Scheduled Sister Time

Summary

Gettin' Grown | "Scheduled Sister Time" (April 14, 2026)

Overview

In this episode of Gettin' Grown, hosts Keia and Jade embrace the heaviness of the current times by focusing on lightness, sisterhood, and connection. They describe the global challenges and the personal weight they each carry, but make a deliberate decision to "just play games," reflect, and spend scheduled quality time together. The theme of the episode—intentional reconnection, self-care, and celebrating the joys and nuances of Black womanhood—shines as they share honest and tender moments, reminisce, and uplift each other.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Heaviness of the Present Moment

• Both hosts candidly discuss the collective heaviness they feel due to social, political, and personal stressors.
  • Jade: "You know, just hanging on in a crumbling society." [06:49]
  • Keia: "Everybody feels the heaviness... We're feeling the effects, and we've been watching this globally." [07:11-07:24]
• The exhaustion of daily life, particularly as Black women and professionals in helping fields, steers the conversation on decompressing, finding outlets (screaming in the car!), and holding space for one another.
  • Jade: "I turn my last meeting off in the car and be like, oh, Jesus." [04:34]

2. The Power and Necessity of Reconnection

• Amid world chaos, they prioritize intentional time together, reflecting on the importance of sisterhood and Black woman connection as a source of strength.
  • Jade: "Connection is necessary. Being present and enjoying the people that we love is necessary." [09:16]
  • Keia: "We have to remain intentional about...locking in with each other, remembering that we are safe." [09:24]

3. Joy, Music, and Family Memories

• The episode opens with classic R&B lyrics, segueing into memories of their parents and reflections on how Black adults create spaces for themselves to decompress—sitting in the car or kitchen, taking a moment from family obligations. Each shares stories of recognizing their elders' need for solitude and how they've come to understand and practice it themselves.

4. Reflecting on Recent Episodes & Guests

• Briefly recapping impactful prior conversations:
  • Camaraderie among Black women (Char),
  • Land, real estate, and Black ownership (Kat),
  • Black women's health and "uterus hugs" (Dr. Wendy and Dr. Sharon Malone).
• Jade expresses gratitude for intergenerational and expert support, humorously noting, "Our uteruses need a hug. They've been in so much turmoil for so long." [08:35]

5. Intentional Sister Time—Let’s Play a Game

• To lighten the mood, Keia and Jade choose to replay “We’re Not Really Strangers,” a conversation-driven card game, diving into questions that prompt laughter, nostalgia, and deep sharing.

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Memorable Moments & Quotes (with Timestamps)

Music & Family Nostalgia

• Jade: "There are sometimes when ... your mama was in the kitchen, in her house dress with the music on, just closing her eyes, sobbing out because ... she just needed a moment." [02:45]
• Keia: "I have distinct memories of my father at times ... in complete and utter darkness blasting some musical selection for whatever mood he was feeling at the time." [03:03]
• Jade: "My mama would sit out in the driveway ... just resting her understanding." [03:22]

Relatable Adulting Humor

• Both hosts describing post-Zoom decompressing:
  • Jade: "I have developed the practice of like, screaming ... Sometimes you have to just cry out." [04:34-05:09]
  • Keia: "Sometimes you just have to yell. That's what it is." [05:11]

Collective Struggles, Humor, and Connection

• Jade: "Everything's bad. The government sucks. They're killing everybody, and nothing changes ever. And it's really, you know, I think everybody is feeling the effects of it." [05:43]
• Keia: "We're going to play games. We're just going to chat... It's a light episode." [09:02]

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Kitchen Table Talk: "We're Not Really Strangers" Game

Level 1: Perception

• Shoes & Personalities: They dissect each other’s shoe choices, revealing character traits and life stages.

  • Jade: "Your shoes tell me ... you like a look. You’re not a one lane person. ... And we don’t care, after a while. I don’t give a damn." [29:22–30:43]
  • Keia: "You like a funky shoe ... prioritize comfort ... not looking for a standard shoe." [30:43–31:52]

• Movie Characters Analogy: Assigning each other roles based on personality and growth.

  • Jade to Keia: "You give me an evolved Molly from Insecure ... You've got your together career-wise. And ... that self-awareness ... [of] where you want to be." [34:10–36:46]
  • Keia to Jade: "I see you as a restaurant owner ... community based ... the place everyone would pop ... all hang out there, karaoke..." [37:04–39:47]
  • Jade's creative movie: Keia as an educational Olivia Pope, fixing a billionaire scholarship scandal for Black students. [40:05–42:44]

Level 2: Connection

• Dreams Let Go Of: Both share personal dreams they've had to release.

  • Jade: "Playing my flute again. I was first chair ... but life happened." [44:15]
  • Keia: Letting go of a family tradition with her late grandfather ("DDA")—singing a cherished song at major events—due to his passing. [45:13–47:07]
  • Desire to work in talk radio: “I would love to ... like, call-in, just talking ... that would be a dream.” [49:39]

• Earliest Happiness: Heartwarming childhood memories.

  • Jade: "Grandparents’ anniversary party ... me and my cousins performed En Vogue ... performed Kris Kross jump." [50:27–51:57]
  • Keia: "Christmas morning in fifth grade, I got a computer ... I would get dressed like I was going to work and go set up at that computer ... corporate girly!” [52:24–55:27]

Level 3: Reflection

• Describing Their Conversation:

  • Jade: “Refreshing.” Keia: “I needed this.” [60:50–60:58]

• Superpowers:

  • Jade to Keia: “Your vulnerability ... allows people to feel safe ... to express their own vulnerability as well.” [61:09]
  • Keia to Jade: “You are such a fierce protector ... if your spirit tells you something’s important ... you go all in ... that’s your superpower.” [62:00]

• On Why They Met:

  • Jade: “It was ordained by God ... we’re a yin and yang ... to provide a community where all those complicated, challenging, and rewarding parts of Black woman life can be spoken about freely.” [65:00–66:57]
  • Keia: “God brings you into proximity ... people who have had different experiences than you to expand your understanding ... Our connection is a choice.” [67:41–70:45]

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Lessons in Black Woman Self Care ([75:35])

Jade’s NYC Day of Self-Care

• Rekindling joy through a classic, carefree NYC day with sisters—happy hour, catching up, loving support, and laughter.
  • “We went out on a Tuesday having drinks. Stayed until almost midnight ... filled my spirit.” [76:47–77:55]
  • On Black women’s love raising the standard: “It raises the standard. I don’t need you, Daquan ... because I know what it feels like to be loved properly.” [78:47–80:02]

Gentle Beauty For Sensitive Skin

• Jade’s search for clean skincare and makeup (Ilia, Saie, Danessa Myricks) to avoid contact dermatitis. [81:33–83:08]

Keia’s Writing Practice & The Spiral Notebook

• Starting a communal Substack called The Spiral Notebook for reflection, community, and collective healing.
  • “Not just for me, but for everyone … because there is powerful work in sitting and processing your thoughts.” [87:39–88:54]
  • “It feels very natural, very much like... divine.” [87:39]
  • Recalling the old-school tradition of passing spiral notebooks and gel pens among friends for notes, creativity, and support. [86:22–86:54]

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Petty Peeves ([93:40])

Tangible Occasions Event Planner Scandal

• Jade and Keia call out an unethical event planner ("Tangible Occasions") for ghosting a client, showing no accountability, and misusing community trust.
  • Jade: “May you have the day that you deserve, lady ... the last thing we need is somebody within our community to be harmful to others.” [95:06]
  • Keia: “It costs nothing to communicate ... don’t gaslight people.” [97:03–98:10]
  • Both emphasize community, accountability, and respect as essential business values.

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Notable Quotes

• Jade: "We used to play games. My dad would cheat. He'd be like, that's your fault for not watching. Terrible." [60:22]
• Keia: "We choose to be connected…and that has healed so many parts of my heart." [67:41]
• Jade: "My community is so important to me, and yeah, I’ll ride for you. I really would." [63:57]
• Keia: "I’ve been praying for the Lord to send me the right billionaire... to let me do what needs to be done. Just get out of the way." [42:10]

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• [01:11] – Musical Open & Mood Setting
• [03:03–04:14] – Family memories & decompression
• [07:11–10:21] – Collective heaviness & need for intentional connection
• [28:51–39:47] – Kitchen Table Talk: "We’re Not Really Strangers": perception and fun insights
• [44:15–51:57] – Dreams let go & earliest happiness recollections
• [60:50–66:57] – Reflection, superpowers, and why their friendship matters
• [75:35–83:08] – Self care: NYC day, clean beauty, The Spiral Notebook Substack project
• [93:40–102:32] – Petty Peeves: Tangible Occasions event planner warning

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Tone & Language

The episode embodies warmth, laughter, and authenticity, sprinkled with playful banter, honest vulnerability, and plenty of classic Black auntie realness. Keia and Jade’s conversational style mixes the deeply personal with the universally relatable, always centering care, candor, and communal joy.

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In Summary

“Scheduled Sister Time” is an intentional pause for joy, reflection, and friendship amid turbulent times. Keia and Jade invite listeners to find their own “scheduled sister time”—to check in, reconnect, laugh, cry, heal, and hold themselves and each other up. The episode is full of nostalgic memories, vulnerable truths, honest critiques (especially of folks who don't handle their business!), and reminders that Black women’s self-care and community-building are both radical and crucial.

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For More

• The new Spiral Notebook Substack: [Keia’s collective reflection space]
• Patreon for video versions: [Patreon link not provided in transcript]
• Instagram: @GettinGrownPod

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End of Summary

Transcript

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[A]

Remember when you first found love how you felt so good Kind of thing that lasts forever more so you thought it would Suddenly the things you see got you hurt so bad so bad how come the things that make us happy make us sad? Seems to me Joy, pain and pain I like sunshine Faith and rain Joy and pain I like sunshine and rain oh, man. I thought that was an appropriate. I thought that was an appropriate selection. Very good for where we are, you know what I'm saying?

[B]

Very much, right?

[A]

You know, love can be bitter Love can be sweet Sometimes devotion and sometimes deceitful

[B]

and praise the Lord Praise the Lord.

[A]

Oh, but it's all right they're both one in the same. Listen, it was about to crack, so I cut it down, okay?

[B]

This is when you gotta think about it. There are sometimes when you think back and there was just times where your mama was in the kitchen, in her. In her house, dressed with the music on, just closing her eyes, sobbing out because what. Whatever was going on outside just. She just needed a moment.

[A]

Listen, I have distinct memories of my father at times where I would walk in the crib and he would be in the complete and utter darkness blasting some select some musical selection for whatever mood he was feeling at the time. And I used to be like, oh, yeah, yeah, he's on his Ashley brothers snack.

[B]

All right? I mean, you got like. It puts things in such context, right? There would be times when my mama would sit out in the driveway and we would be at the back door, like, come in the house, girl. Hello. And she would just be sitting out there resting her understanding. And I Get it? Because ain't nobody in this house, but I still be in the garage sitting in the dark. Like, my God.

[A]

Exactly, Exactly. Sometimes you just need to decompress.

[B]

Sit in the dark in the garage, like.

[A]

And imagine two little yipping at your ankles. Alfred wouldn't say it crookly. She goes, I can't do anything without sex. People hanging off my.

[B]

Yes, it's serious. When I think about it, it's like, man, we. As soon as Rhonda hit the door, it was questions. What we going to eat? Where we going to go? I need this. I need that dinner. And it's like, girl, if you don't get somewhere and take a breath.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. This is why people sit in the

[B]

car in the dark. Like, girl up talking to me. Talk to me immediately.

[A]

Immediately. Especially now, right? Please. Especially now. Please shut up talking to me.

[B]

I'll be back to back in meetings every, like, you know, you turn off your last meeting. I have developed the practice of, like, screaming. Like, I turn my last. I turn the last, like in the car to be like, oh,

[A]

Jesus.

[B]

I just sit here and just cry out. Sometimes you have to just cry out. Oh, oh, God. I just need to release. And it has help.

[A]

It's true.

[B]

Sometimes you just gotta cry out.

[A]

Sometimes you just have to yell. Yeah, that's what it is.

[B]

Just, just.

[A]

I told you. I'd just be praying to the air now. I'd be like, spirit, what's up, man? Like, yo, is what is happening? Listen, what is happening?

[B]

Mumblings and the mumbling. Grandma used to just be walking around mumbling and praying. DDI used to say, yes, Lord, and be like, oh, my God, that's me. All day long now, Lord, what is it? Yes, Lord, it's me again. My God, can you please.

[A]

Yeah, I'm here because it's crazy out there.

[B]

Yes, Lord, it is me again. Here we are again.

[A]

Well, can you answer some questions? You know, I approach in different ways, you know, you will. You will. Yes, Lord, I will say cards, spirits, talk to me through, please. I need to. I need to pull out these cards. Just somebody talk to us and tell us what's going on. Because we just, you know, I feel like. I feel like a parrot at this point is what I feel like. I'm like, oh, everything's bad. The government sucks. They're killing everybody, and nothing changes ever. And it's really, you know, I think everybody is feeling the effects of it. I had a professional development yesterday, period.

[B]

I know that's right.

[A]

As one of New York City's newest educators, period. But it was my type of orientation because first and foremost, they said, before we do anything, we're going to honor that we are on lenapehoking land. And I was like, yes, a land acknowledgment.

[B]

I know that.

[A]

Give me a. Okay, this is how I know I'm in the right place. So we did a land acknowledgement first. Yeah. And. But even before that, when I got there, you know, you're speaking to people, you're grabbing breakfast and coffee and things like that, and they're like, you know, how you doing? And I'm like, you know, just hanging on in a crumbling society. That's my. That's just really my answer to.

[B]

As the world burns around us, we're just anarchist.

[A]

It is everybody who is like, is that not. Listen, that's it right there. I'm trying so literally I say that, to say that everybody feels the heaviness. Everybody feels the effects, literally. Globally, for sure. Globally, for sure. We're feeling the effects, and we've been watching this globally. But it's just really something when it permeates into every single nation. And it's really something when you know exactly where the fucking cancer is and you can't do shit about it. We know what it. We've been watching the cancer, and we watch the cancer spread. That's the crazy part about all of this. But we've had some. We've had some, you know, weighty and necessary conversations and incredible guests over the last few weeks. We had our. Our wonderful, incredible conversation with our sister Char, which was a necessary conversation about the camaraderie of black women across the Gambit. And then we had the conversation with Kat. You know, about land and deeds and, you know, things that we need to know about vacant spaces. And then we had an incredible conversation with our absolute fave, Dr. Wendy and Dr. Sharon Malone, who is just. Was she not like a hug?

[B]

The best round, I guess maybe to the.

[A]

Your uterus. That would be the appropriate. I don't know, like. Yes. You know, like, our uteruses need a hug. They've been so in so much turmoil for so long. You know what I mean? And it's like, yes. Come lay your. Your healing hands on me, Dr. Malone. Someone that.

[B]

Yes. Someone that sees.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

What my. What my ovaries are going through and acknowledging.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

Experience.

[A]

It makes it plain. You know what I mean?

[B]

Thank you.

[A]

We've had incredible conversations. And, you know, we said as we feel the heaviness, as we know all of you are Feeling the heaviness. We're going to play games. We're just going to chat.

[B]

We're going to connect.

[A]

We're just going to, like.

[B]

It's going to be.

[A]

We're going to. It's. It's a light episode. Connection is necessary. Being present and enjoying the people that we love is necessary.

[B]

Things are going on all around us. The news is swirling. It's very easy to feel heavy and bogged down and like, you know, overwhelmed and, you know, on the precipice of hopelessness. But we have to remain intentional about, you know, locking in with each other, remembering that, you know, we are safe, we have what we need, and if we don't, we are connected, you know, to one another. We will hold each other down no matter what. And so, you know, we wanted to sort of just spend some time reconnecting, having a deep breath, being intentional about laughing and thinking and just reflecting and getting to know each other, remembering why we f. With each other the way that we do and. And knowing that we not out here, you know, in this mess and muck by ourselves.

[A]

And so getting to lie, getting to hope you like me.

[B]

Haven't you noticed? I love you, Julie Andrews.

[A]

Don't you threaten me with a good time. Okay, don't play getting to know. Okay, I will go right there. Getting to know all about you.

[B]

I'll be on the plane watching it. I'll be watching it. Showing all my back teeth on.

[A]

Sister of all the beautiful and new things I'm learning about you. Yes,

[B]

I love it. I'm sick.

[A]

Yes, that is my jam. That and also a horrible. You go back. It's all horrible. But as a child, though, I am 16 going on 17. That was my jam.

[B]

I didn't know what was going on. Let me tell you something.

[A]

Historically, I was ignoring, but I was watching.

[B]

We did not. We were just so caught up. That's the power of music. Because you see, so caught up in the sounds, propaganda, up in the vibes, that we did not realize that we were watching just genocide and an oppressive regime,

[A]

like, had no freaking people busted

[B]

up in the convent. I said, wait a second now. Okay?

[A]

We were like, why they going after the Von Trapps? What's going on?

[B]

Oh, it's awful, but I love it. And I'm not gonna hold you. I will watch the sound, especially on a flight like Seattle, because I could watch the Sound of Music in its entirety. And it'll pass the time. So I live. You know, if you really take your time and get into that, them Nuns was singing. Yeah, okay.

[A]

They were singing. They were singing.

[B]

It's like six part harmony.

[A]

How do you solve a problem like Maria? I mean, they are.

[B]

I sat on threads the last time when I was on the plane watching it. I posted on threads. Like, I really have wanted to be one of the tender nurses for my entire life because they are sitting down.

[A]

This is a good. This is a good. I have a quick question. You are in alto, correct?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Okay. XZ said something XD ish today. I can't remember. Something. Something like derogatory slash alto adjacent. And I was like, hey, hey, Kia's about to bust up in the room right now. He was like, oh, yeah, she hate.

[B]

Tell me it's so petty,

[A]

but do some of your sisters give you a bad name?

[B]

Probably, I'm sure. Make no mistake. But I feel like every section has its quirks. Now, let's not like, I can imagine none of the girls are blameless. Let's be real about it.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. That's okay.

[A]

So give me as a. As a. As a singing ass, you know, girl, lady, I was trying to call. I literally was about to call you a sick ass, but I was like,

[B]

I feel like that's gonna be my type because I'm going to sing it ass, period. And I also feel like heaven is going to have a majorette squad and I'm gonna try out. I'm gonna be a majorette for Christ. It's really been one of my lifelong,

[A]

you know, I feel like if heaven had a ghetto and I was there, then I would probably be. Have you ever seen that young lady Taryn's content, where she is like angels in heaven and she does lovely, like, tributes to people's family members and things like that?

[B]

I think I have seen that.

[A]

So there's a demon up there named Tammy, and Tammy seems like a good soul, but just like, you know, maybe a tinge unsavory, but landed her way there. So again, I say, you know, if heaven got a ghetto and I'm supposed to be there, I'd probably be the Tammy. That's what I would imagine.

[B]

I see it. I believe that heaven has like a HBCU marching band, and I'm going to be on the majorette squad.

[A]

That I can see that for you with your little skirt, I mean, skirts up there. Yeah. And you'll have the best knees if you're in heaven. I can imagine everybody's legs. I mean, knees going up to your earlobe.

[B]

So fine. I just can't. Wait.

[A]

Okay, wait. So my original question to you.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Does. So give me the stereotype. So just like everybody hates the altos. I forget why he said.

[B]

I don't even know. I. I feel like it's just hate. Okay.

[A]

He says something about a personality, but. But give me the stereotypes of each section.

[B]

Okay. And aggressors gonna be mad at me, but it's okay.

[A]

No, I'm asking for this rage bait, content. I.

[B]

No, I don't even know. Like, so I would just have to speak from my own experience.

[A]

Okay. Yes, always.

[B]

I would say that the sopranos are typically very. They're kind of snooty. It's kind of like I'm a soprano. Very like, okay.

[A]

Oh, okay.

[B]

Very like. Yeah, the.

[A]

The. The tone matches the, the attitude.

[B]

Yeah. It's very like, you know, Whitley Gilbert. Yes, exactly that girl.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

You're giving yourself a whole lot, but God bless you.

[A]

Got it.

[B]

And you know, sometimes I think that they're. The perception is that they can sing kind of cute. Like, it's like they're not going to really, like, you know, very few of them really say it with their chest.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

They're not going to, you know, it's not a lot of over exertion. They're just going to keep it in a very prim and proper kind of approach to things.

[A]

Would Amerie be considered a soprano?

[B]

I could see that. I could see that. You know, I could see that. I would say, conversely, I think the altos, you know, very chesty, kind of say it with your chest. You know, I think a. Personalities represented in the altos. You know, you have your different contingent. You have those people who are lazy sopranos who are supposed to be over there, but they not trying to do all of that. So, you know, they're sort of like under undercover. Okay. Then you have the people who are like true altos. And that can run the gambit as well. Like, you know, vocally, I think personality wise, I think there's. There tends to be a lot much. There's more like fun. There's a lot more personality in the alto section. I guess I'll leave it that way.

[A]

Okay. Got it. Yes. I like that. And you're not a monolith.

[B]

We come to have a good time. Okay.

[A]

Okay. Sometimes that just, you know, intimidates people. Yeah.

[B]

They don't want they mad because they can't. They hear us over here laughing and giggling.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Good times.

[A]

Yeah. You got to work on yourself.

[B]

You got to work on yourself. Okay. Okay. And then, you know, a lot of times that. Can people internalize that as shade? It's like. It's not shade. We're just enjoying ourselves. And if you were to stop be over there being weird, you can come over here and enjoy yourself too. But you. You want to be weird, you see?

[A]

Okay. Okay. And the tenors.

[B]

So the 10 is also a gambit. Like you usually have the girls, the gays, the days, everyone representing the tenors, you know, and, you know, it depends upon your. Your choir size and culture. You know, some choirs have a whole lot of tenors, whole lot. Others. Others, you know, can struggle and not have as many. And they'll be there. There'll be some lady tenders over there, which is always. You know, I've always wanted to be a lady tender, but don't nobody want to let me.

[A]

Why?

[B]

It's a different conversation. They just don't.

[A]

They just won't.

[B]

They won't let me. It's not. I don't think it is. I think it's. I don't know. I want to be. But they just be like, girl, you just. I guess, similar to the lazy sopranos. I guess I would be a lazy out, though.

[A]

Got it. Okay.

[B]

Because I really just, you know, I just. And I. I don't know. But. Yeah, I don't know. I don't. It's probably. It would really have to depend. It would really have to depend on. Every choir is kind of set up different.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

People usually fall all out when the tenor scene, whether they sound good or not. I think people just get off on a bunch of men singing. So whether they sound good or not is every time the tenders get some. Everyone's like. Like, you could just hear the people just falling all out in the floor. I know your nephew is up here squalling. I hear you got it. But, you know, we love them. We love the dinners with them. When everyone is on their square and singing their part, it all comes together. And most of the time, the choirs that I have been like, you know, we can talk trash about each other, but I'm not gonna have you talking bad about anybody in my choir, whether they are soprano also or a tenor. Because, you know, the real loyalty always in squad. Yeah, very much. Squad. Squad, squad. And, you know, I think get a little deeper. It sort of varies from denomination to denomination.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Like, you know, your soprano and your Baptist soprano are not one in the same. I feel like that should be no.

[A]

I can imagine. Yes. Huh.

[B]

Same to be. Same same. We can go do the same thing across like, you Know apostolic, non denominational there. I think we. This would would. You know, we could really do a deep dive into this if we had some time. But you know, we don't have to go there today. But you see, okay, it's a culture. It's a.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

It's a place to sit. It's a thing.

[A]

I'm so fascinated and I am grateful for the insight.

[B]

We should talk to Nikki about it this weekend. I would love to get her impression.

[A]

She won't be there. I know she won't be there.

[B]

I just text her and ask her to do my makeup. Well, I guess I have to.

[A]

She had a death in the family.

[B]

Oh no.

[A]

Okay, so they had an in law pass. We're gonna send love their direction. So she will not be able to make it the last moment.

[B]

I'm so sorry.

[A]

I know. I'm so sad. We are going to have a reunion, a reunion with the sisters this weekend to celebrate our sister in a belated way. When the. The windstorm, the freeze storm took over everything and ruined everybody's January.

[B]

That is everything in January.

[A]

Let me not say ruin. Let me say made everybody sit down.

[B]

That's true.

[A]

Which I think you know, Covid taught me that like, we need intentional moments where people are forced to say, you

[B]

gotta because you got want, it comes Right.

[A]

You know what I mean?

[B]

You can't push the issue.

[A]

No, we created a. It created a gambit of other issues,

[B]

you know, for people.

[A]

And there's social. Social awareness. But also I think it, it. It was a necessary moment where like the birds sang louder because you were not in the street with your pollution.

[B]

They were so excited because they have been.

[A]

Yeah, they were like, tweet, tweet, tweetly, tweet. Oh my God. Niggas was happy and I was listening to him. I was up with the birds. So I think that was the. But now we are going to celebrate our sister in a belated way and we're going to all be together. And by the time you all are listening to this, we are already back sleeping in our beds. And that is the best type of reunion.

[B]

Oh yeah.

[A]

Together you have a good time and then you make it back safely, which is what's going to happen for everybody.

[B]

Correct.

[A]

Amen. Amin Ashe. Shall we head to our kitchen table where we're gonna play games and.

[B]

Sure.

[A]

Okay, let's go. Have you ever coveted a shoe? And at every turn when you tried to buy it, something deterred you? Maybe they were out of your price range or the brand no longer had your size available because ew, nothing is worse than seeing that little grayed out unclickable box with your size slashed through. Maybe you resolved that it just wasn't in the cards for you. All of that was me with a pair of Tamara Melon Studio 54 caged heels. Now I wanted those shoes with a fervency and sadly I had to resolve that I wouldn't have them. And then my homegirl Nikki put me on the Poshmark and not only did I get my shoe, I didn't even have to pay full price for it. Sometimes the door closing is a window. Poshmark is the leading fashion resale marketplace shaped by real people and real style. Millions of new and pre loved items from daily wardrobe staples to vintage and luxury fashion. Okay darling, if you're fabulous like that, you can find it on Poshmark Archive worthy pieces you thought you missed forever. Current Essentials 1 of 1 Vintage finds it's all there. You all heard my Tamara Mellon story. Here's another one. A few years back I specifically needed a sweetheart neckline denim bustier top. Very specific because I know. But guess where I got it and guess who still has it and guess where I can sell it again? Because when you're ready for a closet refresh, you can earn real money selling the pieces you're ready to part with. Reaching more than 80 million users on the platform. So find what feels like you Shop and share your style on Poshmark today. New deals and styles are listed every day, so don't wait. Download the Poshmark app and use code Grown when you sign up to get $10 off your first purch or shop now at poshmark.com grown and get $10 off your first purchase. That's P O S H-M-A-R-K.com grown.

[B]

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[A]

month plan equivalent to $15 per month

[B]

required intro rate first 3 months only. Then full price plan options available, taxes and fees extra. See full [e-mail] it's been a little while, but we are going to revisit a game that we've played on the

[A]

show shall be full.

[B]

But that's the whole point of like buying games like this is that you don't just play it one time. Right. You just got to keep. You got to keep.

[A]

Yeah, you got to come back. You got to come back. You're not gonna get through all the cards.

[B]

You're not gonna get through all the cards or even like how we respond to any of the cars. Like, you know, it might change. And so this is game called we're not really Strangers. This is a viral card game that kind of picked up speed in like 2022. 2023 is still pretty popular on the socials. Like they post. Okay. Updated questions. They have a couple's version. They're still active. I looked into it a little bit earlier today. But the idea here is that there are different levels to how we connect.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And you know this is about testing how well you know the people that you say you really know. It's a purpose driven, stage driven card game. There are three carefully crafted levels that allow you to create meaningful connections with friends, families, a significant other, or even a complete stranger. So they sort of advance in depth as you go. So level one is perception. Level two is connection.

[A]

And level three is a wreath.

[B]

Reflection.

[A]

And so reflection.

[B]

I thought that it would be cool for us to just like, you know, do a couple of these.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

And catch up a bit. So how do you want to do it? Do you want to do like, do you want to do like a one, like level one question? Level two? Level like, get progressively deep or do like a couple level ones and then a couple level twos and then a couple levels three.

[A]

Let's do a couple of each.

[B]

Okay. So let's start at level one perception. I'm gonna pick one from the middle of the deck because I want to.

[A]

We're not gonna take it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

So sorry, I don't know where that came from.

[B]

No. Okay. I picked a couple of cards up. This one level one perception. Oh, okay, good. What, what do my shoes, like, my shoes tell you about me? Is it the shoes that I'm currently wearing or just like my shoes in general? How you want to take that? What do my shoes.

[A]

Let's do shoes in general.

[B]

Okay. What do my shoes tell you about me?

[A]

Your shoes tell me. Well, first of all, the amount and the variety tell me that you like to switch up the loop.

[B]

That's it.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Yes, indeed. It tells me that you also like a look, you know what I'm saying? Like, you like a look. You like, you like a variety.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? And you are not a one lane person. You know, you can, you'll, you'll put a nasty heel on. You'll also put on a very fly, nasty sneaker.

[B]

I will.

[A]

So, yes, I think your shoes tell me. And then I saw you with those kitten Hill, you know, Chancletta shoes that you had on when we went to. When we had our show you had on the kids.

[B]

Oh, yes. My little way.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Yes. So that. So like a variety.

[B]

The kids are coming back. You have to do it in a very particular way. But I mean, I'm also a woman of a particular age. That's what it should tell you. I'm a woman of a particular age. Right.

[A]

And we don't care. At a sad. After a while, it's like after.

[B]

After a while.

[A]

I don't give a damn about your.

[B]

Exactly. In some settings, I will prioritize my comfort, and I think that I have earned that in this season.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

My life.

[A]

Absolutely.

[B]

I would say, conversely, sis, you too. You like a funky shoe. You got quite a few statement shoes. I'm thinking about, like your green loafers. I'm thinking about your. Your cowboy boots, your clog. All varieties.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You. Yeah.

[A]

So many clogs. Yes.

[B]

You also prioritize comfort, but you don't.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

You're not looking for a standard shoe either. You want to make a statement. You want to reflect the truth of who you are, even in terms of your sneakers. Jade has sneakers. I feel like all of Jade's sneakers are typically very interesting colorways. Not going to get the expected colorway. Jade's going to get the, you know, it's going to be like a rattan and orange shoe. It's going to be like chartreuse and navy. It's going to be like, you know, it's going to give this one. She's going to have her earth tones, of course, and her neutrals.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

When the moment calls for a pop out, whether that's in the form of a funky sneaker or like a cute platform, you know, or. Or your beloved clogs.

[A]

I, you know, I. A clog of all the. I got boot cloths, I got suede clogs. I got leather clogs. I got yellow creation.

[B]

And Jay was not.

[A]

I do.

[B]

He was wearing clogs before all of y'.

[A]

All.

[B]

Jay was wearing clocks because she liked them all of her life.

[A]

I wore clogs in the fifth grade. I'm dead ass. That is not an exaggeration. Yeah. I had at least three pair of clogs. I can tell you right off the top of my head right now.

[B]

Mind you, I know that I was an adult before I owned a pair of clogs or even a mule. I told you that. I. It's. Remember when I used to be like, jay loves a mule?

[A]

Let me tell you. You want to talk about consistency? I don't vary from the script. I love you, baby. I don't know if it makes me feel more stable. I don't know, like, I don't know why. I just. I'm like, yeah, I can slip my foot in it. That's for me.

[B]

Very much. Very much. I do.

[A]

Yes, very much. Yeah.

[B]

But no, I love that. That was fun.

[A]

Okay, let us do another. That was a good one. That was a good one.

[B]

What character would I play in a movie?

[A]

Like, okay, is this like a character that we know already and that you're akin to or, like, I don't know, or like, your personality?

[B]

Whatever we. It could be whatever we want. So do you want.

[A]

This was tarot. We could get a clue. We would have a. A clarifying card. Okay, what now?

[B]

What happened?

[A]

What now?

[B]

I was like, I don't think there are any. Like, we don't.

[A]

It's like, I don't really know what that means. Okay.

[B]

I don't think we get any context. I think we can decide.

[A]

Huh. Okay.

[B]

Whether it is of an existing, like, movie or we want to create our own. Like, maybe it's the type of person. Like the type of. I don't know. Just go for it.

[A]

Yes. I think I want to say. I want to say very specifically in a more evolved way, because you are. You are an adult who has experienced life in very. In ways that have made you be who you are. Right. Okay. You'll understand what I mean when I say that.

[B]

The same.

[A]

Okay, you give me, like, an evolved Molly from Insecure in the sense where you got your together career wise.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

Right. And I've watched the evol. I. I have watched the evolution of your career because I have seen you since you was about to go into this program in the first place, still a student, you know,

[B]

and.

[A]

But now you're like, you got all your together. You got all your together professionally. And remember, we watched Molly evolve through the series.

[B]

Right.

[A]

So by the end of the series, she had gone to therapy. She had realized, like, maybe where some of her thinking limited her and some of her actions, et cetera, et cetera. Right. So that's why I say more evolved. But you give me that in the career sense and also in the. In that more evolved Molly, like that self awareness around, like, hey, I. This is where I once was and like, this is where I want to be, and this is how I model that.

[B]

Molly did her work. Molly did her work.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Out loud, I would not say that. I do not see it, like, relationally, I don't think I relate.

[A]

You see, I did not at all, at all mention her.

[B]

But I see where you are.

[A]

I'm thinking of an archetype, you know, like, I see where you're going.

[B]

I see where you're going.

[A]

I see a very professional black woman who is also, because also the other thing about Molly was, remember, she was all. All of this in her career, and Molly was also a black girl from. Where was she from Inglewood, Crenshaw, whatever. Like, her family was this loving, black.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Happy, very black family. You know what I'm saying? You know, like, wasn't a lot of pomp and circumstance. It was a lot of love, and they had what they need. And so I think in that sense, it's like you are also. You are this professional person. You've got all this together over here, and you've got this, like, core foundation.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? Of just, like, who you are, who also makes who you are.

[B]

Absolutely. I see it. I see it. I'm trying to think for you. I feel like they're like a. Just as a hodgepodge of characters.

[A]

Yeah. Let me think of more for you. Why you think?

[B]

Because I feel like there's so many.

[A]

See, they'd be making a lot of these characters so insufferable that I'm like, no, you're not. That.

[B]

I think it's like. I think. Because I think there is. If I were to, like, create a movie. I see you playing. I like this, like, you know, like, let's say we're in a setting where it's a group of friends or a group of couples or something like that. Like, I see you ask, like, this restaurant owner, you know, or like, you. You're a business owner. Whether it's like, a plant shop or a restaurant or even a smoke shop or, like, you, like, can you imagine your. Your entrepreneurial bag I'm seeing, though, honestly, it gives more like, restaurant, real farm to table. But black.

[A]

Oh, yes. I love that.

[B]

And I see you being, like, your restaurant being a very sort of like, community face, like, you know what I'm saying? Like, it's a place where everybody go, like, cheers. But, yes, but black. Yes.

[A]

But, yeah, I like.

[B]

Of course.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, and it's the place kind of like, oh, okay, like the den in Moesha.

[A]

Like, okay, yes.

[B]

Like the place everyone would pop. Like, you know, all of the couples, we were all sort of, like, ground, you know, all hang out there on Friday night. Oh, Jade is doing something at the. At the spot. Everyone shows up on Friday night. There's karaoke. There's, you know, there's just, you know, this kind of vibe. And, yeah, it would be you. You. It would be, you know, it would have the restaurant, but there would be a full sort of, like, you know, farmhouse outside with, like, chickens and. And gardens and. And herbs and plants. And the inside of it would, you know, have that, you know, very 70s decor, lots of drapery, you know, all the things. All the things. And. Yeah, that's. That's what I see. And, you know, whether the movie would sort of be set around this group of friends or this of, you know, like, chosen family, like, you know, that would be the role that you would play. You would be the business owner. You would have sort of like a base. Everyone will sort of convene around your space and your spot because. Yeah, you have.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

Okay. Wait. Yes.

[A]

Okay. You just made me. Okay, so now we're thinking outside the box. Okay. I'll take archetype out of it.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

You in my movie.

[B]

Okay. Okay.

[A]

There is a wealthy, wealthy billionaire.

[B]

Oh, I love.

[A]

All right, we're going. Who comes and he. And he promises all these black kids at this high school.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

All y' all are getting ready to get scholarships. I'm giving everybody scholarships. $50,000 starting for you to do your undergrad. Wah, wah, wah, wah, wah. I don't even know if that's the proper number, but let's just say it, right? And so the kids. Whoo. Yeah, we all getting scholarships.

[B]

La la, la, la, la.

[A]

Right? And the parents are relieved because more than half of them are like, man, I've just been trying to make it all this time. And, you know, like, this is such a blessing. Thank you so much. Boom, the floor falls out. As, you know, it always does. So then this doesn't follow through with his promise.

[B]

Oh, my God.

[A]

You know what? He dies. Oh, he dies. And there's nothing on paper. And so the person who takes over his whole estate is an evil person. That's what we'll say. This is a good man, and the person who takes over his whole estate is an evil person. And they cancel the whole project and they disappoint this whole gambit of black children and their parents, and everybody is distraught, and some of the kids don't even know if they're going to be able to go to school. School now. And here comes the hood hero.

[B]

I'm Olivia.

[A]

Takia. Hey. I'm the fix. You are coming. You come. Okay? And you are summoned by one of the teachers who's like, I heard about this black lady. We studied higher education for black and brown children. And she said she's going to make sure that black children never have to pay for college. And so you come in and you fix this whole situation, and you get all these children funding for them all to go to school. And they go on. Then there's a montage, and they show all of these successful ass black kids in whatever way that whatever success looks like. So, you know. And that is your movie, you know what I'm saying? A LA coach Carter. Dr. Robinson.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

I don't even know if Coach Carter. That was the premise.

[B]

I don't remember either. Yes. I love that. And, you know, it is now that I have been, you know, sort of working within philanthropy. I've been praying for the Lord to send me the right billionaire, the right person who has the resources. You know what I'm saying? Well, just let me do what needs to be done. Just get out of the way. There are several of us.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Work with.

[A]

It's just, they may not be ethical, but at least they're not meddlesome.

[B]

You know what I'm saying? Just get out.

[A]

Exactly. Yeah.

[B]

And let it be done, though, you know? Like, I'm talking about a real reallocation of resources that, you know, that addresses some of the deep and systemic ways that gratification is sustained. I would live for that, and I would love that. Olivia Pope. But not messy and not sort of sleeping with a powerful white man.

[A]

Yeah. No.

[B]

But. Yeah.

[A]

No closets. No, no, no sex. Closet sex. Not the white man in secret.

[B]

Not sleeping with a man in power. Not doing that.

[A]

But no.

[B]

Absolutely everything else. Can I wear, like, amazing tailored suits?

[A]

Oh, let's be very clear. Oh, you're a bad in every seat. Okay. It's like it's giving Devil wears Prada.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

But black and educational.

[B]

Oh.

[A]

You know what I'm saying? And then, of course, you know, there's one black girl because they all want to do different things.

[B]

Right.

[A]

But there's one black girl who comes up and she want. And she ends up. She's like. She's. She be studying. You should be studying your fashions. Should be studying how you move. She ends up being your protege.

[B]

Oh, my gosh. I would love.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

You know, I love the ute Them.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Okay. That was fun. I like this.

[A]

Yes. I like that.

[B]

Do you want to do another a

[A]

level one or should we progress to level two? Let's progress to level two.

[B]

All right. This is for connection.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Oh, what is a dream you've let go of?

[A]

Oh, man. Playing my flute again.

[B]

Oh, you used to be under 3, 000 with it, Jade.

[A]

Oh, sister. I was first chair. What you mean, boy sometimes. Don't know. I might. I probably have said it before. I say a lot of things. Yay. But I was first chair. Yeah. Your girl was very nasty. Nasty on the flute. I was a flautist. And, you know, fell off and then said I would pick it back up and, like, do adult lessons.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I just didn't. And it doesn't mean maybe let go of is strong, but, like, you know, there's so much life happening that it's like, when am I gonna have time to play this flute?

[B]

Yeah, it's true. It's very true.

[A]

Yes. So, yeah, I think that's. But I think that that's what came to me almost immediately, actually.

[B]

Yeah. Oh.

[A]

What about you?

[B]

Mine. And I want to be very clear that I am not the girl that ever. I have never fantasized or dreamt or imagined my wedding. That's never. That's never been something I did. I mean, not. Not even as a little girl.

[A]

Yeah, same.

[B]

But. And. But I will say that there was a tradition that happened within my family that I've had to let go of the dream because ddot's not here anymore. But, like, at every wedding or anniversary party or major sort of event did I would sing this song. I don't even know if it's, like, a real song or if it's the song that he made up, but I. I laughed because I used to, like, see it in the house and make him laugh because it was a very. I don't even know. I don't even know where the song came from. But, you know, it was a very deep song. So I really can't really, like, really low. But I would try. Indeed. I will always just.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

The love of God.

[A]

He was.

[B]

Just sing it. It's such a. He would be crying and falling all out, and it was just so, like, Tom Jones. Like, he would just. And so sometimes I would just be in the house. I would just walk past his room and start singing, and he would fall out. But I would just be like, you know, I was gonna sing that song for me one day for one reason or another. And I let that go. The love. Like, all of my friends from, like, my childhood friends that are listening, people that grew up in Calvary. Y' all know what song I'm talking about.

[A]

Write it and let us know.

[B]

I'm like, sing, Dina.

[A]

Oh, my God. I want to hear da sing. Do you have any videos?

[B]

I do have videos, but I also. I can't run downstairs and get it. But DDA actually recorded several albums. I found one.

[A]

What albums?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

It was at least three, and I found one. It's a record collector on. Online. And I just was searching shortly after he passed because I was downstairs in the living room. I can't Run to get it now, but I'm going to take a picture of it and show you. But he has several albums. This one that I bought is called, you know, a Song for Mother. Like he did a charity. It was a recording and he did it to raise money.

[A]

Wow.

[B]

Or, you know, something happening in. In the community. And he. He paid for. To record the album and he. He donated all the proceeds. But it was the, the name. Oh my gosh. That was the name of the album, A Song for Mother. And yeah, I'm gonna. I'm going to. I'm just. I'm trying to figure out how. Because I have. Remember we talked about this, I have a bunch of videos and ways that I've been recording him and I'm trying to figure out all that together. But I bought the album because I want to sort of integrate that into it. But yeah, I. That's something that I feel like I've had to let. Let go of. And I think, you know, well, for obvious reasons, I think. I don't know, just this life and. And grief. Like you never really. Like when I would. Not really like dreams, but when I would imagine certain things, though. Yeah. I just would imagine like Diva is going to sing, the Love of God is going to be great. But that's my guy. But yeah, that I've let go of, that was the first thing that comes to mind. But I also. I feel like I haven't let go of it entirely. But when I was in high school and when I was in college too, a little bit because, you know, one of my minors was communications and I had a little radio show campus.

[A]

Right.

[B]

What. And I've always wanted to be on the radio.

[A]

Like, I love that.

[B]

I've always wanted to sort of like

[A]

be on me and XD's dream. That was. That's our goal to be.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Talk radio. I love that. I did not know that.

[B]

I would love to be like talk. Talk radio. Like a show, like, you know, like a radio. Like a dj, like, you know, not like a. Yeah, you know. Well, we would have some music, we would play some songs. But I mean also just sort of like call in like, you know, just talking. Yeah, I would love that. That would be. That would be a dream. And I don't want to say that I've let go of it. You never know. But it would be something I would love to do.

[A]

Well, listen, look, you do.

[B]

Look at.

[A]

You do it. A form of it.

[B]

I know, right, Exactly.

[A]

Possible it's on the horizon. Okay, I love that. Should we do one more from two.

[B]

Okay, one more from two. What has been your earliest recollection of happiness? Earliest?

[A]

Oh, wow.

[B]

Like, is it like when you are young? Like when do you remember being happy? Like do you, when do you recall?

[A]

Yeah, I'm like, is that like the one of the first times you remember being first?

[B]

That's, that's a beautiful question. The first time that is ever being

[A]

happy that I can. Like one of the earliest memories where I can. I was, I could remember being happy.

[B]

Huh.

[A]

Huh. I would say it was my grandparents anniversary party that we did. Like I want. It was like their 45th. Like them niggas was married for a long time.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this is their 40th or 45th.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And this was, this was my pirate era. That's what I call kids when they don't have their two front teeth. So this was my pirate era. And me and my cousins performed En Vogue.

[B]

Nice. I love it.

[A]

And then that was me and my cousin Brooke, Toya and Tiffany.

[B]

Come on, full on.

[A]

And then I told you I have 26 first cousins on the side.

[B]

Come on.

[A]

And it wasn't all 26 of us, but it was a good chunk of us. And we performed crisscross jump for my grandparents all together. And it was so much fun. And I think that is one of my earlier memories of like, wow. Like this is fun. Like this is. I'm with my family, it's a good time, we're having a good time, Everybody's in a good space.

[B]

I remember, I don't know, like, I don't want to be like hokey or like cliche, but I remember Christmas morning in the fifth grade, I got a computer, a big box. Like, you know, we talk in 1992, 93 or something like that. My mother worked for IBM and so she, she got me this computer. And I remember coming downstairs on Christmas morning and usually the family would like set up everybody's gift. Like all the grandkids gifts would be set up in the living room and everybody would have their own little section. Line us all up in the hallway. And there would be a sheet over like the doorway to the living room. And then they would, then they would drop the sheet and we would all run in like, ah. And then you look, you're looking for your section. And so my section was in the corner of the living room. There was a armchair. It was like a gold, a gold honey. A gold velvet chair had a plastic cover.

[A]

Oh, yes.

[B]

And so I saw like some clothes and stuff. Like, you know, a Few boxes and stuff set up. And I was fucking. I was like. But that's all I saw, not realizing that in the room. So the dining room and the living room were adjacent. On the other side of that wall was a little card T with a computer on it. And I didn't even see that. So I'm looking at these sweaters, trying to like, thanks, Mom. Like. But, like, really in my mind, I'm just like, this is it. This is crazy.

[A]

I only got a couple sweaters.

[B]

That's nuts. But I'm like, thank you. She was like, girl. And then she, like, pointed at the computer, and I was like, that's mine. Like, I love it. And my little computer, it came with two. She bought me two games. One was Home alone. Yes. And the other one was Mavis Beacon. Teacher's typing, darling.

[A]

Mavis Beacon.

[B]

And when I tell you, I. You couldn't tell me nothing. Okay. I was just so, like, you know, I was talking to one of my colleagues at work. We got a new team member. And so when I was in Seattle last week, we all went to dinner, was just sort of getting to know one another. She was saying she had two small kids. And she said, what's been most fascinating is that kids come fully baked. She said, I always kind of thought that personalities develop over time, but my kids are exactly who they are, like, right now. And when I think about that, I'm like, that makes so much sense. Because, sis, when I tell you, when I was a little girl, I used to, like, get dressed in my room. Like, I was going to work and go set up at that computer. I would get dressed in my room and go and sit at my desk.

[A]

Look, I told you I had clothes

[B]

in the 450 grade. So I would just be doing all. Maybe you can teach his typing lessons on that computer. And just. I mean. And I would just. You couldn't tell me that I wasn't working. What a corporate girl. A corporate girly. And I remember, like, when I realized that computer was mine, it was just like, oh. Oh, my God.

[A]

I never imagined such a day.

[B]

Like, this is wonderful.

[A]

I'm trying to think of, like, a gift that made us okay. You remember we were children and movies came out in the movie theater, and guys. The movie theater. Stayed in the movie theater for a while, and then they would, like, go down in tier, where they would go to the dollar Movie.

[B]

Dollar Movie.

[A]

You know, and then they would eventually leave. And then you had to wait, like, a year before they would come on block to vhs. Exactly. For you to watch it, right? So that builds all the anticipation. Like, I saw this in the movies and now finally it's happening. So picture it. 1990. Whatever. Lion King.

[B]

Oh my.

[A]

Go to the theater and see it. Oh, Lion King don't come out on video for like a year. And Lion King was a big fucking deal.

[B]

First of all, just jump in and say that one year I got the Lion King for VHS as one of my gifts. Because that's how serious I was about it. The Lion King and Beauty and the Beast on VHS was like Beau and

[A]

the Beast on VHS with a white trim. Hello.

[B]

The Lion King had white and let me tell you, had that plastic cover. They like snap.

[A]

They had that, that hard, that hard plastic. Like, this is a good movie.

[B]

You might pay some money for this.

[A]

And I don't know if you remember the Nickelodeon based. Yes, vhs. That will come out green. VHS were orange. Yes, they were orange. And it would be like, look at this. I know. So Lion King is finally coming to vhs and it like they're playing all the commercials. Yeah, like, this is like, we're getting them. We're getting. We're finally getting it. So we asked my dad, please, please, please get Lion King for us. Please get Lion King. We want Lion King. He's like, yeah, I'm gonna try. Imma try, Imma try. So he comes home from work and we're like, did you get Lion King? And he's like, I tried. They were all sold out. Like, I'm so sorry. I really did try. I went right after work and we were like, it's okay. And he walks out the room and this is how sick my family is. This has the Lion King. He took his butt cheeks, he half mooned us and it was sticking out his draws.

[B]

How traumatizing.

[A]

No, we was hype. Like butt juice. It didn't even matter. We was like, yeah, we don't pulled it right out his butt.

[B]

What on earth? What?

[A]

I told you my family was crazy.

[B]

Listen, let me tell you something. I told you before, one of the best things about growing up in the house with your grandparents, like Grandma and D. I played with us. Like, you know what I'm saying? Like, they were about spending and there was. We had our little routines. So usually Sunday there would be a morning service, afternoon service, and after afternoon service, so we think at like 6, 7 o', clock, you know, everyone would come home, we would get undressed, put our clothes away, and then it would be time for like, you know, Grandma would make a Sunday evening treat. You know, popcorn. Like, sometimes she would, you know, freshly popped popcorn. Sometimes she would make a pineapple upside down cake or something. Sometimes she might go like, you know, she didn't feel like. If she didn't feel like making something, she might stop at the Chinese store and get some chicken wings, something for us to just.

[A]

Yes. To nosh on.

[B]

To nosh on. And they would play. I remember for a little while, DDA would play board games with us. And so I remember we taught him how to play Sorry. And we taught him how to play Trouble. And let me tell you something. That little thing tickled Dino. Every time he would do the thing, he would just fall out laughing, and it would be like we all genuinely. I mean, just filled with joy. Yep.

[A]

How many times do I get? 5.

[B]

Exactly. It was the best thing. And it was just. Those are like the core childhood memories. Like when you're looking around like, I'm having fun. I'm having fun. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Love that. Love that, love that, love that. I love that. That.

[A]

I love that, too. I love that. We used to play games. My dad would cheat.

[B]

Oh, of course.

[A]

Because he would cheat during Monopoly. He'd be like, that's your fault for not watching. Terrible.

[B]

Okay, are we done? Wait, we've done two.

[A]

Level two.

[B]

So let's do a level three. In one word. How would you describe our conversation today? Yeah.

[A]

Oh, refreshing.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah. I would say they needed. I needed this.

[A]

Yeah. Necessary. Very necessary.

[B]

That was quick one. Let's do another one. What do you think my superpower is?

[A]

Oh, your superpower. There's so many. Let me see. What would be the superpower? I think your vulnerability. I think your vulnerability is your superpower because it allows people to feel safe, to express their own vulnerability as well, and also to maybe take some pressure off of themselves, because, you know, it just shows that even if somebody looks like they got it all together, it doesn't mean that everything in life is falling that way because we can't control all of those aspects. And so I think you being vocal and being so openly vulnerable about the things that you process and you struggle with and that you're working through and. And all of those things is. Is actually such a superpower.

[B]

Thank you, sister. That means a lot, I would say, for you. I think that one thing I've always think just really appreciated and admire about you is that you are such a fierce protector. I think when you care about someone or something, you are willing to do everything to keep that thing safe, keep that person safe. And if anyone Tells you that they're not safe. You're not just going to be like, oh, you're going to be like, so what we doing about it? Like, you're like, you want me to shoot you? The number of times that Jay has said, do you need me to tell your. Would you like me?

[A]

Like you like, yeah, I'll be thriving.

[B]

It's like, no, but I think it is. I think it is such that. That's not common. Like, people don't. People don't invest themselves in that way. You do it in a way that, you know, you don't take any thought for what it would cost you, what it would like, what it would. How. How it might inconvenience you. Like, if somebody needs you, you show up. I've never seen you waffle. I've never seen you flake. And so I feel like. I think that's something that is, like, should not be taken for granted because everybody's not like that. I think that you. You really lock in and you really, like, when you care about something, you care about it all the way, and it doesn't take you long to get there. Like, if your spirit tells you that this is something that's important or valuable, like, you go all in, and that is very affirming. That makes other people. That makes people that you do it for feel special and that. I think that's your superpower, you know, how to make people feel cared for and cherished. Thank you.

[A]

That's so lovely. My God, that's so. I. Oh, man. I really. Because I really feel that way. Yeah. I'm like, you know, my community is so important to me, and I. Yeah, I'll ride for you. N. I really would.

[B]

Jaden on site, friend, you don't have to give Jade a lot of context. You could just say, this girl, I'm a cigarette.

[A]

I'll give you some sage advice. And I'm ready to ride.

[B]

This is what I need. And Jade is going to start mobilizing. Okay. She's going to start mobilizing.

[A]

What we doing to get the thing

[B]

in place to get it's emotion. It's a lot of motion.

[A]

And I'm gonna check in on your heart first before we run up on a. I'm gonna be like, no, but first. How are you feeling?

[B]

Are you okay? What do you need? Do you need me to sit here? Do you need me to say something? What do you need?

[A]

Yeah, what do you ready to fight now or you need to practice first? It's no issue.

[B]

Okay. I'm gonna.

[A]

Thank you, sister.

[B]

I. This is the last one we'll do, so I think it's kind of okay. Why do you think we met?

[A]

Was ordained by God.

[B]

He put us together.

[A]

Yes. You know. Yes. Actually, I think we. I think we're such a. Such a yin and yang. You know what I mean? That's what this said on. What was that? What was I watching? Survivor XD Gotta be watching Survivors seasons ago. And he was one of them Kung fu. So you know, they just like a little bit weird. Yeah. He was like the yin and yang of it all. And so that's how I say that. But yeah, I think we're like very yin and yang, which I think is a beautiful balance which allows us to have such necessary conversations that like, are refreshing for all of the black women out there that are like us, that are not like us, that have had similar experiences, have. Maybe not, but it's offering perspective of somebody else's. Like, I think we were put together not just to be co workers but to really be true sisters and to exhibit what that. What that looks through. Through trenches, through loss, through gains, through peaks and valleys.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I think many examples of these through life are so important to all of the black girls that are coming up behind us to give examples for the way that sisterhood can nourish you, can fulfill you, can complete you where maybe you don't need. No. Because you got the community that you need. You know what I'm saying?

[B]

If you want one, you want one,

[A]

you got a nigga is non gender specific too. But I think we were brought together to. To do that, to have that like, and to also display that and to talk about that and to provide a community where all of those very complicated and challenging and rewarding parts of black woman life can be spoken about freely.

[B]

Yeah, I think they're. I think I would add. The only thing I would add is I think, you know, as you. As you said, There are so many different levels. I think, I think we were put together. I'll say it like this. I think we were put together because I think growing up, I feel like I had a very specific understanding or limited understanding of what things meant. Right. I think, you know, I felt like family was this, friendship was this, love was this. But you know, just throughout life, the word that I would use to sort of describe the experience had been expansive. I think.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

There have been so many opportunities for me to expand my perspective. And I think sometimes God brings you into proximity and into relationship. People who are not like you or who, who are. Who are not. Who are. I want to say, not like you, because I think even though there are things that are very different, I think that there are things that are great similarities as well. Yeah, for sure. So I think, think there, there are people that, that God brings you in connection, in relationship with people who have had different experiences than you to expand your understanding of all the ways that his love exists, all the ways that, you know, there's just depth and complexity and, and nuance and all of those to life and, and, you know, that's good. It makes it better. It makes it so much more a richer experience. And as you were saying, I think that as girls, we're socialized to think of love like in purely romantic ways and that romance is not way more idealistic than realistic. And I feel like I've been working and in my reflection and prayer time, I've been asking God to, to take me out of spaces and relationships and situations that feel transactional. Me with transformational experiences and relationships. Because so much what we are taught love is or love is not is so transactional, it's so give or get. But I feel like I've had such a rich experience, what love really means through our friendship, through our sister circle. And these are people. Because I feel like in friendships, some your early childhood friendships, you develop because of proximity. You go to school with people, you grew up in the same area, you had shared experiences. We all come from different walks of life. And so I feel like our connection is a choice. We choose to be connected in the ways that we're connected. And that has healed so many parts of my heart and my understanding. And it's taught me so, so much. Yeah, it's taught me so much. And so I think that's why we met. I think that's why God had it for us to meet that time in Bobby's apartment over, over the PJs or whatever.

[A]

Yeah. Across from Dougie.

[B]

Waffles, chicken and waffles. I. That's why he had it. He had it work out that way. Because there have been things that we were not only supposed to do together, but things that we were supposed to teach each other.

[A]

Teach each other.

[B]

Things that we were supposed to learn through our relationship. Not just about each other, but about ourselves.

[A]

Yeah, very much so. You know, I, I told you, I think I've, I, I have said this to you many times, like even through. Not just what you do, but, but the way that you have made education so accessible and academia so accessible through Conversation that is relatable to things that are ne. You know, to us. It made me reevaluate my own formal education, and I was like, you know what? I thought maybe this wasn't necessary or that was, but I think this is. And so. And I'm so grateful that I did it. Fuck you, Sallie Mae. But I'm so grateful that I did it. So, you know, I. I know that I can attribute that to. I can attribute that to our relationship and our work that we do together and this intentional relationship you talked about choosing. And we. I think we continue to do that also by the quality and the way that we show up within. Within relationship. And so I would absolutely agree.

[B]

Yeah, we choose to keep. Be honest even in this conversation. And I think we're getting better at it. The times when we say we need a break. The times when we say, I don't have it, we say, I made a mistake. The times when I say I need this, it's less performative. It's much more authentic. And I think that's the kind of space that I want to exist in always. I think that's fully realized humanity, fully realized purpose. When I can come to you and say, sis, just. I tried to think of some things that we should talk about on the show, but I really just need to talk to you. I really just want us to reconnect and let's play a game like, because that's. That's the type of time that I'm on after working all day and dodging the news feeds and, you know, working through family drama and dealing with all the things like, let's just detach and disconnect and get lost in a game for an hour.

[A]

Yeah. A good game too, that, that, that produced, like, really great conversation and also just like you said, healing parts for.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

You know, all that we are just facing on a day to day basis and watching on a day to day basis and just consuming. We need spaces like these. We need this. And I've had a lot of black woman love this week, which I have said time and time again is what just. Just feeds my spirit. It really does. And I'm gonna continue to have, like, I. I feel so rich and so blessed almost where I. I feel almost billionaire status, where it's not equitable for me to have all these incredible black women around me because it's like, because I do in so many pockets too. It's, it's. It's a. It's really just like one of my greatest blessings in life. So you know, imagine me and you I do I think about you day and night it's only right to think about the girl I like I wasn't

[B]

even

[A]

together I can't see me loving nobody but you for all my my

[B]

life

[A]

Good time closing song to this very fulfilling kitchen table. Well, let's go on to this black woman self care.

[B]

I am with it. Let's do it right now.

[A]

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[B]

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[A]

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[B]

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[A]

So in. In terms of us finding our little pockets of joy. I have multiple self cares this which I just. I know. So first I had. Had. I'm not, I'm not gonna call it an old school but I had, I had like a 2015, 2016 New York City day yesterday which was.

[B]

I'm introduced.

[A]

Oh sister. So I got up. I told you I went to my professional development.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And then. Obnoxious. This is what I'm gonna be. I promise I won't be actually. And then after that and because it's also I'll be working with one of my dear sister friend Siobhan and Santana came in town and then Robin popped up and so Santana came over and she used to also work where I am now doing this class and where Siobhan works. And so we. It was like a little reunion with all the other people who work there because I've also done cooking classes there previously. And then. And then we went to happy hour. Real happy hour with happy hour prices.

[B]

Get out of here.

[A]

Yes. Happy hour 20 split.

[B]

It's honey.

[A]

2015, 2016.

[B]

A thing of the past. Hello.

[A]

Then stayed a happy hour. Had some Drinks went. And that was in the city. Went back to Brooklyn, stopped at the crib, put stuff down, did a quick freshen up, went to a bar.

[B]

Go ahead and be outside, sister. What are you, like 27?

[A]

Who do I think I am?

[B]

I know.

[A]

So shout out to the homies. I send in Spencer. They have a spot in Brooklyn called Deep Dive. It's. It's beautiful. It's simple. They have a beautiful, intentional, simple menu.

[B]

Small bites.

[A]

I might be doing some things in the future. Hint, hint, wink, wink.

[B]

All right.

[A]

Please go support the homies. Deep Dive BK on Instagram.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So we went to their bar and met up and we were like, look at us. Out on a Tuesday having drinks. Okay. And. And stayed there till almost midnight, sister. And I said, I. This, this is. This is a day when we didn't have as many response. And we would go to work and then we would go drink. Then we would go drink here. We would stop by like, what a time.

[B]

What a time.

[A]

So that filled my spirit. Work after work, and then we did multiple things afterwards.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And got up and went to work again the next day and din and dinner. Okay. And then maybe a drink after dinner. Then went home, slept for a little bit, got dressed, went to work. And did end it. Did it and did it and did it again. So that, that was also. I think I was fueled by the love of black women once again because we had wonderful conversations about what people are tolerating, what they not tolerating, how much we love on each other so much intentionally that somebody else has to be intentional because you're loved on. Right. By your sisters. And so that was a really standard.

[B]

Doesn't it? It raises the standard, hello, hello. It very much gives. And you know what? I had a raggedy nigga to say that to me one time on some jealous. It was like, oh, you have big feelings about this. He said something like, you not in relationship with me, you're in a relationship with Toya. I say, you goddamn right I am.

[A]

Oh, and you having a problem. You for letting me know.

[B]

Thank you for letting.

[A]

So that I can shut this down.

[B]

I mean, thank you for letting me know I am in a relationship with Toya because she loves me back.

[A]

Okay, I don't exactly.

[B]

Are you kidding?

[A]

Exactly. That's what we were like. We date like first of all, birthdays, showering with. With bouquets of flowers and spreads of. I mean, the love, intention, invention.

[B]

Not just gifts, thoughtful gifts.

[A]

Gifts that are like this experiences.

[B]

Person really cares about me. She thinks about me. She Thinks about what I like, what I don't like. She wants me to see me be happy and have.

[A]

They love me. They love me, and so they love all of me.

[B]

Raise the standard. It's like, I don't need you, Daquan. I don't need you to do anything.

[A]

Attempts. I don't need those because I know what it feels like to be loved. Loved properly.

[B]

Properly.

[A]

So you better. You better do nothing but enhance this experience of life. Otherwise you can get the. And I think that's where everybody is getting in life at this point now. They're like, I don't want your half ass attempt. Yeah, I do that for us. I do. I do.

[B]

Yeah. I think it's so true. Okay, we're not beating the spinster allegations.

[A]

No, not at all. And I'm so, like, I have a partner who is. Tristan is. Is a great husband in the sense where like yesterday I told him, I told both of them, I said, listen here, y', all, I'm leaving in the morning and I'm not coming back till night. I was like, I'm gonna be gone all day and y' all gotta be okay with that. And they were like, copy. And I told Tristan, I said, santana's in town. Robin is. Robin is here right now. I was like, we. We're getting together. And he was like, nope, I got it. He knows what time it is, is when that time comes. And so, you know, get. You get your. Get your tribe together now. My second self, remember I told you all over the past several months, even from last year, that I have realized I already knew I had sensitive skin, but I think the. The little bit of it. Inflammation that I get when. When makeup is applied is. Is the contact dermatitis due to the sensitivity of my skin. Skin.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

So I went and purchased a couple of very simple products to be able to just put a little bit of something on my face without inflaming it or irritating it. So there is a brand that is clean by the name of Ilia and.

[B]

Oh, good, I'm familiar.

[A]

Yes. I went and the lady was like, I'll help you with a couple of products. So I got a couple of their things.

[B]

Exciting.

[A]

And they're clean. I got this. I don't know how you say this. Sigh. Say, I got their little bit of, like, highlighter illuminator. You know what I'm saying? They're clean as well. You've seen this brand before? Yes, I have got a little bit of that. And I'm still gonna try my Danessa Myricks skin tint moisturizer. Tinted moisturizer. Because I think. I don't think that's what was irritating me. But now we'll know for sure. And a little Ilia like blush like multi purpose stick situation. And what's this other last thing I got? Oh, oh, no, I already said her. What's the. Where you go? Wait, where did you. Where did you go?

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Anyway, I got a little contour stick situation. I gotta find her, though.

[B]

Yeah. They're on the right side of history. I've heard good things about Ilia, particularly around their shade range. They also have a good. They have a decent shade range for the brown girlies, darling.

[A]

Oh, that makes me excited. I'm just excited to find some clean products that are not going to tear me up. And I'm going to report back on

[B]

how everything worked out. Please do. I also thought about you because my friend Steve shared with me that he, after listening to Getting grown, made his way to La dente. Yes. And he has let me know that the seasonal soft serve.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Is apple cider.

[A]

Let me get my ass to DC immediately.

[B]

And they're doing. They have an apple cider and vanilla swirl. Sunday comes. So it's like an apple pie. Because they're there that they do that. They have like an apple compote, caramel sauce and candied pecans.

[A]

Oh, honey. Oh, sister. Okay. All right, well, I will see you soon.

[B]

I said, we've got to make an arrangement.

[A]

Call them tomorrow and say, hey, how long you could. How long are you all doing the apple cider soft serve? Like I need to know. No, now I know to call ahead of time.

[B]

Crystal. Crystal said that she was coming to D.C. to see Adrian soon. And I told her. I said, well, girl, let me know if you want to go down to the large dentist T shirt.

[A]

Yeah, yeah. Because you know, we're always down for a good time. Those duck shooters. I'm ready. The. The. The lasagna, which I'm not even a lasagna girl. Like everything, just bring it. That fish, that whole fish. Bring it to the table. Bring everything to the table.

[B]

That bronze is next.

[A]

Yeah. I'm coming to see you soon. So we can go because I'm. Now I gotta taste.

[B]

Gotta make that happen. I said. He was like, it's like an apple pie ice cream. Wow, wow, wow. I think I also learned that they. They think they're having some other sort of spring seasonal special. So we have to. We have to just make a date.

[A]

Okay. Nope, I'm Coming. I'm coming. Ew. Wow.

[B]

It's not. It's not fancy. So I. I visited. I made my appointments. Remember I said that I was going to be very intentional about my mental health. I saw my psychiatric nurse practitioner and had a wonderful session. And I'm also sis. I'm really been trying to reconnect with, you know, like I said, like, getting back into the space of writing. And I was so touched. Another reason why I was so touched by your. What you said about my superpower being reflection is that I really do feel like that is a core function of my work. And I started a sub stack, and I've. I've called it. It's called the spiral notebook. Do you remember when we were in high school? We were in high school, I used to have a spiral notebook that I would share with my friends, and we would write each other letters.

[A]

I'm gonna stop you right there. I'm gonna stop you right there real fast before you go on with your concept. We had notebooks, okay. Gel pins in a variety of colors. And let me tell you something. We ended up elevating to paint markers. Okay. It was art. It was letters, it was tea. It was all. We would pass it in between classes, and then somebody else would have the notebook and then pass it to you, baby. Okay, continue.

[B]

So I called it the spiral notebook Notebook because I wanted to be, like an ongoing reflection space, not just for me, but for everyone. And so the notebook is open, and it's called. It's this. It's called the spiral notebook. It's on substack. I'll put the links and things where people can access it. I didn't even think. This was not something that I've been planning for a long time. I literally just woke up in the morning and said that I wanted to write. And I wrote something and was like, I don't think, like, you know, I write all the time, but it was like, I want to share this. So, like, it wasn't something. Usually when I say I want to do something, like, I plan it out and have all these strategy meetings, but there was a flow about this that felt. I don't know, but it.

[A]

It.

[B]

It's. It's a flow about it. It felt very natural, very much like. Like almost divine. Like, almost like this is what I'm supposed to be doing. And so I started it on Tuesday. And I've just been writing when I feel like writing, posting when I feel like posting. Reconnect space of creating. I processed a little bit about My visit with my nurse practitioner because she asked me about little Kia, and I was like, girl, what you talking about? She was asking me about, like, you know, to describe and reconnect and to ask little Kia, like, you know, like, what. How did. How did that make you feel as a little girl? And she was showing me how. As I was answering her, she was like, no, you're answering like, adult Kia. I want you to answer like. Like little Kia. And so it was such a powerful exercise that I left, like, still thinking about it and still processing it. And so, like, I wrote about it and shared it. And so the notebook is open. I also created an email and people are commenting. It's going to be open. So if you want to post on the spiral notebook, like, you can send your submission and I'll post yours. It's going to be a notebook for all of us.

[A]

Us.

[B]

Because I really do think that there is some very powerful work in sitting and processing your thoughts.

[A]

Yes.

[B]

And, and I've just been enjoying the, the, the, the, the process. I don't know where. I'm trying not to overthink it. I'm trying to just let it. Like, I feel like I'm in a flow state for. For the first time in a long time. And I think this. Right. I think, you know, thinking about video content, editing, posting, all of that can get. I feel like this is where I belong in the.

[A]

You've been saying you wanted to reimagine team typing fast in a way that makes sense for you. You know, you're at a space where you. You are stretching your. You are stretched thin by so many necessary things that you can't avoid being stretched thin by. And so you need a space that feels organic and that is. Is more filling than it is not. And if this is feeling like flow state, then you just continue to flow with that. Don't even start to put all of those other societal expectations and things on it. It will develop as it is going to the same way that it came to you. I love that. I love that so much. Oh, my God. I love that.

[B]

That it was like. I didn't even think. I didn't even tell anybody. I just.

[A]

You said this felt divine, and I want you to stick with that energy because that's it right there. Yeah. What a good. So. Oh, what a good.

[B]

It wasn't something that I just. It just came out in a way that's never really happened before. So I'm just gonna try to stick with it and keep going.

[A]

And, and what a Necessary space too. Right. Because we were talking in my workshop about. Yeah, just about like the lack of literacy. Right. And like understanding, you know, even when you ask kids to explain certain things. And my friend was bringing up. She was like, you know, when Jade did the Mac and cheese class and broke down all the steps and broke down why things are the way they are, then they actually made it. The last step was for them. Them to write out the recipe and how to make it. And she was in the amount of papers that came back wrong as hell. And also proved that we have really got to work on. On literacy, which is reading, writing, comprehension. And I see what the other one is.

[B]

We have to be intentional about it too. And I think, like you said, it's a practice. I think there's just so many of us because we've been so reliant on the digital things that we've gotten out practice of, you know, just working that muscle. And I am an academic, but I'm also like, I don't want the writing and the work to sort of be limited to academic spaces. I've always wanted to communicate across that boundary and really let everybody know that there are academic practices going on every way pedagogy exists outside of classrooms, and it has been for centuries. Centuries. Like, let's be real. So all of those things. And I'm just grateful and I'm excited to sort of see where it goes and how it works out. But, yeah, it's where we are.

[A]

I love this. Yes. What an exciting self care there. I'm very excited for the notebook. What's it called?

[B]

The spiral notebook.

[A]

Spiral notebook. The spiral notebook. No, not the. Not the notebook. We're not.

[B]

Not that. Not those white people.

[A]

Not a rom cuff. That's crazy. I'm really excited for the spiral notebook. I love the concept. I think this is so you. I cannot wait to see how it develops and also add to it. You know what I'm saying? My paint markers and my gel pen. I live you okay. How exciting. I know. How exciting. I love that so much. And that's what damn. We got. I got to put. No. I'm like, you and your friends need a notebook, but these they so aware of their emotions. That shit will be a burn book. And they be. I don't know what the it'll be. They're like, I just feel like.

[B]

It is very millennial.

[A]

It's very millennial. It's very millennial. I love it. I love it. Yes. All right, let's close this out with our petty Peeves.

[B]

Let's do it.

[A]

Adobe Acrobat, your new foundation. Use PDFs basis to generate a presentation. Grab your docs, your permits, your moves. AI levels up, your pitch gets it in a groove.

[B]

Choose a template with your timeless cool.

[A]

Come on now, let's flex those tools. Draft, design, deliver, make it sing. AI builds the deck so you can build that thing. Do that, do that, do that with Acrobat.

[B]

Learn [e-mail] do that with Acrobat. Country Petty, petty, petty. All the same to me playing Jane

[A]

Spaghetti so I'm on a smear campaign. I said it on Jaden XC and I'm saying it here. So, you know, as much as we also love to uplift our black women in business in general, let's be very clear and in business, and we love to share and, and you know, just expand the community so that our ecosystem is really flowing. We also have to weed out the predators and the poison that likes to infiltrate at times. All right, so what's this lady's name? Tangible Occasions.

[B]

Oh my Lord.

[A]

You find her on Instagram at. At Tangible Occasion. She's a coward and turned her comments off. But she. Oh yeah, she did. But she's my motherfucking petty peeve this week because as a black woman, you know, all that we deal with as black women in this world and we are already facing enough. We are already facing enemies out there that do not wish us well. And the last thing we need is somebody within our community to be harmful to others within the community. And this bitch decided that she wanted to play around with somebody's hard earned money. This is for their birthday. She was the event planner and she decided she wanted to ghost for almost a month and then decided she was going to pop up after she was getting flamed as fuck on social media. And so I have no respect for that. That and may you have the day that you deserve, lady, because that's not how we supposed to be doing each other. We don't need that out here, especially right now. Go get yourself together. And it's also a choice. You chose to do that because what you could have done was picked up the phone or opened your computer and wrote out a comprehensive email explaining where you are right now. But you decided to just crickets on on people and then you come back with a nasty motherfucking attitude as if somebody has harmed you. You, I have no respect for you. I have no respect for you. I have no respect for your business. And you will suffer the ramifications of everything that you put out into this world, you better believe it. Stop around with people's money. So that's. That's my petty peeves this week. Also, restaurants put some hooks under the tables. All right.

[B]

Our things on the floor. But, yeah, I mean, I don't know. What's the 10. What is it? 10 what?

[A]

Tangible occasions.

[B]

Okay. And so I just feel like to just. If I can build on Jade's point just a little bit further. It costs nothing to communicate. It costs nothing to communicate. And I just feel like there's no reason for you to willfully ignore correspondence and be misleading. There's no way you can accidentally do that. And so to this, it feels like you are intentionally doing it. And there's no cause for that.

[A]

No.

[B]

And I mean, yeah, like, if you communicate, if you. If you lost track of it, if you forgot, just say that. But don't try to gaslight people into thinking that there's nothing wrong when you have done something terribly wrong. As in like taking money and contracted services that you've not delivered and then

[A]

came back with zero accountability.

[B]

That's what I'm saying.

[A]

Zero accountability.

[B]

Like, no accountability, zero awareness, zero remorse,

[A]

and a lot of motherfucking audacity and gall.

[B]

I was about to say an attitude, entitlement, audacity and gallery. And it's like, girl, it don't even have to. It don't even have to be all of that. It don't even have to be all that.

[A]

If this reaches itself to you, instead of you getting internally inflamed, why don't you turn that around in the mirror and figure out why the fuck you operate the way that you do? And make sure you save that heat for your motherfucking self and do better. Do better and be motherfucking better. Because like Kia said, it doesn't cost you anything to do. So.

[B]

So it doesn't.

[A]

But it costs you a whole lot of money to people over and then they have to take your raggedy ass to court or they gotta flame you again on social media because you chose. You chose to be deceitful. And then you go stand in some belligerence. I don't know your wife. I don't know why your wife is contacting me. Bitch, don't play fucking games. Name. Stop it. Stop. Stop with the. I hate when people get defensive when they are all the way wrong. Like, nothing makes me. You talk about how I love to ride for my people. I also will ride on a who is wrong as three left shoes and will stand on that awesome I will. And they get all defensive with everybody else elsewhere. All you have to say is, you know what? My bad. I handled that poorly.

[B]

Exactly. I mean, it's just the adult thing to do. It is the most efficient thing to do. I just don't understand. Like, to me, it feels like you. Your intention is to ruin somebody's birthday. Hmm. And ain't nobody done nothing to you. So I would need to understand what would be the cause. What is the reason for you to. To conduct your business and yourself in this manner? That. That would be my question. I don't. I don't have understanding around why you would take this course of action and then be unwilling to have a reasonable adult conversation about it. Because this is not hearsay. Contracts have been signed. So let's get to the business.

[A]

Money has been exchanged.

[B]

Exactly.

[A]

Communication was exchanged. Initially, an expectation was set.

[B]

That's it. And so, like, if you're going to. If you're going to be about your business and want to be respected as a business owner, you have to conduct yourself in a certain way. You cannot not conduct yourself in a certain way and then get. Get upset at the people that react. You are at the heart. Exactly.

[A]

Exactly.

[B]

And it don't like.

[A]

Yeah, you're the foundation.

[B]

It All. All signs point back to you. And so of course we're going to have a response. People are. This is an event that people are. Have booked tickets and, you know, hotel accommodations and TRA are traveling from out of state to. To attend. So this ain't no. We not out here to just be dilly dallying. Okay.

[A]

Also, we're living. We're living in an economy where when people are able to do things like get together with their loved ones in this way, it is a privilege and it is an honor because so many people in this world do not have. Have that right now to be able. The ability to gather with their loved ones or to gather with their loved ones in the way that they want to, or they have lost hundreds of their loved ones because of other people. And so you're gonna sit up here and play with people like this? Zero respect for you. Zero respect. Zero respect. And zero respect for you for the way that you responded to it, too. Check yourself. You the problem.

[B]

It's quite sad. It's quite sad. It's quite unproductive. I hate to see it. But you know what? You haven't stopped the thing. No, you haven't. You haven't stopped the thing. So I don't know. I mean, I. I don't know what you were aiming to get out of it. But yeah, yeah, it just shows how little actual impact and influence you actually have because you have not stopped the thing. The event is still going to go on. It is still going to be successful despite your terrible and insufficient business practice practices.

[A]

Raggedy aspiration.

[B]

All right, I think that. I think that is a joint Betty peeve on tonight.

[A]

I agree. I agree. I think that's a perfect way I said it. I was like, I'm smear. I'm flaming this.

[B]

And you did say it in the comments. And here we are, making good on our promises.

[A]

Okay, okay. Look at that.

[B]

Let's see how that works.

[A]

I don't make threats. I just make confirmation. Patience. So thank you all once again for listening to this very balanced episode of Getting Grown. We're able to discuss, you know, the unity of us and also we're busy, not play with the unity of us. We are so grateful for all of you. You can check out the video version of this episode and all episodes on our Patreon. It is also the best way to support the gills. You can check out our YouTube page. If you do not have the funds to do that right now, check out our YouTube page and you can just subscribe and like what we have posted there as well. Join us across all social media platforms. Your support is much, much, much welcomed and much appreciated. And also make sure you like and rate us five stars on. On all of the podcast apps or wherever you're listening. We don't say that often, but it really does help help us out. Helps us out with advertisers and this is the way that we sustain ourselves. So we're very grateful for your continued support. And sis, take us out and tell them what to do.

[B]

Make sure that you are taking care of yourselves and one another. And remember, the best way that you can do that, first and foremost is by keeping your mind moisturized. Okay? And the only way to do that is to mind your business, okay? The business that is yours and yours alone, okay? You also want to make sure that you're taking care of your insides by drinking just as much water as your body can sustain every single day, okay? Hydration is critical. It is important. It is essential. And finally, you want to moisturize. That's right. And finally, you want to moisturize your skin because your black will crack if it's dry.

[A]

Tata, ladies and gentlemen.

[B]

And also if you're raggedy and terrible. But good night.

[A]

Yes, also that. Yeah, you Takara's tangible treats.

[B]

Bye Bye, y'.

[A]

All.