Gettin' Grown – "Sometimes, it’s a Ponderosa" (Feat. Shar Jossell)

Podcast: Gettin’ Grown, Loud Speakers Network
Episode Date: March 17, 2026
Hosts: Jade and Kia
Guest: Shar Jossell

Episode Overview

This episode continues Gettin’ Grown’s Women’s History Month series, welcoming journalist and media personality Shar Jossell to the “kitchen table.” The conversation delves into evolving and expansive definitions of womanhood, Black women’s experiences, intersectionality, and the nuances of trans experience in Black communities. Personal anecdotes, cultural critique, and sharp humor abound, grounding a deep and affirming dialogue around authenticity, representation, and self-care.

Key Discussion Points & Insights

The World’s Getting Worse – Community & Coping (01:07–05:00)

• Jade and Kia kick off with their frank observations about global and national turmoil, emphasizing how predatory systems—specifically the military-industrial complex—target Black and brown communities by promising opportunities but delivering peril.
  • “That’s why… when I worked at Foot Action, the army would be outside… never at Express Men…because you all are predators in very specific communities.” – Jade (03:46)
• Laughter and Black culture as survival: They discuss the need to “just leave us alone”—visualizing making a map of neighborhoods to be left unbothered (“we’re just on the porch barbecuing and having tuna mac”—Kia).

Pop Culture, Self-soothing, and Black Joy (06:31–11:33)

• Sharing what’s getting them through hard times: TV shows (Elsbeth, Matlock), loving Morgan Freeman’s dulcet dinosaur narration, and memories of Black musicals.
  • “I watched Jade watch the trailer, and so… she’s calling [dinosaurs] by name, like her cous.” – Kia (08:02)
  • Humorous sidetracks into Black theater, musicals, and the subversive comics of church plays and singers.
• Black joy is framed as a form of resistance and self-care.

Reflection on Responsible Tech & AI (11:47–16:29)

• Kia shares moderating an SXSW panel on responsible leadership in AI, stressing tools should center student success and equity, not displace humans.
• Jade and Kia unpack violence and exploitation stemming from tech/data center placement in marginalized communities.
  • “You disrupt… Black and brown communities by putting data centers and poisoning these people… running up electricity bills… all the harm that comes along with… misuse.” – Jade (13:21)
  • “If we… turn our attention away [from necessary system reforms] and solely on AI, we will only use the technology to further power systems that are problematic and marginalizing.” – Kia (15:20)

Kitchen Table: Expansive Womanhood with Shar Jossell (22:01–92:22)

Defining Womanhood – Personal & Evolving (24:49–29:51)

• Shar on womanhood: Shared experiences, culture, expansiveness—not just “flat,” narrow social definitions.
  • “In my lived experiences… life isn’t as black and white. There’s so much nuance in between… the boxes… that’s what I mean by expansiveness.” – Shar (26:06)
• Media, family, and cultural icons profoundly shaped Shar’s early, more rigid ideas of womanhood (southern belle upbringing, Destiny’s Child as a model of femininity).
  • “I venture to say, specifically so many Black millennial trans women have been… impacted by Destiny’s Child…leaned into hyper femininity… camaraderie and sisterhood.” – Shar (30:33)

Navigating Tradition, Authenticity & Intersectionality (32:58–41:37)

• Growing up trans in a traditional, Black Southern context: authenticity as shield and source of confidence.
  • “At each station that I was at, I was 100% in and I knew who I was… that is what kind of pushed back, and then I was able to carve out space for myself.” – Shar (35:14)
• Proximity to “social capital” (popular friends, family support) afforded her protections that are not universal.
• Gratitude for “clarity around knowing who you are as a shield and protector… can’t nobody tell you who you not.” – Kia (37:29)

Shared Threads of Womanhood Across Difference (39:04–47:16)

• Kia asks what all women share. Shar identifies misogyny and the threat of violence as a somber throughline, alongside moments of connection, heartbreak, and joy.
  • “What unifies… womanhood is the misogyny… the propensity to be assaulted, to be disrespected… a through line that I think all women, regardless of background, share.” – Shar (40:51)
• Vulnerability, shared laughter, and moments of heartbreak are experiences that unite women of many walks.

Respectability, Performance & Inter-Community Politics (47:31–53:47)

• Shar discusses embracing certain traditional norms, not as revolution but as authenticity—sometimes receiving pushback for not being a “radical” within trans spaces.
• “My self identifier is not Queer… I don’t view how I show up in the world to be abnormal… I look at myself as normal. Who gets to dictate what’s normal?” – Shar (49:40)
• On being a Black trans journalist: intentionally leads with her skills, not only her identity, eschewing being pigeonholed as “the trans correspondent.”
  • “I was able to exist as Shar… not have to be there as the trans correspondent. I’m a correspondent who’s trans.” – Shar (52:33)

The Dangers of Reductionism & Media Representation (58:21–63:39)

• Media frequently reduces trans narratives to trauma or stereotypes, flattening lived experience.
  • “Can we see a trans person walk into the coffee shop…without them getting jumped…that is not a reality for everyone. That reinforces harmful tropes.” – Shar (58:21)
• Urges for more normalized, diverse, everyday representation in media.

Womanhood as Evolution and Nuance (64:07–83:39)

• Family influence, especially Southern Black respectability, shaped Shar’s early presentation (“If you gonna do it, you better do it right!”).
• Importance of unlearning restrictive norms—every woman’s journey is informed by unique experiences.
• Shar elaborates on the particular emotional toll and complexity of dating and love as a Black trans woman.
  • “I have not had, some of the experiences I thought I’d had because… mine have been rooted in being used and being so emotionally manipulated…” – Shar (79:29)
• Calls out the persistent threat of being blamed/victimized if harmed, and how silence benefits men: “Men benefit from us not talking to each other. That’s the big divide. All roads lead back to men.” – Shar (84:05)

Big Takeaway – Humanity & Respect (87:22–92:07)

• Shar’s wish: Listeners remember trans people are people—family, co-workers, neighbors—deserving of respect, not to be dehumanized or politicized.
  • “The conversation in this country has gone so off the rails…they have dehumanized trans people… Don’t look at us as a political boogeyman… We are not monolithic. Get to know people’s stories for what they are.” – Shar (88:50)
• Encourages picking up books by Black feminist authors for broader understanding (Audre Lorde, Brittney Cooper).

Memorable Quotes & Moments

• On Authenticity:
  “No matter what I threw at you, you were gonna be who you were going to be.” – Shar’s father (Paraphrased, 35:14)
• On Shared Struggle:
  “We all fighting the same fight.” – Kia (41:03)
• On Intersectionality & Media:
  “If we exist in theory as the boogeyman, then… it’s all systems go.” – Shar (91:05)
• On Representation:
  “List. When you go grocery shopping, I’m just going grocery shopping… my transness is not my defining pie.” – Shar (58:21)
• On Community:
  “I love that there are things your mama said that my mama said to me… but there are also things you experience that I didn’t… it actually expands our relationship and strengthens our connection.” – Kia (67:34)
• On Womanhood:
  “With age comes firm boundaries… there are people playing in my DMs right now talking to themselves.” – Shar (81:42)

Timestamps for Key Segments

• Military & Community Exploitation: 02:17–05:02
• Cultural Coping, TV, Black Joy: 06:31–11:33
• AI, Tech & Marginalization: 11:47–16:29
• Introduction to Shar/Expansive Womanhood: 22:01–29:51
• Intersectionality & Upbringing: 32:58–41:37
• Common Experiences in Womanhood: 39:04–47:16
• Respectability & Authentic Selfhood: 47:31–53:47
• Representation & Reductionism: 58:21–63:39
• Family, Performing Womanhood: 64:07–67:25
• Nuance in Love & Trauma: 75:13–83:39
• Big Takeaways: 87:13–92:07

Episode’s Tone & Dynamics

Light, candid, and deeply warm—balancing heavy subject matter with humor, lived wisdom, honesty, and loving accountability. The hosts and guest model how friendship, open dialogue, and granting one another complexity can spark empathy and real understanding across differences in Black womanhood.

Further Resources

• Shar Jossell: @CharSaysSo on all platforms
• Book Suggestions:
  • Sister Outsider by Audre Lorde
  • Eloquent Rage by Brittney Cooper

Final Note

This episode stands as a resonant, multi-dimensional conversation on what it means to be a Black woman—and a Black trans woman—in America, how we learn from each other, and why expansive, honest dialogue is necessary for forging solidarity and self-love.