Hope Deferred Makes the Heart Sick | Girls Gone Bible

Summary

Girls Gone Bible – "Hope Deferred Makes the Heart Sick" (May 8, 2026)
Podcast hosted by Angela Halili and Arielle Reitsma

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Episode Overview

This episode centers around the biblical proverb "Hope deferred makes the heart sick" (Proverbs 13:12), and explores how delays and unmet desires can lead to emotional, spiritual, and even physical heaviness. Angela and Arielle discuss their personal experiences with seasons of waiting, how those seasons have shaped their faith, and the importance of remaining joyful, faithful, and present in the face of deferred hope. The conversation is candid, warmly humorous, and deeply rooted in the realities of walking with God through longing, disappointment, and growth.

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. The Reality of Hope Deferred (21:32)

• Scripture Basis: Proverbs 13:12, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick."
• Arielle: Opens up about how waiting for desires (like marriage) can create both emotional and physical heaviness. Reflects on a difficult season when everything was taken from her and the waiting literally "manifested physically" (22:30).
• Angela: Discusses how Christian conversations about waiting often skip the honest, painful feelings deferred hope brings—bitterness, discouragement, numbness.

“When what you’re hoping for keeps getting delayed, it can actually make your heart feel heavy, discouraged—even numb.” – Arielle (21:32)

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2. Personal Stories: Dreams, Longing, and Peace (17:55)

• Ari’s Hummingbird Story: Ari shares her dream about a hummingbird (symbolizing peace and the Holy Spirit) that brought her comfort during anxiety (18:00–20:20). This dream illustrated God's intimate care, reaffirmed when a real hummingbird visited her window regularly.
• Romanticizing Life: Angela commends Ari’s ability to find joy and beauty in small things, even in singleness and waiting (21:09).

“I talked to her about my bird. I named him Shalom.” – Ari (20:06)
“You’re also so good at romanticizing life…except men.” – Angela (21:09)

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3. Longing for a Relationship vs. Contentment in Singleness (11:19, 17:21)

• Both express the ache for strong, godly men, but challenge the tendency to center their lives around romantic relationships.
• Decentering Men: Angela discusses so-called "decentering men,” i.e., not making relationships the center of one’s life (11:32). Ari claims she’s grown comfortable being alone, but misses companionship at times.
• Godly Desire: The hosts remind listeners it is okay (and normal) to long for love, but it's equally vital to recognize the growth and beauty in seasons of singleness.

“I feel for women right now…where are the strong men of God?” – Ari (12:18)
“I’m such a hopeless romantic. There’s really nothing that can happen that gets me to give up on love.” – Angela (16:58)

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4. The Example of Joseph: Redemption Through Waiting (23:55–27:13)

• Joseph’s Journey: Ari revisits the biblical story of Joseph—betrayed, imprisoned, forgotten—emphasizing how years of waiting prepared Joseph’s character for his eventual position (25:26).
• Parallel to Personal Lives: The hosts reflect on their own “deferred” dreams and see God’s hand shaping their character so that, when their desires are fulfilled, they can sustain the blessings.

“If God would have given him everything when he gave him that dream, he wouldn’t have had the character to sustain it.” – Ari (27:13)

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5. Living in the Waiting: Faithfulness and Growth (29:58–31:03)

• Active Waiting: Importance is placed on not letting life pass by while merely waiting for the next thing; fulfillment and growth are found in living faithfully in the present.
• Cyclical Desire: Discussion on how, after achieving one desire, another longing often emerges, reinforcing the need for contentment now (47:44).

“You are not letting your life pass by waiting for something. You are living in the waiting.” – Angela (29:58)
“We need to be radically anti-waiting seasons…just live.” – Angela (47:17)

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6. The Role of Faith, Character, and Community (35:32–41:39)

• Returning to Basics: Both emphasize the daily, simple practices of faith—prayer, Scripture, spending time with Jesus—as the antidote to heart sickness (35:35).
• Growth in Secret and Public: Angela & Ari explain how, unlike Jesus who developed in obscurity, their public ministry forced them to mature with an audience, often unprepared for the pressures, yet grateful for the fruit and sanctification (39:22–41:39).

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7. The Gift of Singleness & Reframing "Waiting" (41:39–49:02)

• Spiritual Opportunities: The hosts suggest reframing singleness (or other unfulfilled desires) not as punishment but as a sacred season where God has unique access to our hearts.
• Paul’s Teachings: Ari invokes Paul’s writing that singleness allows for greater focus on the things of God (42:48).
• Contentment: Encourage finding deep joy in the present, resisting the urge to measure life by achievements or future plans.

“If you’re in a waiting season right now, this is the most precious time of your life, even if it has been years… it takes time.” – Ari (43:02)

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8. Speaking Life over Yourself: Combating Depression and Hopelessness (54:20–56:01)

• Reject Death-Speaking: Ari cautions against self-fulfilling negative talk ("I'm so depressed") and urges listeners to read the Word, pray, and "speak life" even when it's hard.
• Practical Encouragement: Sometimes faith means forcing oneself to keep going through basic acts, such as opening the Bible or washing one's face.

"Don’t speak death over your life. You are not stuck. You are not. It’s just a feeling…the heart is deceitful. Keep going." – Ari (54:20)

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Notable Quotes & Memorable Moments

• On romantic longing:
  “Do you guys sometimes wonder, like, where are the men? Where are the strong men?” – Ari (11:56)
• On the fruit of waiting:
  “If God doesn’t give us what we want when we want it, it's because we need character to sustain it.” – Ari (27:13)
• On God’s perfect timing:
  “God’s timing is not good—it’s perfect.” – Ari (28:22)
• On enjoying the journey:
  “We’re not freaking waiting. We’re being developed. We’re living.” – Angela (47:17)
• On speaking life:
  “Don’t let depression plague your life. …Don’t speak depression constantly over your life…How do you speak life over yourself? You saturate yourself in the Word.” – Ari (54:20)

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Timestamps for Important Segments

• Hummingbird Dream / Finding God in Everyday Moments: 17:55–21:09
• Introducing Hope Deferred Theme: 21:32
• Discussion on Joseph's Story & Character Development: 23:55–27:46
• Advice for Living in the Waiting: 29:58–31:03
• Transparency About Their Public Faith Journey: 39:22–41:39
• Reframing Waiting Seasons / Why Contentment Matters: 47:17–49:02
• Speaking Life Over Yourself and Fighting Depression: 54:20–56:01

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Overall Tone

Angela and Ari keep an uplifting, down-to-earth tone, blending humor (from coffee talks and travel mishaps) with raw, vulnerable insights on faith and emotional health. They offer practical, faith-driven tools for battling disappointment, waiting well, and embracing joy in every life season—reminding listeners of God's presence in heartache and His faithfulness in every delay.

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Summary Takeaway

A life of faith is filled with waiting, but hope deferred doesn't have to mean despair. Seasons of delay are sacred opportunities for growth, intimacy with God, and character formation. Instead of remaining stuck in longing for the next thing, Angela and Ari urge listeners to live in the now, pursue Jesus, and always believe that God is at work—even (and especially) in the waiting.

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“Don’t give up. Keep going. Don’t speak death over your life. Speak the Word. Stay close to Jesus—He’s working in you and you are chosen.” – Ari (54:20–56:01)

Transcript

[Angela]

Foreign. Have you ever been in a relationship and kept having unwanted doubts like, do I love them enough? Am I really happy? What if God has someone better for me? And those questions felt impossible to ignore. And suddenly you're repeatedly praying for certainty or signs, constantly comparing your relationship to others and asking friends what they think over and over. But you can't find peace no matter what you try. Unwanted relationship doubts can feel so real and so scary. But here's what's important to know. Thoughts like these can be a sign of relationship ocd. Unlike the stereotypes about being organized, real OCD is a serious condition that can latch onto anything we care about. Relationship OCD creates this never ending loop of doubt and anxiety followed by behaviors you do to try and feel better. But the relief never lasts. But OCD doesn't have to take over your relationships because it's highly treatable with a type of specialized therapy called exposure and response prevention, or erp. And that's why we're excited to tell you about nocd. NOCD is the world's leading OCD treatment provider and all of their licensed Therapists specialize in ERP therapy with no CD is 100% virtual, covered by insurance for over 138 million Americans and includes support between sessions. Their therapists are extensively trained, deeply understanding and ready to help you reclaim your relationships. If any of this sounds like you or someone you care about, visit nocd.com and book a free 15 minute call to learn more about how NOCD can help. That's nocd.com this episode is brought to

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[Angela]

When you're done drinking that, can I have a little sip?

[Ari]

Yeah, you can have it.

[Angela]

Yeah, you can have it.

[Ari]

Yeah, your cahava. Ah, yokahava. We get a little funky at 8am eh.

[Angela]

Oh my gosh. Is there alcohol in this?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Yeah, yeah, there's alcohol in that.

[Ari]

Ang.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

There's a little.

[Ari]

I, I did a little shot of gin this morning just to really get. Get the day started. It's, it's. Is there alcohol in it?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I don't know.

[Angela]

There's something.

[Ari]

Are you out of your mind?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

It's.

[Angela]

It.

[Ari]

What I hope you.

[Angela]

Is there lavender?

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I hope you would bring me to a rehab if I came in at 8 in the morning putting alcohol in a coffee.

[Angela]

Okay, then what is.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

What kind of woman of God do you think I am?

[Angela]

What do you. What. What's in this?

[Ari]

I have become.

[Angela]

You did something interesting.

[Ari]

I have become a coffee connoisseur. So I have a routine. Not only has the Breville completely transformed and changed my life. Sure. I do a shot of the. It's like this vanilla. I don't know.

[Angela]

Is it lavender? No, this.

[Ari]

Vanilla. What is it called?

[Angela]

Vanilla. I put a little vanilla syrup.

[Ari]

Syrup. And then.

[Angela]

So. Why are you saying that?

[Ari]

Syrup, syrup. And then I do. And then I do a little bit of vanilla paste or honey.

[Angela]

Vanilla paste.

[Ari]

Yeah, it's like vanilla, and. And so I. And then I mix it together, and then I do the almond milk vanilla. That. And then I put some honey in it with cinnamon on top. Remember when I used to use seed oil? Oat milk.

[Angela]

I can't believe you used to drink,

[Ari]

and I was, like, blowing up like a balloon.

[Angela]

Well, oat milk is the worst thing for your body. By the way, you with gold shadow.

[Ari]

Do I have gold shadow on?

[Angela]

Yeah, you have gold eyeshadow. I was like, your eyes look insane.

[Ari]

Oh, really?

[Angela]

You look beautiful.

[Ari]

I was. I had. I. You know how you have to go like that so you can see? That was me getting ready this morning.

[Angela]

Well, I. I stayed at my friend's house and forgot all my makeup. And so, you know when you have to use somebody else's makeup, it's just, like, Russian.

[Ari]

Even the. Even the foundation.

[Angela]

Foundation concealer.

[Ari]

She's, like, not even the same color as you. She's Jamaican.

[Angela]

I know, I know. I literally can't even believe that I look okay.

[Ari]

Yeah, you look beautiful.

[Angela]

Thank you.

[Ari]

Did you wash your hair?

[Angela]

So I washed my hair yesterday. And you know when you don't. You know when you don't wash out all the conditioner?

[Ari]

Oh, that's the worst.

[Angela]

You have this, like, sticky hair, and you're trying to, like, curl it. Yeah, that was me this morning. Anyways, don't look at me like that.

[Ari]

Anyways, I slept on the. I was just telling Angela, but I slept on. Do you guys have a side of the bed that you just always sleep on? I slept on the opposite side last night, and I had the most demonic dreams that I'm not even gonna get into, but they were horrific.

[Angela]

I want to hear them.

[Ari]

No, it was horrific.

[Angela]

That's awful.

[Ari]

Oh, and by the way, you told me that you were moving to Japan.

[Angela]

Wait, that's prophetic. Because remember Doug? I was talking to Doug yesterday About going to Japan.

[Ari]

No way.

[Angela]

That's weird. That's, like, weirdly prophetic.

[Ari]

Oh, my gosh.

[Angela]

It's fine.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Yeah.

[Ari]

And I said, maybe for the fashion, but other than that, no. And then I did. I was like, of course I would say that.

[Angela]

I don't think we would survive in Japan. So I am on the tail end of the flu. I'm going to talk as little as possible this episode because nobody wants to listen to this. Where going? Where going, friend? I preached this weekend with 101 fever. I don't know how I got through. It was literally the grace of God. The first night, my family and people in the audience said when I went out on stage, I had no voice. And within a couple of minutes, minutes, I was speaking with, like, a full voice, which is the supernatural grace of God.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Heck, yeah.

[Ari]

We've become such dorks.

[Angela]

We are such dorks. And then. So we're in Ontario and you want to tell them your story?

[Ari]

Oh, yeah. Does anybody have the video of me telling the Bonjour story? It was such a cute little moment. And I want that to send to my mom. She keeps asking me about it, but basically, like, I always travel with Ange everywhere, so I have no brain cells when I travel now. I've been traveling since I was a kid. Like, I've been on my own since I was a kid. And now I'm like a child. Like, I have no idea what I'm doing in airports.

[Angela]

I check in for her.

[Ari]

I turn off my brain completely when I'm with her.

[Angela]

I'm so in my masculine.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I just can't do it anymore.

[Angela]

Keep going.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I really act like a princess when I'm with you.

[Angela]

Oh, a princess. You guys have no idea. She doesn't open doors for herself anymore. We get to a door, and if she's in front of me, she stops and waits for me to open it for her. And I love it for her. But, like, I need.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I need a man.

[Angela]

Okay, keep going. No, I don't. We're de Centering men.

[Ari]

Don't get me started on men.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Don't get me started. I am in this. I have to come out of this negative mindset of men right now.

[Angela]

You do.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Oh, yeah, you do.

[Angela]

You need to go on dates.

[Ari]

Oh, please. I'm like, now I'm in a different country. I land and I'm just. I, like, panic. I'm like, oh, my gosh. I'm in a different country. What am I going to do? Am I like. I was just panicking. I'M like, I can't believe I'm in this position where I am like this when I travel now. So I'm on the phone with my girlfriend and I'm like, oh my gosh, I'm in a different country. I was, I'm so stupid.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

This is so stupid.

[Ari]

But I was like, I'm in a different country now. They don't have cars. No one speaks English. Because I always would go to Quebec when I was a kid and everyone was French. And so I land, I go up to this guy at the airport and I'm like.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

And I was like, bonjour. I was like, do you guys have cars?

[Ari]

And he looks at me and he was like, yeah. He's like, the Uber's downstairs. I didn't think that they had Ubers because I was in a different country.

[Angela]

We were in a third world country. We were in, in Ontario, Canada.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

But if anybody has that video, can

[Ari]

you please DM it to me? I really want.

[Angela]

And then another funny part was, you know, we talk about mental health a lot on the podcast and sometimes, you know, Jesus is also joy. He's not just depression and saving you from depression, even though that is a lot of people's story. And I are on the plane, what

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

are you going to say?

[Angela]

I, I, we're on the plane on the way back and it's like a, almost a six hour flight. It was so far. We had just preached two nights in a row. I'm still like getting over the flu, so I'm super sick. The last thing I wanted to do was talk about anything spiritual. I was fried. I just wanted to like zone out and have a good time and just like watch YouTube and just chill out. And Ari looks at me and go, hey. And like taps on me. I take out my headphones. She goes, this week we should talk about depression.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I said, no. I said, no. I said, what do you think about?

[Ari]

I go, what do you think about next week? I go, what do you think about next week's episode? God restores those who are too far gone.

[Angela]

No, no, no. That was after first it was, first it was, what do you think we need to talk about depression? And I look at her and I

[Ari]

go, she has her hair in a top notch.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

She's so frazzled and gone, so gone.

[Angela]

And I look at her, I go, I don't want to talk about depression. I want to be happy. I don't want to talk about depression anymore. I just want to be happy. And, and then later on, and then she's like, dying laughing because of my response. And then later on, she goes, hey, what do you think we do? God restores what's been lost. And I'm like, for the love of

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

God, just leave me alone. Just leave me alone.

[Angela]

I don't want to.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I was like, yeah, you're right. God is joy. Let's just have a fun episode.

[Angela]

So. So what we landed on after saying let's have a fun episode is hope deferred makes the heart sick. So here we are again with sick hearts. And if I'm being honest, I could learn a little lesson on what to do when hope deferred makes the heart sick. So take it away, sister.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

And honestly, I was thinking about, like, what's my hope deferred right now in my season? And I'm like,

[Ari]

men.

[Angela]

Yeah, I've decentered men. I don't know what that means.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Sorry, I just looked at you like an owl. I'm just like, what is de center?

[Angela]

Decentering men means that they're no longer the center of your life. You know, we're decentering.

[Ari]

Oh. They haven't been the center of my life in years. Thank you, God.

[Angela]

But I'm just. I love love. It's really hard for me.

[Ari]

I love love, too, but I'm just. Okay, like, you know what? No, I'm gonna stop.

[Angela]

Go ahead.

[Ari]

No, because it's just so. I hate speaking death, but I'm sure. Girls, can you relate to me at all? Do you guys sometimes wonder, like, where are the men? Like, like, where are the strong men? Where are those men that, yeah. Are really just strong?

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

We're the strongest men of God. And where are you?

[Ari]

I feel for women right now.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

I feel like there's this. We've got to be in the end times.

[Angela]

No, that's. That's what it is.

[Ari]

That's what it is. Right. Because I'm looking around and I'm like, this can't be right.

[Angela]

There really are great men out there.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

There is such.

[Angela]

There's such good memories. I know there is.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Yeah, there's great.

[Angela]

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[Ari]

We do.

[Angela]

I It's so funny. And are there any girls like me? I'm such a hopeless romantic. There's really nothing that can happen that gets me to give up on love. No, I love love. I believe in true love. I think love is amazing. I think there are amazing men out there. They're fighting.

[Ari]

I love Jesus. That's it.

[Angela]

I'm like, I love Jesus too. And you need to get out there. You've gotten a little too comfortable being alone.

[Ari]

You know what, Ang, do you agree? He who finds a good thing, he

[Angela]

finds it for sure.

[Ari]

He who finds a good thing.

[Angela]

Yeah, but what if the good thing is at home in feeding hummingbirds and like.

[Ari]

You guys, can I just tell this story real quick?

[Angela]

I would love nothing more.

[Ari]

Listen, I have to tell you this story real quick. So I was dealing with a lot of anxiety and I have this dream, okay? And I'm like in the sun and I have my head laying down on my shoulder and this hummingbird comes and sits on the end of my arm and he like lays on my arm and. And I'm all of a sudden I'm washed with complete peace and I'm just smiling and this bird is just Laying on the end of my arm. And so I wake up, and I'm just in complete peace. And you know those dreams where it was just so you could feel it, it was so vivid. And so I start looking up, like the significance of a hummingbird. And it means peace, and then it signifies the Holy Spirit. And so I was like, this is insane. And so every time I would have anxiety, I would think about that dream, and it would just completely put me in peace. So probably about two weeks later, I decide to bring my chair up to my window. Because I just wanted sun on my face, and I wanted that to kind of be my secret place. So I bring my chair up to my window, and I'm sitting on my chair, and I'm looking out the window, and I have all these trees. And all of a sudden, that hummingbird comes.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

It's crazy.

[Ari]

And sits right at my window. And I was like. I just start crying, and I couldn't believe it. Every day, that hummingbird comes by my window. And so I go and get it. A bird feeder.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I watch it every morning, and it's like my. I'm on the phone with my mom the other day, and I'm like, mom, I gotta call you back. Bombing my baby today. I, like, literally call my baby.

[Angela]

So cute. Does he know you?

[Ari]

Yes. I'm like his mom. I feel like his mom. And so he has a little nest right by the tree in my window. And I go, hi, baby.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

And he wiggles his little butt.

[Ari]

I'm gonna put a video up right now. Look, we. I sent you the video, and you don't. I. I talked to her about my bird. I named him Shalom.

[Angela]

Wait, that's so cute.

[Ari]

And I sent you a video, and

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

she doesn't even respond to it anymore. She doesn't even. I send her video of my. My all day.

[Ari]

This is what my life has come to. I go, mom, I thought by this

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

time I would have be having kids. And I'm calling you about the bird every day, okay?

[Angela]

Its butt is wagging.

[Ari]

I say, hi, baby.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

And he wiggles his bum.

[Angela]

Look at that beak. I love the beak.

[Ari]

All right, we're gonna get started, but I just need to show you this at the end real quick. So. So I'm saying hi to him, okay? Yeah, but look at this, Ang. Just watch, please. You're gonna love this. Watch, look.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Look.

[Ari]

Like. I'm not kidding. I'm not crazy. I'm not like a bird lady.

[Angela]

No, the bird loves you.

[Ari]

He loves it.

[Angela]

Shalom.

[Ari]

I named him Shalom. Which means peace, cutie.

[Angela]

You.

[Ari]

You.

[Angela]

You are so.

[Ari]

Everyone's. So everyone's been dming me saying that

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I'm real life Cinderella. I'm a Disney princess.

[Angela]

You really are.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Yes.

[Angela]

You're also so good at romanticizing life.

[Ari]

Really? Yeah. Except men. Yeah. Stop telling me. I have to get out there, Ang.

[Angela]

Or don't. Whatever you feel God calling you to do, in my professional opinion, you've gotten a little comfortable being alone.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Did you ever think that would happen?

[Angela]

No.

[Ari]

So we're going to talk about a verse in Proverbs, Hope deferred makes the heart. Heart sick. This verse is brutally honest. When what you're hoping for keeps getting delayed, it can actually make your heart feel heavy, discouraged, even numb. And so we want to talk about that today.

[Angela]

I'm excited to talk about this because I think there's always a conversation around the waiting and, like, how to wait. Well, and what waiting produces and how waiting is a good thing. But I just don't think anyone talks about the fact that waiting can. Can. It can genuinely make your heart sick. Yeah. It can make you bitter. It can make you depressed. Even when you know biblical truths that God has a good plan for your life, plans to prosper you, not to harm you sometimes, that still doesn't keep you from getting sick. So, like, what do we do genuinely to keep our hearts from getting sick?

[Ari]

Yeah. Yeah. And it's. And it's a season that I was in four years ago when everything got stripped for me, when I was hoping for certain things in my life, like, I wanted to get married. I wanted to. I wanted certain things to work out, and it just didn't. That made me so sick to the point where, like, it manifested physically.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

Like, it's a real thing. Like, a sick heart is no joke. And so. And God sees that, too. Blessed are those who mourn. He's. He. He understands sickness. He experienced that in the Garden of Gethsemane when he was literally sweating blood. So it's a real thing. And I experienced that when I was in my 30s and everything got to. I mean, you know, my story. I was so heartsick. So when a promise is delayed, whether it be a heartbreak or a purpose or just a loss. And so we wanted to talk about that today. I just finished reading the Story of Joseph. I've read it so many times, but it really hit home for me again after just reading it. And he's a perfect example of hope deferred makes the heart sick.

[Angela]

Yeah. What?

[Ari]

I just love you.

[Angela]

Why?

[Ari]

I just Do.

[Angela]

Did I do something?

[Ari]

Yeah, I was thinking about. I don't know what it is, and I wish we could get the meme and put it up real quick. But there's this meme that if I had to. If I had to think of any meme that would show Ange, it would be this man or is. Maybe it's a woman. And. And it's like when your friend's wrong.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

When your friend's wrong, but. But she will, like, always. And she's in the bag and she's like, do you have that meme? Yeah, we'll put it up.

[Angela]

Literally.

[Ari]

If you haven't studied the story of Joseph, please study it. It is one of my favorite stories, and it's probably one of the stories that I relate to personally the most. Yeah, but God gives Joseph a dream that he was going to be in a position of authority, that he. That his family would literally bow down to him. And then the opposite happens to him. He gets betrayed by his brothers. He gets thrown into a ditch. He gets sold into slavery. He gets falsely accused. He gets thrown into a prison. Prison. And then he gets forgotten by the very person that he helped. And so he's in prison every year that goes by that he's forgotten. Heart sick. And Joseph wasn't in prison for, like a week. He was in prison for years. We forget, like, how even David, David, Joseph, how many years they were on the run or in prison, like, and we.

[Angela]

They look like little stories. I know, but it's like real life situations.

[Ari]

And I even think about my own situation. Like, oh, my gosh, it's been so many years and I haven't gotten what I want. And then you think about these stories of, like, Joseph, he was in prison. Picture this. He's in prison for years. Can you imagine how emotionally sick he was? The uncertainties that he carried, the weariness that he carried in his heart. I can't even imagine what he went through. But what I love is that through that he didn't let his sick heart be the very thing that made him give up. What did he do in prison? He kept showing up with integrity. He kept serving. He kept using the gifts that God gave him. Interpreting dreams.

[Angela]

He kept using the dreams.

[Ari]

That's Galatians 6, 9. Don't grow weary. What does that mean? It's okay to feel uncertain. It's okay to feel your feelings. Like I said, those who mourn are blessed. And God doesn't expect us to be superhumans. Joseph wasn't a superhuman. But through that weariness There's a difference between being tired and growing weary. To the point where you say, I don't want to do this anymore. I give up. So it's through your weariness, you don't give up. Because what does it say next on the other side? There is a harvest when you don't give up.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

What is before a harvest? You have to plant it, you have to water it, you have to wait, because there is unseen growth in the waiting. And so when I think about Joseph, if God would have given him everything in that moment when he gave him that dream, he wouldn't have had the character to sustain it.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Ari]

So it was through all of these years of what he went through that built him, that strengthened him, that built his humility. And so when he was handed the call that God had for him in his life, he was able to sustain it. And not only that, but you have to understand, your life is connected to so much more than you. And what does Joseph say at the end? You intended to harm me, but God intended it for good, to accomplish what is now being done for the saving of many lives.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

I love that. His life was connected to so much more than him. And as you read Joseph's story, it also built this dependency on God. And I think that of my own life, all of the things that I wanted for myself, I wanted to be a mother, I wanted to be a wife. And while, yes, that's a good desire that I have, God had other plans for me. And I say this all the time, but I'm so grateful that God doesn't give us what we want when we want it, because I did not have the character to be able to be a mother yet.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Yeah.

[Ari]

Like I have been able. God has been working on my character and me and building me as a woman for the past coming on four years. And I look back and I'm like, thank you that you didn't give me what I wanted at the time when I wanted it, because I can't believe the woman that I am. And now I. He's worked on me so much as a woman, I've. I've been able to break things, generations of things that have been embedded in me. He's been working on my character. And I'm so glad he didn't. He didn't give me what I wanted at the time because I can't believe who I am now. And I still have a quiet ache of wanting these things. There's things that I still don't have yet. Hope deferred I have a longing for certain things in my life. But what I do know is God's timing is not good. It's perfect. And. And when you don't have something, it truly is because he's doing something in you. One thing that I know, even though I don't have it yet, is that God is good and he's faithful. And so before where I would let it make me bedridden and so depressed and depleted. Through him building my faith through these years and the track record of my life, I know that if I don't have something yet, God is still good and he's still faithful. And the plan that he has for my life life is the very best plan. Whether he doesn't bring me what I want or not. I know at the end of the day that I have Jesus. I truly do. That doesn't mean that I don't hurt, but I still keep going. I don't let that be the very thing that keeps me bedridden and depressed.

[Angela]

And so you're not, you're not letting your life pass by waiting for something. You are living in the waiting.

[Ari]

Yes. And so what do we do in this time? I'm so grateful that my pain and the heart sick. It motivated me to be dependent on God, activated a faith to keep going, to keep serving. Look at what I've done with my life. Look at what God had for me on the other side of me wanting to have that marriage and that relationship. I kept going and learning and been consecrated to God and look at what he's done in my life. There's a purpose for every single one of us. I love that you say that we just can't let our life pass us by. Know how hard it is when you're longing for something and you are. It's like this grief that makes you feel like, will I ever be okay again? And that when you are dealing with such grief, it really makes you never want to get out of bed. I know that feeling. But you have to understand that God is so faithful and that he love

[Angela]

this episode is brought to you by Glorify, the number one Christian daily devotional app. Glorify is such an amazing way to stay connected to God throughout the day. Honestly, you guys, you're going to love having something on your phone that immediately points you back to God. Because life gets busy, your mind gets loud and sometimes you just need one moment to be still and remember who God is. With Glorify, you can start your morning with the Bible passage of the day. Read the daily devotional and spend time in their immersive experience called Daily Walk with God. And it's not just for the morning. If you need a few minutes in the middle of the day, Glorify has guided meditations and curated worship playlists for quiet reflection. And at night you can listen to their sleep meditations and let your mind and heart rest in God's peace. Whether you've been walking with Jesus for years or you're just starting to explore your faith, Glorifai has something for you. Join the millions of Christians who have downloaded the Glorifai app and deepen their relationship with God. Listeners to GGB can get full access to Glorify for just 29.99 for the entire year. That's Glorify's lowest price ever. When you download the Glorifi app [e-mail] GGB feel closer to God this year with Glorify. Get full access all year for just $29.99 at glorify d app.com tgb that's glorified d app.com tgb. What if your Jesus is shaped more by culture than by Scripture? We've created a personalized Savior who exists to meet our individual needs and bless our lives. We've made him into a coach, a therapist for our anxiety, a political ally that Jesus is saved. Safe, manageable, convenient. He fits comfortably into our lives without disrupting them too much. The Missing Messiah, a new book by Kyle Idleman and Mark Moore, helps us understand how Western culture has gradually reshaped Jesus into our image and recognized the difference between a personalized savior and a revolutionary king. It's about the true cost as well as the true gain when we stop treating Jesus like a spiritual accessory and start following him as the Messiah. If you believe there's a more dangerous actress, more majestic messiah than the one you've inherited, visit missingmessiah.com to learn more. This podcast is sponsored by Active Skin Repair, a skin health brand that helps your skin heal using natural, non toxic medical grade ingredients. What makes Active Skin Repair different is that it uses the same proprietary formulation trusted in hospital. The key ingredient is hypochlorous acid, a molecule your body naturally produces when applied to the skin. It works by mimicking your immune response to cleanse, soothe irritation, reduce inflammation and support healing. Active Skin Repair can be used for just about everything cuts, scrapes, burns, sunburns, rashes, acne, eczema, rosacea, you name it. It's safe, non toxic and gentle Enough for all skin types, all ages and anywhere on the body or face. But what I love the most is they've expanded beyond just healing. Spra, their hydrating serum for body and face is incredibly lightweight and packed with hyaluronic acid to deeply hydrate and plump the skin, leaving you with high quality ingredients, leaving you with that healthy dewy glow. It's made with high quality ingredients sourced from Italy and is EWG approved so you know it's both effective and clean with no heaviness or irritation. And their daily hydrating mineral sunscreen, also EWG approved, is one of those products you actually want to wear every day. It's super sheer hydrating and layers perfectly under makeup while still protecting your skin. Trusted by over a million customers and clinicians with thousands of five star reviews, Active Skin Repair is simple clean skin care you can feel good about. Safe enough for everyone in your family, from the youngest to the oldest. To learn more and get 20 off your order, visit activeskinrepair.com and use code GGB. You can also find Active Skin Repair on Amazon and your local cv.

[Ari]

CVS loves you and then he sees you and that he's working behind the scenes. So let that motivate you to keep serving and keep going. Because it's then when the harvest comes, when you keep going, it's then when you be when he's developing your character in this time of the unknown and the sickness, he works through that and that's what he did for me.

[Angela]

And just constantly submitting your waiting in your heart back to Jesus constantly. Like the only way to keep your heart from getting sick is to continuously give it back to him every single day in the secret place. Back to the basics I feel like we just can't get away from As I walked through a situation where my heart got sick even recently, the I remember thinking like I need some sort of magical Jesus remedy to get me better, to get me past this, to get me through this, to make my heart not sick anymore. And actually what I need needed was the very thing that I did when I first met him, which is wake up in the morning, read the Bible, pray, let Jesus love me and do the things that I did in the beginning. We never graduate from those basics. I just feel like the longer you walk with Jesus, the more simple it should be getting. That's what I've discovered the most. Like if there's not some like magical thing to do to wait well or get your heart back in a good place, the only thing you can do is Spend time with Jesus. The only thing you can do is soak and bask in the goodness of God in the presence of Jesus. That's what I've learned for me and something that I want to say when it comes to, like, waiting, two stories in the Bible that I love so much. We have Elizabeth, who gives birth to John the Baptist. She has to wait a long time. She has a long waiting season. And I imagine her heart got sick in her waiting. Elizabeth had to give birth to John the Baptist at the time that she did so that he could prepare the way for Jesus to come. That was divinely connected to the life of Jesus. We have Hannah in the Old Testament. She had to wait to give birth to Samuel so that he could then be at the right time, in the right place to anoint David as king. Like Ari said, our lives are not just for ourselves. We are one little. What is it called? What do they say? We're like one little thread in the tapestry of God. We're one little part of a massive story we cannot try to figure out with our own physical eyes and understanding how God should move in our lives when we are connected to something so much bigger than us. And that always encourages me so much that, like, sure, I have all these plans, sure, I think I know the way that things should go, but I have no idea what God is doing. I have no idea what my children are going to be connected to. And then one last thing that I want to say, like Ari talked about developing your character. This is what should be getting your heart unsick the most, is that if God hasn't brought you something yet, he truly is developing you. And I just want to give you guys an example. Ari and I began in Girls Gone Bible, and I believe it was the will of God that things happen the way that they happened. But the way things happen for us in ministry with the podcast is not conventional and it's not the way that God typically does things. He typ. He developed Jesus in obscurity before Jesus ever started his ministry. The Lord developed us in front of people. And there's so much beauty in that because look what people got to witness. Two girls on a true sanctification journey. It was amazing. It was beautiful. And also our character was not prepared for it. And do you know what it's been like behind the scenes, stumbling our way through this?

[Ari]

Crying, screaming. Not only. Yeah, not only trying to learn, but even. It was our together.

[Angela]

It was our character. Like, we did not have what it took to sustain what we were Walking in and like, by the grace of God, we had people around us, mentors, pastors, leaders, and the spirit of God walking us through. Thank God we did it with each other because it's been really messy. Thank God we both are doing this with someone who accepts the other person. It's been the hardest thing we've ever walked through. Through is trying to carry this platform and being in ministry and all the insecurity that comes up and all the weird stuff and all the yucky stuff that had to be purged out of us. It's been brutal. So I say that to say, I'm so happy it happened the way that it did because there's been so much fruit that's come from it. But it's been hard. We've seen firsthand what it's like to be given something before having the character to sustain it. Even now, I want to be a mom more than anything. I am currently going through so much therapy and doing work with Jesus because I've been made aware of things that I do not want transferred onto my kids. I know there are ways, even a year ago that I would have parented that. I'm so grateful. I don't have children yet. There are things that I've adopted from my lineage that I'm like, I want this to be different.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

I want it to be different for my kids. I don't want to react in this way. I don't want to respond in this way. So while I want to have children, truly, more than anything, more than anything, I want to be a mom. I've got work to do.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

There's work currently, as of right now, that I'm doing because I want to be a better parent. So, yes, while I have this desire, what helps my heart not be sick is knowing that there's so much work to be done right now. And I didn't know that before. Before I was kind of like, life is meant to be fun and have kids and. And just have a good life and blah, blah, blah. No, there's work to be done.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

And I'm grateful that Jesus has me in the place that I'm in right now where I'm alone and I'm doing really, really hard work that I've never had to do before.

[Ari]

It's, you know, it's the greatest blessing. And in the moment, you think you're being punished.

[Angela]

Yes.

[Ari]

And it's like, no, it is the love of God that He took that person away or he hasn't given you that purpose yet. Because it's in that time where you would not be able to learn and sustain the character and be the person you are without this time. Yeah, my singleness season, I have gone through so much, but I am just like, thank you, God. Thank you, Jesus, that I wasn't doing this with another person. I wouldn't have been able to do it. And I just even think about, you know. Yeah. Like, how would I have. How would I have been into ministry? How would I have learned and been on tour and done all these things if I would have had kids and a husband? And so if you're in a. Even in a waiting season right now, one thing I love you read about Paul when he says it is better to be single because you can focus more on the things of God. And so sometimes when I'm even with Jesus, like, I have tears in my prayer time because I'm like. Like, it's so sweet that the Lord has you just with him.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

How like, he wants you to himself right now. You should. Don't look at it as, oh, my gosh, everyone's married and I'm alone. No, look at this time as the. A precious time that God wants you for himself. God has truly wanted me for himself. I know that for all these years because he. I. I've been with him and I've gotten to learn about him and I've gotten to really understand his love, and I've gotten to really love his people and be a. A serv. His people. That's so beautiful. And so if you're in the waiting season right now, this is the most precious time of your life, even if it has been years, because everybody in the Bible, it wasn't a year or two, it was years. But to become the person that God is developing you into isn't overnight. Just like when you see a harvest planting, it's not overnight. It takes time. And so I just know that he is good, he is faithful, and his time really is perfect. And so every time you start to get weary, bring it to him. Partner with him in that way, you know, but don't let it get you to the point where. It's where you say, I'm throwing the towel and I'm giving him, I'm giving up, because it's in this place where he does his best work. But at the end, it says, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life. What I learned is that even if that desire is different, it might be different from what you think it is. And mine was. I thought my life was going to be so different. I thought I was going to be an actress. I thought I was going to, you know, have this whole different life than what I pictured. But what God gave me, I am more fulfilled with the plan he had for me. So it might look different. Different. It's just every day I always talk about of the opening of the hands of your will be done. Just like Jesus after he was sweating blood, he said, but nevertheless, not my will be done. Your will be done. And so it's that constant of I know my heart is sick right now. I know there's these things that I want so bad, but your will be done. I give it to you. What are you trying to teach me in this season? How can I keep serving you? And it's just you keep bringing that pain to him every single day. And that's in the, in the moments where you literally see, like you see him, you see him in that sick heart moment. That's where he meets you. That's where he. You cultivate this trust and faith. It is in the moments of your deepest sickness in your heart where you feel the comfort of God, the love of God and the faithfulness of God.

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[Ari]

you that's why I can sit up here and boldly talk to you. Not because I've been doing this thing for years, but because I lived it. And I have seen the wonders of God through my pain and through my sick heart. And so don't give up. Don't let this time of what has been delayed, of what you want that hasn't come to fruition be the Very thing that makes you give up. Because it is in this time where he is developing you and working in your life.

[Angela]

Life. I don't even know if we should, like, have anything, like, have anything called a waiting season. What are we waiting for? We're not waiting.

[Ari]

We already have everything we need. Yeah.

[Angela]

And he's currently doing something always at all times. It's like, it actually doesn't even make sense. We're not freaking waiting. We're being developed. We're living. We're living. Okay. How. How many years do we waste in a waiting season? Because we're just letting our life pass us by. Wa. Waiting for the next thing to come. No, we need to be radically anti waiting seasons because then you got that. Just live.

[Ari]

And then you get that marriage and then you want something else.

[Angela]

It's never ending. It's. Me and my friend were talking the other day. She basically was like. She was like, you know, I'm always. I get sad when I don't have something to look forward to. Like, I get sad. Like, I had Stagecoach, and so I was really excited for that. And then before that, I had this to look forward to. Now I don't have any like. Like trips coming up or anything planned. And I'm like, that's such a normal feeling. And it's also sad.

[Ari]

Yeah.

[Angela]

Like, we should be happy right now, you know, not always just waiting for something. Waiting for the next fun thing to happen. The next. Like, today is the day the Lord has made, and today we will rejoice and be glad in it. Truly, like, I love that.

[Ari]

Ang.

[Angela]

We just shouldn't be waiting all the time.

[Ari]

Because you're never fulfilled. No, that's why you have to be. And that's why Jesus probably might have you in this season. Because you're constantly looking for the next high. And you need to find that in Jesus to where you are completely content on your own. That's one thing I had to learn. I can relate to that. If I didn't have something, if I didn't have that next high, I was miserable. Now put me in my bed with some. Just let me lay down and look

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

at the trees of my bird, and I'm good.

[Ari]

But at the same time, we are human. We do have desires, of course. And it's okay too. So it's like I. I do have that quiet ache sometimes. I desire intimacy. I desire love. I said. I said yesterday, I said, I just want someone to hold me. I want love. So I get it. But yeah. Yeah. Guys, do you want, like, should we do a fun episode?

[Angela]

I. Well, I.

[Ari]

What do you think?

[Angela]

Well, you guys tell me what you think about this. I said we should do Fridays. Be Fridays, be like a normal GGB episode. And then maybe on like Tuesdays we release like a funny episode where we. I said we should do a cooking, a baking show where we bake food and just like. Like have fun and just be normal. Just be angen r Like I say

[Ari]

just sit here on Fridays and just shoot the sheep.

[Angela]

Okay, let's do it. What do you guys think about a second episode a week? But, like, we might get cancelled if we, like, let all the walls down and we're our truest selves.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

I'm like, loving this.

[Ari]

This raspy voice, by the way.

[Angela]

Oh my gosh, it's.

[Ari]

I wish I permanently had it. It's giving Miley Cyrus.

[Angela]

I wish it was, but it's, like, not cute. I. I feel like it's not cute

[Ari]

or, like, nice to listen. I love it.

[Angela]

Thank you.

[Ari]

It's giving you a little bit of edge

[Angela]

to that.

[Ari]

But we're like sitting there for like 10 minutes and at Starbucks and she looks at me and she goes, ari, we're not in line.

[Angela]

I go, I. I go, ari, we're not in line.

[Ari]

And she goes, oh, okay.

[Angela]

No, we sat for 10 minutes not in line at Starbucks, and neither of us says like, no, what is that?

[Ari]

We've done that before when we've sat behind a parked car and we thought we were at a red light.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Oh, yeah.

[Ari]

And we sat there for 10 minutes and I think you were like, we're behind a parked car.

[Angela]

That is so diabolical. You mean that word?

[Ari]

I just don't get it.

[Angela]

It's diabolical. It means, like, evil, like, ridiculous. What do you mean you don't get it? Diabolical?

[Ari]

It's just a big word. No, there's another word that you talk about and it just reminds me too much of something.

[Angela]

Hyperbolic. Guys, do you think I'm hyperbolic? I've had people tell me I'm hyperbolic and I don't know, I'm just like, a little traumatized.

[Ari]

I'm traumatized.

[Angela]

Do you guys think I'm hyperbolic? Cuz I say, like, every piece of pizza is the best piece of pizza I've ever had. Or like, this is the best day I've ever had.

[Ari]

I don't know. But that domino's flatbread pizza was amazing.

[Angela]

Yeah, we. I. Oh, by the way, eating disorder. Who? I had donuts and she literally eats. But not in like a binging way. Just like, Like I can have a bite, like free. Okay. Anyways, guys, thank you for joining us on Girls Gone Beblay.

[Ari]

We, by the way, we had so much fun on tour. It was so beautiful. Toronto and Buffalo were unbelievable. It was. Shut up. It was.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Honestly, it was beautiful.

[Ari]

Yeah. And we're going to be coming to Connect. Connecticut. We're going to Connecticut and Pennsylvania.

[Angela]

Pennsylvania. You know, I grew up in Connecticut. I grew up in Newtown, Connecticut. So we'll see you Hartford, Connecticut, in York, Pennsylvania.

[Ari]

Just in the comments. Write to us if you're gonna be coming to the show. It's just awesome to be with you guys in person. It really is so special. I. It's everything.

[Angela]

We've been loving the east coast coast.

[Ari]

Yeah. Yeah. Well, Toronto isn't the east coast, but it's like on that side, kind of.

[Angela]

It felt like the east coast, though. It's on like that side of the world. So many Albanians.

[Ari]

Tell me, why Toronto? Like, I felt safe. I'm like, okay, I can eat whatever, cuz I'm not in America.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

It was so clean. The food was so good. The fashion. Everybody was put together. And then you come to America and everybody looks. I'm sorry, Jesus, that's negative.

[Angela]

But it's like, we love America, but

[Ari]

it's like you go to different countries and everybody's so put together.

[Angela]

Yeah, they.

[Ari]

And everything is just cleaner.

[Angela]

Yeah, they don't wear sweatpants like I'm wearing today. Anyways, we love you guys so much.

[Ari]

Don't give up. Keep going.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Don't give up. I'm going to try not to give up. I'm going to try not to be negative.

[Angela]

Me too. Don't give up. I'm not giving up. Even through this flu. Even through, you know, all the garbage that the world. I got nothing.

[Ari]

No, seriously, don't give up. Yeah, don't give up. Don't let depression plague your.

[Guest or Co-host (possibly a close friend of Angela and Ari)]

Don't.

[Ari]

Don't let depression plague your life. I'm serious. And I'm going to say one more thing, because on the shows I kept hearing like, but I'm so depressed. And I'm the. And I get it. Because I can really get into that mindset. I even just got into that mindset when we first started the podcast saying, where's the man? Blah, blah. But don't. Can you please don't speak death over your life. Don't speak depression constantly over your life. You are not stuck. You are not. It's just a feeling. The heart is deceitful. Keep going. Keep speaking life over you. How do you speak life over yourself? You saturate yourself in the Word. There's no way that you can sit in your depression when you are reading God's love letters to yourself. Keep reading. Keep soaking in his presence in His Word. Let him speak to you and minister to your heart through the Bible. I'm telling you there are times where I can't get out of bed and I. I force myself. Sometimes you have to for your Force yourself to open the Word of God and read the Psalms and saturate yourself in prayer. Tell him how you're feeling. And then you'll notice that you can to get up and you can start to wash your face. And I'm. You, you. We have to stay close to Jesus, but don't speak death over your life. You are not depressed. You are not plagued by your. Your. Your delay, by your singleness. You are not forgotten. He sees you where he sees you and he's with you and he's working in you. And you are chosen and you are called and you have a purpose for your life. Take it from someone who thought my life was literally over and it's just begun.

[Angela]

Yeah.

[Ari]

We love you.

[Angela]

We love you so much. We love you. We love you. May the Lord. Oh, sorry. May the Lord bless you and keep you. May he make his face shine upon you and be gracious to you. May he turn his face towards you and give you peace. Shalom. Shalom. We love you like a little hummingbird named Shalom. Love you guys so much.