Girls Gotta Eat – “Men vs. Women in Breakups” feat. Ricky Liorti

Release Date: March 10, 2025
Hosts: Ashley Hesseltine (Ashley), Rayna Greenberg (Raina)
Guest: Ricky Liorti
Theme: Comedic deep dive into relationships, breakups, and how men and women process heartbreak, featuring author/podcaster Ricky Liorti.

Episode Overview

In this engaging and laughter-packed episode, Ashley and Raina welcome Toronto-based author and podcast host Ricky Liorti. Together, they explore how men and women navigate breakups, the differing support systems and healing processes for each gender, and the increasing visibility of men's vulnerability. Ricky shares his journey through a difficult breakup, the poetry book it inspired, and why he's pathologically optimistic about finding his "perfect person." The trio also delves into relationship standards, the myth of the “perfect partner,” why it's okay to be single in your 30s and beyond, and the importance of communication and emotional honesty.

Main Discussion Points & Insights

Sick Girlfriend Solidarity (+ Ashley and Raina’s Catch Up)

• [00:36–03:54] Raina describes her harrowing week with the flu, being cared for by her fiancé, and the comedic partnership of suffering and support in their household.
  • Notable: “No good deed goes unpunished. He got sick on a Sunday, and I took care of him... then I got it two days later.” – Raina [01:45]
• Both hosts express shock at how brutal the flu was this season, leading to new respect for the flu shot and Tamiflu.
  • “I've never been a flu shot girly, but I am now.” – Raina [04:46]

Field Report: Dating App Adventures

• [10:20–15:55] Ashley describes rejoining dating apps, tries “Field” for kinkier, less ‘polite’ chats, and is bombarded with messages (“I have 33 likes, 109 messages in 36 hours!”). [12:27]
  • Notable: “No one's trying to be wholesome on Field… at least they’re a little spicier than the people on other ones.” – Raina [11:21]
• The pair riff on app honesty, height lies, sexy opening lines, and how the platform's looseness fosters more authentic connections—or at least, outrageous sexting:
  • “I'm a Gemini. I’m 5’2 and people think I’m funny. That’s my profile.” – Ashley [13:47]
• They reflect on the pressure of dating with strict physical/interest criteria and the flexibility modern apps offer.

First Date Faux Pas (Low Couches and Trash Kinks)

• [15:55–20:00] Dating horror: Ashley laments low-couch seating on first dates (“my fupa is just pouring out of my pants” [16:00]), awkward physical boundaries, and the perils of picnic or ‘volunteer’ (trash pickup) dates chosen by men.
  • “Trash on a first date is not hitting.” – Raina [19:14]
• The hosts highlight how activity choice on dates can set unwanted intimacy levels and boundary blurring far too early.

Interview: Ricky Liorti on Relationships, Breakups, and Love

TikTok Fame & The Wedding Date Debacle

• [29:00–33:38] Ricky recounts his viral TikTok asking for a date to a friend’s wedding (“Did I think it was gonna go viral?... You don’t think it’s gonna go mega viral. It did.” – Ricky [30:03])
• Result: the bride asked him not to bring a random plus-one; the hosts and Ricky discuss wedding etiquette, the sting of attending solo, and the sometimes awkward expectations for guests in adulthood.

On Being "Too Much" – Lifestyle, Standards, and Compatibility

• [38:01–46:37] Ricky lays out his relationship history: serial long-term dater, now single, with a life “99% full.” He is unwilling to compromise his current lifestyle of travel, fitness, and social adventure for just anyone.
  • “Am I going to risk my 99 for someone that might not make me 100? No. But when I meet my one…I’m willing to risk it.” – Ricky [46:03]
• Hosts riff on the importance of finding a partner who truly fits—not just tags along. The group agrees: Intertwined hobbies and lifestyle alignment are essential (“If my ideal Sunday sounds like hell to you, there’s no chance of working right.” – Ricky [43:20]).
• Ashley and Raina challenge the double standard where men can have energetic, busy lifestyles, but women are sometimes penalized for being ‘too busy’ or ‘hard to pin down.’
  • “If I’m too much for you, that’s fine. Go get less.” – Ricky [61:18]

Relationship Lessons from Heartbreak & Ricky’s Book

• [62:03–69:26] Ricky opens up about his book “Heartbreak Love,” inspired by a long-distance breakup:
  • “The more heartbroken you are and the more you’re hurting, it just means the more you can love. It’s tough to remember, especially on your dark days.” – Ricky [62:14]
• Confesses to self-doubt and insecurity during long-term singleness. Expresses gratitude for heartbreak as a reminder of his capacity for love.
• The book is not a linear narrative but a ‘companion’ for any stage of the love cycle, including journaling space for readers to process their own experiences.

Men vs. Women in Breakups

• [75:44–80:06]
  • Ricky observes:
    • Women’s pain is immediate post-breakup (“short-term pain and then move on”), but once over, it’s really over.
    • Men distract themselves—drink, party, ‘fuck it out,’ but hit emotional pain months later.
  • “If more men supported their friends like women supported themselves, we'd have less broken men. And broken men just hurt women.” – Ricky [78:52]
• The conversation turns to men’s emotional reticence; Ricky calls out toxic masculinity:
  • “Having a conversation with your partner saying, ‘Hey, I’m not okay’—that’s tough… Let’s open up… so we don’t hurt the next person just because we’re not whole.” – Ricky [71:24–80:13]

Reframing Singleness

• [64:46–66:33]
  • “Society tells us there’s something wrong with us once we hit 30 and we’re single... Respectfully, nothing. I just haven’t met my person yet.” – Ricky [64:46]
  • The hosts reinforce: long-term relationships aren’t proof of emotional health; sometimes single people have done more work than those coupled up.

Memorable Quotes & Timestamps

• “No good deed goes unpunished. He got sick on a Sunday, and I took care of him... then I got it two days later.” – Raina [01:45]
• “No one's trying to be wholesome on Field... at least they're a little spicier than the people on the other ones.” – Raina [11:21]
• “If my ideal Sunday sounds like hell to you, there's no chance of this working.” – Ricky [43:20]
• “Am I going to risk my 99 for someone that might not make me 100? No. But when I meet my one, … I'm willing to risk it.” – Ricky [46:03]
• “If I'm too much for you, that's fine. Go get less.” – Ricky [61:18]
• “The more heartbroken you are and the more you're hurting, it just means the more you can love. It's tough to remember, though, especially on your dark days.” – Ricky [62:14]
• “Society tells us there’s something wrong with us once we hit 30 and we’re single... Respectfully, nothing. I just haven’t met my person yet.” – Ricky [64:46]
• “If more men supported their friends like women supported themselves, we’d have less broken men. And broken men just hurt women.” – Ricky [78:52]

Key Segments & Timestamps

• 00:36–06:07 – Raina’s illness story and mutual caretaking in relationships
• 10:20–15:55 – Ashley’s Field dating app stories
• 15:55–20:00 – First-date activity disasters
• 29:00–33:38 – Ricky’s viral wedding date TikTok and wedding guest etiquette
• 38:01–50:43 – Relationship standards, lifestyle compatibility, and “having a full life”
• 62:03–73:36 – Heartbreak, journaling, and Ricky’s book backstory
• 75:44–80:13 – Emotional support (or lack thereof) in men’s breakups; why it harms women too

Hosts’ and Guest’s Advice & Takeaways

• Know yourself before seeking someone else—fill your life with hobbies, friends, and meaning.
• Don't settle for “great” when you're looking for “right”; seeking perfection is reasonable if it means perfect for your values and lifestyle.
• Vulnerability and clear communication, not repression, are keys to healthy love—for men and women.
• Men need cultural permission to process pain openly and to be supported by other men, not just romantic partners.
• Being single in your 30s (or later) is not a failure—reject outdated societal narratives.
• The best relationships happen when both parties maintain their interests but choose to authentically merge their lives.

Closing

Ashley, Raina, and Ricky end on a high note, affirming the value of open-hearted relationships and the courage it takes to pursue authentic connection. Ricky promises to keep being “too much”—for the right person.

Where to Find Ricky:
@yourpalrick on all socials | “Heartbreak Love” (book) | The Pals Podcast

Find the Hosts:
Girls Gotta Eat Podcast – @girlsgottaeatpodcast | @ashhess (Ashley) | @raina.greenberg (Raina)