Giggling about con men, country boys, and cigars

Summary

Giggly Squad: "Giggling about con men, country boys, and cigars"

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Date: June 19, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Hannah and Paige go full "giggly" over the wild true crime doc "Maternal Instinct," con artists, the subtleties of country life, men’s inexplicable love for cigars and golf, and classic pop star nostalgia. The conversation is packed with inside jokes, cultural observations, friendship dynamics, and their signature brand of unfiltered personal anecdotes. Major topics include weaponized incompetence, cult docs, influencer culture, relationship red flags, and all the tiny personal dramas that make the Giggly Squad beloved.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

Health Myths, TikTok Jargon, and Uber Eats Rants

• Health Watch: Hannah debunks the superstition that ringing ears always means people are talking about you, with, "It could actually be a health concern. It doesn’t always mean people are talking bad about you." (01:57)
• Pop Culture Correction: Hannah apologizes for claiming "Mormon House Mormon Secret Wives" is better than "Vanderpump Rules." Paige is all about validating feelings (02:14–02:38).
• Women of STEM (…Sort Of): Their "woman of STEM" is a delivery driver who gets bigger Uber Eats tips by showing her feet in food photos (02:38).
• Uber Eats/Gender Rant: Paige rants about wanting to select women delivery drivers for Uber Eats, claiming she always gets bad service from men, especially for heavy items (03:00–04:54).
• Weaponized Incompetence: Moms sending dads for groceries never ends well:
  • “My mom has a written list... this happens every time.” – Hannah (05:11)
  • “Where’s the goddamn list?” – Paige (05:31)

Reality TV, Performing, and Pop Stars

• Summer House Identity Crisis: Hannah tells a Las Culturistas camera guy, “It’s complicated…I’m not on Summer House.” (07:57–08:46), prompting Paige to joke about not aligning herself with Bravo.
• Mandy Moore Appreciation: Paige launches into a millennial pop music nostalgia trip, lamenting Mandy’s lack of redheaded pop-star representation (09:27–11:04).
• Parades, the Knicks, and Cigar Culture:
  • Hannah finds the concept of millions at a parade “insane” and questions cigar celebrations for victories, e.g. "Imagine if the woman's tennis player who won the US Open was just smoking a cigar” (13:19).
• Golf Widow Syndrome: Both discuss their boyfriends’ obsessive golf habits and agree: "I don’t care that you go golfing, I just don’t want to hear about it when you get home.” (14:05–14:59).

DMs, Instagram, and Botox Anxiety

• Instagram Group Chat Fails: Hannah shares an embarrassing moment being added to an old DM thread, seeing pages of messages previously missed:
  • “I realized he had added me to an old conversation...so then I’m like, oh my God, I missed the previous conversation.” (17:08–17:51)
• Botox Guilt and Mom Warnings: Paige cancels a Botox appointment after her mom sends her frightening videos:
  • “Do you want to numb your brain?" – Paige’s mom (19:52)
• Brand Confusion: They clarify that Botox is a brand name, not the only injectable (20:15–20:53). Both are defensive over “having work done,” riffing on the haters who comment about their faces. (21:02–21:41)

True Crime Deep Dive: ‘Maternal Instinct’ Documentary

• General Warning: No spoilers until next week – but the story is bonkers (25:21–25:59).
• Women as "Con Men":
  • “When women do evil things... it's so much scarier, because they're so smart.” – Paige (26:20)
• The Power of Gossip: Paige insists, “It is so important to talk to your friends... that bitch is nuts.” (29:02)
• Red Flags and the Poor Country Boy:
  • A country man, Wade, falls for a con artist who claims she can’t access her trust fund; “If I had a nickel…” the girls laugh knowingly (31:15).
  • The scam escalates into fake pregnancies, repossessed gifts, and a $4 million farm purchase.
• Con Men’s Psychology:
  • “Everyone else has to live with reality... and they're like, I won't. I'm just not. And when you believe it yourself, that shit's real for you.” – Hannah (31:44)
• Country Life Stereotypes: Hannah and Paige riff on rural America:
  • “People from the country... all I’m looking for is someone to listen to a country song with me.” (30:53)
• Fake Pregnancy & Receipts:
  • Wade goes nine months never seeing his girlfriend’s belly, gets suspicious only when presented a 2016 ultrasound photo (43:56–44:16)
  • “How is there not one moment... he was like, can I see the baby’s stomach?” – Hannah (44:52)
• Resolution Cliffhanger: The episode concludes with the true, shocking nature of the con, but the girls refuse to spoil the ending until next episode (47:26).

Notable Quotes from the True Crime Segment:

• "If you have a girl who legitimately hates your stinking guts... that's the scariest thing in the world. I'd pick a man over a girl who hates me." – Paige (26:21)
• “You’re my everything, you’re my doctor, you’re my engineer, you’re my Jalen Brunson.” – Hannah, on haters as secret fans (27:51)
• “They go so crazy that it’s so unrealistic you can’t wrap your head around it.” – Hannah on con artists (32:42)

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Doc/Meme Talk, Friend Drama, and Cat vs. Dog Philosophy

• DM Anxiety & Group Chat Privacy: Hannah discovers group chat history hacks—Paige is shocked. General confusion about Instagram’s buggy features (18:31–19:22).
• Documentaries and Cults:
  • Hannah shares her obsession with con docs and “Model Cult” on HBO, declaring that cult leaders are just "club promoters" for beautiful people (49:20).
• Mormon Wives & Reality Editing:
  • Hannah notes how filming shows closer to air makes results "more real" and resists after-the-fact editing (51:31).
• Pet Philosophies:
  • Hannah and Paige riff on pet personalities: “German Shepherds have jobs...they pay taxes...cats are like, I don’t know your name, I didn’t sign up for this.” (55:09)
• Giggly Squad as Cat Mafia Movie:
  • An upcoming Italian cat mafia film feels like "Giggly Squad energy." “We are mafia cats. I actually got a little annoyed...so you listen to Giggly Squad. Just say it.” – Paige (56:52)

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Fashion and Final Thoughts

• Big Sunglasses Are Back: Hannah laments her small head vs. the big-glasses trend, to which Paige provides style encouragement:
  • “You can, Hannah, you can.” (57:33)
• Travel: Paige lost a pair of sunglasses but reordered them before their Italy trip (58:13–58:25).

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Notable Quotes & Moments (with Timestamps)

• “My mom has a written list... this happens every time.” – Hannah (05:11)
• “Where’s the goddamn list?” – Paige (05:31)
• “When women do evil things... it’s so much scarier, because they’re so smart.” – Paige (26:20)
• “You’re my everything, you’re my doctor, you’re my engineer, you’re my Jalen Brunson.” – Hannah (27:51)
• “I actually am really liking dogs right now that have, like, eyebrows. Well, they have a story to tell.” – Hannah (54:14)
• “German Shepherds have jobs... they pay taxes. Cats are like, I don’t know your name.” – Hannah (55:09)
• “Big sunglasses are back. I’m not happy because I have a small head.” – Hannah (57:20)

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Key Timestamps

• 02:38 – Woman of STEM shoutout, Uber Eats tip hack
• 03:00–04:54 – Uber Eats gender rant & grocery incompetence
• 07:27–09:13 – Las Culturistas Awards/Summer House Identity
• 09:27–11:16 – Mandy Moore nostalgia and redhead pop star soapbox
• 13:19 – Cigar culture among sports fans
• 14:05–14:59 – Golf widow syndrome
• 17:08–17:51 – Group DM debacle
• 19:52–21:41 – Botox paranoia, mom warnings, and looking "done"
• 25:21–47:26 – "Maternal Instinct" doc deep-dive: country cons, fake wealth, and con women
• 49:20 – HBO Model Cult/club promoter comparison
• 51:31 – TV editing and narrative manipulation
• 54:14–55:09 – Pet personalities: dog jobs vs. aloof cats
• 56:44–57:14 – Mafia cats and Giggly Squad vibe
• 57:20–57:52 – Sunglasses fashion talk and head-size anxiety

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Episode Tone & Atmosphere

• Language: Extremely conversational, gossipy, peppered with inside jokes, gentle self-mockery, and abrupt topic switches.
• Vibe: Warm, high-energy, a balance of pop culture obsession and deep personal shares; lots of mutual validation; aggressively pro-woman with an eye for calling out internalized misogyny and double standards.

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Summary Takeaways

• The girls blend cultural critique with hilarious personal anecdotes, examining everything from weaponized incompetence to why cigar-smoking and country boys have their own strange rituals.
• They relate recent pop culture documentaries to daily friendships, highlighting why gossip can be life-saving.
• The segment on "Maternal Instinct" acts as both wild entertainment and a meditation on con artistry’s bizarre manipulations.
• As ever, their humor is self-aware: they know they talk over each other, obsess over TV, and overanalyze every friendship DM.
• Typical for Giggly Squad, listeners are left giggling, feeling seen, and armed with modern cultural touchstones.

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For Next Week

Stay tuned for Hannah and Paige’s full "Maternal Instinct" doc debrief—spoilers promised!

Transcript

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[Kim]

okay, we're gonna Eli 5 Venmo.

[Hannah]

Nothing gets me going like an Eli 5.

[Kim]

All right, Hannah. Eli 5. Explain it to me like I'm 5 spending your Venmo balance.

[Hannah]

So if someone Venmo's you and you have the Venmo Debit MasterCard, you get instant access to your Venmo balance. In other words, you can spend that money immediately. And with the Venmo debit card, there's no monthly fee or minimum balance required. Oh, and you can also check out online or an app with Venmo. Same thing. Instant balance access. Now, Paige, Eli 5 venmo stash.

[Kim]

You join Venmo Stash rewards and earn up to 5% cash back.

[Hannah]

Anything more?

[Kim]

You asked me to Eli5 you. The more you use Venmo, the more you earn. And that's pretty much it.

[Hannah]

Okay, we love. And while we're at it, do you want to yell out 5 why you still haven't paid me back for the smoothies from this week? My Venmo balance would like to know.

[Kim]

Get the Venmo debit card or check out with Venmo. The Venmo MasterCard is issued by the Bank Corp. Bank NA. Venmo Stash Bundle. Terms and exclusions apply. Max $100 per month. See terms at Venmo. Me Stash terms. Venmo checkout not available at all. Merchants

[Sponsor Voice]

Sup, Gigglers?

[Kim]

Gary, fix the WI Fi.

[Hannah]

Manifest that shit.

[Kim]

We can't be managed. I mean, the day just got away from me.

[Hannah]

What's up, my G G G G

[Kim]

G, G, G G g. Giggles yeah,

[Hannah]

so someone messaged me and said I was listening to a story about how her ears were ringing and just wanted to let her know that that actually could be a health concern. It doesn't always mean people are talking bad about you.

[Kim]

Tell my mom

[Hannah]

I go not in. Not in Italian. I also want to apologize to the community for saying that Mormon House Mormon Secret Wives was better than Vanderpump Rules. I was just having a moment of excitement, and I apologize that wasn't true.

[Kim]

Well, everyone's Entitled to their own opinions. And if you feel like you had a better time watching that over the past couple of weeks, that's okay.

[Hannah]

Thank you for validating my feelings. Also, just want to start out with our women of STEM of the week. Up top, there's a woman who does Uber Eats deliveries, and she realizes that when she takes a picture of the food and she puts her feet in them, she gets bigger tips. So that is our woman of some of the week.

[Kim]

I can't believe you just said that, because I have what pissed me off this week.

[Hannah]

What is it?

[Kim]

You know how Uber launched? They're like, oh, you can request a woman to drive you. Amazing. I love that. What a great feature. Awesome. When I have really heavy bags, though, I'm not putting that on the girls. Anyway, I digress. Also, women can work for sex traffickers, so you're not fooling me, honey. You're actually not fooling me. Where Uber has messed up with this is when I'm doing an Uber Eats grocery order. Why can't I pick a woman? And I don't know if this is what Darwin had in mind when he discovered natural selection, but Uber eats delivery drivers who are men who. Who go into the grocery store. Are you alive? Are you alive? Because whenever I'm doing a grocery order from Uber Eats, it's because. Oop, I need, like, two things that I forgot that I'm not going to the store by myself, or I need something really heavy, like a 24 case of water bottles. So I'm going to Uber Eats that and add a couple other things when I have a woman. I actually messaged my woman the other day, and I said, I'm so thankful that you are a woman because I've been trying to get garlic now for 48 hours. Okay? So don't tell me that they're out of garlic and then send me a picture of a plastic bag with a million garlic cloves unshelved. I want them in their home. I want them as God intended them and at my door.

[Hannah]

Okay, they give you the minced cut up ones.

[Kim]

No, they sent me, like, a bag of, like. I was like, no, I don't want a bag of garlic. That someone in the back room, like, unpeeled all of them. I want it in its home. I know it's there. I know it's there. The next morning, I did the same order. She got it.

[Hannah]

Mm.

[Kim]

So if you're really interested in women's rights, put. Put the option on Uber Eats to get women. Also, because Let me tell you something. All the men aren't going to be able to work for Uber real soon. And that's just, that's just natural selection. That has nothing to do with us.

[Hannah]

I distinctly remember my mom having fights with my dad. Could she give him the list? Did your mom have like a written list? She'd say, this is the list. This is all you have to do is get like the six things on this list. And he would come back, he'd lose the list. Something happened where he couldn't find anything. He bought complete wrong thing. And I remember, I'm like, this happens every time.

[Kim]

A sentence that is burned in my brain is, where's the goddamn list? And that's from my dad. That's a direct quote from my dad,

[Hannah]

Gary Shakespeare Desorbo.

[Kim]

And there's so many times that he's come home and my mom has been like, okay, but this isn't one. And he's like, kim, they didn't have it. They didn't have it, Kim.

[Hannah]

And she's like, don't make me go over there, because I will.

[Kim]

I know that they did.

[Hannah]

I know they did. I know they did. My dad also would, on the list of things we need, he would like write jokes at the bottom. Like, he'd write a backhand.

[Sponsor Voice]

That's sweet.

[Hannah]

Yeah. So like he'd have his little jokes, but my mom was like, it's not and it isn't funny.

[Kim]

It's not funny.

[Hannah]

That is a good game show though. Like, dad's trying to remember their children's birthdays. Yeah. And what, what is it where like,

[Kim]

like my dad, the other weaponized incompetence period.

[Hannah]

But my dad the other day, he, he like wasn't answering his phone and I was like, oh, silly dad. Or like my mom doesn't answer. I'm like, so she's in ditch. She's in a ditch.

[Kim]

She's dead somewhere. She went to a doctor's appointment. She didn't tell me about it. Now she's dead on the table. Like, I got my dad. I'm like, he left his phone in the car.

[Hannah]

There's not a no. I was like, my dad forgot how his phone works and that's okay. Meanwhile, when my mom, when she answers on the first ring, that's what true love is.

[Kim]

Do you ever call your mom and your dad answers and you're like,

[Sponsor Voice 2]

I'm

[Kim]

calling for a reason. Like, can you gather? Like sometimes I almost feel bad cuz I'm like, oh, there's nothing for you. I'M like, I actually called for mom.

[Hannah]

What's the tik tok? This is my house. It's Pam.

[Kim]

I don't know. I don't know that one.

[Hannah]

I'm the owner of this house. No, my dad's answered before. And it's like when she's in the shower. And I'm like, I'll call back. Thank you.

[Kim]

Also, last night, the last Culturistas Awards aired.

[Hannah]

Wait, can I give some tea? So this is so funny. We get in and they put us in, like, these seats. They put us in the front, by the way. Yeah. Thank you. Bowen and Matt treating us. They put us right in the front. I'm so excited. I'm sitting there all titillated. I love watching other people perform. And. And the camera guy.

[Kim]

I love watching other people perform.

[Hannah]

So this camera guy comes and he just looks at us and he goes, you guys saw my house? And I look and you didn't hear him say this. He just asked me because I was on the corner and I look at him and I go, now he walks away, comes back, he goes, you guys are supposed to be Summer House. And I go, yeah, well, Sierra was sitting, like, right behind us. So I go, I mean, the people, I think they're going to be Summer House. And he goes, no, you all are supposed to be Summer House. I go, okay, I got fired. I looked at go. I got fired. He goes, hold on one sec. He walks back home, he goes, are you sure you're not Summer House? I'm like, it's complicated. It's the whole thing.

[Kim]

I'm just not aligning myself right now with them.

[Hannah]

I know it's just not really my brand. Like, I know that I'm back on Bravo today, but, like, overall, I just don't. This guy was like, we're going live in three minutes. What the fuck are you talking about? And I was like, there was like, a lot that went on that, like, it's been like six years. Like, I'm not on Summer House.

[Kim]

Like, it's actually super nuanced and, like, I could explain it to you, but, like, I'm not sure we have the time.

[Hannah]

Some people know me from Summer House and people know from Squad. I also do this, like, hand on the street thing sometimes on Tick Tock that people.

[Kim]

Do you have a Hulu account?

[Hannah]

I go, honestly, I started doing sets at the stand and, like, I really started to find my comedic voice on stage. Like, literally, it was so, like. Because I was like. Could not get myself to be like, yeah, I'm on. I'm part of Summer House.

[Kim]

It felt like vitriol to be like, yeah, it's like, no. Like, I actually, I was like, go

[Hannah]

back to your team. Explain the nuances and let's not label people.

[Kim]

I wrote, I wrote down Mandy Moore

[Hannah]

because, oh, my God, we walked by

[Kim]

her, she performed, and with Bowen and Matt. And I just feel like as a society, as a whole, as a collective, especially as millennials, I feel like we're not putting enough onus on Mandy Moore's career and how much she impacted our lives. Like, Mandy Moore actually was the first pop star I knew of. Like, before, before Britney and Christina, like, really came into my world. I was a Mandy Moore girl. Really.

[Hannah]

Well, I feel like now this was a long time ago. So if I get this not fully correct, don't at me. But

[Kim]

you know, it's really funny to think about, like, like our mom saying like, like Gen Z jargon in everyday life. Like, imagine if you just heard Lenore be like, and don't at me, but finish the sentence.

[Hannah]

She actually does because she listens to giggly squad so much later, she was like, I was so page coded. But man, I feel like it was a timing thing where there were too many girls of similar fonts. Like, there were too many blond. I'll be so real with you. They were like, either go brunette or we don't have space for you here. Like, they had. Because they had Jessica Simpson, they had. They had Christina and they had Britney. And Mandy Moore was like, as good. Like, I loved Mandy Moore, but it seemed like the timing was wrong. She should have dyed her hair red.

[Kim]

Name a red head pop star. Vitamin C. We didn't have a red headed pop star. We still don't really have. We have Chapel Roan, but I don't even see her as like a pop star.

[Hannah]

No, no.

[Kim]

Also, our generation, we had a ton of pop stars. Like the past 10, 15 years. Who were their pop stars?

[Hannah]

Taylor Swift, Ariana.

[Kim]

Yeah, but Ariana is. Wasn't doing tours like Britney and Christina were doing. And Destiny's Child. We're doing tours.

[Hannah]

You are so nostalgic. Wait, I'm charging my computer. You literally just want to talk about your childhood.

[Kim]

I just love our era of pop stars and the girls.

[Hannah]

I did just post Eve the rapper Evie.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

On my Instagram. I just love finding old songs that were so good. That was from 2001. Besides 9 11, that was an amazing year. I love that you had no reaction to that.

[Kim]

I just heard you say 9 11. And I thought best to switch the topic. Wait, speaking of 9, 11, did you see that the Knicks parade, like, downtown. This was downtown this morning. I hate to be. I don't want to be negative. I don't. I don't want my, like, initial thoughts on things to be negative. I want to be a positive person. But when I saw the parade on TV and I saw that, it. I think one of the news reporters said, like, there's 3 million people down here. My first thought was, why in the. Well, also, you know how I feel about parades.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Yeah.

[Kim]

I don't think they're. I don't think they're appropriate.

[Hannah]

But this is the thing. These people are not like us. And I admire them so much to be like. They want to add a life experience to their life and have a core memory.

[Kim]

No one's got to be anywhere on a Thursday at 10am Come on. I was like. And then I'm looking. I'm looking. And obviously, the majority are men. And I'm like, oh, no. Like, the loneliness epidemic. How will you guys survive?

[Hannah]

Also, the smoking of cigars is so funny to me. Like, imagine if, like, the woman's tennis player who won the US Opens just smoking a cigar on, like. It's crazy.

[Kim]

I've never been around a man smoking a cigar until Joe.

[Hannah]

It's a culture.

[Kim]

It's a culture. It's a whole thing. It's a whole world that I had no idea about.

[Hannah]

Men are spending their money on. On specific weird shit like watches, cigars.

[Kim]

I've also have never really been around someone that golfed as much as Joe.

[Sponsor Voice]

Golf.

[Hannah]

How do you feel? Because Des is a golfer, I always say, before you have a family, it's quite nice.

[Kim]

Here's my thing with golf, and this is, like, so candid. I almost, like, want to whisper.

[Hannah]

Let's whisper. Just say it.

[Kim]

Here's the thing. I don't care when you're golfing. I don't care. I don't have kids, so I don't have to go as hard. So you. You do and go wherever you want to, because I certainly will as well. Not. That's not where my problem lies. My problem lies is when you come home. I don't need to talk about it. I don't need to know how everyone else did. I don't need. Literally, Joe texted me the other day. He was like, I'm playing really bad. I texted him back, and I go, kim, there are people that are dying.

[Hannah]

I go, kim, your sister's going to jail.

[Kim]

I like I'm like, stop taking selfies of yourself. I don't care. So that's where. And I didn't realize that's what the girls were dealing with. I thought that they were, like, the majority, mad that they were leaving at times or it was like, I planned something for a Saturday afternoon. I didn't realize. The other part of it was that you have to talk, then talk about it.

[Hannah]

Well, sometimes they. For fun, like, bet money. And I know, like, Des and his friends, just for fun, will, like, put five bucks in or whatever. So come home, he'll be like, babe, I made $30 today. And I'm like, I'm wet. Yeah, I'm so wet from this.

[Kim]

I feel like you liking SP sports. If someone came home and was like, great golf story today. You would be like, okay, I'll listen.

[Hannah]

The thing also with DEZ is he does wake up really early. Like, he starts golfing at 7am so by the time he gets home at, like, 11, I already just had my coffee. I'm, like, excited to see him.

[Kim]

Okay.

[Hannah]

But some men will just, like, be gone the entire day. I just wonder, like, because I know the men aren't talking about anything interesting. So I'm like, how are you guys not getting bored? Also, I went to Shinnecock, which is the practice for the US Open men's. So what's so interesting about golfers as a sports podcast? You can't tell who the professional athletes are versus, like, the coaches, the managers, the agents walking around. Because it was, like, a practice. Because they all have the same body type. Like, you know, when, like, the basketball team comes in, everyone's like, the basketball. Those are the basketball players. No one knew who the golfers were. It was just a bunch of dudes with pants and collared shirts. And some of the agents were more fit than the golfers. And I was confused.

[Kim]

Hannah, that is so funny.

[Hannah]

I kept, like, smiling at everyone. Then I was like, who's who?

[Kim]

So do golfers. Are they, like, not working out?

[Hannah]

They don't have to. Like, they can have guts because they kind of just need power.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And, like, they're not burning a whole lot of calories, just swinging and then getting in a. But then some of them work out a lot, and then some of them get injured because they worked out too much.

[Kim]

Interesting.

[Hannah]

Like, they got too jacked. Yeah.

[Kim]

They just have to really, like, hit it hard also. I don't care.

[Hannah]

I was like, we've been talking about this way too.

[Kim]

Also, I don't give a about these guys.

[Hannah]

I also do think that if you wanted to, you'd be so good at golf because you have a wingspan of, like.

[Kim]

If I wanted to, I could.

[Hannah]

But if you wanted to, you could Wait. One more thing about Las culturistas.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

One of the more embarrassing things happened to me Instagram. Like, the day before, I see a message from Matt Bowen and you in a group chat.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And Matt said something funny that made us laugh. And then I scroll up, and I realized, like, I'd missed all of it. So then I'm like, oh, my God, I'm so sorry. I missed, like, the previous conversation. Then I realized he had added me to an old conversation that you guys had had from. From when you won Cool Girl of the Year the previous year. So then I. And I, like, honestly, like, I know them, but I don't know them enough to be, like, so stupid over dms. So then I had to be. And I can't unsend it.

[Kim]

Right?

[Hannah]

Woman's not an snl. I have respect. I'm not sending messages. So then I'm like, over explaining what that I'm. Then I'm like, I'm a fucking idiot. I'm so sorry. I'll see you guys there. And don't tell them. Don't tell the camera guy that I'm on. That guy's only job was to record me, you, and Sierra. And I was literally being like, you're in the wrong place, bro. Also, at one point, Sierra took my scarf, almost suffocated, choked me, and then started. Started, like, swinging it. The scarf was actually dangerous. At some point.

[Kim]

It was. It was a health hazard. At some point.

[Hannah]

Yeah, my thing.

[Kim]

When you came and told me that, like, oh, they added me to your original group chat so I could see the previous messages, the first thing I thought was, what is any girl in high school doing? Like, could you imagine being in high school? You're DMing with your friend, you're talking about someone. Then you guys get into a fight. They add the third girl in. She sees everything you guys have said.

[Hannah]

I'm like, no, I just need to let people know because, well, I scrolled up, and it was literally Matt being like, thank you so much for coming. And I. And I. Only you responded, and I was like, oh, my God, how did I ignore Matt? And then it was just me being like, sorry, I don't. I didn't. I didn't know what's going on.

[Kim]

Yeah, that's a crazy feature. And I didn't know they had that. So Hannah Chomp Honestly, DMS are like.

[Hannah]

I don't even know what's going on with dms. I still don't know if people can see if I read their DMs or not.

[Kim]

My Instagram has a lot of bugs, so, like, I don't really know what's going on. I can't see any of my mentions. If I click a DM and then I click off of it, it deletes. Gone forever. So I've been like, I've like, tried to respond to people and then it's gone. So whatever, who cares? I canceled my Botox appointment for next Friday because my mom keeps sending me videos about how it goes right into your brain. She said, you want to numb your brain.

[Hannah]

Wait, I'm obsessed. She's like, there's. What are those, like, eating things that eat your brain?

[Kim]

And then an amoeba.

[Hannah]

An amoeba. There's amoeba toxins also. Do you know the difference between Dysport, Botox, set of Cetaphil?

[Kim]

The way I think about is they

[Hannah]

all sound like aliens.

[Kim]

This is the way I think about it, you know a band aid.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Kim]

The brand is Band Aid.

[Hannah]

Got it.

[Kim]

That's not a band aid. Botox is the brand, but there's other ones that do all do the same thing, but they're not called Botox. Botox just has the mo. The best pr. I also could have just made that up, but I'm pretty sure that's how it is. So. No, I actually don't know the difference between Botox and Dysport. I know that if you metabolize one or the other faster, they give you the other one.

[Hannah]

Do you think your Botox has worn off yet?

[Kim]

Not fully.

[Hannah]

From your lip?

[Kim]

Not fully.

[Hannah]

How did it affect your mental health?

[Kim]

It affected my mental health in multiple ways because I waited so long to do it. And then I felt like I went against myself self because, like, you went against your own gut because you felt peer pressured from your own self. And then I hated when then, like, people would already, like, comment like, oh, my God, she's gotten so much work done. So then after I got Botox, they were like, well, I know for a fact she gets Botox. I'm like, I haven't had. You wish I had a surgery on my face. You wish I had a nose job. But so that like, pissed me off.

[Hannah]

I did post a photo I think of when I was little and someone's like, I knew you got filler. I was like, I'm an infant in that Photo Literal infant child they were like, look how small your lips are. I'm like, I'm just, I'm two weeks old.

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[Kim]

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[Kim]

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[Kim]

Wait, did you watch Maternal Instinct?

[Hannah]

Now let me do a warning. I'm not gonna say what happened.

[Kim]

Okay?

[Hannah]

This first episode, I'm not gonna spoil it. And I will give you guys time until Monday to watch it. But then I'm spoiling it because we have to talk about what happens.

[Kim]

Wait, there's more than one episode?

[Hannah]

No, There's 1.

[Kim]

1. 1. Okay, yeah, like, an hour and a half.

[Hannah]

I don't want to give the ending away.

[Kim]

Okay, yeah, because this is a big one.

[Hannah]

This is the kind of thing where you're like, yeah, this is fucking crazy. And then it ends, and you're like, oh,

[Kim]

well, you're just like, it's starting. And you're like, okay. Like, yeah, crazy. And then you're like, she's not gonna. There's no way she.

[Hannah]

There's. She's not great. Also, like, part of me was like, how did we go from A to Z? Like, there was no reason for it to end the way it did. Like, there's so many levels of crazy. And look, I hate one thing about me. I hate calling a woman crazy. This one is crazy.

[Kim]

Well, here's why I think it's so scary when women do evil things.

[Hannah]

Because they're smart.

[Kim]

Because they're so smart. So, like, if you have a girl who legitimately hates your stinking guts or, like, wants to wish harm on you. That's one of the scariest things in the world. I'd pick a man over a girl who hates me.

[Hannah]

That's why I primarily fight with men. Because knowing a girl hates you, you literally are like, she could be 10 steps ahead. Like, she. She. I'm walking into what she wants me to do right now. Like, who knows?

[Kim]

No, they're terrifying. Dude, I just saw a news article in that, like, two girls. I think it was, like, downtown. It was either downtown New York or, like. Or, like, over in. Right in Jersey City. And it was like, two girls got acid thrown on them. Yeah. Just, like, walking down the street that. It was, like a targeted attack. It was like, a guy. It was two people on a moped. They don't know if it was girls or guys. Like, that is.

[Hannah]

Can you stop scaring. People are Friday. Everyone be alert.

[Kim]

You have to be alert.

[Hannah]

Well, we've become Italian Mom. She's like, once a girl was just. Just like you walking down the street. Hit her in the head.

[Kim]

No. People can get so jealous of you that rather than trying to kill you, they just want to, like, destroy your life. It's very scary.

[Hannah]

One thing that made me feel good about my enemies was I was. You know, I was getting those quotes and how, like, your enemies believe in you more than you believe in yourself.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I was kind of like, holy shit, you're my cheerleader. You're my everything. You're my doctor. You're my engineer. You're my Jalen Brunson.

[Kim]

Yeah, but you have, like, normal enemies. I have enemies that are like, I'll find where you live, and I'll find where your cousins.

[Sponsor Voice]

We.

[Hannah]

I love how we're debating who has worse enemies.

[Kim]

Oh, a kitty just jumped up.

[Hannah]

Oh, hi, Kitty. I found out, because I'm a Scorpio Rising. Someone was like, hey, Scorpio Rising. People are gonna really hate you. Like, groups of people are gonna come together and be like, I don't. With her. And they're not gonna like you. And you either have to accept it and move on, or your life's gonna be a living hell. And I was like, cool, cool, cool, cool. Glad I saw this. Tick tock.

[Kim]

And because you're a Leo, you, like, I can't hide. Yeah. And, like, people just gravitate toward you.

[Hannah]

Yeah. We have different types of enemies, and we trigger different things in people.

[Kim]

Yes.

[Hannah]

And that's why we're best friends.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Wait.

[Kim]

Okay, so back to this documentary.

[Hannah]

Oh, yeah. Do you want to explain, or do you want me to start the one

[Kim]

thing I want to say about it, and this is why I think that gossip is so important.

[Hannah]

Oh, yes.

[Kim]

They were in the smallest town in America and a bunch of people knew this bitch was nuts. And no one said anything because they did not want to get involved in like, gossip or drama. But like, it is so important to talk to your friends and be like, like, no, this is what I heard. And that bitch is nuts.

[Hannah]

I do think it's a red flag when you meet some of them, someone, and they immediately start demonizing someone. Whether it's a guy demonizing an ex or, or, or you're someone demonizing a friend. Like, granted, there are obviously bad people, but when someone goes too hard, like, I don't like that. It should be more like, yeah, I don't fuck with her. But like, whatever. Like, I wish her well instead of this. Okay, so this girl, she's beautiful. She comes, she's in the town and she meets poor Wade. Poor Wade, he just likes the farm. He stays busy all day.

[Kim]

Red hair and he's sweet and he's chunky. And yeah, he just like, wants to like, do country stuff and like.

[Hannah]

Yes.

[Kim]

And his friend, what about his friend? That was like, I don't care what no other folks do. I loved that so much. I was like, I don't care what other folks do.

[Hannah]

He was like, I would get the gossip, but I just live my life and I don't care what's going on. But then, you know, he sat there at the end and was like, damn, I should have asked one question. I should ask two questions maybe. Oh, damn. So anyway, he has pigs, he has a farm. And he's just like, I'm a hard working country guy. I love when people from the country and people make fun of New Yorkers. We're like, oh, from New York. Which is so valid. But like, country people are like, do you like a country song? Because that's all I'm looking for in a girl. Would you listen to a country song with me and just sit out by the country and talk about the country and talk about how those city folks are so weird. But we got the country. We got sunsets.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And trees. So anyway, the waves is doing his thing. She comes into his life, she love. They like, it's quick, quick. And she immediately is like, I have a lot of money, but I can't get it because of my trust. Which if I had a nickel.

[Kim]

If I had a nickel.

[Hannah]

Do you remember there was a man in our life that was like, I can't get a tattoo or I won't get my trust. And we were like, that makes sense. So she's a combination of a lot of mental illnesses. First she's full. It's. It's very con man things. And I do have to say I'm kind of obsessed with con men. I'm kind of obsessed because everyone else has to live with the reality. And they're like, I won't. I'm just not. And when you believe it yourself, that shit's real for you.

[Kim]

And that's why you don't align with Summer House.

[Hannah]

That's why I told the cameraman to step back.

[Kim]

No, I love people that don't live in reality. I'm like.

[Hannah]

So she basically is like, I'm loaded and I'm getting you a truck because I love you. So if you know a country man, there's nothing they love more than a truck. Yeah. I told you once I met these country guys, and they're like, we're gonna come pick you up on our truck. And I was like, a hub truck. Like, I never know what a truck. I was like, I'm from New York, like, Like, you mean like a moving truck? Like, what are you talking about, truck? Just say suv. Anyway, so he gets his big truck, and then she wants to be sweet with the mom, so she somehow buys the mom this, like, really nice car. Car. Now the mom, because she's a woman, is like, let's look into this a little. Because this is kind of strange that this girl's like a month in buying everyone things, and they're like, no one paid for that car and we have to take it back.

[Kim]

Yeah. Got repossessed within, like three weeks.

[Hannah]

You know what it is also with con men? They go so crazy that it's like so unrealistic that you can't wrap your head around it. Because then she goes, I want to buy this, like 20 million dollar acre farm.

[Kim]

4 million.

[Hannah]

And she sits the whole family down to, like, present it to them that she's gonna.

[Kim]

On Christmas.

[Hannah]

On Christmas. And they have footage. That's why documentaries is so good nowadays. They have footage of everything.

[Kim]

That's why Ben Stiller was like at the game with his sideways camera, just getting footage.

[Hannah]

I wouldn't have been surprised. Ben Stiller was out there Christmas, holding his horizontal phone.

[Kim]

We're about to make history.

[Hannah]

We're about to make history. And she's telling. She's like, I found this farm and we're gonna live. And everyone's kind of like, okay. Go off like, we're proud of you guys.

[Kim]

Have we ever been to Oklahoma?

[Hannah]

We've been to Oklahoma City.

[Kim]

Okay, right, right, right, right, right.

[Hannah]

Which is Oklahoma. But Kansas City's not in Kansas. It's in Missouri. I digress.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Kim]

And you know what?

[Hannah]

And you know what?

[Kim]

And you know what? Whoever was going through something on that day that that got named, they go,

[Hannah]

you know how we're gonna confuse those New Yorkers? Those dumb New Yorkers? We're gonna call it Kansas and Missouri. Oh, really? Throw them. They'll never find us. So then she's like, I don't fuck with my mom. Which, look, there are people who have bad relationships with their mom, totally fine. But she's like, my mom's trying to steal my trust. My mom is the worst person in the world. My mom's evil. And the mom's nowhere to be found. In any event, the mom's not invited.

[Kim]

I thought we were going to see the mom at some point.

[Hannah]

Well, finally someone contacts the mom, and the mom is basically like, that bitch is crazy. Yeah. She's like, but I can't say anything because then I won't be able to see my granddaughter.

[Kim]

Which made so much sense.

[Hannah]

Then we find out she has these other former friends. Do you want to tell them about the former friends?

[Sponsor Voice]

No, you can keep going.

[Hannah]

Okay. So these former friends, and they. Because you were on your phone the whole time.

[Kim]

Because I don't quite remember how they knew. She knew that.

[Hannah]

They were like. Yeah, they were just, like, friends. And one of them gets pregnant, and she became obsessed with her pregnancy. Yes.

[Kim]

And she was just, like. She was being so weird. I had to distance myself, which. Look, I know on this podcast we're all about, like, pointing out the things that men do, and we're like, always all for the girls. But if you get a gut feeling about a girl that is not being. Not a girl's girl, that is not being, like, a mean girl. If you get a gut feeling about someone, nine times out of ten, it is right?

[Hannah]

And she basically was like. She was being so fucking weird about my pregnancy. And then she started working for a company, and her boss had a daughter who passed away. She tells the boss, I had a daughter who passed away. And they, like, bond over it. The boss somehow finds out she's lying about it. Also finds out she's never done a slick of work since she's been there. Like, she's just fucking around, not doing calls, not doing meetings. But I guess she's.

[Kim]

Which isn't illegal.

[Hannah]

Is not illegal. And also, I'm like, that's not the

[Kim]

bad thing here, and that's not why she's a bad person. Wait, Hannah and I were on a zoom.

[Hannah]

No, I can't go on zooms with you anymore. Like, we actually.

[Kim]

I actually. That was my worst one.

[Hannah]

That was my worst one. I have to pull up yours.

[Kim]

Texted Hannah. And I go, I literally don't know what's going on in this zoom. And then I said something during the zoom. And then I realized that everyone knew I didn't know what was going on because they laughed at me. I said. And all I said was, I'm so excited.

[Hannah]

And they're so on to you. Like, because all of that happened. Then you go, I. I love school. Like, you said something crazy. You were like.

[Kim]

And I said, I'm so excited too.

[Hannah]

And they go, okay, Okay. I have an earnest question to ask you. Could you tell that I was online shopping during it?

[Kim]

No. I thought you were going to text me back, but you didn't. So, like, I saw you looking at something and I was like, oh, obviously something. Something's more important. But I did. Obviously didn't know you were online shopping.

[Hannah]

There was. But, yeah, you were like, I actually have no idea what is going on. Also, you're, like, obsessed with sending me invisible text messages, which is, like, actually giving me a next level adrenaline hit. Like, now when I see one coming in, I'm like, oh, like, I freak out. You have certain friend groups in your life that really give. Actually shout out to all the friend groups that are out here doing the work so that, like, when you're in your, like, peaceful era, you can, like, I have a friend. Her name's Ally.

[Kim]

Yeah. And everyone. And sometimes me and Hannah will be on the phone and I'll say to Hannah, we're. We're so. We're so vibing and we're so content. And we're like, wow, we're really, like, working so hard in our lives. And, like, I just, like, feel real peace right now. And I'll say, why don't you text Ally, see if she's got a little something for us.

[Hannah]

Ali keeps me fed, like, to the point that she'll tell me something, like, really upsettingly crazy. And I just go, I just want you to know thank you. Thank you for making me feel alive in my. In my heart and in this moment. So shout out to Ali for having fun, because, look, she's single.

[Kim]

Yeah, she's. She's out there.

[Hannah]

She's in the street doing work.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

She could have been the Knicks parade today. Who knows? She's everywhere.

[Kim]

Actually, one of my girlfriends was at the Knicks parade, and she's my friend, and I'm like, I'll text and be like, what are your girlfriends fighting about?

[Hannah]

Well, I've actually tried to infiltrate her friend group too, because she hangs out, like, with the Knicks fans all the time.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Yeah. This pod is about us finding other people that have stuff going on and then spilling it on the pod. I'm like, guys, I know a girl. You're not gonna believe this. But anyway, yeah. So finally, this girl tells Wade, a little country bumpkin Wade, that she's pregnant.

[Kim]

Wait, I, like, don't hate the name Wade.

[Hannah]

I don't hate it, but I don't love it. It's giving, D. It's giving like Mormon. It's giving like douchy Mormon. Like, the cool Mormon guy who, like, if he was in a normal city, everyone would be like, why does he talk like that? But in Mormontown, they're like, it's Wade. And he's like, what's up, guys?

[Kim]

Yeah, he's, like, quirky and he's fun.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Kim]

He's got, like, a really good personality, but he's not the cutest. But his girlfriend's gorgeous. That's like, Wade from Utah.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Yeah. Also, why is his name Dakota? Like, no one addresses it. The whole. No one's ever said, hey, how do we get here?

[Kim]

Well, cuz, I. You're saying cuz you think that's a girl's name.

[Hannah]

No, just cuz I. Like, that's the kind of thing you say. Give me the backstory. Yeah. Like, you don't just let someone say, my name's Dakota. And you go, oh, obviously.

[Kim]

No, I need to be with you the next time you say to someone. And why don't you give me the backstory on that one? Because there's got to be something here. No one's just. No one's just at the hospital saying, honey, what about Dakota?

[Hannah]

Well, this is the thing about Dakota on Mormon Housewives. Literally takes till the reunion for him to be like, by the way, I was on heroin for 10 years. And we're like, we don't talk about that. I'm like, this is a huge part of why he's brain dead. And no one talks about it. I'm like, the guy has been struggling in active addiction, and everyone's just like, why? He's trying to survive.

[Kim]

Yeah. But he's also the worst, and he's the worst.

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[Kim]

this episode of Giggly Squad is sponsored by Haagen Dazs. You know that feeling when you've been going non stop and you finally just

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[Kim]

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[Hannah]

As you guys know, Butter is my literal everything. I would do anything for her, and I would do anything to extend her life. Okay, I can't even look at her and think about that. She's 8 years old right now. No, I don't even like to think of her age. Ever. Anyway, then I discovered Smalls. Smalls is a fresh cat food brand made for cats and only cats. It's high in protein, low in carbs, high in moisture, mimicking what cats eat in the wild and supporting their overall health. Because more years isn't enough. I want them to live their best lives. So if I can make sure that Butter's nutrition is at its best, that's the least I can do as a mother. Butter loves her Smalls. I give it to her in the morning and night and snacks. And for a limited time, get 60 off your first order, plus free shipping when you head to smalls.com giggle. That's smalls.com promo code. Giggle for 60 off your first order. That's a lot, guys. Go feed your kitties. But anyway, so she says, wade, my country bumpkin, Wade, I'm pregnant. And he's like, I didn't really want a daughter, but here we are. It's a. Whatever. But then she starts doing the thing where she's like, you can't come to this. You can't come to the doctor with me.

[Sponsor Voice]

You.

[Hannah]

She sends a ultrasound to someone that. And the date is 2016. And the lady, they just met this girl. So they're. They're like questioning everything. So they. They tell her, hey, why does it say 2016? She immediately responds and is like, oh, there was a mistake at the hospital.

[Kim]

This happens because it's like 2019, right?

[Hannah]

I think it was after Covid. It was, oh, maybe, I don't know. But it was past 2016. So she's. She's being a little sloppy. So people are kind of on to her. And then some photos, she looks pregnant, some she doesn't. She does a whole photo shoot with a fake belly. And the craziest thing about it is Wade has never seen her stomach. He's like, she doesn't let me touch her. She doesn't let me have sex with her. How is there not one moment in those nine months that he was like, can I see the baby's stomach?

[Kim]

They didn't have sex for nine months.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Wade's like, she's not letting me touch her because she's insecure because she's. She's pregnant, and I respect her space. I'm like, she's just eating a lot of Cheetos.

[Kim]

At what point are you not having sex with your husband where, like, then you're saying something like, how long are

[Hannah]

you going before you're like, oh, we should talk about this.

[Kim]

Yeah. Nine months.

[Hannah]

No, no, that's crazy.

[Kim]

That's crazy.

[Hannah]

Wade is busy on the farm. Wade's been on the farm, and I

[Kim]

think I'm going a month, tops.

[Hannah]

Well, he said she would just, like, go in the bathroom and, like, put the shower on and then be, like, on her computer, like, making up lies. But also, in the meantime, she had to make money. So what she did was she became a photographer, and she became a wedding photographer.

[Kim]

Sometimes I. Sometimes when you describe what happens in documentaries, I. I think, did I watch this?

[Hannah]

That's, like, when Grace posts memes from the episode, and literally, you say things. I'm like, I never heard her say that. Like, the funniest line in the world. I'm like, I wasn't there for that. I didn't. Don't hear your comeback.

[Kim]

If someone calls me after we record Giggly Squad and says, like, oh, would you talk about on Giggly Squad? I go, I have no idea.

[Hannah]

No. Grace is like, what should we title this? And I was like, what? I don't remember one word that we said. Like, not one topic. So she does this. She. And she meets this family, and she shoots their wedding, and it's. And I guess shortly thereafter, the bride gets pregnant. And they, like, stayed in touch a little bit. So she's pregnant. This one's saying she's pregnant. And then everyone who's doubting her pregnancy is like, okay, like, what is she gonna do? It's like seven months, eight months.

[Kim]

We're nearing the due date.

[Hannah]

Due date happens. And I think she was apparently Googling, like, where to adopt a brand new baby.

[Kim]

Like, you could Uber eats one.

[Hannah]

Literally. She was like, fresh baby near me. Like, And I guess she was trying to get. Who knows? But, like, how do you go nine months without least, like, having a plan of that? I don't know. But the crazy thing with this documentary is it starts with her in a car getting stopped by the cops, saying, I just had a baby in my car. Now, I'm not going to tell you guys any more information because I don't want to give it away, but shit gets really fucking crazy.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I, you know, guys know, I don't want to drop an F bomb for no reason. That was worth it.

[Kim]

One thing I will say about the documentary, all the moms that are in it that are like the, the talking heads that are like, explaining the story to you are all the most like. So, like, when the girls were speaking, the women. I had to turn the TV up because everyone was so soft spoken. Like, Wade's mom obsessed. I love Wade's mom. And then Wade's mom's friend who was like, something's going on here. I'm gonna figure it out.

[Hannah]

Imagine being soft spoken. Maybe people would listen to me more.

[Kim]

Imagine not having the sound of a. Of your voice just be nails on a chalkboard to some people. Like, sometimes like art. Okay. Sometimes, like, our clips on Tick Tock from the pod will be, like, posted by, like, some random account. Like, not us. It'll be like a random clip they took from the pod and there will be a rogue comment with. Of someone who has no idea who we are. Just like, horrible voices. How do you listen? Like, and I'm just like, valid.

[Hannah]

Like, no, but I feel voices. Our voices aren't that bad.

[Kim]

No, but like, everybody hates their own voice. I feel like. So when you see a comment like, her voice sucks, you're like nine. Like, okay.

[Hannah]

That's why we change our voices sometimes. I also posted on my. I'm going to start posting on my Instagram stories more often. Like, the docs I'm watching. So people. Because people get annoyed when they're like, hannah, we don't know what you're watching. And then you tell it. So I posted also, there's this. You would. I don't know, you might like it. It's a model cult in New York City on hbo. And it was about, like, this guy who was an astrologist, psychic, like, former model who was obsessed with beautiful things and beautiful people. And he just wanted a cult of, like, really beautiful people around him. So just like, that's just a promoter.

[Kim]

That's a club promoter. That's a literal club promoter.

[Hannah]

He literally was a club promoter.

[Kim]

That's any guy you meet that's like, I work in nightlife, literally.

[Hannah]

And this guy becomes like one of the biggest models in the world. And he gave all his money to him. That's where they get you with the cults. Like, somehow they convince everyone to give Them, their money.

[Kim]

So, speaking of cults, are you done with Secret Lives of Mormon Wives?

[Hannah]

I have, like, six more episodes left right now. Oh, my God. Taylor's, like, just slept with Dakota, and she's, like, preparing for the Bachelorette.

[Kim]

Oh, I'm sorry that you're almost done,

[Hannah]

but I didn't realize that whole season is so, like, about leading up to the Bachelorette.

[Kim]

You felt more awful for her that they didn't air it, because watching her. Him so strategically, like, sleep with her before and.

[Hannah]

But that's the problem of getting in bed with someone. Like, if they're your actual op.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, they have everything on you, and they can use it against you. So it's like, do you want someone who protects you from your darkness or brings it to the light? Why did that become a spell? But I also realized these poor girls, they didn't get breaks from filming.

[Kim]

No, they went right into it. I was just gonna say that. So they're not. They haven't filmed another season yet.

[Hannah]

Well, I think for their sanity, that would be really good. But I. I really think, like, that's why the seasons are so good, because they didn't take breaks. So, you know when, like, you watch seasons of a TV show and you're like, that was a different director on that one, or, like, because it was all the same. Like, it all felt like every season was equal to me.

[Kim]

Well, now that Love island is such a huge phenomenon both in America and, like, there's franchises all over the world, it makes it annoying to watch reality TV months and months later because of social media. So you know so much more where it's like, okay, you. They have the capabilities of being able to watch it somewhat in real time, because I think Mormon wives tried to do it. They did it the closest I've seen in a while. Like, they filmed, and then it was out, and you were like, that was really fast.

[Hannah]

But I do have to say, competition shows, the storylines are easier. It's like, these people stay. These people go where these shows, they have to, like, create narratives. I mean, we do know that they edit as they see what the fandom says. Like, they change narratives. So, like, that is kind of doing it. But, oh, these editors are like, yeah, it would.

[Kim]

I think it would make more shows real because they couldn't go back and be like, let's actually not even include that in that episode, because that will make her point in a later episode valid. And we can't have that. That's crazy. Why would we have that?

[Hannah]

Also, one thing about swig. If you guys don't know what swig is, it's this, like, soda company where they put, like, milk and shit in it.

[Kim]

And, like, I never get that milk part of it.

[Sponsor Voice]

But.

[Hannah]

No, but my question is, how sweet is that?

[Kim]

They're like, yeah, no, you would die.

[Hannah]

Even when people put one vanilla, like, thing in an espresso or a latte, I'm like, I feel like, you.

[Kim]

When's the last time you had a sip of Coca Cola?

[Hannah]

Oh, I don't. I don't really dabble, but even, like, a Sepski. Yeah, I'll have a sip.

[Kim]

Yeah, but you're never, like, drinking a full. If you're getting a carbonated or, like, a soda, you're never drinking.

[Hannah]

I ever drank a full Coke because my mom's a dietitian. She was like, your teeth are gonna.

[Kim]

Oh, my God.

[Hannah]

That's not my vice.

[Kim]

That's why you don't break out Whitney Night Academy once.

[Hannah]

No, but. Oh, my God. I went. You know how some coffee shops. The caffeine just hits differently.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I went to a coffee shop yesterday, and all I wanted to do was start my day right, and I got two shots of espresso in a chai latte. I was being a little crazy, but,

[Kim]

like, crazy for you.

[Hannah]

I know. But, like, nothing that should send me to the hospital.

[Kim]

When I tell you I was out of your skin.

[Hannah]

I was laying in the bathroom.

[Kim]

Hannah, two shots of espresso is insane.

[Hannah]

Paige. I got home, like, I lying in the bathroom. Butter's looking at me, and I was, like.

[Kim]

I was, like, sweating.

[Hannah]

Sweating, shitting myself, getting up, dizzy, walking into walls. That was my whole morning.

[Kim]

When was this?

[Hannah]

Yesterday?

[Kim]

What time of day?

[Hannah]

I battle things that I sometimes don't. I? Look, I can keep you up with everything, because sometimes I want to protect you.

[Kim]

We want to know what? We talked a lot this week.

[Hannah]

We did. And actually. But you've been good, because we'll start really gabbing, and you go, we need to save for the pot, and we'll just hang up on each other.

[Kim]

No, we had that the other night. We had to hang up because I could have kept going.

[Hannah]

Yeah, Hot take. I actually am really liking dogs right now that have, like, eyebrows.

[Kim]

Well, they have a story to tell. You know, they could be the narrator of a hit Netflix show. You know, like, they. They have an aesthetic. They have a vibe.

[Hannah]

He's a dapper man.

[Kim]

Yeah. Like, I love a dog with an accessory.

[Hannah]

Yeah. Like, he literally got his brows done

[Kim]

like a golden retriever. Wearing a pair of goggles. Yeah, I'm in. I'm not a monster. Okay, I'm not a monster, but am I taking him home with me?

[Hannah]

A distinguished gentleman with his eyebrows, and then they look like they're judging you. Sometimes they're, like, ill, and I'm like, I love that.

[Kim]

Yeah. Like, German shepherds. German shepherds have jobs. They work for the police. Like, they pay taxes, and they love working.

[Hannah]

Like, they wake up and they're like, let me work where cats are like, I don't know your name. I didn't sign up for this. Someone said, like, literally, you. You never tell your cat what to do. And it's so true.

[Kim]

You know what's funny about having a cat is I do feel like it is any pet, really. It is, like, a little bit of a precursor to kids. Not that it's comparable at all, but, like, I can imagine when you're trying to, like, reverse psychology a child, like, when I want Kitty to stay in the room, like, I have to reverse psychology her as if, like, I'm not going to shut the door. I mean, I'm just going to, like, walk over here. And then she comes in, and then I'm like, gotcha. And, like, I am shutting the door so that you can't leave. There is a lot of where, like, with dogs, I feel like you can just be like, come sit. Shut up.

[Hannah]

No. The second the cat knows you want them to come, they're like, suddenly, I'm not in the mood. Yeah.

[Kim]

And I'm like. And then I'm looking around, and then she's looking around. The amount of times that me and Daphne are home alone looking around would send you.

[Hannah]

That would be astonishing also, because cats have, like, ways that they do things, like rituals and routines. So, like, butter doesn't just sit on my shoulder. She does a whole, like, pretends like she's not going to. Then she comes back in, and then she.

[Kim]

They're performers.

[Hannah]

Not that Giggly Squad is cult. The culture, however, there's a movie coming out of. It's. It's basically like a cat Godfather movie. Like, it's a cat mafia movie. And I was like, this could not be more Giggly Squad coated. It's a bunch of cats in the mob. Did you see it?

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I almost felt like, give us a producer credit.

[Kim]

Literally, I go, how about a producer credit?

[Hannah]

I go, italian cats.

[Kim]

We are mafia cats. Like, I actually got, like, a little annoyed when I watched the trailer. I was like, okay, so you listen to Giggly Squad. Just say it.

[Hannah]

They were like, what if we get a bunch of cute cats who are also Italian who want revenge on each other?

[Kim]

Yeah. I'm like, wait, so the whole theme is revenge?

[Hannah]

Oh, yeah.

[Kim]

Okay.

[Hannah]

But also I feel like I need to watch it. That should make me laugh. So, anyway, final thought.

[Kim]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Big glasses, big sunglasses are back. I'm not happy because I have a small head. Even though my personality looks like I have a big head, I actually have a small head. Not to brag. Don't be jealous. But, like, I can't pull off big glasses. I look like a mosquito.

[Kim]

You can, Hannah, you can.

[Hannah]

I like little cunty ones.

[Kim]

Really? Because I feel like you would love the big ones if you got a good pair of big ones because you can hide your whole face with them. Like, no. It's so nice. Like in the morning when you're like, I'm walking to get my coffee and you're like, I'm not trying to interact with anyone. It's like, yeah, yeah, my glasses on.

[Hannah]

You just feel like Paris Hilton after a night out trying to get away from the paparazzi.

[Kim]

It's like what a mask was in 2020. Oh, but the other end of your face, it's just like, please, I can't right now.

[Sponsor Voice]

We can't see.

[Sponsor Voice 2]

Speak.

[Kim]

I have my big glasses on.

[Hannah]

What glasses are you bringing to Italy? Because I know you lost one of your glasses and I wasn't gonna bring it up and I held it for the whole pod.

[Kim]

I did lose a pair of my glasses and I reordered them. They actually got delivered this morning because I hate losing things. Yeah, I'm doing all my Italy packing next week. I can't even think of it.

[Hannah]

I can't. I can't talk about that.

[Sponsor Voice]

Right?

[Hannah]

I can't. I can't. Well, we love you guys. Have the best weekend ever. Thanks for giggling with us and we'll talk to you later. Bye.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Kim]

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