Reclaiming Summer (Feat: Noah)

Summary

Gettin' Grown — "Reclaiming Summer" (Feat. Noah)

Podcast: Gettin' Grown, Loud Speakers Network
Hosts: Jade, Crystal
Guest: Noah
Release Date: July 14, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Jade and Crystal, joined by Jade’s 13-year-old daughter Noah, dive into the meaning and evolution of summer as Black adults. They reminisce about childhood summers, discuss how adulthood and parenting reshape these experiences, and explore ways to “reclaim” joy, rest, and community in the warm season. Blending their signature humor and poignancy, they share practical ideas for finding balance and intentionality, even amid hard times, loss, and life changes.

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Key Discussion Points and Insights

1. The Changing Nature of Summer

• Nostalgia & Reality:
  • Crystal opens the “Kitchen Table Talk” (25:30) reminiscing: “Summer used to mean something. When I used to think about summer in the days of my youth, it would be like, you know, slow days of nothingness, freedom to move about… Now, my relationship or proximity to summer fun is shifting as I progress through adulting.”
  • Both reflect on transitioning from enjoying summers “curated” by adults to realizing, as adults themselves, the labor involved in creating joy—for themselves and their families.
• Parental Realizations:
  • Jade: “I think as adults in general, I don’t think it’s impossible for us to carry the magic of what summer used to be if we intentionally think about how we operate in it.” (28:29)

2. Navigating Loss & Safety in Black Communities

• Honoring Lives Lost:
  • The hosts pause the lightheartedness to honor the life of Nolan Wells, a young Black man whose passing has weighed heavily on the community (04:47).
  • Crystal, recounting her own grief: “A part of me, like, transparently, I feel bad. Right. I’m grieving… And I feel bad being triggered because I don’t want to make it about me… But it is… I hate that this keeps happening.” (05:31)
  • They discuss the lack of safety afforded to Black children—even in seemingly benign, celebratory spaces—and the toll this takes on families and community trust.
  • Notable quote: “These circumstances continue to just show that the rules are not the same for us. And that’s the part that breaks my heart.” (07:16)

3. The Generational Shift: A Teen Perspective

• Noah Joins the Conversation:
  • Noah reflects on how tech is reshaping summer for teens: “I feel like people are doing, like, less of [playing outside] and it’s just more technology-based, just sitting on the couch all day, which is actually what I did a few days ago.” (31:34)
  • On balancing structure and rest: Noah shares her summer schedule, including learning Korean and attending day camp—emphasizing both downtime and staying active (34:06).
  • On family traditions: Noah describes her 13th birthday party as “Negro themed… in the community garden… My mom cooked really good food,” highlighting the passing down of cultural celebration (35:54) and the importance of cultural grounding for youth.

4. Being Intentional: Reclaiming Joy and Rest

• Adulthood Means Creating Joy:
  • Crystal: “In my adulthood… I have to do that for me… creating those conditions feels hard, but yeah, probably because it is hard.” (29:13)
  • Jade stresses the need to “reparent” their inner child by deliberately building rest and fun into their lives, not waiting for big occasions: “You always deserve for your inner child to have a good time.” (59:49)
• Balance of Activity and Rest:
  • The hosts champion a model for summer rooted in “simplicity” and “intentionality”—from scheduling downtime, reading for pleasure (45:20), to community cookouts, cake decorating classes (13:53), and everyday joy like enjoying ice cream or listening to music with the windows down (59:54).
• Screen Time Boundaries:
  • Noah’s dad employs Apple Screen Time to block phone use until 3pm, and the adults discuss the value of unplugging for presence and mental health (38:41).

5. Black Joy, Creativity, and Community

• Food & Gathering:
  • Jade gleefully recaps her Juneteenth Reloaded pop-up (65:49), which featured brisket, potato salad, summer salad, and cake: “People really posted up. They came, they had cocktails. There were tables outside… and it was just really… I’m really grateful for the support.”
• Cultural Hobbies:
  • From cake-decorating classes to reading and drag shows, the team encourages listeners to nurture their spirit through both small and big joys (48:08–53:34).

6. “Reclaiming” Isn’t About Perfection

• Rejecting Social Media Pressure:
  • Crystal and Jade push back on Instagram-worthy standards for “the perfect summer”: “Simplicity is something I think we've lost in over consumerism and in capitalism and in social media that makes you feel like if you’re not doing this, you’re not having a real summer.” (58:13)
  • They urge listeners to embrace both “fabulosity” and “Kool Aid pitcher energy”—reminding everyone that joy isn’t about extravagant experiences, but about presence, community, and intention (60:49).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On loss and empathy:
  “White people need to get themselves together and why don’t you carry the same fucking empathy for niggas that you carry for dogs?” — Jade, (10:23)

• On technology and childhood:
  “I feel like it was just more fun being outside playing, you know, playing in the water like that.” — Noah, (31:59)

• On mindset for adult summers:
  “You always deserve for your inner child to have a good time.” — Jade, (59:49)

• On small business boundaries:
  “Stop requesting things of our businesses, of us as a people, that you would not get from a large conglomerate… I literally just told you all that I sat over a grill at 100+ degrees… Don’t request no refund from me because I can’t give it.” — Jade (79:37)

• On simplicity:
  “There’s a lot of beauty in the simplicity of summer and I feel like that’s the old thing that we need to get back.” — Crystal, (58:29)

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Timestamps for Key Segments

• [04:47] Reflection on violence, grief, and safety for Black families
• [25:26] Kitchen Table Talk: What happened to the magic of summer?
• [31:01] Noah’s Gen Z perspective—screen time, sleep, and rituals
• [37:32] Summer planning—balancing activity and downtime
• [45:20] Crystal on reclaiming leisure, books, and joy
• [48:08] Drag race favorites and the role of Black queer joy
• [54:08] Bell Hooks, reading, and Black feminist imagination
• [58:13] Rethinking what makes a "real" summer
• [65:49] Self-care check-in: Chef Jade’s Juneteenth pop-up
• [73:38] Petty peeves: Public dictation on Amtrak & small business etiquette

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Tone and Style

The conversation flows candidly, blending humor, vulnerability, cultural critique, and celebration. Jade and Crystal balance playful banter (from Parisian mustiness to fantasy drag names like “Pussy Phalanges”) with moments of grief and the challenges of Black adulthood.

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For Listeners Who Missed the Episode

This is a heartfelt, humorous, and practical meditation on growing up, grief, and the pursuit of joy—rooted in Black womanhood, community, and culture. It’s a must-listen for anyone re-imagining what summer, and “adulting,” can and should hold.

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Call to Action

Tell the hosts: How are you reclaiming your summer?
Tweet, write in, or join the conversation by sharing small joys, creative moments, and the simple pleasures—whether you’re a “San Tropez ass bitch” or rocking a Kool-Aid pitcher on your stoop.

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Closing Self-Care Tip:
“Moisturize your skin, and throw some sunscreen on that hoe as well… The sun is not what it used to be.” — Jade & Crystal (85:43)

Transcript

[Jade]

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[Crystal]

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[Jade]

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[Crystal]

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[Jade]

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[Crystal]

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[Jade]

Visit simplisafe.com licenses for alarm license information. Tennessee 2012. When we get by we'll make it by when we get by with love I look in your eyes yeah, I look in your eyes. I know what you're thinking of. You know the words.

[Crystal]

I know the song, but I don't know the words. Don't throw it to me.

[Jade]

You can just make noises though. I feel like d' Angelo and Nita Baker. They're in the same family. Like.

[Noah]

Yes.

[Jade]

You don't really have to close your

[Crystal]

mouth all the way. You just. Oh, you know. Yes. Because you know, Anita, don't close that mouth.

[Jade]

I love it with her hateful ass. Oh, no. She ruined a gaggle of People's Mother's Day. And she has yet to explain herself. And I'm not letting Auntie Linda just

[Crystal]

imagine that she was backstage with a cigarette and a golden hot curling in a disheveled wig. Curling it with a golden hot curling

[Jade]

hot with a gold. I used to to carry those. Did you remember when they came out with the cordless press and combs? No, the cordless curling irons.

[Crystal]

Oh, cordless.

[Jade]

It was battery operated.

[Crystal]

No, I do not remember that.

[Jade]

And I was a nasty little black girl in school, you know where you'd have a bag full of.

[Crystal]

Oh, you had a curling iron.

[Jade]

You know, I pulled that stupid curling iron out so I can make some tight bangs for no reason.

[Crystal]

Come On Bumped. But praise the Lord. Praise the Lord.

[Jade]

Hello, sister. How are you? We're in the. We're in the.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

I'm so excited.

[Crystal]

I am, too.

[Jade]

I'm so happy to see you. The waves are waving.

[Noah]

Thank you.

[Jade]

Spinning, nigga, they spinning. They spinning. Making y' all seasick. So you want to tell the people why you're here in town?

[Crystal]

Well, I'm here in town because I haven't been in a long time.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

But I also am here because I'm going to the Jay Z concert. Yes. And I'm excited about that, but I wanted to make sure that I spent some time at the kitchen table with my sister.

[Jade]

Yes. That makes me so happy before, you know, the festivities.

[Crystal]

So, yeah, I hopped on the train on the Amtrak, and we will get to that, because my petty p. Girl, you're going to.

[Jade]

Okay, okay. Oh, I need to think about that.

[Crystal]

Oh, girl, people are insufferable.

[Jade]

Sh. I wish you a great, successful weekend of events.

[Crystal]

Even though I feel like it's going to rain tomorrow, hopefully it will just rain in the. In the afternoon so that all, by the time we get to the stadium, all of that will be over with.

[Jade]

No, that's fair. And I do wish that for you. I have one question for you, my brother, though. When is enough, enough? You are a capitalist.

[Crystal]

Well, yes.

[Jade]

And everything's expensive.

[Crystal]

That's true.

[Jade]

We deserve. We deserve to be at that.

[Crystal]

Oh, I quote, but the ticket price has gone down multiple times. You should check again, because, I mean, they have plummeted, sister.

[Jade]

Oh, really? Oh, yes, because my Nigga was charging 800 for the cheap tickets.

[Crystal]

No, I promise you it's not that.

[Jade]

All right, I'll look.

[Crystal]

They were talking. There were articles about it in the Times today about how the resale. Like, the resale is not giving what they thought it was going to give because the ticket price is.

[Jade]

Because they should be doing stuff like that. Because you should not be gouging regular people who just want to enjoy the arts and enjoy the arts that they've enjoyed for all of this time.

[Crystal]

I mean, this is like. Yeah. I mean, this is historic in so many ways. Yeah. And I feel like everyone should be a part.

[Jade]

I agree. I agree. Especially people who deserve to be absolutely longtime fans.

[Crystal]

So I want you to check again.

[Jade]

Open like, cbs. You see me stressed, right? Can I live?

[Crystal]

Anyway, continue to check, though. I promise you they're going down.

[Jade]

I do want us to take a serious note for just a moment. So, you know, we have discussed. I believe we discussed Cohen Wiley and Carmelo Anthony, just very briefly, but we would be so remiss if we did not acknowledge the life of Nolan Wells. You know, I know there's so much discourse going on right now, and we don't have to spend too much time on it, but in all transparency, you know, I thought about you first. Immediately. We want to send love to his family.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

That's not enough, though. That doesn't feel like.

[Noah]

No, it's not.

[Jade]

You know, please speak.

[Crystal]

I appreciate it. I think a lot of people have reached out. I'm grateful that y' all thought of me and thought of my mom. It has been a pretty, you know, triggering week. And I think a part of me, like, transparently, I feel bad. Right. I'm grieving. You know, we're just off of the anniversary of Brian's passing. His birthday is on Sunday. And then for this to happen this week, it just brings back a lot of memories. And I'm torn because I really want. I want to send all of my thoughts, prayers, support, monetary, all of that to the family, because I know this hurt.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I know this hurt. And my heart breaks for them. And I feel bad being triggered because I don't want to make it about me and, you know, what happened to our family. But it is. It is just. I hate that this keeps happening. I feel like my hope, my prayer is that we are raising our kids to really be thoughtful about who they spend their time with, and then we're teaching them. I mean, and it's nobody's fault, right? I mean, I'm sure I don't mean it in that way, but I just feel like there's so few spaces that feel wholly safe for our kids or us generally. And so these circumstances continue to just show that the rules are not the same for us. And that's the part that breaks my heart. Right. It's just like there's so much, so many holes in the story similar to the way they were, holes in Brian's story that will never sit well with me.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

I am grateful, though, that there, you know, there's a legal team that's working and. And we were able to be, you know, were able to be involved. Are able to be involved in the investigation. My family was not afforded that.

[Jade]

No.

[Crystal]

So I do think that that is something that is helpful, and I'm hoping that those who are advocating and fighting for this young man and this young man's family, I wish them success in getting the truth and justice, but nothing's going to bring Nolan back.

[Jade]

Right.

[Crystal]

And it is just more. It is just. It's just. It's hard. Yeah, it's hard. But I mean,

[Jade]

we pray for the.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

The. The ease of his spirit wherever, you know, as it journeys. We pray for the ease of his spirit. We pray for the. As much ease as his. His mother and his family can get for their hearts. And I don't think it's even necessary for you to say it's not even about you all, because this is a larger conversation in general. Right. And like you said, it's nobody's fault. We all move in ways that we feel are appropriate for our kids and our families. Right.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

There's so oftentimes, you know, people have taken their kids to the suburbs. We got to get them into better schools to keep them out of, you know, quote unquote. Exactly. To keep them out of whatever's happened in our neighborhoods. But then you have to contend with. Okay, well, now they have a disconnect from our community over here. There's so. There's so many decisions to make, and who's to know that you're making the right one?

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

We just, like you said, have to be as diligent as possible and teaching them about their culture, the love of their culture, things to look out for as best as they can as they walk around a world that they cannot

[Crystal]

control, and that does not prioritize their safety.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And so it is hard because, you know, you want. You know, Nolan and his and his friends were celebrating, you know, recently graduating, and you will want, you know, those spaces to feel genuine and safe. Um, and, I mean, you know,

[Noah]

I

[Crystal]

hate to say it, but it is. It feels like, you know, where are. You know, how. How can you feel safe in circumstances like this? It makes me think all the time, like, I would want children to feel like they can have fun.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And be joyful and do new things, but unfortunately, things happen, and it's like everyone's. I don't know. I just. I just. It just feels unfair.

[Jade]

It is unfair.

[Crystal]

It's unfair. It's unfair.

[Jade]

It is unfair. The young lady who passed away at the sleepover, you know, just all these different examples. I just need. White people need to get themselves together and why don't you carry the same fucking empathy for niggas that you carry for dogs like you all? How can you walk away from somebody knowing their fit? They are not at peace. They are not. There is no ease in this. How do you walk away from the water? We were celebrating on the water, and this one person is no longer with us. How do you get on an airplane and go back home? And there is no resolution to this. Like,

[Crystal]

their word against ours at all times. That's the hard part for me because it's like, sure, yes, this could have been an accident, but it could have not been.

[Jade]

It could have not been. It could have.

[Crystal]

We don't know. It could have not been, and we don't know. And that's what feels unfair. That's what feels most frightening.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And that, honestly, as someone who's been through it, like, that's something. That question never really goes away. My friend Sade checked on me this week and she was like, you know, how do you and your mom get closure? And I was like, you know what? I don't think you do.

[Jade]

Yeah, I don't think you do.

[Crystal]

I think, you know, you. Your life grows around this feeling, this. This experience, but it's not something that ever subsides. Brian. Brian was supposed to be turning 42 on Sunday. And I think. And we'll get into it at the kitchen table, but I think when I think about, I just. It still blows my mind. Like, I never imagined being this old and not having him. Like, you know, you just. You just take for granted that you're going to do life with your people.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And so, like every new experience, every different season, every different birthday, every different age, it brings up the reality that he's not here. And that's not something, you know, you move with. I don't think you move through. And I just. I just have been praying and I said it on threads, but I mean it. I've been praying often and out loud for Nolan's mom.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Nolan's family. Because this is the kind of world shattering, like it changes everything.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Instantly.

[Jade]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Crystal]

Forever.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And so, like, there. And I just will continue to pray.

[Noah]

So.

[Crystal]

Yeah. I mean, it's been a week, but I'm grateful to be here, spend some time with my people.

[Jade]

Yeah. You know, we have to. There has to be the balance of joy in between. But we do. We send much love to the Wells family. Absolutely. For Nolan's spirit and.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

May you. May you. May you travel easefully, young man. You deserve much better.

[Crystal]

You deserve to grow old.

[Jade]

Let's shift gears. A tinge.

[Crystal]

Let's do it.

[Jade]

So I do want to do a little shout out.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Jade]

So Pela kitchen. You know how I feel about my Jinnah. And she is doing a cake pop up. She does cake decorating classes. So for those who need a Piece of joy. I would love to do that in Brooklyn. She's gonna have several more. So I feel like we should plan to do one together because, you know,

[Crystal]

I think I'd be watching the Great British Bake off and the spring baking Championships, all the holiday ones. Summer, spring, Christmas, all of that. I think I'm a pastry chef in my mind.

[Jade]

No, you absolutely are. You absolutely are.

[Crystal]

I love to watch it.

[Jade]

Make me an elephant ear.

[Crystal]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

So Jenna offered a discount code to our listeners. So the class this week is July 16th. So that is this Thursday for those who are listening. And if you don't have any plans on Thursday, you can use code GETTINGGROWN10 to get 10% off of the class. And it's really. First of all, her cakes are phenomenal. So you get to take the cake home. They are delicious. If anybody had the. The opportunity at my pop up this weekend, I will talk about that later.

[Crystal]

I'm gonna ask you about that.

[Jade]

We'll talk. We'll talk about it in self care. But if you all had the opportunity to attend and get the cake, because it sold out very quickly. She made a cardamom carrot cake with a brown buttercream.

[Crystal]

Oh, carbon and brown butter.

[Jade]

Baby spice and brown butter. Yes. With enough salt to balance out the flavors. Where it's not so sweet.

[Crystal]

Where it's like. Pulls it up.

[Jade]

Yes, exactly. Pulls the flavor up, brightens it up.

[Crystal]

And it's not just sweet, but it's like you can taste the spices.

[Jade]

And I told you about that pistachio cake with the lemon curd.

[Crystal]

And I really like pistachio flavor things. I didn't think that.

[Jade]

I love pistachio.

[Crystal]

I mean, that kind of surprises me, but I really bang with the pistachio flavor. I love.

[Jade]

I don't like the faux pistachio flavor things.

[Noah]

No, no, no.

[Jade]

Where it's that weird color of green. Yeah, I don't like that. But true pistachio thing. Oh, I had a pistachio latte earlier. Oh, yeah. Anyway, get your. Get your cake decorating class in 10 off getting grown 10. It'll be in the description box. It's in two days. You don't have nothing to do on Thursday. Slide through, look for new activities to do. You know what I'm saying?

[Crystal]

Hobbies.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Digital. I mean, non digital things things.

[Jade]

Non digital things. And most critical thinking is waiting.

[Crystal]

Use your hands. Use your. Use your tactical skills and stop pushing buttons.

[Noah]

Stop.

[Jade]

Stop asking that bitch. You know what I'm saying? All the questions that you all ask her while Our earth gets hotter and hotter and motherfucker.

[Crystal]

Quite literally. Did y' all know that the people of Paris are, like, busting into the.

[Jade]

Oh, they're so upset.

[Crystal]

They're down to the PC Richards Sons or the Parisian equivalent stealing all of the air conditioners. They are.

[Jade]

I know. Because Parisians are thieves, let me tell you. Allegedly, the French. No, we're not. Because I wanted to feel bad, right. And for the black French people, I do. But let me tell you the rest of y', all, because y' all have had Haiti in a chokehold.

[Crystal]

Oh, well, yes.

[Jade]

For since. Since history.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

And so you having the day you deserve.

[Crystal]

Whoa. And I'm telling you, Paris is boiling.

[Jade]

Quite literally.

[Crystal]

They turn the heat up, and the

[Jade]

girls are like, I should not be laughing like this.

[Crystal]

I think people have laughs, and, you know, it's very.

[Jade]

I'm not laughing at that.

[Crystal]

No, no. Also very concerning because, you know, the people of Paris are musty, and they're up.

[Jade]

They are, like, angsty and mean. It's so.

[Crystal]

It is the most. It is the most. You don't expect it. You just standing on a street corner

[Jade]

and you be like, oh, wait, nah. I sat next to a lady on a flight. Is this. This is not any. Is this some sort of. This is not phobic. Is it. Is this a phobic?

[Crystal]

Or is this, like, Parisian phobia? Like, musty. I think we all. We all have the right to be offended by musty.

[Jade]

No, I get musty. I can. Well, I can get musty.

[Noah]

Well, I mean, we all can.

[Jade]

I keep that out of control, but

[Crystal]

you do something about it.

[Jade]

But they do in Paris. They love the perfume. They love the eau de toilette to cover. Look, we about to have all six

[Crystal]

Parisians who listen to this show. Please.

[Jade]

Oh, y' all know, I just be clouded.

[Noah]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Anyway, make sure you all go to

[Jade]

Jenna's cake decorating class. Paylock Kitchen.

[Crystal]

Come on. Cardamom, brown butter.

[Jade]

Cardamom, brown butter. Honey.

[Crystal]

Sounds good to me.

[Jade]

Speaking of new activities and hobbies and things like that, I think we should head on over to our kitchen table. Shall we?

[Crystal]

Let's do it. Let's do it.

[Jade]

Are y' all like me? Because I grew up during a time when the morning routine included brushing the teeth, washing the face, making sure you got the corner of those eyes because we did not play the crust, and then, you know, moisturizing with a little petroleum jelly or whatever household lotion we use. You got acne. Use Noxzema. It got really Bad. You get that three step program that had the commercials with the popular celebrities and in them, you know the one. Then, you know, I got a little older, more information. The Internet was really up and booming, and I learned about the salicylics, the glycolics, the hydraulics, you know, all of that. And I went too ham. I went from too simple to too ham. Too much information, no information. All that was not good. Then I scrapped all that, and I started from scratch. And I had to figure out what my skin really needs. I've had to do that with so many things. Not just skin care, but also hair care. And I found, honestly, that Baskin Lather is that girl. They have a line of various products that target my whole household's heads, all three of us, if I'm being honest. I'd probably use it on the cat if I could. Like right now, my daughter's hair is really, really loving the strengthening shampoo because she's doing a lot of sweating and a lot of swimming this summer with camp, so much of it, and that means so much more washing. We can't let that chlorine and that ocean water just stick up in the head. All the sand that accumulates from the beach, you know how it is. So the strengthening shampoo is perfect because it doesn't dry her hair out. It keeps her strand strong because you know how it is when you're frequently washing. And then we follow it up with the stimulating scalp and hair bomb, and we are in business. Her scalp is happy. Her hair is happy. I'm happy. She's happy. And honorable mention as always, because I'm gonna keep telling y' all about it. Is that hydrating mist? It's just as important in my house as breakfast. All right. Breakfast feeds our bodies. The hydrating mist feeds our hair. It is a non negotiable, honestly. But more than anything, I love that Baskin Leather is hair care that started with family love. Y' all know how I feel about family and community. When a dermatologist misdiagnosed the CEO, Shayna's younger sister, and said her hair may never grow back, can you imagine how jarring the family took things into their own hands? Shayna and her mother researched. They formulated their own scalp and hair oil to stimulate growth and retain length. And boom. Baby sister's hair now is at the waist. Babes, you know, sometimes we got to follow our gut when we know what we know, if you know what I mean. Baskin Lathers Hydrating Hair Mask. It combines aloe vera and avocado oil to reduce frizz, treat dryness, detangle and redefine curls. And their stimulating scalp and hair bomb that I mentioned nourishes and hydrates hair from the inside out. Okay, we're talking about internal happiness with 100% natural ingredients that can penetrate hair strands and without clogging pores. And I can personally attest without creating all the buildup in your locks when used regularly. Users have seen results in about three months. Go on a website, look for yourself. There's literally testimonials there. Go and check. Explore viral bestsellers and products of healthier hair of all types from Baskin lather. Go to baskinlatherco.com and use code grown for 20% off. That's 20% off@baskandlather co.com code grown. You know, I'm not one for the can't be caught in the same outfit rhetoric. All right. Contrary to popular belief, the best summer pieces are the ones you end up wearing on repeat. Alright. Comfortable, versatile, and somehow correct. No matter the occasion, no matter where you end up in the city. Quince makes it easy to create a summer wardrobe that you'll love with elevated essentials made from premium materials like European linen, organic cotton and washable silk. Keyword without the traditional retail markup, Quincet's 100% European linen pants, dresses and tops are the pieces that you will reach for all summer long because they are so mix and match. You can do so many things with them. And it's not just apparel, baby. No. Quince also offers elevated essentials for your home, from bedding and bath to kitchen essentials and furniture. I told you all that. I have gotten a couple of wonderful stainless steel pieces to cook with. Okay, some cookware from Quince, but that's not what I'm here for. I feel like I find a new staple every season from Quince, which feels like a quarterly gift to myself, which I deserve. And my latest treasure is the tinsel rib knit maxi slip dress. Let me tell you all, I like to accessorize based on my mood, so I need things that I can mix and match. I can throw this dress on with sneakers, sandals, heels. I can do a snapback, a scarf, wear my hair up, down, out. I have so many options, so much versatility. I think the hardest decision, honestly, was figuring out which color I wanted to go with because they're such a cute selection. I ended up going with the navy. But this dress, all right, this tinsel rib knit maxi slip dress, she's made from a biodegradable fabric made from cellulose found in wood pulp. It's softer, it's more breathable, and it uses 10 to 20 times less water and production compared to cotton. What's better than looking great, feeling good, and feeling great make your summer wardrobe feel easier? Go to quince.com grown for free shipping on your order and find 365 day returns now available in Canada too. That's Quincom grown for free shipping and 365 day returns. Quint.com grown I'm very hyped. I'm very very hyped right now because we're having a tried and true New York summer. So that meant that I had to pull out my first purchase from Poshmark, which is also my favorite summer top. My little denim sweetheart neckline situation. She literally goes with everything. She remains my favorite every time I switch closets for the season. Who is Poshmark? Hello, Poshmark is the leading fashion resale marketplace shaped by real people and real style. Millions of new and pre loved items from daily wardrobe staples to vintage and luxury fashion archive worthy pieces you thought you missed forever. Current Essentials 1 of 1 Vintage finds it's all there. I could attest. You know why? One of my favorite brands Hanifa. I just found me a pair of pants. You could imagine the shuffle that hit my feet when I realized they were in my size and they were the exact cut of wide leg trousers I was looking for and from the brand that I love. All on Poshmark, babe. Oh, and when you're ready for a closet refresh, you can earn real money selling the pieces you're ready to part with. Reaching more than 80 million users on the platform. Find what feels like you shop and share your style on Poshmark today. New deals and styles are listed every day, so don't wait. Download the Poshmark app and use code grown when you sign up to get $10 off your first purchase. Or shop [e-mail] grown and get $10 off your first purchase. That's P O S H M A R K.com grown

[Crystal]

this thing at the kitchen table. I thought we could reminisce a little bit.

[Jade]

Yes, I love to reminisce.

[Crystal]

I know. And talk a little about because I feel like things have changed so much in the summertime has come in very quickly and to me I speak for myself. Summer doesn't hit like it used to and I want to talk about it.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Because I feel like you Know, summer used to mean something. When I used to think about summer in the days of my youth, it would be like, you know, slow days of nothingness, you know, freedom to move about. You know, long days, sun going down late, you could be outside, the weather is good. And I'm not gonna say that all of those things are still not available, but it seems like something like my relationship or proximity to, you know, summer fun. Adulthood is while, like, as I'm progressing through different phases of adulting and adulthood. And I just thought we might talk about, like, what. Like, what's going on with that?

[Jade]

Yes. Yes.

[Noah]

Is it just me?

[Crystal]

Are you also.

[Jade]

I feel now, this summer, I will say, so far, and we're only at the very top of July, you already know June beats my ass.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

You already know in a beautiful way.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

But all good things last. But Father's Day, we got anniversary, we got Noah's birthday, we got Juneteenth.

[Crystal]

Yes. All rapid succession. Those things come.

[Jade]

Yeah, they go brun, brun, brung to me. Um, and I think this particular summer is. We're having a good, classic New York summer.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

Between the Knicks.

[Crystal]

Absolutely.

[Jade]

Like, it's just Mom Donna style.

[Crystal]

You know what I'm saying? Like, the vibe is different.

[Jade]

The vibe is nice.

[Crystal]

We deserve it, too.

[Jade]

It is different in the sense where I was having a conversation with Tristan today. You know, they were trying to clown me because they're like, because we're going to go to Miami. And they're like, are you going to get in the water? Because I'm a sand girl. You know what I mean? I like to tan and lay and relax, and my family likes to go get in the water. And I think that balance is just fine. But these niggas, you know, so they're like, are you going to get in the water? I say, yeah, I'm getting the water in Miami because it's nice water.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Like, it's not Reese Beach.

[Noah]

No.

[Jade]

So it's safe, which I'll go dip my toes in. But it's nice. What I can see is blue or, you know, whatever, reflecting, you know. But I was like. They were like, how come you never come with us to the pool in the summer? And I realized as a kid, I love the pool in the summer. Loved it. As an adult, I hate it.

[Crystal]

Why?

[Jade]

Well, a, I think about children and their bodily functions and their incontinence in the pool. You know how I am with the germs.

[Crystal]

Not wrong. You're not wrong about that.

[Jade]

And then I just started noticing like, the concrete is slimy where it's wet.

[Noah]

You don't.

[Crystal]

You're noticing things in your adulthood that, yes, that's fair. You do pay attention to more.

[Jade]

But as far as the feel, I do feel like we do have to be intentional with how we enjoy summer because it's one of our shortest seasons, but it really is the season to soak up and be present in as much as you can. And I think children obviously really give you. They really lock that viewpoint in. But I think as adults in general, I don't think it's impossible for us to carry the magic of what summer used to be if we intentionally think about how we operate in it.

[Crystal]

And I think if I'm really honest, I think my family, my mom, my grandparents, created the conditions for my summer fun in my adulthood. I have to do that for you.

[Jade]

You have to create your own.

[Crystal]

Exactly, exactly. And that feels, you know, I think the realization of that is. It's not necessarily jarring, but it's just like, oh, in addition to all the other things that I have to do, I have to do that. And so that's what makes it feel heavy. Cause all the other. But I mean, in fairness, like, you know, my mom also had to do. You know, the adults when I was a kid were managing all the adult things, but they still made it a point to.

[Jade]

To make it summer for us.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

To make sure that we had summer fun, that we could play outside, that we could run. That's literally us, you know what I'm saying? Now it's on us, you know, to have the cookouts.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

To you have the kickbacks, the car parties, the go.

[Jade]

To take the kids to the pool.

[Crystal]

You know what I'm saying? Take the kids to the pool.

[Jade]

You're not going to be sitting in front of the TV all day. So we got to go.

[Crystal]

All of that. So that's on us. And I feel like in the ways in which there are those of us who are reparenting ourselves, that is where I'm in a space to do that. And the work of creating those conditions feels hard. Feels harder than I. Feels harder than I remember. But, yeah, probably because it is hard. But whatever.

[Jade]

I think we should have the viewpoint of a person who is. Let's do it in the throes of maybe the time that we were. That we were discussing.

[Crystal]

I would love that.

[Jade]

Oh, my God. We have a special guest in the building.

[Crystal]

Everybody, welcome.

[Jade]

Everybody, welcome to the stage. Zendaya.

[Crystal]

Asap. Noah. Asap. Noah is in the building.

[Jade]

Don't touch the microphone.

[Crystal]

I'm not get comfortable, though. Don't make her look all nervous.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Hi, Noah.

[Noah]

Hi.

[Jade]

How are you?

[Noah]

I'm good. How are you?

[Crystal]

I'm doing good. I'm very happy that you're here with us today.

[Noah]

I'm happy to be here.

[Jade]

Good.

[Crystal]

So you heard us talking about summertime. Right. Tell me a little bit about if you're feeling a difference now that you're, you know, 13.

[Noah]

I think it's like, compared to a few years ago, it's definitely, like, downgraded because of, like.

[Crystal]

I was like, no, no.

[Jade]

I'm like,

[Noah]

as someone who's on her screens a lot, I feel like people are more into their screens than they were before.

[Crystal]

For sure, though.

[Noah]

Like, when you were talking about, like, being at the pool and the beach, I feel like people are doing, like, less of that and it's just like more technology based, just sitting on the couch all day, which is actually what I did a few days ago.

[Crystal]

So do you miss it? Do you miss, like, you still go to the pool, but, like, do you miss the times where you were not as conscious of your device?

[Noah]

Yeah, absolutely. Because I feel like it was just more fun being outside playing, you know, playing in the water like that.

[Jade]

So when we be. When we be like, Noah, you need to put on some clothes because we're not sitting in this house all day and you're like, I'm more level 16. What is that? I don't know. Roblox?

[Crystal]

No. What.

[Jade]

What? You sometimes do like to go outside with us. Why you be giving me a fight?

[Noah]

I don't give you a fight about going outside. I'm just tired.

[Jade]

Okay. That's fair. Oh, yes. Cause you're going through the. You're good through the teen where we sleep a lot during the summer now that we did do.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

Did you sleep. Were you allowed to sleep in?

[Crystal]

I don't want to say that it was celebrated. My grandma didn't drag. She didn't drag me out the bed. She would talk about me really badly.

[Jade]

Okay, okay.

[Crystal]

But she did not, like, you know, require me to get up. I was sleeping as much as possible, but probably not till about around Price is right time. So 11:00am was like, all right, now

[Jade]

I think 11:00am is reasonable. And they do. They're tired.

[Crystal]

Right.

[Jade]

They're growing, so. But, you know, 11:00am is reasonable.

[Noah]

Don't tell them the time.

[Crystal]

I wake up sometimes. Listen, I feel like occasionally you just need to sort of rot in the bed. I think that's good for Our development.

[Jade]

I agree.

[Crystal]

I fully support that. You need to just be comfortable with yourself in that way.

[Jade]

And when you are in the house for some days, that's usually off the tails. Of what? Yeah, of what? What have we been doing?

[Noah]

Oh, like running around. I. My dad and I set this schedule so that I'm also productive during the summer. So like I'll wake up at us. I don't ever really actually wake up at the time I'm supposed to wake up.

[Crystal]

I just wake up when same girl like me too.

[Noah]

Yeah, I woke. I like wake up and I like brush my teeth and all that and I make myself breakfast. Normally it's my mom making me breakfast, which I'm thankful for.

[Crystal]

I know that's right.

[Noah]

And yeah. And do like I'm learning Korean. That's one thing I'll do for about an hour. And then he'll also give me time from like 4 to 10 to like have a break as well. So I'm still like relaxing. Cause you know, it's summer vacation, people gotta relax. Yeah. So yeah.

[Crystal]

What are you looking forward to this summer?

[Noah]

Like, my mom said we're going to Miami, which I'm really excited about because I really love to swim. And I'm also going to a day camp, like where we go on like field trips and stuff for a day. And I've seen some of the stuff that they do and it looks really fun. So I'm excited for that as well. So. Yeah.

[Jade]

And what have you done so far?

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Noah]

Oh, I went to Atlanta recently.

[Jade]

Oh, nice.

[Noah]

So I got to hang out with my grandparents and my cousins who are a little bit annoying, I must admit. Most.

[Jade]

Most. They will continue to be okay cousins. Cuz my cousins still get on my nerves right now to this day because of them out. Right. So you got to go that. Cuz you know, everybody got to go down south and visit their grandparents.

[Crystal]

Absolutely. It's a right of passage.

[Jade]

It's a right of passage. So we did that already and we said somebody turned 13.

[Crystal]

Hello. A birthday.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Let's talk about it.

[Noah]

My parents threw me a really great birthday party. Yeah. And we had like a popcorn machine

[Crystal]

and a lot of gifts and I'm

[Noah]

really happy about that.

[Jade]

So what was the like. Tell us about the party.

[Crystal]

My God, was there a theme? It was just in the community garden. But was it just like, you know, people having a good time or was there like a theme?

[Noah]

It wasn't really like a theme, but people were definitely having a good time. My mom cooked really good food. Yeah.

[Jade]

It was Negro themed. It was coming of age. She got belly beads.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Jade]

You know, we had calorie shell flowers, Ankara tablecloth, and, you know, and with her diverse group of friends.

[Crystal]

Okay.

[Jade]

Also many, many black.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

But diverse group. They got to come and be a part of how we celebrate because we have culture. We had a cookout.

[Crystal]

We have a cookout.

[Jade]

We had a surreal cooker. They had potato salad, they had Mac. And I'm sure they ate it up, baby. Them ate it right up. The baked bean, the girls, everything. Mothers were texting me like, they won't stop talking about this food. I was like, okay.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Because it was seasoned and it was, you know, you. You know, it wasn't chips and hot dogs.

[Crystal]

That's right.

[Jade]

But so you enjoyed yourself.

[Noah]

Absolutely. Okay.

[Jade]

What else are you looking forward to for this summer?

[Noah]

I think I named everything. I don't think everything is planned out right now, but I know I'm excited for the summer.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Noah]

And the stuff I get to do that I don't normally get to do during the other seasons.

[Crystal]

So I love it that it is a balance of, like, you know, just seeing how it goes, but also having, like, some things on the calendar, things that you want to do. And I like the. Even in. In your day, there's some structure sometimes. We're going to, you know, we're going to still keep our brains active. Yeah.

[Jade]

Keep every thinking up.

[Crystal]

Yes. And. But we're also being intentional about rest.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

And joy.

[Jade]

And enjoying ourselves. Absolutely. Spontaneity.

[Crystal]

Oh.

[Jade]

On the way here, we said we were going to go. We're going to go get our ears pierced together.

[Crystal]

Oh, yeah.

[Noah]

I'm getting another second hole. Second hole. Yeah.

[Crystal]

Exciting.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Very exc.

[Jade]

We gonna go do it together, girl. We're gonna have us a summer. And we do stuff, you know, every other day I'm like, all right, we do something and then you have a down day. We do something, you have a down day. And I think that's a good balance. And, you know, you're in charge of your own screen time.

[Noah]

No, I'm not.

[Jade]

When I say that, I mean, if you want less, you can have less. Not more, but less for sure. When you realize she's like, less. Yeah. If you want less screen time because you're like, I missed the days when we didn't have. Have as much screens.

[Noah]

Do you know how kids work now? What?

[Jade]

I was never a child.

[Crystal]

No. Yeah, you were. You're an 80 year old woman. Same. Very much the same. I've been 65 for my entire life

[Noah]

I might want to be outside. But that does not mean I want less screen time. I mean the time you give me is already less enough.

[Jade]

Yeah, I know.

[Crystal]

Good.

[Jade]

Because you know, we got to keep that in mind.

[Crystal]

What's the screen time of? It's like, is there like a certain number of hours or is it like from a time to time? Like is it like from 12 to 6?

[Noah]

No. My dad put a screen time limit on my phone using Apple settings.

[Crystal]

So now. So it shuts you down.

[Jade]

It don't start until a certain time and shuts down.

[Crystal]

It'll start till 3pm wow.

[Jade]

So that there's a. Because there are times to be the same.

[Crystal]

We should not be. And I need to do the same thing. Because I hate. I find that when I don't look at my phone the first thing in the morning, I have a better day.

[Jade]

Exactly, exactly. Same sexually. And when I don't look at it

[Crystal]

right before bed, same.

[Jade]

So you know that. That just gives me like a better quality of feeling good for my day. Yeah. And I feel like my productivity is different. I feel like I'm more present. And so I. We have to do the same thing as adults. We have to intimidate. And it's harder because we don't have anybody who's like, you're not allowed to.

[Crystal]

Yeah. You know, I wish someone would set some Apple settings on my phone from

[Jade]

time to time and be like, I'm gonna go ahead and shut you down.

[Crystal]

But now that's enough scrolling, girl.

[Jade]

But you know, not the powers that be. I don't want them being able to.

[Crystal]

Somebody that I know, that knows me, that loves me.

[Jade]

Cause if my shit gets shut down,

[Crystal]

wants to keep me safe.

[Jade]

Yes, please. You have anything else you want to share before we sign off of Summer?

[Noah]

I don't think so.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Crystal]

Well, I've had a blast with you at the kitchen table today, Noah.

[Jade]

Thank you for staying with us.

[Noah]

Thank you for having me.

[Crystal]

Of course.

[Jade]

All right, go have fun on your screen.

[Noah]

Okay. Shade.

[Crystal]

So sister, what are you going to do to structure in the joy and the rest.

[Jade]

For myself.

[Crystal]

For yourself.

[Jade]

You know, how are we going to

[Crystal]

reparent ourselves this time?

[Jade]

I have to say, Noah. And being married to an educator, those two combined having a school age child and an educator really helps me to keep Summer in perspective. I don't know if I had as much awareness around Summer, not as an adult until I was married to an educator. I had a child.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And so I think it is. It has really shown me how short summer is and also how intentionally present I have to be within it. So, you know. You know, I'm a homebody.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

But when the days are long and they're nice, I make myself go outside. That's why it's real. She's really good. Because I can be like, no, we're gonna get up and go do this today. It also allows me. I'm really grateful for the work that I do, because then I can kind of structure my schedule around them, and that way we can really soak up as much time as possible. And I forget who it was who said a while ago that every summer they count down. I think it was the funny mom at your brunch where she said every summer she counts down how many summers her and her kids have left, which is, like, heartbreaking. But also, it puts a lens and a perspective that, like, you know what? Let's. Let's really enjoy this as much as possible and, like, intentionally enjoy this as much as possible. And I really do. I try to apply that to myself. I try to go out and do a couple things for my own spirit. I'll meet up with the girls. We'll have wine outside or whatever, and then do stuff with the family. And I notice. I'm like, all right, you up about four or five times a week during the week in the summertime, because in the wintertime, I'm gonna be in the crib for sure. So soak it up. What about you? What are you gonna do?

[Crystal]

I think, you know, work and work travel. This is, like, a height of travel season. I think there are, like, different peaks. There are, like, three peaks in the year. There's the spring, summer, and then, like, fall, winter, where, you know, lots of organizations, intermediaries, schools, conferences, meetings, all of that is happening. And the nature of my work requires that I show up and be present and be on. And that is a part of my work. It's an important part of my work. But I feel like I have to be more intentional about not losing myself in it and so doing even little things like this. I've literally been on work travel. We'll be on work travel every week since about June 9th. Since Juneteenth, I've had something every week, and it's about little pockets and days in between that where I try to do something. For me, coming here, wanting even. You're just sitting in this room with you and Noah and, you know, just having a good time and talking and just reconnecting, and, you know, that. That feels good. Also, you did a.

[Jade]

You had a. You had a pool day the other day.

[Crystal]

I did have a pool day the other day. That was also really good, because I don't. Well, I mean, you know, it was around the fourth, and, you know, all of us were getting out of the D.C. area.

[Jade]

You know what? You mother. You right. Cause I heard.

[Crystal]

I sent y' all so many people. Yeah.

[Jade]

Wasn't there a march? Not you.

[Crystal]

You didn't have.

[Jade]

Didn't DC have a march?

[Crystal]

There was a march. There was a march. And it was so beautiful, though, because all of us got in our cars and went to Baltimore. So Baltimore was very black and violent

[Jade]

to have big fun with the wretched.

[Crystal]

Yes. And that's exactly what we did.

[Jade]

I love it.

[Crystal]

So I was at the pool. I told Crystal. I ran into Adrienne.

[Jade]

She told me we had a time. I love that.

[Crystal]

And I love that everyone. All the Black people in D.C. said, We're leaving.

[Jade]

And I love that we're out of here.

[Crystal]

We had good food and good times, but shout out to Tiffany and Katherine and Sartre, DJ Marsha. We had a great time at the pool, so things like that. Also, I've been doing a lot of reading, and I read a lot of nonfiction for work and just sort of like, you know, all the ways that I have to do that. But I have been in a deep, like, really deep reading fiction lately and really just letting my fiction. Yeah, yeah. Just Letting myself sort of dissociate and escape. And it's really been enjoyable to sort of just deep down, deep dive and, you know, on flights and stuff. And I've really enjoyed it more than I thought I would. Like a couple of flights, I have made a decision, like, I'm not gonna work on this flight. I'm gonna read my book.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Or, you know, I'm gonna play my game, or, you know, I'm not gonna work if I work on my way to Denver, I'm not gonna work on the way back, or, you know, those kinds of things, those little things I'm trying to do.

[Jade]

What are you reading?

[Crystal]

I have been really enjoying Kennedy Ryan's books. Okay, so Kennedy Ryan. And, you know, I'm not a romance novel kind of gal.

[Jade]

No, that's not my bible, but, sister, me neither.

[Crystal]

But I will say that Kennedy Ryan's books are about real women, okay. And real relationships, okay. And there is realism. But there is also, you know, happy endings, okay. And not in that Hallmark movie kind of way, but, like, you know, negotiating real dynamics and relationships.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Crystal]

And there's lots of history, lots of culture. Her latest series is about creatives that are producing a movie about Harlem Renaissance,

[Jade]

you know, how timely.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Because I feel like we're in a renaissance.

[Crystal]

Exactly. And some of the unsung heroes of the Harlem Renaissance. And it's these set of couples all involved in the creation of a biopic of one of the, you know, unsung heroes of the Harlem Renaissance. And it's these really deep stories about people who are negotiating real things. Yes. With relationship. And Kennedy Ryan is just a masterful storyteller. It feels like you're watching TV when you're reading her books.

[Jade]

See, I love to read a book. I'm reading Lonely Crowds, which I started and then I put down and then I picked back up.

[Crystal]

So I bought a couple. So it's really gotten me back into, like, book talk and just sort of seeing who's doing what. And I've just been reading. I will say I've read a good seven, eight books in the last three weeks.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Crystal]

And I have really just. I feel like it's making me a better communicator, a better writer.

[Jade]

Yes. We talk about that with Noah, actually, because she's an incredible writer. But we're like, being a reader informs

[Crystal]

your writing, and it makes you excited about writing. It makes you think about all the ways even. Because, I mean, a lot of the stuff that I have to write is probably more boring than exciting, but it makes me think about ways that I can become a compelling storyteller. And that's important to a lot of the ways that we have to work. So not to get too deep on a tangent, but reading and trying to be more intentional about little pockets of rest, I want to. You know, I don't know if I'm gonna be able. I'm glad you're going to Miami. I don't know if I'm gonna be able to go somewhere.

[Jade]

We couldn't do, like, a true vacation, so we were like, you know, Miami's

[Crystal]

easy to get to, and I'm gonna try.

[Jade]

The beach is nice.

[Crystal]

I might, you know, little like, you know, I had spent a day with Fran in Portland. I'm gonna be here for a week. You know, I might try to do a couple of other things like that this summer and then try to have a more substantive, like, break.

[Jade]

I wanna find a good local drag show.

[Crystal]

Oh, sister.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Cause can I tell you how Drag Race has also been one of the ways that I've been finding joy this

[Jade]

week, this summer, I'm fully back in my drag bag. I told you. And I'm very happy about it.

[Crystal]

Same.

[Jade]

Kennedy went home.

[Crystal]

Kennedy. I saw.

[Jade]

But, you know, it's fine.

[Crystal]

It is.

[Jade]

It's okay. It's all right. Okay. Who are you slating to win? Give me your top two or three that you think might take it.

[Crystal]

I'm curious.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Crystal]

I'll say this. I'm curious if what they're going to do with this with Silky and A'. Keria.

[Jade]

You okay? Did you look a little bit further into their.

[Crystal]

I can't really division. I need to. So. No, I have some. I did, but I still feel like there are holes. Like, I'm still not understanding exactly what is happening.

[Jade]

I think it's holes because they neither one of them. I think there's love there for one another.

[Crystal]

So they're not going to just, like, air each other out?

[Jade]

I don't think so. They did that already last year. Apparently they lived together.

[Noah]

Okay.

[Jade]

So a' keria said, you know, Silky stole her tv and it's probably, you know, it's one of those situations. And you know what? Love you both. And I don't put it past Silky to steal a nigga's tv.

[Crystal]

Okay. Okay. Okay.

[Jade]

And I love the character. I love them both. I love them. I just don't. I'm like, don't air out all the dirty laundry. Like, you know, don't air it all out on the.

[Crystal]

I think.

[Jade]

I hope y' all can work that out.

[Crystal]

Same. And I really am hoping that if they. If. If either of them, like, I would love for one of them to make it, like, if not all the way, like, really close to the end.

[Jade]

I think Akira could.

[Crystal]

Same.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And I hope that somehow, some way, they can at least get back to a good place somehow.

[Jade]

I hope so.

[Crystal]

I hope so. I'm not. I'm not sure, but I hope so. I. Another person that I have really become slightly obsessed with is Crystal Method.

[Jade]

So obsessed with Crystal Method.

[Crystal]

I'm very upset with this.

[Jade]

That pirate costume during her story. The story itself. The takeaway. I'm a Crystal Method fan.

[Crystal]

I am.

[Jade]

I'm a Crystal Method fan. And obviously, I'm gonna go for the black queens first. But I've got to be honest. Joey J has won me over.

[Crystal]

Really?

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

Joey J's funny. Joey J is a good time. Joey J is a very un. Very talented.

[Crystal]

Very talented.

[Jade]

I'm like, damn, I didn't slate you for shit the first run. But I'm a big Joey Jay fan now.

[Crystal]

I think so.

[Jade]

But I Would like for a' keria to take it all the way.

[Crystal]

I would like a' keria to really make it far because I believe that a'' keria is absolutely stunning.

[Jade]

I think a' keria is gorgeous.

[Crystal]

I think a''' keria is breathtakingly beautiful.

[Jade]

Those teeth. And then she come.

[Crystal]

Those teeth.

[Jade]

Those teeth. Keri got those teeth, baby.

[Crystal]

She got. She feels like.

[Jade]

Yeah, she does. Like in the confessionals, just the commentary.

[Crystal]

I feel like a' keria could sit right here on this couch and have a time with us.

[Jade]

A', keria, why don't you come sit at the kitchen table with us? I would love for a' keria to come on. I Listen, we might need to plan a let's Drag Queens, please. Some of you.

[Crystal]

I love. Yes, I would love that. But I would love to see a' keria go all the way.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And I think Crystal Method is probably the close, close second for me.

[Jade]

I agree. I agree. Those are my top two. Yeah, those are my top two for now.

[Crystal]

I will say. We know that I love silky. There's something about it. I get it, I get it, I get it. But there is something there that silky makes for good tv.

[Jade]

Yeah. So. And she is. Yes, silky is very entertaining.

[Crystal]

Very entertaining.

[Jade]

A smart takes are on par, you know, on point. She brought up some things recently about the fandom and their racism. And I absolutely agree. And as your black auntie Silky, you be working my personal nerves sometimes. I'm not gonna get on Reddit and talk about it.

[Crystal]

No, I'm not.

[Jade]

But I do.

[Crystal]

In the same way that you just got like a busy cousin.

[Jade]

Yeah, exactly.

[Crystal]

That you just want to be like.

[Jade]

Exactly. I'm like, natasha, please. So. But I think a good drag show this summer. I would like to catch a good drag show. The last good one I got was the Shea Love Ball, which was. Oh, my God, it was Lala Ri. Shea Monet X Change.

[Crystal]

This is like my Mount Rushmore Lux noir London. This is like my Mount Rushmore. First of all, she loves UK and

[Jade]

I think that was it. But it fabulous lineup of black queen

[Crystal]

Lala Ri is my favorite.

[Jade]

Lala Ri's performance.

[Crystal]

And she's hilarious.

[Jade]

She's hilarious. She also feels like home. Like she feel you feel so comfortable listening to her.

[Crystal]

I worry about Kennedy too, even though.

[Jade]

But Kennedy reminds me of my cousin who got an attitude at times that she shouldn't like, fair like she be watching the other people's talent shows and it'd be like, that bitch ain't that good. And I'm like, kennedy, you know that show like, stop, stop. You're being stank right now. So.

[Crystal]

Yeah, I feel like those. Yeah, I. I don't want. Yeah, I would love to see Lala Ri live.

[Jade]

Yeah, we gotta find a La La Ri show together. We'll find a Lala Ri show. But let's catch us a good drag show this year.

[Crystal]

Yes, I would like that.

[Jade]

We'll find our good whimsy. I think just, you know, n love the word whimsy these days. But it's not. They're wearing it out, ain't they? They are wearing. Oh, my God, y' all have made words. Made me sick of words I ain't never been sick of before.

[Crystal]

The girls are really wearing out. Whimsy and dilly and dally. All the girls are dallying all over the dilly, are they? Not completely.

[Jade]

Although there's this Jamaican dude online who be talking about people when they skedaddle. And he talks about professional skedaddling.

[Crystal]

I love that.

[Jade]

I love it so much.

[Crystal]

I want to be a professional skedaddle.

[Jade]

But I do think we do need a little, you know, a little whimsy, a little skedaddle, a little diddle daddle,

[Crystal]

a little make believe. I think that. And I think that's another way that the reading has sort of reignited my imagination. I also was rereading Bell Hooks. Cause y' all know that old raggedy J.D. vance. You know what he's doing?

[Jade]

No, what is he doing?

[Crystal]

He is releasing.

[Jade]

With his eyeliner.

[Crystal]

Right? He's releasing books that have the same title as Bell hooks. Trying to.

[Jade]

J.D. vance, you're such a bitch.

[Crystal]

So, yeah, he just released Communion. But you know what black women did? We made Bell Hooks the bestseller all over again.

[Jade]

Good. Because we need to. And also. Cause what is somebody else's primary topic, no matter how she's discussing it? Love.

[Crystal]

Love.

[Jade]

Which is what you all could never.

[Crystal]

And I love in the best ways. Because it's like love that is. Has a wrapped up with accountability.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Crystal]

And love that helps us to unpack the ways that systems have been anti. Actual real love.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Particularly for marginal persons. Black women most specifically. And I had to. You know, I was talking to my friend Shoretta, since the young lady, I can't think of her name. If I think of it, I will put it in the description box. There's a young lady who was doing a book club on Patreon, a free book club of around the Communion book.

[Jade]

Okay.

[Crystal]

And me and Shiretta have been following along. And both of us had to take a little break because it got heavy. Right. Cause when you sort of get into the. The depths of understanding how patriarchy is everywhere, it can feel like, oh my God, like, how do we outrun it? And so I feel like I had to break up some of that heavy realism with a little imagination in the fiction space.

[Jade]

So I'm reading Lonely Crowds and I'm rereading Assata's autobiography because I feel like

[Crystal]

you got to have some background to

[Jade]

stay with my feet planted firmly on the ground. You do. With these corrupt systems, you do.

[Crystal]

You have to have some balance. You gotta be present.

[Jade]

But you're right, there has to be levity and balance.

[Crystal]

Yeah. Because we still need to sleep at night and we still need. I think we still deserve, you know, dream. Like we deserve to make believe. We deserve to imagine and wish and wonder.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

I think that's. You know what I'm saying?

[Jade]

I agree.

[Crystal]

I think that. And that is what. And that you don't have to sort of be on a million dollar vacation to have that.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Crystal]

You can embed that in. In your life.

[Jade]

Absolutely.

[Crystal]

And that is one of the things that I feel like. And if we're thinking about re. Parenting or re. You know, as when I think about adult summer and what some, you know, the summer looks like, this is a heavy season.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

You know, Brian's anniversary, then Father's Day. First father's day without DDA.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

DDI's birthday. DDI's birthday, Brian's birthday. And then the 13th was the anniversary of grandma's passing.

[Jade]

Yeah, that's it.

[Crystal]

Yeah. So, you know, it's just like giving myself space to sort of have all of that and let myself, you know, even like we was talking about with Noah, like, there'll be days when I don't want to get up out the bed. Like there'll be days where I sit on the couch in the dark and I watch, you know, I just. I watch all of Season 8 All Stars, you know.

[Jade]

Yes. The best one.

[Crystal]

I just watched all of season eight.

[Jade]

Is this my camera?

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

So, you know, those are the things because, you know, and I have those times where I'm at the house and I need to be in the house, but I also feel like I'm gonna get up and, you know, I'm gonna go to this concert, but I'm gonna make sure I go a day early so I can spend some time with Jade if I can see Crystal tonight. You know what I'm saying? Like you know, this weekend at some point, you know, because I need that.

[Jade]

You know, I also think a refrain. Yes to everything you said and I think a reframing to. Cause you said it, you touched on it when you said we don't need million dollar vacations. There was a lady online who was like, I don't have any money this summer, but I want my kids to have a good summer. So she bought a slip and slide. She got her a Kool Aid pitcher. She like, they made freeze pops.

[Crystal]

They.

[Jade]

They doing water balloons in the cooler.

[Crystal]

Like that's the shit. We used to do the same.

[Jade]

Simplicity is something that I think we've lost in over consumerism and in capitalism and in social media. That makes you feel like if you're not doing this, that you're not having a real summer.

[Crystal]

It's true.

[Jade]

And I think there needs to be a reframing in that as well. There's a lot of beauty in the

[Crystal]

simplicity of summer and I feel like that's the old thing that we need to get back.

[Jade]

Yeah, I agree.

[Crystal]

You know, thinking about when I think about the best times about my childhood summer, it was when did I made homemade lemonade.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

You know what I'm saying? DD said, like, literally, I see this big. He'd have this big yellow bucket and he would just have the lemons and he would literally hand squeeze all the lemons and he would just make the lemonade and I would just sit there and watch him.

[Jade]

Yes. I love that.

[Crystal]

And you know what I'm saying, like, you know, grandma would fry fish. Indeed. I would make lemonade and that would be it. That would be a Friday night.

[Jade]

And that is hot dogs and lemonade. Yeah. At her birthday, you know, we were like, get off the phone. They played Jenga. They played the giant Jenga. Shout out to Brian. Shout out to Brian, who runs the community garden.

[Noah]

Oh, yes.

[Jade]

Brian put on the sprinkler for the kids and they just went throughout the sprinkler and they had a good time. And it was beautiful to see that simplicity in that. So I think we can find that as adults as well. And I think this is a good conversation. Right. Because it allows us to say, you know what? Let me make sure that I'm truly soaking up this season the way that I deserve to. Kids or no kids. Kids or no kids, you always deserve to parent yourself. You always deserve for your inner child to have a good time.

[Crystal]

Go sit on your deck, go for a walk outside. Go get you an ice cream cone.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

Go listen to Your favorite song and have a car ride. Listen to your favorite album with the windows down.

[Jade]

A good summer song with the windows down is Damn, it feels good to be a gangster.

[Noah]

Period.

[Jade]

That's a good one. With your wind hair blowing, you know,

[Crystal]

put your shades on and just be in the car.

[Jade]

Exactly.

[Crystal]

You know, having a.

[Jade]

Exactly. Tell us how you all are enjoying your summers, please. Right in. We want to hear all of the things that you're doing. All the various things. Even if they're fabulous. If you a San trope ass bitch. I want to hear that.

[Crystal]

I want to hear if you want

[Jade]

to flip this live.

[Crystal]

We need all of that. All of that. Because I plan to have a little. Okay. Come on.

[Jade]

Yeah. Key is the rich auntie.

[Crystal]

I want to have a little.

[Jade]

The kool aid pitcher auntie. And I think both are important.

[Crystal]

I have a little, you know, just have a little fabulosity.

[Jade]

Just a tinge. Just a tinge.

[Crystal]

We deserve. We deserve nice things.

[Jade]

We do.

[Crystal]

But yeah, let us know what y' all are doing. We've got some good shows coming up.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

We like to keep the balance. You know, we'll have some heavy conversations, but also good conversations. We'll have some guests and some conversations with just Jade and I. Yeah. So, yeah, keep it where you got it. And do you want to do a

[Jade]

little self care and a petty pee? Yeah, let's do a little self care and petty pee.

[Noah]

All right.

[Jade]

You know what I'm loving about us as a generation of parents? The fact that we are recognizing that a lot of us had to do school the same way. And even though we learned differently, there was not different options for us. And we want to change that up for our kids. Right. I'm actually thinking about one of my cousins who has three kids. You know, they all thrive in very different environments. One of them is really more nature focused and does better in small groups with constant activity. One really thrives in a traditional large public school setting socially and academically. And one of them is a little bit of a mix of both. So for families that are looking for a new path to help their child succeed, K12 could be the perfect fit. K12 powered schools offer tuition free accredited online public education for students in kindergarten through 12th grade. They know that learning isn't one size fits all and they meet your child where they are. K12 has been a leader in online education for over 25 years. They provide everything a student needs to feel safe, to feel motivated and thrive in their learning environment, which we know is so important and with flexible education options tailored to each child's needs, interests and goals for the future. K12's dedicated teachers are trained in virtual instruction to provide real time support. Plus, students will belong to a vibrant online community with opportunities for extracurricular activities to help them connect with peers and explore interests. So enrichment is not a problem, all in a setting that works for your family. See how K12 powered schools can help unlock your child's full potential. Enroll online [e-mail] grown that's the letter K the number 12.com grown k12.com grown some say odoo business management software is like fertilizer because of the way it promotes growth. Some say Odoo is like a magic beanstalk scaling with you while being magically affordable. And some say Odoo's programs for manufacturing, accounting and more are like building blocks for creating a custom software suite. But I say Odoo is all of it. Fertilizer, Magic beanstalk building blocks for business. Yeah, Odoo. Exactly what every business needs. Sign [e-mail] that's o d o o.com y' all want to update I'm still on Operation get to Istanbul. You know, not just to see the battle of my jet lag versus Turkish coffee, even though that should be very, very interesting. But I need to see how La Machun compares to New York pizza. And I need to see if I'm pronouncing La Machun comp correctly. And you know, I want to have fun, friendly, trash talking banter with a local about how New York pizza is better. Then we laugh and have another Turkish coffee. I got plans I'm manifesting. If you're traveling this summer, here's a real travel hack for you. Don't wait until you land to start learning the language. Instead, try babbel. Even just 10 minutes a day with Babbel can help you start having real conversations in as little as three weeks. Instead of memorizing random vocabulary, you're learning phrases you'd use ordering dinner, asking for directions or dare I say lighthearted vocal sparring with the locals respectfully and with love, obviously. Now. And what I like about Babbel is that it's built for real life. Not vocabulary lists, not verb charts, but real conversation practice. The lessons are quick, they're practical, and they're built by more than 200 language experts. They have interactive dialogue, personalized reviews, even podcasts. And they're all designed to get you speaking quickly and confidently. Unlike cramming before a trip, Babbel fits into your actual schedule. You want to go to the coffee shop and practice your Turkish coffee sit. You can do that. And you can practice your language as well. Commute? Sure. A few minutes before bed. It's much better than falling asleep to that reality show where love is the prize. Babbel's award winning app has sold over 25 million subscriptions and is backed by a 14 day money back guaranteed. If you've got summer travel coming up, now's the time to start so you can actually use what you learn on the trip. Right now, Babbel's offering listeners up to 60% off. Go to babbel.com grown that's Babbel B A B B E L.com grown for up to 66.0percent off. Rules and restrictions may apply. I D deserve.

[Crystal]

I know that's right.

[Jade]

So it is time for the self care and my self care. This week is my pop up.

[Crystal]

Do tell.

[Jade]

So thank you to everybody who supported. I did a popup. I called it Juneteenth reloaded because it was July 5th and it was basically obviously an ode to Juneteenth. You know, I wanted to honor true Juneteenth, the ancestors of Galveston, Texas. So I did brisket, I did baked beans, smoked chicken hibiscus. I did a red drink. You know what I'm saying? I did a hibiscus barbecue sauce, a homemade hibiscus barbecue sauce. But I also wanted to like, you know, there's a lot of us who don't have grills or have yards and so forth and so on. So I was like, you don't have a grill, it's okay. I'm gonna give you proper potato salad.

[Noah]

Yep.

[Jade]

Proper beans. I did a little sea island and corn summer salad that honored my gullah geechee roots, you know. And it was. And then I told you Pela did the the cake and it was so lovely. But what was really dope about it, just coming off the heels of our last conversation, people really posted up. They came, they had cocktails. There were tables outside like they chilled. At the end of the night, the Mr. Softy truck came by. We got ice cream cones. I love that. Antoinette came out with. With the dog with Crystal did not bring Lainey because she was helping me. Oh, I know. You know, our girl used to talk ridiculous and be like, I'm gonna go work in the service industry. And we'd be like, girl, shut up. But

[Crystal]

I could do it. That's what you say.

[Jade]

I did it again. But she came and she helped Jasmine Crystal and Mary all through hand zing. And shout out to everybody who just came through and supported you all. They have such beautiful attitudes and energy within our community. And so I'm grateful for the support. That was a lot of fucking work.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

I grilled. Ooh. I want to say, the day before, I was on the grill for like 11 hours.

[Crystal]

I thought about you because it was also 100 degrees, sister.

[Jade]

It was asshole hot. Do you hear me? I was in the peak sun. It was under titty sweat hot.

[Noah]

Yes.

[Jade]

And I was in the peak zone from like 10am to like 10pm 11pm

[Crystal]

I thought about you.

[Jade]

I did all for my. To have brisket and smoked chicken and

[Crystal]

they did smoked mushroom mushrooms.

[Jade]

I did those. A day of mushrooms. But the chicken and the brisket and it just was a good time. And it was just really. I'm really grateful for the support. That's what I'm the most grateful for. Shout out to Ray from Ray. You've met Ray before. Ray used to work at Cadillac. He was Dustin's co worker. And Ray is the. He's the brother now. So he came through all the way from Jersey. Like, people came from out of town, which was really, really lovely. So Chef Jade is going to be a little bit more apparent this summer. I will be doing a couple more things. Not too many, but a few.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And I'm just trying to really, like, make sure that I put myself out there a little bit more on my culinary side of things. I'm like, you've been podcasting a long time. You've been running that mouth for a long time, bitch. But, you know, show them what you. I did not spend $40,000 on school to do nothing.

[Crystal]

That's correct. Listen.

[Jade]

So, yeah, I'm gonna do a little bit more. And it feels good for the spirit. Like, it feels good to me to be able to step it out and do this. And honestly, summer is my busiest season of that, and it's the most motivating season to do that. And I think as black people, while we're in our renaissance era, as I have said, where I feel like with the cut of DEI and with the cut of all of these, just all of these different initiatives and support because they don't want us to have it forces us to check back into the things that we love and the things that we're good at and see why we love doing them and to really do them for the love of it. When you don't have all the monetary stuff behind you and white people's guilt, you know what I'm saying? And so I feel like we're in a renaissance era and I'm trying to be fully present in that era when it comes to my own work. So that felt really good. And that's my self care this year.

[Crystal]

I love what's yours. Well, congrats on the pop up.

[Jade]

Thank you so much.

[Crystal]

I'm very excited and happy for you. And it's really dope to sort of see you step into all things Chef Jade. Thank you. I will say that. You know, I guess going back to what I was talking about earlier, I think the reading has really been a good form of self care for me here recently, especially given how heavy this week has been. And I am proud of myself because I feel like I have been giving myself space and not being so hard on myself. I can kind of be. It makes me think of Dr. Shantae, shout out to Dr. Shantae, shout out to you, Dr. Shantian, when she was talking about not having goals but having questions for yourself. And I think I have often put a lot of pressure on myself to sort of like always be doing, be producing because I do really want to do impactful work and you know, like you said, not necessarily motivated by the money or recognition, but I really, really want to like, share what I'm, what I've learned and what I'm learning and to do that in ways that are impactful. And I, I have been caught up in sort of feeling like I should be doing something a particular kind of way, but not really knowing what that is. But I've really been sitting with like, you know, what I'm doing right now is enough and just sort of like letting myself walk through, you know, when I think about my birthday, when I think about Christmas and we were all with dda, I didn't think that he would pass a month after that. And so that has been something that it sort of like changed all of my goals for, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it just changed my entire perspective on what 2026 is. And you know, I did have some things that I wanted to do, but I feel like now I'm okay with just sort of like trying to take care of myself and trying to do things that feel good for my heart and for my mind and writing. You know, I write on my substack when I want to. I don't want to feel like I have to have something a week or every, you know, I post when I have something to say, I share when I have Something to share and not really getting caught up in, you know, oh, I need to do an Alpha of the day. I need to do this or that I want to do. I do what I want to do.

[Jade]

But it takes the joy out of

[Crystal]

it, when you put it. I want to do it because of the joy, because. And I want my social. I want to be someone who is chronicling doing things that make her feel like her.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And make her feel like her joyous and most best self.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

And I. I'm proud of myself for easing up on some of that self imposed pressure to perform.

[Jade]

Yeah. We do it to ourselves a certain

[Crystal]

way or to show up a certain way. But you know, lots of change at work, lots of change family wise. Lots of change in the world. And sometimes you just gotta like be like, okay, things are changing and I'm not really sure, but I know for today I'm okay. And I'm just gonna keep walking until tomorrow. And I think that's space I'm in.

[Jade]

I love it. I love that. Yeah, I love that, sis. Good for the heart. Well, shall we get negative and close this thing out with our petty peeves? I'm ready. All right, let's close it out.

[Crystal]

Okay. Country. Petty, petty, petty. All the same to me. Playing James Forget. All right. I took the Amtrak here.

[Jade]

Godspeed. That's as expensive as the plains.

[Noah]

It is.

[Jade]

I know.

[Crystal]

It really is.

[Jade]

It's very insane.

[Crystal]

And as someone who grew up in New York and remembers when The Amtrak was $45.

[Jade]

$40.

[Crystal]

It really does.

[Jade]

Don't get me started on the fun.

[Crystal]

Really does.

[Jade]

Rest in peace. The $10.

[Crystal]

I mean, it really is just like, wow, it's wild. But on the Amtrak, not in the quiet car. I think I sat at business class, but there was a man sitting next to me. We were both working, which is fine. Cause that's what happens in the business class. People be working. He started answering his emails, sister. He was dictating out loud.

[Jade]

Oh, no.

[Crystal]

He was talking into the phone.

[Jade]

Oh.

[Crystal]

And when I tell you, I looked at the side of his face like I said, I know you see me looking at you. Cause you're gonna have to shut up.

[Jade]

What?

[Crystal]

I mean, not like a quick text message. That man said, next paragraph.

[Jade]

That's lazy. And it's very much like, not only is it entitled and selfish, but it's lazy.

[Crystal]

We're talking a full car. We're not talking like, oh, this is kind of empty. It's not a lot of people on the train. Every seat was full and yes. It's not the quiet car, but people are doing things and you're distracting.

[Jade]

Let me dial it back. Did you see him typing at any point? Because I don't want to be.

[Crystal]

No, he did because I waited.

[Jade]

Okay, all right. Okay, he did. Oh, so you're just choosing not to at this point.

[Crystal]

And at one point, I mean, I think when he got tired of texting, he pulled out his laptop and started to answer the emails. So it was very much like, so this is why I did it. I waited and I was just like, okay, so this is not. It would be different if I thought that he had a disability or anything. But no, no, no, no, no. He was just being obnoxious and I just wanted him to be jailed immediately. I was just looking at him like, so you are disturbing every ounce of my.

[Jade]

Like, where's the jail, Coach?

[Crystal]

Please. I say now. Okay, police reform. This is the person y' all need on this term.

[Jade]

And I already, I already know. Yes, I already know. Yes, yes, I know. And you know, they'll get in a, in an elevator talking loud like we all want to hear all of these things.

[Crystal]

He coming up the aisle. Oh, I'm your neighbor. Okay, girl, just sit on down.

[Jade]

I don't need all of that.

[Crystal]

I don't need all that. Can you plug, can you. Because I'm sitting next to the window, the plugs is on my side. Can you plug this in for me?

[Jade]

No, I cannot.

[Crystal]

I said, sure. But he was just very like intense. And then when I realized he was texting, maybe he was on cocaine talking to text in that phone. I said, sir, if you don't pull that laptop out and write this email and stop talking to me. He said, next paragraph.

[Noah]

Uh huh.

[Crystal]

And then he's spelling people's name, capital

[Jade]

P R. And then also, what makes you think the people that you're engaging business with.

[Crystal]

Cause you talking out loud.

[Jade]

All of their business spread out to strangers.

[Crystal]

Cause I, if I'm not mistaken, cause I heard all of his stuff. I feel like he was an attorney.

[Jade]

That feels like that's illegal. Don't let him be a doctor. I would just start screaming, hipaa.

[Crystal]

I said, this is not feeling very.

[Jade]

Nah, that don't feel. That don't feel like attorney.

[Crystal]

He work at a law firm.

[Jade]

That's inappropriate. Very.

[Crystal]

And so I was like, sir, you are on my very last nerve and I don't want to bust your head.

[Jade]

I'd literally snitch. I'd find the name of the law firm because I know he said, it multiple times or it was bigger than his computer.

[Crystal]

I know, listen. I know who his executive assistant is. I know. Because he was telling all the people business all throughout the train.

[Jade]

That's insane.

[Crystal]

And he was trying to, like. And he had a heavy voice, so he thought he was whispering and it just sounded like.

[Jade]

Because the bass of a heavy voice across a room absolutely is.

[Crystal]

You can feel that joint in your ears. Like, you get. You can't whisper.

[Jade]

I know.

[Crystal]

Number one.

[Jade]

Godspeed, you, sister. And this was the whole ride.

[Crystal]

I mean, I think he saw me. He pulled out the laptop after I kept looking at him like. Cause I kept. I was hitting him with the.

[Jade]

I would've turned and be like, get to clicking and clacking.

[Crystal]

I said, and I'm just typing. I said, you see, the rest of us is all using our computer.

[Jade]

Like, you can do it too.

[Crystal]

And you're just over here.

[Jade]

Clips my nigga. You can do it too.

[Crystal]

He's just all in the phone. And. I mean, I'm sure he was an older man. Listen, I know the thumbs can get annoying, but you're gonna have to figure that out.

[Jade]

Yeah, well, you gotta work on some stress ball. Get your strength up then. Cause that's what I'm working on with my handwriting. I realized my hand muscles are weak at this point.

[Crystal]

My handwriting is getting worse and worse.

[Jade]

It's getting worse and worse. And so I think I'm. I have to do things to intentionally. Like. I literally will have my notebook and be like, test, test, test. But I need him to practice in doing the same thing. Nobody wants to hear everybody's teaching.

[Crystal]

I write in my journal. Sometimes I'll type in my journal, but sometimes I will actually get my notebook out and actually write it. Because it's like, you'll lose it. You can't lose it.

[Jade]

You'll lose it. My grandma still writes letters.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

And I. She probably has better hands than me.

[Crystal]

And she's 90, so my mother has pristine handwriting.

[Jade]

Cause she continued to write.

[Crystal]

And I just was. I mean, it's like, wow, that's amazing.

[Jade]

I'm really jealous.

[Crystal]

Beautiful curses.

[Jade]

Tristan has really good handwriting too. But he's a teacher, so he does all that writing.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

I gotta get with the winning team. I gotta do better. I gotta do better.

[Crystal]

These weak ass heads.

[Jade]

Bitch ass heads. Little. Little pussy phalanges.

[Crystal]

Pussy phalanges is something.

[Jade]

That's gonna be my drag name.

[Crystal]

I thought you said it was gonna be D.L.

[Jade]

hughley. Oh, I changed it. D.L. hughley is one of my dreams.

[Crystal]

Drag names, phalanges is crazy.

[Jade]

Coming to the stage.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

My petty peeve. My petty peeve this week. Okay, I am. I'm. If this person is listening to this, I want you to listen to this with the utmost of love. I said it on Jaden xd, but I think it's warranted to say again, again, stop requesting things of our businesses, our us as a people that you would not get from a large conglomerate or giant entity if you could not make a Bilal concert the day. Maybe that's not a good example. Bilal's playing at the park this weekend. Oh, is he? He is. I can't wait. Yeah, but if you can't make a Beyonce concert, if you can't go to the Jay Z concert this weekend, you are not sending an email to Ticketmaster and saying, hey, I can't make it. Can I have my money back?

[Crystal]

That's true.

[Jade]

I am a teeny little. I literally just told you all that. I sat over a grill at 100 plus degrees and I don't even wanna talk about what the heat index was. Can I have my own? And listen, I don't ever want that to take away from the gratitude of what I give support of the community. But I think it is very warranted to say, really take a step back before you send things and think to yourself, is this an appropriate request? Is this something that I would request of another business in the same capacity?

[Crystal]

Cause whether or not that person could come, you still invested your time, your skill, and you bought the food and

[Jade]

I accounted for your head. You ordered the shit.

[Crystal]

That's right, you did.

[Jade]

I ain't never hit nobody. Be like, I can't make it, so I'm gonna need that refund back.

[Crystal]

Yes.

[Jade]

No, that's not how that works.

[Crystal]

A refund? Yeah. A pop up is. Yeah, that's not. Yeah, that's not.

[Jade]

And imagine if you're doing that. Maybe there are 10 or 15 other people who are doing that. That was not the case here. But imagine if that's the case. And then you've got this small business that's literally just like a mom and pop shop, because that's what I am at this point, if you really want to talk about it. And then I'm supposed to come out of pocket and pay 15 niggas back for plates because they couldn't make it. Like, come on, y'.

[Noah]

All.

[Jade]

So I say that with the. I say that with the most love. I really do. But. But don't do. Stop doing that shit. Stop. Because It's I and I. And. And don't do it to anybody else because it's not nice and it's not right. And it's entitled. It's entitled. I get. And I know times are hard, and I know oftentimes we want to support people that we love as well, and we do that by pushing our last. I'm telling you, never need to support me with your last. You all listen to the shows and support enough. I know you will support me when you have the circumstances to do so. But if you can't, don't request no refund from me because I can't give it. I can't give it. And, you know, just think about that with every small business that you support. And I'm just gonna leave that there, period.

[Crystal]

Is that.

[Jade]

Was that appropriate or not? I think so.

[Crystal]

I think it's a very reasonable request.

[Jade]

You know, it's just something for us to keep in mind. These are the conversations I would have with my child.

[Noah]

Yeah.

[Jade]

With my cousin, with my little cousins, siblings, you know what I'm saying? Just on some. Hey, when you go out in the world, maybe you don't operate like this,

[Crystal]

but this is the kind of conversation, this kind of raising, you know what I'm saying? Like, I feel like that's something that's missing.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

We don't have these kinds of conversations about, like, what are the implications of this. Decisions that you make.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

I can think very clearly about what I want and what I need and what. But you don't think about what will happen if, you know, what will be the result of my decision or behavior to someone else.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

And I think that's something that we have. That. That's another muscle we need to get back in the habit of exercising a bit more.

[Jade]

Look, that's what actually exercises my angry muscle, because you know how I am. My righteous indignation flies up and I'm like, why would you do this? I would never do this to another human. And then I'm like, jade, you can't expect everybody to operate how you operate in this world. But I think if we had. If we all just stepped outside of ourselves a little bit, just a little bit. Just a little bit.

[Crystal]

Just a little bit.

[Jade]

That we might flow a little bit more efficiently just in a greater society.

[Crystal]

Yes. Because no part of me would ever sit on a busy train and speak out loud. I would never hold the phone to my mouth and speak out loud. In two weeks, n had courtesy on

[Jade]

the phone, and I had been on the phone. Somebody Traveling with a duck. So not live. No live duck. A live duck into China.

[Crystal]

That man said, next paragraph. And I literally said, not next paragraph. Paragraph is crazy.

[Jade]

You're better. You know. You know, be. You know me. I would have been like, no more paragraphs. Shut it down now.

[Crystal]

You cannot be. You can't be serious right now. Because everyone. We're all working.

[Jade]

You've got to be careful.

[Crystal]

You gotta shut up.

[Jade]

This lady next to me was on the train. I mean, on the fucking plane before. She had a mask on, but she was doing all this stuff.

[Crystal]

I don't wanna hear nobody's bodily nothing.

[Jade]

I can't hired my. I was like, oh, my God. I was like, oh, I'm gonna catch it. She finally turned to me. She's like, I'm not sick. My allergies are out of control. I was like, all right, girl. I appreciate you saying something, but my God, don't get on the page.

[Crystal]

And the allergies, the pollen is very aggressive, But I understand. I'm trying to be sympathetic, but y' all got to calm down.

[Jade]

Let's just all be a little bit more considerate.

[Crystal]

Honking and snorting and hacking.

[Jade]

Honking, snorking and hacking. I'm gonna put that on a billboard. Jesus loves you. Anyway, thank you all so much for listening to another episode of Gay Grown. Do we have any announcements for the people before we go?

[Crystal]

I don't think so. We have just a few more graduation announcements.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

The very last ones that folks got in just before the deadline.

[Jade]

Yes, yes. We have not forgotten you.

[Crystal]

And you will be ready. You will be read. And outside of that, I don't think we have any other announcements.

[Jade]

All right, well, make sure you all are drinking your water.

[Crystal]

That's very important. That's right. That's right.

[Jade]

Minding your business.

[Crystal]

That's right. Keep that. Mind your business.

[Jade]

Your business.

[Crystal]

That's right.

[Jade]

And, sister, finish it. Us.

[Crystal]

Moisturize your skin. Yeah, okay. And throw some. Some sunscreen on that hoe as well.

[Jade]

Oh, yes, cuz. The sun is not what it used to be.

[Crystal]

Radioactive.

[Jade]

Yeah.

[Crystal]

As a person who has been black for all of my life, I've never really sunburned.

[Jade]

You burned.

[Crystal]

I burned.

[Jade]

As a nigga who's burned always. I'm burning worse.

[Crystal]

And I was like, first of all, I never burned, so I didn't know what was happening. I was in the bed like, why? You're like, why does my body hurt?

[Jade]

Why does my skin hurt?

[Crystal]

My body is hurting. Lord.

[Noah]

What?

[Crystal]

I was in the bed like, hey, what's going on. My body is hurting. I didn't.

[Jade]

What.

[Crystal]

I've never been sore in this way.

[Jade]

I was like, wow, we're living in sud. We ain't never lived in before.

[Crystal]

Yeah. My mom was like, girl, get you some aloe vera gel.

[Jade]

Yes.

[Crystal]

Get you some of that. Mix it in with your lotion and put your. Put your shea butter so on on top of that.

[Jade]

Did you peel?

[Crystal]

I didn't. Oh, I didn't peel. I did. It's when I was at the pool. Cause I feel like I don't be. I don't. I don't really get darker.

[Jade]

I'm jealous. I'm jealous of.

[Crystal]

I don't get darker in general unless I'm in the pool. Something about the water. Reflection.

[Jade]

The reflection. I know. Same when you're in the ocean, though.

[Crystal]

Yeah.

[Jade]

It's something with the reflect with the sun and the water. It's nice, though, for me. But I also have to, like, apply every 30 minutes.

[Crystal]

I was down to the sunscreen. I really was. And I feel like I'm glad I was, because if I hadn't, I feel like it would have been worse. But I definitely, like, the next day or day or two after I was at the pool, I was like, hey, my body's hurting. I don't know what's going on here.

[Jade]

Well, if you all don't want to turn into a fire extinguisher like me, I suggest that you listen to Kia and put on the sunscreen as well as moisturize yourself. And we'll see you all next week. Love you.

[Crystal]

Bye.

[Jade]

Bye. Those precious, magical memories you'll always cherish at Disney Cruise Line, we cherish them, too. Our ships are designed to help you discover those moments. Whether it's seeing the wonder in your child's eyes, feeling that quiet spark of joy as they reach for your hand, we're stumbling across that inside joke that's still funny years later. Make the memories that never leave you. Disney Cruise Line, where magic meets the sea.