In this deeply vulnerable episode of Getting Older, Ivory Fennell sits down with actress, movement artist, model, and creative director Phoenix for an honest conversation about identity, trauma, healing, creativity, and what it really means to grow through life instead of simply surviving it.

From the very beginning, Phoenix opens up about being raised in Plainfield, New Jersey by two mothers in a home that constantly welcomed foster children, adopted siblings, and people searching for safety. She reflects on growing up as the only girl in a chaotic but loving household, navigating feelings of isolation, and struggling to understand where she fit in emotionally, culturally, and personally. What starts as a conversation about childhood quickly unfolds into a much deeper discussion about belonging, self-worth, and the emotional weight children often carry without realizing it.

Throughout the episode, Phoenix shares how dance, acting, and movement became more than creative outlets. They became survival tools. Whether it was performing in school productions, finding confidence through theater, or eventually stepping into modeling and artistic direction, creativity gave her a place where she could finally express emotions she did not yet have the language to explain.

The conversation also explores some of the most painful chapters of Phoenix’s journey. She speaks candidly about experiencing anxiety, depression, sexual assault, and the long-term emotional effects of trying to heal while still learning who she was. Instead of presenting healing as something linear or polished, both Phoenix and Ivory discuss the reality of what recovery actually looks like day to day. Some days are empowering. Other days are heavy. But through reflection, community, creativity, and self-awareness, Phoenix explains how she slowly learned to reconnect with herself in healthier ways.

One of the most powerful moments of the episode comes when Phoenix discusses her relationship with her body and how figure modeling unexpectedly became part of her healing process. After years of feeling disconnected from herself, she describes how being seen as art instead of an object transformed the way she viewed her body, her presence, and her value. It becomes a larger conversation about vulnerability, trust, and learning to reclaim ownership over yourself after trauma.

Ivory and Phoenix also dive into:

Growing up in a foster household and the emotional impact of losing people you love
The pressure of trying to fit into labels and identities that never fully felt right
Living with anxiety and depression at a young age
Using marijuana and self-medication as coping mechanisms during adolescence
The importance of boundaries, self-reflection, and emotional accountability
How dance, theater, movement, and creative expression can become forms of healing
The complicated relationship many people have with body image and self-confidence
Learning how to give grace to your parents while still honoring your own pain
Building a healthier version of yourself through nature, art, community, and intentional healing

What makes this episode especially powerful is the honesty both Ivory and Phoenix bring into the room. There is no pretending to have everything figured out. Instead, the conversation creates space for people who are still learning, still healing, and still trying to understand themselves while navigating adulthood.

If this episode resonated with you, make sure to follow Getting Older on all streaming platforms and subscribe for future conversations centered around mental health, healing, relationships, identity, and the realities of growing through life.