2026 Dating Trends: Chalance, Friendfluence, Voice Notes, and More

Summary

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Girls Gotta Eat – 2026 Dating Trends: Chalance, Friendfluence, Voice Notes, and More

Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine & Rayna Greenberg
Release Date: February 16, 2026

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Overview

In this insightful and comedic episode, Ashley and Rayna deep-dive into the biggest dating, sex, and relationship trends shaping 2026. They blend personal anecdotes and social commentary, covering what’s new (and not so new) on both the dating scene and in pop culture. This year, themes of clarity, honest self-expression, and intentionality shape their take on dating, from how and why to share your values to the rise of "chalant" effort and the influence of AI and friends in matchmaking.

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Episode Timeline & Key Segments

• 00:00 – 03:18: Show starts, Valentine’s & podcast anniversary chat
• 03:54 – 13:24: Should you talk about your exes? Trauma-dumping and perception management
• 24:58 – 26:01: Introduction to 2026 dating trends—overarching themes
• 26:04 – 36:00: Trend #1: “Hot Take Dating” (lead with values)
• 37:07 – 41:42: Trend #2: “Chalant Dating” (visible effort and intentionality)
• 46:17 – 54:24: Trend #3: The comeback of romance and yearning
• 54:47 – 59:20: Trend #4: Voice notes as a primary dating tool
• 59:29 – 65:58: Trend #5: “Friendfluence”—let your inner circle vet and connect for you
• 66:04 – 70:21: Trend #6: AI matchmakers—swiping fatigue and tech-enabled dating

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Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Sharing About Past Relationships Shapes Perception

• [03:55 – 13:24]
  The hosts unpack Wheezy’s advice: “Stop telling these men how badly your ex treated you. It’s a testimony to what you’d be willing to put up with and for how long. Speak highly of the people you’ve dated. Stop letting these MF’s feel like the prize.”
  • Ashley: “It starts to feel like trauma dumping…What is the intention here? Do you want someone to save you?”
  • Rayna: “When a man says my ex is crazy, my first thought is, what have you done to provoke that behavior?”
  • They stress tone, timing, and intention, advocating for honesty but cautioning against oversharing early on.
  • Notable advice: Present yourself as strong with high standards, and let your exes sound like the bar to beat—not the bar to barely reach.

Quote:
“Do you want to be telling guys, my bar is low? I have been. I have put up with so much.” – Ashley, [08:11]

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2. 2026 Dating Trends (6 for 2026)

a. Hot Take Dating (Lead with Your Values)

• [26:04 – 36:00]
  • There’s a shift from casting a wide net to being upfront about beliefs, especially political and social values, even on “kinky” apps like Field.
  • Ashley: “If you can't denounce this hate and racism and pedophilia, we are not moving forward. There’s a real line now between good and evil.”
  • Discusses how indifference (even versus outright opposition) in value alignment can be a dealbreaker.
  • Rayna: “Today, it’s so divisive. You have to be able to go home at the end of the day and talk to your romantic partner about what you’re watching on the news.”

Memorable Moment:
Ashley: “Would you cancel on someone if their politics were off? At this point? Yes.” [35:04]

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b. Chalant Dating — Visible Effort & Vulnerability

• [37:07 – 41:42]
  • “Chalant” is about being intentionally not nonchalant; it’s about showing you care, making plans, and being vulnerable.
  • Rayna: “Be vulnerable, even at the risk of being rejected. We were all told to, like, chill out and be the cool girl, and then men’s behavior ran wild.”
  • It’s no longer about playing games or “acting chill”—it’s about real, visible effort and communicating intentions early.
  • They praise directness (“I’m looking for a relationship,” “I want kids someday”) as empowering, not desperate.

Quote:
“Effort is the new currency.” – Logan Urie, referenced by Ashley, [48:17]

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c. Romance Is Back: Visible Effort & Yearning

• [46:17 – 54:24]
  • The era of “cool girl” is gone; now, women crave—and expect—intentional romance: planning, thoughtfulness, and follow-up.
  • “If I reach for my card, we’re going to be friends…If you allow me to split the check, I’m just—not doing it.” – Rayna [47:57]
  • The “yearning” energy (“Bridgerton,” “Heated Rivalry”) is in: “It’s hot to want someone. Show you like them. That’s what’s sexy now.”

Ashley’s Advice:
“Just listen to what I say and send me an article tomorrow about something that made you think of me.” [48:08]

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d. Voice Notes as a Dating Tool

• [54:47 – 59:20]
  • Voice messages (“voice noting”) are rising—funny, more intimate, and filter-creating.
  • Rayna: “If you don’t like this [voice notes], I’m not for you. It communicates my personality.”
  • Ashley: “If you’re a man with a hot voice and you are not voice noting before first dates, you are really missing out.”
  • Caution that hearing someone’s voice can rule in (or out!) romantic interest fast (“If I hear Michael Jackson come through, date’s canceled”). [58:08]
  • Voice notes keep early communication light, real, and can heighten excitement before the first meeting.

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e. Friendfluence — Let Your Circle Set You Up

• [59:29 – 65:58]
  • “Friendfluence” rebrands friend setups, group chat vetting, and leveraging your social circle’s insight.
  • Rely on friends to spot red flags, green flags, and push you to date (or not date) when your judgment is clouded.
  • Candidly discuss how friends' opinions can help break through denial or fear ("You don't like him" or "You're just scared").

Quote:
“You aren’t just dating someone. You’re dating their circle.” – Ashley, [60:42]

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f. AI in Dating — Swiping Fatigue & Matchmaker Apps

• [66:04 – 70:21]
  • AI is transforming how matches are made ("matchmaker" apps like Amada, Chemistry on Tinder).
  • Tech is moving toward eliminating endless swiping, penalizing flakiness, and better matching based on real-life intentions and behaviors.
  • AI could spotlight your actual dating patterns—maybe even more honestly than you do!
  • “I'd rather someone remove the swiping for me and just be like, ‘we found this person—would you like to go out with them based on the things you said you liked?’” – Rayna, [68:56]

Memorable Bit:
“They’d be like, ‘We know you said you want someone 6’5, but your last boyfriend was 5’11—so take the 5’11 guy!’” – Show [69:28]

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Notable Quotes & Moments

• Ashley on political dealbreakers:
  “At this point, I cannot imagine…leaving a first date and not knowing where someone stood.” [28:53]
• Rayna on post-cool girl era:
  “I tried to cool girl myself to death. I don’t like it.” [47:35]
• Ashley on planning over paying:
  “He listened to one thing I said and now I’m busting the group chat, ‘Guess what he did. Listened to a sentence I said!’” [52:12]
• Rayna on friend setups:
  “Sometimes you might think you like or, but you could be wrong. You always need to give me a second opinion.” [59:54]

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Tone & Style

The episode is signature Girls Gotta Eat: funny, candid, a little raunchy, and packed with practical wisdom. The hosts banter, tell personal stories, and bring in current references from pop culture and dating apps, always prioritizing relatable audience advice and “real talk” takeaways.

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Final Thoughts

This episode is a witty, honest reflection of how post-pandemic dating has grown up—prioritizing real romance, vulnerability, and honesty. The Girls Gotta Eat duo break down the 2026 landscape so listeners can approach dating (or relationship maintenance) with confidence, clarity, and a much-needed sense of humor.

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For more: Visit www.girlsgottaeat.com or follow Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram & TikTok.

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Transcript

[A]

I am glad there's finally more content about, like, pursuing women and just being kind to each other and, like, being romantic. I mean, that's what I'm looking for.

[B]

100%. So what does romance look like in 2026? This podcast is a Dear Media production.

[A]

Hi, guys.

[B]

Hi, Gu.

[A]

Welcome back to another episode of Girls Gotta Eat.

[B]

Welcome back. Hope everyone had a great Valentine's weekend.

[A]

What do you think you did for Valentine's?

[B]

So we will discuss it on this last week's snack.

[A]

All right.

[B]

Okay. I need to offer some clarity on our anniversary.

[A]

Ours.

[B]

Okay, our podcast anniversary. Because I'm sure people were a little surprised last week that I got all twisted up because I'm a big date person and I'm a sentimental person. Here's what it is. And I have looked in this before, but I just forgot last week that the 13th is when we posted our very first episode.

[A]

I knew it was before Valentine's Day.

[B]

Let me finish. Because we had heard. You don't know how long it's going to take to get approved on Apple to have your podcast be in the world, people. It could take up to 10 days. So as soon as it was ready and edited. Took me so long to to FINESSE that first 40 minute episode, we put it up. We did not launch Girls Got to eat till Monday, February 19.

[A]

So this is the first I'm hearing of.

[B]

Okay, so eight years in February 13, 2018 was a Tuesday. No one knew about it. I think we had a few people, like, listen to it, but, like, we did not tell anybody about it. I think we were teasing it on our Instagram, but it launched on Monday, February 19, to the world. I remember being in an uber on Sunday, February 18th, and I was like, it's up if you want to listen now. I was all excited. I was on my way to some event. And so the technical launch is February 19th, but the technical publication of the first episode was the 13th. So if you're more Raina's anniversary, you're the 13th. And if you're more Ashley's anniversary, you're the 19th.

[A]

And if you guys are losing sleep about this now, you know, and I look forward to revisiting this next year and not knowing. She told me about this the other day and I was like, this is the first time hearing of this.

[B]

So. And I'm wearing the necklace today and I was gonna bring you a gift, but I'll bring on Thursday for our actual anniversary. Okay, so Thursday, 10 days after we announce the first anniversary, we will celebrate Our actual anniversary.

[A]

Listen, it's been the 13th for a long time, and we've spent Valentine's Day together every year for a lot of years.

[B]

Yeah, it was always, like, around Valentine's. That's fine. Whatever you guys want to do.

[A]

No, an anniversary is an anniversary.

[B]

Okay.

[A]

I was 40 minutes, our first episode.

[B]

I remember being like, I want to put these out under 45 minutes.

[A]

I just. Yeah, you got that in your head. I remember.

[B]

Yeah, because I was like, you're. We're trying to reach brand new people. We can't launch with two hours or 90 minutes. And so the first episodes were like, 39 minutes. Yes.

[A]

That's crazy.

[B]

And then we would, like, drink at the end. I mean, what a time. Anyway, you guys are probably sick about hearing about the anniversary, but you know what? It still doesn't even happen where you go. It's this Thursday.

[A]

We have more time to talk about. All right, well, we'll thank our partners and we'll get right into it. Thanks to Hungryroot. Get 40 off your first box and.

[B]

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[A]

For life at hungryroot.com GGE with code GGE and SKIMS. Get our favorite bras and underwear at skims.com GGE and Chime bank fee free by signing up at chime.com Girls gotta.

[B]

Eat and thank you to Nutriful. Get $10 off your first order and free shipping at nutrafool.com with code GGE10. And thank you to hers. Get the support that actually reflects your needs. Start your free intake at 4 hers. Okay.

[A]

Okay.

[B]

So there was something I want to discuss. I saw this Instagram story from Wheezy Wheezy WTF? On Instagram who we had on the podcast with her co host Mandy, who do a podcast called Decisions Decisions. We had them last year to talk about their new book. And I just thought this was something that was so impactful and like a simple piece of a dating advice. But I screenshotted it. I want to give her credit, but we wanted to break it down, so she posted. Ladies, can I give you the best piece of dating advice I have in my arsenal? Stop telling these men how badly your ex treated you. It's a testimony to what you'd be willing to put up with and for how long. Speak highly of the people you've dated. Stop letting these MF's feel like the prize. And I was like, wow. It's not like the hottest take, but I never really thought about it in quite that way.

[A]

I think it's A really profound take. Yeah, I think it is the hottest take. And it reminds me, I want to unpack this. It reminds me of the opposite. When I'm on a date with a man and he says to me, my ex is really crazy. And I think both of those things do the same thing. What a man is telling you that he wants you to be like, oh, my God, that's crazy. And when a girl is telling this, she wants you to say, like, that guy. But all these things do is say something about you and not the other person. So with women, it's what. What you're willing to deal with. And with men, when a man says to me, my ex is crazy, my first thought is, what have you done to provoke that behavior? And so I'm like, this says more about the person talking about it than it does about the ex. I don't care about the exact. I don't care about her or her behavior. All I think is, what did you do to provoke and cause this behavior?

[B]

Yeah. And I do think it. Part of that is in the delivery. Like, we are going to talk to our partners about our past. And what is the tone? Is it this therapy session? Is it just sharing funny stories? Is it just, here's about me and here's what I went through. Here's my trauma. I think that even if we have the best intentions with somebody, whether it's even friendships or a business partner or romantic partner, when they are telling you how someone treated them before, you can't help but think that is what they were willing to accept for however long. And I think there is a world in which you're saying, this happened to me and I got out of it, and I won't accept that type of behavior again. And I think that you can share those things with your partner. This isn't don't talk to your partner about your past, but, like, droning on and on about it in a way where it's like, oh, but you're so much better. You would never. And you got to treat me right. Like, I think you have to limit that kind of sharing. And you have to think about the tone. Because I'm not a person that's like, oh, this. This person was treated so poorly before me. I can get away with it. But I don't think we. We can't not think you let yourself get treated like that. And again, like, it's not even that I've been treated poorly, you've been treated poorly. And I know what my boundaries are and what I'm willing to accept. And I've shared my past with Shashank, of course, but it's like, the amount of sharing, the. Like, I've been treated so poorly and by multiple partners, like, when you start going down that road, like you said, even on the flip side of all my exes are crazy or all these men cheated on me, like, what is it saying about you?

[A]

I think it's interesting because there's a line I do want to hear, like, has somebody been in a serious relationship before? What was that? Like, how do they process it? Are you able to have commitment and communication? And I'm always really interested in that. But I think early on, before you get to know somebody.

[B]

Yes, yes.

[A]

And it sounds a little bit like I'm victim, blaming the woman. I just mean with men, when they're like, this thing happened to me, I'm just like, huh? All right. It's been noted. That's all. I mean, it's like, it's been noted that this was a dynamic in your past relationships. And I think that women, when they say this, just wanna say, like, I've been hurt in the past and this sucked and I was treated poorly, and I wanna move on from that. I wanna be intentional. I wanna do something different. But I think in the very beginning, it's not necessarily doing what you think it is, 100%.

[B]

And you see this a lot on the Bachelor or dating shows. And again, the whole intention and the way that they manipulate those shows is they want people trauma dumping on a first date. But it starts to feel like when you see a woman or a man, for example, telling the other person, this is what I've been through, it does start to feel like trauma dumping. And like, what is the intention here? Do you want someone to save you? You know, is the intention, like, you want this man, for example, to say, I would never cheat on you. I would never do that. I'm going to treat you better. Like, what are you asking for in return? And you always say, the way you speak about yourself is how someone will perceive you. So you should be speaking about yourself. As I am a strong person. I don't put up with people walking all over me. Like, how do you want someone to think of you? And to Wheezy's last point, speak highly of the people you've dated. Don't lie. But guys should think, her ex treated her so well. I need to level up. Not like, her bar is low. Like, think about it that way. Do you want to be telling guys, my bar is low? I have been. I have put up with so much. I've been cheated on so many times in the past. Like, to me, it is the amount of sharing and the. Is this a pattern? And the same exact thing with all my exes are crazy. Everyone has a crazy ex. I've been the crazy ex. I have a crazy ex. But it's not every single one. It's not Lewis Howes coming on our podcast, talking about every single one of my exes was a narcissist or whatever the fuck he said. And it's like, that's super sus.

[A]

Yes. And I think that men and women are different. We share differently. So I'm not lumping these in together. When women say this, I think they're trying to be vulnerable.

[B]

Yes. And we'll talk about that today.

[A]

I think that they're trying to, like, share, like, what has happened in the past. And I think it's really important to, like, get clear with people and be honest. And this is what I've gone through. And that's. That's really. But there is just. There's a line, and I know it when I see it, of just like, this is what's happened to me. And please just be delicate with me and treat me better rather than like, I have accepted this, just so you know.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And I try to think about what exes have said to me. Like, I. I hear these things about my ex, and I'm like, this will happen. This will come up. So like, my ex said, my ex wife used to treat me like I was incompetent all the time. And everything I did, she was like, I can do this better. I can take care of this. And I was like, huh? A woman treated you like you were incompetent. Okay.

[B]

So I'm just.

[A]

I'm just making note of it. I'm just noting it. And like, yes, there were a lot of things that came up with him where I was like, oh, you actually, like, can't clean up your side of the street. I can't, like, trust you to, like, take care of very basic needs. And so, like, yes, had we stayed together longer, I would have started really treating him like he was completely incompetent. Like, I understand her the way she was. And the second he said she always did this, I clocked it as, like, she was probably right.

[B]

You're so right about that, too. You're putting ideas in someone's head of who you are. Like, if I said to somebody that I was newly dating, like, my ex has always Said I was this or I was that. He's going to be like, are you? I actually didn't think that, but now I do. You were like, I actually didn't think you were incompetent, but now I do.

[A]

I'm looking for evidence.

[B]

Now I look at. Yeah, so what are you saying about yourself? And we can't stress enough. Like, you should be able to share and be vulnerable and we'll dive into that more today. But I do think it's about how early it is and if someone is badgering you about your past, A, why? And B, you can be a little cagey about it. Like you can be like, oh, it was fine, or it was this or it was that or there were some issues there. And you can share as much or as little as you want. And then as you get closer with that person, you can obviously open up more about your past. But the trauma, dumping early on in hopes that they will treat you better is not doing what you think it's doing.

[A]

I'm fascinated by it. Like, there are just certain things I hold back on a first couple dates, stuff about my family, specifically. I don't try to sound cagey. It's just, it's none of your business. I don't need, I don't need to be share. And I'm not just giving you like the top line notes of myself, like all the good stuff and you know, you gotta wait for the bad stuff. But I always just say there's like a line and I know it when I see it. And people share stuff with me a lot. And you. I've talked to a dating coach before and said like people that are therapists or podcasters, people that interview a lot, people tend to overshare with you. And so I am hypersensitive to it, to not overshare with somebody. And if people start to trauma it up on me, I'm just like, what are we doing here? So I am hypersensitive, but I don't know the first couple of dates. I don't. I just don't know that we need to be sharing things because you don't have the context to digest this information in a way that I want you to.

[B]

Yeah. And you are still getting to know someone and if you like them, how you want to see the relationship progress. Do you want to put in a bunch of effort? We'll talk about effort today. But if you're a guy, not all guys, but a lot of guys by nature are competitive. They are clocking everything you're saying about the people you dated before them because they're competing with them. So if you were like, every single guy before you was trash, you'd be like, oh, I don't have to do anything. But if you're like, yeah, my exes were pretty dope, and this guy did this and this guy did that, don't think you're gonna do on a date. But if you give those clues, if they knew that from before, they're gonna.

[A]

Try to level up, dress for the job you want.

[B]

Yes, that's so true.

[A]

And also, like, I think when people start to reveal stuff a few dates in, I don't look back and think, like, oh, he lied to me. I think, like, he had some tact and some grace in when and how they shared something with me. And when I hear somebody just talk about their exes in a really negative light on the first few days, I'm just like, what was the point of this? Why are you telling me this?

[B]

Right? What are you trying to gain? And again, I think some people are often trying to do something that they're actually doing the opposite. So, I mean, Shashank still barely tells me. I think I'd be digging so deep, I'm like, tell me everything about your ex. This. He's like, why do you want to know that? Oh, my God, stop. Yesterday. Don't.

[A]

I've never experienced you guys. I'm gonna tell you what happened. It's insane. We were.

[B]

God bless Chunky. He is truly the best. I am so, so lucky to be married to this man.

[A]

You have to say that before I.

[B]

Drop what you said. He's just so secure and easy going.

[A]

I love him so much for. He walked into my house yesterday and was like, what do you need fixed in the house? And just immediately fixed my freezer. He was just on the floor fixed in the freezer for a long time. It was insane. But okay, we were. There was like 13 of us watching the super bowl, and we were having a conversation with somebody about a meeting we had had and this guy years ago, years ago, many years ago.

[B]

We lived in New York before I even started to date Chunky.

[A]

It was four years ago.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And we were talking about this meeting we had with this guy, and he said this name and you're like, oh, I know him. I thought I was gonna marry him. And shock looks at you. You have your back to him. Like, I see him look at you and you, like, doubled down on it. You were like, no, no. I mean, he just was so hot, right And I see him looking at you and I'm like, I'm trying to motion to the fact that your husband's staring directly at you. Blacked out.

[B]

Like, I listen, I love Shashank more than anything. I could cry even talking about him. But I do forget I'm married sometimes. I was single for so long, I was telling you, I was able to speak freely about this stuff for so long. And sometimes it does come back and I'll just say, this guy's name is James. He was like this high power CEO. He was on this call. I didn't know he was going to be on the call. And I saw him and I was like, who the fuck is that? Like, I love him, whatever. So again, this is.

[A]

But I. I forget you were married too. It's so funny the way I said it.

[B]

I was like, oh my God, I was in love with him. I thought I was going to marry him. I am saying this with my full chest. Shashock is right here. He's next to me.

[A]

I actually have not heard you exclaim something with that much confidence in a long time. I mean, he know and he immediately looked at you and I was like, is this serious? It was so funny.

[B]

It's so funny because yes, like, I just had like a crush on somebody that was never going to happen. But for me to be like, oh my God, I thought I was gonna marry him. Like, that's what Shashank felt about me that same year. He has that story about a woman and it's me.

[A]

You gotta find someone who loves you a little more.

[B]

Hey, listen, it's better than if it was the other way around. So anyway. But yeah, I like, I was like, oh. I snapped back into it. I was like, oh my God. Oh my God, Ashley, like, fucking get a hold of yourself. What are you doing?

[A]

I forget the.

[B]

No one really did react like that. We were talking to this man and I feel like he was even like, oh, isn't that your husband?

[A]

He shouldn't have forgot his wedding ring that day.

[B]

Yep, exactly. Thank you so much. Shashank forgot his wedding ring because we were making a dip to bring over. And then we got a little rushed and we had a little instapot situation, whatever. And so he forgot his wedding ring and he. He came home from work one day when he forgot it. Like he works really close to home. And he got there and he was able. He always wants to leave work. So he just jetted back home. He was like, it was the cutest thing. He was like, I Don't want to be at work all day without my wedding ring on. I was like, why you be getting hit on by these old ladies?

[A]

I would hit on him.

[B]

That's like an aside. But he totally forgot it. We got your house. And so I was like, well, I guess we're not married. I can do what I want.

[A]

I forget you were married all the time. There's this clip that you posted on our Instagram from last week about super bowl foods, and you said, can we make the cheese dip? And I thought. When you said we, I thought you meant you and me. I didn't realize you meant the other we.

[B]

Someone wrote in the comments you hit her with the other way.

[A]

I was like, you see it on my face? It did not occur to me. You didn't mean me and you.

[B]

I know. No. That was such a funny clip. Okay, well, we got off topic, but I forget how we even got there.

[A]

Just talking about your exes.

[B]

Yeah. And your ex crushes. But I think this is great advice, and I think it is a reframe for people. And I don't want to shame anybody that's doing this. I just want them to think about what they're doing and what you're saying about yourself. I think we all have our own shit. We all have our trauma. However we bring it into a date situation or anything with a potential love interest. If we feel close to somebody and we feel like we can share this stuff, that's great. But it's just something to keep in mind and just something to keep in mind about the way you want people to think about how you expect to be treated. Yeah.

[A]

I only mean to shame men for the. My ex's crazy thing. I would never shame a woman for their behavior.

[B]

Yeah, of course. Of course.

[A]

I'm trying to think, like, I don't actually don't have any exes that I would be like, their pieces.

[B]

I don't.

[A]

People I wouldn't get back together with. But no, like, I'm trying to think, like, when do I share that? Like, have I ever been treated really badly by somebody I actually dated? Everybody else.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Everybody else has treated me really badly, but somebody that I've really been in a relationship with.

[B]

Yeah, right. Exactly. No, I wouldn't.

[A]

I mean, try to remember, like, when I would have shared something like that.

[B]

Yeah. You had, like, your toxic ex in your early 20s. You talk about.

[A]

My fiance left me the day after our engagement party.

[B]

It all starts coming out. But, like. Yeah, I mean, I've had a toxic relationship and I, when I speak about it to Shashank, I talk about the ownership that I played in it too. And I certainly don't speak about it. And it's like I let this guy just all over me and take advantage of me and lie to me and whatever, not even saying he did all that. But it's just like, I don't know. I'm not saying if that was the case, I'd be embarrassed. Like we all have us have a story and reasons for why we let things happen in our life but like I said, would want my partner to think like she has been treated with respect in the past and she expects the same from me.

[A]

But I like that if you frame it also is like here's what I learned and here's what won't be happening again.

[B]

Yeah, exactly.

[A]

Also I can digest that better 100%.

[B]

Okay, so we are just going to have another conversation about health. It is just always on our mind and we have been talking about hers recently and going to tell you a little bit about hers today. So we obviously deal with so much as women, especially as we age. Of course there is perimenopause, there's menopause, menopause, there's changes in our body, there's sometimes unexplained weight gain and anxiety, energy levels, whatever's going on with your skin, I mean the list goes on and on. And women's health has not always been at the forefront of the conversation and we do feel like that is improving and brands like hers really have taken that as their top priority. And this is going to be the care that you deserve to be feeling your best and take your health into your own hands. So we have talked about them before and I think obviously we talk about perimenopause and menopause and that's something that they are tackling. So when you go to their site it'll ask you what's more most important to you right now? Relief from my symptoms, long term health benefits or both. You're going to answer some questions. This is when you do the intake form as well. But they also do weight loss. So when you go to for hers.com and you click on weight loss, they're going to say what's your weight loss goal? Lose 1 to 15 pounds, lose 16 to 50 pounds, lose 51 plus pounds and not sure, I just need to lose weight. And you are going to answer a few more questions about your motivation for it and they're going to work with you on a plan that could work with you and this isn't us saying like everybody needs to lose weight, but it's on a lot of people's minds. And especially as you age or your hormones change and all these things and you just can't seem to figure out or you can't get a handle on it, they are going to help you with that. And they do so much lab testing as well. They check everything.

[A]

So they have 130 plus health signals that they can test. And so this goes into like heart metabolism and hormones. So when I turned 40 I just had like the largest panel of labs done just to check absolutely everything. And my mom has had thyroid problems, I have blood pressure issues. I just want to get everything checked, hormones, I mean as you age it couldn't be more important and like it's just a little intimidating being like what do I test and how do I test it? And so it really is just all here for you. I mean I'm lucky they have liver, kidney, immune defenses, nutrients, blood. I can't tell you how many girlfriends I have especially as they like, like age towards 40 that are like I suddenly have certain intolerances I didn't know that I had. I'm experiencing like weight problems, hormone changes.

[B]

Skin, acne, later in life, food sensitivity.

[A]

And so this is sort of like a one stop shop of like different labs you can get done.

[B]

Yeah. And again I just want to close the loop on the the weight loss stuff. You can access a range of doctor trusted medications from GLP1 injections, oral medication kits and personalized doses. And you can ease in with compounded GLP1 microdose treatment plans like they'll work that all you and we just are so excited to partner with hers. They are a positive force out to provide access to care women deserve by addressing key tension points of an outdated healthcare system. Again, it is an online health and wellness company where you can get a clear picture of your health with convenient access to in depth holistic lab testing. If prescribed, you can access a treatment plan that is not one size fits all. It's going to be for your specific needs. It goes beyond medicine with lifestyle tips for better outcomes. So really sustainable and fits your lifestyle. Convenient 100% online care wherever you need it and ongoing support for whatever you have going on. Again, like we mentioned weight loss, menopause and more. So you can start a simple online consultation with the provider to see if you're eligible. And then if you're eligible, a licensed medical provider will determine again the treatment plan that is right for you and the options that you have so you can check out for hers.com to learn more that is F O R H E R S To get the support that actually reflects your needs. Start your free [e-mail] f o r h e-r s.com okay.

[A]

And if one of your resolutions was to just cook more at home this year or maybe eat a little healthier or just like feel better in your body, I can't really recommend Huggeroot enough. So you've heard us talk about it before on the podcast. It truly simplifies your life in terms of cooking, shopping for groceries. So if you're like a busy parent or a creator like us, it really is like a game changer and it will do all your weekly meal planning through Hungry Roots. So the website's great. You go on the website, you take this quiz about like what do you like to eat, who are you cooking for, how many people are their kids? Do you dietary restrictions, are you trying to do high protein or are you vegan? All these things and they make all your meals for the week. It'll like fill your shopping cart and deliver everything you need to eat healthy all day, every day. You really talk a lot about dietary restrictions and preferences, health goals, budget, what cooking appliances you have at home. And they're really going to tailor a cart for you. They have over 50,000 chef crafted recipes to choose from each week with many ready in just 15 minutes or less. And they really hold all their food to high standards. So they screen out over 200 additives. So high fructose corn syrup, artificial sweeteners, preservatives, all the things that people are trying to get out of their diet, they really screen for all that. There's so much variety and it will tailor your taste in food. So specifically I just love everything that they do. There's, there's snacks, there's recipes, there's all kinds of food that you could order.

[B]

Good for families, great for moms. Yeah, I like made some tacos recently. I always make the tacos that I've had. Pastas. I really love their meats. Like the proteins are really top notch.

[A]

So you're going to love Hungryroot as much as we do. For a limited time, get 40 off your first box plus get a free item in every box for Life. Go to hungryroot.com GGE and use the code GGE that's hungryroot.com/GGE code GGE to get 40% off your first box and a free item of your choice for Life. And we say this every few months, but we have a website, girlskotty.com that has all of our partners and all of the codes on there for you.

[B]

Okay, so we are talking about the dating trends for 2026. Today we picked six for 2026. A lot going on. I mean, you do this every year.

[A]

We do this every year. But this year, really, I was like, oh, there's like a lot of changes.

[B]

Yeah. I mean, some of the stuff is like just rebranded from stuff from the previous years or from the, you know, just life. But we did like some of these things and you know, again, the terminology that we're using out here and last year, I remember it being AI. Of course, we'll talk about AI a little bit today and like unseriousness and taking dating less seriously and kind of gamifying it. And I almost think this year is more serious.

[A]

I think people are being more clear, more honest. There's more self expression. I think people, I think last year was about, let's be so unserious about this. And it, I think that you should be light and silly with it. But I still think there's a way to communicate what you want and be honest and filter out for what you don't want. Not waste your time while still being.

[B]

Like lightning and having fun.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

So to me, this year, clarity, confidence, honest self expression.

[B]

Oh, we're gonna get into it. So we scoured the Internet for these. There's all these think pieces out there and all the things. And saw a lot of experts speak on this. I saw a lot from Logan Urie, who is a data scientist at Hinge. We've had on the podcast a few times. She's just really the goat when it comes to all this stuff. And I was watching her on a Today show interview and we just pulled these from a lot of different places and there's some out there that we saw that we don't cosign. And so we just picked our. Our six that we really believe are going to be prevalent this year.

[A]

And I co sign a lot of these. Like, I just, in talking to my male friends and female friends, I. I see a lot of these things happening. So sometimes you see these articles and you're like, God damn it. But like, I really, this do be happening, right?

[B]

It's just like the same old with a different name. So, okay, so the first one, this is. They're calling it Hot Take Dating, but all it means is being upfront about where you stand in your political. I say that in quotes, your value system in this current landscape from the jump.

[A]

I think just being upfront about, like, where your values are in general. Like, I think that a lot of people, especially on dating apps, want to cast a wide net. And yeah, that's why you see a lot of profiles that are just like, I like walks on the beach and I like to be with my family. And I understand the notion to be like, I want to attract the largest amount of people and then I will self filter.

[B]

Filter.

[A]

Yeah. But I had a girlfriend talking to me the other day, and she was sending me her screenshot. My friend Emily. Our friend Emily, friend. She was sending screenshots and then she was talking to this guy about. And she likes to talk. She watches these documents, documentaries about Scotland. These, like, POV videos about living in Scotland. I was like, yeah, that's her king.

[B]

I'm.

[A]

I watch different POV stuff, but it's a porn category.

[B]

The kilts, though, I can get down some kilts.

[A]

We were talking about, like, the way I talked to men. I was sending her some sex and she was like, we talked to men very differently. And she was sending me these, like, Scotland things. She's sending this guy and he was like, huh, okay. But I was like, I think this is cute. I think it's cute that you're sharing, like, really specific things about yourself. And not that, like, wanting to live in Scotland is a value, but, like, she has these specific interests. And I don't think she's trying to, like, cast a wide net. I think she's like, this is what I'm like, I'm a little nerdy in my interests sometimes. I like history. I like. But I liked it because I was like, this is the opposite of casting a wide net. This is like, this is what I am.

[B]

Each net. Yeah.

[A]

Yeah. And this is like, this is what you're getting. If you don't like that, that might not be for everybody. You can see yourself out.

[B]

Yeah. And if you don't like it, sure. But if you won't even humor me or entertain it, like, I love when I meet somebody, friend, or even when I was on these streets dating that, like, has a niche interest and they're passionate about it. And even if I'm not into it, I want to hear them talk about it. And I'm going to ask questions and try to understand their passion for it. So.

[A]

But to your point, politics is probably the number one thing that people are saying, like, I have no tolerance today for somebody who is not aligned with my belief beliefs.

[B]

At this point, I cannot imagine going into a first date because I'm married. I'm kidding. If I were dated, I cannot imagine a world going into a first date not knowing where someone stood. But I absolutely cannot imagine leaving a first date and knowing, like, we're like an inflection point in this country. And I just feel like if you are still in support of Donald Trump and the violence and the attacks in the communities and the blatant racism and the child sex trafficking ring and just honestly, all the, the lies, the unhinged dictator behavior, like, you should be publicly shamed. We're getting there. And I love to see it, like, if at this point, after all, after the last month, if you can still be like, I support this man. I love for you to be open about that because you should be publicly shamed. Like, this is no more. Like, we hold different values and this and that. Like, you don't have to be a super liberal person. You don't have to identify as that. But if you can't denounce this hate and racism and pedophilia, we are not moving forward. That's what it is. I mean, there is just a real line now between good and evil, I think. And it felt different in 2016. Not to me. I still feel like there was a line and you should know better. But. But whatever, here we are. But today, this defines your character, whether you're in a cult or not.

[A]

Yeah, in 2016, I could still go on a date with somebody that genuinely identified as moderate, not like was maga. But this is where I grew up. This is what my family's like. This is how they've always voted. I think you could professionally work with people that were like that. I think you could have friends that were like that. I could go on a date with somebody like that and still go out with them. Again, you can't do that anymore. Today. It's so divisive. Like, you have to be able to go home at the end of the day and talk to your romantic partner about what you're watching on the news, what you're scrolling on social media. I mean, I could not get through 20 minutes of I can't two minutes. I can't debate this with you.

[B]

And true moderates are opposed to Donald Trump. Let's be. If you call yourself a moderate and you support that, you're a maga. There's just the bucket now. That's just maga. And so I need to know that you're not maga. Yeah.

[A]

Which Super Bowl Halftime show.

[B]

Did you watch? That's what quickly. And again, if you are really passionate about it, you should find someone that is somewhat passionate as well and not just indifferent. I was reading this article, the Cut or the New York Times where they interviewed this couple that broke up and it was political based and he wasn't maga, but he just didn't share her passion. And it started to come between them and it eroded over time. And it kind of started during COVID and it was fascinating to read her and his part of it. And again, it wasn't like he was this like MAGA guy, but they just didn't align in how much she cared about the state of the world. And there were other things too, but it ended up not working out for them. So I just think like you were saying that Jeremy was saying he was seeing this on field about like where people stood politically, like outright.

[A]

Yeah, I couldn't believe it. Cause Field is. I mean I've gone on great dates with people from it, but at its core it is a sex app to find people that have like the same kinks as you. And Jeremy said every single person person's profile says like, if you don't support Palestine, if you don't support free Palestine, don't message me. If you don't support Israel, don't message me. Like, he was like, there is a political statement in every single person's profile. And I was so shook by this. Like, I do understand this on Hinge Bumble. I mean Tinder, but a sex app. But it's like you can't come inside of here if you don't align with me politically. And yeah, I do get it.

[B]

Yeah. Wherever you want to draw that line.

[A]

Listen to a man like passionately speaking about the same political things that I believe. And I was in a car with this guy the other day and he was like talking about comedians that helped to swing the election, including like Joe Rogan. And he was like, I think it's gross and it's like hard to be around that kind of thing. And I was like, I will suck your dick in this car right now.

[B]

No, these Raina, sometimes I need to get off a TikTok with these hot liberal men. That one guy, Chuck, I was like, you got it. We got it. And then Taylor sent me another one that. I mean, there's so many of them. There's no hot maga. Those people are disgusting. Like these men are so sexy and they are speaking out on behalf of women and immigrants and just the state of the world. And it's so hot. Like, Taylor sent me one the other day. I was like, new crush alert. Like, you know, Jon Favreau is my hall pass. Like, I have the weirdest crushes because it's so hot.

[A]

It's so hot. A man that will, like, speak out about this. I'm so turned.

[B]

That guy Chuck, Are we going to get him off? I'll DM him sometimes. I'm watching. So I was watching this one on Tick Tock and it wasn't one of these guys I mentioned. I don't remember his handle. And he was like, basically just trying to speak to MAGA people. And he was like, come on, come in close. I want to talk to you guys about something. You know, the rest of you, if you, you know you're on the right side of history, you can keep scrolling. I'm like, I'm staying here. And the way I watched it, I was like, I shouldn't be watching. Like, I am so turned on by this man. I like should not be watching this. He was like a beautiful man. Here I go again. Just forget our friend's husband. We are talking about politics recently. He's like. I was like, he's never been hotter to me. He's friends with Shashank. Like, he was a shank. Was sitting right.

[A]

There's a crush on him too. Shashank yesterday was like, he's so great.

[B]

He's so wonderful. But he's like. I was phone banking for comma. Like, I've been in the trenches for a really long time, and I was like, oh. Telling my friend who's married to him. I'm like, you got a good one.

[A]

I just. I did not have a no tolerance policy for this kind of stuff 10 years ago. And I mean, even like a few years ago, I didn't have a. Absolutely no tolerance, but I could still hang out with you. But I truly like today to support MAGA or not. Like, people are like, not everything's political. Yes, it is. Everything today actually is political. It is what you think about gay people's rights and trans people's rights and women's rights and the rights of everybody, immigrants, any minority.

[B]

The Constitution. Do you care about it?

[A]

Yes.

[B]

Do you care about actual law and order? I mean, I do.

[A]

Abuse victims. Everything is actually political today.

[B]

And I. Pedophilia.

[A]

Yeah. If you can look at that and you're fine with it, then you can't be up inside of this.

[B]

Yeah. And again, it's like the word politics or political in general is just can be such an inflammatory. It's not even that.

[A]

It's just.

[B]

It is just values at this point. Like, I sometimes frame it that way. We don't have the same type of values. I don't trust your character in today in 2026.

[A]

So I think it's fine to, like, lead with that.

[B]

It's like, I can't show up really anywhere and not be like, oh, what a fucking day. I mean, it's in 20, 20, 26. Like, if there are so few days that go by that haven't been impacted by what the administration is doing. So it's like I wouldn't roll up to a first date and again, immediately unload and start talking politics. But it has shaped the day. It is like, colored my mood also.

[A]

You're like, very on that side of the Internet. But even if you weren't, even if it wasn't you, I don't know how anybody is avoiding this today. Like, I am so happy for a break in politics. Like, when I finally get to, like, talk about, like, the Beckhams or like, Kim Kardashian, Lewis Hamilton, Like, I'm so happy for a five second break in this bullshit. Like, I feel like you get happy and you're like, I'm almost happy. Oh, nope, Something terrible happened. Like, it's. We, like, write these outlines for the snack and we're like, we can't talk about this all day. Like, we gotta find, like, some joy. So I just, I need to be able at the end of the day to like, be with my partner and talk about my values and what I think about what I've seen on the Internet all fucking day.

[B]

Yeah. And again, like, but to your point, like, rolling up to a date that you're excited about, a first date, a second date, you should be able to be light and not talk about, quote, unquote politics or whatever's happening in the world that day. But, like, we've been here an hour. Time to say something. So what do you think of the terrible thing that happened today?

[A]

Like what, what do you.

[B]

What do you think about Minnesota as a place? Like, you know, I don't know, it's just. I can't help myself.

[A]

What do you feel about children in cages?

[B]

Yes or no? Right? Hey, what do you think the appropriate age of consent is? What do you think about Kid Rock?

[A]

What do you think about non Americans performing at the Super Bowl?

[B]

What do you think about this woman with Mar a Lago face? Is she attractive to you?

[A]

Is orange an appropriate skin color?

[B]

Yes. Tanning bets. Yay or nay. Okay, so that's the first one. We obviously went a little hard on it. But the second one is chalons.

[A]

Shallots.

[B]

Shallots. Chalant or shallots.

[A]

You can say like non.

[B]

Oh, nonchalant or chalons. So it just means not nonchalant.

[A]

It's a visible effort.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Not nonchalant. Be vulnerable, even at the risk of being rejected. I mean, I think women were so conditioned to don't be too much. Don't ask for too much. Be the cool girl.

[B]

Yep.

[A]

Don't act like you have a lot of needs or like you're gonna like draw a boundary. Just be cool. Just be waterboarded by whatever it is that they want to do.

[B]

Take it. Just let it go.

[A]

Like, don't be too much to hang out.

[B]

Yeah. The cool girl, the whole thing.

[A]

And I think that, like, I'm not, I'm not gonna shame women, but we all, we were all told to like chill out a little bit and be the cool girl, and then men's behavior ran wild and now we need to get a hold of them. Now we need to explain to them how to behave.

[B]

Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just again, like stopping the playing games. Stop trying to be chill or detached. And vulnerability is what brings you closer to someone in a relationship. This isn't to say pour your heart out on date one, but if you're on the apps, express your intention on the app. And I'm hearing about more and more people expressing that on the date. Like, are you looking for a relationship or not? And again, sometimes we're talking to people that are dating in their mid to late 30s or 40s. But I'm thinking of a friend who was back on the dating scene at 39, she's about to be 40 and was in a decade long relationship and is is back out there Date one. She's upfront with people about what she's looking for and vice versa. And she's still figuring it out. And she's been playing the field. She's been crushing it, so. But she's not going into it. Like, I'm really just trying to have fun and hook up. And that is totally fine to say that too. I think that's so refreshing. Especially you go on a date with a guy, he's like, I'm honestly just like trying to have fun right now. I'm not trying to settle down. Thank God you told me. No, I love that.

[A]

I love when somebody is just honest about what they're doing and I think there's a really easy, casual way to say, look, this is what I'm looking for. It's not desperate. You know, I think people are like, I don't want to be too much. I don't want to sound desperate. Just saying that what you're looking for is not desperate. It's just honest. And somebody else can either match or not match that energy. That's fine. I want to know, do you want to get married? Do you want to be a. Seriously, do you want to have kids? I'm not firing it off. Like, you better tell me this right now.

[B]

Yeah, here's your questionnaire.

[A]

But, like, I think it's kind of hard to be, like, confident enough to be like, this is what I'm looking for. If you're not, that's fine.

[B]

Yeah. And we always say, don't play hard to get. Be hard to get. Live a full life. Don't make finding a partner your entire personality. And that will come through to potential love interests. You know, like, be busy. Be doing the things. Don't wait around for texts and calls and plans. Like, live your life and date around and do all the things and be confident and secure and happy, and that will come through. But, like, to have to be thinking this many hours before I respond to this or this and that, like, trying to play the game, just try to live a life where you naturally are.

[A]

It's so exhausting trying to act like you don't care. And, like, right then it's on my mind. Did I, like, text this person back? How long do I have to wait? Should I initiate a plan? Like, it's just too exhausting for me to, like, keep up with that, you know? And it took me a. Took me 40 years to get here. But if somebody does not. Is unintentional to. To text me back, doesn't make plans. I just lose interest. And I don't need to, like, be like, I'm looking for a serious relationship. And if you can't participate, it's just. I just lose. I'm not interested.

[B]

I know. And it's so nice to get to that point in your life. I was with a friend recently of ours, and one of her best friends is single, and she's younger. She's 32. Some of you guys are hearing that, like, oh, my God, that's so old. But she's younger compared to us. I mean, that's 10 years younger than me, and she's still in that, like, only likes assholes and guys treat her nicely. And it Turns her off and she. She just wants to, like, fuck this Dusty guy who's mean. And I was like, oh, God, it's.

[A]

I mean, we've.

[B]

We've all been there ish, you know, some of us more than others. But, man, when you outgrow, that feels so good.

[A]

I mean, it's a lifetime of work. But I've had a couple situations this year with guys that didn't treat me that nicely. And my immediate conclusion was this says more about you than it does about me. And I don't feel so bad about myself and so rejected. I feel like you weren't that nice to me, and I feel like. Like, that's on you.

[B]

Okay, let's take a quick break and then we will go over the other four dating trends.

[A]

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[B]

I'm like, look at that girl. Who is she?

[A]

She's so cute. You can wear matching sets. So my whole drawer is skims. And I also love their pajamas. I love this. The soft lounge set. I love this as a gift. I love this as a gift for yourself or somebody else. And you guys can shop our favorite bras and [e-mail] after you place your order. Be sure to let them know that we sent you. Select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the dropdown menu that follows.

[B]

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[A]

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[B]

Okay, so this next one. I didn't see this explicitly on these lists, but I decided and I mean I saw some things that like alluded to it and we'll get to that. But just romance in general I think is in. I think about Wuthering Heights coming out and Bridgerton and then shows like heated rivalry. And it's just, it feels like we are wanting romance and it's. It's back.

[A]

You know that the number one thing I hate. The number one trope I hate in any book, any movie, every TV show is some girl that's pining after some avoidantly attached man. And she just waits around getting treated like shit.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

He wakes up one day and realizes that she is the one.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

I hate it so much. I cannot digest any more content about this. And like I am glad there's finally more content. Just about like pursuing women.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And just being kind to each other and like being romantic. I mean that's what I'm looking for a hundred percent.

[B]

So what does Romance look like in 2026. You said visible effort before visible effort. This. This is it. Making a plan. Listening when we talk and picking up on cues and then making a plan surrounding something that we like. Flowers, cards, follow up text. Did you get home okay? Do you have any, like. No, that's the bar. So low.

[A]

Like, I really think that we like this cool girl thing. We all tried to do it. Set the bar low. I'm part of the problem. I tried to cool girl myself to death. I don't like it.

[B]

I want.

[A]

I do. I want to text at the end of the night. Yeah, I had a great time. Did you get home okay? Can I pay for your Uber? I'm not reaching for my card anymore.

[B]

No, you need to.

[A]

You need to pay.

[B]

If you.

[A]

If I reach for my card, we're gonna be friends.

[B]

100. No. If I insert, insist on pain, never talk to me again.

[A]

If you say yes, if you allow me to split the check with you, I just listen. I'm not doing it.

[B]

But then maybe we're on the same page. We hate each other.

[A]

Yeah, I know, but, like, listen to what I say and send me an article tomorrow about, like, something that you saw that made you think of me. Like, just a follow up, a plan.

[B]

Just the plan. So I was watching Logan Urie on the Today show, and she was saying that we women prioritize planning over pain. You need to pay to. But our top priority is, like, having the plan. She said effort is the new currency. And she said 72% of women on hinge say they prefer someone who makes more effort versus someone who makes a higher income. Of course, you probably want someone who has a job and who is, you know, who is financially stable. And maybe you're looking for a rich guy, whatever. But, like, this is the thing women are talking about the most. I mean, we're preaching to the choir with our audience. But men that are listening, I mean, this is the thing. It's the plan.

[A]

I don't care how much money you make. And I know that I'm in a financial position that I support myself, you know, and I know that everybody's not in that position. A lot of people would like a dual income household. I don't have that option at the moment. So I have to support myself. But I would much rather you tell me, like, this thing that you planned for us than, like, this is this thing I'm paying for. This, like, amount of money I bring to the table. I. I can find a million men that bring them a lot of money, Money to the table. I don't care.

[B]

It's so true. And again, I feel like Kiki Palmer, where we're like, we don't need your money. We got the money. You know, and not everybody has that situation, but I think men, a lot of times have historically gotten away with, I make the money for both of us, and that's. I don't need to do anything else. I'm paying for it. You plan it. And again, I understand if there's a world in which, if a woman isn't working, if we're talking about heterosexual relationship, of course the man isn't. He's paying for the stuff. He's paying for the vacation. You got to plan it. You, he's working, you're not. Whatever you guys got going on. But early days, this, like, I'm a rich finance guy. I don't need to put in any effort aside from picking up the bill. I think we are out on that. Where do you want to go? Let me know where you want to go. I'll meet you there. And. And I'll pay. That is such an ick to me. Like, your only value is that you're paying for this. You didn't plan it. I had to plan it. I had to do glam and get an outfit and get myself here. All you're doing is paying. Again, like, not everybody has money, but I gotta pay for this. So plan the thing.

[A]

But that's. That's the whole thing about, like, women today are, like, so educated. We make our own money. And, like, the value that we need our partner to bring is not money anymore. And we need you to bring your personalities to the table.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

And what do you. How are you going to emotionally support me? Like, the last thing that women today really. Listen, I'll take your money, too. But I think on the list, like, when I talk to my girlfriends, like, what are you looking for today? I rarely hear money.

[B]

I know, I know.

[A]

I mean, all my girlfriends can support themselves. If you're single, you're supporting yourself. So I never hear, really, Girlfriends. I mean, all my friends want to date somebody who's financially stable, can take care of themselves.

[B]

Of course, no one's like, I want a broke ass.

[A]

Yeah, I'd like to support this man. But, like, I don't know. It's so far down on the list these days. Like, I would like you to bring your personality to the table and your thoughtfulness and your efforts.

[B]

Yeah. And in terms of planning, this is not saying plan everything. I. I plan more in our relationship because I want to do what I want to do. But I'm even thinking of early days with Shashank, just the thoughtfulness. He would send me songs, things like that. And he, of course, would plan stuff and flowers and cards. And he's really sentimental and thoughtful, too. You don't have to go as hard as he does. He really is the elite. But just that you thought about this, I think that's again, like. Like, it goes so far. You listen to a thing I was into and have an idea or and have, like now have presented me with, you want to go to this thing next weekend? Or this type of food I like that is the lowest bar. Like, you'd have asked what type of food she likes, and that's where you take her the next date. Oh, my God, the romance. Be it serious. Like, we're like, that's so romantic. Like, literally, right? Like we as women. If I said I like tacos. And the second date, he was like, I remember you saying you love tacos. I'd love to take you to my favorite taco place. I'm literally telling my friends on the group chat, this is romantic.

[A]

So I'm busting the door open. I'm like, guess what he did.

[B]

Guess what he did.

[A]

Listen to a sentence I said.

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

EDDIE PLAYS I think we would both enjoy.

[B]

Yeah. And the other thing that is a trend that I saw is this yearning, energy, yearner energy, however you want to phrase it. And again, this is why we're obsessed with heated rivalry. Summer I turn pretty Bridgerton. It's that yearning of it all. And it's hot to want someone. That's what it is. It's just. It's hot to be wanted. It's hard to. To have that type of tension. And that will they, won't they? And I'm not saying to want someone you can't have. And that. That's not what I'm talking about. That. That sucks, you know. But on the positive side of it, it's just showing that you want somebody. That's what's so hot of heated rivalry, if we're talking about that. For example, it got so hot when they went to the cottage because they were both. Both in it. Like the second episode I didn't love because that's when Ilya was a dick to Shane. And that's what made me almost turn the show off. And then see, episode three brought me back because it was this yearning and this love story. Like, we like this. This is hot show that you like.

[A]

Somebody and Shane being like, come to my cottage. I mean, it's like the most memed thing on the Internet. It's like somebody being actually intentional being like, this is. I want this thing.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

And can I tell you about this? I was gonna talk about some snack, but it's fine because you brought Bridgerton. I was, like, in bed the other night, and I watched the new episode of Tell Me Lies. It's just so much toxic, terrible male behavior. And then I watched a little bit of Euphoria season two, which is nothing but, like, this horrible love triangle with, like, Nate treating Cassie and Maddie so poorly. And I was like, why do I feel so bad in my body? Like, why do I feel so. And I had. I had had the same thing a couple nights in her. I watched a little bit of time Tell me Lies, then Euphoria, and I had nightmares. I turned on Bridgerton right after, and I was like, the palette cleanser.

[B]

I know from Bridgerton.

[A]

I feel, like, better in my body. No, I think I'm just starting to really not enjoy watching.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

This really bad male behavior towards women 100. I don't know. I guess I used to tell me, like, season one was different. This Toxicity, Season three is so dark.

[B]

I know. And I love the show. You know what? I'm going to keep watching it. But I think you're so right. The tides have really shifted from a Tell Me Lies toxicity to this heated rivalry love story. And that is healthy growth for all of us. I know.

[A]

I was so proud of me. I was like, oh, she doesn't like this that much anymore.

[B]

Good. And we can all watch things that we don't want. I mean, that's the point of escapism. But if you find yourself really gravitating towards this healthy love and this yearning, you should listen to that. And if you still find yourself gravitating to. Towards Stephen than to go to therapy.

[A]

This season is beating me down, man. It's been hard for me. Okay, so another trend I think you. Did you just tell me this is a trend. Is Voice noting.

[B]

I saw this as well on a few lists, and I saw Logan talk about it as well.

[A]

I love it. I've been doing this for about the last year with people. I mean, I just think that I'm so funny, and I think that people should just hear me talk about stuff. I think that I'm just hilarious. But. But I don't know. It communicates my personality also. And I also think this weeds people out quickly. If they're like, I'm not interested in this type of communication. Like, we always talk about people. Like, everybody communicates differently. They text differently. Some people call you and FaceTime you, which I don't like. But voice noting, to me, it's like, I want you to hear me being like, silly, ridiculous, talking really fast, lots of ideas and opinions. Like, if you don't like that, then I'm not for you. But I like the level of intimacy it communicates.

[B]

Yes, I am obsessed with this in dating, and I was looking at it in a before a first date type of way, so I never did this. I sound like an old married lady. Like, I know back in my day, but in 2023, it was with, yes, we had voice notes, but we weren't using them like we do now. It's like a true primary form of communication. So I would have never thought before going on a date with somebody to. To potentially voice note them. But Rain and I feel like we're the real trailblazers of needing to hear someone's voice. After I went out with that guy who had agreed great, great banter with and he showed up with the voice of Michael Jackson, I was like, I need to hear someone's voice going forward. But. And no, I don't want to get on an introductory call. So the voice note is the perfect way. And then Hinge, of course, adopted the voice prompts and we were like, they copied us. But the voice note is. Is a way to do it. And I like that. Sometimes the vibe on a voice note is like, I just didn't want to text. And it's not in, like, a lazy way, but it's just like, have you ever surprised voice noted someone that, like, you've just like. I think I had a videographer one time in a city that I'd hired for my tour, and I just was like, doing something. Didn't feel like texting had something I feel like needed a little more context. I voice noted the stranger and had to be like, I'm so sorry to voice note you right now, but, like, here's where I'm at. Like, I think it can surprise people. Maybe not always in the best way, but there's nothing wrong with being like, so this is weird, but I just wanted to voice note you, like, accepting that, like, we are strangers before a first date. And I just wanted to send you this voice note, like, even introducing it in that way way.

[A]

I love it. I also voice noted a videographer the other day who was a new videographer. I need to give him Some context.

[B]

Yes. Yeah.

[A]

I just. I like to be able to hear the smile in somebody's voice and everybody kind of looks for somebody different. We were talking to this girl the other day. She was talking to her husband. She was like, I like guys that are a little more robotic. I like Tom. I like Tom Brady. And I was like, oh, that is a tough one. But like, if you heard that in a voice note, a guy that was a little more serious, a little more like, like self possessed and like poised, that probably wouldn't be for me. I want to hear the smile in your voice.

[B]

Yes. But if you're a man with a hot voice and you are not voice noting before first dates, you are really missing out an opportunity here. Like, I'm thinking about this. I'm just trying to put myself in these shoes of going on a first date with someone that you've had some communication with, hopefully you've had some banter with, you're looking forward to it, and they send you a voice note. Hey, just to say, I'm really looking forward to our date tonight.

[A]

Oh, I mean, panties are already on the floor.

[B]

10 seconds. You are firing up the group chat. You'll never believe what he did. Romance just turn on by then. Or if you hear Michael Jackson come through dates canceled. Would you cancel on somebody 100%.

[A]

I don't know what I would do.

[B]

It had. It would have to be so bad. Like, again, that guy showed up 66. Hey, what's your favorite candle? Remember we talked about candles? When I was talking about candles with that guy, I was like, check, please.

[A]

It wasn't during COVID too. Like, we were already going through so much.

[B]

It was the week of the election results.

[A]

Oh, my God.

[B]

It was such a weird time.

[A]

Yeah.

[B]

So I just like somebody that I like.

[A]

I like a talker. I like somebody. Like, it feels to me like somebody that's gonna be like, talking a lot, which, oh, I like someone's gonna ask me a lot of questions.

[B]

But I just really like this. And I do think years ago, before the voice note was so popular, before it even existed, I don't know what year it came out. You would sometimes find yourself in a situation where someone wanted to get on the phone and I. It's too much. I don't know. It feels too serious. So this is like the perfect way if you were really a person that's like, I really want to hear someone's voice. I want to hear their tone before I go spend my evening with them. This is the solution.

[A]

And I Let yourself shine. It's how I shine is on a voice Note. I mean, 90 of my relationships are only communicated.

[B]

I know exactly. If your voice notes ever got hacked, we'd be.

[A]

Oh, my God. Okay, so this is an example of something that just has been rebranded is friend influence.

[B]

Yeah, friend fluence.

[A]

Friend fluence. And this is basically just having your friends set you up on dates. Having your friends post on Instagram, she's single, guys, you know, something like that. Who knows you better than your friends? Who can spot red flags quicker than your friends? Who can pick people out for you? Sometimes I think that, like, we self filter people out. That actually might be good matches for us. And you do need, like, listen, you always need to give me a second opinion.

[B]

What I think, I think I might.

[A]

Want to do something. Until you tell me I don't. And I'm like, you're right, I don't. Sometimes you might think you like or I. But you could be wrong.

[B]

Or you might think that a friend, that they're the problem, rejected you. But as it turns out, you started it. This is also can just be like, there's different levels of this. We've seen different bullet points about like the group chat test. I read this thing. This is a Vice article. It says your friends act as your emotional co pilots, providing immediate feedback on profiles, conversations, and potential dates. And they can vet for red flags. I mean, the main issue here is like, make sure you have solid friends who want, want the best for you. Who are we talking to recently? And she said she wanted a very specific answer that like, none of her stable friends would give her. So she asked her one like, crazy.

[A]

No, it was like me.

[B]

She was just like, I knew she would tell me, like the toxic answer. So you kind of know. But we've said this before. You aren't just dating someone. You're dating their circle. You're dating their family and their friends. And this is something we've talked about for years and also with Esther Perel about having a group hang. Be a first, first or second date? First date. Not always for everybody. We also talked about with Jared, have someone meet you where you're already at. Like, if you're gonna go do this thing, watch football, whatever it is, with your friends at a sports bar. Like, can this new person come again? Maybe not. It's not first date for everybody, but second, a hundred percent. Like, I'm gonna be out. Why don't you stop by and if you were somebody who wants someone who is confident and social, only a confident Social person is gonna show up. So they're vetted there. I read this, this quote said that much of this shift likely stems from social media and the rise of dating talk Date with me videos. Tick tock has turned modern dating into a shared activity which is just kind of again the like sharing the dating stories and like, come with me. But also like, my friend is single, what's up? And I think this like works a little bit better with guys. I don't, I think you can invite some unwanted attention if you're like, look at the single hot girl. But like I love those, those tick tocks where it's like, hey, here's my friend.

[A]

I know, I love those.

[B]

He's a solid dude. I'm vouching for him. I'm a woman who's vouching for this guy. Like, what's up? Like, why not use our friends and our friends followings and circles to find dates?

[A]

I also think, you know, we can only see the world through the lens by which we've experienced things. So like if I have had 2, 3, 4 really negative dating experiences, I, yeah, I will start to see the world through that lens. I use eyes like with the plural. But your friends are able to zoom out a little bit more and be like, just because this person did this doesn't mean the next person. And I, I think that your friends can encourage you to kind of make different decisions because you're only seeing the world through the lens of. Of you.

[B]

Yeah. And sometimes you really do need an outsider. I mean obviously your friends are biased because they want the best for you, but they're not in it the way that you are and they are not dealing with all of your collective use of trauma, baggage, whatever it may be. Our friend that we were talking about who is back on the scene after dating 10 years and she's also dealt with some health things and she's just, she went back on the dating scene with a lot going on. And I think she has really leaned on her friends to tell her like, what's, I don't know, a red flag, a green flag? Like am I overreacting? Is, is this an ick or what's normal out there these days? She's dated in 10 years and she's been through some shit. So thought about that.

[A]

I mean so many people at 40 are to going through their first divorce or their first ending of a very serious long term relationship. They haven't been in the dating world for so long.

[B]

Yeah. And she said some barriers, getting physical with some of these guys, and she's just like, is it them or is it me? I mean, she's really being open and vulnerable and, like, is it me or is it this person? And we don't know, you know, But I think we're really always trying to take a look at the situation and be like, actually, I don't think you really like that guy. And then there's another guy that's like, actually, I think you should lean into this guy. I think that it's your own holding you back from opening up to him. And so I like that she has turned to her and she's a therapist. I mean, she has all the information, but it's. Sometimes you can't see it from the outside the way your friends can. I'm a therapist, and I can't.

[A]

I can't see it when it's happening to me. I could give her advice all day long. She was like, maybe this. I was like, you don't like him. You don't like him as the answer. You st that into him. Yeah, that's the answer.

[B]

Yeah. Sometimes you're right. You have a friend can be like, you don't like him, or a friend can be like, I think you do like him. And you're scared for some reason, Whether it's fear of rejection or fear of intimacy or whatever it may be.

[A]

Do you think that's what happening with me, with that guy? I told you, I don't like. You're like, ra.

[B]

You really do like him, Reina, I'm terrified for you to like him. I. I'm not. Think about every day.

[A]

I'm not going to like you.

[B]

I can't. We can't.

[A]

We.

[B]

All of us, all the inner circle, can't. We can't do this again.

[A]

I feel like there'll be a real intervention. I feel like you and Melanie, that's.

[B]

What we thought last year. It'll be a real.

[A]

No.

[B]

What is our breaking point? I'm texting Melody. Hey, when do we actually sit her down? We bring Bill.

[A]

I feel like in the fall, that situation I went through, I think everybody tried to deal with me by not talking to me about it. I think everybody was like, if we just don't acknowledge it, maybe it'll end. And I was like, okay, this did blow up in a way that I didn't expect. And I was, like, pretty cool about it. But I feel like this time, people are not gonna be nice to me.

[B]

This time you are gonna be alone on an island, sitting at home crying, Nobody to Call. You're gonna have all these new friends all of a sudden, because they're the ones you can see.

[A]

I love a new audience. I love a new audience. Like sometimes Megan, who's like a newer friend in the last couple years, like, like, I'll tell her something. I know I could take it a little bit further with her.

[B]

Yes.

[A]

Because you guys, you, you guys, Emily, you guys are like, I've done this. I'm done with this. Emily screamed at me, get your together. Emily was like, oh, for one time I said, one of these guys. Emily goes, oh, for sake.

[B]

And that's like your little sister. Like, that's Louisa to me. If, like, we have a older little. I feel like we have a very, like, sibling vibe. And if she was like, ashley, get your shit together, I'd be like, I will absolutely get my shit together. Oh, my God.

[A]

Okay, Emily, for fuck's sake. I was like, I will never bring this up again.

[B]

Right. When someone that you have, like an older sister energy towards tells you to pull it together, that means it's time. Okay, so the last one is just obviously AI, and we did talk about AI last year, and I don't even. I should have listened back. But it's just changing every day and people obviously have mixed thoughts about AI and we're going to see more and more about how it plays into dating. But we couldn't talk about trends in anything without talking about the trends in AI. So I mean, we might do a full episode on this down the road, but there are these apps that like, basically are just using it to find you more compatible partners and ease the swiping fatigue. There's an app called no, I guess that's like an AI matchmaker.

[A]

So I was gonna suggest one to you because our friend used one. She's really into it. It's called Amada A M A T A. It's only in San Francisco, New York right now. But she had such a good experience with it. So there, there are all kinds of AI features on, on, like the traditional dating apps like Hinge and Tinder and Bumble. But these are like, specifically for matchmaking. And so she said, matchmaking?

[B]

Yeah.

[A]

Okay. So they match you with somebody. It removes all swiping. So basically she said, but it's front loaded with a little more stuff. So you have to really give more information about what your intentions are, what you're looking for. It's not just like, answer these three prompts. She said, you really have to. And all of these ones like this are a Little more work on the front end for you. But then it just goes into the database and it just matches you with people you don't have to swipe. I mean, this is what I've always wanted. I've always just said, set me up on a date and I'll just go to the date. She basically said, you put your availability meet somebody and if you don't commit after matching with somebody or if you bail or cancel, you get penalized. And there's things like that. So it's also like it controls for bad behavior also. So like you're not just like constantly being like, yeah, I'm gonna meet up with somebody and then they go soon you'll never hear from them again. Like people that are on this app in similar apps, like, you have to behave correctly or you can't be on that app.

[B]

100. Yeah. And again, like all these apps are using AI and not all of them are promoting it. But Tinder, I guess, is implementing this new feature called Chemistry that's gonna be AI based. I mean, they're all using them. I listened to the Bumble founder, her interview with the Daily last year about where Bumble's headed. And so they're all using these. Everything is. Every tech platform is using AI in some way. But there are like Raina said, these actual apps that are like AI matchmakers for you. And again, it's not, it's not a human. They can't always get it right. But a human matchmaker can't always get it right. I mean, but it's like, it's all just information and pattern based and, and I mean, I remember when Hinge, they probably still do this. I haven't been on it in a while. Asks you like, did you go on the date? You know, things like that. I mean, maybe they're vetting for people who actually go on dates, you know, and they're gonna match more people that go on the dates because they can tell people that are just swiping for fun in a non committal way. So there are positives to it. And I like that it could ease dating fatigue in general.

[A]

Yeah, just, it's the swiping that is the barrier for me that's the bottleneck for me. Like, I know that you could argue that, like the downside of this is that everybody's gonna say I want the same thing. Everybody's gonna optimize for a certain type of height and income level and career and things like that. But yes, sure, sure, that's true. What, what did Scott Galloway say like the top 10% of people on a dating app get like 90% attention. Something like that. But that's always a risk in any dating app scenario. Like, I'd rather somebody remove the swiping for me and just be like, we found this person. Would you like to go out with them based on the things you said.

[B]

That you like or who you actually dated in the past? Like Raina Greenberg. Raina's like, oh, I want someone 6 5. And they're like, how tall was your last boyfriend? Be honest. We found pictures on the Internet of it and we actually say that he was 5 11. So you're going to take this fucking 511 guy? Like I like that.

[A]

They would be like, you're lying.

[B]

And we know you're lying. We checked the Internet.

[A]

That's just like, okay, we know you said you wanted but you actually like broke guys.

[B]

And.

[A]

You say you want somebody with a career, but you don't.

[B]

Oh my God. That's a funny app. Just tough love. We just call it tough love. But it's like lying.

[A]

And then I, I purposely sleep with somebody that's six four. Just, just up my average.

[B]

Yeah, exactly. That is so funny. You have your own little AI bot. It's like I actually checked your Instagram and what you're saying you're wanting and.

[A]

They'Re like, ma', am, no. And I'm like, I did just sleep with somebody at six four. Do you want to see his dick pics? I have to like submit them, right?

[B]

The photos give a rating. Okay, so those are your trends to look out for in 2026. If you guys have other ones, let us know in the comments on YouTube or Spotify. I always love reading your comments. We were just reading a chaotic comment section the other day from two weeks ago episode. It was all over the place. So we always like seeing what you guys have to say and leave a rating for the podcast if you're here. We are eight years in so if you are enjoying it, just leave a five star review on Apple or Spotify and subscribe on YouTube and share this with a friend. I think this is a great episode to share especially with your friends who are out there in the dating scene. This will be a good one. And Girls Gotta Eat dot com. Girls Gotta eat podcasts on Instagram and Tick Tock. I am Ash Hess on Instagram and TikTok. Raina.greenberg raina greenberg.com for her tour tickets and all the other things I said. And we'll see you Thursday Have a great week, guys. Bye.