Ari (35:28)
Okay, I'm gonna be completely honest with you guys and I'm pretty sure a lot of you already know this coffee is everything to me, but I don't always love how it makes me feel. The jitters, the crash, sometimes weird stomach stuff. Not the vibe. I do not want anxiety from my favorite thing in the world. So when I tried Everyday Dose, I was so pleasantly surprised to see the outcome because it's coffee. Coffee but with benefits. It's made with a hundred percent Arabica coffee plus collagen, lion's mane, chaga and nootropics, which means it tastes like your regular cup, but it fuels your brain, gives you clean energy and actually supports your skin focus and mood. No jitters, no crash. And honestly, I'm just gonna say it less bloating. All right, you take what you can get. You can choose between Coffee plus, which is my mild, smooth, easy on the stomach, or Coffee plus Bold, which has a richer, stronger flavor. They're both third party tested and mold free, which I love. And the best part is that it takes 30 seconds to make like your full supplement stack in a cup of coffee and you guys can get 45 off your first subscription order of 30 servings of Coffee plus or Bold Plus. You'll also receive a starter kit with over a hundred dollars in free gifts, including a rechargeable frother and a gunmetal serving spoon by going to everydaydose.com ggb or enter GGB at checkout and you'll also get free gifts throughout the year. That's everyday.comGGB for 45% off your first order. I'm sitting with Jesus, right? And I'm like thinking about this because as soon as we start like talking about how we're going to have this episode, I immediately start to. I feel myself start to struggle. Because in the kingdom it's grace and truth. Like Jesus in John it talks about how Jesus came dwelt among us full of grace and and truth. Not 50% grace and 50% truth, like 100% grace, 100% truth. And I think a lot of us can sometimes lead toward like lean towards grace. Some of us lean towards truth. I think I lean towards truth a little bit where I struggle with this and I'll get into it. Like, I've had my own journey with this. But I think I have been struggling because my heart is like, I'm just so, like, scared of abusing grace. Like, I'm so afraid of like the idea of coming on here and telling people like to tolerate sin, you know, so that's what I'm like struggling with my own mind because that's how I deal with myself. And so like, right. Everything that we say and do is a projection of us and ourselves. And so I'm realizing, like, so I'm like, I really sit down with Jesus and I'm like, I want you to speak about this to me first. I'll start off with saying that I went through a period in my journey where I was not only striving per for perfection in myself. Result like having a bunch of religious ocd, but I was also like inflicting it on other people. Like, I was actually not even just doing it to myself, I was doing it to other people. I think because I come from a background of darkness and living in the world, I think think I was filled with the fear of God so quickly. And then I think I also had fear of imperfection. And like, I went through a really hard time where I was. I got super not religious because I was never religious, but I got critical. I was very critical of myself and I was critical of my friends. You know, this. Like, I thought I was the swear police. Like, I'm like, my friends are 30 years old and I'm taught, like, it was just like too much. And so I went through a period of time where I had this perfectionism thing where I thought like, I had to be in control in like perfectionism and performance and striving are all rooted in control, which is rooted in fear. Perfect love casts out fear. You cannot, like, you cannot have fear when Jesus is involved. So you can't have perfectionism if God is in it. And so I'm like on this journey where I am being very critical of myself and other people. And it's not spirit filled, not the intention isn't bad, but if the Holy Spirit's not in it, it's not right. And then as I go on a journey and you spoke to this a little bit where like, shame, like literally the second you just said shame, my entire world, like my heart opened up because I was like, that's what it is, is we have shame. It's not even just that messing up and sinning and falling short leads to shame. It does. But we have shame to begin with. And I have to say that. And I want people to really hear this and understand this, because sometimes we read the Bible and we have these, like, beautiful Christian cliches that actually don't do anything to us. Because I can come on here and tell you every scripture there is about not having shame and not striving, but it won't mean anything to you unless you let Jesus come do a work in you. Everything Ari talked about about how you can't strive, you just do your best. Like, it's all a work of the Spirit. You let the Holy Spirit come and you let him do a work in you. And one of the first things that you have to let Jesus do. I'm saying this because I am on a journey of addressing shame. If you don't look at shame, you will be in this perpetual cycle of trying to be perfect, having shame, falling, and then just being riddled with shame and guilt. I. The second that I started to address shame, I stopped being as, like, weirdly religious because I realized that I was being critical because I had shame still, and I haven't looked at it yet. And so things started to, like, unwrap. That's why this is interesting for me, because I'm going through this right now where I did deal with perfectionism, but I have received so much breakthrough. I. Because I. I've looked at my shame. Not all of it. It's a journey, but, like, I did start to look at my shame and be like. Because when you're free of shame, you actually receive and understand the grace of God. But if you have shame, you will continuously not understand what Jesus is saying in Scripture. And so I just want to say that, like, having a standard of perfection isn't that bad because it's actually biblical. Our standard is Jesus. Jesus is perfect. So our standard really is perfection. We get into trouble when our standard of perfection is based out of fear rather than, like, it's the fear of being imperfect rather than the fear of God. Because the fear of being imperfect leads you to be like, God's mad at me. We did a whole episode on. It's called God's not mad at you, you. And it's like a beautiful episode that I think everybody should listen to because we are on our own journey of hearing a mean voice from God that. That's not him. He doesn't sound like that. The other one, the fear of God leads you to knowing that God has your absolute highest interest at heart. So it's not living this Life of not wanting to be perfect. It's about living a life, fearing God, knowing that God has my best interest in heart. So I'm going to act according to his word and his will and what he wants. Not because feel like I have to, but because I just want to. Because I know it's good for me. Because I know that not having sex outside of marriage is good for me. I know that when John and I hang out at 10pm that we look at each other and set a really strict boundary because we know that if we don't, it's not good for us. Not because I'm afraid of being imperfect. I just know what the consequences. Something that I. You talked about it how like your old journey with how you used to. You talked, you talked about it really early, about how like they gave us so much grace. For the beginning of the podcast. As I'm thinking about this, I literally, I'm like on our Insta or on our YouTube and I go through like, I press oldest. So it takes me to the beginning. I'm looking at the thumbnails and I see I'm like looking through the thumbnails of myself and I'm just like. Like, it's just so funny. Like, it's just so. I'm so prideful. I'm so. It's just dark. It's just like I've got this tough girl. Like, I don't need a man. Like, just like the opposite of who I want to be.