Segment (64:03–67:35)

• Kia reads from the 10 self-care tips included with the Black Girl Hug Experience cards, encouraging listeners (and herself) to post them as daily reminders:
  • “Listen to your heart; set gentle boundaries; prioritize your health; celebrate small wins; find your support tribe; create a safe space; practice self-compassion; set aside me time; express your feelings; embrace your identity.”
  • Jade affirms her own self-care practices, such as getting out of her comfort zone and collaborating on new projects as a way forward.

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Petty Peeves (67:44–73:55)

• The segment gets extra lighthearted as Jade laments that “Chinese spots are not giving you hot mustard unless you request it.” [68:15]
• Both hosts get nostalgic for classic NYC Chinese food and reflect on the deep, sometimes hilarious food rituals that evoke home, childhood, and Black regional culture.

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Memorable Quotes

• “It’s a beautiful tragedy, is what it is.” — Jade [07:17]
• “I love the duality and the complexity of millennials… we can be real grey area where we need to be.” — Kia [12:51]
• “Sometimes it’s good to just shake it up.” — Kia [24:44]
• “We only pulled four cards and we’re able to have bountiful conversations.” — Jade [61:15]
• “Support each other at very similar junctures, just in different ways.” — Jade [51:40]
• “We have a lot of appreciation for this space, and… there are still more that we want to do.” — Kia [49:18]

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Engaging Moments & Timestamps

• Reflecting on D’Angelo’s cultural impact: 02:09–07:22
• Generational Black spirituality and humor: 11:14–14:43
• News and activism around Sudan: 12:57–17:00
• Friendship check-in & transition to card game: 17:50–25:01
• “Dream House” card answers: 25:52–34:49
• Healing/procrastination discussion: 39:03–49:16
• Friendship vulnerability: 54:07–59:51
• Petty Peeves – hot mustard & NYC Chinese food: 67:44–73:55

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Final Thoughts

This episode delivers on its title—a true “palette cleanser”—showcasing the healing power of friendship, the joy of nostalgia, and the possibility of self-reflection through playful, vulnerable conversation. Jade and Kia’s dynamic—equal parts humor, honesty, and gentleness—reminds listeners of the vital role Black sisterhood, cultural rituals, and intentional check-ins play in navigating both grief and growth as adults, especially in a world that can feel heavy.

Listeners are left with actionable self-care tips and a sense of communal warmth—the essence of Gettin' Grown.

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For deeper connection or to try the Black Girl Hug Experience cards, visit blackgirlhug.com.

Transcript

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Jade]

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[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I've been in a whole. I've been in the whole. Sister.

[Kia]

We are bereaved. I just keep that in my house. We are bereaved.

[Jade]

We are, we are, we are. With sads. We are of emotion. Wow. This was. What? Like, I know we discussed it last week, but.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

You know, even a week later, it's still like, damn Angelo with us physically.

[Kia]

And I haven't felt this kind of grief for somebody that I don't know since, like, Chadwick Boseman.

[Jade]

Oh, that made me sad. That made me very sad. And who made me very sad. We've lost so many people. Let me.

[Kia]

It's been a. It's been quite a few. I feel like, you know, because we keep losing folks, but I feel like, you know, there is. There is. There is like a kinship. I don't know. I don't know what it feels like, but I feel like I. Like d', Angelo is. Is a. Is core to my.

[Jade]

Yeah, my.

[Kia]

I feel like my teenage years in my 20s, like, you cannot have that conversation without D'. Angelo. It's.

[Jade]

No.

[Kia]

It's what? No, you're.

[Jade]

No, no, no, no, no. Like, I thought about xd. Because XD knows the exact time, place, everything about when. When Untitled dropped as a video. Yeah, he speaks about this often, my boy. Be like at 12:43am on Pacific Standard Time. Yeah, I was in my crispy pale blue pajamas.

[Kia]

It is.

[Jade]

Whatever the details are, it is in his memory of when that video dropped.

[Kia]

I remember.

[Jade]

We remember Jamie Foxx show. When Jamie Foxx did the Untitled parody with that horrible Tyler Perry wig.

[Kia]

It broke the Internet in such a. I mean, before there was a sense of, of the concept of viral. Like, that was. That was one of the things that was just like. I'm sorry, what? I remember. I remember where I was. I remember where I was when I saw it. I remember I could see myself watching it and like just the. How stunned, stuck and in. In lustful awe I was.

[Jade]

I said, that's what you've been looking like under those clothes, under those brown leather jackets and. Well, excuse me.

[Kia]

What? Excuse me.

[Jade]

He said, girl, it's only you. I said, it is.

[Kia]

I said, correct. Please continue. That's what I said. Hello?

[Jade]

Yes, I'm Will decide. Okay. I just. We just love us Michael Archer. And he is. Oh, my Lord. Just. And then I love how things are popping up. You know, we got. I forgot about his Prince tribute that he did when Prince passed. And so, you know, it's beautiful reminders, new antidotes that we didn't know. I saw an interview from Raphael Sadiq I'd never seen before where he was talking about the first time of the meeting. And that's when they worked on lady because lady was supposed to be a Tony. Tony, Tony song.

[Kia]

Oh, wow.

[Jade]

The rest of the members of the group weren't with the concept in the song. Sounded different than what it sounded like once d' Angelo did it. But they weren't. They weren't really. It was a throwaway. And so he and d', Angelo, he played it for him. They. They riffed back and forth with different things and that's how they came up with what we know as Lady. And so I'm just, I'm loving, I'm loving getting all of this lore and these reminders, but it's also heavy.

[Kia]

It hasn't. Yes. It's been good though, to sort of get lost because I think this is one of the benefits of Tick Tock. You know, you could just sort of like I've. I've really, like you said, get lost in the lore.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Seeing these old interviews, old clips.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

It's like I get to re. I get to I get to get to know him all over again. And you know, but again, the weight of his absence, this is definitely going to be heavy and. And very much felt for a really long time. And so we're still thinking about his children and. And everybody that loved him for sure.

[Jade]

It's a short, potent list because d' Angelo didn't fool with too many people.

[Kia]

Now and that's why we love him.

[Jade]

Right. And okay, I love a discerning king. We love. He didn't have a discerning human in general. But yeah, he said, I don't know.

[Kia]

Y' all doing over there, Please, I don't have time.

[Jade]

That's what Raphael Siddiq said in that interview. He goes, he was expecting a bunch of people and he walked into a two bedroom house and he said, I don't really like that many people. He go, I don't either, brother. So. And a friendship was born.

[Kia]

That's good. I know.

[Jade]

So shout out to the Aquarius, Aquarius King, Michael Archer. We just continue to speak. I think this might be the first time we've. It's gone two weeks in a row with a loss because it's just like horrible. Oh, gosh. But I am grateful for all of the beautiful gifts that we did receive from him and all of the things that will continue to live on. All of the young musicians who are hearing him for the first time that he's going to inspire and you know what I'm saying, Like, this is. It's a. It's a. It's a beautiful. It's a beautiful tragedy is what it is.

[Kia]

And so the artistry, the musicianship. I feel like his sound was so.

[Jade]

Sick.

[Kia]

Attention and you know, y' all don't. I mean, the girls that get it, get it. But there has always been sort of this sort of under foundational churchy to d'.

[Jade]

Angelo.

[Kia]

Okay. And the girls that get it, really get it very much.

[Jade]

And Raphael, both of them.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

Because that's together.

[Kia]

Oh, that clip from. I think it might have been a print, that Prince tribute. But that clip where they were singing.

[Jade]

Yeah, yeah, I think that was. It might have been a Dave Chappelle show. I can't remember. But it was when they got to. When they. They started doing. They started like bouncing and quickening and all kinds of. I was like, go ahead.

[Kia]

That's. You know, am I kind of carrying?

[Jade]

Okay. I think about you often.

[Kia]

Oh, you know, I live and I.

[Jade]

My.

[Kia]

One of my favorite memories. And y' all might get a laugh out of this because I had to call my mama. I said, you remember that time when I was in high school and you threw away all my voodoo stuff? Remember when you came in my room and talk about, get this mess out of here. You threw all my stuff in the trash? Yes. What?

[Jade]

No.

[Kia]

I said, yeah, remember when you were.

[Jade]

Not the voodoo ridiculous. First of all, that was a full no Skips album.

[Kia]

Rhonda went through the house and thought, I don't know. I said, well, you thought I was practicing voodoo because of this album. Are you mad? Are you out of your mind? But, yeah, she wants to have a.

[Jade]

Conversation about black people scared of voodoo.

[Kia]

She threw all that stuff away, and I just went and repurchased it. But either way, I had to tell her that. I said, girl, you remember that? And she was like, you remember when you did that to me at high school? Well, that young man has gone on to be with Jesus. She was like, really? I said, yes, Ma, we are bereaved. He has passed very suddenly and very tragically. I said, well, it was, you know, dealing with pancreatic cancer, and we just didn't know it. But, yes, he has gone on to be with the Lord. And you made me throw his seat. You threw his CD in the trash. Now do you feel bad about it.

[Jade]

Is what I want to know? Yeah. How do you feel? And she's like, I don't remember.

[Kia]

So I have no recollection. But I am very.

[Jade]

So much parenting over these years.

[Kia]

Threw away so many of your things. That is correct. That's.

[Jade]

My memory is a miss. You were a heathen so often that.

[Kia]

I. I said I was not. I said, mom, you got to stop being so triggered.

[Jade]

I told you, my mother used to. I used to listen to my discip. And my mother would be like, can you listen to your filth when you get out of my car? And I was like, n. I'm g. Listen to it now.

[Kia]

I. I must say. But you know what I say? You know, I was. I put on my Instagram stories on the Peloton. They have, like, music based classes and, you know, the K Pop. The Demon Hunters. Every time I see it, I be.

[Jade]

Like, absolutely not, sister. Let me tell you. No. You sleeping on K Pop Demon Hunters, the music slops.

[Kia]

Yes. Our sister Ohio. Nikki was like, no, girl.

[Jade]

And I was like, I don't care. She was like, I know, girl.

[Kia]

Calm down. She had to put me on. And. And my friend Kim also. Everyone was like, calm down, Rhonda. I was like, well, you know. You know, I'm So sorry, but I just get upset. I just need the devil to know that he's not welcome in my home. That's what I need him to know. He's not welcome here. He's got to get. And he's aware.

[Jade]

He's aware. He's aware. I'm so glad.

[Kia]

I'm so glad.

[Jade]

Excuse me, sir. Stop at that doorstep like a vampire. You must be invited in here and you are not.

[Kia]

That's.

[Jade]

But yeah, Sister, it's so funny to watch our generation be not just adults because what a concept. But it's just to watch like those adults, like even me, I'd be over here sometimes out of body. Like my friend is super churchy. Look at my friend. Yeah, my friend said no demonic up in here.

[Kia]

Not a drop. But it's amazing. I know that about myself. But I think I love the duality and, and the complexity of millennials. I feel like millennials are the first generation that embody that in such a way because I, they're, they're the parts of me that are actually, you know, very front core to my upbringing. Bring it into church like that. That is also true. But I'm also one of the people who has been openly critical of some of the problematic ways that church.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

So I think, you know, that's the part, you know, that's the part that I think our generation has found some, that's our lane. I think we found some language and some comfort in that space. We, we very much can, can operate in the duality. Shout out to our sister said around the way curls.

[Jade]

Absolutely. But yeah, I, I agree this is.

[Kia]

A duality in ways that I feel like other generations have struggled. They've been very black and white. We can be real gray area where.

[Jade]

We need to be.

[Kia]

And I think.

[Jade]

Absolutely. I think it's also more information. I think there is more of a, of a, a spirit of acceptance of people exploring their own modalities of spirituality as well. With our generation, whereas before it was a lot of fear based operation which literally, let's be clear, that's not a criticism that was by design. But I think there's a bit more of a freedom and exploration and willingness to accept people's ex, you know, people's explor. Not just exploration, but also what they choose to accept as their level of spirituality. And so yeah, I love us as a generation larger.

[Kia]

It's a larger system of fear because I will also argue that a lot of that fear based has also existed it with supremacy.

[Jade]

White supremacy for sure.

[Kia]

Like that's the. That's the water we're all swimming in. That's the water we're all swimming.

[Jade]

Sorry. No, no, no.

[Kia]

Like that's. That's the water we're all swimming in. And this idea that like any level of questioning is seen as defiance, you know, that's not love, that's control, you.

[Jade]

Know, or disrespect, you know, everything you say. Yeah, disrespect. And it's like.

[Kia]

Exactly.

[Jade]

Me disagreeing with you is not disrespectful.

[Kia]

That's right. That's right. So I do feel like we are. We have language and capacity that I don't know. And I'm not saying it doesn't exist in other generations, but I've not seen it. Hello? Not in my house.

[Jade]

No, no. Yet to be discovered.

[Kia]

Yeah, but we're, you know, we're trailblazing.

[Jade]

We're trailblazing.

[Kia]

We're going through there. Take me through there. Take me through there.

[Jade]

Okay, take me there. I want to go there.

[Kia]

Come on, Maya.

[Jade]

You know, news this week is short. I want to direct you all to Sarah BS on blast page. Hey, Sarah. She does a really nice brief comprehensive breakdown of gold. And remember we've mentioned beforehand how the rsf, who's funded by the uae, which is going against the Sudanese armed forces, a lot of this is inspirational, inspired because of gold and greed. So she does a really beautiful breakdown of those connections. And so I would like to direct you all over there. You know, as the genocide is continuing and as it is not slowing down by any means, please go and continue to, you know, to tap into those resources. And we're going to have some more in depth conversations coming up with some different guests regarding not just actual genocide, but what a lot of these, A lot of these forces of power, what this really means, tapping into the resilience of the people of the land, etc, etc. So I'm looking forward to more of those conversations. But yes, I'd like to direct you all over to Sarah's page to really check out that information. She also has an initiative going where she's asking for $2 per person. And this is for a very specific donation to provide some very much needed resources. I can't talk. Do I smell toast? And so. Oh my Lord. So, so yes, please go check that out. And that's where I'm going to keep news at for this week because our country is on fire, shut down, being run by monkeys. And actually, I think that's a disrespect to Monkeys. It's just a mess. That is.

[Kia]

That is a fact. A big fact.

[Jade]

Shout out to Takia Blackwell last week.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

In our conversation around suicide awareness, especially with us as a people, I really appreciated the fact that the conversation was had in a very palatable way and did not feel heavy, even though the content itself is heavy. And so, you know, it's heavy, but it's.

[Kia]

It's real and it's true. It's reality for a lot of people. And so I think I love the work that Takia is doing with black people die by suicide, too. So shout out to her. And, you know, thanks again for being on. We really value the, the space, you know, and, and the awareness that you're bringing to such a very real part of our experience as a people. Absolutely, Absolutely.

[Jade]

Absolutely. How are you doing? I don't think I asked you that.

[Kia]

I'm doing okay. I am. I'm. I'm hanging in. I'm. I am excited. I'm going to get to see my DDA and my mom tomorrow. I haven't seen them in a little while, and so I am looking forward to laying my eyes on my guy.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And I, I'm excited about getting to see him. So I'm doing okay. Work has been a very heavy week, but, you know, I'm grateful and, and, you know, safe. I have what I need and I'm just, you know, you just. We just keep on, keep on moving. Don't stop. That's it.

[Jade]

Just keep on trucking. Got to get your good loving. Okay. All right, well, yeah, let's head over to our kitchen table. Well, we're gonna, we're gonna have us a light episode this week and play a game that Kia found that I'm very excited to play. You know what I'm saying? We had a, we had a necessary but heavy conversation last week. We've got some, some really awesome upcoming guests. I'm really excited for this season of guests that we've already started with and we'll continue to have. So it's just the, just the two of us this week, and we're going to play us live. So play with us.

[Kia]

All right, let's do it. Emmy award winner in the Bronx own Kerry Washington returns as Dr. Virginia Edwards in Audible's heart pounding supernatural thriller The Prophecy Season 2.

[Jade]

Also starring Giancarlo Esposito, Dulay Hill, Rinzi Felice and Ebony Obsidian. The battle between good and evil reaches new heights in this action packed sequel that pits faith against fear and pushes the fate of humankind to the edge.

[Kia]

Follow every twist and turn as Virginia and her miracle son Joshua flee from Detroit, pursued by the sinister Luther Bell, played by Giancarlo Esposito and his Morning Stars cult.

[Jade]

With her estranged husband Ryan and Moses Dulay Hill, a devotee with a mysterious past, Virginia finds unlikely allies in Samson and Delilah. Together, they uncover the truth about Joshua's place in ancient prophecy. Each perilous step of their journey is guided by Virginia's haunting visions, while Bell's force closes in, threatening to tear their worlds apart.

[Kia]

As natural disasters erupt, Virginia must embrace her role as both mother and chosen protector.

[Commercial Announcer]

But will it all be too late?

[Jade]

Evil is rising and time is running out. Do not miss Kerry Washington and Audible's new must listen the Prophecy season two. Go to audible.com prophecy2 that's the number two. And start listening today.

[Commercial Announcer]

Have you met AllModern? AllModern brings you the best of modern furniture and decor all in one place. Save up to 70% during their biggest sale of the year. Update your space with modern dining tables, chairs and more. All on sale at Allmodern, a Wayfair specialty brand. Plus get fast and free delivery. That's modern made simple. Shop the big sale of the year October 26th through 29th online at allmodern.com.

[Kia]

Cooler days call for layers that last and Quince is your go to for quality essentials that feel cozy, look refined and won't blow your budget. Think 50 Mongolian cashmere premium denim that fits like a dream and luxe outerwear you'll wear year after year. They're wool coats. They look designer level but cost a fraction of the price. Because Quince partners directly with top tier ethical factories and cuts out the middlemen, they deliver luxury quality pieces at half the price of similar brands. It's the kind of wardrobe upgrade that feels smart, stylish and effortless. I have become a quince babe here recently. I'm into their 100% genuine leather jackets. I have them in black and brown. Also very recently got into some of them cashmere cardigans and chunky sweaters. We live for those. Also I you know, as we're in these transitional seasons, I'm really into their silk. I have a couple of their silk skirts that you can pair with the cashmere for a fall moment. I got a lot of things in my cart. Okay. They've been getting me through especially for workwear that is also transitions and plays very nicely with the other clothes in your wardrobe. I'm a quince babe. Love it Love it.

[Jade]

Love it.

[Kia]

Find your fall staples at quints. Go to quince.com grown for free shipping on your order and 365 days returns. Now available in Canada too. That's Q-U-I-N c-e.com grown to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com grown. You know, I, you know, often peruse the Internet and I say often that the, those apps, the shop app, PayPal, they get me every time because, you know, you can purchase things very quickly. You don't got to go and get the card out the bag. You don't got to memorize no numbers. Everything gets in there and just within seconds you're spinning up your money. But this time I saw this on Instagram and I thought that it was good and I wanted to support this black owned brand. It's a website called blackgirlhug.com and on the Black Girl Hug, they share cards. These are the Black Girl Hug experience cards. And they are conversation cards that are perfect for close friends or new friendships that are ready to grow deeper. This deck is a beautiful way. Yeah, this deck is a beautiful way to bond with your mother, sisters, daughters and friends. Each card is designed to create safe, vulnerable moments that strengthen your relationships, share your experiences, learn new things about each other, and build a foundation of trust through meaningful conversations. This is not really a game. It's more of a journey to forming deeper connections and an unshakable sisterhood. So I thought this was a really good idea. A lot of times, you know, you know, there are times when in relationship we always have things to talk about, but other times, you know, we need a little help sort of having necessary conversations or, you know, even. We, like me and Jay, talk all the time. Every week. More, more than once a week. But, you know, we have a routine of how we sort of check in with each other. And there are things, but, you know, sometimes it's good to just shake it up. And so I thought that these cards were a good way to sort of foster some new conversation for us. I love them. And so I thought we could play a little bit there. There are different kinds. They're cards for connect, thrive and heal.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

And I think it's also worth noting that, like, healing doesn't necessarily mean that something is broken. Healing could be about just creating, like broken within the relationship. Like, healing could just also be about creating space for us to talk about something that heals something within ourselves. So I thought we could pick a couple of cards and have and try them out online on the air and, you know, test drive this thing. So is there. Is there one category you want to start with? Heal, thrive, or connect?

[Jade]

Let's start with connect first. Awesome one from connect.

[Kia]

Okay. I love this because I feel like it's mash for grown people.

[Jade]

Oh, I love that. Oh, okay. All right.

[Kia]

I do.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

I feel like the questions, like, you know. Cause I say that, like, okay, this question said, what would your dream house look like? Now I want you to answer, but I feel like I know what Jade is going to say because I.

[Jade]

Okay. I want to hear your guests first.

[Kia]

I know Jade's aesthetic. Well, I. Okay. Because remember, sis, I tell you all the time, every time I go into a space that looks like Jade, I'm always like, sis, this room looks like you. Don't I call you?

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

When we were at restaurants, I take video decor. When we were in Spain, I would. When we were in Spain, we were in Paris. I would video the room and send it to Jade. Like, bitch, this looks like your living room.

[Jade]

This is you. This is totally you.

[Kia]

So Jade. Jade's house gives like. Like, first of all, it's very 70s, very, like, very, like bungalow. Like moody bungalow. Lots of warm, toned, but lots of fabric, lots of draping. And all of the furniture is wood. It's wicker. It is. It is very lived in. It's return.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

Or.

[Jade]

Or mid century modern.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Because I like.

[Kia]

But it very. It gives a little. It's a more modern. It's an elevated. Very black, but also very much gives like Brady Bunch vibes. Like. Okay, yes. You see what I'm saying? But you're on.

[Jade]

You're on the path. You're on the path.

[Kia]

Yes, yes. And listen, I love how it expands and I love when. I love to just watch Jade enjoy things because I can. We've also been together in traveling or just sort of like living life. And I know when Jade enters the room and loves it here, like, because her posture changes, she starts to take in the space. You can see her noticing the details and, you know, literally making note of things. So this is what I think of. I think of sort of warm bungalow. Think very like, like 70s vibe. It gets very lounge aesthetic, lived in, lots of character. But please.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

Let me know if I'm close or if I. Oh, no. What am I missing?

[Jade]

You're. You're on the money. There's just a few of the details of things that I. Now, I don't know what this looks like in practice, but some of my dream aesthetics for my personal dream home. I love a ranch style home.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I like a big open concept. I think that is lovely. And there's different parts to discover, but we don't have the frustration and filth of stairs. Then a sunken living room. Because. Yes, I don't love nothing more than a 60s, 70s, mod, madman, whatever.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Style, mid century sunken living room. Okay. So that would be a part of it. I also love like Spanish tiles that you find often in Mexico. Yes. I know they're part of colonialism, but I do love the aesthetic of them. And so I would want that in my kitchen. Lots of stone in the kitchen, you know, lots of terracotta. I love terracotta. And then a lot, a lot, a lot of natural sunlight because y' all know I love the plants and so I need the natural sunlight to come in. But also. So I wanted to feel cozy. You, you walking into your, you know, you're walking into your quintessential family members house where it's like you always feel comfortable. You feel comfortable chilling. You never feel like you're in the way. You know what I'm saying? But it's not intimidating either.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

That's my. That's probably like portions of my dream home very now for years.

[Kia]

Patterns, very much textures like Jade is going to have. I love texture that is like, like beaded walls and things. I very much think of that. But. Yes, yes, yes.

[Jade]

But it has to be also in a way where it can be cleaned easily. Okay. Not for you.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Kia is clean. Okay. She like a clean aesthetic. Very rare. Yeah. So I see a contemporary home also. Lots of natural light, but the ability to block out all of that natural light at the drop of a button. Similar to your home now, but just more modern, more contemporary. Bigger windows. I. Everything is sleek and clean. So the couch is. I either see you with a black couch like you have or a white couch.

[Kia]

Oh, yes, very comfortable.

[Jade]

You might have two rooms, one of each, actually. I see you with also. Maybe you've got fraternal twins set couches. You know what I'm saying? White one is obviously scotch guarded.

[Kia]

Because I love a couch in the living. I love a couch or like a seating area in the bedroom. I want, you know, you know, like you work it. Lounge, but not necessarily in the bed.

[Jade]

Yes, exactly. Kia is a combination of contemporary and comfort because you don't want any rooms that you can't sit and lounge in.

[Kia]

Because you like to.

[Jade]

You want to lounge. You want to lounge hard. I also see you With a movie room. Because TV is like your. It is your teddy bear, it is your blanket, it is your blue vest.

[Kia]

My emotional support.

[Jade]

I feel like I see you with a theater room so that you can watch TV in all of its. TV watching.

[Kia]

Sounds glorious to me. The only thing that I would add is I. Yes. Very contemporary. Very.

[Jade]

Oh, wait, hold on. Also, you must have a room as a full walk in closet. So you're clearly.

[Kia]

That's what I was going to say.

[Jade]

With a seated area, you know what I'm saying? Like, but like not a walk in closet, a room.

[Kia]

It looks like I needed to give like a store. I want my. My closet to feel like I am shopping my own clothes.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Kia]

I want it to be beautifully organized and, you know, designed. I want it to be functional but very, very esthetically pleasing. So the only thing I would add. Modern. Yes. Contemporary. Yes. Very clean chic. I like more modern than traditional, for sure. But yeah, the only thing, the only adjective I would add is just a touch of glamour. Darling, I want you.

[Jade]

Yeah. Yes. Also. Yes.

[Kia]

Just a touch of luxury. You have to.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

You know, it gives Auntie. Yes, Auntie is doing well. That's. I wanted to give. Auntie's doing well.

[Jade]

She's comfortable like aunties of the late 90s would. Yeah. You've seen the video with the girl where she's like how many plates, how many decorates. I see that feed. But like not tacky.

[Kia]

Not tacky.

[Jade]

You know what I'm saying? Like, there will be some core. No, no, no, no, no. But no, there's gonna be some clean lighting, but there's gonna be some chandelier lighting too.

[Kia]

Yes. And I love, you know, I love a backlit tv. I like.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

Mood lighting. I want to be able to program, know what I'm saying? For what I'm giving. So. Yes, but you, you're right. I love a floor to to ceiling window, but it's got to have, you know, the blackout curtain, blackout blind situation. Because when I don't want that. I don't want that. But when I love full natural. But yes, you're very right on the money. Very much so. Like my own home. But I think the dream home is like this home, but bigger.

[Jade]

Yes, yeah, exactly. With like more of the stuff. You need a. You need a gym area. Oh, you need a gym area, a workout area. And you need. You're gonna have, you know, where the glam will come in, but also the clean your office.

[Kia]

Yes. It's gonna be a blanket, beautiful office space. For sure. And workout space. But I like. To your point, I also love not just the closet, but I want, like, a beautiful, like, makeup, like, you know, dressing area so that I can not only organize my makeup space, but, you know, that that's also very much a lot of the ways that I play. Like, you know, we. Yeah. You know, this is how my. This is where I can create. I think a lot of ways my therapist is like, what do. What do you do for play? And it's like, oh, I'll. You know, I'll just do my makeup for fun or I'll color. You know, I need space to create. So any sort of space to create is. It's also a piece of the. Of the dream.

[Jade]

You remember when Naldo brought that makeup to the Airbnb for Asante's birthday and that set up a Sephora in the bathroom? It was impressive. This is not sharing.

[Kia]

It was. No, it was very impressive.

[Jade]

Impressive. That's why I imagine that. I imagine that's your vanity would be that on steroids. I see it also where you can enclose the case so that you have.

[Kia]

To be put away your brushes.

[Jade]

But. Yes. But also it won't collect dust.

[Kia]

No.

[Jade]

Because you have a way of making sure it's protected. But you can always go and play at the drop of a dime.

[Kia]

Yes. That's it, sister. You got it. Okay. You got it. That was fun. Okay, I'm gonna pick one.

[Jade]

Let's go to throw.

[Kia]

Let's go to Thrive. Oh, this is asking hers ballots or Summer Walker's heartbreak anthems. I. I guess they're asking us to choose. I would have to say. I don't really know. Yeah, I would have to say her because I don't want to deal with her.

[Jade]

Summer Walker is sad. She makes me sad every time.

[Kia]

I'm concerned for her. I'm concerned for her. But. But again, let me try. This might be for the younger Shea Moisture.

[Jade]

Her is. I know her is a musician. That I will say in all fairness. She's a musician. She is talent. Do I regularly go listen to her music? No. But I know I would never, ever, ever diminish the talent. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no.

[Kia]

So if you had to pick between Black Panther and Wakanda Forever, which one would you pick?

[Jade]

Black Panther.

[Kia]

Oh, you like the original?

[Jade]

Yeah. Wakanda Forever was nice. I don't remember it as much.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And, you know, I just like, it's not the same without Chad.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

So very true.

[Kia]

I would have to agree with you there. I liked Wakanda Forever. I was horribly triggered. But the part that it triggered, that did relate to the more that I watched it. So, like, Shuri missing her brother, that. That took me out the first hour of the movie. I was just sort of like, what is happening? Get me out of here. I know, but it was.

[Jade]

It was.

[Kia]

It was.

[Jade]

It was. Yeah, yeah, it was.

[Kia]

I was just like, whoa. I should. I should have known, but I just wasn't ready. But I was.

[Jade]

Chadwick, you. I love Chadwick because he has such a good. He has such a good energy about himself. You could tell he didn't take himself too seriously. Because I feel like if I ever had the opportunity to interview him, I would have asked him, what do you think your most boring movie was? Because I know what I think it is. Jackie Robinson, hands down.

[Kia]

You didn't like it?

[Jade]

I did not like it. It was boring.

[Kia]

Did you like. Did you like Marshall?

[Jade]

Marshall was cool. Marshall was cool. Jackie Robinson was cool. It was boring. It was just boring.

[Kia]

I think it was. I think it was too long. I think 42 was too long. I think.

[Jade]

Oh, 42. Was that what. Yeah, you're right.

[Kia]

Yeah. I think we could have. We could have. There. There was a. I think they drug it out a little bit too much.

[Jade]

Maybe that's what it was.

[Kia]

It's. It was not a lack of talent. I think he did an excellent job playing the role, but.

[Jade]

Oh, absolutely. That's never.

[Kia]

It was just a lot of. It was a lot of story.

[Jade]

I. If I ever have the opportunity. Oh, God. Hold him in bubble wrap. If I ever had the opportunity to interview Stevie, I'd say, what do you think your worst song is? Cuz I know what my top three are like, and I am a.

[Kia]

Come on, you got three. Go ahead.

[Jade]

Jungle Fever. Happy birthday. Even though I fully understand the sentiment inducing it as well, I do not believe it's your best work.

[Kia]

And Jungle Fever is absolutely my number one.

[Jade]

Jungle Fever is number one. Never the two.

[Kia]

I would totally align with you. Right.

[Jade]

Never the two. And I'll think about my third, but I'm sure there's one more. Yeah.

[Kia]

Yeah, I love that. Okay.

[Jade]

Sorry, that's. Back to the car.

[Kia]

No. Okay. I picked from the heel.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

What's a part of yourself you're still working to heal? And how can I support you in that?

[Jade]

Oh, wow. It's part of myself that I'm still working to heal. And how can you help me with that? Well, there's a couple.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Jade]

My patience. I am trying to heal my patients. I. I say that as opposed to work on. I'm trying to. But yes, we're trying to heal our. Or lack of patience, should I say? Yeah, let me see. I think. Okay, so. Okay, Interesting. So I was having a conversation with a friend earlier about some upcoming projects that I want to do for, you know, and I was once upon a time gonna pitch and, you know, try to get funding and blah, blah, blah. And that's not to say that that's still not going to happen, but I also recognize the direction that the world has gone. I recognize my own apathy in some of my work because of the state of the world and. And losing joy in certain aspects, etc. Etc. And I realized that I had started viewing things that I love not as a burden, but just kind of like, you know what I mean? Like, and I should not start a project myself. Going into it with the. And I realized part of that was because I didn't. You know, you don't always. You. Sometimes you go into things with a very clear vision. Doesn't mean it always comes out that way. But sometimes you go into things with a very clear vision and sometimes you don't know what it's going to look like at all. And I realized I didn't know what this was supposed to look like. I just know what I wanted to do.

[Kia]

Right.

[Jade]

And so this is going somewhere. And so I'm with you. I'm talking to my friend and she's like, let me produce it. Like, let me produce and direct and help you. And I'm like, huh? And we had been saying we were going to do something together at some point, but we never figured out what that something was. And it all, like, it felt like things would just started like a. Something had broken and started coming together. Like somebody found the glue. The pieces weren't all stuck small like you could. It's repairable. And then expanded the thought even more so. And I was like, I needed somebody who knew me and understood, understands how my brain works, my life's experiences and all those things, and how I want to pour that intention into the work that I do, no matter what that particular work is.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And then also the field that she's in. And so it just. It was a beautiful, like, coming together. Now there's full plans. And then I also realized I was like, I don't put a lot of my food content out there because part of it is laziness. I hate setting up a camera. I just be. I just, I'm. It's me in the phone. Just be like, ah, you know her, but. Because I need her. But I also don't. She's not my favorite person.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And anybody who knows me knows that not doing the phone, including filming things. And then, you know, I start getting caught up in my own details of like, well, this don't look right on this. And then I can't film for, like, I have no angles. Like, I am angle blind. Y' all don't even understand. Like, my friends have confirmed you have to try.

[Kia]

You have to keep doing it to get better.

[Jade]

My food photos, Crystal, Fran, Kia looked and said, oh, Jade, this is horrible. I said, I know. I'm a self aware. So. So then that turns me off. It's a whole to do. I just needed help in doing it right. And also I was like, you cannot use things that are out there as your reference points because that's not what you're trying to do.

[Kia]

You have to build from you. Yeah.

[Jade]

So that is something that I am healing and work or working, whatever is.

[Kia]

Yes.

[Jade]

Getting comfortable in the space of operating in a way that feels fully integral to myself.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And honors myself and not to get all woo with it. You know what I'm saying? I was like, because gotta eat. I don't want you. But y' all already took Tabitha's words when she told you to go get a job. And you know, I'm very much a part of a part of the get a job crew. But also, I have worked all the jobs and I've. I've lived all the experience experiences so that I could do this in this way for sure. And also make sure I don't lose sight of the love that I have for these things. And I don't know if I'm articulating all of this correctly, but these are things that I'm working on. These are things that I've been thinking of, have come up in conversation, come up in thought. And I. I don't fully know what that looks like shaped out, but that is the, the direction.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

In. And also how I've been operating. I feel like, you know, like, I think about these podcasts even, you know, and I haven't tried to emulate personalities that are out there. This is. This has been our voices, our experiences. And there is a reason why even as the, as the podcast world has become so oversaturated, you know, there's. There's something to say for doing almost a decade here and over a decade over there of consistency and like, you know, storytelling and all kinds of things. So, yeah, I'm in a place of healing. How I show up in my work, how I feel about my work, how my work ties into myself and, and, and feeling good about what I'm pouring my time and energy into. Especially because everything else is on fire and fucking sucks. So why not pour into something that I love in a way that feels good to me?

[Kia]

Yeah, I, I hear that. And I mean, I'm just listening to you thinking as we were, as we were getting ready to record.

[Jade]

Sorry, that was a lot of process. That was a lot processing.

[Kia]

No, no, that was necessary processing out loud. I don't want you to apologize for that because I was just thinking like, you know, we, we seem to be synced up in a lot of ways because I think similarly, you know, I think we, like you said, we've been doing this show for close to 10 years and it has been beautiful for us to sort of co create this space. I will say for myself, I think similar to you. I know that there are things that I have wanted to do or continue to want to do. But you know, like you, I get caught in this sort of analysis paralysis, overthinking, you know, caught up in perfectionism. I struggle with comparison. Not from the place of like wanting to be somebody else, but I want to also produce things that are, you know, reflect the sort of standard of excellence and quality that I see in people's content that I very much respect. And so, you know, I get it. But that, that's a thin line between sort of that and like, oh, this is not good enough. I've never put it out.

[Jade]

Jay will tell you mine don't look like this or whatever the case is.

[Kia]

They will tell you I've been recording content for over a year, but have been afraid. XD will tell you I've there, I have, I have Google Drive worth, I mean, hundreds and thousands of moments of content that I have been just sort of like in this scary space of I don't know what this is like you were saying. We were saying it was like really resonated with me because it's like I know that I don't really. A struggle for me is that I don't fit into any one box. Right.

[Jade]

Yeah, same.

[Kia]

There are things that I am feel very passionate about that are different and I think that the, you know, I think about our sis, Jessica Rose. I talked to her about this because I feel like the Internet is a space that often pushes you to niche down and choose a lane.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

And I'M not a niche. Down, girl.

[Jade]

That's not how life works.

[Kia]

Yeah, I'm not a niche. I'm not a niche. Down, girly. Like, I want to show up fully as myself. And as we were talking about even last week, like, I think one of the things that I am healing from and, you know, working on, working on healing is like, you know, releasing the perfectionism, the hyper productivity. I feel like I'm realizing that that is grounded in this space of proving and me just trying, you know, you know, me sort of working out worth and thinking about worth and value in very transactional way. And so healing from that and seeing how that has sort of informed and shaped the ways that I move and limited me in terms of what I'm creating how, and whether it's good enough. And so, you know, I think, like you, I've been thinking a lot about, like, you know, trying to get out of my own way, not really knowing how what I want to build is going to take shape, but not letting, you know, not letting that stop me from starting.

[Jade]

From starting the process. Exactly, exactly. You gotta begin somewhere.

[Kia]

You have to start and be for sure. And being willing to not be perfect at something or, you know, being bad at something first. Like, it's okay for me to learn how to do things. I think I want my first, My first videos, my first content to be perfect. And it's like nobody's first. Anything is perfect. You know what I'm saying? People who do this, whatever you do, you started from somewhere. You just got to start. And so I think you and I are very much aligned in that way of trying to get out of our own way and out of our own head. And while we value and very much have invested a lot of who we are in building this beautiful space, and we have a lot of appreciation for this space and are still committed to it, there are still more for us to. That we want to do.

[Jade]

Yes, absolutely.

[Kia]

And, you know, trying to find a way to pursue those things and, and to be willing to build those things out. And I'm. I'm finding. I'm trying to, you know, I'm finding that. I think that's one of the things I'm trying to heal from this fear of. Of, you know, embarrassing myself or failing or any of that. You know what I'm saying? Just being. Being willing to take a chance on what I feel like is in me to do whatever that means, however that takes shape. Not having all the answers and also, like, giving myself permission to, you know, try and grow and all. All of that. So that's something that I'm working on healing from. And, you know, also just radical authenticity, I think, you know, healing from what we were talking about before. Those transactional ways of being love, being transactional. Me feeling like I have to earn things, or me feeling like I can do something, like anything that I'm do, that I will do or can do is going to change. Moving out of the space of sort of fear and just standing fully in who I am, speaking up for myself and what I want and what I. What I. What I think and trusting that that is good enough. Trusting that. That, you know, that that is it in and of itself. That is. I am me. I am enough all by myself, you know, and so, you know, I think. I think while we are doing it in our own ways, I'm grateful that we can know that we're both moving in these directions. And now that I know this, you know, I'm. I'm excited about supporting you and ask. Asking you how things are going, asking you how can I help? Asking you, you know, just get into the space where we are ideating, bouncing ideas off of each other.

[Jade]

Yep.

[Kia]

I'm excited about that.

[Jade]

Also. Accountability, like what you do with this. You got all this in here. Did you put it in the drive?

[Kia]

Yeah. You know, yeah.

[Jade]

All of that kind of stuff, so legit that I think those are the ways that we can support. Support each other at very similar junctures, you know, just in different ways.

[Kia]

Exciting.

[Jade]

All right, let's do one more from the last category.

[Kia]

Okay, well, I'll do another one from Heel, and then that'll wrap it up.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Kia]

Ava DuVernay's Queen Sugar or Mara Broca kills the game. Boy, that's a doozy.

[Jade]

Queen. Queen Sugar. Because the game is really not a great show. It just. We watched it out of support.

[Kia]

We love Mara.

[Jade]

We love you, Mara. Yeah, Very much so. You know, I got some. Some thoughts, but I do. All in all, it's all a support and love. I do.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Yeah. Anyway, anywho, that's not why we're here.

[Kia]

The question. Okay. Oh, is there something you've wanted to thank me for but never have?

[Jade]

Oh, I've ever wanted to thank you for, but never have. Well, I would say no, because I.

[Kia]

I feel like I live here.

[Jade]

Yeah. About. Hey, especially with gratitude. Yeah. Next question.

[Kia]

Okay, I'll pick another. When was a time you felt completely vulnerable with me and how did I respond?

[Jade]

Oh, oh. All the time.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I mean, yeah, I'm like All the time. Yeah, I think, oh, maybe when we've had challenges in the past because, okay, we. We don't talk enough. I think about. Not we, but, you know, everybody about. We talk about transparent conversations. We've talked about challenges in friendship, we've talked about. About communication challenges. But I think a lot of times we don't think about expressing challenges and how vulnerable that is, especially within friendship for various reasons. It depends on the individuals and so forth and so on. And so I think that's another layer of vulnerability and intimacy when is not all good and you have to talk through it. It. Because you got to put it out there in order for you all to be all good. And so I think that might be some of the moments I felt the most vulnerable with you. Yeah, yeah, I think, I think that would be my answer.

[Kia]

How did I respond?

[Jade]

I mean, we still here, so.

[Kia]

Yeah, fair. Totally fair.

[Jade]

So they, they. They've always been forward moving and fruitful conversations. I would agree always with, you know, I feel like, you know, I love that we're able to talk through things. Sometimes the conversations are longer, sometimes they're shorter and they're not frequent. So it's not like beef every week. You know, it ain't never been beef, but, you know, still challenges. And I think, I think we would not. We are, I think we are in a, In a wonderful place. I think that would be a result or those conversations are part of that because. Yeah, I think though, that's part of that.

[Kia]

So, yes, I would say similarly, Jade and I had a conversation where I was sort of letting her know what was going on in a family situation. And I observed some things of my mom that, that were a mirror for some. Some of the ways that I can respond to difficult situations. I, I noticed my mom internalized some feedback that she received and found myself in a position encouraging her not to internalize, you know, somebody else's opinion as a fact. And I was sharing with Jay how that actually showed me how and why it. It is seems like such an instinct for me to do the same. And we were able to process that and I was able to share that, you know, the, the duality of recognizing that this is what I was socialized. I grew up seeing this like I grew up seeing my mother model this behavior. So it is probably not, you know, it's not crazy to imagine why this has become my normal also recognizing that, you know, I felt sad because my mom did not have language or support to help her to reprogram that sort of instinct. In her. And that's probably why she couldn't have built it in me. And so that made me sad for her and sad for me, but it also made me realize and extend myself and my mom some grace, but also make me appreciative of the work that I've been doing in therapy and working on myself. And so it was. I was very appreciative of the space to talk to Jade about it was able to sort of share, like, you know, how much I appreciate my chosen family's patience with me as I work through some of these things in full recognition that, you know, you know, some of the things that come, that, that some of my conventional sort of habitual ways of responding, I recognize that are, are not healthy all the time, but I'm actively working on changing that. But it takes time and it takes practice. And I, I was very appreciative. I was able to sort of share, like, even in explaining that situation with my mom, with Jade, it gave me space to also say, that's why I really appreciate that y' all don't throw me away. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, y' all haven't given up on me as I'm, as I'm doing this work. And I, I, that's not something I take for granted at all. And so I'm appreciative of that and want to mirror that back to the people that I love. So I wanna, I wanna get better at, at holding that same space or, or all of y'.

[Jade]

All.

[Kia]

But no, that was a, that was a moment where I was very vulnerable and sort of sharing something. You know, we're in a season with my family that we've never been in before. And all of the ways that that is hard for me, I was sharing with Jade and, you know, not having my brother here to help me process that. I very much appreciated having space with you and Crystal and Fran and Bobby and Toya and all the people that have rallied around me, you know, given, given that. And so I'm, I'm grateful.

[Jade]

We love you, sister, and we know you love us, so absolutely, this is what it is. And yeah, yeah, we do have some really beautiful, transparent, vulnerable conversations. I feel like there was shared vulnerability when your dad popped up, you know, at Brian's funeral, because that was a moment where it was like, we know she's uncomfortable and oftentimes when somebody's gonna come to make you uncomfortable, but it was more of a space to, you know what I'm saying, hold.

[Kia]

So. Yeah.

[Jade]

And Also, the context was also great in the. In the sense where it was like, also, I will throw hands with you if need be. So.

[Kia]

You know, it was like in those moments, Right. It was not a matter of expecting y' all to say or do anything, but, yeah, it was. It was the safety in knowing that I wasn't there by myself.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Kia]

You know what I'm saying? Like, I wasn't there alone. And whatever I needed in the moment, whether it was a distraction, whether it was a process partner, whether it was somebody to, you know, join me in squaring up, I knew that I could. Yes. You know, I knew that I had.

[Jade]

I'd like to say I'm Jamie Foxx in that situation. Multi talented. I whispered in Kia's ear, I will fight your father. You just say the word. Word.

[Kia]

I'm a ego. I'm a egot in this situation. Hello. It give.

[Jade]

Thank you so much.

[Kia]

Okay.

[Jade]

John Legend. I am. Or whatever.

[Kia]

I'm a multi hyphen. Okay. Whatever you need in this moment. How can I be supportive? I'll end that for me. Shout out to the black girl hug experience. These are real.

[Jade]

Yeah, we got to play that the next time we need a. A downtime episode.

[Kia]

I feel like this will be good. And even when we're like on a girls trip, you know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

Just shake it up. You know, we can make it fun.

[Kia]

Okay. I think I love this for us. And so I will put the blackgirlhug.com information, all the links. You can find those in the description box. Y' all let us know how you feel about this game, whether or not you're gonna get it, whether or not you're gonna play it. I think we should play it kind of regularly. This has been.

[Jade]

Yeah, we'll play it again. We only pulled four cards, and we're able to have a bountiful conversations.

[Kia]

Love that. And so, like, if you're getting to know somebody new or if you just want to have a deeper. A deeper connection with some of your good sister, girlfriends, guy friends, your chosen family, however that is situated in your life, this is a good little shout out to the black girl hug experience. We see what you're doing.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Kia]

See what you're doing over there.

[Jade]

Shout out to you all. Well, let's head on over to this self care and this. I know that's right.

[Commercial Announcer]

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[Jade]

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[Kia]

Try angel stuff for your tushy. It's made by Angels Soft and Strong budget friendly. The choice is simple, a roll that feels like paradise and always at a heavenly prize. Angel Soft Angel Soft Soft and Strong. So it's pick up a pack today. Angel Soft and Strong this week in self care I'm going to keep the party going with blackgirlhug.com included in the package with the Black Girl Hug experience cards. There is a There are 10 self care tips and the instructions are to hang this car up on your fridge, mirror, desk or frame it and hang it on your wall to remind yourself you can do of things you can do every day to alleviate stress and live a more fulfilled life. So I'll read those really quickly and that'll be my self care because I'm gonna hang this on my refrigerator. Okay. Number one, listen to your heart. Oh listen. Sometimes it'd be, sometimes it'd be saying crazy stuff but I really. Number two, set gentle boundaries which is a good reminder because I tend to overdo it on the boundaries sometimes. Three, prioritize your health. We talk about that all the time. Celebrate small wins. I know that's right. Find your support tribe. Very important. Create a safe space like in your home.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Kia]

Practice self compassion. Don't beat up yourself. Beat yourself up. That I need tattooed on myself because I'm very Okay. It gives me abuse. Number eight, set aside me time. Express your feelings and embrace your identity. I love that. Radical.

[Jade]

Yes. Yeah.

[Kia]

Be yourself. Be yourself girls.

[Jade]

You are enough. I love that.

[Kia]

I love that, love these self care tips. I'm going to actually put this up and read them every day so that I can hopefully etch these into my cortex and they're practical and everything.

[Jade]

We love that. Yeah. Well, I touched on my self care earlier but I think officially it is, you know, I am in a really nice planning pre, pre production mode of just many things and I felt very complacent and stuck with for a really long time now. You know, obviously by design but been feeling that way for some time and so it's nice to feel like I'm coming out of that and to also have these safe spaces to talk about it but also the safe spaces to do that work with people that I feel safe doing it with and that I know will help me to produce those visions in the way that I really see them fit and so and giving them the honor and respect and in space. So I'm. That's my self care this week. I've got some meetings for next week set up and it'll just be good, you know, I work out of the house. I, you know, I have been in my own crud so it'll be good to, to get outside and work on some of those things and really watch them blossom.

[Kia]

Exciting sister. I love this.

[Jade]

Yes. Exciting times at Burger King. Speaking of Burger King, let's hop into our petty peeves.

[Kia]

Let's do it country. Petty, petty, petty. All the same to me playing Jane Spaghetti.

[Jade]

Okay, my petty peeve this week is living up to the title, the title of this, this particular segment because you know how I think it was last week you told me you were like you. I feel like my petty peeves are so petty and yours are like war and I'm like Yeah, Usually this week I'm like, I broke my nail this week, I'm getting very petty.

[Kia]

All right?

[Jade]

The Chinese spots are not giving you hot mustard unless you request it. And wow, because y' all keep giving me endless duck sauce, endless soy sauce, endless of that. That red hot sauce that I never use. Don't nobody want, but will not give me hot mustard unless I put in the notes. Please include packets of hot mustard. And let me tell you something. I don't enjoy a spring or an egg roll without a combination of duck sauce and hot mustard.

[Kia]

Oh, yes. Now you know what you talk about, sister.

[Jade]

Sets it off. Something proper. You know what I mean? Today opens up those sinuses and everything.

[Kia]

I love a hot mustard mustard.

[Jade]

Thank God last night I had one packet of hot mustard left, but I was like, a, I need to purchase my own hot mustard. And B, right. Why am I giving unless I put it in the notes?

[Kia]

But anyway, I was saying, I even like a hot mustard on a chicken nugget. Now down to the McDonald's. You know, they still have the hot mustard.

[Jade]

That's giving.

[Kia]

Yes, yes, they still have. They. They still have the hot mustard down. And I. You know, when I was frequenting, I was not above requesting some hot mustard to enjoy my chicken nuggets. Yep, yep. I would also venture to add that one of the things. This might be a little bit of my petty peeve, too. I actually miss New York Chinese food. Chinese food in. In New York is. Is next level good. And since I have moved away from my fair homeland.

[Jade]

Yeah, I have not Maryland.

[Kia]

Oh, it's abysmal. Abysmal.

[Jade]

You know, when Fran came back for my birthday and we all went to go hang at Crystal's house, she was. We were gonna order some food. She goes, you know what I want? She's like, like, can you just hook me up with a spot with some good Chinese food? I was like, I got you right. Nowhere else. Good Chinese food.

[Kia]

Nowhere else in the country can you find good hood Chinese food like in New York City. I miss it, so.

[Jade]

Say much.

[Kia]

Where? San Francisco. Where?

[Jade]

No, I. I've got nothing for San Francisco. No apologies if you're from there.

[Kia]

Sorrow.

[Jade]

Sorrows, right? Y' all have good clam chowder bowl. Red Bull, Boston. Boston guy.

[Kia]

It's been a while.

[Jade]

I don't know. Boston has good Chinese food. Lobster sauce, proper fried rice good. Like, you know, spare pork. You know, when you get the pork. Oh, God. Oh, God. It's like heaven, but also. But us. I. I know exactly. Like last night I was like, I'm in the mood. My period is here. I was like, I want. Want Chinese food. I just want some garlic chicken and broccoli, some fried rice and some. And. And. And some spare. And that pork that is bright red, like, that's what I want.

[Kia]

Sometimes your body just calls for a little msg.

[Jade]

That's it. That's literally it.

[Kia]

You have to answer the call. You must answer the call when your body called for that. But absolutely. I think I'm actually gonna let that live as my petty peeve. Yes.

[Jade]

The.

[Kia]

The Chinese food here is just.

[Jade]

It don't hit because y' all don't have. Y' all have curry outs, you know.

[Kia]

Which is a distinction. That's what I'm saying. That's very. It's a very different setup than the Chinese places. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, the Chinese places around the way where we were growing up. You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

Fried chicken wings, fries. Pork. Yeah, pork fried rice favorites. My favorite. Like, I know love shrimp fried rice. I love pork fried rice. And I love parents who also ordered egg foo young, you know what I'm saying? Gravy on the side. Like, so, like, Chinese food is just. It has a. The American style Chinese food has a very special place in our hearts.

[Kia]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

I just need y' all to get on the hot mustard train.

[Kia]

My grandmother, and she was not. She did not, like, frequent the Chinese food place we were growing up, but she did sanction their chicken wing. She was like, now I don't eat none of that other stuff, but they know their way around a chicken wing down there to that place.

[Jade]

Wings. My dad was like that. Like, Fridays were, you know, where you're not cooking. You know, Fridays were like Chinese. Chinese fried wings and fried rice. And then he would go somewhere where he likes fry. This is back when McDonald's fries were good. So he would go to McDonald's and get fries because he's like, I want McDonald's fries. I want Chinese fried wings and fried rice, like. And he would go to his different spots to get the stuff, and we would have an amalgamation of horrible food. Delicious food.

[Kia]

I mean, delicious food that was probably terrible for us, but felt like home. Yeah, absolutely. I miss it. Those. That's our nostalgia for the. For the week. And thank you guys again for joining.

[Jade]

Us for another episode.

[Kia]

This is what a. Jeff from my heart.

[Jade]

Yeah, that game got the right. They got the right name. What'd you say it's called? Huggingblackgirls.com. hug on black girls when the rainbow's not enough. What is it called?

[Kia]

Black Girl hug experience.

[Jade]

Yes. I love that. This is not even endorsed by them guys. Just so you all know, Kia bought that and like, was like, let's play this game. I was like, bet my brain's tired. Exactly.

[Kia]

We needed that. So shout out to our [e-mail]. y' all did your good work with this with these card games. I do feel better after playing.

[Jade]

Yeah, I do too. And now me and J are gonna go out and see Gucci Mane because as we record, it's 1017, you know what I'm saying? So we're going to see Rick Davis and I'm very excited about it and I can't. Ready to. I. I can't wait to sour apple bitter publicly. It's going to be such a good time.

[Kia]

I am so thrilled for you. This is going to be such a good time. Thank y' all so much for listening. I'll take a s. Or you want to do it it?

[Jade]

Oh, oh, sure. Okay. Yeah, I can do that. Well, first and foremost, make sure you all subscribe to the Patreon to. To support getting grown and also where you can get additional conversation and see our beautiful black girl hug faces. And then first and foremost, you want to drink your water, right? Yes. Wait, hold on. Let's see here. Hold on. You want to buy your business? Mind your business. Mind your business. That's. Okay, so do that first because there's so much business out there that is not ours. Taylor Swift album, all of that. Every bit of all of those things. None of that is my business. Joe Button and, and friends, outside of mono, she's my business, but nobody else is. So we want to mind that we want to drink our water because hydration is pertinent, critical. Critical for your survival as a human being. That's right. And also for the hydration of your, your skin, you know, and, and, and all of those things. Like, it's such a. It's a life force is what water is. Lastly, you want to moisturize. We are entering Diane Keaton season. Rest, white Queens, whatever. Sweater weather. Okay. A nasty two piece men's suit season.

[Kia]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And so it. While apple cinnamon season comes to rise and sweaters go on, you want to make sure that you're, you know, getting those heels between toes, you know, body butter lotion. We gotta layer during these times because everything is ghetto and what you don't want to be is dry. And in the process of that or your black will crack.

[Kia]

Period. Bye y'.

[Jade]

All. Tata.

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