Giggling about yachts, sports betting, and self improvement

Summary

Giggly Squad: Giggling about Yachts, Sports Betting, and Self Improvement

Hosts: Hannah Berner & Paige DeSorbo
Date: January 6, 2026

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Episode Overview

In this episode, Hannah and Paige giggle their way through conversations about self-improvement (and its toxic side), New Year's resolutions, the stigma around women's health issues, pop culture scandals (hello, Tom Brady and Alex Earl), gender double standards, sports betting's male loneliness epidemic, luxury on yachts, and the awkward reality of what happens after a life in sports. As always, the hosts serve up personal anecdotes, sharp pop culture commentary, and their trademark self-deprecating humor.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Soda Problem & New Year’s Resolutions

• Soda Consumption: Hannah confesses her love for soda, especially Coca Cola, but is trying to make healthier choices in 2026 (03:03).

  "One of my things for 2026 is, like, drinking soda... I love everything about soda, but Coca Cola specifically. It's really bad for you. It's so bad." —Hannah (03:03)

• Family Soda Arguments: Grace discusses family debates about the dangers of Diet Coke, leading to a darkly humorous take on mortality and addiction (04:02).
• Self-Improvement Obsession: Hannah admits she's always making resolutions, not just at New Year's. Grace calls self-improvement "toxic," sparking a friendly debate about millennial motivation and internalized pressure (06:03).

  "I love self improvement." —Hannah (06:00)
  "Self improvement's toxic. I said it. Sorry. I'm feeling sassy today." —Grace (06:03)

• The Millennial Pressure: Both agree wasted potential is a pet peeve, linking it to their upbringing and generational messaging ("We were raised on Mulan. Like, you have to save China." —Grace, 07:07).

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2. Mental Health, Medication, and Raw Honesty

• Overmedication Humor: Both joke about everyone being on medication and mistrusting the "raw dogging" friend who isn’t (07:41).

  "I don't trust a friend who's not medicated. I'm like, you're raw dogging. She can't be trusted." —Grace (07:41)

• Chasing Fulfillment: Grace expresses envy for people satisfied with simple hobbies and not driven by external validation, calling them "the only fucking fulfilled people on this planet" (09:38).
• Family Influence: Hannah talks about her mother’s voice in her head telling her she could always do better, a motif resonating throughout the segment (09:04).

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3. The ‘Fuck You’ TikTok Trend: Technique & Attitude

• Analyzing TikTok Trends: Grace introduces a new TikTok trend of girls saying "fuck you" to the camera and the cultural differences between the coasts (11:25-12:25).
• NYC vs. LA Energy: The hosts demonstrate how to properly deliver a convincing "fuck you," including voice inflection and emotional commitment (13:34).

  "You have to really think of something in your head and just be like you. Like, there has to be an emphasis of like, why don't you go fuck yourself?" —Hannah (13:38)

• Therapy Through Rage: Both find the exercise cathartic, joking it provided "three months of therapy" (14:56).

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4. Real Life Mishaps: Vaginal Health and Medical Warrior Bragging

• Morning Gone Awry: Paige shares a vivid anecdote about waking up with a yeast infection before a big work day, contrasting it to her usual UTI struggles (16:09-17:46).
• Stigma and Rebranding: The duo discusses societal stigma around women's health issues and the need to rebrand the conversation, with Hannah humorously declaring she can now "pick mine [her vagina] out of a lineup" (20:07).
• UTI vs. Yeast Infection:

  "I'm so much stronger than the yeast infection girls. I'm sorry. What you guys are dealing with is peanuts." —Hannah (18:19) "A yeast infection needs to be rebranded. There's no way to nicely or glamorously have a yeast infection." —Grace (19:09)

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5. Pop Culture Deep Dive: Tom Brady, Alex Earl, and Gendered Narratives

• Tom Brady & Alex Earl's St. Barts Scandal: The hosts break down public outrage over the rumored couple, noting the double standards in judging Alex as a clout chaser but not critiquing Tom’s motives (27:14-31:10).

  "If you are someone on the Internet that's saying a negative thing towards Alex Earl for going after Tom Brady, but you have not said a negative thing about Tom Brady going after Alex Earl. I don't align with you." —Hannah (26:51)

• Rumored ‘Age Gap’ Backstory: Spreading (with a wink) a TikTok rumor that Alex and Tom may have known each other when Alex was a college student (29:06).
• Men’s Clout-Chasing: The conversation turns to how older men dating younger women is normalized, and how women face a harsher societal judgment (31:28-34:18).

  "I'm so over the narrative that men can do whatever they want at any age and women can't do whatever they want at any age." —Hannah (31:31)

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6. Red Carpets, Relationship Goals, and Uber Eats Data

• Timothee Chalamet’s ‘Girlfriend’ Speech: Giddy admiration for Timothee’s public declaration about Kylie Jenner, while praising Kylie for letting her man have his moment (34:29-35:51).
• Meg Stalter’s Iconic Outfit: Applauding the comedian’s red carpet daring and the meta-humor of the couple being parodied in real time (35:52-36:41).
• Uber Wrapped: The new Uber Eats data dump shocks and amuses both. Hannah’s most ordered food? Cheeseburger. Paige’s? Penne alla vodka. (37:11-39:10)

  "It's aggressive. It's egregious. It's so attacking. It's one of the best things I've ever seen in my life." —Hannah (37:11)

• Food Routines: They discuss their hyperfixations on specific meals and the comfort of consistency (39:06-39:32).

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7. Yachts, Social Status, and The Anxiety of Being Stuck

• Yacht Phobia: Grace reveals her nightmare scenario of being stuck at a party yacht, linking it to the anxiety of not being able to exit uncomfortable social situations (39:50-41:09).

  "A yacht is my biggest phobia. To be stuck on a party in the middle of the ocean that you can't leave. No, thank you." —Grace (39:50)

• The Rich Men Problem: Both dissect yacht culture, concluding that men essentially buy yachts to impress other men—not women (42:00-42:47).

  "Do you want to know who loves rich people the most? Like, rich men." —Hannah (42:07) "They're literally flirting with rich guys." —Grace (42:44)

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8. Sports, Masculinity, and Male Bonding

• Sports Showboating: Hannah humorously questions why men only consider shirt swapping "gay" when it's on Broadway, not the NFL, highlighting double standards and performative masculinity (43:29-44:44).
• True Detective and ‘Dude’ Fantasies: Grace breaks down action tropes in male-targeted shows as "their version of porn," inciting laughs about tanks, wars, and unhealthy hero complexes (50:48-52:25).

  "Men love movies. If there's a tank in it. Any kind of tank, Any type of tank carrying any... They love a movie based on, like, a vessel." —Hannah (51:37)

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9. Decline of Sports Stars & The Male Loneliness Epidemic

• Ryan Lochte’s Troubles: A darkly comic account of the Olympic swimmer’s decline post-fame, including lawsuits, addiction, and reality TV (54:11-56:26).

  "He was the Gronk of swimming." —Grace (54:41)

• Post-Athlete Life Crises: Both express sympathy for athletes who lose both their purpose and identity after retirement, comparing this to reality TV alums desperately acclimating to “the real world” (61:58-63:29).
• Male Loneliness and Coping Patterns: The hosts discuss the much-publicized "male loneliness epidemic," arguing men aren’t lonely, they just aren’t getting laid, and how their coping manifests uniquely (57:57-58:13).

  "You guys don't have a lonely problem. Girls don't want to sleep with you. That's the problem." —Hannah (58:07)

• Sports Betting as 'Male Smoking': Grace passionately claims sports betting is a silent crisis for men, comparing it to how women complain about annoying boyfriend habits (58:33-60:41).

  "Sports betting, I think, is taking down the men. No one's talking about it." —Grace (58:33) "It's honestly smoking for men. Like, we're cool. That's how they feel. Like, you don't bet, bro? You know, I bet..." —Grace (60:07)

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10. Video Games, Male Competition, and Gendered Addictions

• Video Game Addictions: The pervasiveness of gaming among men, with Paige joking it builds character to have never dated a gamer, but Hannah expressing relief she’s missed that drama (60:41-61:41).
• Women’s Perspective: Grace gives real-life anecdotes from college, comparing male video game addiction to women’s annoyance at waiting while their boyfriends play FIFA (61:15-61:45).
• Athletes and Identity Loss: Additional focus on how male and female athletes alike face serious mental health challenges after their careers end, paralleling it to the journey out of reality TV (61:58-63:29).

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• Hannah, on self-improvement:

  "I love self improvement." (06:00)

• Grace, on self-improvement pressure:

  "Self improvement's toxic... I'm feeling sassy today." (06:03)

• On everyone needing medication:

  "I don't trust a friend who's not medicated. I'm like, you're raw dogging. She can't be trusted." —Grace (07:41)

• On performing masculinity:

  "Men love impressing each other." —Hannah (42:47)

• On public judgment of women dating older men:

  "I'm so over the narrative that men can do whatever they want at any age and women can't..." —Hannah (31:31)

• On sports betting:

  "It's honestly smoking for men. Like, you know how, when someone's smoking, it's like, yeah, it's bad and it's killing us, but, like, we're cool. That's how they feel. Like, you don't bet, bro?" —Grace (60:07)

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Timestamps for Major Segments

• Soda Addiction & Family Debates: 03:03–05:43
• Self Improvement Culture & Millennial Pressure: 06:00–09:38
• 'Fuck You' Trend Analysis & NYC vs LA Attitude: 11:25–14:56
• Women's Health Mishaps (Yeast Infections, UTIs): 16:08–20:18
• Tom Brady & Alex Earl Gossip, Gender Double Standards: 26:51–34:18
• Uber Eats ‘Wrapped’, Food Hyperfixations: 37:11–39:32
• Yacht Phobia & Rich Men Culture: 39:50–42:47
• Performing Masculinity (Shirt Swapping, Sports Fandom): 43:29–44:44
• Male Fantasies & Action Tropes in TV/Film: 50:48–52:25
• Ryan Lochte’s Post-Fame Decline: 54:11–56:26
• Male Loneliness and Sports Betting: 57:57–60:41
• Video Game Addictions & Athlete Identity Loss: 60:41–63:29

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Summary Tone & Takeaway

The episode blends razor-sharp humor, candid vulnerability, and pop culture acumen. Hannah and Paige riff on their personal struggles, generational hang-ups, and society’s contradictions—especially about gender expectations. There’s space for both sororal support ("I put her through some shit, but she's okay. She's strong. She is heart and character." —Hannah, 20:07) and light-hearted roasting (of men, marketing trends, and Millennial existential angst). For listeners who crave smart, relatable, and hysterically honest takes on everything from yachts to YouTube drama, this is required listening.

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Note: Advertisements and non-content segments (intros/outros) have been omitted for brevity.

Transcript

[Host/Announcer]

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[Hannah]

And the best part?

[Host/Announcer]

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[Hannah]

Forward to your next workout.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Grace]

Manifest that shit. We can't be managed.

[Host/Announcer]

I mean, the day just got away from me.

[Grace]

Hello my gremlin little gigglers.

[Hannah]

Wait, I just. Are you ever spacing out? And then all of a sudden like you were just talking and I was like really in deep thought about something else. And I forgot that we were doing the podcast also.

[Grace]

We were two seconds into the pod, and you've lost focus.

[Hannah]

Well, because when we get on the phone prior and do other things, then I'm. I like flying. Forget.

[Grace]

Hold on.

[Hannah]

I'm.

[Grace]

You're, like, humble bragging that we, like, did a little bit of admin. Oh, what kind of ASMR pot is this?

[Hannah]

Canada Dry. Shout out to Canada.

[Grace]

Is your tummy okay?

[Hannah]

Well, one of my things for 2026 is, like, drinking soda. Is try. I love soda. Like, I love all. Everything about soda, but Coca Cola specifically. It's really bad for you. It's so bad.

[Grace]

See, I brought this up to a family member during the holidays, as you do. You're just like, what's the most insane thing I could say to my family?

[Hannah]

Did you go home for the holidays if there was not a soda discussion at some point?

[Grace]

Yeah, we were talking about, oh, Coke Zero.

[Hannah]

You have Coke Zero.

[Grace]

So at one point, I said to someone who's fully addicted to drinking Diet Coke, and I decided to make the obvious statement. I go, I don't know if that's good for you.

[Hannah]

You're like, how can I prove I'm better than people in a room full of people?

[Grace]

But he actually made the best point. Actually, it was Dice.

[Hannah]

I was just gonna say, are you talking about your husband? Like, I'm at a family gathering.

[Grace]

I try to protect them, and I just can't. Like, I can't. So it does. His thing is Diet Coke, and, like, that's fine. I let him do his thing. But it was. Something happened, and, you know, we'd been spending too much time together. I said, you know, if you keep drinking that, you're gonna die. You're gonna die, and you're already about to die. I only have, like, 15 years left, so, like, you're just speeding the. Speeding the process up.

[Hannah]

And he was like, man, one thing. Let him have one thing.

[Grace]

I know. But then he kind of, like, outsmarted me because he was like, oh, if Diet Coke was so bad for you, people would be dropping dead left and right. And I was like, okay, kind of a good point. I mean, not that Americans are particularly healthy, but, like, if Diet Coke really was killing people, like, the sole purpose was Diet Coke, like, people be dropping like flies.

[Hannah]

So when did your Diet Coke campaign come out?

[Grace]

The Diet Coke people are like, I think she's. I think she's promoting it. I don't know if the angle was the best play.

[Hannah]

The gigglers are like, Hannah's change. She stands for nothing. She's a sellout.

[Grace]

Oh, God, no.

[Hannah]

It's so good. Once I started. I mean, no, it's the same thing as, like, watching a documentary about McDonald's. I'm like, I don't give a. But, like, with Diet Coke, like, whenever you see those videos of it, like, taking rust off a car, I'm like, okay, I don't need to have it in. In my body, but I love it so much. But anyway, so I'm trying to drink, like, ginger ale and, like, poppies, and I'm trying to just not drink a Diet Coke every day.

[Grace]

I feel like New Year's is weird for you because I feel like every week you have a resolution.

[Hannah]

I'm like this all year round. I mean, my new thing is.

[Grace]

Yeah, you're like. You guys are now trying to think of random shit to improve on. That's all I do. You love a list of, like, just.

[Hannah]

Having a. I love self improvement.

[Grace]

Yeah, but I think that self improvement's toxic. I said it. Okay, Sorry. I'm feeling sassy today.

[Hannah]

You want to know what? I can see that side. This is why we're friends. We have healthy debates, healthy discussions.

[Grace]

Yes, we do, because we've never agreed once.

[Hannah]

I can see that side. But one of my pet peeves is, like, wasted potential. Like, if I see someone and I'm like, oh, my God, if you just listened to me.

[Grace]

Are you talking about me?

[Hannah]

If you just listen to me, your whole life would be different. You'd be so much better. So I try and be self aware and take my own advice, and I'm like, wow, my life would be so much better if I just cut this out or if I did this or if I did that.

[Host/Announcer]

So.

[Hannah]

But yes, to your point, sometimes I can get too in the weeds.

[Grace]

Well, the reason we're both best friends is because I also hate when people don't fulfill their potential. It's my biggest fucking pet peeve. But I go about a different away.

[Hannah]

Why do we hate that so much?

[Grace]

Because I think we're millennials who were like, I think it's a millennial thing to be, like, be the greatest. You could be like, we, like, were raised on Mulan. Like, you have to save China.

[Hannah]

Be the great. But what is wrong with wanting to be the greatest? You can be?

[Grace]

Well, because sometimes it can hinder you. Like, I know that I put a lot of pressure on myself sometimes, and you as well. To the point that we are crippled.

[Hannah]

No, I mean, I can't function I'm like, I'm medicated.

[Grace]

Every.

[Hannah]

All my friends, every one I know is on zone.

[Grace]

I don't trust a friend who's not medicated. I'm like, you're raw dogging. She. She can't be trusted. I don't feel peace around her.

[Hannah]

When Sierra came home for Thanksgiving, the biggest takeaway from my. From my time spent with my very close friend was that she wanted me to be on more drugs.

[Grace]

She was like, I've seen what I need to see.

[Hannah]

She was like, we need to up.

[Grace]

A dose and she's a nurse. Like, that's a legit.

[Hannah]

She was like, I need doses upped with you.

[Grace]

That's a doctor's opinion. Also, shout out to. When I first met Sierra, I told her, I said, welcome to reality tv. Make sure you have an astrologer, a psychic and Prozac on call. And she laughed. And I said, that's so funny that you think I'm kidding with you.

[Hannah]

Check back in today. Check back.

[Grace]

No, she's sending me psychics. This bitch is sending me astrologist, actually. But what I was going to say in terms of fulfilling your potential.

[Hannah]

Yeah. I'm like, where did we start?

[Grace]

If you get too in the weeds of obsessing about getting better and you look at too much external things, sometimes you forget it's right here. You have. It's right here. You actually have it. The happiness. It's. It's you, it's you. Refined, finding yourself again. And it's not through all these external things. Even though I know you love a laser, you know what it is. You know there's not a laser involved. I'm not interested.

[Hannah]

I put a lot of pressure on myself too. But at my literal ripe age of 33, that voice in my head, though, is just my mom. You. You could be better. You could be doing more. And she doesn't even. She's not even like, like, that's my own. That's my own.

[Grace]

It was like, to work from, like, one thing she probably said when you were like nine.

[Hannah]

No, but I think it is, like, when I do half ass something, I do have my mom being like, you know, you could have done it better in my head. And I'm. That version is always right.

[Grace]

Since we're getting really deep already, I'm gonna say one more thing. Mental health moment. Do you know that there's the people that I'm most jealous of are people who they don't need to be in the arena. Like, they don't need to perform. Perform for People and performing comes in all shapes and forms. I'm not just talking comedy but like they actually just enjoy the world. They just enjoy life as it is. They just, they consume stuff, they, they have hobbies and, and that's all they want and that's all they need. And they're the only fucking fulfilled people in this planet. I swear to God.

[Hannah]

I' shout out to those people who I've met one person like that. These types of people also simultaneously don't have anxiety.

[Grace]

Like I. I think it's non neurod divergent people.

[Hannah]

The only person I know like this is my brother. I have like my brother genuinely. I don't think I've ever seen him get upset about anything. Like literally anything.

[Grace]

Which some people say he should, some people say he should.

[Hannah]

Some people would say he's asleep though. That's why he's not paying attention. He's actually asleep and he wasn't.

[Grace]

Maybe listen for once. I do say whenever I see a brother meme, I think of Gary.

[Hannah]

Yeah, everyone should think of Gary. But he genuinely never has anxiety about anything. And I'm like, what is that life?

[Grace]

That was like when my brother, he doesn't. They don't define it. Anxiety. My brother would be like, I just feel really weird today. I'm like, yeah, you're getting married. You're like a little, you feel. He's like, there's just. I think I have this like Sunny's on my stomach.

[Hannah]

That's a feeling. F, E E L I N G.

[Grace]

Can I have another hot take? Yeah. Have you seen the you trend on Tick Tock? No, it's basically girls, they all say fuck you to the camera and everyone's like, who said it best? And I don't know, I think it's happening in California and like the girls are all perfect. Like girls have never done anything wrong ever.

[Hannah]

However, this has not come across my desk.

[Host/Announcer]

I'm.

[Grace]

It's not hitting like a New York fuck you because the girls are all like, fuck you, fuck you.

[Hannah]

It's a, like, it's a challenge with your own friends. Like, it's multiple people in the videos.

[Grace]

The best. Fuck you.

[Hannah]

Okay, got it.

[Grace]

Now you earlier were joking and said fuck you. And I said that's, that's how you say fuck you. I don't know if I don't know what it is culturally, but I want to make sure the gigglers, if they ever find themselves in this position say it the right way. You can't be in a fight and suddenly drop a mid Fuck you.

[Hannah]

You did immediately take pen to paper and I delivered that. Fuck you. Let me write this down now.

[Grace]

The way I like to do it. I'm gonna put it on. Put it on now. By the way, I think I've rarely said fuck you. Maybe like once in like a rage. Road raid, road rage incident when I was in the backseat and just feeling.

[Hannah]

Frisky because you know so many different situations, you're not. I'm. When I say you 98 of the time, I'm not mad.

[Grace]

It's too much or it's to myself.

[Hannah]

I'm not even.

[Grace]

I'm happy. I know we do reality tv. I didn't say you on reality tv. You did. But, like, you did it well. Like, you did it justice. I just. I'm not a big fan you person, because I feel.

[Hannah]

Wait, well, you're not a big. You don't swear in general. Like, you rarely say, like, Where I. Which is so bad because my mom doesn't swear at all. But my dad, like, I mean.

[Grace]

And that's why I'm Kim's favorite.

[Hannah]

Yeah, it is.

[Grace]

Because she knows I'm a good influence on you. That's why Kim, like, she gets it. Can you give me your best. You. You have to get well.

[Hannah]

I have to get like.

[Grace]

Are you crying?

[Hannah]

You have to have heart, okay? You have to really think of something in your head and just be like you. Like, there has to be an emphasis of like, why don't you go yourself?

[Grace]

It sucks so good. You're so good.

[Hannah]

I can't believe I could. I threw that out at LaGuardia two weeks ago.

[Grace]

Like, now, not to be, you know, obsessed with technique. However you notice a lot of people say you. They. They go low to height. That's wrong. You saw Paige went side to side. She said, you. You. Okay. And the way I like to do it is I like to emphasize the full. Cuz you don't have to say fu. F is weak. You have to go, fuck you.

[Hannah]

Yes, you do.

[Grace]

Fuck. Fuck you.

[Hannah]

You do put an emphasis on the F you.

[Grace]

Because these girls are like, fuck you. Fuck. Fuck you.

[Hannah]

You got to put your teeth to your lips. They have to touch teeth to lips.

[Grace]

Fuck.

[Hannah]

You need a. A good fuck you. That was real.

[Host/Announcer]

That's important.

[Grace]

Fuck you. Oh, that was actually. I don't like it so loud. I want you to actually go loud, then soft. Ready? You.

[Hannah]

You. I gotta stop. My neighbors are gonna be like, is.

[Grace]

Everything okay, you guys? This is female rage. I feel like I just had three.

[Hannah]

Months of therapy Wait, speaking of female.

[Host/Announcer]

Rage.

[Hannah]

So many things. Where do you even start? Where do you even start? I had the most. 26, 16.

[Host/Announcer]

Day.

[Hannah]

And like, so last night I'm like, okay, I have to get up early tomorrow.

[Host/Announcer]

I have to go.

[Hannah]

I have a Daphne meeting all day. I'm going to be like at an office from like 9am to 5pm by.

[Grace]

The way, you're in charge. You could have moved it to 10. Like talk to the boss. You're complaining about when you chose to.

[Hannah]

Run through my brain. So Sunday night I'm like, I'm gonna shower, I'm gonna pick out my outfit for the next day at the office. Like, I'm so excited. I'm gonna look so cute. Like, I air dried my hair, so I'm gonna curl it in the morning.

[Grace]

You're so cute I could cry.

[Hannah]

Set my alarm for like 7:00am I'm gonna wake up, I'm gonna do my ice roll, my lymphatic. Like, I'm gonna do all my morning stuff. I'm like, so excited to just like be a girl in the morning. So excited for it.

[Grace]

Life is working.

[Hannah]

I wake up promptly at 5am okay, now look, I am no stranger to a vaginal issue, but I'm a UTI girl. That's what I know. It's what I can deal with. I wake up with a raging yeast infection.

[Grace]

I feel like your vagina is just like, can I have a day? Like, your vagina is so over your shit. We're all over it. My DMs are just full of stuff about your vagina.

[Hannah]

Vagina is the TikTok sound where it's like, I don't give a ratch. Damn.

[Grace]

Why are you so good at that accent?

[Hannah]

I spent a lot of time in the south anyway, so what was I saying?

[Grace]

You're saying you woke up with a yeast infection. So I wake up with a yeast.

[Hannah]

Infection and I'm like, I. Like, I have no, no idea how to tackle this. Like, I. This is, this is not my jurisdiction.

[Grace]

I'm in a pickle.

[Hannah]

Like, I have no idea. And I'm like, I have to get up in like two hours. Like, this is so annoying. So I like lay back in bed. I'm like, I'm like trying to figure out, like, do I don't have any monostat? Because I'm like, I don't have anything.

[Grace]

Yeah, you're cooking bread in your between your legs.

[Hannah]

I have to wait until any store opens to like, or get a monistat. So I like, wait till, like, 7:00am Get a monistat. Get a yogurt. Because I'm like, I don't freaking know. So then by that time, like, I'm awake. Like, I couldn't go back to sleep. Like, I'm awake.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

And I'm like, fudge it. Like, I can't do my makeup. I'm not curling my hair. Like, fuck this outfit. Like, I have felt so 2016 page. Like, I have to go to work in the morning and I have to be like, corporate. My biggest takeaway from the situation was as a UTI girl. I'm so much stronger than the yeast infection girls. I'm sorry. What you guys are dealing with is peanuts.

[Grace]

Literally.

[Hannah]

I would take a yeast infection every day of my life for the rest of my life than ever get a UTI again. Can you explain, first of all, a yeast infection. You literally can order something over the counter there from CVS immediately. And. And all you need is an ice pack.

[Host/Announcer]

You're good as new.

[Hannah]

I did a whole. I put in a full work day today. If that was a uti, would have fully taken me out for, like, the whole day.

[Grace]

Oh, my God. So you're asking anyway the universe to send you yeast infections instead of Things are going well.

[Hannah]

Instead of UTIs, I'm rebranding. Get with it.

[Grace]

And next time you guys have a yeast infection and you're being a little about it, say at least literally, suck it up.

[Hannah]

Suck it up, because patience feel bad for you. Child's play. Truly.

[Grace]

I just feel like a yeast infection needs to be rebranded. It's like, there's no way to nicely or, like, glamorously have a yeast infection. Uti, I feel like, sounds like science. Like, I'm like, I have a uti.

[Hannah]

Like, science.

[Grace]

Yeah, it's a UF ufo.

[Hannah]

Do you want to know what it is? I feel like, as we are of the generation where, like, as children, when boys talked about things that happened to girls, it was immediately deemed as, like, gross. Like, I feel like I remember the first time I heard about, like, a yeast infection. It was because, like, a guy fingered a girl and she had a yeast infection. Like, shut the up, you dweeb. Literally. And so I feel like we're the generation that changes, like, the stigma around, like, our vaginas.

[Grace]

I do also feel like you are so aware of your vagina. Like, sometimes I forget that she's there. I truly forget when she's there. Like, especially if I've been traveling, I haven't had sex in a while, and next thing. I'm like, oh, time to wake up, babe.

[Hannah]

I could pick mine out of a lineup. There she is. There she is. I put her through some shit, but she's okay. She's okay.

[Grace]

She's strong. She is strong.

[Hannah]

She is heart and character.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Hannah]

On ebay, every find has a story.

[Host/Announcer]

Like if you're looking for a vintage band tee.

[Hannah]

And not just any tee. The band tee from the last show your favorite band ever played. You wore it everywhere. Then maybe your boyfriend stole it. Or your girlfriend and they started wearing it, which was cute until they dumped you. Or unfriended you, which was not so cute. Anyway, now you're on ebay. And there it is.

[Host/Announcer]

The same tea from the same tour, still living in your memory.

[Hannah]

Rent free forever.

[Host/Announcer]

See, the things you love have a.

[Hannah]

Way of finding their way back to you. But ebay isn't just for getting whatever your ex stole back. It's also for the rare championship foul.

[Host/Announcer]

Ball you caught, then heroically gave to the kid next to you.

[Hannah]

And where else are you going to find your first car, the one you.

[Host/Announcer]

Wish you never sold, but now finally.

[Hannah]

Get a chance to get back home. For good this time.

[Host/Announcer]

Shop ebay for millions of finds, each with a story.

[Hannah]

Ebay Things People Love Coming off the holiday season, I've been trying to make better choices in the new year.

[Grace]

That makes one of us. No, I'm just kidding. I'm also trying to make good choices.

[Hannah]

But I'm still always in need of a soda moment. Like, I. I need a fizz. I. And there's certain foods that you eat where you're like, yeah, sorry, let me crack a cold one. It's a Chinese food. I love the poppy ginger fizz.

[Host/Announcer]

Mmm.

[Grace]

Also, you know me, I don't drink soda except poppy. I really love the orange cream. It's fun even as, like, a little dessert, like, after a long day.

[Hannah]

Can I also say, when you open your refrigerant, like, if someone comes over and you're like, oh, my God, can I get you a drink? And they're like, yeah, sure. And you open it and you have, like, all different poppies. Watch the person get so excited. I literally, I'm Martha Stewart. I'm like, I have every poppy flavor.

[Grace]

You can ever color cord them.

[Hannah]

And don't get me started when they match my outfit. And then we.

[Host/Announcer]

And then we're done.

[Hannah]

It's also perfect if you're trying to do dry January or if you just need, like a reset.

[Grace]

Have a fun drink, have a poppy and feel better.

[Hannah]

Find poppy at your nearest retailer or get it delivered straight to your door on Amazon. Poppy sodas back, but so much better.

[Sponsor Voice]

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[Grace]

I don't know if I told you guys, I might have told you, but I. We love telling you what happens behind the scenes. And I went on, I did Kelly Clarkson. Yeah, that's how you did call Clarkson like a couple weeks ago, and everything was going great. Get my period, like backstage. And by the way, backstage of a talk show is.

[Hannah]

So if any guy listened to our. Our podcast for the first time ever, just today, they'd be like, all they do is talk about their vagina.

[Grace]

They're pussies. That's all I talk about. Does all girl podcasters talk about their pussies? How much they think men are dumb and they make these voices for men? It doesn't even make sense. So behind when you. Okay, long story short, when you're backstage that you don't have a. In your green room, you don't have a bathroom. Yeah, it's like, go into a hallway. And by the way, I'm with, like, people doing glam. I'm with a photographer. I'm with a stylist. I'm with a manager. So I have to subtly, subtly be like, oh, I'm gonna go check on myself. And then, you know when it's, like, it's. It started to flow, and I had, like, diarrhea because of.

[Hannah]

I love that you, like, whispered because of the period. No, we're gonna hear it. It's a podcast.

[Grace]

But I didn't want to tell. Like, I was like, yeah, I'm on my period, but you don't want to be like, I'm on my period with diarrhea. So anyway, I get back, and the girl stylist, she had to tuck in my shirt and didn't want it to, like, untuck. So she starts taking these pins and pinning my skirt to my top. In my head, I know I'm about to go to the bathroom 400 more times before I get on stage. On stage or whatever they call it. So I keep having to undo the. It was a nightmare. And then in the bathroom, I guess it was earlier that day or later that day, something happened, and I used a cardboard tampon, which.

[Hannah]

Wait, you told me this story?

[Grace]

I told you. Well, I also posted about it. Did we talk about cardboard tampons?

[Hannah]

I feel like we did.

[Grace]

Well, I just want to say, anyone using cardboard tampons stay strong, because that's how true characters build.

[Hannah]

No, it really is. I don't use tampons anymore.

[Grace]

Yeah, you.

[Hannah]

Not a thing that I do.

[Grace]

The rosary.

[Hannah]

Not a thing that I do. Not a thing that I care about. What I do care about is. Actually, I have a lot of hot takes today. Not hot takes. I just have.

[Host/Announcer]

I have pop culture takes.

[Grace]

Let's get into hip hop culture.

[Hannah]

Foaming at the mouth to pop culture.

[Grace]

Let's go. Give it to me.

[Hannah]

If you are someone on the Internet that's saying a negative thing towards Alex Earl for going after Tom Brady, but you have not said a negative thing about Tom Brady going after Alex Earl. I don't align with you. I have nothing in common with you.

[Grace]

Wait, I didn't see any. I didn't see anything about. I didn't see any of this.

[Hannah]

Because Tom Brady and Alex are overspotted together in St. Barts over New Year's People were, like, up in her comments. And she's a girl. She's Gen Z. So, like, they're posting TikToks every single day, real time. Like, her true, true fans know what she's doing every single day. And so for her to not post, that's, like, unusual for them.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So she. When she posted and, like, the pictures were coming out, people were in her comments, being like, you're like a. What's it called? Not a clout chaser, but like a cloud chaser. No, you're a social climber and blah, blah, blah, and all this stuff. Like, you just broke up with your boyfriend. Like, blah, blah, blah. Obviously, Alex is the one that broke up with Braxton.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

So she wasn't injured. She didn't need time to heal. Like, she could go get a new. Like, I don't get that whole. I do not get the whole narrative of people being like, you didn't wait long enough. I wasn't injured. I literally do not have an injury. I did not need healing time. I was good to go.

[Grace]

Like, also, she did not see that man for six months. Yeah.

[Hannah]

Obviously they had broken up way before then, whatever they may have.

[Grace]

And also, in general, I'm not speaking for anyone, but in terms of. Especially me, by the time I break up with a man, I've already gone through that breakup over the last six months of how I'm going to. You're so done by the time you actually force yourself to be like, I can't grow mentally.

[Hannah]

We told you, do stuff on a way. Do it. Now we're exiting. Like, see, we're smart.

[Grace]

So I did see. I did see, like, a controversial TikTok, though it could be totally made up, but about how her and Tom may have known each other before. Did you see that?

[Hannah]

I didn't.

[Grace]

So Tom Brady, to get into sports, played for the Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Now, I'm not super knowledgeable about Florida, but Tampa Bay is close to Miami.

[Hannah]

Wait a minute, wait a minute.

[Grace]

She went to University of Miami.

[Hannah]

Wait a minute. You're saying that there is a rumor that they could have been, like, known each other when she was in college.

[Grace]

So when she was in college, she had said on her podcast at some point that she had a relationship with a guy who was 20 years older than her, but, like, never said who he was and then ended up dating Braxton. Whatever. So then people are trying to be like, is this the guy? Because, like, they just seem so familiar with each other. Yeah.

[Host/Announcer]

Okay.

[Grace]

I'm just spreading pure gossip that's pure gossip.

[Hannah]

We just made that up.

[Grace]

We're literally starting rumors about 22 year old Alex Earl. I'm so sorry, but I know I'm adding color.

[Hannah]

So mad for her. I'm like, she's a young girl, she's on vacation with a bunch of her friends. She's like, why would she, why would it be her fault for being home.

[Grace]

And cry about a guy named Braxton?

[Hannah]

Like who gives a. He's also fine. It very clearly seems like they had like a normal breakup. Like no one's gone on the Internet and talked badly about the other one. Like what a blessing.

[Grace]

Yeah, good for you.

[Hannah]

Who cares? Also sorry, I just like if you're Tom Brady, what the are you doing? What are you doing?

[Grace]

This is took a turn. This has took a turn. The turntables have turned.

[Hannah]

She is a 25 year old girl.

[Host/Announcer]

You have. She's closer to your kids age than your ex wife's age.

[Hannah]

And how people aren't being like, oh. People are like, oh, Alex is using him for like some type of fame. He clearly knows who Alex Earl is. If he was like a normal 50 year old guy who was retired and on the on TV every week, he.

[Host/Announcer]

Would be dating low key.

[Hannah]

No, he wouldn't be with the number one influencer in the fucking world. So how people aren't saying that about him. Like he's clout chasing like obviously Tom Brady is so famous. But I'm sorry, Alex Earl is pretty famous for like here and now for her demo.

[Grace]

They know who she is over Tom Brady a bazillion times over.

[Hannah]

I just think it's so, I'm so over like the narrative that men can do whatever they want at any age and women can't do whatever they want at any age. Like she's getting hated on because she's too.

[Grace]

But the truth is it's like, I'm sorry, If I was 50 years old, I wouldn't want to be at like a random party with a DJ with influencers around me. That's just not my idea of a good time. But if that is what brings him joy, I mean that's. She's 25. Like that's what you do. But like by that age some girl.

[Hannah]

Said on Tick Tock this was like, this was like weeks ago. This wasn't even in pertaining to this at all. Sometimes I'm on like Catch a Predator, like pedophile side of TikTok and then it gets really intense and I'm like.

[Grace]

Yeah, you have to get off and.

[Hannah]

This girl was saying, as you get older, if you don't find things about the person your age and older attractive and you find younger, like, sorry, that's like a little. That's like, strange.

[Grace]

Well, that's part of growing up, you know, like, you used to like, boys who wore their hair backwards and, like, didn't have a beard when you were like 13. And then one day you wake up and you're like, I want a guy who has a chiseled jaw and a beard. It's just part of growing up.

[Hannah]

Now I'm like, salt and pepper. Gray hair.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, I'm obsessed.

[Grace]

I mean, don't get me going, girl.

[Hannah]

Don't get me going, nursing home.

[Grace]

Like, get a gray hair guy going.

[Host/Announcer]

Get.

[Grace]

Get a gray hair guy.

[Hannah]

Get a gray hair guy going.

[Grace]

Don't make us start that segment.

[Hannah]

Don't make us start that segment.

[Grace]

But what I was saying is for all the girls out there who are getting older and are worried about, like, guys liking younger girls, I have a theory. Yeah. The same dudes who are like 45 hitting on 23 year olds are the same dudes that are like, I want to go hang out with my guy friends at a strip club and look at girls who don't actually want to fuck me. Like, that's the same category of guy that, like, they're creepy. They're just creepy, misogynistic dudes.

[Hannah]

I just. This is a perfect example of, like, this is a situation or like a society norm that I think so differently of now that I'm in my 30s than when I was in my 20s. In my 20s, I was like, yeah, of course. Like, guys just like, can live like that. Like, they can marry a 25 year old when they're 40.

[Grace]

Well, like, think about what you talk to a 22 year old about, like, Snapchat. What are you listening to? I don't know.

[Hannah]

And not. I'm obviously not on the girl's part because the majority of women are just like, we're emotionally more intelligent.

[Grace]

Yes. But still, under 26, your brain is not fully formed, and that's why it's not cool.

[Hannah]

Anyway, my next pop culture thing that I would love to talk about is Timothee Chalamet getting up on the stage.

[Host/Announcer]

Okay.

[Hannah]

And. And telling the world that. Well, I didn't love that. He was like, it was so corporate, like partner and foundation. But, like, the message was there. The message was there. I wanted to be like, of all the speeches you've given this, these are the words you've Picked for this one.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I love when a man is like, this is my girlfriend, and I'm obsessed with her.

[Host/Announcer]

And she.

[Hannah]

These are all the reasons I love it. Screaming.

[Grace]

I love that too, because it's kind of like the elephant in the room. Not that she looks like an elephant at all. She's snatched, but that Kylie Jenner is in the room because Kylie Jenner is richer than, like, a lot of the people in that room.

[Hannah]

Kylie Jenner is actually gonna buy this event and then host it next year. Like, fuck you.

[Grace]

But it's also, like, kind of cute of Kylie. Like, she really steps back and lets her man. Like, she wears these just, like, black dresses.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Grace]

She lets him just have his moment. She could come in there and fucking take over if she felt like it. Like. Like, Kim K would be like, sit down. I'm the party.

[Hannah]

Yeah. No, I think she seems so supportive and sweet.

[Grace]

She's. And she's letting him have his moment. So for him to then reciprocate like that, because it is true, you are a part in a partnership at that point when you guys are in such, like, a public eye, like, you have to be, like, a business partnership. Yeah, in a way.

[Hannah]

Totally.

[Grace]

But I like that. Can we discuss Meg Stalter's outfit?

[Hannah]

I mean, with Paul Daddy from Hags, a comedic genius.

[Grace]

When they showed up like that, I said, game over. I've seen what I need to see. I. I didn't have to watch anything else. It was also. What's crazy about that is Kylie and him are at the event that you're making fun of him. That's so iconic.

[Hannah]

And I feel like also they are a good couple where they would laugh, you know? Like, you know, there's obvious. I think there's definitely, like, for sure Hollywood couples that would be like, that's so rude.

[Grace]

No, that was. That was iconic. The thing with Meg, though, is, like, I think she was trying to make it, like, look at us. Like, we're so silly and goofy, but, like, Meg ate. Like, Meg looked gorgeous. Like, stunning in every way. Her makeup, everything looked incredible.

[Hannah]

Did you know that Uber did Uber wrapped?

[Grace]

Grace, like, said something to me about that. And I was like, this didn't come across my desk.

[Host/Announcer]

Okay.

[Hannah]

Just so Gen Z knows about it, because Josephine told me about it. She was like, do you know that.

[Host/Announcer]

They did Uber wrapped?

[Hannah]

Let me show you. Yours, like, had to get.

[Grace]

How could she see yours?

[Hannah]

Well, she had to get to. I was like, how do you do it? And she was like, I just got.

[Grace]

So scared that it was public. I was like, oh, my God. Alert the police. Alert the police.

[Hannah]

It's on everyone's LinkedIn automatically. What are you talking about? So she goes on my phone and, like, gets to where it is and shows me. It's aggressive. It's egregious. It's so attacking. It's one of the best things I've ever seen in my life.

[Grace]

What kind of data?

[Hannah]

How many times you. Oh, Then it brings you over to Uber Eats.

[Host/Announcer]

It goes, now let's do Uber Eats.

[Hannah]

How many rides you took, how many different places you went, how many restaurants you ordered from. And then it pinpoints a clear item that is your favorite that you ordered the majority of. Do you want to guess mine?

[Grace]

This is why I reacted like that. Oh.

[Hannah]

It'S a type of food, and it.

[Grace]

It's McDonald's.

[Hannah]

No, it's not a brand or anything. It's like a pasta. No.

[Grace]

Okay. Italians are upset.

[Hannah]

I was actually, like, a little shocked by French fries.

[Host/Announcer]

No.

[Grace]

Caesar.

[Hannah]

No.

[Host/Announcer]

No.

[Hannah]

I feel like you're gonna be like, Chinese.

[Grace]

Chinese.

[Hannah]

No.

[Grace]

No. But you ordered that on the phone.

[Hannah]

Yeah, I ordered that.

[Grace]

Could be. What is it?

[Host/Announcer]

A cheeseburger.

[Grace]

I was gonna say a cheeseburger, but I thought never.

[Hannah]

I never would have guessed that for myself.

[Grace]

You know, that's my favorite food.

[Hannah]

But now I'm like, wait, I do. I do be at home.

[Grace]

Just good source of protein.

[Hannah]

Just ordering cheese.

[Grace]

What do you. What do you get? What do you get on it?

[Hannah]

All different stuff. You can't put me in a box.

[Grace]

What do you dress it with? How do you style your cheeseburger? How do you outfit it?

[Hannah]

How do you accessorize that penne vodka?

[Grace]

I have to look at mine. And we're back. My thing is, I. I get, like, hyper fixated on meals. So, like, I already could tell you, like, I'll do the same meal for, like, three months. It's like, not.

[Hannah]

No, that same. I order the same cheeseburger from Five Napkin Burger.

[Grace]

Well, it's like, if it works, it works. Yeah.

[Hannah]

Like, I'm not inventing. Reinventing the wheel.

[Grace]

Why would you try a different place's Penny Al Vodka when you don't want to risk it going bad? Also, you know when you order from a place so much that when something's slightly different, you're like, he made this wrong. Yeah.

[Hannah]

No, when you get, like, a bad. Like, that will make me not order from a place again. And, like, it was.

[Grace]

But even if it's, like, not bad, but it's like, oh, normally there's three pieces of lettuce, and I put two this week. Okay, interesting. Wait, can I say one more hot take about Alex Earl? Yeah, it's not really about Alex Earl, but in general. St. Barts, everyone on the yachts.

[Host/Announcer]

Yeah.

[Grace]

Hot take about yachts. My nightmare, really. A yacht is my biggest phobia. To be stuck on a party in the middle of the ocean that you can't leave. No, thank you. Like, no, thank you. And I know there's, like, rooms in it, but, like, again, you know, when you see. Be out of that energy. Like, you're like, I don't want to hear people. I don't want to see people. I don't like my outfit. I don't like who I am with these people. I need to remove myself. I've embarrassed myself. I need to go. That's how I end my parties.

[Hannah]

That's how I ended my 20s. Like, I was like, I'm a bad person when I'm around you. I have to go. No more normal telling people straight to their face when they've made you worse.

[Grace]

I don't feel like my best self in this situation. I want to go to be on a boat. No. I guess maybe I've also watched, like, too many.

[Hannah]

Here's the thing. You've watched so many. I was just gonna say, like, you're not gonna get pushed off. Here's what I'll say when you break it down.

[Grace]

Connoisseur it is.

[Hannah]

Yes. It's our worst nightmare. Being stranded anywhere and not being able to, like, get a car and go.

[Grace]

You can't Uber eats.

[Hannah]

Except I feel like yachts are so. What's the word I'm looking for? So exclusive. And it's so, like.

[Host/Announcer]

Right?

[Hannah]

Like, not everyone just, like, has a yacht that when you're curating a group of people to, like, go on vacation with, it's a. It's a big trip. Like, you want to be around them. I would say, I don't know. Like, if me and you went on a yacht.

[Grace]

Super rich people freak me out. Super rich people scare me. I don't know what kind of demonic stuff they're doing. I also. There's men around sometimes. When there's yachts, there's men. I don't know. So, like, imagine your friends, like, hey, let's go in this guy's yacht. That's how it always starts. Because women don't need a yacht. Like, no woman has a small dick to be like, I need a yacht.

[Hannah]

I was just gonna say, do you want to know who loves rich people the most. Like, rich men.

[Grace]

Other rich men.

[Hannah]

I was gonna say not as rich men.

[Grace]

Like, if you have ever. They're all showing off for each other.

[Hannah]

Have you ever. Like, that's why it's so crazy that women get the gold digging, like, stereotype. One of my favorite hobby hobbies is watching men be in a conversation with a man that they want to be like, like, or want to be. And it usually is like, people like people that aren't as rich as, like, the other per. And it's very fascinating. And I'm like, kiss.

[Grace]

Because the men have their own hierarchies. Yeah. They're literally flirting with rich guys.

[Hannah]

Men love impressing each other.

[Grace]

Well, it's like when a man meets an athlete and they're just like. So, like, I actually hurt my knee too.

[Host/Announcer]

Nope.

[Grace]

Once.

[Host/Announcer]

Hannah.

[Hannah]

So I got into, like, a little bit of a debate. I'm an ally, so, like, I'm gonna stand up for, like, what I believe. And I explained to. To some men, allegedly, I said, hey, let's do an exercise. Let's do. Let's think up of a hypothetical situation. And the hypothetical situation is, we are.

[Host/Announcer]

At a Broadway play.

[Hannah]

We're watching. Go with me on this. We're watching a Broadway play. The two stars of the Broadway play, both men, the play is over. They're bowing. They're saying, oh, my God, We. We finished the play. Both stars of the play look at each other. And they said, you did a great job. And the other one says, no, you.

[Host/Announcer]

Did a great job.

[Hannah]

They said, let's take our shirts off. They proceed to take their shirts off and exchange shirts because they did a good job during the play.

[Grace]

Is this a made up scenario?

[Hannah]

Yes, this is a hypothetical.

[Grace]

Okay.

[Hannah]

I looked at the men, and I.

[Grace]

Said, is this season two of heated rivalry? What are you explaining?

[Hannah]

I go, in that situation. Wouldn't you say, wow, that's a little gay. But that's okay. But because those are two gay men on Broadway telling each other they did a good job at the play. Now all of a sudden, if we're at Giant Stadium, it's not gay anymore. And let me tell you, I offended people. Like.

[Host/Announcer]

Wait.

[Grace]

But my thing is, I've never seen the end of a play, two men. Like, that's. No, but I'm saying it's too gay.

[Hannah]

For a play because this is an outfit. Get the from me.

[Grace]

Like, gay men would be, like, switching outfits. It doesn't match my pants.

[Hannah]

No.

[Grace]

100% valid. Which all things go back to the same thing, which is heated rivalry and I'm trying to move on but I can't. But yeah, with the odds, I don't like it. Imagine if something happens. Imagine if someone's following you.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Hannah]

Honey.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Hannah]

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[Host/Announcer]

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[Hannah]

That's how calm I feel.

[Host/Announcer]

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[Hannah]

I don't want to name drop. I don't want to do this. But I did get a DM from someone on heated rivalry Stop. And my whole life changed after. And all I saw the follow come in and I immediately clicked follow back. And then I sent the first DM and I just said I'm obsessed with you.

[Grace]

You never send the first dm.

[Host/Announcer]

Never.

[Hannah]

And I was like, wait, so what's.

[Grace]

The lore like are like?

[Hannah]

It was kip and I was just like obsessed. Like, I'm waiting for your story. Like I'm logged in on your story. So anyway, it was the best day ever.

[Grace]

Do we need kip on the pod to get a gay going for like our first get a gay going?

[Hannah]

We need kip on the pod.

[Grace]

That might be iconic. Okay, we'll see what we could do administratively to make this work. Wait, I'm obsessed with that.

[Hannah]

I was really sorry about it.

[Grace]

It is also kind of awkward that they're doing all the award shows, but he did. Rivalry isn't nominated because it's, like, Made in Canada, and I'm like, no, I know.

[Hannah]

Oh, I didn't even think of that. I thought you were gonna say because it, like, missed award season because it just came out.

[Grace]

Wait, no, I guess it has to be, like, international or some.

[Hannah]

I don't know.

[Grace]

But it's. Yeah, it's not nominated for anything, which is like.

[Hannah]

But, like, we're practically Canadian.

[Grace]

No, I know. We touch Canada.

[Hannah]

Ah, wait. That makes me so upset.

[Grace]

Yeah, we have to write large of the academy because it's kind of like.

[Hannah]

My favorite ever vintage store I've ever been to is in Canada. I can't remember the name of it. Somebody knows, though. I'll put it in the newsletter. Actually, I bought so many things from there.

[Grace]

Wait, can I make fun of men one more time?

[Hannah]

I mean, we built a whole career on it. Hannah.

[Grace]

Yes. Des made me watch True Detective.

[Hannah]

It's so good.

[Grace]

Okay, it's good, but, like, it's for men because, like, there's a scene where Matthew McConaughey goes into a bar, and there's two, like, strong men, and he, like, says something and then beats them both up and then comes back in the car, and I'm sitting there, and I go, oh, that's your guy's version of porn. Like, that's like. We watch red carpets. You watch Matthew McConaughey beat up two men? Because I'm like, by the way, there's no way Matthew McConaughey could just walk in and beat up two men who are younger than him and stronger than him. But, like, men love that because they think they are Matthew McConaughey. And, like, wouldn't it be sick if I took on two men and beat them up? Also didn't even kill them. And they're just laying on the ground. Like, it just. It doesn't make. I don't want to be a part of their, like, weird fantasies.

[Hannah]

Men love movies. If there's a tank in it. Any kind of tank, Any type of tank carrying any. Some type of vessel. They love a movie based on, like, a vessel.

[Grace]

Mm. They love, like, metal.

[Hannah]

They love a past war or a futuristic war.

[Grace]

Yeah, yeah. And they love, like, a mystery that, like, you know the guy's gonna solve it. Like, you just know that he's gonna Solve it. But he has some problems at home. His family's falling apart at home. But he will figure out the murder. And like, he did cheat on his wife with a very beautiful 19 year old. And he. And he's dealing with the difficulties.

[Hannah]

He's blindsided by his wife who left 17 years ago.

[Host/Announcer]

No.

[Hannah]

If I had a nickel. Okay, not only, like, did I have. I dated so many gay men, but if I had a nickel for the amount of men that are like, that have said to me, like, yeah, I was cheated on in college. And like, that's why at 34, like, I just.

[Grace]

No one can get cheated on in college. It's not a thing. No one actually dates in college. It's made up. Dating is college. You're welcome. You're welcome.

[Hannah]

As an adult, honestly, like before 30, like, I don't fucking know you. I literally don't care about you. Like, I never cared. I don't care. Goodbye, college. I don't even remember.

[Grace]

No, everyone's blackout. Nothing counts in college.

[Hannah]

You know what's crazy is though, like, that is where the majority, I feel like, of people. Well, actually now in the year 2026, I think there's like a statistic that the majority of people get married, whatever the age used to be. It's like five years after that age or something. I want to say it's like 32 is like the average age. But I feel like when we were in college, I feel like there's so many people I know that like, they met in college and now they're married.

[Grace]

Especially if they weren't in a like, big city. It was like, that's college is where you meet people. You can't go back to your small town. You've already hooked up with everyone in that town.

[Hannah]

I've already told everyone here to fuck off. I can't, I can't go back.

[Grace]

No, it. Oh, also another man who's going through a hard time, which I think is important to me.

[Hannah]

Yeah, no, we really have to highlight these situations.

[Grace]

We have to highlight male stories. Have you heard of Ryan Lochte? Wait. This is our segment, Male men's stories.

[Hannah]

Male stories today.

[Grace]

Have you heard. Do you know who Ryan Lochte?

[Host/Announcer]

Of course.

[Grace]

Well, he's like the really hot Olympian who like, had a reading level of a like 7 year old, but everyone was like, we love.

[Hannah]

He was like, he was the Gronk of swimming.

[Sponsor Voice]

Yes.

[Grace]

And like, he couldn't spell his own.

[Hannah]

Name, but he was like, fine. He was a good personality.

[Grace]

He like. Yeah, he bleached his hair? Yeah, he bleached his hair one year. Everyone's like, this guy's great. Yeah, he's since gone downhill, but it happens with. Not to. Okay, not to, like, stereotype, but as an Olympian. It's Olympian athletes, but specifically Olympians. A lot of these sports, like, it's not sustainable to make money unless you're in the Olympics, which is every four years, and you have to be, like, number one to get sponsorships. So anyway, he kind of falls off. He's now selling his medals.

[Hannah]

No, wait, that makes me sad.

[Grace]

So if anyone wants Ryan Lochte's medals. Wait, I feel like another.

[Hannah]

What happened? What happened after, though?

[Grace]

I love how I didn't remember the details of how he got there, but went down. Like, he has long hair now.

[Hannah]

I think you're like, All I know is he cut bangs and, like, it's not good.

[Grace]

He's over his hair.

[Hannah]

I do think if, like, did he do drugs? Was he married? Did he get a divorce? Like, did he just, like, jump out of the water after the last medal and, like, just never thought about paying taxes again? Like, what happened?

[Grace]

Good question. Definitely divorce.

[Host/Announcer]

Okay.

[Grace]

Definitely divorce. He did appear on reality tv. That will do it.

[Hannah]

That'll do it. He's close. Crack the code on this one. He'll be better in about 8 to 7, 8 to 10. Business years.

[Grace]

Business years. He also did seek treatment for alcoholism in 2018, which we love. And then he also had a near fatal car crash.

[Host/Announcer]

Oh, Jesus.

[Grace]

In 2023. So Ryan Lochte has been through it. Pray to St. Anthony.

[Hannah]

Wait, what year would that have been? That he was like, the hotel thing. Like, 2010 Rio was.

[Grace]

Oh, okay. It started in 2026 at Rio. 2020, named. Sorry, 2016. 2016, the Rio Olympics. There was all this drama because he claimed he was robbed at gunpoint. And there was, like, all this. I guess he. I don't. I'm not getting into details. It was very complicated. But he had an altercation. It didn't go well. Oh, and he got sued for foreclosure of his home. I don't know, but, like, there's stuff going on, basically. Look, you guys many help, and they need us to support them.

[Hannah]

Speaking of the male loneliness epidemic, I. This girl was talking about. I was just gonna say on tv. No, I literally don't see anything on tv. This girl on Tick Tock was talking about how the men are so good at, like, marketing things. Like, they take all of our stuff. Stuff like Short King, and they just, like, remarket it where, like, getting lip filler and, like, Botox and they call it look maxing. Going on a diet. They call it, like, biohacking. And she was, like, talking about the male loneliness epidemic, and she was like, what if there are that many single men? Like, there's. We're single, too. Like, the women are also single, but.

[Grace]

We'Re not saying we're lonely.

[Hannah]

So, like, like, what constitute loneliness? Like, just not having sex. And so she was like, you guys.

[Host/Announcer]

Don'T have a lonely problem.

[Hannah]

You have, like, a. Girls don't want to sleep with you. That's the problem. Why don't they want to sleep with you?

[Grace]

Well, I would say one further that some of them hate women, and that's why we exist, to make sure that it stays that way. Do. Also adding to the male loneliness epidemic. Not trying to, like, solve any problems here, because we can't. But sports betting, I think, is, like, taking down the men.

[Hannah]

Wait.

[Grace]

And no one's talking about it.

[Hannah]

Sometimes I'm like, I have, like, my niche girl things. And I'm like, guys just, like, wouldn't get it. And then I forget that there's, like, niche guy things.

[Grace]

Yeah.

[Hannah]

I had no idea all the men were running home at night and putting their house up for sale.

[Grace]

Like, no one's talking about it. Men are out here, like, putting the refrigerators up, like, just dropping cash. And so basically, you can bet on anything. Like, you can bet, like, this guy's going to dribble three times before he shoots a foul shot. Like, you can bet these hockey guys are going to make out after they fight. Like, you can literally be. It's like us betting on reality TV being like, Luann's going to, like, kick.

[Hannah]

That's crazy.

[Grace]

Sports betting platforms get these celebs, like, you know, Kevin Hart and just, like, big cool. It's a job just being. It's a literal drug. Also, the house always wins. And also, these men are not making enough money to begin with to be betting. And I'm sorry, one thing that will piss me off about my husband is you spending your money by betting on other men who were more athletic than you. You could. You could. You weren't good enough to play, and you weren't good enough to win the bat. What do I have to work with here? God, you're a loser.

[Hannah]

No, I really. I had no idea it was as big of an episode because they don't.

[Grace]

Talk about it with us. But then it's like, they think it's. It's honestly smoking for men. Like, you know how, like, when someone's smoking, it's like, yeah, it's bad and it's killing us, but, like, we're cool. That's how they feel. Like, you don't bet, bro. You know, I bet like, I'm a bad boy. I'm betting. I'm betting. And they start you off with, like, a hundred dollars for free. And next.

[Hannah]

You know, I've never dated a guy that's bet like that, like that. And I've never dated someone that was, like, super into video games. And those are, like, two really big things that I feel like women are, like, complaining about a lot where they're like, it's unhinged behavior.

[Grace]

Yeah. Like, my one note about Taylor and Travis, who I love, is that I know Travis is addicted to video games in a way. I don't know if he's addicted, but he plays a lot of it, and I think he should just be sitting down listening to Taylor play guitar all day. I've. I've messed with guys, like, in college where, like, you go to his dorm room, and there's, like, eight guys playing video games. You're, like, sitting there, but you don't know any better, so you're like, wait.

[Hannah]

I've, like, never experienced that. I feel like I missed out on, like, a major part of, like, getting annoyed as a woman. Nobody feel like it. Built character.

[Grace]

I've done, like, a guy being like, please come over. Please come over. Please come over. And then he's playing, like, the gun game with his friends, and, like, I don't want to play because I don't want to play a game that I don't know how to play, and I'm not going to win. So I'm like, I'm not going to play. Or they're playing FIFA, and then they're, like, trying to talk to you about it. I'm like, I don't hear about your imaginary game of pretending you're other men on a field. I don't want to hear about this. And. But a lot of men get addicted to these things, and a lot of.

[Hannah]

Competitive acts like it.

[Grace]

Well, Andy Murray, who I love, who's a really great tennis player who just retired, is with this, like, gorgeous woman at the top of his career. She was like, I'm going to divorce him because he's addicted to video games. Because these men, all they want to do is compete.

[Hannah]

Okay, but I will say something, and this actually is a little bit in favor of the men. I do feel really bad for a lot of Professional athletes, women included. But I do feel really bad for a lot of professional athletes, because doing something every single day for your entire life, and then one day, not only can you not do it, you can't do any of it. Like, you have to completely pivot the mental stress that must be for guys that have been in, like, played tennis and, like, golf and whatever, like, since they were children, to them being like, okay, go be a real estate agent now. Like, like, oh, I couldn't imagine the girls.

[Grace]

It's, like, really fucked up. But I know some of the guys I'd see, like, in college, like, they were, like, famous. Like, the quarterback at Wisconsin would be on ESPN every weekend and he'd walk around campus and everyone was like, he's famous. And this was before they got PA paid. They didn't get paid when I was there. Nowadays, they get paid.

[Hannah]

I'm sure there's.

[Grace]

So then afterwards, a lot of men.

[Hannah]

With mental health, like, in this exact situation, why don't they talk about it at all?

[Grace]

I think that there's, like, they're putting them in some, like, kind of rehab programs. Like, how to. How to. It's literally try to get back into reality, like, how to be a normal person.

[Hannah]

Not that far off from, like, leaving reality tv. It's like, any regular people, normal people.

[Grace]

That have friends slowly acclimate to, like, what people are like. I mean, I only played Till I was 21, but, like, that's why I'm a little weird, because that's all I knew.

[Hannah]

Yeah.

[Grace]

Like, socializing was not my number one, like, socializing. I was like, I have a tennis match. Like, yeah, I feel like you were like, and this is my art form.

[Hannah]

I literally, when I met you, I was ready to retire. I was like. I was like, I've socialized everywhere, onto every foreign land. I've socialized. Like, I've done it all. So that's why I think it's so funny being off somewhere else where they're like, you never got out of bed. And it's like, sorry, because I partied from 17 years old. I was 10 years into it.

[Grace]

I never party. And they're like, hey, it's 3:00am Go dance. And I'm like, I know. I'm scared. I my mom to pick me up. I don't like this at all. And that's why I don't want to go on a yacht.

[Hannah]

See, I want to go on a yacht, but just with us.

[Grace]

Oh, yeah, for sure. But also, I know you. And after, like, six hours, you're going to be like, I want to go home. How long are you staying on this yacht?

[Hannah]

You don't know me that well. I love luxury.

[Grace]

Okay, You guys, this is our first week. We're doing two episodes, so look out for us. I. I think it's coming out Friday.

[Hannah]

That's what Grace said.

[Grace]

That's what Gray said. We're not in control of this stuff. Set your alarm clock. We don't know when on Friday, though, so just like, we're gonna surprise you. We love you guys so much. Thank you for giggling.

[Sponsor Voice]

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