Girls Gotta Eat – 2026 Dating Trends: Chalance, Friendfluence, Voice Notes, and More

Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine & Rayna Greenberg
Release Date: February 16, 2026

Overview

In this insightful and comedic episode, Ashley and Rayna deep-dive into the biggest dating, sex, and relationship trends shaping 2026. They blend personal anecdotes and social commentary, covering what’s new (and not so new) on both the dating scene and in pop culture. This year, themes of clarity, honest self-expression, and intentionality shape their take on dating, from how and why to share your values to the rise of "chalant" effort and the influence of AI and friends in matchmaking.

Episode Timeline & Key Segments

• 00:00 – 03:18: Show starts, Valentine’s & podcast anniversary chat
• 03:54 – 13:24: Should you talk about your exes? Trauma-dumping and perception management
• 24:58 – 26:01: Introduction to 2026 dating trends—overarching themes
• 26:04 – 36:00: Trend #1: “Hot Take Dating” (lead with values)
• 37:07 – 41:42: Trend #2: “Chalant Dating” (visible effort and intentionality)
• 46:17 – 54:24: Trend #3: The comeback of romance and yearning
• 54:47 – 59:20: Trend #4: Voice notes as a primary dating tool
• 59:29 – 65:58: Trend #5: “Friendfluence”—let your inner circle vet and connect for you
• 66:04 – 70:21: Trend #6: AI matchmakers—swiping fatigue and tech-enabled dating

Key Discussion Points & Insights

1. How Sharing About Past Relationships Shapes Perception

• [03:55 – 13:24]
  The hosts unpack Wheezy’s advice: “Stop telling these men how badly your ex treated you. It’s a testimony to what you’d be willing to put up with and for how long. Speak highly of the people you’ve dated. Stop letting these MF’s feel like the prize.”
  • Ashley: “It starts to feel like trauma dumping…What is the intention here? Do you want someone to save you?”
  • Rayna: “When a man says my ex is crazy, my first thought is, what have you done to provoke that behavior?”
  • They stress tone, timing, and intention, advocating for honesty but cautioning against oversharing early on.
  • Notable advice: Present yourself as strong with high standards, and let your exes sound like the bar to beat—not the bar to barely reach.

Quote:
“Do you want to be telling guys, my bar is low? I have been. I have put up with so much.” – Ashley, [08:11]

2. 2026 Dating Trends (6 for 2026)

a. Hot Take Dating (Lead with Your Values)

• [26:04 – 36:00]
  • There’s a shift from casting a wide net to being upfront about beliefs, especially political and social values, even on “kinky” apps like Field.
  • Ashley: “If you can't denounce this hate and racism and pedophilia, we are not moving forward. There’s a real line now between good and evil.”
  • Discusses how indifference (even versus outright opposition) in value alignment can be a dealbreaker.
  • Rayna: “Today, it’s so divisive. You have to be able to go home at the end of the day and talk to your romantic partner about what you’re watching on the news.”

Memorable Moment:
Ashley: “Would you cancel on someone if their politics were off? At this point? Yes.” [35:04]

b. Chalant Dating — Visible Effort & Vulnerability

• [37:07 – 41:42]
  • “Chalant” is about being intentionally not nonchalant; it’s about showing you care, making plans, and being vulnerable.
  • Rayna: “Be vulnerable, even at the risk of being rejected. We were all told to, like, chill out and be the cool girl, and then men’s behavior ran wild.”
  • It’s no longer about playing games or “acting chill”—it’s about real, visible effort and communicating intentions early.
  • They praise directness (“I’m looking for a relationship,” “I want kids someday”) as empowering, not desperate.

Quote:
“Effort is the new currency.” – Logan Urie, referenced by Ashley, [48:17]

c. Romance Is Back: Visible Effort & Yearning

• [46:17 – 54:24]
  • The era of “cool girl” is gone; now, women crave—and expect—intentional romance: planning, thoughtfulness, and follow-up.
  • “If I reach for my card, we’re going to be friends…If you allow me to split the check, I’m just—not doing it.” – Rayna [47:57]
  • The “yearning” energy (“Bridgerton,” “Heated Rivalry”) is in: “It’s hot to want someone. Show you like them. That’s what’s sexy now.”

Ashley’s Advice:
“Just listen to what I say and send me an article tomorrow about something that made you think of me.” [48:08]

d. Voice Notes as a Dating Tool

• [54:47 – 59:20]
  • Voice messages (“voice noting”) are rising—funny, more intimate, and filter-creating.
  • Rayna: “If you don’t like this [voice notes], I’m not for you. It communicates my personality.”
  • Ashley: “If you’re a man with a hot voice and you are not voice noting before first dates, you are really missing out.”
  • Caution that hearing someone’s voice can rule in (or out!) romantic interest fast (“If I hear Michael Jackson come through, date’s canceled”). [58:08]
  • Voice notes keep early communication light, real, and can heighten excitement before the first meeting.

e. Friendfluence — Let Your Circle Set You Up

• [59:29 – 65:58]
  • “Friendfluence” rebrands friend setups, group chat vetting, and leveraging your social circle’s insight.
  • Rely on friends to spot red flags, green flags, and push you to date (or not date) when your judgment is clouded.
  • Candidly discuss how friends' opinions can help break through denial or fear ("You don't like him" or "You're just scared").

Quote:
“You aren’t just dating someone. You’re dating their circle.” – Ashley, [60:42]

f. AI in Dating — Swiping Fatigue & Matchmaker Apps

• [66:04 – 70:21]
  • AI is transforming how matches are made ("matchmaker" apps like Amada, Chemistry on Tinder).
  • Tech is moving toward eliminating endless swiping, penalizing flakiness, and better matching based on real-life intentions and behaviors.
  • AI could spotlight your actual dating patterns—maybe even more honestly than you do!
  • “I'd rather someone remove the swiping for me and just be like, ‘we found this person—would you like to go out with them based on the things you said you liked?’” – Rayna, [68:56]

Memorable Bit:
“They’d be like, ‘We know you said you want someone 6’5, but your last boyfriend was 5’11—so take the 5’11 guy!’” – Show [69:28]

Notable Quotes & Moments

• Ashley on political dealbreakers:
  “At this point, I cannot imagine…leaving a first date and not knowing where someone stood.” [28:53]
• Rayna on post-cool girl era:
  “I tried to cool girl myself to death. I don’t like it.” [47:35]
• Ashley on planning over paying:
  “He listened to one thing I said and now I’m busting the group chat, ‘Guess what he did. Listened to a sentence I said!’” [52:12]
• Rayna on friend setups:
  “Sometimes you might think you like or, but you could be wrong. You always need to give me a second opinion.” [59:54]

Tone & Style

The episode is signature Girls Gotta Eat: funny, candid, a little raunchy, and packed with practical wisdom. The hosts banter, tell personal stories, and bring in current references from pop culture and dating apps, always prioritizing relatable audience advice and “real talk” takeaways.

Final Thoughts

This episode is a witty, honest reflection of how post-pandemic dating has grown up—prioritizing real romance, vulnerability, and honesty. The Girls Gotta Eat duo break down the 2026 landscape so listeners can approach dating (or relationship maintenance) with confidence, clarity, and a much-needed sense of humor.

For more: Visit www.girlsgottaeat.com or follow Girls Gotta Eat Podcast on Instagram & TikTok.